"Stop it!" Kane for the first time could see pure sadness in Carrie's eyes and he didn't know how to approach it. "I know you're not her, I know you're not Katie." Carrie finally rose into a seated position, she seemed to be shaking. "Are you cold?" As angry, confused and adrenalin filled as he was, Kane still had the wherewithal to care for her general well being. He took off his jacket and passed it behind him. She held it for a moment not sure if she wanted to accept the peace offering. "Carrie just . . . I can't have you freeze to death out here." Kane smirked slightly as he watched her finally relent, squirming and nuzzling herself in the red fabric, almost being swallowed by the tent sized coat.
"Kane I-" Her voice was still high and shaky, it was apparent she was on the verge of crying.
"It's hard to explain, I know you're not her but-"
"Kane just stop. Drop me off at-" Carrie had decided things were done and over with between the two of them, Katie had a monopoly on the monster's heart and there was no room for her, Kane just hadn't realized it yet.
"Let me finish!" Kane could not even attempt tenderness, it was simply not in his DNA but still he wanted to prove a point, he wanted to win Carrie back. "We need to go inside and talk, you know I'm not good with words but-"
"I don't want to talk!" Carrie croaked, her throat was sore from trying to hold back so much.
"Don't talk then, just listen!" Kane was surprised when Carrie did not quip back. 'He's right, Carrie is a firecracker, I'd never talk to Katie this way but . . . they're not the same person. I know they're not.' He wracked his brain, scrunching his nose as he desperately tried to think of the right words to say. "I don't want you to be her." He craned over the seat to look at her but Carrie quickly broke their eye contact, eyes drifting towards the window, watching the sun slowly begin to set. 'Dammit what do I do?' Kane punched the dashboard, causing Carrie to jump. "I want you to just be you . . . you're just fine the way you are. I'm not asking you to-"
"Kane just-"
"Let me finish!" Kane let out a deep sigh before resuming. "You can't do that Carrie, be who you are if you keep hiding behind that smile." It was still there, as sad as she was the wayward smile stuck through.
"Bull!" Carrie shouted, her tiredness made the tears easy to come by, like a dam being broken one after another slipped down her cheeks.
"What?" Kane felt a sense of helplessness, he simply had no idea how to fix things.
"That's bull! You want Katie and not me, I'm just a replacement, she was everything I'm not, a peach a-" She repeated the description the masked man had used.
"That's it!" Kane got out of the front seat slamming the door behind him. Walking around the car he reached inside Carrie's door, he did not extend a hand, he did not wait for her to step out, he reached in scooped her by the waist and slung her over his shoulder, beginning to walk back in the direction of the hotel.
"Kane put me down!" Carrie swung fist after fist at Kane's back, it didn't even seem to phase the large man. "It's not just you Kane! No one wants the real me, it's not even there if you did!" The deeper seeded issues began to brew to the surface.
"Not there?" Kane questioned, ignoring Carrie's flailing legs and punching arms as he made his way through the lobby doors. He also was quick to ignore the stares of coworkers and hotel patrons alike as he awkwardly made his way to the elevator. His cold stare dared anyone to try and stop him.
"It's all a void Kane, an illusion, a white lie! Sit down shut up and smile, that's my go to, that's what I'm good for." Her tears continued to flow hitting the elevator floor as Kane finally placed her back on her feet.
"What did he tell you that? He's trying to get under your skin Carrie. He wants to get to me and he's taking it out on you, but don't worry Carrie, I'll make him pay." Kane went to his 'go to' violence. It was the gift that keeps on giving, there was no limit to the amount he could dish out, especially when someone he cared about was in danger.
"Kane I've heard that since I was ten. It's not your fault, it's not that creep's fault, it has nothing to do with any of this. I'm sorry for breaking down right now, but it finally just hit me, he was right." Carrie's head hung low as she felt her self worth diminish farther and farther.
"Who?" Kane saw room for redemption, it would take all the sensitivity he could muster to undo his mistake, but exacting revenge on whoever berated her couldn't hurt. 'Whoever they are. Whoever thinks they can talk to her like that, there'll be hell to pay.'
"It's not important who." Carrie felt Kane was missing the bigger picture. As the door opened she felt him lightly nudge her forward, slowly and apprehensively she walked through.
"I'm making it important." Kane would not let up, he had finally gotten her to talk and as they entered the hotel room, he hoped he could pry more out of her. 'The way Katie did with me. I need to help Carrie . . . because I care about her. I can't give up, can't give in.' Kane watched as she feverishly tried to wipe tears from her eyes, sniffling through her red nose. 'She's been holding onto this for years, like I did with my scars, my demons. I don't want her to hurt like I do, she shouldn't have to, she's not a monster like me.' Impulsively he reached out, clutching her in a aggressive hug. "I'll protect you, from everything." Kane's muscles tightened as if was about to go into battle.
"Relax. You don't have to protect me from Nathan." Carrie chuckled at the mere prospect. 'Kane would tear the drunk to pieces.' Carrie broke from the hug as she finally opened up. "He's more or less harmless, haven't seen or talked to him in years, my step dad, I mean I guess you can call him that." She viewed Sidney's dad as more of a father figure than Nathan. "I know now . . . that he was just drilling that into my head to hurt my feelings because he was a bitter old man stuck with a kid who wasn't his . . . but he was right. I've been nothing but a burden my whole life. On Sidney's family who had to take me in, on boyfriends and their lifestyles, on all my friends because I'm so unstable. And now on you! I'm a neon sign that says damsel in distress! The last thing you need."
"Carrie you're not a-" Kane rubbed a hand over his forehead. This was the explanation he wanted, but not the one he expected. He wanted to be there for her, but he didn't have the words or the experience to help her through this rough moment. 'I'm no Katie that's for sure.'
"Go ahead say it." Carrie gave a snarky scoff. "I'm not a burden, I'm not nothing. I've heard that time and time again but I know a white lie when I hear one, like I said, I live one."
"When I'm done with the goon that's after me, Nathan is next. He's the one that made you scream after Edge knocked you out. I'll show him Carrie, he doesn't know anything about you. He messed with the wrong person. I'll beat it into him if I have to, he'll know what nothing is when he sees the shape I leave him in." Kane's words were not sympathetic but angry.
"I don't need you to go after Nathan. Violence doesn't solve everything Kane, I don't have a hit list of people who have hurt my feelings for you to go out and decimate. I appreciate that you're willing to fight on my behalf but this simply isn't a fight you can win."
"There's no such thing as a fight I can't win." Kane retorted coldly, flexing his broad shoulders as he spoke, thinking over fight after fight in his career, in his life. Kane was not indestructible but he was resilient, he would not let pain get in the way of reaching his goals. He did not always have the upper hand but he had worked hard over the years to make his body and mind a difficult thing for any adversary to overcome, his pure brute strength was something to be marveled at. "Nothing?" He repeated how Carrie had described herself, tilting his head to one side as he glanced over her as a whole. "So everything that's happened the last couple weeks has been nothing?" Kane walked closer to her, grabbing her face in his hand he would not let her look away again.
