Author's Notes: This is an idea I've been sitting on for years, and now I've finally gotten around to sharing it. I thought about writing its own separate fic, but then it technically is about Hellsing children interacting, and the subject matter definitely fits the "Caution: Children at Play" theme, so I decided to just post it here. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hellsing Organization or Pleasure Island, or the intellectual properties they come from.
Seras never got along well with Pip Bernadotte. He was a sweet, clever, handsome boy that was rather popular with the girls and mothers in town. Seras was a mean, dim, rather homely girl that was too much of a tomboy to get along with other girls, but too much of a girl to get along with the boys. As such, she would glare and insult at him every opportunity, and he in turn grew to tease her every chance he got.
They each lived in a small farming village in rural England, the children all attended the one-room schoolhouse on the outskirts of town. Seras was almost universally hated for being so mean and stupid, and getting poor marks and school, while Pip was teased for being sensitive and a foreigner. His relative popularity with the girls and teacher, who thought he was cute and clever, earned him even more ridicule from the rough-and-tumble farm boys. However, they hated Seras more than him, so he soon learned to gain their approval by insulting her right back. He soon began running with the
The more he ran with the urchins, the more Seras lashed out at him. The more she lashed out at him, the more he ridiculed her. Pip often teased her from a distance and then ran when she tried to chase him, and still laugh when she couldn't catch him. It was not an altogether uncommon sight to see the little red-headed boy running through the town square while the mess of blonde hair ran after him, screaming, "PIP VERNADEAD! GET BACK HERE!"
To this, most of the adults would smile and shake their heads, and some would say, "We shall expect a wedding in less than a decade!"
They might have gone on hating each other forever had a card shark not arrived in town. He showed up in the middle of the day specifically to pick up the types of boys who shirk their duties in the field and play hooky from school. Of course, girls were never targets. Society was much stricter on girls than boys, as they were allowed only to go straight to and from school when they weren't doing chores in the home. Pip was naturally under no such supervision (as he was an orphaned boy raised by his retired grandparents) and so he was one of the boys the card shark wooed with his card tricks and promises of a fun and easy life.
Seras Victoria was perturbed by his increasing absences. She looked forward to going to school just so she could torment him, so was always disappointed when he didn't show up. Being a girl expected to work like a slave on her distant relatives' farm, she would have to wait till next school day to bully him. She took his absences as a personal insult to her, since she couldn't seek him outside school hours, and vowed to get even with him next time she saw him.
As she was walking straight home from school, pondering how she would make him pay next time she saw him, she spotted a stranger talking to a large group of boys. Her keen "police girl" eyes immediately honed in on the sinister appearance of the stranger, and the dumb boys who would fall for his tricks. She might have kept walking if she didn't see Pip in the crowd.
As she made her way closer to them, she heard one of the boys say, "So, you're saying if we meet at the right place, we can go to the Land of Fun and Play?"
"That's right, young man," the card shark said, "All you need do is show up to the crossroads at midnight, and eternal fun and joy will be yours."
"Oh boy! That's the stuff, eh, Pip?"
Seras glared at the boy who nudged his shoulder.
"What the heck are you doing?!"
All eyes turned to look at her. The card shark was a tall, swarthy dandy man in a white suit. He had a pencil-thin mustache, a cigarette clenched between his teeth, and a pack of cards in his hand. He easily stood out as being much cleaner and classier than the dirt-caked and scab-scraped farmers' sons... yet, at the same time, he seemed much scuzzier and slimier. When he saw Seras, he made a gallant bow, and tried to give her a charming greeting.
"Ah, it seems I am in the presence of a charming young lady," he said with a gallant bow. "Greetings, young lady, my name is Tubalcain Alhambra, though my friends call me 'The Dandy Man.'"
Before Seras could respond, one of the boys cried, "Aw, come on Dandy, you don't have to waste good manners on her!"
"Yeah, it's just Seras."
"She's just a girl."
"Oh, go fall in a ditch somewhere!" Seras retorted.
The Dandy Man chuckled and straightened. He tried turning up the charm for her, but Seras wouldn't have any of it.
"Unless you want me to call the police," she interrupted, "you better take your cards and get out of here right now!"
The Dandy Man's eye twitched, but then he shrugged and prepared to go. The boys protested his leaving, until he made an Ace card appear seemingly out of nowhere, and flicked it toward them. They watched it float toward them with near reverence, and Pip was the one that caught it.
"Remember, boys, the coach departs at midnight," the dandy man said as he departed, one hand lowing his hat over his eyes and the other twirling his cane as he walked.
The boys watch him go with open admiration.
"What was that all about?" Seras demanded.
Some of the boys complained about Seras scaring him off, while others bragged about what they got that she didn't.
"He's invited us to go to Pleasure Island!"
"Yeah, but you can't go because you're a girl!"
"Like I'd want to!" Seras snapped, and then rounded on Pip, "You aren't thinking of going, are you?"
