"You knew it would happen."
Besides Anders' bitter whisper, the cellar full of wine-bottles and spiderwebs was silent. It was cool and damp inside, a welcome break from the broiling heat above. Anders found some satisfaction in the thought that Orsino's guards were stuck up there in a furious search for the First Enchanter.
But only some, and his lips remained a bitterly drawn line. "Hawke is to be respected, he's got more sympathy for our cause than most, but in the end he's just another noble, a normal person who doesn't understand the plight of the mages or represents them."
Before him, Orsino sat by a crudely hatched table stained by old wine-samples, head downcast, hands clenched into fists in front of him. The elf had yet to say anything about the meeting he'd gone to two weeks ago, but his stance made it all too clear what had happened.
Yet Hawke seemed pleased...no fighting over Aveline then? The lack of reaction was infuriating. For all of people's demands for justice, none but Donnic had truly searched for it, nor had the rage lasted long. Apathetic dregs, no sense of justice, no sense of what's right...they should have set the city aflame in search for the guilty! Not whined and then gone back to their lives! How can I start a war of freedom if no one cares enough to get up and fight!? "We might still have a use for him, but if you hope that he'll just do it out of the goodness of his heart, you're mistaken." He is all talk, not a true friend of the mages. Anders' mouth crinkled in disgust, knowing he would have to continue his charade of friendliness with the noble if he was to make use of him. Wasn't I once friends with him? The thought made him frown, it was hard to remember, that with the injustices of the world filling his mind to the brim.
A slow sigh escaped Orsino. "What can we do?" His eyes angry, the elf looked up at Anders. "I had such hopes and he...he took a 'maybe' for his own cause in exchange for an 'as likely as Tevinter converting' for our cause." The eyes swiftly turned desperate, the First Enchanter shaking his heads, clenched fists shaking. "I just...don't know what to do."
Anders, taking a step forward, put his hands down on the table, staring at the elf, making him look back up. "Join me! The time of talk and compromise is over! The time of the Circle is over! Our people must go free and it must be now! Together, we can free our people, here and elsewhere! We can start a revolution and make people give us our rights back!"
Orsino leant back, fright in his eyes, making Anders grumble at himself as he realised the glow of Justice had shone through his eyes as he'd spoken. Calm, Justice, calm...! The spirit, within nothing but a maelstrom of anger, roared back in his skull. Before him, Orsino, unaware of Anders' internal struggle, shook his head. "I cannot believe that, I must not belive that." Biting his lower lips, giving Anders a nervous look, the elf continued. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again...the Circle isn't bad, it's not...but Meredith...her rules...her beliefs..." The elf trailed off, shrugging.
The Circle isn't bad!? There will always be a Meredith! There will always be an injustice in the Circle! It's how it's designed, it's how the Chantry's designed! It's how the world view us! Anders didn't say it, his chest shaking within his robes in an effort to hold it back. Instead, he clamped down on the words of the righteous. We must be smart, Justice, cunning... "Very well, I can respect your position, and I'm sure you speak for all those within your Circle." Filthy cooperator...you want your fine position to remain, you're coddled by the templars in comparison to the others. Anders grit his teeth. "You want to stay in a good Circle, then it's my duty to help you achieve that. Now...how do we do that? All Meredith seems to bend to is when she's forced."
As expected, Orsino bit on the bait laid out. "Then we force her." Anders, feigning surprise at the 'radical' idea, listened intently to the words of the mage. "Listen, I know Meredith by now, I know what makes her tick. Once, we had a doorway in a cellar collapse, locking a mage inside the chamber...the Commander was livid. Not because the mage might be hurt or such, but because during the time it took to dig him out, there was no controlling him, no knowing what he was doing." Orsino smiled. "She hates being out of control, she fears it, she views it as her sacred duty to be in control and ready to intervene at all times...lest those in her charge turning into raving blood mages the moment she closes her eyes."
Both mages chuckled at the ludicrous idea. Templars...idiots, the lot of them. Anders, already having gotten a sense of this after his many struggles with the Templars during his attempts to free mages, nodded. "Ah, hence the Templar Keep being far away from the Circle tower? Hence the many protective runes she wears? She fears blood magic and its ability to control others?"
