A/N: Some of the memories are of the original written storyline in the book –almost word for word. Enjoy.
D: Disclaimed
BlueAnchor: I'm not sure how you'll take this chapter, or if your perspectives will change for Bella at least. As for Nahuel, I hope the same. I won't really involve him anymore in the story. This chapter will explain why Edward doesn't trust Jacob, but I doubt it will make Edward look any better. I'll just let you read and find out.
Chapter Ten
Sunday morning and I already had a few things on my agenda.
The first thing on my list was to call my parents and my other family over to talk before I could call Jacob over. If he was inviting his pack, I wasn't sure. I was beginning to think that just maybe they wouldn't let him go alone, and I wasn't looking for any unnecessary confrontations. The feud had been still fresh, and I don't think anyone will be too pleased to find that I would invited them all in the same area at once.
After hesitating to pick up the phone to dial my parents, I called and ended up speaking to aunt Alice. She had been her energetic self and asked me how I was doing and how school was going for me, already running plans by me for a graduation dinner she had been eager to plan. I couldn't exactly say no, but I told her that I would take care of the invitation list without any questions. She agreed before finally handing the phone over to my annoyed father.
"I was beginning to think you'd never forgive me Sebastian." He muttered.
"I didn't say I did dad." I replied, "I'm calling to see if you and everyone else can come over to talk before Jacob comes over."
"I'm in no mood to see or speak to Jacob, Sebastian." He replied in an angered tone.
"Is it really up to you dad?" I asked, "I'm just trying to make things right since you don't seem to want to."
"It's more than that son," he replied quickly.
"What is it then dad?" I asked annoyed. "I finally figured out what you all have been hiding from me, and now that I want to get to the bottom of all of this, and you make it sound like it's all my fault."
"I don't blame you Sebastian." He said defensively.
"It's Jacob's right?" I sighed in annoyance, "you know what? Never mind, we'll talk about it if you're willing to come over."
He hadn't said a word; "I'll talk to you if you come over with mom and the others."
"What time?" he muttered.
"Now." I replied before hanging up the receiver.
I only hoped that this time my father's stubbornness wouldn't get in the way; sometimes having too much pride could be degrading. It steers you in the wrong direction sometimes –probably one of the reasons it's consider one of the seven deadly sins.
If only my father knew that.
Grandpa questioned whether I was ready to speak to them, reminding me that I could wait a bit longer if I needed, but he understood that I needed to get this all over with. Of course him and grandma promised to remain by my side the entire time if things got out of hand, something I hoped wouldn't happen.
I wasn't surprised that fifteen minutes later everyone began to arrive in single file. My parents followed by my grandparents, then uncle Emmett with aunt Rose and uncle Jasper with aunt Alice not far behind. Each of them greeted grandpa Charlie and grandma Sue and sat around the living area as if it was a habit for them. They all gave me a smile except for my parents. I could see that my father was upset, but my mother had more of a blank expression; almost as if she was following instruction to keep quite.
"What is it you have to say to them Seb?" Grandpa Charlie asked.
"Can I say something first?" My mother raised her hand, interrupting grandpa, "I just want to begin by apologizing Sebastian. I never meant to lay a hand on you, and I have no excuse for my actions. I know that if I was able to handle this properly, then we wouldn't be in this predicament."
"But you hit your own son?" Aunt Rose glared.
"I know," mother began to whimper, "If I could take it all back, I would."
"Rose!" My father said displeased, "she said she didn't mean it."
"Okay, stop." I sat forward, "this is what I wanted to address in the first place. Everything that has been happening for the past month has been nothing but stressful on me, and none of you are making it easier when the arguments you have are always about me. I'm tired of being the topic of your disagreements."
"Oh sweetie," nana Esme spoke. "Don't think that way."
"I can't help but to," I replied annoyed. "When I asked about Jacob, you all acted as if I was crazy. When I asked why I couldn't go home or out to see what I felt I was missing, you said I was a danger to others. When I asked about the past, you all said I couldn't handle it. Each of them was because of what I am, like it's my fault that I was even born. I can't take it. If I'm such a burden, than I'd rather much stay here for the rest of my life where I know I'm appreciated."
"Where is this attitude coming from?" My father asked upset.
"Are you kidding me dad?" I replied sarcastically. "It seems that you can only tolerate me when I listen. If I rebel, all the sudden I'm wrong? You wont listen to me, and have been very demanding and controlling when it came to grandpa Charlie and grandma Sue raising me. I'm surprised that they didn't have to check-in with you on a weekly basis."
