Chapter 6

Helen sighed. "I haven't told you everything yet, Nikki"

Nikki looked at Helen and wondered what she was holding back. "I'm listening."

"Well, as strange as it might sound to you, he's alleging that he was victimized recently by police officers," Helen chuckled. "He claims that he was attacked viciously and sexually violated because he's the prime suspect of the rape and murder, which of course, he denies complete involvement."

Nikki was taken aback. Did she hear correctly? "Is that plausible?"

Helen thought about it for a moment before answering. "Honestly, I think it's a fabrication in his mind, but of course I can't rule out the possibility that there might be some truth to his story." Nikki looked over at Helen with interest and she sense it. "Well, officers have been known to go out of their way, if you know what I mean." Nikki felt sick. It's not like she was under any illusion. She had heard of corruption and brutality in the force, but officers were the first line of defence and if you can't put your faith in them, then whom can you trust.

"Look Nikki, I know you're probably thinking how awful this must sound. But believe me when I say most officers are sworn to uphold the law. You'll always have the rotten apples in a bunch. Still, I don't believe what he said to be true. Certain facts of his story doesn't add up." She said, trying to defuse the notion that all officers were corrupted.

"I can only guess he's not taking proper medication to control his delusions and paranoia. Is he capable of murder, I don't know. He probably suffers from social isolation, and from the information I gathered he has hallucination, typically regarded as manifestations of psychosis." Nikki said, thinking. "If he was assaulted, then he will most likely shows signs of bizarre behaviour towards authoritative figures."

"He does seem to fit the profile," Helen said intrigued by Nikki's conclusion. "If he in fact suffers from schizophrenia or had a psychotic break, then I'm way out of my league." She chastised herself. "It's funny, during one of our interrogation he seemed arrogant, very controlling, and his eyes looked like the devil. Kept saying that they needed to die. It was God's will."

"Did you sense at that moment that he was hearing voices in his head or seeing things that were not there?" Nikki said raising her brow.

"I did think he was having illusions, but just because you're neglected as a child or abused doesn't mean you'll grow up to have Bipolar disorders." Helen said, knowing that she probably didn't understand how schizophrenia minds really worked.

"Actually hallucinations are different from illusions, or perceptual distortions, which are the misperception of external stimuli." Nikki explained. "Although, I can't make a judgment until I meet him, but from what you mentioned earlier, it doesn't seem consistent with his behaviour. A person who suffers from Bipolar disorder would display certain characteristics and I don't see it here. Although, certain characteristics do bleed onto one another."

"Really, what makes you think that? He was diagnosed as being Bipolar." Helen said intrigued. This Nikki was a sharp tool.

"They would suffer from panic attacks, have obsessive thoughts, unrelenting worries or have an incapacitating phobia. They suffer from extreme highs and lows of depression. Their moods are so intense that they interfere with their ability to function." Nikki explained. "Mason behaviour would almost certainly be pervasive and distort experience by misconstruing the simple act of friendliness as hostile or contemptuous. He seems to have emotional difficulty and irritability due to impairment in social cognition."

Helen looked at Nikki with awe. She couldn't help but admire her. She felt an attraction, not physically, although, if she was truthful, she did feel something, but wasn't quite sure what that 'something was'. It couldn't be physical, because she was straight and wasn't supposed to feel those kinds of things. Whatever she felt during college was just a phase and nothing more. That is what she kept telling herself.

"Has he ever been aggressive towards you or others during your interrogations with him?" Nikki asked, putting her fingers underneath her chin, thinking.

"No, not towards me personally. But he has been in altercations with other male officers. He has an extensive record, mostly assault with deadly weapon throughout his adulthood and other minor misdemeanours." Helen said. "Honestly, I don't believe his story."

"Is he married or divorce? Does he have any children, family with a history of schizophrenia?" Nikki asked squinting her eyes.

