Footpaths (part 1)

On Sunday the 20th there is a team sparring session. It takes Tony a long time to decide on going, but he figures he can't slack off just because of some personal trouble, the team's integrity is essential in tight situations. He wouldn't want anyone, himself included, to blame him if something went wrong.

All the Avengers but Thor are present and that helps, it dissolves the tension that's pretty obvious to both Tony and Steve as soon as they greet each other, the words and nods are rather stiff and mechanical, but the difference is so slight no one else is able to pick it up.

The training lasts for three hours almost with no break and by the end everyone is satisfyingly sweaty and sore. Iron Man doesn't stay long after the last mock fight breaks up, he makes his way to the roof immediately and flies off before anyone can come after him. JARVIS seems eager to say something, Tony can tell, but in the end he doesn't. Tony flies around the city, taking a long way home, and when he's back the sweaty undersuit clings to his body tightly.

'Run a bath for me, J,' Tony orders as the armor peels itself off his body. 'Make it mint, that sounds like something I need.'

'Of course, sir,' JARVIS agrees easily and Tony nods to himself, working on the undersuit. His hands are slightly shaky from the training, the three hours have exhausted him completely, and it's strangely difficult to take the tight fabric off.

By the time he's done, JARVIS has already dimmed the lights and finished preparing the bath and Tony shivers with pleasure when his skin touches the pleasantly warm water. The bathroom smells fresh and tangy and it makes Tony feel as if breathing was a little easier, as if his lungs suddenly had more space around the arc reactor.

For several minutes, Tony loses track of time, the only noise he can hear is his own heartbeat and soft murmur of the water, kept at perfect temperature by JARVIS. It feels unreal, the sudden change from a noisy hall of Avengers Mansion to a cozy semi-dark home.

'Sir, please do not fall asleep in the bath,' JARVIS speaks up suddenly, making Tony flinch and snap his eyes open. 'I do not think it is a good idea.'

'Sure thing, J,' Tony murmurs sleepily, trying to shake off the traces of a half-dream he was just swimming into. 'Yeah, you're right, not a good idea, not in a bath full of water,' he adds, stretching his arms lazily just under the surface. It seems to reflect a warm green light, probably because of the mint salts.

'If I may, sir, I would suggest you eating a light supper before going to bed and getting rest.'

'It's only six p.m,.,' Tony argues, raising from the bath slowly; the air in the room is really warm, most people would probably say too warm, but Tony hasn't been fond of feeling cold since Afghanistan and the illness didn't make it better. 'I should be doing something productive, I guess.'

'The items I catalogued will arrive tomorrow morning and you will have plenty of work. There is nothing pressing in your calendar.'

'And?' Tony asks, grabbing the big red fluffy towel that's waiting for him and wrapping it protectively around his shoulders.

'Normal people usually rest on Sunday evenings, sir. You could always try eating a bowl of cookie dough while watching the next episode of CSI.'

'Funny,' Tony murmurs, snickering slightly. He really can't stand TV most of the time and JARVIS knows it better than anyone. 'But maybe you're right, maybe I should just go to sleep – by the way, where's Happy?'

'Mister Hogan is meeting Mrs. Liamson five floors down. You were both invited to her housewarming dinner,' JARVIS reminds Tony gently. Tony doesn't exactly remember that, but he's never been good at remembering schedules, that's what Pepper and JARVIS are for. Or have been. 'Do you require his assistance?'

'No, J, I can feed myself,' Tony replies, rolling his eyes, and puts on track pants and an old thirst. 'And put myself to bed.'

'It is a constant source of happiness to me, sir, to see you actually doing those things,' JARVIS states innocently. Tony sighs. It's his fault JARVIS is like that while most A.I.s are polite and helpful. Not that Tony doesn't love J the way he is.

'Well then, J, wake me up tomorrow some time before the delivery guys come around, if I don't get up myself, I don't want to have Happy bother with them,' he says, entering the kitchen area, the room lighting up as he steps inside. Then he adds and afterthought, 'And don't let me fall asleep with my face in cinnamon toast.'

JARVIS doesn't reply but Tony knows that content hum too well.

In the end it's not JARVIS' voice to wake Tony up, but a call from Pepper.

'Tony?' she asks in a tired voice and it brings a smile to Tony's face, reminding him of so many mornings when she had to drag him out of his house to attend one meeting or another, always firm but tired with his antics. Even if he was a good CEO, in the end, he never liked formal meetings and all the boring stuff.