"Don't twist my words that's not what I meant but-"
"If you're just nothing, why is he trying so hard to destroy you." A thumb ran over a damp cheek. In those tears he saw Carrie's own demons flood out. It was finally crystal clear, the major difference between Katie and Carrie. Katie was a nearly etherial being, one that showed Kane that there was light in the world, there was happiness even for a monster like him, a creature lurking in the darkness and misery that engulfed him. In Carrie he saw more of an kindred spirit, someone who understood what it was like to be filled with a lingering hurt, knew what it was like to be cast aside, ostracized, the crushing feeling of being alone to deal with what tortured you. Knew it was easiest to hide from the world that didn't understand you and didn't want to, behind a mask. Though they manifested and dealt with those circumstances differently, they were more alike than met the eye. What made Carrie unique, what made her special was that she understood. She had a seemingly perfect balance of inner darkness as well an illuminating light. There was despair but there was hope, to Kane that was simply bewitching, he wanted to give her the same feeling, the knowledge that she wasn't alone. But the fact still remained, he was a day late and a dollar short with that realization, he had still confused the two women at a critical moment in time. In their present state he couldn't give her anything, as close as they were, as he held her face in his palm, she was so far away, she was outside his reach.
"Destroy me?" Carrie sniffled during a break in the tears.
"He isn't playing around Carrie." Kane's face contorted in anger. 'He's coming for you, but he'll have to travel through hell fire and brimstone to get to you.' Kane was adamant as ever that he would protect Carrie.
"What do you think he's going to try and kill me? Murder is bit drastic don't you think?" Carrie chuckled at the morbid notion.
"I don't know what to think." Kane let out a few harsh breaths through his nose. "Like you said, he's got screws loose. He wants me stark raving mad. Like I was when I first came after my brother. People died in that fire Carrie, people I cared about, loved even. To this lunatic you might be a means to and end."
"Means to an end . . . sounds about right." Carrie shrugged, her tear ducks began to well up again. She wasn't sure if she was having a breakthrough moment or if she was so tired she just didn't have the will to fight back the emotions.
"You can mope around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can let me protect you!" Kane was not capable of being soothing and patient with his support, instead he felt his only course of action was to shove it down her throat that he was still there for her. "I know you're mad but-"
"I'm not mad Kane, it was bound to happen. If nothing else I'm replaceable. I told a huge white lie to myself when it comes down to it. Tricking myself into believing things would be different, we could be different, but in the end it's more of the same. Once a nothing always a nothing." There was a disturbing aloofness to the way she spoke, as if she was reiterating the obvious.
"Carrie if . . . if I didn't know it was wrong." He pulled his hand away as fists bunched at his sides, his breath became uneven as he swayed on his toes. "If I didn't care . . ." He tried to take relaxing breaths, he tried to think of anything else to say, but instead he went with his gut reaction. "I'd punch you in the face right now." Kane was seething. 'How can she think this way? How can she think I feel that way? How can she live like this? How could she be so wrong for so long?'
"Kane don't get carried away, there's no point in getting angry. You don't-"
"If you say I don't care . . . or shouldn't because you're nothing I don't know what I'll do Carrie. When I need to prove a point I usually get . . . aggressive, I don't . . . I never want to hurt you, but he's been provoking me for too long, we're both too tired, I'm not sure I can hold back much longer." He'd never punch her in his right mind, but he wasn't in his right mind, he was worried nightmares would become reality and the voices might push him to do monstrous things.
"Just stop it ok?" Carrie began to collect her things off the floor. 'I need to leave, I need to leave right now before one of us snaps.' Carrie knew if she got physical it wouldn't do much to the brute, but she was sure her sharp tongue could send Kane spiraling to a very dark place. 'This is what Kane's stalker wants, for us to be at each other's throats, dismantling each other from the inside.'
"Stop what?" Kane snatched her suitcase from her, with a hearty grunt he chucked it forcefully at a wall behind him. "You can't leave Carrie, not till you give me a chance, or explain to me why you can't." Kane stepped closer to her, his eyes determined as he stared down at her, he would not let her go without a fight, she was too important to him now.
"Caring, stop caring so much! It's not that serious, it's not worth the trouble." Carrie stood there defeated.
"It? You're not an it, and you're not nothing!"
"I-" Carrie was at a loss for words. Kane's adamancy was taking her by surprise, half a week ago he'd jump at the chance to watch her run out the door, two days ago he couldn't even get her name right, what had so drastically changed? 'For someone who is stuck in the past he won't let go of right now. Why is he fighting so hard? Why did I let it get this far? I pried myself in there, forced myself into his life, knowing damn well something like this would happen. One of these days I'm going to learn from my mistakes.'
"I'm not asking you to let me protect you. You can go if you want, I have no intention of begging." He pointed at the door, hoping he wasn't making a mistake, hoping she wouldn't call his bluff, if she walked out it would only reinforce the wall between them. "You've gone and given up but that won't stop me, you might not forgive me for what I did, it doesn't matter, I WILL keep you safe, I won't let anyone get to you, I won't let anyone hurt you, not even me." He waited to see her turn her back, to see her walk out of his life, but she did not move.
"You?" Carrie didn't quite understand. "Kane you're not going to hit me I'm confident in that." Carrie knew Kane was struggling with his mind, she could see it in the way his face was twitching operatically, in the clenching of his fists, but she also knew Kane did in one way or another care for her and she put her faith in the idea that the latter half would triumph.
"When I said her name, I don't . . . I didn't know why I did it." Kane let out a heavy sigh, his head was still throbbing. "When I first met you, it brought back memories that I had buried, it brought back Katie. I saw her in you, in everyone I looked at, Katie was back in my life. She still is . . . and dammit I can't change that! But I promise you I won't make the same mistake twice! I won't confuse the two of you, you're not Katie, I don't feel the same way about you as I did for Katie." He watched Carrie's eyes drop to the floor. "It's completely different. I didn't know how to deal with it, that's why I looked back to the only person in my life who ever helped me move forward, that's why I needed her again." Kane hoped he had gotten through to her.
"I'm sorry . . . that I made you relive all that, it must've been hard." Carrie's voice was barely a whisper.
"It was hard, but nothing has ever come easy to me Carrie, even things normal people take for granted. Trust didn't come easy, care wasn't easy, allowing myself to be happy didn't come easy. Feelings at any level are hard for a monster to embrace, for a machine to understand. I'm working on it OK? That should be enough . . . enough for you to . . . If you can't give me another chance just don't . . . you're my only friend Carrie, don't take that away from me." There was a long silence before Carrie finally looked up, it made Kane's stomach sink. 'It didn't work . . . she doesn't get it, she's going to leave me all alone again.'
'All alone.' The voice started up again. 'I told you, she's no different, she's leaving you just like they all do.'
"Letting go is easy Kane, a lot easier than you think. Sure we can still be friends, you made a mistake, it's not the end of the world, but let go of this hope-" This time Kane took Carrie's face in both of his large hands, his eyes had a mix of madness and conviction pulsing through them.
"You're not getting it! They keep saying this is how it should be, they're wrong they're not getting it either! I don't care what they say! They don't know me as well as they think, they don't know us. I don't-"
"They?" Carrie was taken aback by Kane's outburst. "Who are they?"