Pip clutched the Ace to his chest almost guiltily. Before he could respond, though, the other boys piped up that it wasn't her business, Pip could go if he wanted to, and, "Of course he'll go with us!"
"I don't care about any of you!" Seras snapped, then she turned to Pip, "You know it's a trick, right?"
At the other boys' urging, he responded, "What if it isn't?"
"Please, you can't be that stupid!"
"Sh-shut your pie-hole!" he snapped.
"Pip, it's obviously a trick!" Seras cried, "Anyone can see it a mile away!"
"You're just saying that because you're jealous you can't go!"
"Like I'd want to! It's obviously a scam and you know it!"
"And what if it isn't?" Pip challenged, "What if it's every bit as good as it sounds?"
"Pip, it never is!" Seras said, "I know because me da was a police officer and he told me so."
"Oh, here we go," one of the boys scoffed.
Everyone knew Seras' da was a police officer because she never shut up about it. Apart from threatening to beat people up, it was all she ever talked about.
"Your da told you about Pleasure Island?"
"No, but he said never trust a stranger offering you anything for free."
"Well, what if this is different? What if he really is giving us something good?"
"Pip, trust me, they never do," Seras said again, "Me da always said if something seems too good to be true, it is. One way or another, you always pay."
"Yeah, well, he must have known all about that since he paid when he had you!"
Seras' eyes widened, and then she glared.
In the middle of town, two women were hanging their laundry on their front porch. They each wore bonnets and aprons, and had their sleeves rolled up to hang their wet laundry. They gossiped about random things, when they suddenly heard a young girl screeching: "PIP VERNADEAD, GET BACK HERE!" followed by the blurred sight of a young red-headed boy being chased by the snarling figure of a messy, blonde-haired girl. He darted right past them while she followed close behind, then they flew out of sight.
The two women shook their heads, then looked at each other, and giggled.
"We shall hear wedding bells in less than a decade!"
Their laughter ended with a crash from a nearby alleyway.
Several minutes later, Seras strutted out of the alley, dusting her hands proudly. She was covered with dust, and her hands with cuts and bruises. He had thought he could lose her down the alley, but ran straight into all the spare wood people had left in there. Of course, Seras easily caught up with him and beat the snot out of him. Now he would think twice before going to that scam!
Just then, Seras noticed two shadowy figures in another dark alley. They were both men. One of them was tall and thin, while the other was short and fat. They both wore light suits. Seras didn't get a good look at the short one, but recognized the tall one as the Dandy Man!
Neither of them seemed to notice her, so she slunk behind a barrel and listened in.
"So, I understand you found another shipment for Pleasure Island?" the fat man said.
"That is correct, Herr Major," the Dandy Man replied in an oily tone.
"Excellent! There are always enough stupid little boys to fill a coach in every town."
The two continued to talk in hushed tones until they disappeared in the shadows of the alleyway.
Seras stood frozen for a long time. A new shipment for Pleasure Island? Stupid little boys? That didn't sound good. Seras didn't know what they were talking about, but it sounded sinister. She couldn't help but think they had something evil in store for the stupid little boys going to Pleasure Island. Seras thought about warning them, but then remembered how mean they'd been to her when she tried to warn them how dangerous it was. If they didn't want to listen to her, it was their own fault.
Seras nodded and kept walking. She then paused when she thought of Pip Bernadotte.
Should she tell him? He was much cleverer than the other boys. Perhaps he might listen to reason? But then Seras remembered how he had dismissed her warnings too, and how mean he had been by insulting her da. She told him it was a bad idea, and he wanted to do it anyway. If he went along, well, it was his own fault.
Seras nodded emphatically, and kept walking.
Ten minutes to midnight found her throwing pebbles at his bedroom window, determined to warn him quickly so she could get back to sleep. When his grandpa stuck his head out the window instead, she demanded to know where he was.
"Oh, he's out causing mischief with his friends at the crossroads."
"... You let him out alone?!" she finally screeched.
"Eh, he would have snuck out even if I forbade him," his grandfather shrugged, "At least this way, he knows where to turn if he gets in trouble."
Seras was beside herself. No one ever let her or the other girls go out alone! They had to stay in to stay out of trouble and yet the boys were constantly getting into trouble. The grown ups knew it and yet they didn't even try to stop them?! Just let them go out, make mischief, cause trouble and then welcome them back with a pot pie while the girls had to slave in the kitchen all day to make it?!
"Well, now he's sure to get in trouble since you let him out!" Seras screeched, and darted off into the night.
The coach was ready to depart when she finally made it to the crossroads outside of town. The coach driver suddenly halted the speed-gathering ponies, and the other boys asked impatiently if she was coming along or not? Seras was confused for a second, until she realized she was wearing her farming overalls and boots. She had kicked out of bed so impatiently that she'd just grabbed the nearest clothes within reach, which happened to be the work clothes she wore when her relatives made her work in the field. With short messy blond hair, a loose shirt, baggy overalls and muddy boots, Seras realized she looked just like a boy. In the dark, no one recognized her ether.
