Long may you run (part 6)

Tony lays on the bed for over an hour before he manages to drag himself to the bathroom and take a refreshing shower.

No one had expected the trial to be finished in less than half a year at this point, so Tony had allowed himself to dismiss it and put the whole put the whole conversation to the back of his mind, but now here it comes springing to the forefront again. His life is always that, a perfect mess, and whenever he feels like he's got control over it, something has to happen.

'You think this is big, J?' he asks JARVIS as he's wiping his skin dry with a gigantic fluffy towel. It all feels surreal – Tony Stark, even if not really present, is back in the big world.

Tony doesn't feel like thinking about Stark. Pepper's got that; she didn't have to say anything. Tony is sure there will be a press conference sometime soon, because this is bigger for Stark International than for Mr. Absentee himself – as long as he doesn't suddenly show up in person and mess up Pepper's plans. He doesn't want that at all.

'It certainly is for Miss Potts at this point,' JARVIS replies as if he were reading Tony's mind. 'You will not reveal yourself to the public.'

'I have no fucking intention to do so,' Tony sighs, half-angrily. He's being silly and he knows it, but Tony Stark being back in papers and TV is not what he wants, even if proving the public opinion wrong gives him this certain gut-deep satisfaction.

'What are you going to do now, sir?'

'I dunno,' Tony sighs. 'I need time to think and observe the public reaction, even if it doesn't really matter…but you know, just in case, we better have a good database –'

'Of course.'

'Pepper will come here as soon as she's done with statements and SI and everything that she does.'

'She will, sir.'

'We can talk, I guess. J, do I have anything in my calendar this week?' he adds after a brief pause and makes his way to the kitchen as it's time for late breakfast.

'How are you taking this?' Happy asks from the far corner of the flat and Tony feels silly because he almost forgot that he's not alone. 'You not going public now, are you?'

'No way,' Tony laughs. 'I – I need to think,' he repeats again and seats himself by the kitchen table where two sandwiches are waiting for him, along with the morning medicine. 'It's not like I'm really going to do anything…it's not like it's a revelation. They should've known what Stane said from the beginning,' he adds because it feels like that.

He had a long time to learn to forget all the bad things people said about him but it was still sad, learning how little faith people had in him. It's still is the exact same, but he doesn't think about it much because Tony Stark doesn't really matter at this point.

'I'm gonna buy all the magazines now,' Happy offers, gesturing at his collection by the opposite wall. 'All the journalists will have kittens.'

'I hope so,' Tony says around a bit of the sandwich, not sure Happy can even hear him; he's watching the TV with a smirk on his face and a packet of dried fruit mix stolen from Tony's personal stash in hand.

'I'm going out for a ride,' Tony decides when he's finished with the food. 'And then we can do some angry boxing, all right? I need an outlet.'

'Do I come with you, boss?'

'If you want to,' Tony shrugs and makes his way to his room to change into appropriate clothes since he's still wearing shorts and a t-shirt he was in his bed in. Happy does the same and five minutes later they are ready to go. 'I wanna ride fast,' Tony says when they're in the elevator, moving down.

'You sure you're feeling up to it? Physically?'

'I need to clear my head and I'm not going to do it in any other way,' Tony explains. Not even doing science and working with JARVIS. He needs to be out somewhere because all of sudden the world seems so small.

He needs reassurance that there is life outside. Sometimes when he's closed in his workshop or too occupied with his own affairs – his triple affairs, really – it's easy to forget about everyone and everything else.

'Then we do that, but I wanna stop by Kinney's to get something energy-packed in the meantime,' Happy decided and Tony nods in agreement. That's probably a good idea. His body is still able to handle a lot, but he's not in the mood to test his limits.

And training is always good as Levy's been trying to talk him into taking part of an organized bike ride in October, if he feels like it. He said he did. It should be fun.

When they are back from the ride there is no boxing. Tony can admit to himself that he's not feeling up to it anymore; most of his energy has been spent during the rushed two-hour-long ride.

