A/N: Thank you for all of the follows. I would love some reviews to see how I'm doing. Thanks again- mayajane
The Link chapter 4
"Faster." He shouted shielding her hex. She sent five hexes in quick bursts and one got flung behind him and caused the chair to catch on fire. He jumped away before he caught on fire. While he was distracted one of her nasty hexes caught his arm and he swore, his shields fell and he fell to the ground. Hermione was laughing as she fell to his side. He jerked away from her and hid the injury.
"Severus, don't be a baby." She called sweetly and he reluctantly showed her. Her eyes clouded with worry.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be ridiculous. Its called a duel for a reason. I'll win next time, you hear?" He told her holding his arm tenderly. She pulled out her wand and set the healing spell in motion. It would take ten minutes to heal completely.
"I shouldn't have used that hex. Its extremely painful, isn't it."
"I would have to say yes." He gritted out rolling onto his back. She sighed and lay beside him on her back.
The ceiling was normally high and white but now it was a black sky filled with many stars.
"I've always watched the stars. When I would go home for holiday I practically slept outside. It was so hard to fall asleep here in a room with a bunch of girls. I don't….i still don't like sleeping with them so I come here just about every night. I make the ceiling look like this."
Severus closed his eyes as he listened to her voice. But then gazing at the stars he felt a rush of peace. He turned to look at her and saw her bright eyes already staring at him and not the stars.
"Severus." She said turning over on her stomach. He felt his stomach drop and his heart race. When she said his name like that….
"Yes Hermione?" He said it a bit stiffly and she sighed. "Never mind."
He sighed with relief. He couldn't have that discussion, not now not ever. He didn't know why she kept bringing it up like this. It could never happen. It just couldn't.
"Its healed." He said after another minute but she was frowning. She had been doing that a lot this past month. At first he thought it was because she was worried about Harry and Ron. At her request he had ceased calling them Potter and Weasley. They returned about five minutes after they returned only they were very different. Ron was very quiet and harry was just about silent.
Nothing she had done had changed anything and she worried the room had effected them too much.
What else was bothering her?
"Have you had any more dreams, Severus?" She asked suddenly. He froze caught off guard.
"I'll take that as a yes. I have too. Do you know how hard it is to dream of you?" She said and stood up shaking her head. He sat up and watched her unable to speak.
She grabbed her cup and after drinking it she slammed it down, obviously angry. She turned to him.
"Nothing to say?" She demanded furiously.
"What would you have me say?" he said standing up. He kept distance but she closed it.
"Maybe tell me why you cant be close to me, or why I see you smile when were together but any other time you're frowning or yelling at a student. Tell me why you have those dreams but refuse me. Tell me damn it." She shoved his chest and he stumbled back a step. An angry Hermione was a scary Hermione.
He swallowed. "I don't know-
"For fucks sake, don't lie to me. I know you. It been months Severus."
He found himself scared. She…was everything he had ever wanted but he wasn't allowed. He couldn't have her. So he grabbed his robes and headed to the door. She laughed out loud harshly.
"Coward."
That one word resonated through him and he turned slowly.
"What did you call me?"
"I called you a coward. What would you call it? Someone who won't face something?"
He gripped his robes tightly, "I am not a coward."
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Well you sure know how to act like one." She met his eyes and must have seen the fire there.
"And here I thought we were friends." He said dangerously. He had never been this angry.
"We're more than that and you know it. But you wont face it and I want to know why."
"I don't know what you mean. We are nothing but mere acquaintances and that's how it will stay. Don't bring this up again."
He felt it. He felt his words break her heart. She gasped and clutched her chest and the suddenly there was a wall between them that the room must have supplied. His robes fell from his hands and he was filled with regret. But then he told himself it was better this way. He wasn't a good man. She didn't know the things he did at those meetings. She deserved better.
He left his robes behind and left the room. He had never felt worse.
Four days passed and he heard nothing from her and she wasn't in class. He couldn't believe how much he missed her. He missed her smile, her laugh and her eyes. Had he made the biggest mistake of his life?
He was cleaning up after his last class when she walked in, looking like a goddess. She had a red top and skin tight pants with her usual shoes. Her makeup was a bit heavier and her eyes were boring into him. He looked around and saw she had warded the door. Her hair was expertly curled away from her face but her face bothered him. She usually greeted him with smiles, even in the beginning. This Hermione didn't even have a ghost of one.
"I need your assistance with securing the horcrux. And I'll need my blade back." She said with a careful tone, devoid of emotion.