'Hello, Pep,' he replies easily into thin air. 'Do you know what time it is?'

'10 p.m., here,' she replies quickly. 'I know you probably forgot and I don't blame you, but we did launch that big factory here in Japan and I thought you might be interested in learning that it all went well. It's shining Stark Industries over the Japanese soil. Well done.'

'Congratulations to you, Pep,' Tony laugh, sitting up in bed and looking around to see if there is something wearable within his eyesight. 'I know it might be still difficult to comprehend because you miss me so much as your boss there, but Stark Industries is you now, not me – and don't say anything. I don't want to hear it, Woman of the Year.'

'… Well, congratulations to me, then,' Pepper agrees after a brief moment of silence and then exhales. 'I hate changing time zones.'

'I know, I know –'

'So you owe me something when I'm back. For making me do this. And now I don't want to hear any of your talking.'

'I guess a dinner might be an appropriate payment for mutual silence, then,' Tony concludes, putting on yesterday's t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. 'When are you back? Wednesday?'

'Wednesday, 5 p.m. sharp at La Guardia. I'll have my chauffeur drop me off at your place. And I'll want a Martini –'

'At least three olives,' Tony finished the sentence, grinning to himself. He remembers that much, Pepper's favorite drink. That's something. 'See you then.'

'See you, Tony. Take care,' she says before hanging up. Tony, already dressed, barely manages to leave his room before JARVIS tells him the couriers will arrive in approximately half an hour, so Tony decided to use that time to get some breakfast. Happy is not around, it's time of his morning run, so the apartment is as silent as it was yesterday.

When the doorbell finally rings – Tony swears to remind JARVIS that he could just politely say that someone is at the door – the noise seems to fill every square feet of the space. Tony tears his eyes away from his tablet, word news to accompany his already eaten egg benedict, and goes out to guide the delivery men to the workshop.

'Just leave it here, it doesn't matter where,' he says, gesturing at the empty space in the middle of the room. There are four big boxes and three cases, mostly filled with papers and models, everything from Howard's research that was discarded before, but looks promising now that Tony has a vague idea what he wants to do.

The mission is to build a normally-sized arc reactor and make it efficient cost-wise. There is a prototype at one of SI factories but like Stane said, it's nothing more than a science project, and Tony decided – he doesn't even know how and when that happened, exactly – that this is his job now: finding out how to make it a working clean energy source.

Kind of a legacy, although he doesn't let himself think that explicitly.

When the man leaves, tipped adequately, Tony sighs, staring at the mountain of data suddenly sitting in the middle of his working space, and chooses a random box to open. It's filled with blueprints and data, equations marked with colors, some scratched out, some underlined, and they don't make sense at first glance, but Tony knows it won't take him long to figure it out. That will require a big cup of coffee, though, so Tony fixes himself one before sitting on the workshop's floor and taking a file marked with number one into his hand. Then, sipping his coffee, he starts to read.

'Boss, I know it's fascinating, whatever it is, but it's lunch time,' Tony hears Happy's voice a few feet behind him and barely managed to stop himself from jumping.

'Happy, warn a guy, all right?' he says, marking the page he's been reading though and closing the file. It's number four already, six more to go from this box. And then more.

'I asked JARVIS to remind you to eat like, seven times –'

'It was three, actually –'

'It doesn't matter,' Happy finished, raising an eyebrow at the ceiling. 'We've got some macaroni from yesterday. I made some salad. Come and get it,' Happy adds before walking out, leaving the workshop's door open, and the heavy scent of the scrumptious sauce definitely can't be ignored.

'So you're working on Howard's things, hmm?' Happy half asks, half states when they are finished the food. Tony nods, his mouth full of food, and Happy makes a face.

'What?' Tony asks as soon as he swallows.

'It's never a good thing, dabbling with Howard's things, I tell you,' Happy says, eying Tony unsurely. 'You sure you want a trip down the memory lane?'

'If it's the only way to find out what I need to find out, which it is, then I've got no choice,' Tony says and it's as much as admitting that he wishes he didn't have to do this. He knows there are film tapes in one of the boxed, with Howard's personal recordings, and he's pretty sure he'd be happier without seeing them. Or at least if he could have a few glasses of whiskey before.

'Big thing?'