Also, as soon as he enters the apartment, he notices Pepper sitting on the big sofa, her heels lost somewhere in the middle of the room, watching the news with a smirk. She looks so beautiful and deadly, Tony had to admit; deadly suits her very well.

'Do you know why he did that?' Tony asks, his breaths still a bit short and rapid, but that's fading fast.

'He didn't offer and explanation, not really,' Pepper replies, understanding Tony's question easily. 'I don't know why he changed his mind. Maybe he wanted to save his honor since it was starting to be obvious he'd lose? You know how courts are. It takes ages, but in the end you can trust in the strong evidence we've provided. Not even his money could help this time,' Pepper adds, snickering with satisfaction. 'There were too many people who testified against him and wanted your name cleared.'

'Let me guess, my scientific fellas?'

'Exactly them.'

'Well, that's uplifting,' Tony comments. 'I'm gonna take a shower now. We've been out for ages and I'm all covered with NYC dust,' he adds, nodding at her, and disappears in the bathroom.

'I got us some lunch,' Pepper tells him as soon as he's back, wearing fresh clothes and looking like a strange mix between Nate and Tony which makes her raise one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. 'French. Thought you could use some salad and butter.'

'Always,' Tony admits, placing a kiss on her forehead and sitting down.

'I've got a proposition for you, Tony,' Pepper tells him a moment later, when she's seated down, too. 'How about we go to Malibu for the weekend? There are some things I still need to take care of tomorrow, mostly media, but after than I do plan to sit back and relax and see what everyone's going to say about my long-lost boss.'

'Uhm,' Tony murmurs, thinking about his schedule for the rest of the week. Nate Rives has a meeting tomorrow, completely detached from any S.H.I.E.L.D. or Avengers business, and then his usual appointment at Riverside – oh. And he was supposed to spend some time with Steve over the weekend, since Iron Man skipped the team meeting and the monthly training because of his latest mission. And Steve wanted to talk, a very Steve thing to do.

But Tony misses walking along the ocean shore so much. And it always helps him think and sleep and forget.

'Okay, Pep, I'll come – just how do you want to do that? I come as Nate or should I fly there myself?'

'I'm not missing the chance to see you sleeping onboard one of StarkJets,' Pepper replies quickly and Tony chuckles. Somehow, he always ends up doing that when he's travelling with her, just like he ends up drinking every time he's flying with Rhodey.

Rhodey. He's half a world away, again, and Tony's been thinking about paying him a visit as Iron Man, but hey, that'd be a bit too conspicuous. He can always dream, though, when he reads the colonel's emails.

'Eight a.m. sharp,' she adds, looking at him with a flicker of amusement in her eyes. 'They're not your planes anymore, so no waiting for you this time.'

'You'll be surprised how much of a good boy Nate can be sometimes,' Tony says smugly and goes back to eating, half listening the excited comments on the TV mixed with Pepper's and Happy's comments.

The next day is Thursday and Nate has a meeting with the team he's been working with on a medical A.I. and robotics; the cooperation has been online so far, with Nate writing the codes and supplying the team of engineers with ideas along with two other IT specialists. The project that Nate's been working on with the team since the very beginning is finally going into testing phase. So there's a meeting and Tony feels almost as excited as he did when he was giving his first lectures back in MIT.

They meet in the lab where the robot was assembled; a few clinics will be testing it when the first phase is done.

'It's good to finally know you really are a person,' one of the team members tells Nate who laughs soundlessly, because hey, the comment sounds pretty ironic when it was JARVIS working on the A.I. programming as much as Tony, if not more, and they should probably be meeting J to praise him for the creation.

But that, just like Ijon, is between Tony and JARVIS.

They launch the robot and check all the functions, which takes most of the day; they talk a lot and giggle like excited schoolgirls during their lunch break because everything is perfect so far and that means the project is very likely to be a big and immediate success. It's not even as much about money as it is about the satisfaction.

When Tony is back at home at seven, he tinkers with the suits that he keeps in his small workshop, plays with his bots and waits for Happy to come home bearing dinner. They eat and watch the newest news feed and laugh, and then Tony packs a few things he'll need during the week and goes to sleep, knowing that JARVIS will wake him up in time.