"What is wrong with you?" He couldn't help but ask. This wasn't…right. She smiled a sweet bitter smile.
"Well do you really want to know?" She asked crossed her arms. He rolled his eyes.
"Of course I wouldn't have asked otherwise."
"We'll the man I love broke my heart and I still have to interact with him. So I'm a bit put out." She took a seat and seemed to enjoy her words and the affect they had.
"You cant be serious Hermione."
"Deadly." She hissed and closed the distance between them. "You don't want me, I got that loud and clear, but you will respect me and my feelings. Do you understand Severus?"
She was in his face and he decided then he really had made the biggest mistake. He touched her shoulder gently surprised when she didn't pull away.
"I was a fool. You know only too well how much of a fool I am."
Hope flickered in her eyes and he was glad to see it. It might not be all over.
"How can I help you?"
"Severus don't toy with me." She commanded shoving him roughly.
"That was never my intention." He told her honestly. He dropped his arm but she suddenly had her arms wrapped around his waist and her head rested on his chest. On reflex he accepted her embrace. He had missed her so much. She squeezed too hard but he didn't complain. Could she actually love him? It had only been three months since this all started…but adding his time in the Room it may have been five months. Hermione and him had spent a month straight in the room training and then hours here and there. It was spent training. He suspected Hermione had been excluding him in planning and now he was given proof.
"You've been hiding things from me." He stated. It wasn't a question.
"Yes. Its safer that way. But I'm sharing with you now and I had always planned too. Did you know I'm twenty now? Well seventeen in this body."
"Congratulations. When was it?"
She frowned again and he didn't need an answer. "I apologize." What a way to spend a birthday. He felt even worse.
"I forgive you." She said easily. He gaped at her.
"That easy?" He questioned and she shrugged.
"I don't think there is anything you could do that I wouldn't forgive."
"Then you don't know what I've done. What I have to do." He wished he could take back the words as soon as they left his lips.
"Do you like doing those things; do you want to do them? Huh?" She pushed and he shook his head.
"Then there's nothing to forgive. Now I know where the horcrux is. Its at Grimmauld place. I spoke to Albus, future Albus and he told me it should be there. So, are you up for a trip?"
He gave her a look and she grinned.
They walked off the grounds together and apparated to the address. It was hiding but Severus knew how to call the building out. The house appeared between two apartments and Hermione rushed in.
' IN MY HOUSE.'
Severus's ears hurt from the scream and he saw Hermione covering hers as well. He used the most advanced silencing charm he knew and the shouting ceased. She turned back to him clearly shaken.
"How did it know I was a Mudblood?" She asked and he glared at her.
"Don't call yourself that!"
She smiled, "I know what I am to them. I have dirty blood."
"Bullshit." He swore and she looked surprised.
"It's okay Severus. I'm used to it by now."
"No it's not okay; your blood is as red as mine or anyone else's." He had stepped forward and grasped her shoulder and tried to shake some sense into her.
She took his hands away and shrugged. "Let's look on this floor first."
She turned away from him and marched into the kitchen. There were dozens of cupboards; with a sigh he started on one side and her the other. She had told him an Accio charm wouldn't work which made his day that much worse. He couldn't help glancing over at her and seeing her cute frown as she concentrated. What was wrong with him?
By cupboard number nine he was already discouraged. What if they couldn't find them all and he didn't even have a future? It was then he realized he wanted a future…with her. His hands stilled with the realization and she paused to see what caused him to stop.
"Nothing." He muttered angrily. Sentiment had always bothered him. He ignored her presence and continued to look through a cupboard that had possibly everything ever created. Something shiny caught his eye and he reached in to grasp it.
A greenish locket appeared in his hands and she gasped beside him. He let her have it and she gingerly set in out the counter and pulled out her blade. Without warning she brought in down and once again they were thrown back with force. He watched her crumble in the corner but the thing inside was gone, vanished. It hadn't been as strong as the other one.
"Hermione." He called walking over to her quickly. She was stirring and swearing while clutching her head.
"Why do I always get hurt?" She muttered under her breath. He let out a relieved sigh. She was fine.
"Your bad luck I would assume." He said and she glared up at him and held out her hand. Severus helped her to her feet and quickly let go of her hand which she didn't miss.
She rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to jump your bones Severus. Nor do I bite."
"I beg to differ. You bit me two weeks ago."
She laughed, "Oh yeah. I did, but you deserved it by sending a stinging hex at me. I ran out of options and improvised. It couldn't have hurt that bad."
He stared at her sure she was joking. She had drawn blood with her bite.
"Oh well, you lived."