"I believe he lives alone and I don't really know if he's ever been married, or had children. As for family, as I mentioned earlier, he appears to be a ghost with no family history" Helen laughed to cover her frustration then she leaned forward. "He kept saying I was trying to control his mind, trying to poison him. Told me I was emotionally raping him. I nearly struck him." Helen said between her teeth.

"You don't have to defend yourself to me, Helen. I know your reputation, and I've heard nothing but positive things about you from Karen. You said you thought he was setting you up for something. Can you be more specific?" Nikki asked. She could see Helen's frustration and she found that attractive.

Helen took a deep breath then let out a heavy sigh. "I wish I could explain further, Nikki, but it's really just a feeling I get." She thought a moment. "Last week, during interrogation, it occurred to me that everything he was saying was rehearsed. Like someone coerced him into changing his story. When I tested my theory, he got hostile with me and told me to that he felt I was concentrating too much on the surface, and not enough on the obvious." Helen sat back, crossed her arms.

"Did you ask him what he meant by 'emotional rape'?" Nikki queried. Her facial expression told Helen she was concerned.

"I really didn't think much of it. I thought he was just trying to wind me up or trying to manipulate me." Helen sighed again. "Obviously, I'm not qualified to do an assessment on him. I'm out of my league here Nikki. As an officer we're trained to use our intuition and knowledge in solving crimes."

"Maybe the word 'rape' has deep meaning for him," Nikki said, thinking. "Perhaps he was molested as a child and then molested other children, as some rape victims do when they become adults." Helen was impressed. Nikki had an insightful quality about her that she admired. "Or perhaps, in a sick way, he had witnessed or was involved in the rape and the torment of what he's done has driven him to punish himself outwardly. Maybe he's trying to amend for the sins that have haunted him in the past. He's having difficulty distinguishing fact from reality. He's progressing."

"Wow, you really are brilliant," Helen smiled. She found herself wanting to know more about this Nikki Wade character and why she was becoming fascinated with her. She never met such an intriguing character and it made her feel something. A feeling she wasn't quite sure she could explain. An alienated feeling that she felt only once, so many years ago. But true to her nature, she would shrug it off as an overreaction.

"You mentioned that you don't think he would do harm to you. Maybe he's testing you and this could be used to his advantage." Nikki said.

"I realise that, which is why I'm trying to establish a connection." Helen answered. "At first when he was brought in he didn't want to speak to anyone except for a female officer. I'm not quite sure why. Ever since, he's demanded to only speak with me."

"I mean no disrespect here, Helen, but maybe he sees you as a pawn in a chess board game. Someone, who, he knows might listen to his side of the story. The bottom line is - if you feel any apprehension, then maybe you should keep a distance from him. Perhaps you're getting too close to this case. You might need to focus on other evidence." Nikki said, trying not to sound as if she was going Helen an order. She was there to give her insights and opinions even if it was something Helen did not agree with.

"Well, I don't deny that he does concern me, yet I don't really believe he would be do something harmful towards me. I can't really explain it, Nikki. I think he would consider it rude to lay harm to me." Helen said, her voice, a little hesitate. "I know you must think I'm too focused on one person and that I should concentrate on other evidence, but he's connected. I can't see any other alternatives." She said passionately. "That's why I need you Nikki. I need you to give me an assessment on him. See what we're not seeing."

"You know as well as I do there's a lot of 'what ifs' in our business. You also know that psychiatry is not an exact science." Nikki said leaning back on the chair. She sensed that Helen felt a little helpless, and that's a difficult feeling when you're trying to help someone. She knew from her own experience that she never gave up on a patient unless it was doing more harm than good.

Even though Nikki was right, it wasn't what Helen wanted to hear. "Did you ever lose a patient, Nikki?"

"Sure, it's part of the job. There are some who we cannot save. I try to focus on those we can." Nikki said quickly, remembering Trisha. She felt a tightening in her heart.

"I don't like losing, and I don't want to lose this one, it's too important to me," Helen's eyes pleading for sympathy.

"Listen, you can say and do whatever you want, Helen. I'm not here to judge your methods, but you're on a thin line here." Now Nikki was patronizing her.

