(Just a note; I do not own any of these characters as they belong to Bad girls. Hopefully I have done justice to these characters as I am not an expert but simply trying to write a story that is interesting to those who have read my story)

Chapter 20

Nikki was still for a moment, still dumbfounded as to what Karen just told her. "Did you just say you slept with Yvonne? Because either I am developing a hearing problem or you're out of your mind."

Karen sighed. This wasn't a topic she was comfortable with, nevertheless, she knew she could no longer hold the secret she had kept so many years. And she trusted Nikki to be sensible and sympathetic. "I said, I slept with Yvonne." Karen repeated, feeling like a heavy weight of stone was lifted from her shoulders.

"When you say slept with Yvonne, what exactly do you mean?" Nikki probed. She was still having a hard time processing but she didn't want to seem indifferent.

"Oh don't be so daft," Karen said impatiently. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"How in the name of Heaven did you two end of sleeping together?" Nikki said mystified. "I know you both were pretty wasted but still, what happened? What the hell was in that alcohol?"

"Fuck Nikki, I am in love with Yvonne." She said which made Nikki's gob dropped. "I have been in love with her since we were fourteen."

"Shite," Nikki said feeling dumbfounded. "Way to dump something that heavy on me. This is colossal. I feel like you're on a titanic ship, sinking so let me be your anchor. I know a thing or two on complicated relationships." Nikki said, giving Karen a warm hug. "How long babe?"

"I've been hiding my feelings from her so long that I feel disappointed in myself and I'm a hopeless no hoper." Karen said, her palms feeling sweaty. "This is not easy for me to reveal as you might know."

"Does Yvonne know you are in love with her?" Nikki questioned.

"God no," Karen quipped. "I can't tell her something like that. She means everything to me."

"The woman slept with you," Nikki explained. "If she didn't feel something why the hell would she have gone down that path? It doesn't make sense to me."

"I don't think she knew what she was doing. Sometimes we find ourselves doing things we never thought we were capable of doing. I don't even know if she remembers anything." Karen said. "I just remembering waking up next to her naked and I freaked out and left her there."

"Bloody hell," Nikki exclaimed. This was going to get weird, not to mention awkward when she runs into Yvonne she thought. "Bloody fantastic. My two mates inexplicable have a drunken shag, confounding my already fucked up brain with a knowledge that you have been harbouring a secret desire to hook up with a woman, mind you a woman who just happens to be your best mate. But heck, it was no big deal since you both were drunk and she might not even remember the sordid affair."

"I left before she woke up," Karen said. "This is so fuck up and I feel like she has been avoiding me this morning. What the hell do I do? Do I confront her about what happened or should I leave it alone? She might not even have any recollection."

"She needs to know how you really feel, maybe she feels the same." Nikki stated. She couldn't believe what happened but she wasn't totally surprised. She also had a feeling that Karen and Yvonne relationship was intense and different than your average mate, but it was still a shock for her. "I don't believe for a moment that she doesn't remember. You two need to sort your feelings for each other before you continue the catastrophe of your relationship and ruin the best thing you have in your life."

"I can't lose her friendship." Karen said. "I would die if I lost her. She means everything to me."

"You won't lose her." Nikki replied. "Yvonne is stubborn by fault, but I know for certain that she loves you and would be lost if you were not in her life."

"We are talking about Yvonne." Karen said. "You know how stubborn she is and she always is in avoidance."

"Yeah, I guess you are right." Nikki thought for a moment. "But, I also know you two have had many arguments and have survived. I think you two need to wake up and realise what is most important and do something about it. You two belong together. Why it has taken this long is beyond reason, but now I realise that what I felt between you two wasn't something in my imagination."

"The thing is Nikki," Karen said. "When Yvonne mentioned that she slept with a girl back when she was young, well that someone was me."

"It just gets better." Nikki shook her head.

"We were both young and foolish and in an experimental age and we told ourselves that it was a one-off thing." Karen said, sighing. "Then she met Charlie and the rest is history."

"Yeah, that sure worked. She is unhappy in her marriage and I believe it's because of you. There is so much more to the story."

"I tried to have relationship with men but I can't seem to find someone to care about as much as I care about Yvonne. I'm not gay. I mean I'm not like you." Karen replied.