"Hence..." Orsino leant forward, eyes glittering. "...the lowering of guards within the Circle tower." He smiled at Anders' raised eyebrows. "Didn't know that, did you? Oh yes, they've been reduced, now they're in large groups in vital positions, some patrolling...gone are the day of them patrolling in pairs or alone, for that would make them vulnerable. And yes, there's fewer of them now, as few as possible must be 'exposed' to us mages...and they will then be thoroughly checked for the corruption of blood-magic."
"Sounds very safe and to ensure the templars remain loyal and strong..." Anders replied with a little smile, mind working fast. "...yet vulnerable."
"Indeed." Orsino's smile was pale, afraid, yet driven. "We could...could...take over the tower." The man glanced left and right after the words had left his mouth, as if afraid Meredith would spring out of thin air at the heretical words. "If...if we hold it, if we deny her access...it would drive her mad...her need to control is so great, she'd have no choice to comply to our demands so she can once more come into control of the tower."
Anders, liking where the man was going, kept his smile curt. "And if she goes mad and instead of complying, storms the tower?"
"Y-yes, there is that." Orsino, pale, swallowed, but his gaze didn't leave Anders'. "We'd need help, something to ensure she wouldn't dare to do so, something that would force her to come to discuss our terms."
"Something like Garrett and his allies." Anders noted, nodding, his face grim.
"Indeed." Orsino grimaced. "But now, with Meredith possibly going along with him...I'm not sure how we'll rouse his aid."
Anders' grim look turned into an even grimmer smile. "Oh, the last word hasn't been said there, she's yet to actually say yes to him..."
Orsino, looking confused, frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Don't worry about it." Anders shrugged, mind already working on convincing Meredith of the need to continue as she had for so long. Should be easy enough... "I'm close to Garrett, let me deal with him and try to convince him to aid us. Meanwhile, however, there is the issue that Meredith is very thick-headed...what if, despite being unable to conquer the tower back, she still refuses to back down? I don't think the ability to deny her is enough, we need a way to strike at her, something immediate and dangerous to threaten her with."
Anders knew exactly what, he had a detailed list of the Circle's stores, after all, given by a sympathiser, but he was curious whether Orsino knew. Always better if it comes from him, making him think it's his idea... Before him, Orsino was looking suspicious, but not dismissive. "Anders...can I trust you? Just minutes ago, you wanted to start a revolution."
"And I still do." Anders didn't lie as he bowed his head. "That said...I respect your wishes, clearly, the revolution will have to start elsewhere. For now, I'm content to aid you, for I'm driven to aid all mages... if you wish to remain in the tower, so be it. I'll help you make that life bearable."
"Yes, driven, I can tell..." Orsino smiled, eyeing Anders' cracked flesh, shoulders slumping. Oh yes, you think Justice makes me simple, unable to think in several dimensions, unable to make my own decisions...you do not know spirits like I do. Fool, you do not know their motivations or their intelligence. And you don't know me or mine. "...well, since your very being is bent on aiding us then...there is a way. The Templars might be protected against magic, their Keep covered in runes, but we mages understand more than magic...we know alchemy."
Anders, leaning closer, so eager he had to press down on the table to make his hands stop shaking, urged the elf on. "Go on..."
"What happens when you mix lyrium dust, fire crystals, blood lotus, a spirit chard, deathroot, dragon blood, and a dragon's heart in just the right way, under alternating boiling heat and freezing cold?" Orsino asked, smile nervous but excited at the same time.
Already knowing the recipe, one of the many he'd considered, Anders still pretended to search his mind for the answer, not wanting to seem he'd already planned such a thing. "It's...very difficult to create, but very potent."
"And here's you, a man of dedication and skill in equal amounts." Orsino smiled, the praise no doubt intended to make Anders take upon himself to do the dangerous work of creating the explosive...as if the mage would trust Orsino with such a thing in the first place. "And to think, we have dragon's blood and a heart donated to us just recently...Hawke's already helping us." Orsino laughed.
