"He's against us, whatever magic touched him has made him an enemy...and a dangerous one."
Meredith was sitting behind her desk, the high backrest of her chair covered in silvery runes of protection against mind-altering magic. It was likely not required, no mage was allowed within a hundred feet of the walls of the new templar keep, but Meredith was not one to take chances, understandably so, given her position.
She was one with a heavy burden on her shoulders, and worthy of following, far more so than Hawke had been.
Standing tall, at attention, Carver felt every inch the knight and warrior he'd always wanted to be. Even better, he was a Templar knight, a holy warrior, and one of rank to boot. He owed all of that, everything, to the woman before him. One who rewarded men who deserved it and didn't just throw them morsels while speaking of nothing but how they did their duty and nothing more.
Still, it was hard to reply to Meredith's words, to see her resting her elbows on the table with her chin resting on her cupped hands, just like Hawke would have done. "He's...it's difficult for me to imagine him being under control by anything, Commander, I must admit." He shifted where he stood. Mother wouldn't like me saying this. He grimaced, looking away. Mother's dead. "But it's a possibility, we can't expect him to have done as well as a proper templar in resisting the magic in the De Launcet mansion."I would have saved her.
"Indeed, it's impossible to know just what transpired beyond those doors, but it's suspicious that Hawke went in alone. Yet now he's actively threatening us, going against us...the Templars, those dedicated to the eradication of demons and the containment of magic, what other proof is needed that he's under the influence of some demon?" Meredith growled, her lips a thin line at the memory of how Garrett had forced them out of his home, despite their just cause for being there. When did he start flaunting the law without shame? I thought he hated working for Athenril...or was it too small a business for him?
"Commander, if I may?" Cullen looked worried where he stood, but Carver expected the man was worried about other things than the rampant corruption among the citizens of Kirkwall. What's that guy's problem, anyway? "We cannot simply assume that Hawke's hostility comes out of demonic corruption. By such reasoning, anyone that disagrees with us in any matter is a suspect of corruption." The man shook his head. "In fact, he's been very consistent in his demands with us, has he not? He wants a secular rule of Kirkwall..." He raised a hand, stopping Meredith's oncoming protest. "...and yes, I know, we do not rule Kirkwall, we've simply stopped the election of a Viscount, but from his point of view we must seem to be acting like rulers of the state." He let his hand drop, a hint of pleading in his voice. "I'd suggest we invite him for a civilised discussion about the future of Kirkwall, Commander. I doubt he'd desire much more than a certain autonomy of the state, we give him that, and he'll no longer be a problem."
"Give the wolf a morsel and hope he goes away?" Carver arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "That doesn't sound wise."
"That's your brother you're speaking about, you know." Cullen pointed out, giving Carver a disturbed look.
Carver shot back a cold look. "No, you are my brother." Damn, that felt good to say, not like there's another family out there anymore, just some fool on a high horse, the bodies of those we once cared about around him. Looking back to Meredith, Carver straightened. "I say we take him in for questioning, he's not untouchable." Wonder if that would give Merrill time to get away...argh, why can't I get her out of my mind!? Carver held back a grimace of annoyance. Bloody elf, it's like she's cast a spell on me... The thought made him shiver.
Meredith shook her head, looking tired. "I cannot risk it. If I do bring him in on charges of demonic corruption the other nobles might stop resisting us...or they might just do what the man said they would, crippling our ability to combat the very real and much more important struggle with the apostates running rampant through the streets."
"So we give him what he wants, securing our ability to keep hunting the apostates." Cullen said with a stoic look on his face. "We don't need to fight a war on two fronts, Commander."
Meredith scowled back. "What we need or not is not the issue, Captain, it's whether he's an enemy or not. Templars don't pick their battles, they fight them, wherever they appear." Her scowl faded. "But how? We raised the taxes, yet now we get less money, as if the nobles have none left...he's already making it harder for us to hunt down the apostates."
"They're hiding the money?" Carver asked, eyes narrowed. I thought paying taxes was a law..." Maker, what's Garrett doing!?
