"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

-T. S. Eliot

Sheldon slowly pushed the door open and his head peeked inside. There sitting up on the bed was his Meemaw reading one of her favorite books, Wuthering Heights. He looked past her current appearance, which was frail and exhausted, and took one step closer to her. He hadn't seen his Meemaw for a long time, and their reunion being at a hospital was a bit distressing. Reaching the foot of the bed, Meemaw lowered the book down to her lap, and smiled at the sight of her grandson. "Nice of you to come all the way back home on such short notice, Moonpie."

He teared up and wrapped his arms around his grandmother the tightest that he could. Meemaw patted her hand on Sheldon's back as he drained away the tears that welled up. "Moonpie, don't cry. No need to worry anymore. I'm awake and still alive." Sheldon pulled back and wiped his eyes.

"I apologize for my sudden outburst of emotions. I promise to have more control over them," Sheldon said as he straightened himself. "Do you need anything? May I offer you a hot beverage? I could walk to the nearest coffee shop and order your usual coffee."

Meemaw brushed a piece of his hair away from his face. "You don't have to do that. Come, take a sit next to me." She pointed to a chair that was against the wall and Sheldon brought it over beside her bed. "How is my favorite grandson doing? Any mean bullies back in California that need a little talking to? You know I don't tolerate people messing with my Moonpie."

Sheldon chuckled as he recalled growing up and being picked on frequently. There was this one instance when Sheldon came home from school and one of the school kids followed him to where he lived. The next day, Sheldon woke up to the sound of his parents' yelling after finding out that their house had been teepeed. He urged his parents to press charges in hopes of the perpetrator to leave him alone, but it only made things worst at school. Meemaw set the boy straight when she managed to stumble upon him with his family. He never bothered Sheldon again, and Sheldon named Meemaw as his hero.

"I have been worrying ever since Missy contacted and informed me about your current situation. I was nervous on my way here that I couldn't get a proper REM sleep on the plane and ended up making Penny stay up longer than she needed to. I'm just glad you're fine," Sheldon answered, losing his breath by the end of the sentence.

Meemaw smiled sweetly. "I've never heard of a 'Penny' in your life before. Is she someone new you're seeing?"

Sheldon lowered his head and opened his mouth, but couldn't get himself to tell the actual truth. "No, Meemaw. I have resumed my relationship with Amy. Can we not talk about this?"

"You're still with that Amy, I see," Meemaw said, causing Sheldon's head to shoot up and meet her gaze.

"Don't you like Amy?"

She scooted closer towards her grandson and placed her hand on his shoulder. "She's a wonderful woman, Moonpie. I do like her. She's very... interesting. I remember meeting her once when you two flew down here to Galveston. She's smart and caring."

Sheldon's eyes roamed around the room before focusing them back to his grandmother. "Why do you sound as if you are surprised that we are still together?"

"You wrote to me once about Amy and how you are afraid of how she was going to leave you because she wanted a physical relationship. I know you, Moonpie. I know how germs can get to you and I understand you have trouble with them. I could not help but be a bit concerned after reading your letter. She should not be pushing you into do things you do not want. That is not what love is all about. It's about patience and respect, and the understanding of one another. Now, why are you still with her?"

Sheldon wanted to run away and lock himself somewhere in the hospital, but he knew if he didn't confront the topic at that moment, he may regret it later. Meemaw was the only person in his life that he could be open to. Well, now it was her and Penny. He took a deep breath and relaxed his nerves. "About two months ago, I was mugged in the middle of the night and left outside to die. Penny was the woman who came by and resuscitated me, thus saving my life. As a result of the incident, I lost a majority of my memory, including those I shared with Amy. Amy was upset by all of this. Our relationship was slow-moving and it was a couple months back when I first initiated a kiss on her. She was afraid that we may need to start all over and she wasn't sure she could wait that long. Amy decided to leave when she promised she wouldn't, but I had Penny by my side. Penny and I had gotten close ever since the accident, and I appreciate her being in my life. As time passed, I found myself having feelings for Penny. I revealed them to her but she wasn't interested in being in a relationship at that moment. Recently, I've noticed that she had begun to reciprocate the same feelings. Two weeks ago, I was hit in the head which caused all my memories to come back. All my routines, schedules, habits, and idiosyncrasies. Everything. As well as my incredibly high intolerance for change. After remembering everything, I had to get my old life back. Though I was questioning my friendship with the Leonard, Howard, and Rajesh, I seemed to let it pass by. I couldn't deal with the change of them not being in my life. Same goes to Amy. She came back and apologized, and I forgave her somehow. She had made herself an important person in my routines that I can't bear to lose her. Although she loves me, I do not love her back."