"Nice to define yourself," Nikki laughed. "It doesn't matter what label you want to put on yourself. You're in love with a woman, mind you, a woman you lusted over so many years, and you're worried about whether you'd be labelled gay or not."

"That is not what I meant." Karen stated. "I don't want to feel like I have to fit into a category. Why does everything have to be so complicated?"

"I know it is," Nikki stated. "I'm not here to judge you. I hate labels myself but you don't need to worry about what others might think of you. It's only complicated if you allow yourself to get caught up in all that shite. The fact is you are in love with a woman and what that makes you is irrelevant. Don't let yourself worry about the details and concentrate on what's important. You need to follow your heart and tell her how you really feel about her. Obviously, she must feel something for you. I see the way she looks at you."

"Don't be rash." Karen remarked, feeling stupid. Was she just fooling herself? She has been in avoidance for so long maybe she forgot how to live in reality. What did that make her? What did she really fear? Other's judging her or being rejected by Yvonne. Was it that simple? Did the real fear lie within herself? Then the thought of wasted years depressed her. How was she supposed to act in front of Yvonne? The only person she truly loved and wanted to spend her life with.

"Fine, play it your way, but you cannot stop the force within you." Nikki said, running her fingers through her hair.

"Please don't mention any of this to Yvonne." Karen pleaded. "I would die of embarrassment."

"You're secret is safe with me, but honestly Karen, you should tell Yvonne." Nikki said. "Why prolong your agony? Don't sell yourself short. Just tell her how you really feel."

"I can't." Karen said defeated. "I just can't."

"What about Jim? You know that bastard won't give up."

"I told him to piss off but that sodding bastard is up my backside any chance her gets."

"It's Jim Fenner," Nikki laughed. "The man is a slimy git who doesn't take rejection well."

"Well, I was never happy with him," Karen confessed. "I was trying to forget my feelings and Jim seemed like someone who can make me forget."

"Well that didn't work." Nikki rolled her eyes.

"I will think of something because right now, I can't handle all this shite." Karen said, breathing air into her restricted lungs. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle her current predicament.

"Hey, I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on." Nikki said, putting her hand on Karen's shoulder. She knew Karen was confused and allowed her judgment to get clouded but she needed to support her even if she felt that the situation was unwise. She had other problems to worry about. She knew she had to put up a fake smile to Helen before she headed to her office. And then she thought of Monica. There was still no change in her condition. She knew she needed to do something. Where did Monica come from? Why was she such a mystery? She knew it was wrong but she had a plan. After-all, she was only thinking about Monica's future.

Helen sat in her chair looking over an envelope as she thought about Nikki. She looked over her phone contemplating whether she should call Nikki, but something kept her from dialing the numbers. She was feeling off and she knew she felt anxious how to act around Nikki. She knew she was probably overreacting but she didn't like how they left things. She was still confused and wondered if lying to Sean was right. She knew she was not happy with him but her feelings for Nikki was all consuming that she had to at least give herself time. Deep down inside she knew that she had to break off the engagement and focus on what she needed. Lying to Sean, Nikki and everyone was becoming a strain and she needed to focus on work and trying to stop the killings. But how could she begin to focus when she knew she needed Nikki's help. She told herself that her personal life would have to wait as she tried to solely focus on work. If only she could. She sighed and looked at the envelope again. The investigation was about to get complicated and she sensed an unease about the envelope she held. Apprehension crept up and Helen took a deep breath as she dialed the phone. "Jim, can you scour the front and see if Nikki has arrived. If so, can you bring her to my office? Thanks." Helen placed down her phone, her nerves slightly tattered. She wasn't sure if seeing Nikki was making her nervous or if the fact that the envelope she held in her hand was troublesome?

Nikki leaned against the wall, smoking her fag. She played in her mind how she was going to act in front of Helen. She was going to be impassive and arms-length. She played each scenario in her mind, each resulting in the same conclusion; a no-win solution. In truth, she had no clue how she was going to act or how she was going to manage her emotions.

"Wade, stop whatever you're doing. Stewart wants to see you in her office," Jim Fenner shouted to Nikki who was ignoring him.

"What for?" Nikki asked, showing her poker-face. She wasn't sure if Fenner was only trying to provoke her or just being a duff she knew him to be. "I don't take orders from a complete duffer like you. Take the piss."