Malibu feels just as alien as it did when Tony came back from Afghanistan.

Pepper visited the place several times since Tony Stark's disappearance, hoping to find him hiding there at some random time – but he knew she'd check so the thought of visiting the California mansion didn't even cross his mind.

'Under different circumstances I'd have asked if you wouldn't mind the media reporting you seen with an unknown man,' Tony laughs when they're landing on SI airport in Los Angeles and head straight into one of Tony's cars that's waiting for them. 'But I know that at the moment they have better things to write about.'

'Tony Stark's case is exciting, especially since he's still nowhere to be found,' Pepper agrees, her voice laced with amusement. 'And he's claimed he was innocent but then disappeared, not it turns out he really was innocent –'

'So they're going to go crazy about the disappearance again, I know,' Tony admits with a sigh. 'And we're going to do exactly what you said you wanted, Pep: sit back and watch.'

'Don't you regret it, sometimes?' she murmurs when they're in the car. She's driving.

'Not anymore,' Tony says and it's the perfect truth.

When Pepper goes to sleep after they spend the day talking, reminiscing, talking, eating and laughing, Tony sneaks out of the mansion and spends most of the night dragging his tired legs along the shore. He still feels heavy after the crazy ride they did with Happy, and combined with the thickness of the salty water and the wet sand, he's moving as slowly as if the air was honey.

But it's good. The wind in scented differently here, it's not filled with traces of petrol and dirt and smoke, it smells just like salt and resin.

It takes Tony some time, but after he's talked to himself and to the ocean and to the sky for a few hours, until his voice has gone hoarse, he sits down and waits for the sun to go up in complete silence, his mind blank and devoid of all thoughts but the awareness of the murmuring ocean.

When he comes back, the sky is pink and blue and he's cold, but it feels like his lungs suddenly have bigger capacity and it's easier to breathe.

The rest of the weekend is a bliss, a bit too much of a bliss maybe, and Tony tells JARVIS exactly that when he's back at home on late Sunday evening.

'I don't think I'll do it again soon,' he says, sitting down by his workshop because he's pretty sure this night will be sleepless. 'It felt good and I could almost pretend none of what's happening is really happening and it was almost like having one of my recluse quiet weekends by the sea years ago when none of this was even a bad dream.'

'Does Miss Potts know how you feel?' JARVIS asks softly, that bastard, because he always knows the right questions that have painful answers.

'I couldn't really tell her that, no,' Tony confesses, rubbing his eyes and looking around to locate the nearest-sitting bottle with vitamin water. Helps as much as coffee does. 'But I think she knows, she knows me too well, she always knows.'

'Yes, sir,' the A.I. agrees and displays Tony's latest projects on the screen, as well as Nate's and Iron Man's calendars. Radiation starts tomorrow. Meeting with Cap tomorrow, too, and the next day meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s R&D. Iron Man should probably hang around with the Avengers for a little bit, since he hasn't been very sociable lately, and then there's Riverside –

'J, juggle the things to make me a nice schedule, okay?'

'Processing query, sir,' JARVIS replies smugly and Tony lets himself close his eyes for a moment.

Tony doesn't manage to fall asleep at night, so he spends the time working and then drags himself to the clinic across the busy sunlit city early in the morning, getting some cranberry juice along the way – good for the stomach, rich in vitamins, Tony's like a walking medical encyclopedia these days – and he still arrives early.

He spends half an hour chatting with a few other patients, he sees some of the pretty often so they exchange pleasantries and chit-chat about whatever comes to their minds. Tony does his best at avoiding Obie's process in their discussion, even if it's the hot topic right now; luckily for him in this moment, these people don't care about the trial as much as the whole world outside the hospital does.

When he's done with the radiation for today, he goes home and sleeps until Happy accidentally wakes him up around four p.m., coming back with shopping they need for dinner tonight and for tomorrow.

'Sorry, boss,' Happy says quietly, noticing Tony sitting up slowly on the sofa. There is a frown of worry on his forehead. 'You all right?'