'The biggest thing, I hope. Besides Iron Man,' Tony says, even though he isn't sure: Iron Man will be around as long as he is around. Arc reactor technology will outlive him by decades.

But Iron Man is all him.

'Well, I'm gonna feed you while you work then, since my brain doesn't exactly work like yours,' Happy decides, taking their dished and putting them into the dishwasher. 'Just please don't push yourself, okay? Take a break if you need one. Go out and take a breath or something.'

'You're very helpful,' Tony chuckles, but Happy knows it's fake. They both know he will need a lot of breaks and deep breaths.

When Tony takes out the tapes in the evening, JARVIS asks him not to watch them right now.

'I believe you do not have to hurry, sir,' the A.I. add, sounding oddly delicate. 'Please just rest today, you have been working on Howard's item for almost twelve hours –'

'Yeah, I get it. Not good for my mental health, right?' Tony asks, rubbing his eyes and then stretching his back. It's hard to believe the whole day passed already, it didn't feel like that long.

'Your words, not mine,' JARVIS points out smugly and Tony groans.

'Okay, I guess I can postpone staring at good ol' dad,' he decides, standing up and taking just a second to steady himself on his feet. 'Yeah, maybe you're right about a break from all this mess,' he adds, gesturing at the pile of papers-determined-useless behind his desk. 'I guess I could use dinner.'

Happy makes food and they eat, chatting about Pepper's new conquests and world news, and then Tony gets to bed, feeling heavy tiredness settle in his bones, but he can't fall asleep for the next two hours, his head too full with all the numbers and lines he's been staring at all day long, so JARVIS humors him with some ambient music and holographic Milky Way above Tony's head.

In the morning, JARVIS reminds Tony that there is an invitation addressed to Nate Rives. It's a masquerade charity ball that S.H.I.E.L.D. is supposed to attend, the money will go to families of those fallen during the New York battle, but Tony can't see himself going. Even if – even if Steve will surely be there and Tony is sure he could recognize Cap even in the best disguise. But then Steve would probably recognize him, too, from the way he moves.

'Send then a no answer. Not like anyone really expects me to come, anyway,' Tony says between sips of coffee, its dark bitter flavor burning his tongue pleasantly. 'And get Butterfingers prepare dad's film rolls for me. And everything I'll need, lets get done with that so we can move on, all right? Tell them to hurry, I think I need to get out of the house in the afternoon, all these closed spaces are starting to give me the creeps.'

'It should take not more than fifteen minutes to have everything prepared,' JARVIS informs Tony in his detached mechanical voice; Tony is glad he's not trying to be too coddling and treat him like a baby. Out of all people in the universe JAVIS knows best what Tony's relationship with Howard was like and that Tony would be very happy to never reminisce some parts of his childhood. But JARVIS knows exactly what and when Tony needs, he's amazing like that.

Tony watches all the rolls of film – almost two hours of material – with a tumbler filled with whiskey in his hand. He doesn't drink it though, just wraps his fingers around it tightly, and focuses on every detail that could give him some indications. It feels silly, looking for something without knowing what it is, but when Tony sees it, he suddenly knows.

It's ironic that the words Howard says to him are on the last roll of film. Tony sits with his back straight, feeling slightly nauseous, as Howard says that Tony is his greatest achievement and that he's limited by technology and that Tony will change the world.

'Greatest achievement, my ass,' Tony murmurs, closing his eyes for a moment when the sequence is finished. 'So, what is that supposed to be, the key to the future? The Expo, is that what it's all been about?' he thinks aloud, patting Dummy unconsciously. 'Something at the Expo? The Expo model – JARVIS, where the hell is the Expo model?'

'I believe it is in your old CEO office at Stark Industries in Los Angeles, sir.'

'Have it shipped to me, like, yesterday,' Tony decides, standing up abruptly. Not a good idea, his head swims, but it calms down after a short moment. 'Whatever he was thinking about should be there. Somehow, I don't know – J, have the bots clean the mess up, I'll leave the rest of the files for another day.'

'I believe a walk and some fresh air would be beneficial for you,' JARVIS says amiably. He's happy, Tony knows, and it makes him smirk.

'What would you say if I told you I plan to swing by one of those juice places and get myself a year-worth dose of antioxidants?'

'My servers are sparking with happiness.'

Tony's smile widens as he exits the workshop. Maybe breathing some fresh freezing air will make his lungs feel better.