"Hey kid, you getting in or not?" they called impatiently.
Seras grimaced. She wanted just quickly warn Pip and go home, but she couldn't find him or think he could hear her in the crowd of loud, obnoxious boys. Since the coach was itching to leave and the ponies rearing to take off again, Seras decided to just hop on, warn Pip on the way, and then ask the coachman to take her back after they arrived. That seemed reasonable enough.
Unfortunately, the coach was so full that there was only enough room for Seras to ride in front with the coachman, which she did sulkily. He was a very fat man wearing a thick red coat and spectacles, with large chubby cheeks and a creepy smile. He held the reigns with a tight grip and whipped the animals far more often than necessary. Seras told him to stop doing it several times, but he ignored her. After looking at them closer, Seras realized they weren't ponies at all, but donkeys.
Donkeys? Pulling a coach? That was strange. Seras had seen donkeys pull small carts, but never huge carriages. Poor things seemed so small and strained.
The boy next to her amused himself by pelting them with his slingshot. Being a young girl, she scowled and crossed her arms over her legs when she noticed how handsome he was. He had long wavy black hair, pale white skin, and deep blue eyes. However, his sadistic mirth in tormenting the animals angered her to her core. She felt her blood boil and her stomach churn, until she finally ordered him to stop. He ignored her command, however, and instead flicked a lock of hair out of his eyes.
"My name's Vlad," he said, "What's yours?"
"... None of your business," she growled.
"Ever been to Pleasure Island?" he asked.
Seras was insulted. "I should say not!"
As if she would be stupid enough to fall for an obvious scam like some stupid boys.
"Me neither, but they say it's a grand place!" he continued, "No school, no cops, no parents. You can do whatever you want, and nobody says a word!"
"Well, me da was a cop and he told me…"
"Loafing around," he continued, "plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and it's all free!"
"Well, me da told me…"
"Heh, that's the place!" he interrupted, elbowing her enthusiastically; "I can hardly wait!"
So saying, he used his slingshot to pelt the donkeys.
Seras got so fed up she punched him in the nose.
He snarled and tried to claw at her face, then she in turn scratched at his eyes and yanked fistfuls of his hair. The rest of the ride was naturally unpleasant, as the children had to sit on either side of the coachman to keep from pounding the snot out of each other. Of course the two kept trying to fight each other from around him, which was naturally very difficult to do since he was so thick. At one point, he had to smack their hands to keep them from trying to reach around him.
Eventually, the coach arrived at a small dock, where a small boat already filled with kids awaited them. The boy forgot about Seras in his enthusiasm to get on the boat, and Seras forgot him in her impatience to find Pip. She planned to wait by the entrance till she saw Pip, give him her warning, then tell the coach to take her home. Unfortunately, the rowdy boys were so enthusiastic to get to Pleasure Island that they all but stampeded onto the boat. Seras got knocked down and all but run over as they flooded into the small ship. She considered leaving after that, but she still hadn't warned Pip and didn't think her conscience would leave her alone till she did. So, she decided to quickly board, look for Pip, warn him, then get off and tell the coach to take her home.
Unfortunately, the ship was bigger and fuller than she had thought, and the crew had closed up and set sail before she'd even found Pip. Seras was so angry she could have kicked something, but the kicking quickly turned to retching when they got further out to sea. While most of the boys continued to cheer loudly, Seras got so seasick she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag, never mind a red-haired boy.
The ship sailed over to a small island not far from shore, with turned out to have high rocky cliffs up close. Seras vaguely wondered through her seasickness how they were going to dock with nothing but jagged rocks sticking out of roaring waves, when she noticed a small cave sticking out of the cliff. It was just big enough to fit the boat they were in without crashing. That was strange.
They docked inside the cave, with nothing standing between them and the jagged walls except an oak bridge and doors. It was a tense moment of anticipation, as the boys waited for the crewmen to heave open the giant oak doors. When the light poured in from the island, the boys cheered loudly and rushed into the park. The coachman that Seras rode beside stood at the side of the door, smiling and encouraging the boys to run right through.
Seras was one of the last to stumble out of the ship, still weak and nauseous with sea-sickness. The creepy coachman smiled congenially down at her.
"Why, little boy," he said, a creepy glint in his glasses, "why aren't you enjoying the festivities with the others?"
"Bugger off," Seras grumbled, but stumbled right on through.
She paused when she finally got a good look at the island. It was a beautiful sight. There were lights and rides and balloons and colorful confetti everywhere. It smelled strongly of grilled meat and warm, melted sugar. The strong smell of fatty and sugary food made Seras even more nauseous, but the boys found it appetizing, and they flocked to the eating area like geese during feeding time. Seras' relatives raised geese, among other animals, and Seras hated feeding them because they were about half her size and always charged at her with their beaks and wings outstretched. Her cousins always got a huge laugh out her either dropping the feed and running away while screaming bloody murder, or getting pummeled by a whirlwind of feathers and beaks when she tried to fight them off. Either way, the boys flocking over the food reminded her of them.
