Chapter 2

The once still warm air felt like a cold draft, permeating the hearts of the petrified girls, who knew distinctively that something terrible was going to happen. It was in the harsh laughter of the hooligans who hovered around like wolves, gaming for their prey.

"What do you want? Leave us alone, we haven't done anything wrong." Trisha managed to squeak before a hand was clamped over her mouth, and she was pulled away from the safety of Nikki's arm.

"Come on, this is serious, cut it out. This isn't funny you know," Nikki gasped before a hand was around her neck and mouth, gripping it tightly, that she had difficulty breathing.

"It's not supposed to be funny, so shut up you sodding dyke! One more word out of you, and I won't be so forgiving. We have plans for Little Miss Queen and you're not invited." A deep callus voice said. Nikki struggled to free herself, but the arms holding her were muscular and hard. In that moment she knew escape was not an option.

"Now that was quite a kiss there, ladies. I quite enjoyed it myself." One of the jocks said, standing beside Trisha, mocking her, as he licked his lips. It was hard to distinguish their faces, with it being dark and they wore black hoods, which covered most their faces. She couldn't recognise them.

"Yeah, we didn't realise that Miss Popular was in fact a lezzy. You're kind disgust me." The taller one said laughing harshly. Nikki wanted to scream and attack him. Her anger was boiling and she knew something terrible was going to happen to Trisha.

"What do you want? Leave her alone. We haven't done anything wrong and if you want to hurt someone then take me." Nikki said bravely. I must be out of my head Nikki thought, but at that moment she didn't have any control and she knew exactly what would happen if she didn't find some way to stop this assault.

"Oh don't worry Romeo I'm sure Juliet won't mind us for a while." One of the oily jocks said as his other mates express amusement with his choice of words.

"You bastard," Nikki shouted, before she fell to her knees. Nikki watched in horror as the two dark forms dragged Trisha off the path and into dense undergrowth. "Please let us go. We haven't done anything," Nikki pleaded. "You won't get away with it." Nikki said angrily as she whimpered on the ground in pain, knowing she was probably going to be next.

"A sodding dyke like you going to stop us, I think not. We aren't interested in a dyke like you. So keep your sodding gob shut." Nikki kicked backward, hoping her boots would meet flesh. It didn't of course. She felt a hard jab to her stomach and then one to her face. She went limp with pain as she fell against the cold pavement. She noticed a dark figure on the sideline leaving. With the side of her face to the ground, she could hear running feet. Maybe he wasn't one of them. Maybe he was going to get help.

It seemed like an eternity, but it was only five minutes before the next jock traded places. A moment later Nikki managed to get free, kneeling on the ground, crying with pain, knowing what was happening to Trisha, and she felt helpless, defenceless, and sick to her stomach. Nikki had to do something, anything. She couldn't allow this senseless crime to continue. She struggled to her knees, anger riveting through her. Her lungs were burning dry. The moment she was on her feet, she screamed at the top of her lungs, the sound carrying in the quiet evening, and with all her strength she grabbed a hold of one of the blokes and started pounding her fits into him. Then she felt her head snap backward as a knee jabbed into the side of her head. Nikki was amazed that she didn't lose conscience, and when one of them tried to put his hand over her mouth she bit down hard on his hand and knew she drew blood. She'd bitten to the very bone. She spit the blood from her mouth.

"What the fuck," He looked at his hand, bleeding then said to one of his mates, "bitch dyke needs a lesson." Then he punched Nikki hard across the face.

"Let's get out of here before someone recognises us." One of them said, obviously worried about getting caught.

"Yeah, okay." But before they left, one of them proceeded to kick Nikki again on the head, as she sprawled on the floor, agonizing in pain. She felt as if she was going to faint but she had to keep herself conscience.

Nikki heard them leave, laughing and slapping each other on the back. She crawled over to the undergrowth, to where they had taken Trisha. Horrified she gathered Trisha into her arms with all the strength she had left. Her head rolled listlessly. "Trisha, I have to leave you here for a few minutes while I get help. I can keep screaming, but it probably won't do any good. I'll be right back."

"No!" Trisha whispered, struggling to get on her knees. "Don't tell anyone. Just help me get up. I think I can walk with your assistance. I just need to lean on you."

Nikki was gob-smacked. Why the hell was Trisha downplaying what just happened? "Let me get the security. They'll call for help. You need to go to a Hospital or the Crisis Centre at least."

"No," Trisha was adamant in her conviction. "You're bleeding Nikki. Did they?"

"No. They didn't get a chance to put their paws on me," Nikki said, her upper lip bleeding and she felt like she had been run over by a truck. "I'm so sorry, I tried to get loose to help you, but they held me down. Are you sure you can walk, Trisha?"

