Emmett didn't need to turn around to know she was there. Her heartbeat gave her away. As did that scent. Emmett didn't turn around. He shut his eyes. With each beat of her heart her scent saturated everything, tainting the air and rousing his monster. His muscles tensed. He held his breath. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub. That damned scratching under the surface, that impatient, desperate clawing increased with each beat of her heart along with his ire. He could feel it simmering and churning. Emmett mentally scolded himself. Don't be so chickenshit. She's just a woman. That wasn't true. He was just a man. Nothing more, nothing less. She was everything. He hated it. He didn't even know why he was still here, he should have left already.
"What do you want?"
"You've been avoiding me." No shit.
Anala stepped forward. The bed dipped slightly as she moved across it. The house was quiet. Carlisle was at work, Esme and Rosalie at the grocery store for appearances, Alice had left for the mall that morning and Edward was with Bella. Jasper had been gone for two days, along with Nolan. Emmett was alone. With her. His eyes rolled heavenward. Why God? Why did you make me stay? She moved until she was next to him. Her small hand was on his bicep. Emmett didn't dare move. Warm fingers molded to the muscles beneath his shirt. Anala's breaths trembled and Emmett ignored his body's reaction. Her hand moved slowly; up his arm, across his chest, up his neck to cradle his cheek. Emmett inhaled as his eyes fluttered shut. Her pulse was loud in his ear, her blood whispering secrets.
"Em," came the sigh.
His eyes opened as he looked at her. She was so close. He counted each individual hair that shaped her full lashes, tried to identify each hue of green and thought of fall leaves when he spotted the golden specks. Her eyes peered into his, scanned his face. Her scent was overwhelmingly good and venom pooled in his mouth. Her thumb stroked his cheek and cosmic emerald eyes stared into the deepest recesses of his soul, reflected in the red of his eyes. She leaned in and he let her. Plump lips, soft and warm, touched his and he let them. Emmett felt the electrifying energy that shot through his being as he turned his body towards her. Returning the kiss, tasting her, a moment of helplessness. Twenty-two months, two weeks, thirteen hours. Not including the months before her death. Images accompanied it; images of skin and heat and lust. Anala's breath caught and Emmett couldn't stop his satisfaction. He pulled back before he lost it and looked at her passively.
"Is that what you wanted?"
"I wanted to see you. I didn't think I ever would lay eyes on you again." Neither did him. Emmett needed to get away from her.
"What made you think I wanted to see you?"
Her hands fell away, eyes saddening. He didn't miss the touch, not at all. "You're angry with me."
Of course he was fucking angry. He wanted to destroy everything. He wanted to disremember her face. He wanted to go back to that day in the parking lot of Fork's high school, home of the goddamn Spartans, and shake his past self. To point to Anala and say forget it, don't do it, she'll end you. His inner monster was roaring, struggling to get out, screaming at him.
She's mine.
She's mine.
She's mine!
Emmett shoved it down. Anala shifted.
"Won't you at least talk to me?"
"And say what exactly?" That her return had tilted his world? That looking at her was physically painful? That he was a monster? And then what? Emmett didn't even want to be here. He could've been half way across the planet by now. Bored maybe, but at least he wouldn't be feeling . . . this. Except she kept him here. Here in this place, filled with memories of her. Memories that were blissful and heavenly and others were his own personal hell, images that haunted his mind and never left him alone. They hissed at him, picking and pointing at his failures like cruel twisted school children. It all just fueled the fire, charging on the infernos of the furious storm. But . . . he couldn't forget. He couldn't forget the first time he saw her, how she ensnared him completely; a beautiful and sad mystery. He couldn't forget the first time he kissed her, hooked from the first touch of her lips. He could never forget hearing her moan his name the first time he showed her exactly what he needed from her, what she did to him. Each smile and sweet nothing she'd whisper in his ear. The sound of her laugh. It had all meant nothing in the end.
Emmett's fists curled.
It was quiet for a long moment. "Were you at least happy? That's all I ever wanted for you."
Emmett had to stop and wonder if that was a serious question. Happy? Was he happy? A dry, humorless chuckle left him. "Yeah. It's been fucking swell. I even won the lotto. Twice."
A hint of amusement touched her voice. "Liar."
He stood, body coiled like a pressurized spring and moved away from her, to the door and out into the hall. She followed after him and Emmett just wanted her to go away. Why was she testing his restraint? No, why did she weaken it?
"Emmett, please." Her voice wavered. "I—I just want to know what happened to you."
Emmett whirled with lightning speed and she stopped, not expecting it. He glared at her. "You want to know what happened to me?" he grabbed her and Anala gasped as he slammed her against the wall. His hands gripped her upper arms and his glare pinned her there, his fury reaching hazardous levels. "You happened. You came into my world like a dream, dragging me deeper and deeper. You became a necessity, my obsession. I had my purpose and was happy and you ripped it away."
Her voice was soft, shaky. "I couldn't do anything."