"I don't have time for your snide remarks. Do I look like a messenger to you? I was told to find you and drag your sorry arse if needed." Fenner was impatient. He was peeved on the fact that he couldn't prove that Nikki dyke Wade was the reason Karen broke off their relationship. He blamed her for turning Karen against him. In fact he was pissed off he could've almost killed someone.

Nikki threw a nasty glare over at him. She was glad that Karen pissed him off. What a sore loser she thought to herself. Then she followed Fenner to the Helen's office. What was this about? Why didn't Helen just ring her? This act seemed cold. She knew things were tense since the moment Helen left her loft. She wondered how Helen was going to act in front of her.

Jim knocked on Helen's door before opening it. "I managed to drag her here but she was putting up a fight, god know why," Jim said with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Thank you Jim. I'll call you when I'm ready." Helen said and her voice was strained as she got up nervously from her desk.

"I'm not sure can I leave you alone with that one. God knows what could happen," he said with a clod voice and then continued. "Well Helen, don't be alone too long with that dyke?" He looked at Helen who had now started to blush. Not because of embarrassment but because of a rising anger.

"You dodgy bastard. Afraid you'll appear to others as a Nancy-boy. Go blow out of your arse you eejit." Nikki hissed to him but Jim pushed her away.

"That's enough Jim. Now get the hell out of my office," Helen shouted when she finally lost her temper. "And unofficially Jim, you have no right to speak to Nikki like that, understand. You might have your head so far up Stubberfield's arse, but I am still in charge, and keep that gob of yours shut if you don't want to see yourself demoted. And don't even try to cross me." She condemned to him before banging the door shut.

"I could kill him sometimes." Helen whispered mostly to herself. She opened the door again to make sure Fenner wasn't spying them. Then she turned back to Nikki. Those smiling brown eyes were now staring at her and as always they saw straight to her soul.

"Hello Helen," Nikki said quietly. She wanted to be formal, and unfeeling, but looking into those green eyes melted her like butter.

"Look Nikki," Helen wanted to talk about what happened the previous night but Nikki shook her head.

"Don't explain anything," Nikki said, raising her hand up, "I know what you are going to say and believe me I had time to think and I just want to say that I want us to remain friends. I don't want whatever happened to ruin our working relationship."

"But…can you just forget what happened?" Helen said, realising she didn't want to forget but she knew she was confused and it wasn't fair to expect Nikki to understand.

"I don't want to forget. But I think we both realised that under the current situation, what we were doing was wrong." Nikki felt sick in her stomach. What she was saying was a lie, but she knew she had no choice but to leave Helen to find her own way. If it was only going to be friendship, then she needed to accept. Pressuring Helen was not going to make her feel better and she didn't want Helen to make a decision based on guilt.

"I'm really sorry Nikki for everything." Helen said feeling emotional. "I care so much about you but I need to find myself. Do you understand?"

"Considering my perceptive mind," Nikki laughed crudely. "I appreciate your honesty, but apologetic words are less endearing. However, pessimistic our situation appears, confession of love need not apply. So let's leave whatever tattered emotions we had in a beautiful state of suspended animation."

"Nikki," Helen implored. "Let's not lessen the experience." She knew she had no right to expect anything from Nikki, but hearing her words seemed to suggest a moment in time.

"I besieged you," Nikki questioned. "Please, let us not rehash what is in the past. I simply wanted to keep that memory from souring."

"Cheeky," Helen looked straight into Nikki's eyes. Even though she knew what Nikki was saying was true, the truth still stung. "I don't know what to say, but I hope we can overcome this obstacle…"

"Is that a half-arsed attempt? Don't worry," Nikki said, her voice shaky. "We'll be alright. Promise. Now why did you want to see me right away?"

"I needed to talk to you," Helen said trying not to sound pleased. She was happy just to have Nikki in front of her without feeling the need to run the other direction. She missed Nikki even though time had barely passed, yet at the same time, she needed to keep herself from falling apart in front of the dark hair beauty. All she wanted to do was get on with things but life was never that easy. "Please, sit down." Nikki sat down and Helen walked behind her desk. She sat down as well and took an envelope from her drawer.

