The Marauders Book 1 Chapter 5- The Woes and Worries of a Warlock's Hair
"BOO!"
Remus Lupin screamed and flung himself onto the tall, shadowy masked figure that had just jumped out at him as he turned the corner. It was five o'clock in the morning on Halloween and, after a whole night of laughing, talking, jinxing candy corn and preparing jack-o-lanterns, with only about an hour's worth of sleep, Remus had woken up and tried to sneak to the bathroom to shower, carefully creeping over his friends' limbs, hair, and, in James' case, glasses. He hadn't dared taken so much as his tie off in front of his friends, knowing that the scars covering his whole body would attract nothing but questions, as they always had. This was quite different from everyone else in the dormitory, as, just a few days back, James and Sirius had had a raging 'who has the better six pack' competition.
Heart beating a million beats a second, Remus tore at his attacker's face, unable to control the fear that had pierced him. He had been jumpy all week, with the stress of his classes, his monthly cycles, and the fact that hexed candy corns and floating jack-o-lanterns had consumed every second of his spare time.
"Ouch! Ger'off me!" Sirius Black shouted, taking off his mask, terrified. All he had tried to do was pull a Halloween joke on Remus. He'd never expected he'd get lunged at for it. "It's me, Remy, it's Sirius."
Remus lowered his fist and glowered at Sirius. "What was that for?!" He demanded.
Sirius just laughed maniacally. "You excited for today?"
As angry as he was with Sirius for dressing up and scaring him, Remus couldn't help but grin. "Absolutely." He said. "Now get back to sleep." Then, Remus slipped into the bathroom and slid the door shut behind him.
Sirius however, had no intention of going back to sleep just yet. He had eaten extra sugar last night for dessert to prepare himself for the all-nighter of prank preparations, and now, with Remus preoccupied and James and Peter asleep, had no way to burn all that extra energy.
Sirius sat down next to a smallish jack-o-lantern he had decided to name 'Limeo', because he was the smallest of the pumpkins, the size of a lime, and, in Sirius's opinion, everything sounded cooler with an –o at the end. "Hey, Limeo."
The jack-o-lantern fluttered around excitedly, like he now recognized that that was his name. Limeo had half-moon eyes and a wide semicircle smile carved into his smallish face. He was the only one of jack-o-lanterns yet to be given a job. Ever since they carved them weeks ago, the Marauders had set up little stands outside of common rooms, classrooms, and the gates of Hogsmeade, and nearly everyone had placed an order for their significant enemy to receive a special present over the course of Halloween. They had 300 jack-o-lanterns ready to take flight tomorrow morning, and over 5000 pieces of hexed candy corn to be delivered. Of course, being the brilliant procrastinators that they knew they were, the Marauders had waited until the last night to actually figure out what jack-o-lantern would be carrying what candy-corns and where.
Peter had been in charge of finding the perfect pumpkins, Sirius in charge of carving them, James in charge of transforming them into owl-brained type things, and Remus in charge of making them all able to fly. The four of them had worked together to hex the candy corn, which lay scattered across the floor beside the Marauders.
James snored and rolled over in his sleep, dreaming about how explosive tomorrow was going to be, when Sirius caught sight of what he had clutched in his hand. It was a spare piece of candy corn. One, single, unused piece of candy corn. How could they have missed it? Sirius almost felt bad for the thing, to be left out on the Halloween prank. Limeo fluttered around Sirius, looking excitedly at the piece of corn, desperate for a job. He poked James in the eye a few times, but he didn't wake up. Sirius stared at the candy corn with interest. Then at James, whose untidy black hair continued to stick up in every direction known to man. Then back at the candy corn. He grinned.
The next day, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was in a state of constant panic, pranking, and laugh, after laugh, after laugh.
The Marauders decided to unleash their jack-o-lanterns-of-doom once every hour, starting with breakfast at the great hall and ending with a grand finale at the Halloween feast.
At breakfast, Remus, Peter, Sirius and James had to exercise some serious self control to not shout with excitement, look smug with themselves, or snicker into their sausages as a huge flock of jack-o-lanterns came in, fluttering through the windows, zooming through the doors, and even flying down through the ceiling.
