D: Disclaimed
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was more of an excuse.
I knew Jacob was upset, and I knew he'd lecture me about not telling him sooner. But the thing is, it all happened so quick, I would have never guessed the outcome of it all once I lay on the hospital bed. The last thing I could recall was my grandfather's voice fading in a panic before waking up to be surrounded by my family, puking my guts out.
My throat still hurt though. The more water I drank seemed to help though.
Then there was the blood. I stared at aunt Alice sideways as she handed over the Styrofoam cup filled with the thick red-coppery-smelling liquid. She insisted that I needed to drink it, but I just couldn't. It used to be appealing to me, but now, the thought of bringing it to my lips disgusted me. I couldn't explain it because by then I'd be licking my lips just by the sight of it, but now, all I wanted to do was throw up.
The thing was, I wasn't sure how to feel about all of this. Normally, I'd be asking grandpa Carlisle what was wrong with me, but somehow I knew that this all felt right. Just as everyone seem to question why I was reacting to everything the way I was, I seemed to brush t off and began to eat the spaghetti grandma Esme served me. I think the only thing keeping me calm was the fact that Jacob hadn't stopped smiling at me the moment I woke up. He sat next me with my hand in his, refusing to let go unless I wanted another drink.
As everyone continued to talk around me, all I could think of what my life was turning out to be. I was about to turn sixteen and I now it was beginning to not feel as it was. I didn't feel as energetic as I used to be, my body temperature wasn't the same, and my body felt as if it was warming up inside. I could feel the warmth and I wasn't sure how to accept it all.
After finishing more than my share of food, I was content to sit with Jacob in the living area until things were being figured out. From the conversations spoken around us, I heard that I was becoming human, that I already knew, but neither of us knew why or how it was happening. That's when Carlisle said he would call a few people as well as Sam and the others would do their own research. Thankfully Jacob promised to stay with me knowing that at this moment I needed him the most.
As the hours past, no luck or news was brought to us. Instead of hovering around the manor any longer, I convinced Jacob to bring us home and we'd take this one-day at a time. I was tired, exhausted, and all I wanted was to be lying next to my boyfriend with his warmth surrounding me. As strange as it was, all I could think of was Jacob and everything about him. Especially how much I love him the way he loves me. It's unconditional.
We shared the silence as we drove home in the moonlit night. The moon's light gleamed through the tree lines, flashing like strobe lights. Some sweet ballad played on the radio just as he had his arm wrapped around me, my head rested against him as I enjoyed every moment. I was content. I could feel that Jacob felt the same. For once I couldn't feel the worry or concern coming from him, I could feel and see his smile as he held me tighter.
For once, it felt as if we didn't have a care in the world, as if it was only us that existed. I've never experienced this before, and I don't think he had. We savored the moment as we sat in silence in the night. The moon reflecting off the hood as the engine died down. His breathing finally calmed as I could feel his lips kiss my temple.
"Did you want to go in yet?"
"I'm kind of liking it out here." I admitted, moving closer into him.
The silence was some sort of connection that we both needed, or something we already had but needed reminding? Either way, it was appreciated. For the first time, I could really sit here and appreciate the life that was given to me. Whether it be for an eternity or if it was limited, I'd cherish these moments.
"Come," Jake held onto my hand. "Let's get you inside."
"I can walk," I chuckled at the thought of carrying me bridal style.
"But you're most likely exhausted," he smiled, "and I don't mind it."
I wasn't exhausted; I was more needy than anything. I wasn't sure what it was in the beginning, but I knew that I wanted Jacob around me, close to me, near me all of the time. His touch soothed me in ways that I was unsure of. I could feel myself blush when he looked at me in awe, when he chuckled at my shyness; I couldn't help but join him.
He kicked off his boots at he door the same time I slipped off my shoes. He flicked on the hallway light before bringing me up the stairs to where our bedroom is. My head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as we lay next to each other.
"I could do this for eternity." I whispered as I nuzzled in closer.
"What's that?"
"Lying next to you, just you and me." I smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Me too." He kissed me back, "me too."
It wasn't long before I found myself dozing off in his embrace. Content with every moment and appreciating everything more than I used to. Though I couldn't remember much since the past week, I was okay with it. I wasn't worried, actually for once; I was careless as long as Jacob stayed next to me. For the first time, I trusted him more than anyone. I only needed him.
Waking up next to him was even a bit different. It was rare for us to wake up next to each other knowing that one of us needed some rest of some sort. Either he needed to go and patrol and leave at some odd hour of the night, or I would be just waking up when he needed to go to sleep. But now that he had a break and I was on a normal sleeping pattern, it felt so relieving to wake up next to him.
