"The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

-Christopher McCandless

Penny flew back to California a couple of days after and Sheldon thanked her for coming along with him, even if it was only for a short time. He opted to take a week off from work to tend his now frailer grandmother. Two days after the talk he had with his Meemaw, her health began to decline rapidly and she barely moved or spoke. Sheldon, although he refused to believe such thing until it happens, knew that her time was coming soon. He now had to be by her side at every minute of each day. He held her hand while reading the remaining chapters of Wuthering Heights to her and he would place the novel in front of his face to cover the tears that were falling down his face. He didn't want anyone to see him so vulnerable and emotional, but it was getting harder to control himself as the hour passes.

It was becoming unbearable for him to see her suffer, especially during the middle of the night when he could hear her coughing uncontrollably and gasping for air. He didn't care that he was at a hospital anymore and that there was a possibility of contracting some infectious disease. The concerns that were once there were gone for now as he concentrated on his Meemaw and caring for her every need. He'd stare at her as she slept, ignoring the pleas coming from his mother and sister about his time to rest up and eat. Dark circles had formed under his eyes after enduring sleepless nights. He was exhausted, only napping for two and a half hours at most. Apart from that, he was hungry. Sheldon had lost a bit of weight since he would eat little servings of food and throwing the rest away.

The only thing that kept him sane was Penny. After she had left, they remained contact by either text, email, or the occasional phone calls. Sheldon would speak to her for a few minutes since she was very busy with her new acting gig. Penny explained that though she cared for him and she wanted to comfort him through this hard time, she also needed to focus on her work and not get too distracted. She would send out a message during breaks but wouldn't respond until hours later. Sheldon understood and appreciated their communication, even if it's limited. Sheldon read his other messages from everyone else, including Amy, but he never texted or called them back. Penny seemed to be the only person able to help him control himself.

The sky outside was dark and his Meemaw was fast asleep. He sat on the seat closest to the bedside, reading a comic book he had brought with him from home. He felt his phone vibrate against the pocket of his slacks and so he pulled it out to read the message. It had been almost a day since he spoke to Penny and he missed her dearly. He smiled when he viewed the picture she had sent him of her with Stuart, Raj, Howard, and Wil at her apartment. We miss you, Sheldon, underneath the picture it said and Sheldon typed out a reply.

I miss you all as well. He pressed "send" and placed his phone on the table beside him. He heard his Meemaw toss around slightly on the bed and thought she was about to wake up. He leaned forward and held her hand, feeling that her body was cold. Sheldon walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a large blanket to place on top of the one she already had and as he sat back down, his phone buzzed once more. He checked his phone and saw that Penny had sent him a minute-long video.

Lowering the volume, he watched as each of his friends said a "hello" and gave a little wave. They were all watching his favorite episode of Star Trek, also mentioning that they wished that he too were there. Penny turned the camera to her face and smiled. "I hope you're alright back there in Texas, sweetie. I miss hanging out with you very much and once you come back, I promise to cook spaghetti with little pieces of hotdogs cut up in it. Sounds good right? We'll play Klingon boggle until one in the morning just like last time or simply watch a movie. Take care and I hope I'll have some time tomorrow to call you. Bye!" Penny moved the camera to show the others as they also said their goodbyes and the video ended.

"What a sweet girl she is," Sheldon jumped at the sound of Meemaw's raspy and quiet voice. He quickly put his phone away and stood next to her. "She seems like she can take good care of you, Moonpie."

Sheldon blushed and clasped his hands behind his back. "She already treats me well, Meemaw."

"I hope you two find what you need. I also have the sense that what she's feeling is what you are feeling, too."

"Hopefully, Meemaw. Is there something that you-"

The loud beeping of the heart beat monitor as well as one of the machines going off caused Sheldon to run outside to the hallway and call for a nurse. He stood at the back of the room biting his fingernails while a flood of doctors and nurses entered the room and surrounded the bed. As they worked to stabilize his Meemaw, Sheldon called his mother and told her to come down to the hospital immediately. He was tense and scared, wanting nothing more than to hold her hand again and pray to the deity he did not believe in to make her feel better. Sitting down on one of the seats closest to him, Sheldon covered his face with his hands as he tried not to burst into tears. Amidst the chaos in the room, he heard the doctors saying that the patient's blood pressure was dropping and her heart rate was becoming irregular.

Missy had walked in and rushed towards her brother's arms, burying her tearful face on his chest. He wrapped his arms around his sister's and tried to reassure her the best he could. Time seemed to freeze when the dreaded sound of the flat line echoed in his ear. He was still, quiet, and staring at the scene before him. He couldn't bring himself to say a word or make a move. It was as if everything around him stopped once she left his life forever. Missy's hysterical cries brought him back into reality, and without hesitation, Sheldon held onto his sister even tighter as he pressed his forehead on her shoulder and sobbed.

He didn't acknowledge the doctors apologizing for their loss. His Meemaw was gone, and even though he could be the smartest man alive in the world, he couldn't think of a way to get her back. The two siblings stayed standing, trembling in each other's arms as the tears had finally seized, but started to drop once more when Mary entered the scene and said goodbye to her mother for the final time. It was in his nature to control every aspect in his life, including the food he chooses to eat and even his bowel movements. The only thing he wanted control of but knew it was impossible to do so was death.

"At least she's free of pain and up there with your Pop-pop," Mary uttered as she held her two children. Sheldon noticed that George wasn't around to grieve along with them, but Missy reminded him that he had time to serve in jail and was only allowed to visit the hospital for that one night only. George had missed the death of his grandmother, and probably did not know of it since it happened unexpectedly.