A tall, pale man with long blonde hair and a white suit encouraged them. "Eat all you can! Be a glutton! Stuff yourselves! It's all free, boys, it's all free!"
The nauseating smell of food drove Seras to another part of the island, where she encountered a large tent filled with boys beating the snot out of each other. A big, burly sailor covered with tattoos across half of his body stood by the door, with a scythe slung over his shoulder.
"The rough house!" he called in his gruffest voice, "The rough house! It's the roughest, toughest joint you ever seen! Come in and pick a fight, boys…"
Normally, Seras would leap at the chance to pick a fight with some stupid boys without getting into trouble, but tonight she was too tired and nauseous to enjoy it. She'd probably lose anyway, which wouldn't be any fun either.
In fact, none of this place was fun, and Seras wanted to find Pip quickly so she could warn him and go home.
"Pip Vernadead!" she cried over the roar of the crowd, coughing from the cigarette smoke. "Pip Vernadead! Ugh, what's with this place?! There's something… phony about all this! I've got to get him out of here!"
Unfortunately, the next place she ran into was the aptly named "Tobacco Row," where several swarthy men dressed to look like Indians threw cigars to the boys by the handful.
"Tobacco Row! Tobacco Row!" one of the men shouted, "Get your cigars, cigarettes and smoke a lighter!
His voice sounded familiar. When Seras squinted, she saw that he was the Dandy Man!
"Hey!" Seras shouted, but was quickly swept away by the flow of the crowd.
By the time she could get her bearings (or, rather, shove the boys around her out of the way), they made it into the model home section. What struck Seras so odd was that these were really nice, really decorated, really expensive looking homes, and they were being torn apart by dozens of destructive boys.
"Come on up! Come on all!" some swarthy chav cried, "See these nice, pretty model homes! They're about to get blown apart, bitches! Come on up, come tear 'em down for us! It's up to get fucked up, boys!"
This puzzled Seras a great deal. These model homes looked like they cost a great deal of time and money to make, so why have it torn down? Since Seras' dad was a police officer, he taught her a few things about the value of money. When he told her why stealing was wrong, he had to explain how people worked hard to make money by making something or do something that people needed, which they paid for. For example, a wood-carver would work really hard to make a chair that someone else needed, and someone else would need a chair for their kitchen, so the person would pay the woodcutter for the chair. The woodcutter would then use the money to buy a steak from the butcher, who would then use the money to buy his wife some pretty shoes. But what if someone stole the woodcutter's chair? He can't make money from the chair now that it's gone, and has to spend more money he already has buying more wood to carve another chair, rather than making money he doesn't have or spending money on food from the butcher. (It took a lot of explaining, but Seras eventually got it.)
While the people on this island were giving stuff away for free, Seras wondered where they got the money to pay for it. Here they were letting kids break chairs, but how did they pay for the wood and time used to make it? Heck, someone obviously put in a lot of time and money to provide all these rides, lights, decorations, food, drinks, and model homes. Yet they gave it all to these boys for free, and there were no parents to pay for them… so how were they paying for all this stuff?
Seras was snapped out of her reverie when a boy clubbed her on the back of the head. "Hey, what're you doing standing around for, dumbass."
Seras growled as her eyes watered. That hurt! "What the fuck do you think you're doing, jackass?!"
"Oh, whoo!" the boy taunted, pretending to be scared; "You wanna make something of it?"
Seras glared. He was a much bigger boy, and he was surrounded by two of his friends, but that just served to make her angrier. "BRING IT ON, JACKASS!"
She swung at him, but he easily dodged and punched her so hard she flew through a low-hanging stain glass window and blacked out.
When Seras woke up, the island was completely dark and deserted. It was still night (or else it was the night after), and all the lights and music were turned off, the rides were no longer running, and the boys were completely gone. Not even the smell of cooking food remained (which Seras would have liked now that she was hungry again). Only the full moon showed her what the island looked like.
Seras climbed out of the rubble surrounding the model home, wondering what on earth happened and where had everyone went? Had they all gone home? Was this a one-night deal? Were there some free beds somewhere that let them go when they got tuckered out? Seemed unusual for a bunch of boys to all feel sleepy at the same time, but maybe the jackasses were just sleeping off some booze? (Seras knew all too well that men tended to get tired and go to sleep around the same time when they drank enough, the rotters.)
If Seras had any significant intelligence or imagination to speak of, she might have been spooked by the conspicuous absence of any life and the creepy look and feel of the island after dark. Unfortunately, she was a rather simple child, who tended to take things at face value and not see any underlying motive on people's parts. She only thought the island dangerous because she's heard some creepy-looking men talking about it, so decided to warn her frien—enemy. She thought it strange that they gave so much stuff away for free because her daddy had explained to her the value of money. She didn't worry about the island being dangerous for her because she wasn't a boy. Since they never wanted girls, she assumed it wasn't dangerous for girls.