I knew it wouldn't last for long so I hurried myself downstairs to make breakfast before the day started. I would eventually have to go back to my grandparents and see if there were any other discoveries as well as visiting my parents. Then my grandpa Charlie and grandma Sue. But this time, Jake would be coming with me. Once again, that rarely happened too.
It did give me time to think about what could be the reasons for my reverse-transition too. Of course I believed that there was reasoning behind it, but I could never think of what it might be. I was just as clueless as everyone else, but I couldn't shake that feeling that this was right. I've never been so sure about anything, and yet, what should be worrying me, was becoming a thrill. I may have needed to step outside to throw up again, but I was sure that this was what I needed to do. Being human was my destiny.
"Are you okay?" Jake asked as he entered the kitchen in just his joggers. "I heard you vomiting so I came as soon as I could."
"I'm fine." I replied taking a drink before finishing off the last of the breakfast. "I just needed to get rid of that junk in my throat."
"Aren't you worried?" He asked with concern, now standing next to me, "I am."
"No," I replied honestly, "not really. Something tells me that this is what is supposed to happen."
"What do you mean?" He pulled me in closer.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I can't explain it, but I get this feeling that this is what's supposed to happen. I'm supposed to let this happen."
"Does it frighten you though?" His hands rested on my waist.
"No. I truly believe that this isn't a bad thing Jake." I smiled, now reaching up to kiss him to comfort him. "Not everything that happens to me is bad. I believe that this is the beginning of something special. I can feel it right here." I pulled his hand up to my chest above my heart. "Just trust me when I say that everything is going to work for he best."
Explaining more of it to Jacob just seemed pointless, and I knew he still was unsure, but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to support me, and I knew that he wouldn't be the only one. With the pack going in and out all morning to check up on me, most of them believed me when I said that I'd be okay. I understood their worries, but I needed to prove to them someway that I was going to survive all of this.
After vomiting more that a few times, I found myself feeling a lot better. It was never the food I ate, but the venom spilling from my glands. It was as if my body was cleansing itself, and I haven't felt so much better. So by the time we began to drive to the manor, I was sure that my transition would be finished. But I never thought I would come to the unexpected as soon as I arrive at my grandparent's house.
My parents came to m with a proposition they thought I would refuse. Rather than risking everything the believed I would be, they offered to change be back. I almost felt insulted, but once they began to explain their worries I understood where they were coming from. As much as it bothered Jacob to hear it too, he knew the decision was entirely up to me, and already knew my answer. Just because they didn't want to see me age and pass on without them, they felt that this was the best way to approach it, and they were sure that Jacob wouldn't mind phasing for the rest of my existence. But I couldn't force that upon Jake, which would be punishing him.
"But Jacob is already phasing." My mother argued. "I don't think he'd mind spending the rest of eternity with you as long as you were by his side."
"You're missing the point." I argued back. "I can't ask Jacob to give up his life so I can spend the rest of mine next to you both. There is a reason for all of this, and I'm beginning to see why I'm Jacob's imprint all along."
"What do you mean?" M y mother asked.
"Jacob saved me in so many ways." I answered, holding his hand tightly in mine. "He's given me something that I never ever thought I could have; humanity. If it wasn't for this chance, then I wouldn't be able to experience every bit of our life together, and everything that comes with it, and that includes death."
"So you're willing to accept this fate?" My father asked angered.
"Yes father." I sighed in frustration. "It's just the same as mother was willing to do for you."
"I hardly see the resemblance." He muttered.
"I do." I replied, "when mother was willing to give up her humanity to give you me, none of you ever thought that she could survive it, but now… It's come full circle to the point now I can be human with the mate that was chosen for me. I could never ask mother to change her mind if I had the chance because I know how she feels. A life with Jacob is worth every risk."
"But what about us?" He argued. "We have to watch age and die day by day."
"I don't see it as that." I admitted. "You'll get to know us still and those who mean the world to us. We might not be able to have children, but at least we'll have a family that looks up to us and appreciates us enough to consider us their role models, you will still know the legacy I passed on when I'm gone because it will never end with just me. I need you both to understand that this is an opportunity for both Jacob and I to have a life that everyone of you hope you could have." My father stared blankly in thought. "I know that you hoped that you'd get this opportunity with mom because you both can have that experience of loss and grievance, and that chance to find each other again in another life. I believe every vampire feels that way, especially you and aunt Rose." I grabbed onto his hand, "please don't hate me for taking this chance father."
"I don't hate you." He muffled a chuckle, "I just don't want to lose you."
"You're not going to." I finally hugged him. "Dad, you're never going to lose me, I'll always be your son and no one can take that role away from you."