Missy drove Sheldon and Mary back home before returning to her house. After settling in, Sheldon promptly and sluggishly climbed up the stairs and locked himself inside his bedroom. He lay down on his mattress and stared up at the ceiling, seeing the Spider-Man stickers he placed there when he was younger. The pillow's faint scent of green apples caused him to think about Penny and how she slept on his bed during her stay in Texas. He opted to sleep on the couch since Mary raised him as a gentleman, and knew it was right to give up his bed for a lady.

A while later, Sheldon dialed the number on his phone and waited for him to be answered. After the fourth ring, the familiar lively and bubbly voice that belonged to Penny caused him to smile, the first time he had done so after his Meemaw's death. "Hello, Penny. It's nice to hear from you again."

"Same here, sweetie! Where are you right now?" Penny asked on the other line.

He sat up on his bed, his back leaning against the pillows and wooden frame. "I'm currently at my mother's house."

"When did you get home from the hospital?" Her voice was laced with tiredness.

Sheldon slightly lowered his head down. "About thirty minutes ago."

"How's your grandmother?"

It was the question he expected to be asked and would regret to answer. He spoke quietly and softly, almost inaudible to Penny. "She passed away."

There was a long silent pause before he heard Penny's voice again. "I'm so sorry, Sheldon. I know exactly how you feel and being like that sucks. Do you need anything?"

"I'd like a hot beverage but seeming that you are 1,595 miles away, I'll ask someone else." Sheldon debated whether or not to request a certain idea on his mind. "There is something you can do to help cheer me up and it's completely optional, Penny. You don't have to do it."

"Anything," Penny said.

Sheldon sighed. "Will you sing me 'Soft Kitty'?"

"Oh, honey. I don't know that song."

"I can teach you."

Penny smiled on the other side of the line. She wanted to do anything that would make Sheldon feel better again. "Okay, go ahead."

Sheldon cleared his throat and began to sing the whole song on the phone. He repeated it once more for Penny's sake and she told him that she got it. As Penny started to sing, Sheldon felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach that appeared because of her sweet sounding voice. She wasn't a terrible singer, and frankly, he preferred her singing rather than his own mother or Amy. His mother's voice was fine, but she would act a bit sour whenever he told her to start from the top if interrupted. Amy's singing wasn't unpleasant, though he didn't like the husky voice she added to the song. Penny's voice was just right. When she finished, Sheldon resisted the urge to ask her to sing it once more. "Thank you, Penny. I appreciate it."

"Sheldon, just know I'm here for you. Take all the time you need to grieve."

He thanked her once more before exchanging their good nights. After he hanged the phone up, Sheldon retrieved his personal journal from the top of his shelf away from anyone's reach. He started writing about various experiences that had occurred to him at the age of ten. Every time he visited Texas and something interesting happened, he would write about it. The last entry was a year ago, discussing about a tenured position that had opened up at the university and how it was almost tearing his friends apart.

Picking up his pen, Sheldon wrote everything that was on his mind.

Death is unfair. You lived your entire life doing the many things you are capable of only to leave it all behind at the end. There are not enough words to describe exactly how we feel. Tonight, I lost my grandmother. My Meemaw. The person in my life who gave me some sense in our complicated world. She was the one that helped me understand at a young age that not everyone will be on your side. My work has been praised, as well as criticized. But I learned to live with it, knowing that I have a much better potential than others. The last words Meemaw spoke to me were "I hope you two find what you need. I also have the sense that what she's feeling is what you are feeling, too." I know she's encouraging me to do what's best for me, and what's best for me right now is to be with Penny.

I cannot be this kind of man. A man who is bound by a relationship agreement with a woman, only to harbor feelings for another. Amy loves me, but I do not. In life, we must accept our reality and not try to force something that will never be. At this point, I'm willing to alter my routines and schedule to make time for Penny. I have the urge to keep her by my side and spend as much time with her. I care about her too much that Amy is no longer the significant other in my life. I value her friendship, but she needs someone who is able to give her what she desires. Though I am capable of surrendering to my baser urges, I do not see myself sharing such physical intimacy with Amy. With Penny, there's a much greater possibility and if we do embark on a romantic relationship, it may occur in the foreseeable future.

Maybe Meemaw was right. Maybe I am indeed in love with Penny. I've never experienced love before so therefore, I am not a hundred percent sure. But if this truly what love is, then yes. I am willing to make Penny a priority. She's more important than video games or Thai food. It's an unfamiliar occurrence, and instead of hiding and avoiding it, I'll be standing and facing it. There's no reason to be scared or to question anything. I'm tired of being afraid of change. I had passed up too many experiences because of my fears and I'm not going to allow those fears dictate my actions.

It has been an interesting two and a half months. I am able to realize how much trust a person should obtain. I forgive Raj, knowing that he did not wish to partake in such ridiculous pranks led by the heinous Leonard. Howard is on his way to regaining my trust. He seemed to be as sorry as Raj. Leonard, on the other hand, is a different tale to tell for later on. Most of all, meeting Penny has made an impact in my life. Never have I yearned to be with another human being than right now.

Science does not give me compassion or total happiness. Numbers and equations only gives me the sense of achievement, but it doesn't make me feel loved, safe, appreciated, accepted, and understood. After meeting Penny, I have learned, felt, experienced more things than before and there's no doubt that there would be even more to discover once I pursue a relationship with the Nebraskan blonde that made a difference in my life.

-Sheldon Cooper, PhD.

A/N:

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! This was really difficult to write but I liked how it turned out at the end.

Next chapter: A reunion :)