All Meemaw could do was offer a comforting side hug. "Have you lost feelings for this Penny?"

Sheldon shook his head and stared down at his hands. "That's the complicated part. I want to court her and be her boyfriend, but the person I am is making things harder."

"I see you care about her."

"I do. She is kind and caring. Compassionate and sweet. She's been on my side ever since we've met. Penny understands me and we trust each other with everything. The times when I'm in pain, she was there to make things a little bit happier. She makes me smile when we spend the day together. I cannot let her go, but what about my routines? There is no way to predict her actions. She's spontaneous and chaotic. I fixate on things too much and I can't seem to distance myself away from it."

Meemaw gave Sheldon another smile. "You're with the wrong woman, Moonpie. You love Penny, not Amy, dearie."

Love Penny? Sheldon hadn't really thought about it that much, and it scared him. He didn't want to upset Amy, but he didn't want to upset himself and Penny. "May I know how you came up with that conclusion?"

"It's simple. I've never heard you talk about Amy like that."

"I have," Sheldon protested, but had the slight idea that he hadn't. "I like Amy because she is an intellectual human being with a successful career. She removes all the Brazil nuts from the Planters mixed nuts so that I don't have to look at them. We talk about the latest scientific achievements every night as we down a cup of tea."

"Oh, Moonpie. You don't have to be with someone just because they eat the nuts you don't like. Doesn't she challenge you?"

"Of course not. Her IQ, although quite higher than average, is a few points below mine. I don't see how she could challenge me."

Meemaw gave him a nod. "Do you see yourself with her in the distant future as your wife and mother of your children?"

He thought for a moment, and swore that his brain was about to explode from all the pondering he had done right now about his life. When he met Amy, she seemed to be emotionless and awkward. He related to her, as they both had trouble with the simplest of social conventions. As years passed by, Amy changed. She wanted to coax more affection out of him than he was willing to give. She yearned to be touched and Sheldon thought it was unsanitary. Yet, Amy still stayed. She stayed because he was the only man back then that seemed to be okay with being in a relationship with her. Amy was waiting for something that was not bound to happen. Although he was a man and had the same baser urges as any other human being, he couldn't see himself surrendering them for Amy. He could only see her as a companion. A friend. An intellectual equal. But never in the four years that they've been together did he see her as his future wife or mother of his progeny.

"No," he breathed out quietly.

"Moonpie, I'm not telling you that once you come back home, you break things off with that woman. I'm only asking you to think about what you really want in life. You're getting older and I want you to do things that you'd regret later on for not doing. Hopefully, things will fall into the right places, and you understand all the wants and needs in your life. In addition, do not fear change. At times, change is for the better and one day you'll realize it's not that bad after all. "

After Meemaw finished, a nurse entered the room and informed the old lady that she needed to get some rest. Sheldon wanted to stay the night, but the nurse refused, saying that visiting hours were now over. He kissed her hand goodbye before leaving with the promise of being contacted if anything happens during the rest of the night. He then walked alone through the hallways with his Meemaw's words embedded into his mind.

Soon after leaving the room, he stumbled upon the waiting area and saw Penny sleeping uncomfortably on one of the seats as Mary and Missy spoke on the other side. Sheldon slowly approached her and brushed her blonde hair that covered her face away and then leaned down and kissed her forehead. It was painful for Sheldon when he understood that he wasn't brave enough to make the necessary changes in order to be with Penny.

He sighed for the umpteenth time that night. Sheldon wondered why he was born like this. He wondered why he didn't grow up with the mindset of a normal man, the one who was able to express his feelings freely without fear of drastic change coming at every corner. At times, he would curse himself for being this way. Sheldon would be lying if he said that he never once wished to become that kind of person. If he were like everyone else, he wouldn't have any problems navigating through everyday life. He wouldn't have to struggle with understanding sarcasm when it presented itself. He wouldn't have to scrub his hands clean every single time he came in contact with unfamiliar surfaces.

And he wouldn't have to hide away his true feelings for Penny.

A/N:

Next chapter will be up in two days and I'd like to thank you all again for the reviews! :)