The Fatal Flaw in the Funny Female

5th Year (the Week Following Christmas Break)

Jo made her way to the only other cauldron in the empty potions classroom and plopped her bag down on the floor. Without missing a beat, the tall blond boy whipped his head toward her, pale blue eyes narrowed.

"Napoleon was afraid of cats," he said it like a challenge, a tiny smirk playing across his lips.

"Why do people want to clone themselves?" replied Jo. She smiled menacingly at him, hands on her hips.

"Why?" he asked, frowning. Perhaps he wouldn't win this one after all.

"So they won't be…clonely" she replied, raising the pitch of her voice at the last word. She covered her amused smile with a hand.

"No," the boy replied in disbelief. Contradicting emotions flashed across his face: amusement and disgust at the horrendous pun. "You win this round, Sharma." Jo let out a delighted cackle as Scorpius shook his head. The routine greetings over and done with, the two set about working as Jo checked Scorpius' cauldron and corrected his mistakes.

Jo had been Scorp's potions tutor since second year when, after gaining a reputation as being surprisingly terrible at potions, Scorpius finally sent his seatmate to the hospital wing. He was absolutely horrible at potions, and Jo was surprised to find she had a knack for it, so Slughorn moved her beside Scorp to help him out (much to her original seatmate's chagrin). Ever since the new arrangement, she'd been helping him out and he'd been doing better. That is, he wasn't causing life-threatening accidents every time they had to brew something. So they were paired in every potions class, Jo gladly helped her friend with his homework, and Hogwarts was all the safer.

"Hi," Scorp said suddenly after a long silence. Jo had been watching him stir the mixture, making sure he rotated the appropriate number of times and in the proper direction.

"Huh? Oh, hi," she said, smiling up at him sleepily. She'd been staring far too fixedly at the contents of the cauldron, her eyelids drooping threateningly. It was about midnight. Jo had to study for a quiz the next day and work on a paper, so they couldn't meet up until then. Scorp had asked for extra help for the next potion they'd have to brew. The instructions were too specific, and yet some parts were vague. The whole thing was altogether contradictory and impossible to understand, and yet Jo had gotten it in one glance.

"Sorry," he said under his breath as she began to teeter dangerously towards the bubbling mixture.

"It's fine. I actually like potions, remember?" she said, straightening up, opening her eyes wide in an effort to keep awake, and smiling up at him. In a few years, the gap in their height had only increased, perhaps because Scorpius was only growing quicker, while Jo's growth seemed to slow down. This was useful for the rare occasion Jo needed to hide behind someone, in which case Scorpius was the best option because of his height and wide back. Jo was startled out of her thoughts. Scorpius was calling her name, and she blushed just the slightest bit as she realized she'd been thinking too often lately of his broad back, and his face when he was focused on something, and the softness of his hair, and how smiles only every danced or played across his lips, never lingering…

"Jo?" Scorp asked again, peering into her face, looking concerned. Jo shook the intrusive thoughts out of her head. It was normal to observe how one's friend had grown over the years, wasn't it?

"Just tired," she replied, which was true, in any case, and maybe did have some part in the frequency of her Scorpius-driven daydreams. "That's…not good," Jo said, looking into the green-brown sludge that was beginning to go crusty inside Scorpius' cauldron. The boy groaned in frustration and ruffled his hair with both hands, getting bits of ingredients stuck to it. Jo attempted to pull the ladle out of the quickly hardening concoction, gave up, and dusted the flecks of ingredients off of Scorpius' hair as he obediently leaned down towards her.

"Alright, I'm sorry, we should go back. I'll manage somehow in class, and you can still help me out then. I'm just sorry you had to stay up for nothing," Scorpius sighed, straightening back up.

"Stop apologising," Jo insisted, punching his upper arm. "I'm just glad the dungeons aren't too far from the Hufflepuff dorms." They packed up their belongings, cleared everything away, and started the long walk back.