"I've just always been afraid that you and your mother could be taken from me at any second, and I'm not ready to let you go." He continued on, "and now you're so accepting on leaving."
"I'm accepting on living dad." I replied in frustration, "you could never lose me because I will always be a part of you, it's just now, not only do I matter to you and mother, but now I mean the world to Jacob just as he does to me. You have to at least understand that under the comparison to you and mom."
"I will never understand you Sebastian, but that won't keep me from trying." He held onto me, "I just hope that one day we can see each others perspectives before it's too late. For now, I'll have to accept your choice, and maybe in time I'll see it's purpose."
"That's all I ask." I smiled, "please don't be sad, we still have years before that time comes, let's enjoy what we have. After all I'm only fifteen turning sixteen within a month."
Though my father didn't say much about my relationship with Jacob, I bought the hint that he was slowly beginning to approve of Jacob. As much as he wanted to loathe the man, he understood that the only one other then him that was willing to kill or die for me would be Jacob –not that I would need them for such a task. It was awkward to see them tease each other as we socialized with the family. At first I thought it to be sarcasm, but mother told me that this is how they used to always tease each other; it was their thing, I thought it was stupid.
I haven't found out much of what was happening to me other than I was still embracing the change as grandpa Carlisle thought. My blood level was rising just as my heart beat to normal rates of any human being. My respiratory system hardly harbored any venom or cells that would make me invincible to any normal person. My bones were developing marrow, my skin forming sweat glands, my saliva taste wet rather than it stinging my tongue. I wasn't going to miss the burn in my mouth and constant healing in my mouth, or the fangs that scraped my gums after ever feeding. My hair was now beginning to darken and straighten out; my skin was even getting a small tan. My appearance was changing overnight.
As for the rest of the family, I believe aunt Rose and uncle Emmett were more thrilled than I was. Aunt Rose saw it as opportunity she had always wanted, and if she could wish it upon anyone, she was glad it was I. She was the one that convinced both Jake and I not to entirely toss the idea of adoption out of the window.
"I understand that a surrogate is out of the question." She continued. "A part of you will always be missing, but think of the children that may never have the thrill of having parents, whether it be a dad and a mom, or two dads or two moms, every child deserves the love you can give."
"Why haven't you and uncle adopted?" I asked, now just the two of us sitting under the gazebo while the others were inside.
"Because it would never be fair for the either of us." She replied honestly. "You were the closest we had ever had to having our own child. If we were to adopt, secrets would be kept, and we'd still have to watch our child grow old and pass on withou us. I couldn't bare it even if you had asked me to."
"But what if the child was willing to change once they matured?" I was more curious to how she felt.
"You know I could never Seb," she said, "that would be like taking a life of a child that deserves to live. That's why I'm telling you to not entirely wipe adoption off your list. Everyone deserves that chance to be loved; everyone deserves to be a part of a family. But… think about it, you have lots of time to decide to start a family with Jacob, don't rush into things so quickly, enjoy your youth and being immature for a change."
"You mean like going to a party and getting wasted or the first time?" I teased.
"No." She giggled along, "I mean just go have some fun, go travel, go on road trips before you and Jacob decide to settle down. The reservation will always be there when you return, and I'm sure the other's wouldn't mind if you both went and enjoyed life."
"I'd like to," I admitted, "but it's almost impossible due to the fact that Jacob is constantly needed since he is the alpha. We can't just abandon the pack for more than a week."
"Well there will always be honeymoons, small vacations and family getaways." She smiled and gave me a hug. "I'm proud of you Seb, you haven't given up on life and it doesn't seem like you want to come back to our side. At least I know Fido will protect you when I'm not around." We both giggled. "Now you guys better get ready to go see Charlie, he's been a little strict on the teenagers around town because he misses you."
"Really?"
"The man is a mess." She cocked a smile.
After saying our goodbyes and promising nana Esme that we'd come back soon, I knew that I would be in trouble with grandpa Charlie with everything going on, especially explaining to him and grandma Sue with what's been going with me and my transition. I haven't been able to visit within a month.
I wouldn't say that there were any highlights during the visit other than catching up with everything. Of course grandma Sue was furious about hearing about the council's recent actions and promised me that it would be about time she rejoined with the circumstances taken place. Since Seth as been sticking around more with me usually and now that he's been slowly taking over the family diner, grandma Sue wanted to find out why I was changing. She knew where all the archives were being kept, and it would take her at least a couple weeks to go through each of them seeing how she knew at least half of them.
But she kept saying how proud she was of all of us. Leah would be moving back soon to begin working at the medical center on the reservation as well as nursing at the hospital whenever they needed her in Forks. Seth was willing to take over the diner until he fully figured out what he wants to do, but for now, he just wants to go with the flow. With me, she feels that something special is about to take place. I explained to her that I had a deep feeling about this, that it was good and better for Jake and my future, and she felt the same. I was turning human, what more could we ask for?