"Sebastian!" Mom spoke up, "…"
"What mom?" I replied upset, "I want answers. I deserve to know the truth to all of this."
"We told you everything you need to know." My father said in a monotone. "There is nothing else."
"What about Jacob?" I knew it would annoy him, but he was pissing me off, "you refuse to tell me about why you loathe him, and why you're so insistent on making me miserable because you don't want him near me."
"Because he's dangerous!" His voice heightened a bit, "I can't trust him to be near you when he could easily hurt you."
"Have you seen him hurt anyone?" I asked him bluntly. "Tell me if you had witnessed this, if you have seen Jacob hurt anyone around him. Physically I mean?"
He remained silent.
"There's something you're not telling me dad, and I want to know." I demanded. "If you can't trust Jacob, you obviously don't trust me."
"Don't Sebastian." He murmured, glancing down at his hand entwined with my mothers, "there's just things you will never understand."
"Like what?" I asked again.
"Edward, just tell him." My mother blurted, "he wants to know."
"And have him hate me?" Father glared at my mother.
"Tell him, or I will." She said in a demanding tone.
"What is it?" I asked, hesitantly.
"If Jacob hadn't imprinted on you, you would have been dead." He almost mumbled.
"What?" I wasn't sure if I heard him right.
"Wait!" Uncle Jasper interrupted, "don't you think it's best that Jacob tell him this rather than you guys. I can already feel the heavy emotions Sebastian is giving off, it's only right that Jacob be here to explain himself."
"Then I'll leave." My father stood up.
"Really Edward?" My mother stood up quickly and pulled on his arm, "we all need to be here, whether it turn good or bad, we need to be here for our son."
"I can't be near Jacob without wanting to tear his head off." He snarled.
"You all say that you don't want to hurt Sebastian, and yet you're all keen on telling him the one thing I never wanted him to know." He said angrily.
"It shouldn't matter Edward," uncle Emmett stood up, "it's best he knows now rather than him finding out down the road."
"What is it?" I asked annoyed.
"I'll call Jacob." Grandma Sue stood up and walked to the phone.
"I'm leaving." My father walked towards the door with my mother following.
"So you're going to abandon your own son in his time of need?" She said shakily, "when he needs his father to support him."
"I do support Sebastian with everything he does, and this is me doing so." He walked to the car; "I just can't promise anyone I might lose control once Sebastian finds out."
He stood at the open car door for a moment, almost as if he wanted to say something to me as I stood next to my mom, but instead he slid into the drivers seat and screeched out of the driveway.
I stood there in shock. How bad could it be that he wanted nothing to do with it? If this was him being protective over me, I failed to see his point. I found myself more upset with him right now rather then ever thinking I could forgive him. Does he really want to tear us apart? Is Jacob really as big as of a risk as he thinks? Or was this his way of getting his way?
I returned to couch deep in my thoughts as everyone seemed to surround me still, all silent and making me uncomfortable. But what more could anyone say? What could I say when I knew I wouldn't get answers until Jacob walked through that door? I just kept thinking that it would be something so drastic that it might make me hate Jacob forever. But that was the last thing I wanted to think about, and yet there were no other explanations coming to mind.
I was in fact correct when I had realized that Jacob hadn't come alone. Leah, Seth, Jared, Quil, Embry and Paul followed him in and sat on the chairs close to each other. I could feel the tension through the room, so I could only imagine what uncle Jasper was going through. I'm surprised he hadn't gone crazy by now.
"What is it that you aren't telling me about the imprint?" I asked, staring down at my hands, afraid to look him in the eyes.
"What?"
I repeated my question. "What is it that you aren't telling me about the imprint?"
"I told you everything." Jacob replied, looking more confused than I had been.
"Apparently not." I mumbled. "According to my dad, I could've been dead if you hadn't imprinted on me, what does he mean by that?"
He looked at me shocked, and then scanned the faces in the room with what looked like disappointment. "Why do you all feel that this is important for him to know?"
"They hadn't brought it up." My mother spoke, "it was the only way I could get Edward to explain his reasons."
"And where is he?" Jacob asked annoyed.
"He left?" My mother muttered.
"Running again?" Jacob smirked.
"Jacob!" Mother's head shot up as her voice rose a little, "Just, don't! Please. I don't want to make matters worse."
"Would you just tell me?" I asked again. Seth and Leah sat next to him with looks of disappointment.
"I can't." He shook his head, "it's just something I can't do."
"Really?" I sighed in disappointment, "what is it going to take for me to get some answers? Why is this so important to my father that he believes that you will hurt me? Why can't you tell me this? Do I have to make contact and dig through your memories for it?"