"I don't understand. Do we chop it or crush it? It doesn't make sense," Scorpius was whispering in the eerie dark of the corridors. Jo watched him in amusement. She'd told him before that instructions sometimes varied for potions. Potions masters usually did things in different ways, depending on style and preference, so there was no need to stick so closely to the book, but this only frustrated him more.

"Dice it. I think it works better that way. Crush it and you lose most of the juices, chop it up and the pieces are too big," Jo replied, swinging her arms as she walked. Scorpius marvelled at how the cold creepiness of the place never seemed to bother her. Nothing ever seemed to bother her.

"Five sickles Al's still out with Emily," said Scorpius, eyeing the short girl from the corner of his eye.

"You're on," she said, grinning. "Emily's persistent, but she wouldn't keep him out too late."

"Easiest five sickles I've ever made," Scorpius said airily.

It was remarkable how the boy had changed since first year. He'd started out sullen and hesitant, and had kept mostly to himself. Though, in the first place, hardly anyone would talk to him. But Hufflepuff was an easy-going house, and people were quick to warm up to others, and he'd soon found he was surrounded by friends. No one watched him warily from the corners of their eyes, and no one whispered about his family when they thought he couldn't hear. Well, every year there would always be curious first years, but the dorms were safe, he decided.

And there was Jo. At first he thought she'd befriended him because she didn't know anyone else in Hufflepuff, but he was quickly proven wrong. Time and time again, Jo's sister's friends would walk by and wave or ruffle her hair playfully. Jo sometimes kept to herself, like him, but she made friends quickly and easily, and why not? Scorpius would tell himself. What's not to like? And soon enough, she introduced him to the boy who would be his first best friend.

Albus, like Scorp, also kept to himself. Scorp imagined he faced a similar problem with curious first years. As time passed, they started to feel easier around one another, especially when Jo was around to keep the conversation going. A few years and several awkward mishaps later, the two were inseparable, which was why Scorp was glad for Emily, who'd round Albus up once in a while, allowing him and Jo to be alone together. Scorp loved Al, but Jo was just…something else, and Al was too perceptive to have around while he was off guard with Jo. Now, at Hogwarts at least, Scorp felt lighter. He'd laugh and smile easier, and he'd even joke around. He had friends. He had best friends. He felt he could breathe.

As they rounded a familiar corner that signalled they were nearing the dorms, Jo seemed to go uneasy. She'd been humming absently just a moment ago, but she'd suddenly stopped. She was frowning at her feet as she walked. Scorpius could tell she wanted to say something.

"Scorp…", Jo began when they neared the stack of barrels marking the entrance to the Hufflepuff dormitory, "Casper Larkin, he-", Scorp realized she was sniffling, and a surprising feeling of anger at Casper Larkin welled up in him.

"What did he do?" Scorp asked, reigning in the anger. He was practiced at covering things up like that.

"He asked me…" Scorp's heart seized for a split second, "about Charlie, about what sort of boys she liked." Immediately, Scorpius' face softened. Casper was a seventh year Gryffindor Jo had fancied for months. He was smart, athletic, and easy-going. It was no surprise. It was also no surprise that Casper Larkin would fancy Charlie Sharma, who was just as smart, athletic, and easy-going, though perhaps more popular. Perhaps Casper hadn't even realized Jo fancied him. As far as Scorp had observed, she'd never let on about it in public.

"Charlie fancies him too," said Jo. "She told me so herself, when I told her how Casper'd asked."

"Jo…" Scorp said. They were right in front of the entrance now. He wanted to console her, but didn't know how.

"Just…come over here," she motioned for him to come closer, laughing at herself, despite the tears welling up in her eyes. She pressed her face into his shoulder and held onto him for dear life as small sobs shook her shoulders. Scorpius rubbed her back comfortingly, trying to quell the happy surprise making his stomach flutter. First priority: "It's alright, Jo. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that," he said awkwardly.