That reminded him of the question he'd wanted to ask her for days.
"How did I die?"
She looked up at him with sad eyes. "Nagini kills you at his command. But I'm not letting that happen."
He seriously doubted she could stop it. She was one woman. He just nodded and turned to the locket. It was slightly smoking but he knew it was destroyed. Hermione grasped his arm tightly.
"I wont let it happen. You hear me?"
He just stared into her eyes wondering what she saw in his. "Don't give up." She whispered softly. He shook her touch off and walked out of the house to disapparate. He left her there and went to his rooms to have a drink and fall asleep. What she didn't know was that he'd given up a long time ago.
Just as his eyes drifted closed his arm burned something fierce. He shot to his feet and summoned his robe and mask and cast a notice me not charm that would allow him to get off the ground quickly without anyone seeing. He was perfectly fine until he finally got off the grounds and saw her sitting there, crying. He wanted so strongly to go to her but he couldn't deny his call. So he left her sitting there vowing to fix it tomorrow.
They met in a field with only the inner circle and he knew that his master knew of the horcruxes being destroyed. He threw up his strongest shields and braced his mind. He prayed it worked or he wouldn't leave here alive.
"My friends. So good to see you. I have some news. I am no longer weak and I am at full strength. Since I am well I will be traveling and Lucius will be escorting me. I have a few things to collect."
Severus went cold. They were so close now if he moved them somewhere secure they would never find them. They only had three left but they knew where Harry was and where Nagini was. They needed to find the cup.
"I will need Lucius to go into my vault in gringotts. I will meet with you all in a few months' time. Stay on your toes."
He vanished then surprising Severus that he hadn't tortured anyone when he was clearing angry. But he hadn't appeared afraid as Severus would have expected. His secret to immortality was at risk and he didn't care. Maybe they missed something. Or maybe he didn't know how many were destroyed.
When he apparated back she was still there, crying. She jumped when she saw him. He took off his mask carefully and stowed it in his robes. He found he didn't know what to say.
"Go on, run away Severus." She hiccupped and stumbled to her feet. She marched pass him and he stopped her.
"I'm sorry, but what would you have me do?"
She whirled on his, furious. "Be honest. I see it in how you look at me. I'm not an idiot."
"Not this again. Hermione I thought I explained…"
She closed her eyes and whispered. "Eventually I'll give up, eventually I'll move on. Then where will you be? Alone. I…love you and I know you feel something for me. I don't care how old you are. When its safe I'll shout it from roof tops how much I love you. I'm not ashamed. You make me happy. So don't lie to me Severus Snape. I know I'm right. Go ahead walk away! Walk away from me again!" She shoved him and he caught her arms easily.
"You know nothing about me to be able to love me. Its foolish. I hope you move on from it. Goodnight."
He turned away but her fist connected with his jaw and he went down from the force. She'd gotten stronger.
"Bastard." She hissed and stepped over his body. He let her go feeling more sad than angry. He had deserved that. He shook off the dirt and headed into the school. He was endlessly tired now. It all her tears he'd forgotten to tell her about the vault. If Voldemort was going there then there must be a horcrux. He knew he couldn't leave it until morning, not something so important.
He made his way to the seventh floor and it let him in with ease. She still trusted him it seemed. She was lying on her stomach writing in the diary he had read. She didn't acknowledge him.
"There was a meeting and I believe he knows what we're doing. He is traveling and going to Gringotts. I think the cup is there."
She finally looked at him and he saw her red eyes. He hated he had made her cry but what could he do but refuse her. Soul bond or not it could never be.
"Then tomorrow we'll be heading that way. I'll send you a message now please leave and don't come back."
"Hermione." He pleaded.
"Don't say my name like that. Like you care."
Fuck it. "I do care."
She looked up quickly and swung her legs around so she was facing him.
"You don't have to say it if you don't mean it Severus. Just because I'm upset."
Severus steeled himself, "I mean it. Surely you already knew. You're the only friend I've had in a very long time. If ever. Of course I care about you but trust me when I say it's a bad idea. Such a bad idea."
She had a wicked smile on her face. She stepped closer to him until she was a breath away.
"Tell me why it's a bad idea Severus." She pleaded with glinting eyes.
He swallowed thickly her presence affecting him. "For one I am too old and two I am not a kind man as you know. I would be a bad match for you."
He couldn't deny he loved her anymore but that didn't mean it was right. She was so young and so old at the same time. She wrapped her arms around him and held tightly.
"It's okay Severus, I'll wait until you're ready." She murmured into his chest. He sighed, great.