Mistakes

by Kyra4

Gunther's bewildering behavior frustrates Jane to the point where she flatly refuses to ask him for help– possibly at the cost of her very life. "He could sense time stretching out ahead of him– days, weeks, months. Years. Time that, according to the laughing bandit, wouldn't include Jane. He didn't want it. He didn't want ANY of it, not a single, solitary moment." J/G *Complete*

16. Chapter 16

Gunther had raked a hand through his hair. Looked away. Looked back at her again. He'd clearly been deeply unsettled, but seemed at a loss as to what do say or do about it.

"Daydreaming again?" he'd asked, staring at her hard. But before she could frame a reply, he'd raked his hair again and blurted, "this is not like you. Please tell me you are all right."

She'd just stared at him. Everything around them had seemed to slow down – and then fall away. There'd been only the two of them, locked together in that moment with everything, everything, hinging on the words he'd just spoken – and on her reply.

This was the moment, this was her chance to confess, to come clean, to tell him how confused she was by what was happening to her, how scared. To tell him that the wound had been small, negligably small, but the repurcussions were big, big and getting bigger all the time, like the ripples spreading outward from a small pebble tossed into a still pond.

And that made no sense, no sense at all that she could see, and as such it was terrifying, it was so frightening that the only way she could even begin to cope with it was to refuse, just flat-out refuse to look at it head-on.

She could say all this; he'd just invited her to. She could say all this, and he would help her; whatever he thought about it, whatever he thought about her, he would help her. He'd have to.

And yet… therein lay the whole problem. She didn't want to put herself in a position where he had to offer help and she had to accept it. When her mind whispered, traitorously, that she was already in that position, she refuted it flatly. She'd already made herself vulnerable to Gunther once on this disaster of a mission, by sharing his flask, accpeting his advances and – dear God, the humiliation – actually declaring her love for him. And look how all of that had turned out.

She certainly wasn't going to repeat that mistake. Not now, not ever. Damned if she would. So –

"I am fine," she'd said. Then, noting how profoundly unconvinced he looked, she'd added, "a little tired, maybe."

He'd frowned. "but do… is there…" he'd trailed off, though, then simply, abruptly said, "all right," and turned away. "Set up camp as quickly as possible," he'd called out, speaking in general now, no longer exclusively to Jane. "We bed down early and we rise early – before first light. I want to have my midday meal at the castle tomorrow."