"Easy was never in the deck I was given." Kane blatantly ignored her question. "I don't need easy . . . I'm stronger than easy. Letting go isn't going to happen and that's final." Kane took his hands back and moved a few steps away, worried he was coming off more as intimidating than determined. "Now I need you to do me a favor." Kane was done ranting momentarily, he was switching up tactics.
"What is it?" Carrie was still trying to digest every word of their heavy conversation.
"I have to go downstairs to get something. I need you to promise me, you won't leave while I'm gone."
"What do you need?"
"Promise me you'll stay here. I can't protect you if I don't know where you are, I'll be damned if he gets to you twice in one day."
"What is it that you need?" Carrie repeated.
"I can't deal with all this sad . . . it's what I asked for, it's better than that smile but . . . I don't know how to make it better, that's why I always have a plan B." Kane grinned slightly, proud of himself for having a plan of any sort. Carrie waited for further explanation. "You're stubborn, I can't change how you think, but how you feel flips on a dime when there's food involved, especially waffles. What was it you said? They're comfort food. You eat your feelings, and you have a lot of feelings?"
"Sounds like something I'd say." Carrie nodded with a slight chuckle.
"I think we both need to get some real food in us." His own stomach was growling, man cannot live on red skittles alone, especially a man as big as Kane. It was certainly not helping either of their moods that they were hungry. "So that's what I'm getting downstairs. Now just stay here, don't run off ok?"
"Kane it's like five something in the afternoon, most Continental breakfasts end at ten in the morning trust me I would know."
"I can be very . . . persuasive when I want to be." There was little subtlety in the threatening tone in his voice. "Just STAY HERE." Kane felt he couldn't say it enough, he was still unsure how badly Carrie wanted to get to her friends. On the bright side it seemed as if his hail mary plan had worked. Carrie nodded, walking over to the bed and sat, taking deep breaths the tears had stopped.
While filling themselves with shakily made waffles Kane and Carrie had actually been able to have a conversation, not a screaming match, not an emotional breakdown, or borderline psychosis, after being reunited a sense of normalcy had been restored. "Well this is going to suck." Carrie let out a yawn when she had finally finished her food.
"What?" Kane had finished an hour ago. He had since been nearly dosing off where he sat, arms folded across his chest, feet rocking his chair back and forth. He only willed himself to stay awake, forcing his eyes to remain open for Carrie's benefit, as long as she was willing to talk to him he would listen. He also had to stay forever vigilant, at some points staring at the door with malice, waiting for someone to bust through.
"I have to call Sidney and them. I haven't seen or talked to them in two days they-"
"They're probably dead, how could they go on living without you for so long?" Kane scoffed, stretching slightly.
"Very funny Kane." Carrie wanted to be offended on her friend's behalf but she couldn't help but laugh.
"You need rest first, take a nap." Kane watched as Carrie yawned yet again. He was also tired, and also equally dreading Carrie's phone call. He could already hear Sidney's voice which to him sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
"Maybe I should, it's late right?" Carrie tried to rationalize putting this off. She was using poor logic, it was only seven o'clock.
"Late enough, you can still catch the tail end of the marathon." Kane nodded over at the T.V.
"It's still on? Things really are looking up!"
"Doesn't take much does it?" Kane rolled his eyes but felt a small sense of victory, she wasn't running out on him.
"No, I guess not." Carrie shrugged. "Kane . . . I've been meaning to ask you-"
"What?" He didn't meant to be impatient but cranky didn't begin to describe his current state.
"What happened?"
"What happened?" Kane was confused. 'I explained to her why I said Katie's name. Did she forget? Did she not believe me?'
"The wall." Carrie stood running a hand down the dented plaster, her fingers tracing the outlines of the craters.
"I got . . . angry." Kane shrugged, he felt slightly embarrassed that the evidence of him losing control was out in the open for Carrie to see. Kane had worked all those years to be a self contained, self controlled monster. He wanted to always be in control, at any cost, but as of recently he had been losing that vice like grip.
"I see that." Carrie stepped away from the wall, making her way back to Kane. 'All over me? Or all over his stalker? Or all over Katie?' Carrie still wasn't sure what was currently fueling his fire. "Let me see." Carrie took Kane's right hand in her's, holding the huge mitt close to her face.
"It's nothing." Kane watched as Carrie scrutinized his knuckles, her eyes lingering on the torn layer of skin, on the few spots that blood had broken through the surface. His eyes popped open at what Carrie did next. Lifting his hand closer, Carrie leaned in and gave a quick peck to the roughed joints.
"All better." Carrie gave a quick chuckle as she released Kane's hand. He sat there bewildered for a moment before speaking.
"Something like that." Kane shrugged again, outside he seemed distant and cold, inside the machine was short circuiting. 'All better? Is it? Is anything better? You're smiling, you're talking, you're caring but can you ever . . . forgive me? I don't know if you have that in you Carrie. What have I done? How do I fix it? I really fucked up. On top of that you're still in danger, he's out there somewhere. I fucked up.' Again he glanced over at the door.
"Don't worry." Carrie could see Kane getting more and more worked up.
"Don't worry? When are you going to take this seriously? He really wants to hurt you and-"
"Maybe in the morning I'll worry." Carrie yawned. I don't want to go to sleep on bad thoughts, only good things, like turtles and skittles and bubble wrap!" She made her way over to the bed, crumpling gracelessly on the mattress, rolling onto her back.
"Odd ball." Kane was still angry that Carrie was forcefully ignoring the threat but at the same time happy to see some of the 'old' Carrie resurfacing.
"I'm not that odd." Carrie retorted in fake insult.
"And then some." Kane nodded, a small smile of his own growing. 'She is odd, weird . . . she's a freak.' Like a lightbulb went off Kane quickly snapped out of his slump. "You know that right?"
"What?" Carrie was surprised by Kane's new vigor as well as his grin.
"You're a freak." He gave her what in his own way was high praise.
"A freak? Heavy word dude but I-"
"Freaks are better than nothing." Kane would eventually get through to her, eventually build her up in areas where life had apparently broken her down, and he would do it his way. Unfortunately he had a very small window of time to work with.
"Freaks are good people." Carrie nodded, punctuated with another yawn. "Good company."
"So . . . ."
"You too Kane." Carrie was quick to pick up on what Kane was thinking. "I haven't gotten over what happened . . . that might take more time than we have but I don't hate you Kane. I do like you . . . for the freak that you are."
"I want you to come back." Kane blurted out, finally getting to his feet.
"Huh?" Carrie's head popped up, her body too tired to move with it.
"You're going home in a couple of days but . . . I've been thinking . . ." He scratched his head, pausing to try and gauge Carrie's reaction, it was one of shock. "If you want to . . . when it's all over, when I send him home in a body bag and it's safe, I want you to come back. Edge isn't the only one with sway, I could get your contract reinstated."
"Well you are a persuasive guy." Carrie smirked.
"I am." There was a slightly ominous undertone to his chuckle. "So?"