"I can walk, really," Trisha said. Her hair was a mess and her hands were dirty and her face smeared with dirt. "When we get close to the dorm, will you go inside and bring out a coat or something? Can I stay in your room, Nikki? My roommate is still here." Trisha said, struggling to get on her feet.

"Of course you can stay with me, but you need to see a Doctor, Trisha. You have to report this. Are you listening to me?" Nikki said shaking Trisha gently.

"We'll talk about this later. Just get me inside and into the shower. Please, Nikki I beg you." Trisha pleaded.

"You, you can't wash away the evidence, Trisha," Nikki said amazed that Trisha seemed calm after what just transpired. "Listen, I know where the Crisis Centre is. I can take you there right now. Please, you have to confide in the proper authorities." She wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but she had to somehow convince Trisha to seek help. She couldn't allow Trisha to sweep it under the carpet. It wasn't right.

"No. Not now. Just be my friend and help me, please," Trisha said, tears rolling down her face. She looked comatose, standing with a blank expression on her face. Nikki had to be supportive towards Trisha even if she thought she was making a mistake.

After walking what seemed like forever they finally approached the building. "There's the dorm up ahead. Stay in the shadows, and I'll run in and get my raincoat. Are you sure you're alright?" Nikki asked her eyes watery from the pain and the guilt she felt. Everything about this screamed wrong.

"No, I'm not all right. Will you just hurry please," Trisha demanded!

Nikki lumbered off, her thoughts so chaotic she thought she was going to pass out. She couldn't believe what just transpired, it made her nauseous. She felt such anger than one would feel if they were violated in the most ghastly fashioned. How could someone commit such a heinous crime? She was still trying to wrestle the thought of Trisha being gang-raped. Once inside the dorm, she ran up the stairs with accelerated speed towards her floor even though she was in a lot of pain. She rummaged for her raincoat. She grabbed a bottled of water that was on the table, and quickly wiped the blood from her face then she scurried back down the hall, not bothering to lock her door. Students coming into the building stared at her, some of them shouting greetings while others mumbled and muttered about finals the following day. She ignored them all as she raced to the spot where she left Trisha.

"Drink this, and I'll help you slowly put on the raincoat. It should keep you covered." Nikki said as she tried to wipe the dirt from Trisha's face. "When you feel steady enough to walk, I want you to lean on me. I ran into a couple of girls on the first floor. You can pretend you had too much to drink." Nikki said, holding on to Trisha's arm.

"I don't drink Nikki," Trisha said her voice strained.

"Okay, we'll say you just feel sick. I don't like this, Trisha. It doesn't feel right. You need to see a Doctor. Please, change your mind and let me call the authorities." Nikki pleaded once more. She didn't quite understand why Trisha was contemplating forgetting the whole ordeal, like it was just something that happened.

"Please, Nikki, not now. Let's just get out of here, okay?" Trisha looked at Nikki. She wanted to break down but she felt that she needed to be strong. She didn't want Nikki seeing her vulnerable, weak. She knew that Nikki would probably try to convince her to seek help but she did not want to go down that avenue. She couldn't bear to live through that ordeal again. Deep inside she knew that she should confide in others but she was overwhelmed with the thought of being victimized again. She had known about other girls who were raped in school and nothing or little was ever done. And if they did get prosecuted, they most likely served a light sentence. She could not bear others to look at her differently. She was also afraid that she would be ousted and didn't want to be labelled as a lesbian. She knew it was a selfish, cowardly act, but right now, she couldn't deal with everything.

Nikki sighed heavily. "All right, all right, but this is against everything I believe in. We can't let those blokes get away without being punished properly."

"We don't even know what they looked like. One of them made me swallow. I threw up all over him." Trisha said disgusted.

Nikki wanted to cry. Her hold on Trisha tightened. She wanted to hold Trisha tightly and whisk her away. Nikki felt a certain need to be protective over Trisha. "There's the dorm. I don't see anyone. Can you make it?"

"Yes." Trisha replied softly.

"Okay, let's go." After a few steps Nikki realised that there didn't appear to be anyone around. "Good, I think everyone must've left. We'll just wait until you're ready. Just hold on to my arm." Nikki's heart was racing, and she kept telling herself to calm down. How could something like this happen? How was she going to change Trisha's mind? Everything was shite! The minute Nikki locked the door to her room Trisha slipped to the floor and curled into a ball position. Hard sobs whacked her body. Nikki dropped to the floor and stared at Trisha helplessly. "You can't let them get away with this, Trisha. You just can't. It's not right"

"You know how it all works, Nikki. They were all jocks. They'll lie, the way they always do. School rape is just a fact of life. I can't identify them, and that's the bottom line. I'm done crying now," Trisha said in a defeated voice. "Help me into the shower and promise me you'll stand guard, okay?"