'Didn't get any sleep at night,' Tony yawns and lets his bare feet touch the cold floor. 'It's that late? Ugh. I'm supposed to meet Steve at six. Will we manage to eat before six?'

'There is some soup from yesterday and you can cook pasta –'

'Why me?' Tony whines, just out of habit, and stands up, stretching his spine.

'If you want to eat mushy overcooked pasta, I can do it all right,' Happy replies, rolling his eyes, and settles the bags with groceries on the table. 'I'll make sauce. You'll be dressed and fed in an hour, satisfied?'

'Very,' Tony murmurs groggily and walks up to the fridge to take out the soup for heating up.

They work in silence for maybe twenty-five minutes before all the food is ready and Tony, feeling that his stomach is doing okay today, eats some soup, some more soup and a bit of pasta with perfect buttery and herby sauce.

'We could open a diner,' Tony declares when he's wiped the remains of the sauce with some bread, cleaning his plate until it's shiny. 'We'd call it Happy pasta or something as catchy –'

'I protest against using my name in connection with pasta, that's like teasing the universe –'

'Well, whatever, as long as make it a happy something,' Tony agrees, putting the dirty dishes together on the table and leaving them for one of the bots to clean. These little creatures are liking being domestic all right. 'I'll go get myself ready to join the world of the living – you got any plans?'

'There's football in TV today,' Happy replies, shrugging slightly. 'And maybe I'll go cycling before that.'

'You do that,' Tony says, smiling a bit. It's good to know he's not the only one enjoying the new activity in the Rives / Hogan household. 'JARVIS will let you know when I'll be back,' he adds before disappearing into his room.

The meeting with Captain is going exactly like it always does, they train a little and Steve eats while Tony observes him and then they talk a lot, knowing that Ijon will make their conversations unavailable for the other people present in the HQ.

And Steve asks about Tony Stark.

'I mean, they gave me a briefing packet about everyone I was pretty close to in the 40s, and Howard was there – it was written there that he had a son. Anthony. They didn't give me much about him, since he was not directly involved with S.H.I.E.L.D., but I looked a bit on my own, you know? I was curious, I thought he must be a brilliant person because Howard was such a smart and unique man, and I couldn't believe that he's do all the things Stane accused him of…'

'Why?' Tony asks, JARVIS keeping Iron Man's voice steady and flat like always. Tony doesn't exactly know what to say, he doesn't want to say anything at all, because he'd hate to lie to Steve more than he has to already.

'I dunno, it seemed to me that he already had everything he might have wanted so the whole story was lacking motivation – and motivation is a big thing, isn't it?'

'I guess you're right,' Tony agrees; that's one plausible explanation. Steve wouldn't know the many others because they are technical, business-related or classified.

Steve just believes in people.

Tony Stark isn't exactly a person to believe in, but Steve still does it. It's amazing and Tony doesn't even try to imagine how much of inner strength that must take.

'I wonder where he might be,' Steve adds and Iron Man tilts his head slightly.

'You don't believe the rags that say he's dead?'

'I don't really know what to believe, but I… hope he's somewhere around. I would like to meet him, one day.'

'A link back to your old life?'

'Maybe he'd tell me something about Howard, yes, but he sounds like an interesting fella, from what I've read about him…' Steve pauses and sighs. Tony keeps silent because there isn't anything he can think of saying that wouldn't be awkward, in one way or another. It pays off, because when Steve speaks up again, he changes the subject completely. 'I'm gonna get some leftover pizza,' he says, smiling shyly, and disappears into the elevator.

They've been sitting on the roof, just like in S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, partially out of habit and partially because the sky is covered with lovely thunderstorm clouds that they've been both staring at.

Tony can feel a soft ache settle in his bones, almost unnoticeable but it's there, he's sensitive to the little things these days. The reactor hums remotely in his chest, making his bones vibrate deep within his body; he should be used to that, but it still surprises him sometimes. It's easy to forget.

He lies on his back, finding a pretty comfortable position in the suit and stares at the fast-moving black clouds. He's listening closely, waiting for thunder that should be here but aren't yet, and the only thing that he hears are Steve footsteps. Then Cap sits, eats two or three pieces of pizza, lays down next to Tony – and interweaves his fingers with Iron Man's as if he needs reassurance of some kind.