"Indeed..." Anders smiled, the fool of a First Enchanter was playing right into his hands. There will be justice. "...and what would we threaten to use this horrifying weapon against?" Threaten...no, no we're going to make Thedas burn in the fires of freedom and justice.
"The Templar Keep." Orsino replied without a ounce of hesitation. "We show ourselves willing to hit her centre of power, ready to destroy the majority of her forces...and she has to bow to our will."
Which we don't want, no, we need this to turn into a battle...the sacrifice of a few mages and templars in the ensuing battle will ensure the freedom of all mages. "And if she doesn't bow to this threat?"
"Then.." Orsino visibly swallowed. "...we destroy it and escape in the chaos, too many templars will be dead or wounded to stop us."
Again, we don't want that, no, we have to think long term...they need to live...for now. Anders chuckled."And what then, live out in the wild? You?"
"I do what I must." Orsino raised his chin at the taunt. "For my people's sake."
No, for your own. Disgusted, Anders none the less smiled and bowed his head."Then we are in agreement, I shall do all you ask of me, and your people shall be be safe and happy once more."
No, they shall be free.
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My head hurts.
Meredith was known for her iron will, for a mind as cold as tempered steel, for being tough but fair, she was known for her strength.
Yet she felt very weak at the moment, weak and tired.
It's been so long...
Meredith didn't relax, couldn't relax, not since the responsibility of being the Knight-Commander had been thrust upon her.
At times that simple fact felt like a great vice, squeezing her throat shut, throttling the energy out of her.
Now, despite her merely sitting behind her desk, seemingly at ease, was such a time.
She didn't let it show though, couldn't let it show, she was the Commander, everyone, the whole city, depended on her being strong. As such, she mustn't show weakness. Instead, she held her tongue, trying to calm herself, to meditate even as she listened to the arguing of her two captains.
Cullen, seemingly more positive since the meeting with Hawke, was the one currently speaking. He did so with calm and conviction, the experiences he'd suffered in Ferelden and his long time of service made him one of Meredith's most valued men. As a man who'd resisted an onslaught of demons, he was trustworthy beyond measure and one to heed. Not that he and Meredith agreed on many issues...but she thought that a strength in him. "Hawke is not demanding much, and he is correct in his assertions. We have been ruling yet not ruled the city for years, and in that time it has suffered as we've alienated most of the population."
"Did we alienate them though, or did he trick them into hating us?" Carver, younger, more naive and brash, but with a strong heart and conviction beyond measure was Meredith's other Captain. He reminded her of herself as young, his dedication and wish to do great things made him an inspiration to watch, a man without doubts. Plus, he was Garrett's brother, knew his heart...which made his advice about the man essential. "Garrett's not above swaying public opinion and manipulating people."
Meredith nodded slightly at that, making Cullen throw her one of his usual worried looks. "Whether true or not, we have not exactly done anything to alleviate such hostilities, our constant searches of homes and questioning of people while ignoring all the tasks the Viscount had is clearly not working in our favour."
"Then we take up those tasks, we cannot give in to his demands." Carver snapped back, chin held high.
"Ruling the city is not our job, and I cannot in good conscience order resources diverted from our duty to such mundane things as running a city." Meredith grunted, but chose not to speak further, wanting the others to keep up their debate. They were, when doing so, essential for Meredith to make up her mind, voicing thoughts and weighing them against one another in a way she couldn't do alone.
The two captains glanced to her, exchanged a look, and then continued, well-versed in how Meredith liked to keep her meetings going by now. Cullen was the one to go on the offensive yet again, continuing where Meredith left off. "As such, if we're to have any success in making us less hated in the city, we must surrender its rule to Garrett and the nobility. As he says, he's likely the only one we can trust with this task, considering who we are."
"The only one we can trust!?" Carver stared at Cullen as if the man had lost his mind. "Have you forgotten that we not that long ago wanted to take him in on account of his contact with blood-magic? It might have been him fighting it, but he could still have been corrupted. And may I remind you that when we did, he threatened us off the premises? And then we have the dragon! There's hundreds of witnesses saying he fought the dragon with his elven mistress who used magic!"