The other students (even those who had purchased a deranged jack-o-lantern) looked up in awe and shock. The teachers looked bewildered. Professor Dumbledore looked amused, his blue eyes twinkling down at the Marauders, who tried to hide behind a platter of biscuits.
The jack-o-lanterns were 5 feet in diameter, and, without any warning, started shooting out hexed candy corn to nearly everyone in the school. People hooted and laughed and jeered at their friends. Within seconds, the whole Slytherin table had been thoroughly doused. James snorted with laughter when at least 20 candy corns zoomed towards Severus, dousing him with dye so that when he finally recovered, his hair was a bright, neon pink. Sirius laughed out loud as several of his cousins were sporting colors of red and gold, looking around at each other in disgust. Even Remus, who had been the one cautioning his friends not to go too far with this, couldn't help but grin as the Head Boy and Head Girl started shrieking with disbelief as they looked at their newly-dyed, bright-blue locks.
The rest of the day was just as excitable.
The Marauders had Transfiguration with the Slytherins and Herbology with the Hufflepuffs in the morning, Potions (with Slytherins) and History of Magic (with Ravenclaws) in the afternoon, and flying lessons that day after classes finished. All day, the deranged jack-o-lanterns kept zooming into class, causing quite a disruption and resulting in the extreme joy of students, and the extreme frustration of teachers.
"Now, the formula to turn a porcupine into an ink bottle is- Really now!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed in exasperation as yet another pumpkin flew in and pelted two people with the candy corn, turning Severus Snape's hair from salmon pink to a bright fuschia and Marlene McKinnon's a deep maroon. Marlene grinned and flashed a wink to the back of the class where Sirius sat, but Severus did not find it remotely amusing. Neither, for that matter, did Professor McGonagall.
"Messrs Lupin, Pettigrew, Black, and Potter, you have plenty of free time to prank other students during break. It is entirely inappropriate to do so in class." McGonagall snapped.
James and Sirius exchanged looks of mock horror.
"It's not us, we swear!"
"Solemnly swear!"
"Whoever these amazing pranking geniuses are, we had nothing to do with it!"
"Amazing, incredible, clever, brilliant gen-"
"And handsome. You can't forget handsome."
"And handsome." James agreed. Then, turning back to McGonagall, said "honestly Minnie, the four of us are practically saints. How can you accuse us of something this mischievous?"
Remus snorted, but quickly turned it into a cough.
"You four are without a doubt-" but what the Marauders were exactly, they never figured out, because at that exact moment, another jack-o-lantern swooped in, and flew straight towards Professor McGonagall.
Remus thought it was impossible for the class to get more silent than they were upon seeing the jack-o-lantern enter, but they proved him wrong when the two candy corns landed on McGonagall's head. In that moment, Remus could swear that he could hear his own heartbeat and Slughorn's lecture in the Potions class six floors below them.
Slowly, filled with disbelief, Professor McGonagall summoned a mirror from Sirius's back pocket and looked at her reflection.
Gold.
Her hair was gold with bright red streaks. She had to hand it to those morons, they might be insufferable, but at least they had some pretty strong house pride.
James was the first one to break the silence. "You like it, Minnie?" He asked, his hazel eyes glinting with laughter.
McGonagall had to push her lips together tightly to stop from breaking into a smile. Secretly, she loved it, but she knew that if she let these boys get away with disrupting her class in their first year, they wouldn't let her teach in peace until the day they graduated. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor, Potter," the cheeky grin faded away from James's face. "For interrupting the lesson, twice. And I'll see you four in detention next Friday."
The Marauders groaned.
"Class dismissed. Off you go, except," she gestured to the Marauders, who shuffled sheepishly up to McGonagall's desk.
"You still can't prove it was us." Sirius protested angrily as the last student slammed the door shut behind them.
"Silence, Black." Professor McGonagall snapped. "Now I want to make myself very clear when I say that I do not tolerate disruptions in my class. Transfiguration is a complex form of magic and can easily turn dangerous if you mess around." She sighed, looking at Peter's blank stare, and knew that he, like the rest of the group, were listening to her, but still had no intention of behaving their age any time soon. "Your detentions will take place in my office at 7pm, next Friday."
Remus paled. Next Friday? "Um, Professor," he said in a small voice.
McGonagall glanced sharply at him, then got the hint. "Next, next Friday."