"What would you do?" Helen asked shifting in her chair.

Nikki thought about it for a moment. "Okay after what you told me I might have to look at other evidence. You're spending too much time and energy on this one bloke, and you could be ignoring important pieces of evidence." Again, Nikki was right, Helen realised as she thought about the sleepless nights she'd spent since first meeting Mason. But she couldn't shake off a feeling that she could break through to him, if only she could find an angle. Something inside her told her that this was a much more complex case than she knew.

"I know I'm crazy to tell you this, but at times when off duty I sit in my car and watch his building from afar." Helen glanced up, and before Nikki could say anything, she added, "I went there for a reason. Please don't chastise me for my lack of professionalism. I know I was wrong. But I did it, okay? Yet the question remains, why does it seem like I'm reaching out to a ghost? Something doesn't add up."

Nikki had stopped reading the file, when she glanced up at Helen. "You do realise, don't you, that you're breaking the cardinal rule here? You're allowing yourself to get personally involved with a suspect." Helen nodded, looking down. She sighed heavily then placed her hands on the desk. "What are you trying to prove, Helen?"

Helen cleared her throat. "I think...I don't know what I think." Trying not to look at Nikki. "I don't know Nikki. I've never come across anything like this before. I hope once you meet him, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I don't know how to proceed. I'm out of my depth here. Obviously you are too, since you aren't helping me."

Nikki sighed again then ran her fingers through her hair. "This sound like a plot for a mystery novel. What day is his release?"

"This Wednesday. Of course I have to get permission from the appointed psychiatrist." Helen stated.

"Yes, of course. Well, let me know and we'll take it from there. I'm sorry I can't be more of a help at the moment."

"It's okay Nikki, I didn't expect a miracle," Helen weakly smiled. At least she felt that Nikki was on the same page as her. Maybe with her help, Helen can finally put this case to rest and get Simon off her back. At least she had the support of Detective Chief Superintendent Neil Grayling.

"What took you so long, I'm freezing out here," he whispered. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to meet me."

"Sorry, it's just that my old woman was in such a foul mood today." The voice responded. "Are we alone? Why don't we take a walk first?"

"Yes, but is this wise," He glanced nervously about. "We mustn't be seen together."

"I know, but it's such a beautiful evening." He gave him an impious smile. "I talk better when I'm walking."

"Sounds serious."

"It is." He said, with a crude laugh.

The other man looked nervous. "Is this about the Detectives and Mason?" A deep frown creased his worried face.

"Yes -."

He looked down at the floor. He didn't want to go through this again.

"He's gone and got himself into trouble again. Went and cut himself real badly. The police are on him like a fly on shite. I think he's going to break." The taller man said.

"He wouldn't do that. I know he's unstable but I don't think he'll speak."

"How can you be so sure of that? Look what happened six years ago. Or have you forgotten?" He said irritated.

"But we took care of that." He said, remembering. It made him sick to his stomach.

"Yes, but I took care of that, remember. The police had nothing on him and they have nothing on him now. You need to be a little more relaxed."

"How can I be relaxed?"

"Listen, I'll deal with Mason once he gets out. Keep your shirt on and all will sort itself."

"I'm just nervous about everything. How long can we keep this up?"

"Just as long as you keep your gob shut and leave Mason to me, nothing will change, do you hear me?" He said in a stern voice, almost a threatening quality to it. "You're not backing out are you?"

"We got to be careful" the voice said, nervously.

"Just leave everything to me. You trust me don't you," the taller man said, his eyes cold as steel. "We are a team. Just play your part and I will take care of Mason."

"What does that mean? You're not planning to harm him, are you?" Feeling evil around them. He knew what he was doing would be seen as malevolent, yet he could not stop on his own will. He knew right from wrong and the consequences but what a rush it gave him.

"Leave everything up to me." He smirked. He was coy and calm. His eyes were cold as steel. "We need another victim. I'm feeling generous and thinking we should be bold."

"Now? But I need to get back. What if we get caught?"