"To be fair, we shouldn't be able to raise taxes if we're not the rulers..." Cullen pointed out with a grunt. Noting Meredith's and Carver's annoyed look, he shrugged. "...call me the demon's advocate, but I'm trying to show how he might be viewing it."
"You're assuming he's a master of his own actions and acting as a person." Meredith frowned.
"And you assume he's acting on behalf of a demon." Cullen countered, narrowing his eyes at his Commander.
Here we go, always with the arguing... Carver rolled his eyes. "He's acting against us."
"Which doesn't automatically make him possessed by demons or similar." Cullen snapped back, then turned his eyes to Meredith, shaking his head. "He might just dislike us, Commander."
Meredith scowled back, but the look faltered, turning unsure as she turned her gaze to the table. "Doubt is a weakness and a danger...yet I am not sure. I do not know how to act here, what is right to do."
Surprised by the woman's words, Carver turned his gaze to Cullen, finding the man looking equally confused. Carver was the first to look back to Meredith. "Commander, I think-"
"No, sorry, captains, but we're done here for today." Meredith didn't look up, frowning at the desk before her. "I'll think on what you've said and make a decision later."
Carver and Cullen once more exchanged a look, neither sure what to make of their leader.
"Leave me."
Even as they left, the woman didn't look up, her eyes intense as she gazed into her desk.
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Where is it...?
Merrill felt guilty, a strange vice around her heart, making her breaths short and shallow.
I know he's hiding it somewhere around here, he always gets tense when I'm near this shelf...
It was wrong of her, she knew it, to stand in the hallway of their home, looking through what was nothing but another bookshelf, in search of something she wasn't supposed to have.
I should, damn it, it's my people's...and I...they...need it.
It had also been wrong of her to search through his office, and the estate's treasury.
It's my stuff too, I'm his wife, I have a right to everything in our home as much as he does.
The betrayal of trust was stinging her though, her betraying his trust.
Bah, like he trusts me anymore, not after what he said about Leandra. I...how could he say that!? It's just so mean and untrue and cruel! I didn't...she was there, speaking to me the entire time...I didn't give her any blood or anything, I couldn't have been the cause for her doing what she did.
Two wrongs doesn't make a right though.
Merrill's brow furrowed, her hands slipping in and out between books, seeking, searching. This isn't wrong, it's right. Not like Garrett cares.
He'd been so distant as of late. Off speaking with his nobles, with local merchants, with workers, with priests, with crime-lords...busy with his scheming and his politics. Merrill loved him, but by Anduril, it was becoming more and more difficult, the less he was around. Does he even love me back now? The words had been painful, and the lingering silence after it, even worse. They were shadows, flickering past one another whenever they met, which thankfully was rare due to the man's schedule.
Slowing in her search, Merrill took a deep breath, forehead coming to rest on the bookshelf, he shoulders shaking. Dhavine hurt him, not I, I'm innocent...b-but...by the gods, I'm afraid. She's smiling whenever we meet and...I'm afraid. The smile, demonic, cruel yet beautiful, terrifying yet alluring, had begun haunting Merrill's dreams. She's a monster but...I need her, I have to use her, I have to fix the Eluvian. I'll use her, then...we'll part ways, yes, she gets her freedom, I my Eluvian.
Garrett would hate giving her anything though... Merrill sighed, wearily raising her head, hands slowly beginning their search again. I can't think about that, the fate of my people is more important than what my estranged husband thinks.
Where is it!?
Growling, Merrill gripped a book and threw it across the hall, then put a hand over her mouth in shock. I...shouldn't have done that, the book didn't deserve it. A deep breath and she let go of her mouth. Why are my hands shaking...? Mythal, I'm a wreck...too much stress over this. I need...I need to get it done, yes, done and over with, everything will be fine after that.
Dhavine's right, just a little magic, and it'll be done, all I need is the Arulin'Holm. It'll work, the clan will take me back, the Dalish will prosper as we're once more connected and we'll find a land to settle in...