Tony wanders around Manhattan for almost four hours before coming back home. The city is covered with constantly falling snow, crinkling under his arctic boots, the same way it always did when he was in Russia in winter. The cold air makes it difficult to breathe for the first few minutes, it feels as if Tony's lungs were freezing from the inside, but that only makes the city air feel clearer than ever.

There are few people on the streets, compared to the usual crowds. Everyone is hiding from what must be one of the coldest weeks of this winter. That's good, Tony decides, as he doesn't have to watch himself not to bump into people. His mind is elsewhere but he can't quote focus his thought and it feels as if there are thousands of thought racing through his head at once, none of them making much sense. It's tiring but at least the thoughts seem to disappear and untangle with every step he takes.

It's strangely difficult to walk. Tony only notices that near the end of his trip, when he's already tired and slightly cold, and it surprises him. It's the snow, he knows, sticking to his shoes and falling on his shoulders and his hat, it's the thick heavy clothes that make every movement similar to moving in an astronaut's costume, but the sudden awareness surprises him. He doesn't remember something like this happening before.

Before. JARVIS would probably tell him not to compare things and not to think in those terms, but he's quite sure it's impossible.

When Tony is back in the apartment, he immediately sheds the winter clothing and wraps himself with a warm dressing gown. A second later Happy emerges from his room, eyes on the phone he's typing something on.

'Did you get something for dinner, boss?' he asks, frowning slightly. Tony shrugs, but then he remembers Happy is not even looking.

'No,' he admits, 'was I supposed to?'

'I texted you like three times.'

'I didn't take my phone with me, I thought JARVIS would tell you that –'

'As the matter of fact, sir, you did take your phone with you, it was in the left pocket of your coat all the time, yet you were not aware of the messages you received.'

'Guess I was deep in my thoughts?' Tony shrugs, making his way to the kitchen. 'Well, we get a delivery then, not like it's the first time ever, J, what do we have on speed dial? The metaphorical one, in case you feel like informing me we don't actually have food on speed dial. Ugh,' he grunts, looking into the cupboards, there really isn't much to eat. They are so overdue with a big supermarket trip, oh joy.

'Kristopher's is on your to try list, sir. Danish. I believe they do take deliveries for another hour. Or your usuals which I am sure I don't have to remind you.'

'Well,' Tony considers. 'I feel like chowder and pie, don't you, Happy?'

'You want to treat me with English food?' Happy asks in response, raising an eyebrow while he finally tucks the starkphone into his jeans pocket.

'Well, Nate is supposed to be an Englishman, isn't he, it would be fitting to eat something English from time to time – besides, why don't you trust me? You know I know all the best food in town, Happy, I'm hurt by your luck of trust in me –'

'Get us some iced buns with it and I'll be happy,' Happy says, smirking slightly. Tony rolls his eyes theatrically.

'You hear the man, J, place the order and everything – and I guess I could read something in the meantime, you have my usual selection?'

'I have chosen the most relevant and interesting articles out of the seventy six journals you have me follow, sir,' JARVIS replies eagerly. Tony nods and makes his way to the 'shop where the display is already waiting for him.

'I hate my father,' Tony tells Rhodey the next evening, after he spent half a day staring at the just-delivered Expo model.

'I'll need a drink or ten for this talk,' Rhodey decides, taking off his coat and giving Tony a prolonged scrutinizing look. 'But I guess vitamin water will have to do.'

'Very funny,' Tony scoffs. 'C'mon, I need to show you that –'

'What exactly do you want to show me, Tony?' Rhodey cuts in, following Tony's steps. 'You were pretty vague and I could barely make out your words the way you babbled, it felt just like listening the hangover you figuring out your MIT assignments –'

'Something like that,' Tony whispers conspiratorially, opening the door to the workshop in slow motion. 'Look carefully, you're about to see what is very probably the only scientific miracle you'll see in your life, airman.'

Rhodey blinks a few times, shrugs, and then steps into the workshop, Tony just behind him. The room is dark, all light are turned off but various control diodes – and the gigantic hologram hanging in the middle of the room, taking most of the space. Rhodey stops, cocks his head and stays silent for a long moment.

'What am I looking at?'

'You philistine,' Tony scoffs good-naturedly, perfectly aware that he asked the same question about three hours earlier. 'This, my dear friend, is me rediscovering an unknown element.'