"Just follow my orders. You're going to give up your promising career for jail. What would your wife and precious daughters think if they knew what you are?" He said with a sneer. He felt a rush, and he needed to kill tonight.

"Sod you. Keep my family out of this."

"I don't think you'll like it up the arse, so keep your gob shut and listen to me."

They moved out of earshot, but the dark figure in the alley had heard enough to have his suspicious confirmed. "Well, I'm buggered." The boy was beside himself with fright. "This isn't good."

"What the blazes are you doing?" He grabbed him by his jacket. "What the hell are you doing here? Are you spying you dirty little scoundrel."

Filled with the knowledge of what he had just heard, and feeling the taste of fear, the boy shivered. "I didn't hear nothing," he said, voice cracked. "You two are sick perverts."

"Is that so Johnny," the other man said. The boy knew something bad was going to happen and he knew he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. "Listen, you shouldn't be listening to people's conversations." He knew the boy from his neighbourhood.

"I…I know you're lying. Let me go and I won't say nothing."

"Is that how it's going to be," The taller man said, his eyes piercing through him with daggers. Startled, he almost let him go, but then he tightened his grip and gave him a shaking. "Blackmail is it? Well, you can go to hell."

"It's not what you think." The boy said, frightened. "I promise I won't say nothing."

There was a moment of silence. The pain exploded in his groin. "You're a liar."

"I'm not. I swear to God." The boy said, pleading.

What he found sickened him to his stomach.

"Have you mentioned anything to Karen about Jim, Nikki?" Gino Rossi said.

It was early morning. They were standing outside of the building, drinking their chocolate mocha and smoking a fag. The weather was fair, but it was early in the day and there was still a slight chill in the air.

"No I haven't," Nikki said with a sneer. "That bastard makes me nauseous. I can't believe that Karen is so blind to the truth. He gives a bad rap to cheating louts in general." DC Jim Fenner was a swindler, he was like a predator, always on the lookout for a quick shag. He even had the audacity to come on to her. She wondered how he managed to keep his nuts intact. She at least had the wits to bang him about, although the thought of Jim shagging Shell Dockley made her skin crawl.

"Oh, c'mon, it isn't all that bad, Nikki." Gina said playfully nudging Nikki's leg.

"If I had known that man was going to be such an arse, then I would've thought twice about helping Helen." She said, a little horrified by the thought. "At least I get the satisfaction watching Helen flay into his manhood." Nikki grinned remembering the last encounter she had with Jim as Helen blasted him for being a useless twit and cocking up the investigation. Helen was brilliant undermining his abilities.

"Well, he does have that certain shady aura about him." She acknowledged. "But then you have wonderful moi."

"Who said that you were wonderful?" Nikki joked. Gina did her best pouting. "All right," Nikki conceded, "Maybe a little."

"I'm taking my boyfriend Mark out to dinner this Friday," Gina said. "And we're going to make fabulous love all evening."

"Fabulous love, eh?" The last time she was fickle with some bloke, she nearly caused the poor man to break into tears. "You mean the precious Mark Waddle, who always looks like he's got his silver spoon lodged up his arse, ain't that macho!" Nikki said in a mocking voice. "You're not a very good judge of character."

"Hey that's not fair." Gina shot back.

"What about Frank Myers, what happened to him?"

Gina just sighed. "Oh, he's so bloody boring. Sure he might be good looking, but he doesn't have any exciting qualities. That man could put a fish to sleep."

"What are you talking about? You're so bloody head perfect." Nikki crossed her arms and shook her head at Gina.

"Well, it's me doing the dating, so I don't see why it should matter to you and besides, the man has no clue how to please a woman sexually." She spat.

"Point taken," Nikki replied. "But you dated, Frank, what, two months."

"I guess. But sexually a let-down." Gina said, wondering how a handsome man like Frank would be so lousy in bed. Maybe she was expecting too much or had high standards.