True, all too true. Meredith sighed inwardly, she might be strong on the outside, but currently she felt weaker than Carver, assailed by doubts. The man had every right to point out the big issues with Garrett, yet all Meredith saw was how her duties would become just a bit fewer, the strain on her just a little less. This state we're in...it can't continue like this...the issues coming up are overwhelming...
Yet wasn't Carver correct?
Cullen didn't seem to think so. The man, despite all his trials with demons and those that cavorted with them, still somehow held great faith in mankind...Meredith found that inspiring. "Yet he displayed templar powers to us, surely that has to weigh into our-"
"Oh yes, a little flicker of power." Carver interrupted with a snort, arms crossed in front of his chest. "That doesn't make a templar...besides..." He turned, giving Meredith a look. "...if that was all it took to be immune to magic's corruption we wouldn't all be holed up here in the keep rather than the Circle tower, no?"
Cullen sighed, stroking his temples as he realised he wasn't winning the debate in the way it was going. "Then we test him? We lay out the condition that none can rise to the position of Viscount without being thoroughly tested and examined by the best templars there is for any sign of corruption?" He too looked to Meredith now, giving her an encouraging look. "I'm sure Garrett would submit to such a test if it meant he'd get what he wants...and I'm also sure he would pass such a test, Commander."
Carver was right.
So was Cullen.
Meredith, caught in the middle, didn't know what to do.
I'm so tired of fighting him when I should be doing other things...
Yet he is cavorting with mages...
Yet he has templar powers...
He defies the order's purpose...
He can stop the city's decline and make the people cease being hostile...
He sides with mages...
He can be an ally.
He might be an enemy.
If he is, won't the test show his true colours?
And if it doesn't?
Grunting, Meredith shrugged. "I...don't know." The two men before her stared in surprise at her, making her look away with an annoyed frown. "Carver is right, Garrett is not to be trusted. And thank you, Cullen, but a test is not infallible and..." A sigh escaped her, her shoulders slumping for the first time in...she didn't know how long. "Then again, he would make life...easier. Maybe...m-maybe I have been too hard on the citizens of Kirkwall? Maybe they do need a secular ruler? Maybe, by allowing that, things will get...better, the hunt for mages less full of obstacles...maybe..." She looked down at her hands, they looked strong, yet powerless. "I just...we shouldn't let him do this, he's violated too many of our laws and...but..." She shook her head. Tired, so tired...
Before her, the two men were silent, neither having expected their commander to show a hint of her doubts.
Neither did I...Maker, give me strength. "...I'm just not sure if we're pursuing the right agenda anymore." It was liberating to say it, yet scary, making her feel as if she was stepping into a dark pit, no longer knowing which way was up.
Then a pair of hands came to rest on her desk. Looking up, she found Carver looking at her, his expression stern, his eyes hard. "Doubt is the gateway to desire." The words, I spoke them so long ago and you...remembered? Staring back, Meredith watched Carver calmly continue. "We are only human, but we are templars, we bear the responsibilities no other can, and by doing so, we prove ourselves worthier than any other." Meredith found herself slowly straightening, much to her surprise. "And we do what's safe."
Yes, I said that.
"Not what we desire."
Of course not.
"Nor what's easy."
No.
"But what's safe, and we do so, praying that it's the right thing, for all we have in the world is faith."
Meredith, taking a deep breath, nodded, her strength slowly returning, her weariness slowly being pushed to the back of her mind where it belonged. "We keep our faith to the Maker, and act as He bids."
"Yes, Commander." Slowly, with reverence, Carver stepped back and sunk to one knee, serene face staring straight ahead. "We must do the safe thing, thank you for having the strength to see that, Commander."
"Yes..." Meredith rose, smiling. "Thank you, Captain Carver." She turned her gaze to Cullen, the man pale as he stared at the pair, apparently lost for words. Meredith's face crinkled in sympathy. "I'm sorry, Cullen, I know how you feel, but we cannot risk letting such a man as Garrett become Viscount, tell him no."
Cullen was shaking his head, yet still managed to mutter a low. "Yes, Commander."
Slowly, Carver's serene face split into a satisfied little smile.
Meredith nodded at him, pleased. Good man, helping me to make the right decision.
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson, for being awesome.