"I promise," Nikki looked at Trisha who seemed lost. "Trisha, you can't wash away what happened."

"I can try. Do you think for one minute I don't know what would happen if everyone found out? For Christ sakes, Nikki, they saw me kissing you and I'm sure everything would get distorted and the truth would get lost between all the lies. My parents would surely disown me. My friends would look at me strangely, and Thomas would probably be disgusted with me. He would probably say that I wanted it. This is between us, Nikki. If you tell, I'll deny it. I want you to understand that."

"Is that what you're worried about, your reputation? That sounds absurd. Do you hear yourself?" Nikki said angrily. She couldn't believe that Trisha would allow her fears to do the right thing.

"It's my right, Nikki. You can't possibly understand what I'm going through." Trisha snapped back, her throat scratchy.

Nikki looked at Trisha with anger. "You're right, I can't possibly know what you're going through," Nikki said sarcastically, "But remember I was there too. How do you think I feel? I couldn't stop it and the only way that I can help you - overcome all this shite and you won't let me try. I can't just stand idle and watch those sodding pricks get away with what they've done to you."

"Nikki, I'm sorry, but it's my choice and you should respect it. I just can't have anyone knowing what I am. I'm just not ready for it. I know you don't understand but I need you to support me. I'm not as strong as you are. I'm know I'm being a coward but…please understand Nikki" Trisha shot back. Nothing was going to change her mind.

"You didn't invite the violation. You're a victim, dammit. It's not your fault. If you do nothing, they'll get away with it. They'll probably do it to someone else, don't you see." Nikki pleaded, "You can't hide forever what you feel inside and you're stronger than you think. Don't let others guilt you into living a life that is not your own. What are you so afraid of? Being labelled as a lesbian?"

"You don't understand, Nikki," Trisha looked at Nikki with despair. "It's hard being the perfect child with the perfect life. It's easier to forget I have attractions towards other girls."

Nikki shook her head. "That doesn't solve anything. It won't make what you feel inside go away."

"I know that. I wish I were as strong as you Nikki. I wish I could tell my parents about myself, but I can't. I can't deal with it now." Trisha pleaded. She knew Nikki would not understand. How could she, when she didn't understand herself. Life was shite and she did not have any answers. She was attracted to Nikki and wished nothing more than to be free and live her life the way she wanted. But every decision has consequences and she wasn't ready to face them.

"If not now, when? Ten years down the road when you're unhappily married with 2.5 kids, wasting your life away for the greater good?" Nikki said her voice full of emotions.

"I don't want to think about that. I'll deal with my problem in my own way. I have two finals tomorrow, and then I'm driving home." Trisha said. "Please don't look at me like that, Nikki, please. All I want right now is for you to be my friend and help me. Are you sure it's okay for me to sleep here tonight?"

Nikki was tormented. She was confused. She didn't want Trisha to pretend that tonight didn't happen, yet at the same time, if she were truly to be a friend to Trisha, she would have to swallow her pride and bite the bullet. "Okay Trisha, I have an extra blanket that you could use."

"Do you have an extra pair of jumpers?"

"I wish you'd let me do something, Trisha. I don't feel right about this." Nikki said again, thinking Trisha was out of her mind. She could understand why Trisha would be scared about the whole rape ordeal but pretending it will go away on its own was just insane.

"I'm doing what I have to do. I know you don't understand, but it's for the best. Can we go to the loo now?" Trisha pleaded. "I want you to throw my clothes away, and burn them if you think that it's necessary."

"That's evidence, Trisha. You can't expect me to just burn your clothes. What if you change your mind in the future?" Nikki said, almost in tears.

"Please Nikki, you must. Do it for me. I'm asking you as a favour." Trisha begged.

Nikki quietly walked away and opened a drawer and pulled out a brown paper bag. "I'll take care of it."

"I wish I'd taken the time to know you before all this happened, Nikki. It's so strange. I trust you the way I trust my family." Trisha said, winching in pain.

"Obviously you don't trust me enough or you'd seek help. This whole ugly scene could make your relationship stronger with them. It doesn't have to be this way." Nikki protested.

"If you believe that for even one minute, I'm sure the violins will surely be playing your song." Trisha said harshly. Nikki looked down in disgust. She wasn't going to change Trisha's mind. This she knew. "Look, Nikki, I'm sorry about what I said, it was out of order. Promise me you'll stand guard in front of the loo. Look at me, I've been a selfish cow and you're hurt and bleeding."

"I'm okay, Trisha. I don't need tending," Nikki said with anguish in her voice. She wanted to scream at the stars and beg the question – 'was her lifestyle so horrible that it warrant creeps to do horrific things'

A half hour later, Nikki opened the bathroom door. Steam spiralled upward and then sailed out the open door. "Trisha, you've been in there long enough. You need to come out now."