Just the same, it did look creepy, and Seras wanted to find where the boys went so she could drag him home.
"P-Pip Vernadead!" she shouted, finding her voice, "Pip Vernadead!"
No answer. The island seemed to echo her voice, which she found more disturbing than the abandoned statues that looked angry at night. She tried finding the employees, the crewmen, but couldn't find anyone there either. That was strange. Didn't they keep anyone out here to guard the island?
"Where is everyone?" she said out loud, sliding down a pile of broken furniture. "This place is like a grave… Oh, wherever he is, I've got to get him out of here... Pip Vernadead! Hey! Where are you?!"
After searching around the island some more, and finding that it was oddly surrounded by walls of rocky cliffs like those outside, with only one area "flat" enough for a person to climb up, Seras found one lone light in a corner of the island. It was a building shaped and painted to look like a giant eight ball. Seras groaned. Not pool. Only loud-mouthed smokers, drinkers, and ruffians played pool. She hoped Pip wasn't with them.
As fate would have it, Pip Bernadotte was indeed playing pool. He had been there all day once the novelty of the rest of the island wore off. Besides, the pool room had everything he liked; good smokes, good drinks, nice pictures of pretty women, and a bunch of guys to just shoot the shit with. Still, the pool room got steadily emptier as time went on, till it was just him and a couple of his friends.
"Where do you suppose the other kids went to, Vlad?" he asked, lounging on a chair with cigar in hand.
"Eh, they're having fun somewhere," he dismissed.
"It's been pretty quiet for a while," one of the other boys said.
"Eh, they all probably got tired out or went somewhere else," Vlad said, a little more aggressively. It was clear he was the leader and expected them to obey without question. He wasn't necessarily bigger or older than them, but he had a strong force of personality; a cockiness, an arrogance, a confidence that inspired submission in others. He then sent them a pointed glance, "What do you care?"
"I-I don't," Pip said, trying to look nonchalant.
Being too nice was what got him teased and bullied by the other boys back home, so he really wanted to fit in with them here. They were all really coarse, vulgar, rough-and-tumble types, so Pip had to act like them to get acceptance from them. It was pretty easy though. As long as he just went along with what they wanted to do, he could slip by.
"Eh, who cares where they all went," one of the boys said, "You're having a good time, ain't ya?"
"Uh-huh," Pip said, "I sure am!" and he took a few puffs of his cigar.
"Ah, you smoke like me grandmother!" Vlad exclaimed. "Take a big drag! Like this!"
"A-all right," Pip said after the demonstration, and repeated it.
While he was getting used to smoking, he wasn't yet used to huge drags of heavy cigars, and began coughing.
"Here's something to wash it down," one of the boys said, handing him a beer.
Pip chugged it down gratefully, but quickly learned better when his stomach and head started spinning. Within a few moments, he felt like he was floating in a pickle jar and was looking out at the world through wobbly fluid.
"All right kid, your shot," Vlad said.
Pip was just barely able to hold the pole straight, and would have liked to sit it out.
"What's the matter, kid?" Vlad taunted, "Can't handle your booze? Losing your grip?"
It was around this same time that Seras Victoria came in, scandalized by what she saw.
Pip furrowed his brow, determined to make the shot to prove his manliness.
"PIP VERNADEAD!" She screamed so suddenly he scratched the table instead of the ball. "So this is where I find you! How do you expect to grow into a real man? Just look at yourself! Smoking!" She ripped the cigar out of his mouth. "Drinking!" She examined the inside of an empty beer mug. "Playing pool!" She kicked the table, then cried out in pain and clutched her foot. "And singing vulgar songs!"
"I don't know, what I've been told," The others sang, "but Eskimo **** is mighty cold~!"
"GYAH!" Seras screeched, "You're coming right home with me, this minute!"
"Hey! It's the big-mouth!" Vlad exclaimed.
"You!" Seras cried, "You donkey-hurting pig-rat!"
"Woo!" Vlad laughed, "Such foul language!"
"I'll show you foul language, you sadistic creep!"
"Who the hell is this?" one of the boys asked Pip and Vlad, "You two know this kid?"
"That's Seras Victoria," Pip said wearily, clutching an early hangover that was not helped by Seras' screaming. "She's a girl from back in my home village."
"WHAT?!" Vlad exclaimed. "You mean to tell me they let girls like this on the island?!"
"What do you mean 'girls like this'?" Seras exclaimed. "Of course they don't let girls like me on the island! With good reason too, because we girls are too clever to fall for such obvious scams; unlike you boys!" So saying, she crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air.
"Yeah, sure," Vlad scoffed, "Go preach to the local choir."
"Why, you-!"