"But…Casper Larkin…" she mumbled between sobs, "was the boy equivalent of a dolphin!" Scorp choked down the surprised guffaw, making him cough. "And it had to be Charlie. She's, like, the girl equivalent of a dolphin." Scorp thought about how to respond to that. That Jo was the girl equivalent of a narwhal? She'd punch him in the gut.

After a while, Jo extracted herself from him, wiping her eyes and nose. She took a deep breath, shook the life back into herself, and exhaled determinedly. "Sorry, I messed up your shirt," she gave him a tentative smile to let him know she was going to be okay.

"It's alright, I'm going to bed soon, anyway," he smiled back, ruffling her hair, which she hated. She furrowed her brow at him, though she was still smiling.

"If you tell anyone about this, especially Al and the girls, I'm going to set your favourite comfy socks on fire," she threatened.

"Got it, trust me, I would not sic Al and your crazy childhood friends on some unsuspecting boy," Scorp imagined Lies Wang leaving the poor Gryffindor hanging from his underpants in the Great Hall.

"Now, come on," she entered the Hufflepuff common room, Scorpius trailing behind her. "Five sickles," she announced as soon as they saw Al passed out on one of the cozy couches. Scorp cursed under his breath.

"I haven't got any money on me right now. Hold on," Scorp made his way to the boys' dorm, ducking low. The only problems with the otherwise warm and hospitable dorm were the ridiculously low ceilings and door frames.

"Al, you'll wake up with a back ache," Jo said, patting Al's cheek to wake him up.

"Shut it, Em, I'm dead right now," the brunet mumbled, swatting Jo's hand away. He huddled deeper into the couch, letting his glasses slip lower on his nose.

"Al, its Jo, just move to your bed, Al," Jo tried again, shaking the boy's shoulders. "These bloody tall boys," Jo grunted, trying to pull Al to his feet. Scorp laughed when he saw her, struggling to support a boy much taller and heavier than her.

"Here," he handed her the five sickles and took Al from her. "Em kept you out late, huh?" he asked Al who only grunted menacingly at the mention of Emily's name. Scorp bent low, balancing Al on his back while Jo supported the other boy. The trio shuffled awkwardly into the boys' dorm. The other students weren't surprised, and Scorpius guessed Jo and Al's antics were what made people finally believe he wasn't the least bit threatening. They certainly were an odd sight: Al, lopsided on a struggling, red-faced Scorpius' back, Jo shuffling clumsily behind them, holding up Al's butt.

They finally rolled Al onto his bed beside Scorpius'. The blond flexed backwards like an old man, and Jo watched him, wondering since when he could lift someone onto his back like that.

"I'll walk you," Scorpius said, all seriousness as he straightened back up.

"Thanks, but I think I'll survive the walk through the common room on my own just fine," she teased, looking up at him like he'd just morphed a second nose. He rolled his eyes, mostly as an excuse to break eye contact.

"Come on, then," Jo conceded. She didn't really mind him tagging along if he really wanted to.

"Jo!" cried Charlie as soon as her sister exited to the common room. "I hear Dom and Lies are throwing another party next Hogsmeade weekend!"

"I know! Are you going with friends?" Jo replied, moving to the side as Scorpius exited as well.

"I think so," Charlie shrugged. She'd been on her way to bed when she saw Jo, and was making her way inside then. "Well, I gotta go. Goodnight!"

"'Night," Jo called after her, walking to the door after her sister disappeared. As soon as she was sure the coast was clear, she spun around to face Scorpius. "It wasn't a big thing, okay? The thing a while ago, outside. I just…had to get it out. Thank you, though, for being there."

"I understand. It's alright," and Scorpius did understand. Jo fancied Larkin, but she would be happy for her sister. It was Scorp's job, and all of Jo's other friends', to make sure she wouldn't think it was because she couldn't measure up to Charlie, he concluded.

"Goodnight"

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