Tony doesn't ask, he lets Steve do what he wants, and they stay like that until big raindrops start falling and getting them both wet.

The next afternoon Nate is at Avengers HQ, taking Ijon's readings for efficiency checkup. Tony sleeps well at night, he was feeling fine when he finished radiation, so he takes his bike and cycles to the HQ; it's not far, but it's a nice ride. He chooses a moment before the afternoon rush so the streets are pretty empty – for New York – and he can relax instead of focusing all his attention on the traffic.

'Hello, Nate,' Ijon greets Tony in his usual manner and Tony grins at one of the entrance cameras when Tony leaves the bike leaning against the building's brick wall.

'Hey, kid,' Tony signs, smiling. Ijon doesn't have sign language translating protocols – Tony thinks it's only a matter of time before Clint asks him to install them – but he knows that JARVIS will help the young A.I. with solving the problem.

When Nate enters the house control room – which wasn't really necessary but Bruce decided he wanted to have one since there was enough space – he finds Clint sitting in the middle of one of the desks, eating chips straight from a silvery packet.

'Ijon told me you cycled here,' he states, skipping the greetings like he usually does. Tony nods. 'Can I see your bike when you're done?'

'Sure,' Nate signs and places his laptop on one of the free desks, connecting it to the A.I.'s network quickly and typing hello to JARVIS, since no one is looking over his arm. Besides Ijon, that is, but that doesn't count. This whole scene is a game anyway, Tony's been controlling the readings every morning to see if everything is working without a glitch. It's pro forma; if an A.I. starts working like he wants it to, there is very little chance that something will malfunction later.

Especially with JARVIS looking over this baby.

'Want one?' Clint asks, jumping off the desk and walking up to Nate. 'Hand cut French cheese and thyme. Limited edition. Phil likes this stuff, he's so fancy sometimes.'

'And you're more of a Cheetos guy,' Tony comments, fishing out a big chip out of the bag.

'I am,' Clint laughs. 'Nothing wrong with some old-fashioned bad snack, right?' he adds. His phone buzzes, so Clint takes it out and reads the text with a small frown. 'Apparently, my debrief has been postponed until tomorrow, some new intel or something the prep team needs to consider. Hmm… you busy afterwards?'

'Not really,' Tony types on the laptop, browsing some of Ijon's data in the background.

'How 'bout we cycle together? Somewhere nice, you must know some nice hipster places, I can see it in your face –'

'I do, but pretty far from here, and rush hour,' Tony types, sighing. 'But wait.'

Clint nods and munches on the chips while Tony takes five more minutes to finish his checkup and then pulls up a map JARVIS has been updating every time Tony goes out cycling. He nods at Clint to come closer and shows him the map.

'Blue dots are food places, red dots are other nice places, green dots are green spaces. Choose. Can take subway if someplace is too far.'

'That's cool,' Clint declares and bends over the table to get a better look at the screen. 'This one here, it says it's a chocolaterie? That sounds good. I need something sweet after all the salt I've consumed.'

Tony nods, grinning at Clint, and writes JARVIS a command to calculate the route; it's one of the places that are in Manhattan, so they don't have to cycle all the way out of the island. That's good. And Happy and Doc would love some Belgian chocolates; they're all meeting for dinner later in the afternoon.

Clint gets his bike but before they go, he insists Nate come and say hello to Phil. Nate isn't particularly close to the man, they only met a couple of times and usually at S.H.I.E.L.D. and with other agents present, but Tony nods and follows Clint. They find Phil reading a book in Russian, apparently recommended by Natasha, and they talk for a few minutes before Clint tells Phil that he's disappearing and informs him about the postponed debrief.

'Get me some pistachio something,' Phil asks when he learns their destination is a chocolaterie, and then pulls Clint closer and kisses him.

Tony smiles; it's good to see them both being relaxed and casual like that. Before the team came together, it was a tense time for all of them and in during the first stages of Phil's recovery they were all still pretty unsure and nervous, but as Phil's healing, everything seems to go back to the right track.