"That's too many nexts. I'm confused." Peter pointed out.
"Professor there's quidditch practice next, next Friday." James complained.
"You're not on the Quidditch team, Potter." McGonagall pointed out.
"Yet."
"He likes to go to the practices anyway and sit in the stands and cheer like a madman." Sirius explained, yawning hugely.
McGonagall sighed. "Fine. Next, next, next Friday-"
"I already have detention then." Sirius pointed out.
"Oh yeah, we got detention with Slughorn for blowing up Sniv- Snape's cauldron." James agreed, nodding. "He did it that late because we're supposed to wait for more horned newts."
McGonagall shook her head in resignation. "Alright, fine, consider your detention canceled." She caught sight of her reflection in Black's mirror again. That red in gold really suited her. "But as alternative punishment, I'm confiscating the mirror."
Sirius shrugged. He had loads back in the common room.
Professor McGonagall paused for a second, then asked, trying to sound as offhand as possible, "who picked out this particular color scheme?"
The other three turned to Remus, who raised both his hand and his eyebrow.
McGonagall nodded. "Take fifty points, Mr. Lupin, for- er- amazing use of the coloring charm. You are free to go."
Grinning, the Marauders walked back out of the classroom and immediately high-fived the second they were outside.
Professor McGonagall glanced at herself again in the mirror. She had to admit, she was quite a fan these new colors. She smiled to herself, silently wishing that the Marauders had thought of a spell to make the dye un-washable, so she could have an excuse to wear it at least until the next Quidditch match.
The Marauders rushed out to the greenhouse for Herbology, which they had with Hufflepuffs. Professor Sprout eyed them suspiciously as they entered the classroom (as the four of them were one of the few with un-dyed hair), but they simply grinned cheekily and waved to her.
It was the 1st years' final day to work on Puffapods, and Professor Sprout was determined for it to be a calm, relaxing one. The Marauders' Halloween Prank, however, had other ideas.
Ten minutes in, the first jack-o-lantern came in, and a Hufflepuff girl named Michelle Abbott got navy blue hair. Professor Sprout sighed and chuckled a bit as Michelle laughed and playfully tossed a handful of dirt at the Marauders; it could be worse.
Twenty minutes in, the second jack-o-lantern zoomed through the door, and Mary MacDonald's blonde pigtails became bright purple. Professor Sprout just carried on, ignoring the Marauder's giggles; it still could be worse.
Thirty minutes in, the third jack-o-lantern rushed up under Peter's legs as he carried a box of fifty-or-so Puffapods. Things seemed to move in slow motion as Peter slipped on the jack-o-lantern, lost his footing, and dropped the box of Puffapods. They fell to the ground on top of the pile of hexed candy corn the jack-o-lantern had dropped, and the result was tremendous.
The combined efforts of the Puffapods exploding into growth and the stored magical energy of the hexed candies caused the whole greenhouse to be splattered with an explosion of color.
A few seconds passed of complete, frozen silence, until Sirius finally broke it. "That. Was. Awesome." He breathed.
James cracked up with laughter. "Well done Peter!" He shouted, admiring his new rainbow robe and flecked-with-gold glasses.
Professor Sprout couldn't help but join in with the laughter as she repotted the Puffapods with a wave of her wand.
"Alright, let's try to not get Slughorn mad at us today." Remus said, slightly breathless with laughter as the Marauders climbed down the rickety staircase to potions after a thoroughly amusing lunch break.
"Aww, but Remy, we've already picked out a fabulous shade of orange and black polka dots for Professor Slughorn's receding hairline!" Sirius complained.
Remus shook his head, but had to admit that their plans for potions today were pretty fabulous.
They entered the classroom and sat down at their usual table, too busy trembling with excitement to even take out their collapsible cauldrons.
They weren't the only ones. The whole class was chatting amiably, eager to see what the jack-o-lanterns would bring this class. Well, everyone except Severus Snape.
Severus sat in the front of the class, next to Lily, as usual, but his shoulders were slumped and he seemed to be purposefully avoiding the Marauders' eyes, his Mexican Pink hair glittering in the dimly lit potions classroom (because the Marauders had been sure to add extra sparkles to that one). Lily had her hand on his shoulder and seemed to be comforting him about something. James's eyes narrowed and he was about to shout in protest or draw Lily's attention back to him or do something else incredibly stupid, when Professor Slughorn waddled into the room.