"Besides," Nikki added, "You told me that he was on his best behaviour and a perfect, gentlemen during your relationship. Just give him another chance you might be missing out on a great opportunity," this despite Nikki's own feelings of ambivalence to dating. "I hear Mark has a wandering eye."

"Sure, Nikki," Gina said finishing off the remainder of her mocha. "You can be my radar detector. Before I date a bloke, you must partake in the decision. This way I can in advance, save myself from future humiliation." She said sarcastically towards Nikki.

"Well, don' come running back clutching the pieces of your life, when Mark infringes on your heart." As they both made their way back into the building. All of a sudden Nikki was being pushed aside by a rather tallish man who looked like her was in a hurry. "Watch where you're going jerk," Nikki said turning around and finding the git named Jim Fenner looking like a man bent on steamrolling anyone who was in his path.

"Not now, Nikki." He said in a hurried voice.

"It's nine-thirty in the morning, for god's sake," Nikki said gnashing her teeth. "What's your bloody rush? Don't you have a crime scene to go to?" She spat. "Bloody arsehole."

"Mind your sodding business, dyke," was his only reply.

The elevator door opened as Jim hastily got in. Gina stood beside Nikki, "What was his problem? Did someone piss in his coffee?"

"How the hell should I know? The man is a boorish buffoon." Nikki said feeling her blood pressure, rise slightly at the mention of his name.

"Why did he tell you to sod off?"

"Maybe Karen finally gave him a good shag with the backside of her boot and he's here to grovel at her feet." Nikki said, grinning. "And, listen, I'd just as soon not give into that bastard. I know you probably think I'm overly exaggerating, but that man strikes my cord in a wrong way. How he can be a Detective Inspector is unempirical.

"Hell, no, he's a real sinker," she said in a jaded voice. Once in the elevator Gina turned to Nikki, "Personal, I think he's having an affair with, you know, the tart, Shell Dockley.

"I think anyone with a brain thinks that." Nikki said, her brow raised. "Of course, Karen is so glib. She needs to remove her rose-coloured glasses."

The elevator door clanked open and Gina and Nikki stepped out into the reception area. Joaquin was at the front desk, heels up and flipping through a Penthouse magazine and laughing with Shell. When he saw them he closed the magazine and put his feet down.

"Is Karen in her office yet?" Nikki asked Shell.

"I don't think so. I haven't seen her yet," she replied.

"Joaquin, ring me when she gets in. I'm supposed to have a meeting with her."

"Fine," He said, sounding uninterested.

Nikki then turned her attention to Joaquin who looked like he was trying to hide his embarrassment from her. "Did you manage to get those files I asked for? I'm expecting them on my desk before noon. And try to be more careful this time. Last time you spilled coffee all over the papers." Nikki said.

"Hey, man, that wasn't my fault." He defended himself, feeling resentment towards Nikki who was always up his arse, giving him orders.

"Did the leprechaun steal the files, Joaquin." Nikki looked over at Gina who was teasing her jokingly.

He folded his magazine, got up slowly, and went to the desk. Joaquin has worked at the hospital a little over a year, but Nikki knew sooner or later that he probably end up being fired. It wasn't something she felt sad about; he was a nice enough bloke. But how he managed to ever become a junior nurse was disturbing to Nikki. He was rather thin on skills. He knew his way around but he had his face so far up Karen's arse she wondered how much crap one person could take.

The door from the stairway then banged open and Yvonne stamped through, wheezing out of breath. "Damn those road rage idiots," she said irritated and out of breath.

"Good morning, Yvonne" Nikki said smiling.

Yvonne looked up to find Nikki standing with her arms crossed and smiling. "Oh, g'day, Nikki," she said. "Damn traffic woes, sometimes I feel like trading my car for a moped."

"Oh, you wouldn't be able to ride one of those things, Yvonne," Nikki giggled. "It might ruin your hair."

"Oi, you outta know," Yvonne laughed. "I might surprise you one day." She said. "Did that bastard come here?"

"Which bastard are you referring to," Nikki laughed. Yvonne laughed at the realisation of what Nikki meant.