'They also sell Italian nougat and there's a pistachio variation,' Nate signs and Clint translates some words for Phil who nods with content.

'Then get me some,' he says and waves them off; they disappear into the hall and make their way outside.

The ride is silence because Nate can neither sign nor type while he's cycling and Clint seems to enjoy the quiet moments. It takes them half an hour to get to the place, they stay there for some time, drinking hot chocolate and sharing S.H.I.E.L.D. gossip, and on the way back they take different turns at the end of the route; Clint goes to the HQ while Tony cycles back home and spends rest of the afternoon with the pleasantly annoying company of Happy, Doc, and good food.

The next morning Happy drives Tony to the clinic and when they're on their way back, they stop by a shop to get some bagels for late breakfast. Tony stays in the car while Happy disappears for a few moments, and when he's back he has an unreadable expression on his face.

'What happened?' Tony asks frowning slightly and tilting his head. Happy sighs, seats himself behind the steering wheel and hands Tony a folded newspaper.

'I don't know why they did it 'cause Fury'll get his hands on them, but – check out the front page.'

Tony's frown deepens as he does as he's told. Happy starts the engine and joins in the New York morning traffic and Tony stares.

An insider's eye on the explosion of government research facility, the headline says, and Tony suddenly feels very, very angry and Happy's words about Fury make perfect sense. Things that are classified are classified for a fucking reason, aren't they?

Tony skims the article, holding his breath until he knows Nate Rives' name in not mentioned and when he's sure it isn't, he lets himself think about what the article really means. A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, anonymous of course, met up with the journalist and described in too much detail what happened at the upstate facility the day Loki's army invaded, including the reason for the explosion; Tesseract's name is not mentioned, instead it's described as an unidentified experimental power source that the agency wanted to tame and use.

The source states that S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists and R&D people were incompetent and full of themselves and that they were lacking a talented and experienced engineer who would understand the power source, and then there's a sentence that makes Tony's blood freeze.

I think none of this would happen if we had someone like Tony Stark onboard.

Tony can perfectly imagine the headlines tomorrow.

'Why would someone do something like that, when they'll be sent to jail for a long time for treason?' Happy wonders aloud and Tony is ready to give him an answer that is surprisingly understandable, despite his anger at the person's recklessness.

'They say a few of their close friends died in the explosion,' Tony explains quietly. He had JARVIS check S.H.I.E.L.D. reports for him, after the attack happened, and he knows that there were seventeen people killed at the facility and thirty more badly injured, though most of them have recovered and are back to work now.

'They're bitter.'

'Must have been really good friends, or this guy just doesn't care,' Tony concludes, sinking in the seat and pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees.

'You okay, boss?' Happy asks, glancing at Tony quickly. Tony murmurs an incomprehensible yes in reply.

'Yeah, all right,' he adds a moment later. 'Happy, would you mind if we didn't go back home, just, kept on driving? For some time?'

'City or highway?' Happy asks without any further questions – he knows Tony's into fast rides and they always help him clear his head – and Tony loves him for that.

'Highway,' Tony decides and puts on sunglasses, handing Happy the other pair. The sun is shining strongly today, making the world waver behind the thick wall of hot air, and Tony opens the window and inhales the heated salty scent.

The next morning Tony has a meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D. R&D regarding another project Fury wants Nate involved in and Nate steps into the room bursting with voices and he instantly understands that they are discussing the yesterday's article and the media frenzy that followed. People always have so much to say when it concerns stuff that normally stays secret and Tony understands their crazy curiosity and even the conspiracy theories, but he's learned when he was a young boy that people shouldn't know everything, especially the matters are in good hands. He might not like S.H.I.E.L.D. itself so much, but they really do their job well.

'I think Stark would have helped a lot, if he had been there,' one of the younger man says and Tony makes effort not to turn around and stare. 'Like they wrote.'

'You actually met the man or something?'

'I read his papers,' the same voice replies. 'He knew his stuff.'

'What makes you think that he'd manage to prevent the explosion though? We all know it was aliens and even he couldn't have been prepared for that,' a third voice chimes in. Tony sighs.