"I got this a couple of hours ago. A letter from our killers. It's not postmarked." Nikki looked down shocked at the envelope in Helen's hand and then back up at Helen's eyes.

"What did it say?" Nikki asked feeling insecure of speaking. "So the game has begun."

"I only read the note but it said not to open the folder. Only to give it to you." Helen whispered. "Do you know what it could be about? And why is it specifically addressed to you?"

"I'm just as confused as you are Helen," Nikki couldn't believe her ears. "Believe me, I'm just as surprise as you. But I get the feeling I'm connected in some way. And I also believe that book Malleus Maleficarum was delivered to me for a reason and not some random act. They are trying to send a message. If so, why. Should I open it," Nikki said, looking up and waiting for a response.

"I've been racking my brains, but I won't say that this doesn't concern me. I'm afraid that it might get in the wrong hands. I don't like where this is going. But if you are right about the killer working in the force, then we need to be very careful. This is getting personal." Helen feared for Nikki's life. She was trying not to show fear but the thought of losing Nikki was heartbreaking. Considering everything that was unfolding. "We need to know what we are up against."

"You're right," Nikki weakly smiled as she opened the folder. "Let's find out what we are dealing with no matter what happens. And something tells me this is just the beginning. Why do I get the sense that these killers are evolving."

"If you are correct then I get a bad feeling that the body count will rise quickly." There was a knock on Helen's door as Dominic entered, his face showing signs of someone who hasn't slept much.

"Helen," Dominic said, his voice strained. "They found another body."

"Shite," Helen exclaimed. "Round the team and wait for my orders."

"Of course," Dominic replied before heading off.

Nikki looked over at Helen who looked weary. "We can open the envelope later. I know things are a little tense but we should get together tonight, perhaps at your place and go through everything. We must be missing something." Nikki said, trying not to sound as if she wanted to get Helen alone.

Helen thought about it for a moment. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea being along again with Nikki so soon after what happened but Nikki was right. They needed time to go through things. She told herself it was only for the investigation and they were still friends. She still wanted Nikki in her life. She just wasn't ready for the complication that came with it.

Nikki sensing Helen's hesitation replied, "Listen Helen," she spoke calmly, "I know you're a little weary about what happened earlier, but let's put that behind us and focus on the investigation. If you would prefer you could go through it with Dominic."

"No, it's okay," Helen replied, realising Nikki was just trying to put her at ease. "You're right. What if I come by later tonight at your place and we can go through the envelope and hopefully figure out where are killers are going."

"Are you sure?" Nikki asked, a slight hesitation on her part.

"Listen Nikki," Helen said. "I don't want to feel awkward and I value your input and right now we both need each other if we are going to stop these killers."

"We will stop them," Nikki said, giving Helen a weak smile. "All we need is to put our collective heads together. We need to let them think they are smarter than us."

"Well right now they are two steps ahead of us," Helen replied.

"True," Nikki grinned. "But we are also clever and won't stop until we catch them."

"Okay, my junior detective," Helen smiled. "We have a crime scene to attend."

"Just drag her inside," He said to his companion. "Get the damn door idiot," He ordered, feeling aggravated and irritable.

"With all due respect," his companion began to say, pleading his situation, arm extended. "You don't need to use those words on me. I'm not a child."

"Enough, already with your whining. You're acting like a spoiled child. We have work to do so stay focus." His rage grew.

"You never listen to me, alright. I just wanted a little respect. I don't understand why you are acting insensitive."

"Shut your gob. Don't want to hear you complain. Understand me?" He nodded over to companion. "Get her on the table and restrain her before she regains her conscience." He retreated a chair next to the window, which was painted black. It was only a matter of seconds before the girl started to arise. She winched her eyes, still blurry from her wet tears and she scanned the room and realised she was strapped down on a table, her arms and legs unable to move. She wanted to scream but the words in her head did not reach her mouth. It took her a few more seconds before she felt her words come through her throat.

"Please don't kill me." The girl pleaded to unsympathetic eyes that looked at her as if he knew something awful was about to happen.

"Shut your gob."

She hesitated unsure what was happening. "Please, I beg you mercy."

"I said, shut your gob." He walked towards the table, looked at the girl, pulled her hair, followed by a backhand slap to her face for emphasis.