"You want me to come back? You sure of that? Remember only a few weeks back you were chewing your own arm off trying to get away from me. I know we muddied the waters with all this . . . stuff." She didn't even know exactly how to classify their relationship. "I'm just saying I don't want your judgement to be clouded, saying something you'll-"
"Regret? Life is full of regrets, one right after the other. There have been a handful of things I've done in my life that I regret, and dozens more that I legally and morally should, but not this Carrie. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this." Kane spoke slowly, wanting his words to sink in. "I know we won't have . . . what we never had in the first place. . . ." Kane's fists bunched up again. 'It had been right there, right in the palm of my hand and still I managed to let happiness slip through my fingers. If I can convince her to come back, I'll have another chance, I won't fail again.'
"See what I mean? Muddied waters."
"Even before all the mud I liked having someone . . . having you along with me. Someone to talk to, someone who can deal with my . . . issues." He pointed over at the broken wall. 'She wasn't afraid, she wasn't disturbed, she understood me . . . a freak like me. How do you deal with a monster? How do you understand a machine?'
"A friend." Carrie summed up the sentiment. "Someone to kiss your boo boos." She added with a chuckle.
"Yeah." Kane shrugged, he didn't have much use for friends, but Carrie was different, these last two days had proven to him that things would be empty without her. 'Like it used to be.'
'Like it should be.' The voice poked through briefly. Kane walked his mind through the motions he went through every day before Carrie came along. Eat, sleep, destroy, there was nothing else. He didn't talk to anyone, go anywhere, do anything. It was the same monotony day after day.
'I don't want that anymore. I want her . . . freaks are good company.' He silently agreed with Carrie's words. "You never answered me." Kane reminded Carrie of his offer, his proposal that she should return to his side.
"I-" She was cut off by a ringing phone. "Who's that?" Carrie knew there was only a few possibilities and one of them was terrifying.
"Don't touch it!" Kane rushed to the phone, pausing before answering, he too weighed the options. 'Is it him again?' Angered by the thought he aggressively brought the receiver to his ear, clutching it in an iron grip. "What?"
"Put Carrie on the phone!" An irritated voice snapped.
"She's tired."
"Me me me, my problems! Put her on the god damn phone!"
"Listen you worthless piece of-" Kane was silenced as Carrie snatched the phone from him, having a solid hunch as to who was on the other end of the line.
"Sidney?"
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Dude. Phone works just fine, no need to shout." Carrie winced as her eardrums rang.
"Is that her? Is she ok?" Lizzie could be heard in the background.
"Peachy. She's just too fucking tired and inconsiderate to pick up a fucking phone and let her fucking friends know she was fucking alive!"
"Let me talk to her!" Janet called out, for several minutes after that, rustling shoving and cursing was all that could be heard.
"They're wrestling over the phone." Carrie explained to Kane as to why she was holding the phone away from her face.
"Hang up. See how long it takes for them to realize you're not there." Kane's blinks were lasting longer than average, his eyelids were growing heavy.
"Take a nap Kane. I'll go over there and face the impending wrath. I promise I'll come back." Carrie craned her ear to hear weather or not the fighting was over, it wasn't.
"No." Kane begrudgingly shook sleep from his mind. He stood, groaning as he stretched his long limbs.
"Kane you need rest."
"So do you."
"They're my friends, if I don't go over there, they'll come over here, and I don't think you're in the mood to be in the same room as Sidney right now." Carrie figured it was a recipe for disaster. 'You're never in the right mood.'
"You don't listen do you?"
"Huh?"
"I can't let you go out there alone. It's not safe with him out there. I meant it when I said I would protect you. If you say it'll be fine because you'll be with your friends I swear I will punch a new hole in that wall. I wouldn't trust those idiots with my pet rock."
"You have a pet rock?"
"I'm not a cute and fuzzy person type of person, me and animals never really got along."
"Does it have a name?" Carrie wanted to continue on the tangent, lighten the mood but the rumble on the other end of the call had finally died down.
"Carrie! Listen here, we're coming over there, you'd better have a good-" Sidney had won the battle for control of the phone.
"Don't find us, we'll find you." Carrie laughed nervously. "We'll be there quicker than a hiccup. Bye girl bye!" Carrie hung up the phone. "Are you sure you want to go?"
"No." Kane would have preferred experiencing a drug free root canal than go visit that pigeon coop but what choice did he have? "If you're going, I'm going. But keep those morons in check I have a bone to pick with them." Kane swung the door open with force and began to stomp out of the room.
"Of course you do. This should be fun!" Carrie rolled her eyes as she slowly followed behind.
"Knock knock!" Carrie tapped feverishly against the door.
"Carrie!" Lizzie whipped the door open and caught Carrie in a bone crushing hug.
"Ow Ow! Mercy!" Carrie cried in an over dramatic fashion.
"Watch her shoulder!" Kane pulled her back in a defensive measure, not cuing in on Carrie's sarcasm.
"Shoulder? Carrie when'd you hurt your shoulder?" Lizzie thought back to when Kane had grabbed her too roughly. 'That can't still hurt can it?' Staring at Kane's biceps she wasn't sure if it was out of the realm of possibilities that a two week old injury squeezed by those arms could still linger.
"Is that why you didn't call us? God gave you two fucking arms for a reason dumb ass!" Sidney's language got tended to get quite colorful when he was angry. When Carrie ditched out on their plans he was ticked, when any attempt to get in contact was ignored he was absolutely livid. Kane had blocked Carrie's friend's every outlet to get in touch with her, he ignored the pounding on the door and hung up the phone as soon as he heard one of their voices. They had been more of a bother than usual, only reminding him of Carrie while she was gone. "You know sometimes I don't understand what-"
"Sidney I'm really sorry. There was extenuating circumstances. I know you must've been worried but you see-"
"You." Kane stated coldly as he approached Sidney. Once they were in a stare down Kane grabbed Sidney by the throat.
"Kane! Calm down! He has every right to be mad at me, let him go!" Carrie pleaded, even the only person who could tame Kane was having no luck, she could see his grip tighten.
"We need to talk." Kane with ease lifted Sidney off his feet, dangling him awkwardly in the air like the catch of the day.
"He can't talk if he can't breath! Kane put him down!" Carrie continued to try and talk sense into the monster, it appeared as if he had no interest in sense as he lifted Sidney higher still. 'Is he crazy? What is he doing?' Even from Kane it seemed to be an excessive amount of aggression out of nowhere. Finally as if he lost interest Kane let go, letting Sidney crumple to the floor. Looking down at the gasping man Kane didn't even give him time to fully catch his breath before yanking him up by his collar. He dragged the winded Sidney across the floor, into the bathroom locking the door behind them.
"Open up! Carrie get him to open the door!" Lizzie rightfully began to panic, banging on the door.
"I . . . I can't." Carrie knew any attempt to sway Kane's mood would be futile, he was in a frenzy. "He won't hurt Sidney." She anxiously stared at the lock. 'I think.' She took a step back when she heard a heavy thud against the wood. "I hope." She rephrased that statement.
"Are you insane?" Sidney coughed as Kane held him pinned against the door.
"Are you stupid." Kane retorted with a snarl.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"How could you do that to her?"
"What? To who? You're nuts, you freak!"