"You wouldn't." He gave me a glare.
"Either someone starts talking or I will grab the first person closer to me." I fumed.
"We tried to stop him." Seth murmured.
"What?" I looked over to him as his head hung down with one hand on Jacob's shoulder.
"Shut up Seth!" Jacob ordered.
"Who did they try to stop?" I glared at Jacob.
He wouldn't say a word, no one would. That was until Jacob reached his hand out with his palm exposed. "You're not going to like it."
"You want to show me?" I asked.
"Jacob don't!" My mother interrupted, "just tell him."
Before anyone else could intervene, I grabbed Jacob's hand and prepared myself for the worse.
I shuddered at the sound coming from behind me as I plodded down the stairs –the sound of a dead heart being forced to thud.
I wanted to somehow pour bleach inside my head and let it fry my brain. To burn away the images left from Bella's final minutes. I'd take the brain damage if I could get rid of that –the screaming, the bleeding, the unbearable crunching and snapping as the newborn monster tore through her from the inside out…
I wanted to sprint away, to take the stairs ten at a time and race out the door, but my feet were heavy as iron and my body was more tired than it had ever been before. I shuffled down the stairs like a crippled old man.
I rested at the bottom step, gathering my strength to get out the door…
It was clear that I was in Jacob's thoughts, and to see how he felt about my mother's death and my birth was very disturbing.
She was feeding the demon-spawn –blood of course. Probably Bella's blood, it only seemed right for the monster to finish off what it started.
My strength came back to me as I listened to the sound of the little executioners feeding.
Strength and hate and heat –red heat washing through my head, burning but erasing nothing. The images in my head were fuel, building up the inferno but refusing to be consumed. I felt the tremors rock me from head to toe, and I made no effort to stop them.
Rosalie was totally absorbed in the creature, paying no attention to me at all. She wouldn't be able to stop me, distracted as she was.
Sam had been right. The thing was an aberration –its existence went against nature. A black soulless demon. Something that had no right to be.
Something that had to be destroyed.
I pulled back to see the tear trickle down Jacob's cheek. I stared at him in shock as everyone witnessed my reaction. Jacob was going to end me? He really wanted me gone for something I couldn't control? He thought I killed my mother purposely and he was going to punish me for it; an infant?
He had been so angry.
My father knew this all along and he kept it from me? But then –as I give it more thought, I don't think he would ever be able to tell me the thoughts that vacated Jacob's mind. Jacob wanted me dead, and if it hadn't been for the imprint, my existence would have never been in play.
"I really am a burden." I muttered to myself.
"No," Jacob inched closer only for me to pull back, "this is why I didn't want to show you. As bad as it looked, you saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life as well as finally finding my reason for living."
"But what you feel isn't real." I felt the tear fall down my cheek. "Whatever emotions exchanged between us has been forced upon us."
"Everything is real." Jacob argued, "it began with Bella, and somehow fate knew that before me. I needed to be there for her to wait for you. My head had been so clogged with hatred that I was almost too blind to see it."
"But how do you react to this?" I questioned. "Especially when your pack had never approved of it, when my family disagreed with it. No one had supported it, but us? I always wondered why I felt the way I had for you, I really thought I was a freak because you had never shown me any gratification for my existence until you couldn't seem to take it anymore."
"But I told you why." He fended.
"Yeah, Sam. I know." I mumbled. "Your tribe. Like I said, everyone. I can probably guarantee that no one will argue for my side when I say that I want to love you because everyone is going to say that it's the effect of the imprint."
"I will."
"Of course you will." I murmured, "now I understand what everyone meant, whether were destined or not, our happiness will never be real."
"Sebastian." My mother spoke, "you can't think this way. Everyone has their own outlook on this and I think everyone is just as confused as the both of you. Don't give up on this."
"I didn't say I would." I responded in a monotone. "It's not like I have a choice anyways, right? I'll end up falling for Jacob and then we'll have that happily ever after that everyone seems keen on stopping. At least now I will know that what we have is arranged."
"What can I do for you to believe that what I feel is real?" Jacob sobbed now with his head rested in my palms. His tears were now soaking my skin as I felt the sorrow he was going through. "I would do anything to take that day back. To meet in a different way."
"I don't blame you Jacob." I admitted. His teary faced looked up at me in confusion. "I really don't know who to blame in all of this but my father."
"What?" My mom said shocked.
"If he could just leave it alone, then maybe I could've been more accepting." I said displeased. "He wanted me to know so bad, and as stubborn as I am, I wanted to know. How can I look at Jacob the same way as I used to, especially knowing this?"