He roared and his fist went through the wall next to her before he grabbed her once more. "That's shit! I could've helped you! I would have kept you safe. But you were thinking of yourself," Anala shook her head fervently, tears falling down her cheeks. He continued, too enraged to stop. "Did you even think what that would do to Nolan? To me? You were selfish and now you say you couldn't do anything? You didn't even try!"
Anala sobbed. "I had no choice! I was meant to die! I didn't want it to end that way but I can't regret it and I sure as hell can't take it back. I don't want to, Emmett. I was with you, had you in my life. I got to die knowing you would live—that everyone I loved would live. It was bigger than just us. I only wanted you to know the truth. I did what I had to."
He snorted in disgust. Pain left a bitter feeling in him and fused to his voice. "I would have followed you, you know. I would have died with you if there was nothing we could do."
"No." there was that stubborn streak he loved and hated. "And there wasn't."
"How the fuck would you know?!" he bellowed, before he clenched his jaw. He slowly released her, knowing he'd hurt her unintentionally out of anger if he didn't. "I mourned you. I grieved in agony until I could dull the pain and you come back, tearing that wound open . . . destroying me all over again." His voice lowered, cooling as his eyes stared into her own.
"You should have stayed dead."
Emmett regretted the words as soon as the last syllable left his lips. Anala's tear-filled eyes dulled suddenly and a horrid feeling stabbed his heart as his demon whined at the look on her face. Anala lightly touched his chest, hand warm on his own heated skin beneath his shirt. "I'm sorry Emmett." The touch fell away and Anala wasn't looking at him anymore, instead looking away from him, her hair obscuring her face.
"I'm so sorry."
Nolan's pencil tore through the paper as the led snapped. He swore and threw the pencil aside, scrambling to find another. One that wouldn't fuck up his paper. His thoughts were disorientated so he tried to do what he'd been taught. Organize. Strategize. The result? Paper littered the walls and floor, covered in ink and lead. His frustration grew and he stood, scanning the walls, rummaging through a pile next to him. He needed to unclutter his head. He paused, thinking. He traced his fingers over a symbol. It was on too many of them, all on a corner of various pages, some littered entire sheets. What was it? Nolan rubbed his forehead. Fuck, his head hurt. His mind reached but couldn't find the answer. It all linked back to Anala. All the tiny little pieces connected somehow. That much Nolan knew with absolute certainty. However he didn't even know what was on the pages anymore, as if to suggest he even knew what was on them when he started. He laughed lowly. Scribbles of a madman. Just great.
It's not right.
It's not right.
"It's not right." He moved away from the desk, pacing back towards the door. He leaned against it. Maybe if he got a bit of perspective. He scanned his eyes along the map of paper slowly. What was he missing? A knock vibrated through his back. "Nolan?"
"What?"
"Open the door."
"I can't. Not yet." It's not right.
"Nolan you need to eat something." Nolan went back to the desk and picked up one of Anala's sketchbooks. There had to be something he wasn't seeing. He bit his thumb nail in agitation.
"Nolan!" He threw the book at the distracting door and picked up another from the desk. He could hear a growl and the door suddenly opened, tilting oddly. Didn't I lock that? He dismissed the thought. It wasn't important anymore. He flipped through the pages quickly, stopping occasionally to scan his own work.
"Oh my god."
"No that's not it either." What a horrible suggestion. Think.
"Nolan what is this?" Nolan looked up. When did Jasper get here?
"I need to think."
Someone else was in the doorway, coming inside. Carlisle, then Edward. This wasn't going to work. There were too many people, distractions. Their voices were in his ears and Nolan couldn't focus anymore. He tossed the book on the desk and turned to them. "What? What do you want? I can't think with you talking to me." He was met with blank looks.
"Nolan what are you doing?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm trying to think." He turned back to the walls. "It's still not right."
"What isn't right?"
Jasper was pulling him back, out of the room. Nolan tried to tug his hand out of his grip but the stupid, sexy blonde wouldn't give. Jasper lead him downstairs and into the kitchen. Nolan supposed he was serious about the eating thing. He pushed him into a stool at the island and Nolan's fingers tapped on the smooth counter. It nagged at him. Like a deep itch that couldn't be satisfied and before anyone know what happened, they'd have scratched through their flesh and muscle to get at it. He ran his hand through his hair. There was more to this. There had to be. Everything had been fine, perfect. He had his sister back. But it wasn't . . . right. He could physically feel it. His thoughts were crowding his head again. "I'm not hungry." He stood and cold hands pushed him back down.
"Don't you dare."
Nolan tsked in agitation. A plate of something delicious smelling was put in front of him. Jasper sat next to him and gave him an uncompromising look. "Eat."
Jasper looked like he would happily shove a funnel down his throat and make him eat it. He picked up his fork.
"Fine. Fix the door."
"I wouldn't have broken it if you'd opened it."
"I wouldn't have had to not open it if you hadn't freaked out and simply left me alone."
His dark eyes flashed. "I wouldn't have had to go up there in the first place if you hadn't been holed up there for the last forty-eight hours being an obsessive maniac!" Checkmate. Damn it Jas. He shoved a forkful of food in his mouth and Jasper relaxed some.
He is lucky I love him.