"Don't call me that!" Kane pulled Sidney from the door only to slam him against it again. 'He can't call me a freak. He doesn't know the first thing about being a freak.' Kane's resentment for Sidney only grew. "How could you let Carrie think she's a nothing?" He slammed Sidney again. "Huh? Best friend? How could you let Carrie smile all the time. Either you're dumb or you just don't care. Don't tell me you didn't notice." Sidney's back connected against the unforgiving door yet again. "Nothing to say? Best friend? You saw it, you knew it, and you did nothing! You have no idea how much pain she's in do you?" Kane was unrelenting, the verbal berating and the physical assault continued. "To my very core Sidney, I want to show you that pain." Kane went to slam Sidney again, but instead, noticing one more hit would either break Sidney or the door, he let go, dropping the battered man to the tile floor. "But I can't." Kane's face was red, his blood boiling, all this rage and nowhere to expel it.
'You can. You can Kane. Use the hate, the anger, destroy him!' The voice provoked. For a second it seemed as if Kane would relent, a fist balling up and beginning to rise, but with a shake of his head the fist fell to his side. 'What would that do? If it was up to me I would have destroyed him minutes after meeting him, but he's important to her, he's important to Carrie.'
'She'll get over it. She doesn't need him anymore. You shouldn't have to share her. He's just getting in the way.'
" I tried to tell her, she-" Sidney's voice managed to break up Kane's inner battle.
"You didn't try hard enough. Do you really think Carrie would've given up so quickly if you were in that much pain? What do you think would happen if the roles were switched huh?"
"I. . ." Sidney was rubbing his sore back. "She would try too, just as hard as I did. Don't act like you know anything about it!" It took all of Sidney's power to stand. "Don't act like you know anything about our friendship. I AM Carrie's best friend. There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other. Hell I didn't let them fucking take her. I went on-"
"Take her?" Kane didn't understand what Sidney meant by that.
"See I knew it! I knew you didn't fucking know anything about us. Mr. High and mighty you don't know jack shit ABOUT Carrie. I didn't let them take her into foster care, I could've let them hall her away, throw her into the system but I wouldn't let that happen. How many twelve year olds do you know that went on a hunger strike to save their friends? I forced my parents to talk about it, convinced them to help her, it took two weeks but Carrie is worth it. We took Carrie in, even though it was hard on the family it-"
"Is that where she got the idea that she was a burden? To sit down shut up and-"
"Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you!" In an impulsive move Sidney swung at Kane, colliding with his chin. He continued yelling when he realized it had no effect on the wall of a man. "She wasn't a burden, we never said that! My parents loved her as much as they loved me, hell sometimes more. They loved her as if she was their flesh and blood daughter. I didn't know-"
"Didn't know what? You didn't see that lifeless smile on her face, day after day?"
"I did, I'm not fucking blind! Of course I did, and I asked her about it. At first she said it was because she missed her mom and she smiled because that's what she knew her mother would have wanted. That made sense, alone out of nowhere, what kid wouldn't miss her mom? They were so close, Carrie's mom was her hero. Carrie's mom was her biggest fan, always supportive of the fact that Carrie marched to the beat of her own drum. She dyed Carrie's hair green with koolaid packets when she was seven because if it made Carrie happy, that's all she wanted, all she cared about. I remember Carrie would open her lunch bag to see a post it note saying BE YOU almost everyday." Sidney remembered Carrie's mother fondly, he missed her too, he saw a lot of Carrie's mother in her. "You didn't even know Carrie's mom was dead did you?" Sidney was throwing in Kane's face that he knew Carrie better, that he had been a part of her life for years, and would not be shaken off, Sidney was there to stay. Kane didn't respond, he just stood there motionless, he was not used to being humbled.
'She never said anything about her mother. I didn't ask. I don't know much about Carrie, about her past. Am I as bad as they are? Have I been ignoring her?'
"No, you fucking didn't, and that's why you don't understand. It took a while, but eventually I caught on, Carrie didn't just miss her mom. Carrie had been absolutely crushed by losing her, it left a hole inside of her. All that love and encouragement was gone. No one was there to tell her it was ok to be herself, that there would always be people who would love her the way she was. Nathan just made things worse, he had been fine, even nice to Carrie when her mother was alive, but that all changed when he was 'stuck' with her. She wasn't his child, she was just a reminder that his wife was gone. He was distant, angry, resentful and he took that out on Carrie. He would leave for weeks, leaving Carrie even more alone than she already felt. She didn't tell me for a year and a half, she held it in, because she felt like . . . like a nothing." The word stung as it left Sidney's lips. "When he was around, he plowed that into her impressionable head, that she was nothing but a burden. Maybe he pushed her away because he was hurting too, dealing with his own shit but that wasn't her fucking fault, that's no fucking excuse!" Sidney was still angry, over a decade after all this drama had played out. "That was when smiling became her thing. When she finally opened up she told me. She told everything would be ok as long as she could do that. I tried to tell her that wasn't normal, but she insisted that everyone was happier when she kept that fucking smile on her face. She said smiling made everything a little easier, at least no one would stare at her for being the sad kid, she didn't want to stick out. She didn't want to be HER anymore, she wanted to be normal and if she couldn't be normal she was nothing. Nathan was right there backing her up, letting her know that no one wanted her, everyone was just putting up with her. There were no more notes reminding her to 'be you' there was only a bitter drunk telling her to blend into the crowd because no one really cared. Eventually the adults caught on that Carrie wasn't being cared for, basically fending for herself. That's when we took her in, but you can't undo shit like that. Back then it wasn't as easy to smile, she would break down and cry at random times, but one day it just happened." Sidney took a deep breath, this explanation was taking longer than he thought.
"What happened?" Kane's mind was being saturated with information he didn't even know he had missed out on. 'Her childhood was torn from her, I know what that feels like. Maybe that's why she's so care free now. Making up for what she missed out on.' Kane was practically taking notes, he would indulge Carrie's childlike tendencies, they were something she deserved.
"She stopped crying . . . she said she had run out of tears, the rest was history. One day she just gave up on showing emotion and put all her energy into smiling. She cries occasionally, gets angry, connects with people, she . . . feels, we're making progress, but it's fucking hard ok? From that point on she mostly smiled, it's something she's having a hard time getting over. But I'm sure your yelling at her is fucking helping. I'm glad you took anytime out of your fucking day to get to know her. You know what? You're right. I've just dropped the ball all this time and in the three and a half fucking minutes you've known her you know best, you'll just say: Hey Carrie stop smiling and poof all fucking better! You didn't know any of that did you? You start to like her and now you're her white knight and we're the bad guys. We just ignored it? I didn't just try, I'm still trying. And just so you know, you might have Carrie convinced you're a gentle giant, but I can see you for what you really are, I can see why they call you a monster, you're out of control, it's just a matter of time before you hurt her, bad. You don't like me? Good, that means I'm doing my job, I'm trying to pull you two apart. You're no good for her, you're not safe for her."
'Not safe? I . . . I'd never hurt her. I'll prove him wrong . . . I'll prove them all wrong. I'm no white knight, but I will be by Carrie's side, he's not pulling us apart. I won't let him.' Kane grabbed Sidney by the collar again, but instead of slamming him against the door he simply shoved him out of the way, unlocking the door and stepping out.
"Sidney you're alive! Kane you didn't kill him! I'm so proud of both of you." Lizzie let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm not out of control." Kane glared behind him at Sidney before distancing himself from the group.