"Good afternoon class," he greeted, his eyes lingering a bit on Severus's pink hair and the ends of his mouth twitching. "Today we will have a special Halloween contest: cure of the boils. Whoever brews the most accurate potion first will win an invitation to my Slug Club Christmas Party in a few months. Good lu-"
Suddenly, (although no one was truly shocked by it,) a jack-o-lantern swooped in and one piece of candy corn shot out of his nose-hole. Slughorn's hair was now bright orange with black polka-dots. The class went silent (because no matter how many times you see a teacher get their hair color changed by hexed candy corn from a jack-o-lantern a day, it somehow still always has the power to shock), but when Slughorn simply laughed good-naturedly, his big stomach jiggling up and down as he did so, they continued on with their potion-brewing.
Remus looked around at his fellow Gryffindor boys and cleared his throat. "Alright, Sirius, so first we need to crush six porcupine quills with a pestle." He glanced over to the handsome, dark-haired boy. "Can I have the quills?"
Sirius held up the cauldron in which he had already been mixing the whole box of quills and a handful of frog fingers. "I think there's about twelve in here. But it's sorta hard to know for sure because, well," he gestured to the cauldron, which was now smoking.
Remus groaned.
"Just take a spoonful or something. What's the worst that can happen?" James recommended, but he wasn't even looking at his friends as he said it. Instead, his eyes were glued on Lily and Severus, who were exchanging potions notes and peering over their cauldrons excitedly. "This is ridiculous."
"Alright, well now I need the snake fangs."
"Got'cha on that one, mate." Sirius handed Remus a jar full of what looked like burnt French fries. Neon yellow burnt French fries.
"Sirius. What-" Remus started, staring at the jar in a sort of resigned disbelief.
"Oh yeah, I sorta kinda already mixed them with dittany, and banged it against the desk a few times." Sirius admitted. "But I don't think that'll matter too much right?"
Remus carefully poured the jar into their potion, which turned from an unpleasant green to a very unpleasant brown, and then started crackling like popcorn in a microwave. "No, Sirius, I don't think it'll matter too much at all…" He muttered sarcastically, checking the next set of instructions in the tattered potions book.
"Now we need to let it stew for- Sirius, NO!" Remus shouted, smacking Sirius's hand (which had been holding a vial of cockroach intestines, alight with blue flames) away from the cauldron. "James, can you do me a favor and restrain your best friend before he kills us all?!"
James waved Remus off impatiently, hardly even noticing the fact that their cauldron was smoking and giving off the nauseating smell of year-old-goat-cheese. "What are they even talking about? I mean, she's already the best at potions, what does she need him for? And why hasn't she switched seats with someone else yet? Don't you think it's high time Evans sat next to someone else? Like me?"
Sirius stared at James for a long time. "You have a problem, mate."
"I do not have a problem!" James retorted, offended. "I just want to know why she isn't over here right now talking to me if she has a crush on me. I mean, it's clear that she likes me. Why hasn't she just come out with it yet? If everyone else already knows how she feels about me, why's she still playing hard to-" He caught Sirius's eye and cleared his throat. "Hey, look, another jack-o-lantern!"
James wasn't expecting to be right (he had just done that as a way to change the subject and get Sirius to stop looking at him like that) but miraculously enough, he was.
Three more jack-o-lanterns came swinging in through the door: one for Avery (bright red), one for Mulciber (bright gold) and yet another one for Severus (sparkly magenta).
Now, by now, Severus had had quite enough of the Marauders. He had put up with their insanity and pranks and constant bullying for two months now, and this Halloween prank had really just been the cherry on top of a very rotten sundae. In just eight hours today, his unwashed, greasy hair had gone through 728 different shades of pink. And in that moment, with the candy corn pellet rushing towards him, the only thing on Severus's mind was pure, bitter determination not to make it to 729. He ducked and somehow managed to avoid the flying candy, which landed instead with a plop into the potion he'd been brewing.
For a second, everything seemed to be alright. Then his cauldron started shaking.
Severus exchanged one wide-eyed look with Lily before frantically trying to get the potion back under control, but it was no use. After about five seconds of sizzling and sputtering and sugar-overload, the potion exploded all over Severus and boils started popping up all over his body.