"Why are you even here, Seras?" Pip asked, rubbing his head painfully.
"Yeah, this island is only for boys!"
"Yeah, they don't allow girls on the island!"
"You can have it!" Seras snapped. "Pip, I came to tell you the island's dangerous."
Now it was the other boys' turn to cry, "What?!"
"I overheard some creepy men talking about it in an alley back home. Something about a shipment of boys or something. Anyway, the dandy man was one of them. I think this might be kidnapping or slavery or something."
"Okay, now I know you're making this up," Vlad sneered.
"It's true!"
"So you expect us to believe the island's dangerous just because you claim you saw some creepy men talking about some shipment to an island they never named?"
"That's right!"
Vlad laughed. "If you expect us to believe that, you're crazier than I thought!"
Seras flushed with anger and embarrassment. This was exactly why she didn't want to bother telling other boys! She knew they'd laugh and pick on her!
"Well, you can just stay here and rot then!" she screamed, "I don't care about any of you!"
"Why'd you come here then, Seras?" Pip asked, still battling his throbbing hangover.
"To drag you home, of course!" Obviously!
"And what if he doesn't want to go with you?" one of the boys sneered.
"Well, that's too bad," Seras snapped, "After all the trouble I went through to find him, he's coming with me!"
"You really think he's going with you just because you demand it?" Vlad sneered, stepping between her and him.
"Yes I will! Get out of my way!"
"What if I don't want to go anywhere?" Pip asked absently.
"Pip, you have to! This island's dangerous!" Seras cried earnestly, "It'll do you in if you doesn't leave!"
"How could you know that?"
"Pip, trust me!" Seras cried earnestly. "Nothing in life is free. One way or another, you'll always pay!"
Something about her tone finally penetrated his thick skull, but the others laughed and shooed her out.
"Why, you-!" Seras began, but one of the boys tripped her fell down.
All but Pip burst out laughing. Vlad especially laughed the loudest and cruelest.
Seras pushed herself up, red-faced and tear-eyed with rage and humiliation.
"Aw, look, she's crying!"
"You gonna cry, little girl?"
"BUGGER OFF!" Seras screeched.
They just continued to laugh and mock.
"Come on guys, lay off," Pip said.
"Since when do you defend girls, kid?"
"I-I don't-!" he protested weakly.
"THAT DOES IT!" Seras screeched, and scrambled to her feet.
"But Seras-" Pip protested.
"YOU BUTTERED YOUR BREAD, NOW SLEEP IN IT!" she retorted.
Her misuse of an old analogy did not escape the other boys' notice, and they laughed and mocked her even harder for it.
"Why, you worthless hoodlums! I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!" Seras screamed, brandishing her fists.
They just kept laughing; Vlad the longest and loudest. "Oh, this is rich! You really think a girl like you can take me in a fight?"
Seras was beside herself with rage. She flushed and seethed charged him with fists swinging.
'NOT ONLY WILL I WIN, I'LL TAKE YOU APART AND PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER-!"
"Wait, don't do this, Seras!" Pip cried, holding her back, "He's a great fiend!"
He meant she'd get hurt if she tried to fight him, as Pip knew Vlad wouldn't be above hurting girls or fighting dirty, but Seras heard it differently.
"WHY, I'LL-" Seras gasped, and rounded on Pip, "A great friend?! And what am I? Just a big-mouth?!"
Never mind that she had done nothing since the day they met but let him know just how much she hated him in every way possible!
"Fine, then! Stay with your great friend! I don't care anymore! Just go ahead and rot, or whatever it is that happens to boys here!"
Pip blinked. Where did that come from?
"But, Seras..."
"Just don't come crying to me when-" Seras tripped over a chair, and the boys laughed at her. She, in turn, glared up at them with unparalleled hate. "HA! HA! HA!" she sarcastically laughed along. "Go on! SCRAM! Make a jackass out yourself! I am through! This is the end!" So saying, she flung imaginary dirt off her overalls and stomped away with her fists swinging from side to side.
"Seras, please understand!" Pip cried, "Vlad says a guy only lives once!"
"VLAD!" she snarled, "PTUEY!"
"Come on! Come on! Let her go!" Vlad shouted, and poured more beers for him and the boys.
Pip let Seras go with serious misgivings, but didn't think he could approach her because of how angry she was.
Seras, for her part, was fuming so violently it was amazing she didn't spontaneously combust. Her face was flushed and her eyes were watering with rage, humiliation, and frustration. She kicked and stomped and smashed up as much of the debris as she could as she headed for the front doors. How dare they?! How dare he?!
"Vlad!" she snarled out loud! "Vlad!"
She kicked a discarded cigar so hard the ashes few in the air.
"Burns me up! After all I tried to do for him!"
She just came to warn him about the dangers of the island he let them all laugh at her and kick her out!
"Who's his friend anyway? Me or that STUPID Vlad kid?!" she shouted as she tore down a bunch of tangled banners hanging in her way.