"That's good." Carrie nodded with a chuckle. After some long silence, and the group inspecting the red marks on Sidney's back, Janet finally spoke.
"So what kept you from killing him?"
"Tired." Kane shrugged, he walked over to Carrie putting a hand carefully on her shoulder guiding her slightly away from her friends. Carrie looked up at him, he was staring, not in his usual angry way, not in a lustful way, it was something else entirely, something she couldn't put her finger on.
"Kane are you OK?" Carrie could tell he was not all there.
"I need to ask you something."
"Sure." She nodded, starting to feel slightly nervous.
"When are you going to tell me about yourself? I don't . . . I don't really know anything about you. You don't tell me anything."
"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black." Carrie rolled her eyes. "What is it you want to know?"
"I don't know . . . I want to know you better. I don't have any friends I-"
"You've got us!" Lizzie had been eavesdropping as per usual.
"What?" Kane scowled, he hadn't wanted to talk to anyone but Carrie.
"You've got Carrie you got us, we're a package deal." Janet patted Kane on the back. Sidney could be heard scoffing from off to the side.
"Great." Kane grunted.
"Come on, you like us a little right?" Janet elbowed him in the ribs.
"You are three of the most annoying people I know. I've tried to shake you, trust me." Kane glanced over at Sidney, who was staring him down, obviously still furious over Kane's accusations. 'Package deal, sure.'
"I will read between the lines and take that as a yes." Janet shrugged contently.
"I don't care what you do." Kane sneered. 'I guess they have their uses, they make Carrie happy, they know what I don't. I can deal with them if I have to.' Kane let out a sigh, knowing they were going nowhere soon. He looked over at Lizzie. "Is the T.V on?"
"What? No, but what do you want to watch?" Lizzie smiled, glad Kane was coming down from his rage.
"Weakest link is on." Kane shrugged.
"Seriously?" Sidney finally spoke up.
"Shut up I love that show!" Carrie brushed off Sidney's negativity.
"I know! You watch it every Thursday! Ever fucking thursday, there's more than one channel Carrie!"
"Do you actually like it Kane? Or do you just watch it cause Carrie does?" Janet was legitimately curious. 'Does this guy have any likes of his own? It seems like he just goes along with whatever Carrie likes. He's kind of a big pushover.' As she mulled that over, she and Lizzie laid out on the one bed.
"It's a show, it's on late, so are we." Kane replied nonchalantly. 'A bit of both.' The show was the first interest he and Carrie had in common. They didn't have to talk while watching, which made it easier for Kane to spend time with her. They grew competitive over who could get more answers right, one of the first baby steps to friendship. Carrie would fall asleep on Kane's chest as they binge watched marathons, one of the first steps to being more than friends.
"Here." Sidney groaned as he threw the remote to Carrie. She feverishly flipped through the channels till her show popped on, she parked herself on the floor in front of the second bed.
"Yes!" Carrie shouted in delight. 'Something normal for a change.' She let out a deep, relaxed sigh. "Sit, sit!" She patted a spot on the floor next to her.
"Me?" Kane didn't know if Carrie was calling for him or Sidney, unsure if Carrie was still trying to keep her distance.
"I'm still fucking pissed, so park up big guy, just try not to tackle her on your way down." Sidney had since taken a spot normally reserved for Kane, sitting angry in the corner.
"There's no need to take it out on Kane that you're-"
"Take it OUT on Kane? Did you miss the twenty minutes of him trying to send me through a fucking door?"
"I . . . we all know damn well you're never going to get an apology for that. I'M trying to apologize for having you guys worry about me. What do I have to do to get off your shit list?" Carrie was scrambling to defuse this situation, she could see both men getting riled up again, if it led to a second collision she dreaded to think of what would happen to Sidney.
"It wasn't your fault, stop saying you're sorry and just watch your show." Kane wanted to do nothing more than bash Sidney's face in for continuously snapping at Carrie but he was doing his best to restrain himself. If he lashed out that would only prove Sidney right, that he was dangerous, that he flew off the handle and he was possibly a threat to Carrie. 'Best friends. . . must be something complicated because I just don't get it.' He slowly sat himself down next to Carrie.
"Oh get over yourself! Just because you're a big bully doesn't make you the grand wizard of everything" Sidney wasn't even sure if he was mad at Carrie anymore. All he could think of was his concern over Kane's intrusion on his and Carrie's relationship. It had been quite some time since Sidney had been forced to share her attention with another man. Someone who felt they knew best for her. Sidney was determined, he would not be easily replaced. 'Kane's crazy is rubbing off on you Sid. Carrie couldn't replace me if she wanted to, I'm her brother plain and simple, there's no replacing family. I can't tell if Kane's worse than Fisher. Fisher was a douche, a player, a tease, I had to pick up the pieces every time they took a break. But he never tried to come between me and Carrie. Kane seems to care about Carrie in his own . . . creepy way, but he doesn't respect me . . . at all.' He stopped inner monologuing when he heard Carrie snicker.
"Grand wizard. I like that." Carrie reached out for an air five but Sidney made no attempt to move, she then tried to receive one from Kane, who just stared at her a glazed over 'not having it' look in his eyes.
"I don't do sloppy seconds." He focused his attention back on the T.V.
"You both suck." Carrie folded her arms and watched the show.
"I'll take it, sloppy seconds are very much my style." Janet lifted her palm, and the two women motioned towards one another.
"Psst . . . Sidney!" Carrie tried to beckon him over as the credits to the current episode began to roll.
"Can't just shout it?"
"It's probably some stupid best friend secret." Kane rolled his eyes, not breaking his gaze from the screen, until from the corner of his eye he saw Carrie stand. 'Where's she going?' He watched her walk over to Sidney's corner. Kane nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Carrie sit on Sidney's lap.
"Relax asshole. I know you never had any friends but that doesn't mean you have to be such a buzz kill." Sidney threw Kane a shooing gesture. "What's up?"
"Sidney if you don't cool it the buzz isn't the only thing that'll be killed around here." Janet and Lizzie were trying to keep out of the line of fire, but Janet couldn't sit by and watch her friend go up in flames.
"Three things, first of all that was really fucking mean and Kane does have friends so rest your breasts, secondly . . . look I really am sorry ok?"
"I don't forgive . . . but you know my memory I'll forget soon anyway."
"What do want an apology written in blood?" Kane stood, but reluctantly sat back down, trying to keep his composure.
"Sidney this is the secret part." Carrie leaned over towards his ear. Sidney stripped off his sweatshirt, creating a makeshift curtain between Carrie, himself, and the rest of the room.
'They're talking about me right in front of my face.' Kane stood again, every body in his muscle tensed.
'Brother? Best friend? It's more than that Kane. You see it don't you? She's toying with your emotions, she's probably fucking his brains out when you're not around. If you want her, you have to take her . . . by force.' Yet again the voices suggested harsh consequences.
"Sidney would you be mad?"
"Mad? Why? Over what? You know I'm just busting your balls right?"
"If Kane and I . . ."
"You two already made out in the bar. Did you two have sex? Are you pregnant? Is that why you couldn't come and talk to me? Whatever your choice is I-" Sidney was cut off by a single finger crushed against his lips.
"I'm not pregnant Sidney." Carrie replied flatly.