By Falon'Din, it's almost too good to be true. Merill smiled at the thought, her hands turning more frantic in their search. It has to be here!
Then, she felt it.
Grinning, Merrill pushed her hand further between two books. The chisel with a handle of smoothly curved wood, the blade she knew was covered in dark veins pulsing with old Dalish magic...a tool that in itself was a work of art, another thing lost in the passage of time since the loss of the Dales.
Drawing a shuddering breath of relief, Merrill found her knees grow weak as she gripped it. This is...holding a piece of our history, yet at the same time, our future, with this, I'll...Mythal, the world will become good and right again. She grinned, again resting her forehead on the bookshelf as she just let her hand slide across the handle of the tool, caressing it. Everything will now be okay...
"What are you doing?"
Letting go of her precious find, Merrill whirled around, empty hands behind her back. Before her, Garrett stood, the solidly built man looking tired, yet at the same time determined...and a little frightened. Next to him, Maric was standing on all fours, the Mabari's eyes narrowed, nose sniffing in the direction of the elf.
Eyes wide, Merrill found herself squeaking. "Nothing..."
Maric snorted. Garrett, however, remained deathly silent as he stared at Merrill. His eyes were the hard wood of ironbark Merrill had somehow learnt to love. Yet there was a weariness behind them now, a weariness and a growing pain as he watched her, still as a statue.
Swallowing, Merrill shifted where she stood. "Wh-what? I...have something on my no-nose...?" She managed a smile, only to find it tremble and falter.
"You found it." It wasn't a question.
Merrill managed to raise her chin, taking quick breaths to steady herself from the hurt look boring into her from across the hall. It's mine, my people's...I won't be ashamed.
Before her, the pain grew deeper. "You've looked for it for some time, then."
Merrill looked away. Damn it.
"For how long?"
I...don't answer that, Merrill.
"After we got married?" Garrett drew an audible breath. "O-or before that, even?"
"I...didn't...I wasn't meaning to..." Merrill's protests died before they were even voiced, what could she say? It's mine, I need it, I must have it, I must use it.. She shook the thought aside. "It doesn't matter, why do you care? We hardly see each other anymore..."
"Don't make this about us." Garrett took a step forward, though his command lacked force, the hurt in his voice tugging at Merrill's resolve. "This is about you and that mirror...are you so set on fixing it? You were willing to forsake your clan for it, and now...me?"
Merrill looked up in shock. "You? I'm not going to-"
"What? You think I'm okay with you using the Arulin'Holm to fix the mirror and free Dhavine? A demon and the killer of my mother?" Garrett asked, though there was no anger in his voice, only a weariness and a lot of pain. Before her, the man was blinking, eyelids batting away a few reluctant tears."You know I'm not, yet here you are, about to do just that."
"I...have to do what's right for my people." Merrill croaked, backing into the bookshelf.
Before her, Garrett shook his head, still approaching as Maric sat down on his haunches, growling lowly in a way he'd never done before at Merrill. "Are you? Really? What does it do? Specifically? Do you even know?" Merrill swallowed, the man coming closer, unwanted for once. "How will it save your people?" His steps were slow, weary, yet unstoppable. "You don't know, do you? Yet you keep striving for it, reaching for it...do you know why you're so set on it by now?" Garrett shook his head, eyes now nothing but sad. "I think I do..."
"St-stop it, yo-you're scaring me..." Merrill looked away.
Only to have a finger cup her chin, forcing her to look the man in the eyes. His voice was as sad as his eyes, a low murmur. "Good, because you terrify me."
Shuddering, Merrill tried to look away, but couldn't. Instead, she sighed in Garrett's grip. "I...I know you don't understand or approve, but...Dhavine...she's just a creature of the Fade, an animal, she's just...acting to her nature. But she can help me, make everything right again..."
"Acting to her nature?" Garrett echoed, the grip on Merrill's chin tightening. "Merrill, this creature sadistically murdered my mother, she butchered an entire family, just for the sake of revenge for the Deep Roads. She even swore that no matter what, she'd find a way to hurt everyone I've ever cared about, that none would be safe under my protection." Merrill gasped. I...you never told me. "I ask you...is that the actions of some simple animal?"