She cried out in pain as the tears felt hot on her face. She instantly knew she was never going home and a million thoughts went through her mind. The love ones she would never see again. She wondered how it all happened. Was this her end? "I'm only sixteen, please…"

"Shut up whore and listen, understand?" He backed up, glancing over to his companion, nodding toward the workbench. He turned around, picked up some duct tape, which he handed over to his companion. "Here, take care of this. I don't want to hear her screams."

Her eyes filled with terror, raw anxiety of the brittle unknown. "Oh, please – I...," she tried speaking further but her mouth was slapped with fresh duct tape. The sound of the power drill being turned startled her.

He now stood before her with the drill vibrating inches away from her face. "Does this frighten you?" He sneered. "Would you like confess your sins? I regret to inform you that you have engaged in the Seven Deadly Sins; Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth." He preached. "For you there is no repentance for sin, no forgiveness for lust, and no salvation for your obvious sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery." He replied with madness

She tried to cry out her innocence but to no avail as it didn't matter if she was pure. In his mind she was just as guilty as the other women who engaged in idolatry and witchcraft.

"Your hatred, discord, jealousy, selfish ambition, orgies are not sectarian and those who live like that will not inherit the Kingdom of God." He looked at her. "Do you confess to your wickedness?"

She frantically shook her head, her sounds, uneasy breathing forcing congestion through her nose.

"Need more breathing room, huh?" He sneered. He was enjoying the terror in her eyes.

She cried, coughed out between attempted screams. She had no control over much of her body. An unconditional resignation, leaving no doubt what was to come.

He picked up the power drill again with an almost delicate touch, without saying a word, glanced over to his companion, who was looking uneasy with the whole scenario. He could hear his companion breathing unevenly as the look in his eyes, glossed over seemed menacing. He noticed he looked different. He could not put his finger on it but something was different about him. This wasn't how they did things. It was always clean and precise but he knew that tonight the killing would be messy and unsettling. He wondered what was going through his companion head. He sensed things would change as he looked at the girl who was drawing a pleading look in her eyes. Then, he felt himself weave into some vital cocoon, protecting himself from the ugly truth, trying to shield the echoes on her screams - in some widening dimension, allowing himself to be away – yet there, at the very same instant. There was no escape from reality.

The nagging hum of the drill tunnelled on her knee, then like an incision through as if he was cutting bread as the blood sprayed his hands. Her nose now bubbled out mucous. He spoke in halting terms on how it had to be, "See, all this could be avoided if you went with our terms, and not with the sinners. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthy nature…because of these, the wrath of God is coming." Then irrational the drill continued next to with shoulders, upper body rolling from side to side, and then her head, the muffled sounds of rank pain and fear. His companion wanted to pull on his arm, somehow plead for a mercy kill. In this confinement, this suspended place that drew him in through some membrane of ease, as it were, he became dumb, tone deaf, to this reality.

The smell of burning bone, torn cartilage, corroded his thoughts in an unusual way. The odd thought rose, maybe he could stop this madness. He knew he was the weak one compared to his companion. Then it hit him, he was fearful. The unpleasant thought crept his mind. What if his companion grew tired of him? But they were both killers…would he eventually suffer the same out-come? Was this retribution for his gruesome participation of killing? He was a man of books and knowledge and he knew right from wrong. Still a part of him was wicked and cruel and enjoyed killing, yet at the same time, tonight was different.

"I will need you to clean up after I am done." He nodded. For a moment, he felt stupid and inept. All he did tonight was watch and now he was left to the cleaning duty. They always did the killing together. Somehow, tonight was different. But why? He knew not to ask so he shrugged his shoulders and waited for a sign.

"What information do we have so far," she said with a chuckle. Then a very long pause. "Although I was hoping for better results to report, there is little left for recourse." Nikki took a step closer. "Do you have any idea how long she had been here?" Put me out of my misery she thought to herself as she tried to stay focus.

"Judging by her skin colour," Zandra replied, still staring down at the dry puddle of blood. "A few days is my guess."

"This victim was methodical placed," Nikki said. "He painstakingly positioned her as if she was posing for a still. What is he trying to tell us?"