"Good. I'm not fucking babysitting that demon seed." Sidney let out a sigh of relief. 'There's still time . . . to separate them.'
"From that I'm assuming me and Kane dating is a no go?" Carrie looked to her friend, her brother for advice. She knew there was something still there between her and Kane, she knew she still wanted to be more than friends, it was still salvageable but she wasn't sure if that was the right decision.
"Absolutely fucking not! That is literally the worst fucking decision you could fucking make Carrie. . . ever."
'Guess I should have seen that coming.' Carrie bit down on her lip unpleased by Sidney's opinion.
"BUT" Sidney let out a large sigh. 'Can't giver her an ultimatum, that'll just make her want the big freak more.' Sidney grimaced, he truly did not like nor trust Kane. "And it's a big fucking but, if you HAVE to make this TERRIBLE decision and learn the hard way that I'm right . . . I'll have your back like I always do." One side of the sweatshirt wall fell as he tussled Carrie's hair, partially to put Carrie to ease and partially because he knew it would irritate Kane. His later goal was reached in spades and it read all over Kane's face.
'He's taking what's rightfully yours.'
'She isn't rightfully mine. Shut up!' Kane's headache resurged.
'Still, if you can't have her why should he? Why should Sidney get to be happy? Why should Sidney have Carrie.'
'I can't do anything about it.' Kane stared at the huddled mass that was Carrie and Sidney.
'If you want her Kane, you can have her, you can take her. So what if he fights you for her? You fight harder. Teach him a lesson, make him an example of what happens when people try to get between you and her. Don't you think that would convince her that you care about her? This is a ticket out of the dog house.' Though Kane knew the voices were wrong, knew beating Sidney into the floor would do no good, it was if there was a spell over him, he started to slowly lumber forward, with all intention of hurting someone. 'If you can't have her no one can Kane!'
'Shut up!'
'She'll act mad but really what she wants, is for you to save her from him.'
'Save her?' Kane was slipping farther into the delusion as step by step he got closer.
"You have my back? Terrible decision? This is our early twenties all over again." Carrie laughed, glad in the most meager of ways she had Sidney's support.
"If you had my back when I dated that psycho chick that smelled like burnt rubber-"
"Penny."
"You remember her name?" Sidney felt a bit guilty that he had totally forgotten his ex girlfriend's name. 'You would think I would remember her name, seeing as she key'd it into my car.' Sidney shrugged. 'Oh well.'
"We used to call her position a day Penny cause she a calendar that literally . . ."
"Yup! Point is you knew Penny was bad for me-"
"She put a cigarette out on a man's head that's crazy you don't want a part of."
"And now we're here." Sidney's tone was one of annoyance, not enjoying being cut off time and time again. "You warned me, I went nascar deep anyway and it did not end well, but you had by back all the way to the end. So if I have to take copious amounts of steroids to bulk up and beat him down when shit hits the fan between you two so be it." It was nowhere near a blessing but it was something. The other half of Sidney's sweatshirt was torn from him, looking up from their seat they saw the glowing eyes of an angry demon.
"Kane is everything ok?" Carrie waved a hand in front of his unbroken stare. Kane took Carrie's wrist and yanked her up from Sidney's lap.
"We need to go."
"Don't pull on her like that! You're hurting her!" Sidney shot up and gave Kane a shove. In response Kane grabbed Sidney by the face, shoving him to the floor with a burst of force. He looked over, seeing Carrie's wrist was still in his had, looking down he could see her spooked face, he quickly broke the grasp, stepping away from Carrie like a scolded child.
"I'm . . . I didn't mean to hurt you. . . I was trying to s-" It finally clicked that Kane had let the voices trick him into being the monster Sidney claimed him to be. "I won't hurt you I promise, you don't have to be scared." Kane looked at Carrie for forgiveness, then when her blank look and constant smile didn't bring him any peace he glanced over at the door. "I'll wait outside." He huffed before making his way to the exit.
"Kane stop!" Carrie grabbed his hand. "You gotta take a minute. You gotta calm down, take breaths" She paused watching as he began to swallow in air, in through his nose out through his mouth. "Once I'm convinced you're not going to go on a blood thirsty rampage we have a bigger issue at hand."
"Bigger issue?" Kane was apprehensive, he knew she was upset, but what was the most important topic at hand?
"I'm tired." Carrie chuckled, she gave Kane's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Fuck that I'm downright exhausted." Moving in closer Carrie leaned against the arm attached to the hand she was holding. "I know Kane, I know you don't want to hurt me. I'm not scared." She whispered up at him, the wave of relief that washed over Kane was visible.
"Do you want to go back to the room?"
"Carrie you can stay here, your show is still on." Sidney quickly proposed. 'Did she not just see him turn into a mad man? She didn't listen to me at all, totally ignored how bad of an idea this is. She's really going to go curl up with that deranged freak?' He grimaced at the thought.
"No, she can't. Unless you want me to stay here too." Kane wanted to get out and fast.
"When did you become such a possessive asshole?" Janet chimed in, Lizzie had remarkably fallen asleep and staid asleep amidst all this, it was now only the four of them.
"Don't bother I already tried." Sidney scoffed.
"Come here." Kane broke from Carrie's hold and grabbed Sidney by the back of his head, fingers knotting up in his shaggy hair.
"Kane!" Carrie hadn't expected yet another temper flair up.
"I need to show him something we'll be right back." He was guiding Sidney over to the window.
"Last time you two talked you almost broke Sidney in half!" Janet made a solid point.
"For just five minutes mind your own business! If I wanted to really hurt him, you'd be picking up his teeth off the ground by now." Kane was not convincing anyone it was a good idea for the two men to get in another 'talk'.
"Mind my own business? You're being a huge dick and-"
"Just let go of my hair, and show me whatever it is you want to show me ok?" Sidney shook himself free.
"Move the curtain." Kane and Sidney approached the windowsill.
"What?" Sidney peered out the window into the ever growing darkness of the night. "I don't see any-"
"Look closer moron." Kane slammed Sidney's face into the glass. Making sure Sidney's eyes followed his pointing finger. Finally it came into view, a man sitting on the hood of Kane's car.
"Is that-"
"He's out to . . ." Kane lowered his voice, he had already done a great job of spooking Carrie, he didn't need her to be even more on edge. "He's out to get her, I can't let her out of my sight." It infuriated Kane that his doppelganger had the bravado to simply wait outside for him.
"Why her? What did she do? What did you do?" Sidney spun around to Carrie.
"In regards toooo?" Carrie was left in the dark with this one.
"Shut the hell up idiot!" Kane snarled. "She needs sleep, you making her paranoid won't help. I can protect her, she doesn't need to worry, just leave him to me."
"Carrie?"
"Yup?" She was attentive to her friend who she was just glad wasn't a puddle on the floor.
"Here's five dollars go to the vending machine-"
"What am I chop liver?" Janet chimed in again.
"Fine." Sidney let out a heavy sigh. "You two go fight to the death over snacks." Pulling out a crumpled five dollar bill he threw it at Janet.
"This is an excuse for you two to talk in secret . . . you sure about that?" Carrie was not fooled by Sidney's distraction, and couldn't fathom why Sidney was initiating another confrontation.