Never mind that they had never been friends because she had always made sure he knew exactly how much she despised him! Ah, the trials of young love.
"Well, that settles it!" she shouted as she stomped up the giant stone steps, "I'm taking the next boat out of here! I've had enough of this!"
She pounded on the giant oak door with her tiny fists. "Open that door! OPEN UP! I WANNA GO HOME!"
In waiting for a response, she heard the curious sound of donkeys braying. Confused, she looked around until she realized it came in from the other side of the door. She eventually found a large knot-hole close to the bottom, and peeped through. Inside was the same cave and boat they arrived in, only now both were both full to bursting with donkey crates. The poor animals were crying non-stop, and she saw the island staff load the boat with crates from the dock.
She recognized the entire staff from the island. The pale dandy with long bond hair, the swarthy chav with piercings, the Dandy Man, the big, muscular, tattooed sailor holding a large bullwhip, and the fat coachman with the thick red coat. It looked like the coachman was in charge, as he stood in the center and gave orders to the tattooed sailor on his right, who relayed said orders in his - no, wait, HER? - big gruff voice.
"Come on! Come on! We haven't got all night!" she shouted in her grating voice.
A few dark men in brown-green trench coat uniforms used a pulley, as well as their arms, to load the boat with crates even faster.
It looked like the donkeys were going out, rather than coming in. If they didn't bring them in, then that begged the question: "Where did all the donkeys come from?" She hadn't seen them on the island before. First it was crowded, then it was deserted, now here they were?
On one side of the cave, the donkeys were funneled in from a narrow wooden cage. They were strangely dressed in boys clothes.
"Come on! Come on! Let's have another!" the tattooed sailor shouted.
One of the mooks grabbed a donkey by the ears and shoved it toward the coachman and the tattoed sailor. It was wearing a blue coat and hat.
The coachman then leaned down and asked it genially, "Und what's your name?"
The poor thing just brayed helplessly.
The coachman nodded to the tattooed sailor, who grabbed it by the ears and tore off it's coat. "Okay, you'll do! In you go!" she shouted, and shoved it into a nearby crate, which was surrounded by crates that were already full. "You boys'll fetch a nice price," she chuckled. Strangely, they all seemed to understand her, as their faces and ears all drooped in discouragement.
Seras had never seen donkeys with such expressive faces, nor an apparent understanding of their situation.
"All right! Next!" the tattooed sailor called, and a very small donkey in a little sailor outfit got shoved in front of them.
"And what might your name be?" the coach asked politely.
"Alexander..." the donkey replied in a very weak, small voice.
Seras gasped.
"Hm... so you can talk?" the coachman asked calmly.
"Y-yes sir!" the donkey then cried in a pitiful voice, "I wanna go home to my mama!"
The coachman made a dismissive hand gesture to the tattooed sailor, who grabbed it by its ears and tail. "Take him back!" she yelled, "He can still talk!"
So saying, she shoved him into a section of the cave that was quartered off with wooden planks and barrels. Inside the barricade were several donkeys also wearing human clothes. The little donkey slid so hard he crashed into the cave wall, where all the others stared at him. He then got right back up and started pleading, "Please! Please! I don't want to be a donkey!" Then, they all started pleading. "Let me out of here!"
The tattooed crook looked to the coachmen, who then nodded, then she smirked sadistically and stalked toward them. When her giant shadow fell on them, she snapped the bullwhip (which rang like a gunshot) and bellowed "QUIET!"
The donkeys silenced, then huddled together.
"You boys have had your fun! Now pay for it!"
They all cowered under her shadow.
"Boys...?" Seras gasped, "So that's what-?!" She then turned tail and ran. "PIP VERNADEAD!"
Back in the pool room, the numbers had whittled down to just Pip and Vlad. One of the other boys had gone to the bathroom, while another felt very ill and left to ask about seeing a doctor. Seras' words hung in the air like a prophesy, which all the boys tried to ignore or forget. Pip felt terrible about letting the others bully her away, but tried to justify that she was being mean and crazy. Of course there was nothing wrong with the island. Of course she was just making things up. Or, at the very least, she must have been mistaken... right? But... she seemed so earnest. For a moment, her permanent glare had melted away as she looked at him with genuine concern. For a moment, she seemed like she really cared about his well-being.
"Pip, trust me," she had said, "Nothing in life is free. One way or another, you always pay."
He looked at his beer without much enthusiasm. Before, it had tasted sweet and bubbly. Now, it just tasted bitter and gave him a stomach ache.
Vlad must have felt the doom hanging over them too, because he kept trying to break the tension by undermining Seras.
"Feh," he scoffed, "hear that big-mouth talk, you'd think something was going to happen to us!"
So saying, he took a swig of his beer and spouted two long donkey ears.
Pip's eyes widened. He looked at his beer, then shook his head and pushed it away.