According to her at least.
Then there was the case of adjusting to being human. I felt weaker in some aspects. My skin felt different, my saliva didn't burn my mouth, my eyesight weakened and my heart rate beats at a normal rate. Well… normal considering to how fast is used to be. I was asked by grandma to write everything down for future references in case this happened again, it would be best to document everything down for our histories and for our benefits. The problem was, I didn't know where to start.
Should I write how I felt, or should I write what I see, what I hear, what I feel? When did it really matter to go into description of how I felt or was feeling? I was getting bored of thinking of the past or my emotions.
~~~JACOB~~~
I could only watch the changes. As worried as I was, I didn't want him to know. It would just make him uncomfortable. He would begin to think I doubted him in every way, but their were moments when I questioned if this was the way it's supposed to be. But it does give me relief knowing that my imprint is becoming human and no longer being viewed as the enemy.
It was moments like this I believed Sebastian to be very special. Everything about him made me proud to have him as my imprint, and now that we're moving closer and more forward with our relationship, the guilt has turned into desperation. Before I felt so wrong for even having the thoughts of being intimate with Sebastian, but now that it seems Seb is being more of hormonal teenager, it has become difficult for me to hold off even more.
Every time I needed to excuse myself to relieve the ache, I would find that my fantasies about my imprint would be more intense than before. I knew that Sebastian wanted me just as much as I wanted him, but neither of us was brave enough to cross that line. I still felt as if I was violating everything my imprint stood for, and I still believe that the age barrier is still there in some way. It was a thing that would most likely always bother him.
Ever since his transition back to human began, he ahs become more hormonal. Though I regret it, but the night we came home, he was so close to reaching in boxers and stroking my cock, but I wouldn't let him knowing that he was slipping of conscience. But oh how I wanted to feel his touch so bad. Which by now, I'm finding it even harder to be near him without wanting to bed him.
Dealing with this has never been easy. The moment I imprinted, no one else mattered to me, and no one else ever will. Moments I was never near Sebastian were the worst of my life, but that never compared to these last few months, when I began to notice that he was now becoming a man. The moment I believed things changed between us was when I began to notice just how attracted I was to him, which meant that Sebastian's perspective on me was changing as well.
I sure noticed one he became clingy. I was constantly needed by his side, and I had to explain this to Jared and Paul that I had to cut back on my patrols because Seb needed me more. Of course they knew the situation because they've been through it with their imprints. Now that I was going through it with mine, none of us were sure how long it would last. Usually the first would mark the beginning of our bond and usually lasted until our imprint became pregnant. But how would it work with Seb and I? Does he know the process of a imprinter mating with its imprintee, how long it usually takes and the marking that takes place? It would be something that I would need to explain to him eventually?
But as for now, we have another situation to deal with. Though it's not much of a worry, in fact it's been peaceful, but lately we haven't had any encounters with any leeches and we've been curious to why. Usually we'd have the small coven's disturbing the peace, but now it seems as if they disappeared. And it all seemed to happen the moment we noticed a pair of wolves wandering the forests here.
Ever since we all phased, it's uncommon for any wolves and their packs to hang around here since they never enter each other's territory unless they really need to. We've never had these problems, and we would never attack them since they were known as our ancestors. The wolves haven't shown any threat to any of us, in fact, the female seems fond of Seth and I and neither of us can really understand. The male only seems keen on protecting his mate, and insistent they only stay in one area where they most likely feel safe. After a week from their appearance, we decided to let the council know about their appearance and if it meant anything. Jared believes that maybe it's a sign showing that we're done our duties and we'll stop phasing one by one.
But I couldn't make any sense of it because I knew that no mater what happened with Seb and I, his family would still stay nearby for us to continue to phase.
The council felt that there was another reason for the pair's arrival, and we'd most likely soon find out. Curiosity rose the moment Seb and I came home from date night to see them both making themselves comfortable on our front porch refusing to leave. Though I found it strange with the wolf's interest of me, she formed some sort of friendship with Sebastian that had us both questioning.
These wolves are meant to predators of the wild, and yet they showed no fear of us nor attacked us in any way. This brought out everyone's interest, except Seb.
It almost seemed as if my imprint was waiting for their arrival.
A/N: Shoutouts go to lytebrytehybrid88, Courtland, BurnedSpy, wolfhappiness, The Thunder Kitsune, saphira88, ShikamaruNaraKibaNaruChunin, Shalette, Justin, mulii611, .16547, and guest.
Review counts still matter.
Much Love,
TurnItUp03