"Come on, I'm bored with this same old fight anyway." Janet stood and pushed Carrie closer to the door.
"Sidney I-"
"Go, I'll play nice I promise." Sidney tried to reassure her with a nod.
"Kane?" She figured she had missed some secret bro code moment.
"He's been a dick all day, he doesn't get a vote." Janet dragged Carrie out, and in a flash the two women were gone.
"What in the hell was that?" Kane gave Sidney a shove, there was no civility to be had.
"What?"
"I show you someone stalking the building and you send Carrie out on a junk food run?"
"You didn't stop her." Sidney was not about to become the scapegoat again.
"I . . . I don't want her to be scared . . . she has nothing to be afraid of, I'll protect her!" The phrase was almost becoming a slogan. "But if she's afraid of me there's-" Kane had realized, again slightly too late, he had been uncomfortably aggressive the last few hours, he didn't want Carrie to believe he had any intention to 'bully' her.
"Lets say, HYPOTHETICALY, she doesn't need to be afraid of you, and that nut job outside is the real problem . . . I think you're taking this storyline a little too seriously. He totally is creepy and he is after you, obviously. He's probably out there, sitting with a handful of camera men around filming, setting up a promo to use later, pump up your rivalry." Sidney shrugged, he thought Kane among many other psychological disorders, was suffering an intense case of paranoia.
"He's been grabbing her, shoving her. He's been taking pictures of her . . . the things he says . . . he's the one taking this rivalry too far! He's always out there, trying to turn Carrie against me, trying to get to her. There's nothing he isn't willing to do to bring me down!" Kane couldn't understand how no one else could see the legitimate threat this man posed.
"You know you sound crazy right?" Sidney scoffed, he was not buying into Kane's theory. "Sure he's too rough on her, I've been keeping eyes on both the Kane's trust me. But come on-"
"He's not going to stop! He's trying to get me angry, to the point-"
"Then he must be crazy too. You're always angry."
"When I first got to this company, I wasn't just angry. I was out for blood. I wanted broken bones I wanted anguish, I wanted bodies pulled out on stretchers, anything less was a waste of my time. I wanted everyone to feel this . . . to feel my pain! I was a mindless, rabid animal. I didn't play by the rules, there were no rules, no limits, no boundaries, only victims! He wants me back to that point. I've caged that level of rage, I've-"
"So this is rage light?"
"THIS ISN'T A JOKE! WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN?!" Kane's voice boomed in the nearly empty room. He was growing more and more frustrated as the minutes passed, but he had to reel himself back in, he had to make someone understand. "It would take A LOT to get me back to that stage of depravity. He's found just the right button to push. He's coming for the only person I care about. He's insane, he's truly embodied what I used to be under that mask. He won't think twice about hurting Carrie. This isn't a storyline to him, I can't figure it out, but to him . . . it's personal."
"You're saying Carrie is in real danger?"
"The way he talks about her, it's disgusting, I can't let him get to her again. I won't let him hurt her." Kane didn't care whether or not he had Sidney's blessing, someone would have to drag his cold dead body away from Carrie's side.
"Idiot call the cops if it's that serious." It seemed such a simple fix to Sidney. "Get a restraining order or something."
"Like I said before. When you're a monster, like us. . . " Kane truly did not want to compare himself to his stalker but there were some glaring similarities, aesthetics aside. "There are no rules, no laws. You do whatever you want because you can, and from experience, what a monster wants . . . isn't pretty." The ominous words hung in the air till the door swung open.
"And boom goes the dynamite! Skittles and Oreos for all!" Carrie held a fist full of goodies in the air victoriously.
"Huh?" Lizzie's eyes cracked open ever so slightly.
"These fritos are mine, back off bitches!" Janet spoke through a mouthful of chips, reclaiming her spot on the bed. Lizzie lost interest quickly and returned to her sleep. Sidney was wide eyed, paralyzed as he stared at Carrie, his best friend was right in front of him, in grave peril, and he could do little to nothing about it.
"Everything ok?" Carrie was unnerved by Sidney's grim face.
"You look awful." Sidney's response was robotic and dry.
"Ouch uncalled for."
"I mean awful like . . . you need some fucking sleep woman!" He tried to appear as the same old crass Sidney. "You guys can both stay here if-"
"No." Kane quickly turned down the offer.
"Sid, I don't honestly think there's room for the three of us on that bed." Carrie ripped open the bag of oreos, sniffing the treat before devouring one. 'Kane and I have a hard enough time navigating a bed. It's a tight fit sometimes, man takes up a lot of space.'
"Kane can sleep on the floor." Sidney was desperately trying to think of ways to keep Carrie in his sights.
"First come, first serve, seems fair." Janet chewed loudly. "Sorry Kane, fair is fair."
"We're NOT staying here." Kane spoke louder, hoping to get through to Carrie's dense friends. He wanted to go back to his own bed, go to sleep, forget the last three days ever happened, wake up and start everything off fresh.
"Why are you trying to split up the group scary movie style? Safety in numbers duh!" Sidney crashed a fist into his skull.
"Safety?" Carrie again felt out of the loop.
"Idiot." Kane muttered at Sidney, staring daggers at the blabber mouth. "Just forget about it. Say your goodbyes and lets get going. You might have to drive, I'm about to pass out." All this arguing had exhausted Kane. He rubbed his face, trying to wake himself. With no success he handed over the keys to Carrie.
"You heard the man, we gots to go." Carrie smiled, the day was nearly over. "So Sidney how long till you forgive me?" She was taken by surprise as she was caught in a tight hug, nearly a death grip.
"I'm over it." He squeezed even tighter. 'If anything happened . . . and she thought I was still mad at her . . . nothing will happen.' He shook his head, trying to shake his worry. "Stay safe out there ok?"
"What's with this whole safe kick?" Carrie began to wonder if Sidney had been paid a visit he failed to mention. "Sidney did that guy-"
"What guy?" Sidney laughed nervously, he agreed with Kane that scaring Carrie would accomplish nothing, she tended to overreact as it was. "Be safe like no jay walking, stranger danger, brush your teeth twice a day!"
"Smooth." Kane scoffed.
"Bit me Jerk off." Sidney and Kane would forever be at each other's throats, even when agreeing on a topic.
"Onnnn that note . . . deuces!" Carrie flashed a sideways peace sign before taking Kane's hand a steering him towards the door, they left before Kane got hostile yet again.
"Bye" Janet waved at their backs as they made their exit.
"Kane?"
"What?" As the couple walked through the parking lot he barely looked at Carrie, scanning the dark space for threats. 'He's out here somewhere . . . I know he is, I saw him.'
"Do you think he . . . your stalker . . . went to their room? Sidney seemed more concerned than usual."
"They have nothing to worry about, neither do you. I told you I won't let him hurt you. He's all talk anyway. When I wore that mask, I didn't say a thing, I didn't have to, my actions spoke for themselves."
"He does talk . . . a lot." Carrie tried not to let his words repeat in her head. "Do you have any idea who it could be?"
"Don't know." Kane shrugged, keeping his words to a minimum he continued to squint into the night. 'He sounds familiar, but I can't place it. It must have been from a while ago but-'
"Kane watch out!" But it was too late, with commanding force Kane had been tackled to the pavement.