James couldn't help himself. He tried. He really did. He tried biting his lip. He tried holding his breath. He tried clutching the table so hard all ten of his knuckles cracked, but it was no use. He collapsed onto the floor, roaring with laughter.
Within seconds, Sirius was right beside him, trying to catch his breath and clutching his side, laughing uncontrollably.
Peter too started giggling excitedly, and Remus put a hand up to his mouth to conceal a smile. He didn't support James and Sirius's bullying of Snape, but he had to admit, that was pretty funny.
With the four Marauders already tearing up with laughter, it didn't take long for the rest of the Gryffindors to join in as well, soon accompanied even by several Slytherins.
"Really now! It wasn't even that funny!" Slughorn complained loudly, but the ends of his mouth were twitching again. It seemed as though the only people who weren't either laughing without restraint or restraining their laughter, were Severus and Lily.
She helped him kindly to his feet and quickly handed him a cup of some of her (almost-perfect) cure for boils potion, which seemed to help, at least on his face a bit. "It's alright, Sev. We're going to the hospital wing." She assured.
Lily looked expectantly at Professor Slughorn, who nodded for them to go ahead, his several chins starting to tremble with the tension of trying not to laugh.
Once Lily and Severus were safely out of the potions classroom and out of earshot, Slughorn too exploded with laughter. "I… know… I… shouldn't… laugh…" he gasped between chuckles. "Such… a… good… student…" He paused for a minute, struggling (quite unsuccessfully) to catch his breath. "But did you see his- his face?!" The class roared with laughter once more, and Slughorn had to cling to his desk for support as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Twenty points to whoever did that! Class dismissed!" He exclaimed. "Oh, and Potter, would you do me a favor and inform Miss Evans that she is invited to the Slug Club Christmas Party? Excellent cure for the boils potion! Excellent! Ten points to Gryffindor!"
James grinned, something that was starting to become such a regular habit today that his cheekbones were starting to hurt.
The Marauders' next class was History of Magic, but James, being a man of his word, decided to skip it and go find Lily to tell her what Slughorn told him instead. Sirius and Peter tried every tactic they could to persuade Remus to let them all go with James, but in the end, when Remus told Sirius he was seconds away from lighting his hair products on fire, Sirius and Peter agreed to back down and go to class. ("Just this once though…")
And so it was that James Potter went skipping down the stairs towards the hospital wing, with daydreams of Lily Evans swimming through his mind.
It just so happened however that James didn't even have to go down to the hospital wing to see Lily (and Severus), as he nearly ran her over down the next corridor.
"Potter?! What are you-?!"
"Evans! Brilliant! Listen, I want your honest opinion: how's the prank going thus far?" He asked excitedly.
"You mean you're the one behind all this?" Lily demanded, outraged.
James winked. "But of course."
"Potter, I swear, you are without a doubt the most intolerable boy I've ever met."
James rolled his eyes. "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do."
"No you don't."
"Yes, Potter, I do."
"Aw c'mon Evans. Are you mad because it hurt?"
Lily stared at James for several seconds. "Because what hurt exactly?"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"No, but did it hurt when you came crawling up from hell?"
James laughed. "Good one." Then, his eyes fell on to the person standing beside Lily. "Snivellus stop being so rude. Can't you tell Evans and I are trying to have an intelligent conversation here? Your greasiness is not assisting my smoothness, so I think you'd better get lost."
Severus's eyes narrowed. His boils were gone now, Madam Pomfrey had healed them almost instantly, but he still looked positively murderous. "No. As a matter of fact, Potter, I was talking to Lily first."
James gave Severus the stink eye, looking absolutely affronted. "I'm James Potter." He said simply, like those three words were the response, comeback, and answer to everything.
"And?" Severus said after a while.
"And I'm twenty times better than you, so I think I automatically win this, thank-you-very-much."
The two boys glared at each other for a few minutes, before James, who had quite frankly had enough of this guy for one day, pushed him back a little and said "shoo."
"Do you honestly think I'm just going to leave?"
"Are you implying that you're not?"
Severus's hand tightened around his wand. "Do you think I'm a coward?"
"I think you're a Slytherin." James said, his hand reaching into his robes. "Same thing basically."