"'The island is dangerous,' she says," Vlad continued, "Well, what does she know?"
So saying, he leaned over the pool table to take a shot, and a donkey tail burst out of his trousers.
Pip's eyes widened again, and he removed the cigar from his mouth. Okay, there must have been something in it. He flicked it away.
"Where does she get that stuff? 'How do you expect to grow into a real man'? What does she think she is? Your wife?"
So saying, he leaned over to take another shot of pool, then emerged with a face that looked like a donkey's!
"Of course you're growing into a real man!" Vlad grinned. "What does she think I look like? A jackass?"
Pip grinned. Okay, now he knew he was drunk! There was no way this could be real. This was too absurd to be real!
"You sure do!" He laughed - only to bray controllably. Pip's hands flew over his mouth in horror, but Vlad didn't get it right away.
"Hey, you laugh like a donkey!" He laughed too - only to bray. His hands flew over his mouth in horror too. "Did that come out of me?"
Pip nodded in mute horror.
Vlad's eyebrows knitted together, and he gingerly felt his muzzle - only to gasp when he felt fur. He ran his hands gently up his face, then gasped harder when he felt the ears. He ran his hands all the way up to the tips, then suddenly grabbed them and pulled them down to where he could see them. "What the-?! What's going on?!" He then ran to the mirror. He stared at it a moment, then all of his cockiness melted away as he screamed in pure terror. "I've been double-crossed!" he screamed, and ran frantically around the room. "Help! Help! Somebody help! I've been framed! HELP!"
Pip watched him in numb horror. Vlad was turning into an animal right before their eyes and neither of them could do anything. They had no idea what was causing it, or how to stop it. No one could blame him for being scared, but seeing Vlad go from a cocky and self-assured kid into a screaming, whimpering, panicking wreck fueled Pip's terror more than the transformation ever could. He couldn't move, couldn't speak; couldn't breathe. His eyes were wide with terror, and his teeth clenched his fingers to keep from screaming himself.
Vlad then crawled toward Pip on bended knees. Pip flinched away from his touch.
"You've got to do something!" Vlad cried, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, "Be a man! Call the big-mouth! Call anybody!"
Vlad's hands morphed into donkey hooves right before Pip's eyes. They both gasped in horror was he pawed at Pip's chest.
What happened next was the stuff of nightmares. Vlad lost it, and screamed for his mother as his bipedal donkey body painfully contorted into that of a four-legged animal. All humanity fled as he could only bray and kick wildly. Pip's placed a hand over his mouth in horror, and could only stare as the once cocky boy now flailed and kicked wildly around as a panicked donkey, smashing the mirror and kicking up tables and chairs, which Pip had to dodge to keep from being hit by.
In the midst of all the horror, a terrible thought occurred to Pip: what if it happened to him too? "Oh, what's happened?!"
Across the island, Seras Victoria was racing to get back to him. "I hope I'm not too late!" she cried, clutching her hair to keep it from blowing in the wind.
"W-what'll I do?!" Pip cried, looking around frantically.
Seras darted into the pool room, all previous anger forgotten. "Pip Vernadead!"
"Seras!" Pip cried, running to her. "Seras Victoria! Help!"
"Pip, you've got to come with me! It's terrible!" she cried frantically, gesturing wildly towards the outside. "The kids - the BOYS - they're all donkeys-!"
Pip gasped. "You too!"
"What are you talking about?!" she cried, "We've got to get out of here..."
She then felt something brush against her hand, and lifted it to find her own donkey tail resting in her palm.
She stared at it for a moment, then let out a shrill scream.
Fearing another Vlad transformation, Pip cried, "Come on! Quick! Before you get any worse!"
It says a great deal about Seras' character that, faced with the same transformation as Vlad, she remained focused (though still terrified) and instead ran after Pip into the night.
Pip darted toward the front doors, while Seras swerved to the right. "This way, Pip! It's the only way out!"
He followed her up a slanted hill. The theme park was surrounded by steep rocky cliffs on all sides, but there was one part of the wall that was slanted enough to climb. It was still rather steep and covered with huge boulders, some as high as their knees and some taller than them, but at least they could climb it. Pip started out behind, then quickly overtook her since he was so much taller and longer-limbed. He tried to ignore how donkey-like she looked from behind.
He didn't realize how far ahead he got until she cried, "Wait for me!"
With a longing look at the top, he groaned and reached down to help her up. He tried to ignore how hard and smooth her hand felt. Thankfully she urged him to keep going, and they both ran like their lives depended on it. Their lives did depend on it. Down below, they could see the faint torchlight and hear the distant rumble of adult voices.
"Hurry up! Before they see us!" she cried as they neared the top.
Pip made it first and dashed forward until he made it to the edge.
"You've gotta jump!" Seras cried from behind him.
Pip dove into the water, while Seras made a running leap from behind him.
Eh, I'll pause right here. If you're wondering why Seras turned into the donkey and not him, read on.