'Look, guys, I like you and everything, but that man was a genius – don't look at me, I actually did attend a few of his lectures – even when he was completely drunk –'

'It doesn't mean anything –' someone else starts and Tony sighs again and takes his tablet out.

'Whatever you might think,' he types, ignoring the guilty feeling at the back of his head, 'you shouldn't speculate like that. It won't make anything better and it won't make the deaths more or less worthy in any way.'

The youngest man blinks at the device shoved in front of his face.

'I guess,' he agrees, shrugging, and shares a look with the other men who nod.

They are all so young, Tony can't help but think. None of them is older than thirty. They will learn.

'Okay, guys,' one of the men says and waves at the rest to be silent. 'Sit down and let me talk about what we're here for.'

The murmurs subside and they all listen closely to the description of the integrated threat response system they'll be working on, connecting all the databases of federal and international agencies quicker, better and without asking. After the New York incident, WSC and S.H.I.E.L.D. had a very big argument that resulted in WSC upgrading the whole agency's status and giving them more power and freedom of action in exchange for Fury and Hill not releasing the recording of the WSC deciding to nuke New York. Even they know that however mighty they may be, they'd fall if the world knew who exactly made the decision.

Right now, it's a mystery and Tony hopes it'll remain that way because he wouldn't want to live through the mess the world would be if it knew.

When the meeting is done, Nate leaves the room first and almost bumps into Bruce a few turns later.

'Hey,' he signs, knowing that Bruce can recognize a few basic words. 'Working?' he types quickly on his tablet. Bruce smiles tiredly.

'Actually, I'm headed for a lunch break. I've been here since the morning and my spine would really like some rest… Want to join me? That is, if you're done? You're so thin,' he adds with a lopsided smile, just like the worrier Bruce that Iron Man knows.

'I am done,' Tony types and mentally reviews his schedule, but he always clears it as much as possible during radiation so he's free. 'Okay,' he agrees and follows Bruce out of the building and two blocks farther until they enter a homey-looking modern bistro.

They talk about the HQ and Ijon, Marcel and other Riverside kids Bruce sometimes meets, and inevitably about the unfortunate article and Stark's potential help, but it's mostly Bruce's wonderings and Nate listening, something he does really well.

Later in the evening Pepper asks Tony what does he think about the whole Tony Stark deal – since the whole country is pretty focused on the lost man recently – and Tony groans and tells her he doesn't want to talk about that again, so they make some food and spend the evening talking about SI stuff and gossiping.

Monday comes quickly and it soon becomes obvious that Tony is officially having a bad week.

It comes from nowhere, the first five days of this course of radiation were really good and the weekend was nice, too, with lots of cycling, working in the big workshop and hanging out in Nate's favorite places.

When Tony gets home from the clinic, he goes cycling with Happy and that is fine, too, but as soon as they get back and Tony gets into the shower, his head goes spinning and he leans against the bathroom wall and then sits on the cold floor, the sharp sensation making his body shiver. JARVIS calls Happy, Tony hears vaguely through the ringing in his ears, and Happy is scooping him from the floor a moment later and puts Tony on his bed.

'Do I need to call Doc, Tony?' Happy asks and Tony shakes his head for no because he can already feel his mind cleaning and he knows that in a few moments he'll be fine.

'Just dizzy,' he replies between deep breaths that help a bit. 'J?'

'The scan I have just conducted doesn't reveal anything unusual, sir,' the A.I. replies promptly, managing to keep concern out of his artificial voice and sound perfectly professional.

'Your blood results, boss?'

'Fine for today morning, the tests were made at the clinic,' JARVIS supplies. 'Would you like an oxygen mask, sir?'

Tony takes a moment to think about that, JARVIS' conclusions are logical, vertigo is often a result of the lack of oxygen to the brain and the reactor makes that a bit of an issue, even if Tony normally doesn't notice anything.

'Maybe,' he says and grabs Happy's hand before the man can get to the other room where the mask is. 'I wanna shower first. I'm sticky and messy, all right?'