"Potter I swear if you say one more word to me-"
"I'm not trying to talk to you! I'm trying to talk to Evans! It's not my fault you're getting in my way. Talk to you of my own free will, yeah right."
"I'm getting in your way?!" Severus snarled. His hand tightened around his wand. He was ready to duel, he was ready to duel, he was so ready to duel and get back at James Potter. "You're always the one trying to make a fool of me! Why don't you just leave Lily and I alone?!"
"Why don't you just stay away from Evans?" James shot back, seething with rage. He disliked this 'Snivellus' guy from day one, and every day since that dislike had only gone stronger and stronger. "Stop pretending like you have a chance with her and back down before you-"
"You can take that 'chance' of yours and shove it up your-"
Where exactly James could shove his chance however, he never found out, because at that moment, Peeves swooped in from seven flights up and started chucking spitballs at the two of them. "Students missing class!" He yelled. "Students missing class and fighting in the corridors!"
James and Severus swore loudly and dived in opposite directions to avoid the next thing Peeves decided to throw at them: a whole blackboard from one of the teacher's walls, when James caught sight of who tipped Peeves off that they were there.
Lily Evans stood at the foot of the stairs, her arms crossed, her hair flaming, and her eyes ablaze with fury at the two of them, but mostly (James noticed with a jolt of confusion) at him.
"Come on Sev, let's just get out of here and get to class."
Severus crawled up and went to follow Lily, sending James one final angry glare before disappearing down another staircase.
It took a few seconds for James to acknowledge what had just happened. He had just gone over to Lily Evans, had a conversation with her, started fighting with Severus (at some point during which, Lily must've gotten fed up with their argument and went to get Peeves), and was on the verge of winning when Peeves interrupted and now, somehow, Severus was back with Lily like he hadn't interrupted at all.
James shook it off and sprinted down the stairs after them.
"You're going to class?" He asked, with a raised eyebrow and a grin. "Gryffindors are in History of Magic." He looked at Lily expectantly. After staring at James for a full second, Lily realized what he was talking about. She was going the wrong way.
"See you after dinner, Sev." Lily said, with a sad smile on her face, and went up the stairs, punching James in the gut as she passed him. "Get back to class and leave him alone." She muttered through clenched teeth.
"Will do." Said James cheerfully, but once Lily's back was turned, he mouthed "HA!" to Severus and dodged the bat-bogey hex sent straight to his face. "Evans, wait up!" He shouted, crashing up the stairs behind her.
"Get lost Potter." Lily groaned.
"But I need help." James whined.
Lily sighed and turned to face him. "Yes, Potter?" She asked, clearly wishing more than anything for him to just leave them alone and get back to class.
James took off his glasses and examined them skeptically. "I think there's something wrong with my eyes." He explained. "I can't take them off of you!"
"I'm having a problem with mine too." Lily said. James wasn't sure whether to be excited or worried by this comment. "Because I just can't see you getting anywhere with me."
James blinked. "Dang. Good one." He admitted. "Although I gotta say, you look familiar." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, you really look like my next girlfriend."
Lily snorted. "Really? I think I recognize you from somewhere too. Aren't you that prat that I'm about to turn down for the fifth time today?"
"Yeah, well-" Before James could think of yet another corny pick-up line, the staircase they stood on began to move.
Lily and James grasped the railings desperately as the staircase swooped around to face the other corridor. They clambered off, bewildered, and entirely lost.
"You know, it's kinda ridiculous that we're expected to get to class on time when the staircases deliberately make everyone late."
"Completely ludicrous." Lily agreed halfheartedly, her eyes scanning the floors above them, trying to figure out where they were and how they were to get back to History of Magic.
"I think we should just skip."
"I think you should skip too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Skip yourself right up to the Astronomy tower and pitch yourself off." Lily sniffed. "I on the other hand and going back to class."
Flying lessons were certainly interesting that day. Remus and Sirius had charmed the pumpkins to fly around the pitch like Bludgers, and James successfully dodged each and every one of them, earning a cheer from the rest of the Gryffindors each time he had a particularly close swerve and doubling Snape's bad mood.
At the end of the lesson, James dived down and (avoiding another pumpkin-bludger) landed right beside Madam Hooch. "Are you sure I can't join the Quidditch team?" He pleaded.