"I don't feel clean just yet. Just a while longer, Nikki, please." Trisha said, letting the water fall onto her skin, as if she could escape the memories.

Nikki walked over to the shower and turned off the water. "All the showering in the world isn't going to make you feel clean unless you do something about it. You're going to need to talk to a counsellor when you go home. Will you at least do that for me?" Nikki turned away as she waited for Trisha to cover herself.

"I don't know, perhaps. I live in a small town, Nikki. People talk gossip all the time. How long do you think it will take for the bruises to go away?" Trisha asked trying to change the subject.

"I don't know Trisha. You could wear long sleeves, I'm sure no one will take notice, but that's the least of your problems. I have a camera. Do you want me to take pictures of your bruises? The police do that all the time in rape cases. Just in case you change your mind and want to report the incident later on?" Nikki smiled, trying to entice Trisha to change her mind.

"No, I'm not going to change my mind. What I would like is some alcohol so I can go to sleep. Did you lock the door?" Trisha asked, feeling fragile and weary. Her mind was chaotic and she was hurting.

"It's locked and I thought you said you didn't drink." Nikki said her brow upwards.

"Well, under these circumstances," Trisha replied, her voice sounding tired as she went to sit of the bed.

Nikki nodded in agreement. She couldn't argue with that explanation. "Sleep in my bed, Trisha. Don't argue, just do it."

"How can I ever repay you for all your kindness to me this evening? Will you sit with me till I fall asleep?" Trisha said feeling the need for Nikki's protection. She was glad she wasn't alone and she wanted to hold onto Nikki for dear life but her arms couldn't move.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I feel I'm partly to blame for the whole situation." Nikki said feeling dismayed.

"Nikki, don't. It wasn't your fault. You tried your best and they hurt you. I'm just really glad I wasn't alone through this ordeal." Nikki held Trisha's hand. "I just wish…I wished that things were different. I think I could have fallen in love with you." Trisha said sadly. "I wish I was brave as you Nikki."

Nikki sighed. She knew everything was shite and nothing would ever be the same. Her one chance to get to know Trisha was tarnished. "I'm here, babe." Nikki laid her head on the edge of the bed, pulling Trisha closer as she wrapped her arms around her.

"Do you know what one of those bastards said to me while he was raping me? Trisha said sleepily. "He said, 'silence is golden'."

Nikki's shoulders collapsed the minute she heard Trisha breathing even out, she started to shake. Like Trisha, she wanted to curl into the ball and shut the world from the inside. She couldn't do that, though. She had to stay alert and watch over Trisha in case she woke during the night with nightmares. This was shite! She knew that nothing would be the same from this moment on. She decided she could do something, anything. She knew Trisha would be angry with her if she found out but Nikki couldn't just stand by, so she rolled carefully the sleeves of Trisha's pyjamas and took pictures of her cuts and bruises. 'Just in case, she thought'. Then she slipped the pictures into the bag without looking at them. Then Nikki Wade did something she hadn't done in a very long time.

She prayed.

"This is it, Nikki, your big day!" Barbara Hunt, Nikki's godmother, said happily. "How does it feel to be graduating first in your class?"

"It feels brilliant. Barbara, do you mind if I leave you for a few minutes. I have to find someone before all hell breaks loose."

"Go ahead, honey. I will go to my seat and wait. Take all the time you need."

Nikki fought her way through happy, laughing students and their equally happy parents until she spotted someone she recognised who might know where Trisha was. She nudged her shoulder gently, and asked, "Have you seen Trisha Harris?"

The girl who had long, sandy brown hair stared at Nikki for a long minute. "Didn't you hear?"

Nikki looked around her, smiling faces, as the noise turned to silence and it felt like the world was spinning around. Her instincts told her that whatever the girl was going to tell her, she wasn't going to like it. "Hear what?" Nikki whispered fearfully.

"Trisha killed herself two days ago. Thomas didn't attend the graduation. He's having a real hard time of it. Were you a friend of Trisha?"

"Yes. Yes, I was." Nikki stammered as she made her way through the crowd, tears streaming down her cheeks. She thought about the paper bag with Trisha's clothes, and the pictures that she'd taken home with her and were now in Barbara's garage. (Just in case) Next week she'll come back and file a report with the authorities. If it stirred up a can of worms with Trisha's family and Thomas, then so be it. They deserved to know the real truth as to why Trisha killed herself. No death should be in vain. Nikki wiped at her tears with her sleeve, her throat constricted then quietly took her place near the end of the graduation line.

(Parts of my story will be hard to read as some subject matters are sensitive. I just hope I can bring justice to all, and hope that those who read my story can read it with an open mind. Just enjoy, as my mind fumble with ideas. Thanks.)