"Maybe if I show you this?" He muttered, grasping my hands and pushing out the memory to me.
Heaven. I'm sure this is what it looks like. How it feels.
Everything I fought for now has worth. I owe it to the tiny porcelain boy sitting on my lap. His dark locks shined under the sun, his petite hands sparkled as he flipped through the pages of the book he begged me to read to him.
I could sit here for hours, day's maybe –just to hear him tell me how much he enjoyed our reading times.
I ignored the pain that I knew was about to come. I'd be leaving him in a day, and I wasn't sure if I could find the strength to do so. How could I tell him that we would no longer see each other because we were a risk to each other? Would he remember these moments like I would? Or would they become faded memories that he would never get back?
I brought my focus back to the story, listening as he read how Jack climbed the beanstalk with courage. I shed a tear of joy as he compared Jack to me, gloating how the character could never measure up to me. Other than Edward, I was his hero.
Somehow. Someday. I hoped I could be.
I wanted to do what was right, but –sometimes the right things can be so wrong. Sebastian would grow up never knowing how much he has changed all of our lives, how much he has changed mine. I didn't have a care anymore, other than him.
He made us all a family. He was the missing puzzle piece in Bella and Edward's lives, the miracle child that made the Olympic coven complete. He gave the title to Carlisle and Esme that they thought they would never have: grandparents. He was the reason Rosalie and Alice could be aunts as well as Jasper and Emmett to be uncles.
Because of what he gave us, we needed to give back. His safety.
His parents came up with the solution that benefitted me in some way, but would hurt them in every moment of their existence. He was going to live with Charlie and Sue under theirs and my watchful eye. Which meant, the chance for them to act as parents would be taken away from them.
But we all knew Sebastian was worth every bit of it.
"I'm sorry." I broke down into tears.
"Shh…" Jacob hushed as he held me, my mother following, "you don't need to apologize for anything."
"You did nothing wrong sweetie." My mom added, "don't ever think you had."
I couldn't say much. I didn't want to say anything. I would just make things worse. What I thought was abandonment, was an act of selflessness. Everyone made sacrifices for me to grow up without worries; I just wished that there were a better way to do it. But it made sense. As much as I hated it all, it made sense.
What do I do now?
My mother was right when I realized I did need my father here. I wasn't sure if I could forgive him, but I still needed him to be there for me. He still was my hero in some way, and it took Jacob's recollections to remind me of it. Everyone fought for my survival.
I guess everyone felt that it was the right thing to do to stick around; no one wanted me alone as of now. I didn't argue over it either. As big as I am, I still found comfort in my mother's hold, in my grandmother Sue's arms, under Jacob's watchful eye. He fell asleep on the alcove as I found myself drifting off in my mother's arms.
Whatever emotional stress I had been going through was slowly fading with the closeness of my family. The last thing I could remember before drifting off into sleep was my mother humming a lullaby in my ear.
It was daylight when I woke up, memories of yesterday still somewhat fresh in my mind. It was my mother who had told me to get up and get ready for school. I noticed that Jacob was no longer here, which saddened me a bit. But I wouldn't let it bother me.
I tended to my morning routines with a shower and a fresh set of clothes. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to go to school either. A part of me wanted to go and get my mind off of yesterday's events, but the other part wanted to stay behind and spend more time with my mother and the rest of the family in hopes to hear the better-of memories I hoped they could one day share.
As I walked in the kitchen, to my surprise, Seth had been sitting with hit mother and grandpa Charlie. Leah was in the living area keeping to herself as my mother pulled out a chair for me to sit while we enjoyed our breakfast. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle as Seth squinched his face as he watched me take a sip of the deer blood grandpa Charlie handed me.
I hadn't bothered to ask if my father had called or stopped by because I had already known the answer. But my mother had informed me that Jacob had pack duties along with the others and he promised to stop by later.
I knew we still had a lot to talk about. I felt that I still needed to build some sort of form of trust with him, but it didn't know how. The only thing I could think of was actually starting over and talking to him, and maybe discuss what the future will hold for us, or if there is a future for us.
It still scared me.
After breakfast was finished, my mom offered to drive me to school before she would go and try to talk some sense into my dad. I figured I would just let her deal with him while I enjoy my day in school.
Hopefully.
A/N: A big thanks to those who made this update possible, lytebrytehybrid88, Demon2Angel, darkly0divine, Hank's Lady, BurnedSpy, Little Red Ace, SoundShield11, Shalette, FreeSpirit15, BlueAnchor, hopelessromantic5, Pace1818 and chupito13.
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