"YES, Mr. Potter, I am sure." She shook her head, but James could see she was smiling. James ducked to allow a jack-o-lantern to shoot a candy corn at Madam Hooch, turning her hair bright purple. "And this," she gestured to her grape-colored head. "Is not helping your case."
The Marauders were positively shaking with excitement as they sat down for the Halloween Feast in the Great Hall. They had prepared a spectacular spectacle for the final few hours of Hallows Eve. "You guys ready for this?" James's face was alight with excitement.
"But of course." Sirius smirked.
"Ready-jelly," Peter agreed, as he poured gravy on his turkey.
Remus grinned and glanced around the Great Hall. More than half of the people had bright, colorful, Halloween-ed hair. Professor Leam of the Defense Against the Dark Arts department, an old, wrinkled man who looked as though he had recently been pickled, had a black and red Mohawk. Madam Pince's hair had turned pastel periwinkle, and she did not look too happy about it. Lily Evans was one of the few who had been seemingly untouched. Sitting next to maroon-haired Marlene McKinnon and purple-pigtailed Mary MacDonald, Lily looked quite frustrated with the Gryffindor boys, but her hair remained its deep, dark red. Severus Snape on the other hand, had suffered fifteen more attacks since his staircase fight with James, and was now sitting anxiously on the edge of his seat, as though steeling himself for the next shower of pink that was sure to come.
"That arrogant git Potter won't let anyone get off this easily…" He thought to himself bitterly, gazing up at the ceiling suspiciously. "There's bound to be some grand finale."
He was right.
All at once, the 300 jack-o-lanterns zoomed in. They pelted people left and right with candy corn color-bombs. Some students screamed and tried to duck for cover under the long tables. Others laughed as their hair was splashed with crazy reds and golds, oranges and blacks, pinks and purples, and every color in between (except green and silver, of course).
Peter, caught up in the excitement, opened his mouth wide to try and catch one and ended up burping a huge cloud of color. Sirius and James roared with laughter as Peter grinned apologetically and Remus waved the smelly and rainbow fog away, smiling.
Lucius swatted angrily at a candy corn headed in his direction, and, seconds later, gasped in horror as it hit his girlfriend, Narcissa's face instead, making it bright strawberry red. James snorted with laughter back at the Gryffindor table and Sirius shot his future cousin-in-law a devilish grin. Bellatrix, whose hair was a tangled mess of Sirius-formulated, colorful revenge, stood up on the table and threw a whole bowl of mashed potatoes into Sirius's face. "You blood-traitor bastard!" She screamed.
James saw the look of shock and hurt in his best mate's eyes, even before the plate reached him, and decided right then and there, that this girl, who thought she could get away with hurting his best friend, was going down.
"FOOD FIGHT!" James yelled.
And then, all hell broke loose.
Food flew through the air alongside the candy and jack-o-lanterns. Students chucked turkey legs, mince pies, and peppermint humbugs at each other. Handfuls of pudding and entire sweet potatoes soared across tables. James wasted no time in scooping up some whipped cream and slamming it into Sirius's face, and Sirius wasted no time after that in pouring an entire bottle of butterbeer onto James's head. Peter enjoyed himself quite a bit by trying to catch any food that was thrown at him with his mouth, and Remus surprisingly got off easy, or so he thought, before Sirius hit him in the face with a stalk of cauliflower. Everyone was so overwhelmed by the hilarity and chaos of the moment that noone noticed a small jack-o-lantern the size of a lime flutter through with one final piece of hexed candy corn.
Before James even knew what was happening, he felt something wet and sticky wash over his head. Sirius laughed devilishly as a shocked James wrenched a mirror out of his hand. His hair was now the most insane multicolored mess he had ever seen in his life.
"I look like a rainbow's barf bag!" James shouted, causing his friends to laugh even louder. He shrugged, playfully splattering them with blueberries.
"Now the color fits the style though mate." Sirius grinned, his eyes glinting with laughter.
James roared with laughter as he shoved a piece of cake into his friend's face.
Remus glanced up at Dumbledore nervously, but his brilliant blue eyes only twinkled with laughter behind his spectacles. After a few minutes of fantastic, food-throwing fun however, the headmaster (prodded quite a bit by McGonagall beforehand) stood up.