Helen coughed and groaned a bit. "Still no closer to understanding all this shite," she winced as her words felt painful as she noticed from the corner of her eye how intently Nikki was looking at her. "What else can you tell about her?" Helen nod in her direction.

"Something odd about this victim." Nikki replied advancing as she allowed herself to think about the kiss, the touch, but Helen stepped in front of her, almost breaking her concentration and bringing her back to reality.

"Careful where you step, Nikki," Helen stated dryly.

Nikki managed to lift her head to get a glimpse of the voice in front of her, dazed as if she forgot where she was standing for a moment. She could hear Fenner in the background barking words at her in the shadows. "Sorry," Nikki said, remembering that she was at a crime scene and she needed to stay focus.

"Well, well, well…" Jim managed a half-hearted smile. "You sure got 'em fooled. Hell, I was even anointing you." He sneered at Nikki. "Even the Goddess herself can make mistakes." He said attacking Nikki with his invasive words

"Tell me something, Fenner," Nikki scoffed. "Are you always such a prick or do you like being a nosy-parker?"

"You sodding dyke." Jim said provoked. "Watch who you are talking to."

"Sure," Nikki spat to clear her voice. "I understand. You're a fatuous toad. But what I want to know is, when you got the royal boot from Karen, did you sleep that night or did you toss and turn like a sore loser we all know you are? Or did you get yourself another trollop? I hear you like the tart type. Michelle Dockley would be right up your alley."

No answer, but Jim's leer was intensifying.

"Let's keep our nerves calm and focus on the investigation." Helen said, trying to resolve the high tension between Nikki and Jim. Normally she would encourage Nikki, but she was trying to be professional. They were after-all, at a crime scene.

"Moi?" Nikki continued. "I was just getting started, but knowing I have to work with that chimpanzee, I cannot fathom why I even bother. That is, until you rationalized that selling out real detectives was a better career move. How do you sleep at night knowing your actions might impede our investigation or get someone killed?" She couldn't help but laugh. Nothing was funny about the situation, it was just a reaction. One that earned her a scorn look from Helen and a red-faced Jim, ready to lunge at Nikki.

Jim stepped closer. He removed a handkerchief from his pocket of his jacket, and raised a grin. "I sleep like a baby. But a dyke like you probably sleeps with her dildo. Go fuck yourself."

"Spoken like a true hero," Nikki ridiculed Jim ignoring Helen's icy stare. "Are you taking the piss? Did mommie not breast feed you so you keep to suckling a cow's nipple? Right, Karen bruise your ego and you just can't seem to get your head around your male bravado."

"That's enough you two," Helen finally said, having enough of what she was hearing. What came over Nikki? Her sharp tongue was all over the place. "I won't have personal attacks during an investigation."

"I can't be fagged," Nikki remarked flippantly. She would have the last word. She was feeling foul. "Don't mind me Helen. I promise to behave before you send me to her majesty's pleasure."

"Please Nikki," Helen said, trying to appease Nikki. "Can we just remain focus on the task at hand? I really need your help."

"Sorry, Helen," Nikki whispered, embarrassed by her actions. She was being rude, impatient and acting out. She knew her nerves were frayed and she was allowing her judgement to get clouded. "It won't happen again."

"What about me?" Jim cried out. "Where's my sympathy?"

Helen turned to look at Jim who looked like a scorned fool. "Really, Jim?"

"She is not even a Detective, yet you give her access and to top it off, you allow her to run her tongue." Jim said frustrated. "You must be shagging her."

"That's enough Jim," Helen said angrily. "Dominic," she shouted. "I want you and Jim to comb through the area. Look for anything that might be relevant."

Jim gave Helen an icy look before turning his attention to Dominic. Then before he walked away he turned to Nikki, "This isn't over."

"It is as far as I am concerned. Now bugger off and do your job." She said, grinning. Before a red-faced Jim turned away. She looked at Helen who did not seem amused. "Sorry."

Helen sighed and looked up wishing she could close her eyes. Then she remembered the envelope and her forehead wrinkled with worry. "What else do you see Nikki? What else can you tell us about this crime scene?" She felt the day was going to be stressful and then she remembered she was going over to Nikki's place later in the evening to discuss the investigation and what was in that envelope. Again, she wondered if being alone was the smart thing to do. Even though her head told her she needed to get on with things, her heart could not stop the longing.