"Oh you know, that middle-aged man, who walks around stalking any two pair of legs that's attached to a pair of big bosoms." Yvonne said outraged.

"Ah, you mean Jim Fenner, royal nuisance, thorn on my side, your least favourite slimy git." Nikki said half-heartedly.

Yvonne gave Nikki a disgruntled look, "Yeah, that famous royal shit, who at every opportunity takes full advantage of harassing me, every chance he gets."

"What did he do this time, Yvonne?" Nikki said in a knowing look.

"That bastard almost ran me off the road. Just cause he's riding in with his flashers on doesn't mean he can be a menace to society" she said shaking her head. "I figured he was heading this direction and I swear I could see that bastard Fenner sneering as he passed me." Yvonne said not looking too pleased.

"Well he sure ruffled your feathers this morning, Von." Nikki said feeling apologetic towards Yvonne. "Personally, the man makes my skin feel dirty whenever he's near. It's almost like, he's watching me with depraved eyes," Nikki felt a chill run through her spine. "I hate the fact that I have to see him more often now that I am involved with the murder case."

"Friggin' nutter," Yvonne said, "If he thinks he's got the upper hand, he'd better watch his back. I'll get my Charlie to whack off his knobbly knees. "

"Careful, Yvonne," Nikki replied, "That man ain't worth doing time for in the joint. You'll get much more satisfaction by embarrassing him or getting him canned."

"I suspect you right, Nikki," Yvonne agreed, "I'm going to take pleasure bringing that bastard to his knees one way or another mark my words. One day."

(Back at Nikki's office)

"Can I trust you Nikki?" She said, looking deep into Nikki's soul, as if she knew the terrors that hid behind those brown eyes.

"I can't answer that. Trust is for you to decide." Replied Nikki to her patient.

"The less I tell, the more you see me. I like that. You do like seeing me?"

"I wouldn't be here, Maxine, if it wasn't important."

"That's a cruel answer to my question. Try this one. And I'll know if you're lying. Am I the only person in your life?"

Nikki paused. In truth, there wasn't anyone in her life, except for the growing feelings she was starting to feel for Helen. "I guess you are." Nikki smiled. She had an uncanny report with Maxine, her special patient.

"When was the moment you realised killing was an option?" Nikki asked.

"The first time I hated myself?"

"How did you cope with that feeling?" Nikki said.

"I didn't cope. It overwhelmed me. It was a tidal wave of revulsion. All I saw was lifeless limb and a suspended expression."

"But you killed your entire family. At some point you could've stopped."

"The revulsion was weaker than the urge. Or maybe the urge got stronger. I became out of control. Did things even I was ashamed of."

"Do you feel remorse now?" Nikki questioned looking at Maxine who had a smug look on her face.

"You should know the answer to that question." She replied grinning.

"Do you think you could be reformed? Is that something you want?" Nikki inquired knowing the answer.

"No," she replied. "I don't want to lessen the pain. I am fully aware of my urges and the need to control them."

"Is that okay with you?"

"Yes," she looked down. "That's why I want to help you Nikki."

"So where do I look?" Nikki asked. She knew she could learns things from her patient.

"Where you least expect it. If I hadn't left the clues no one would have found me. I was the person everyone overlooked, except you. I'm only telling you this because I love you and I know you love me too." She said smiling.

Nikki looked intently towards Maxine. Her eyes at times seem so cold, frightening. Her calm demeanour suggested she wasn't afraid to die or had remorse towards the killing act. Yet, at times she could be so childish in her approach. She was after-all, still a teenager when she slaughtered her entire family. Still, Nikki was fascinated with her. Was Maxine borne into a life a violence or did she possess the killing gene in her. She knew that the trust and bond she had with Maxine was dangerous yet insightful. She could gain insight from a killer's mind.

(I'm not an expert on Psychology or Criminology, so I might not be 100% accurate. I just hope everyone who is reading my story is enjoying it as things will start to heat up. Stayed tuned...Chapter 7 should be up very soon. Hope everyone is enjoying my story so far)