"Alright." He addressed the great hall in a very amused voice. "It has been a very eventful Halloween. I think we are all aware that there are some new pranksters our school has received this year." His eyes twinkled over at the Marauders, who pretended not to know what on earth their headmaster was talking about. "However, as fun as this day has been, it is now time for bed, I think you will all join me in wishing whoever brought this magic of laughter upon us, H-"
Before Dumbledore could finish however, one final jack-o-lantern swooped in. Every Hogwarts student watched in awe as it soared between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables straight to the big table where the staff sat. Releasing the final candy corn of the night, the Marauders had certainly saved the best for last.
In less than a heartbeat, Dumbledore's long silvery hair and beard had turned a bright, neon blue with gold stars.
A few seconds of silence suffocated the Great Hall, before Dumbledore laughed in delight and called out "Happy Halloween!" As the students filed out, he examined his new bright beard, grinning. "Look at how the stars glimmer when I move my head like this, Minerva." He pointed out, laughing, his blue eyes twinkling as his gaze followed the Marauders out of the Hall.
"That. Was. Awesome!" Sirius yelled the second the door to the Marauders' dormitory closed. "I mean did you see that?! Dumbledore totally loved his beard!"
"Severus's 750 shades of pink though…" James snorted, pulling on his pajamas.
"And the best of all," Remus added, grinning. "Is that the paint won't wash out even with magic for another two weeks."
Chatting excitedly, the Marauders pulled themselves into bed and within five minutes, all of them had fallen into a deep sleep. Well, all of them, except James.
James had brushed off the whole 'rainbow barf bag' candy-corn prank Sirius had pulled on him as irrelevant and something easily forgotten, but after the sounds of everyone's snores filled the dormitory, he began a very hairy prank of his own.
Chuckling silently to himself, James made his way through the maze of clothes and candy wrappers and discarded joke shop items to Sirius's bed. He pulled out his wand, and, remembering the hexes they had used on the candy corn earlier, tapped Sirius's hair, before crawling back to his own bed, and falling asleep.
The Marauders were awoken at 5am the next morning by a very loud and incessant shrieking. Remus fumbled over his blankets in a desperate attempt to get up, fearing the worst. Peter tripped over his sheets and landed on his face, crawling to Sirius with terror written all over his face. James, knowing what his best friend was screaming about this time, lounged on his bed and looked around, pretending to look mildly confused.
"MY HAIR IS ORANGE!" Sirius shrieked, throwing another one of his handheld mirrors across the room so that it shattered. "IT'S ORANGE!"
Remus felt his jaw drop in disbelief. Sirius's hair was orange. Very orange. Very bright blinding neon orange. It didn't look remotely flattering. He put his head in his hand and shook it back and forth very slowly, knowing what was coming before it came. Sirius Orion Black was the biggest drama queen Hogwarts had ever seen, and hair was without a doubt the thing Sirius could get most dramatic about.
"MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, POSITIVELY GORGEOUS HAIR HAS BEEN TAINTED BY AN ORANGE DEMON!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "I CANNOT POSSIBLY HOPE TO GO ON!" Sirius rolled off his bed and collapsed onto the floor. "THIS IS THE END OF ME, DEAR FRIENDS, THE END. I WILL NOT LIVE WITH THIS AWFUL OF HAIR, IT IS TOO HUMILIATING. IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I STAND FOR! IT IS NOT GORGEOUS, LIKE ME! MY HAIR IS NO LONGER A PART OF ME. I CANNOT HOPE TO CARRY ON." He sobbed. "BURY ME HERE. I WANT MY GHOST TO FOREVER HAUNT THESE HALLS AND SING MY SAD SONG OF TACKY, LUDICROUSLY TACKY ORANGE HAIR!"
Now, James was finding all this to be very amusing, and wouldn't've minded if it had continued for quite a while longer, but unfortunately he felt his mouth opening before he could close it. "Hey, look at the bright side, at least now the color matches the style."
Sirius flipped out, leaped onto James's bed and whipped out his wand. "James Fleamont Potter" he said through gritted teeth. "Thou hath insulted my pride. Thou hath insulted my honor. Thou hath insulted my hair. Therefore I hereby challenge thou to a prank war of epic proportions."
James grinned, a gesture that was immediately returned by Sirius.
"You're on."