I must have the Arulin'Holm though, it's not about Dhavine... "Sh-she'll go back to the Fade properly when the Eluvian is fixed, then she'll never bother us again."
Garrett was shaking his head, a sad smile on his lips. "She told you that? Or do you know that yourself? Are you sure?"
Well...no...but you can never be sure of anything in the world, really...right? Was it Dhavine telling me anyway? I don't remember...not important though, I must save my people. "L-love, wh-why won't you tr-trust me...? D-do you think so little of me?"
"No." Garrett smiled. "I think so little of Dhavine." He grimaced, his free hand moving up to grip the back of Merrill's neck, eyes pleading. "Please...just...let it go, I beg you."
I can't.
Why not?
I...can't.
Merrill bit her lip.
She bit it hard.
"I...I'm sorry." She finally managed, shoulders slumping, hands trembling. Mythal, what am I doing? "I shouldn't have...I...I'm so sorry."
Before her, Garrett smiled, the pain still in his eyes, but now lit with a light of hope and, maybe, even some happiness. "O-okay...yes, that's good, thank you, Merrill. I know it's...hard...but together, we can get through this."
"Y-yes." Merrill nodded, her heart hammering in her chest, terror gripping her tight. "I...I'm so sorry."
Demons, heed me...
"Come here." Garrett's arms were around her, so hard and tight that Merrill found herself gasping for air even as the warmth of the man made her sigh in relief. His whisper in her ear was so low, she barely heard it. "Maker, I've missed you..."
I offer this...
"I-I'm sorry, so sorry..." The blood welled from her lip.
"I'm sorry too...I should have been more...everything." Garrett pulled back, hands on Merrill's shoulders as he offered a tearful smile. "I...we'll work this out, okay?"
Merrill's eyes prickled, a sniffle escaping her. "I'm so sorry...!"
Smiling, tender, Garrett pulled her closer, lips brushing hers.
Make him freeze...
Silence.
Then, looking away, Merrill took a step to the side, sniffling. "I...it'll be okay, I promise. I...I'm so sorry."
Looking up, she found Garrett standing still as a statue, hands still reaching out to hold the shoulders that were no longer there, face smiling ever so slightly, all still as stone.
Yet his eyes moved, glittering with horror and hurt as they moved to follow her movements. "D-don't be mad..." Merrill swallowed, her whole body shaking. "It'll be okay." A growl, and she tore her eyes away from her frozen husband, finding Maric on all fours, teeth bared in a snarl. No...no please don't. Merrill raised a hand. "M-Maric...st-stay where you a-are...I...I don't want to h-hurt you." Next to her, Garrett's eyes stared in horror.
A bark, and Maric leapt for her, all affection gone, replaced by the fury of a Mabari defending his master.
Then he was sailing through the air, whining in pain as a thin vine of crimson blood wrapped itself around the dog's throat, harshly pulling him into a wall and pinning him there. D-don't hurt him too much, demons...my blood commands it. The dog, though obviously in pain, scrapped his feet against the floor, glaring at Merrill with a beastly anger. I'm sorry, I'll...make it up to you when I get back.
Turning away from the dog, Merrill hurriedly moved to the bookshelf, pulling the Arulin'Holm free and gently holding it in both hands. It was as beautiful as she'd remembered it, if not more so, the dark veins in the silvery blade seemingly moving before her eyes, calling to her to work with it, to use it. Together, we'll change the world, make everything good again...
Guilty, she looked up, finding Garrett still staring at her, his body still as a statue's, yet his eyes following her, horrified, hurt.
There were tears rolling down his cheeks.
Wincing, Merrill forced a smile. "It'll...it'll be okay, you'll see...I promise." Moving forward, she kissed the man's cheek, the taste of his tears on it bitter.
She lingered, staring at the man, watching him stare back, terrified for her.
It hurt.
Blinking aside a tear, she turned and began to run.
I promise.
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson, for the miracles.