'JARVIS, run warm water,' Happy says in commanding voice and help Tony sit up and then insists on wrapping his arm around Tony when they walks to the bathroom. Tony takes a quick shower, the water is cooler than he's used to but hot water means lower blood pressure and that might mean feeling faint, that's the last thing Tony wants now.

When he's in a t-shirt and boxers Happy tucks him in like the mother hen he is; it feels funny because it's one p.m. and everyone around is having lunch at the moment, enjoying the nice late summer weather and sunshine, and Happy tells JARVIS to make the windows opaque and play Tony some soft music so that he can fall asleep more quickly.

In the evening, Tony wakes up, drinks some broth Happy prepared for him, and goes back to bed. He has a pounding headache and he doesn't really feel up to doing anything, so he spends half of the night staring at the ceiling because his body isn't used to that much sleep.

He feels better the next day, but the headache is still there and he can't even look at solid food. He takes the antiemetic and doesn't vomit, but the thought of swallowing something makes him feel sick. None of these things are unusual though, as radiation side-effects, he had closer encounter with them during the different radiation he got before the surgery last year.

There is no need to stop the treatment, though Tony makes a big pause in his personal affairs and doesn't leave the apartment for the rest of the week besides getting to the clinic.

'There is an assemble call for the Avengers,' JARVIS announces on Thursday, his voice soft and comforting and Tony groans.

'Fuck my life,' he sighs, eyeing Doc who is babysitting him while Happy had to go out and take care of something, he didn't want to concern Tony with his affair.

'You're not going anywhere,' Doc calls from across the room. 'In fact, you're staying on the sofa and eating what I bring you,' he adds and Tony shakes his head with resignation, but he is really thankful for everything Happy and Doc do for him. He's sure Pepper would be here coddling him if she weren't on SI business trip in South Africa.

'Jell-O again?'

'It's good for your stomach,' Doc replies loudly, disappearing into the kitchen. Tony has to admit Jell-O is one of the few things he's managed to eat recently.

It's like the radiation suddenly caught up with him. Tony hopes he'll feel better after tomorrow, when he finally has his blessed three-week-long break.

'I hate not going out when they need me,' Tony says between spoonfuls of jelly. 'That's what Iron Man is about, helping out, and instead of going for a mission that's about human trafficking, which admittedly isn't aliens but it's even worse, I'm sitting on my fucking sofa.'

Doc is in the other room and he can't hear Tony, even though he probably has a good idea about what's going on in Tony's head, but JARVIS is always there.

'If I tell you that you are not superhuman, sir, will you answer the way you always do?'

'I will,' Tony agrees, playing with the spoon and staring distrustfully at the few bits of the colorful food left in his bowl.

'Then I will not mention that Iron Man is a superhero, but he is nowhere near as important as you, sir,' JARVIS replies smugly, making Tony smirk. 'And your teammates know you're just a man under the suit, sir. The last time you didn't take part in the team's activities because of personal reasons was months ago.'

'I know, baby,' Tony says. 'I still feel bad about it. And they're gonna be worried.'

JARVIS stays silent but Tony can almost hear the unspoken words. They should be, sir.

'I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now, sir,' the A.I. says in the end and Tony smiles warmly at the ceiling.

'You're the best, you know, J?'

'I know, sir,' JARVIS answers quickly. Tony laughs quietly, minding his aching head, and makes himself finish the Jell-O since he's lost some weight during this week, again, and his doctors won't be happy with that.

Iron Man gets a message from both Bruce and Phil asking if he's fine and informing him about the successful mission. There are no accusatory words, there never are, Tony knows the team genuinely understands and respects his right to be indisposed. Tony replies to the emails quickly and assures the men that he's fine and that he'll be there at the team meeting on October 1st.

A/N: Thank you so much for all your comments and favs and follow! It makes me incredibly happy to know that you're reading my story and enjoying yourselves :) I hope you liked this part too!

Thanks to dri-dri93 for beta :)

Also, you can check out amazing fan art by byakkoloki - my first ever, thank you sooooo much! - and here is the linking issue again so I posted the link in my profile, it's easier that way, I hope it works and you go have a look at it :3