'That bastard,' Rhodey murmurs, but Tony hears the words anyway. Rhodey would connect Tony's first words, of course, to rediscovering. He knew Howard, too, and he's become very good at reading the man.

And at reading Tony.

'JARVIS says it's impossible to synthesize, of course, but I've already got a few ideas,' Tony says a little bit maniacally. This – this is what he's been hoping for so much. If the new element works as it should, according to simulations he run with JARVIS, it should be a perfect replacement for palladium in the arc core and would last much, much longer. That would finally make the reactor cost effective and that would mean a clean energy source that could be commercially used.

'Can you wait for the weekend with potential blowing us both up? I've got a few more things to do this week so no taking days off,' Rhodey says, raising an eyebrow. Tony grins.

'I was thinking building a particle accelerator in Howard's shop in Stark Mansion would be a great idea, Pepper as the manager of the property while I'm – while Stark is away, that is, she would let us in. And if things blow up, well, no loss, really.'

'Really,' Rhodey repeats skeptically but when he sees the face Tony is very deliberately making, he shakes his head with resignation. 'Well, I'll only be handling you screwdrivers and lifting things, anyway, so it's your call. I'm in –'

'I knew you would be –'

'– But only if you promise me that you are going to obey JARVIS' safety protocols completely.'

'All right, I will,' Tony says, it's his turn to roll his eyes. If it matters that much to Rhodey he might as well. 'Want a run through the details of this baby?' he asks, gesturing at the still-present hologram.

'Stupid question,' Rhodey declares and steps forward. Tony follows him inside the bluish sphere, gestures at the ceiling and JARVIS starts talking.

Pepper says she can let them into Stark Mansion, no problem. Tony could sneak them both inside but then it would be difficult to transport all the pieces of machinery they need without anyone noticing and Pepper can just ask to have them delivered to the Mansion without any questions. That makes everything easier and Tony is a fan of easy at the moment.

She says she wants to be there, too, because she doesn't spent enough time with Tony and Rhodey. Tony agrees, of course, silently marveling at how she's changed in the last few years. she's always been a strong and amazing woman, but now she is… tougher. That might be a good word. Like nothing in the world scares here, even a potentially lethal science experiments. If it's an act, it's a damn good one; Tony knows because he's taught himself to look out for that.

'I've got food for when you're finished,' she tells them as soon as Tony and Rhodey walks inside the vast entrance hall. There is a perfect picnic basket sitting on the floor next to Pepper's high heel-clad feet. 'My new assistant, he's a sandwich wizard, I swear, I haven't loved anything as much as her pastrami and graham bun canapés – at least not since those pulled pork sandwiches. You know, Tony, the ones you had me get you every day for forty two days you spend in New York a few years ago.'

'You're an angel,' Tony decides, giving Pepper a short hug, she keeps her arms wrapped around his thin frame for a few seconds longer.

'We're glad you could have some time off, Pepper,' Rhodey adds, smiling at her and she nods.

They go to the basement workshop and start on assembling the accelerator – all the parts are already waiting for them down there, so it's an easy part now. Tony and JARVIS spent two afternoons designing the accelerator the way it would work and would be as safe as an experimental device can be. Tony probably wouldn't go to such lengths about safety normally, but now it's Rhodey and Pepper in the room, too, not only Tony, and he won't ever risk something happening to them.

Pepper stays for maybe half an hour but she can't really help with the assembly, even with her heels off, so she goes upstairs to watch tv for some time. As soon as she steps out of the room, Rhodey speaks up.

'How are things with Steve, by the way?' he asks innocently and Tony very much wants to drop the coil he's holding and pretend it was by accident.

'I'm going to make a Nobel-worth breakthrough in science today and you want to talk about that?' he asks accusingly, checking the coil's position with a sprit level. Perfect.

'That bad?'

'Actually, no, not really, Tony admits, biting his lip as he's starting to connect the coils. 'He called, told me a few things, invited me to pizza now that he knows Iron Man is Nate, you know, we can both eat if I come by as Nate. So far it was okay.'

'Mhm,' Rhodey murmurs, eyes focused on work, and he lets the subject drop which Tony is thankful for.

It isn't long before Pepper comes back with a martini glass in hand, filled with what looks like tropical juice. She sits on one of the workbenches, legs dangling, and stares at Tony and Rhodey as they are working; it's been three hours and they are almost done – the prismatic accelerator is deceptively easy to build – and they are both in tank tops by now, sweaty and tired. Tony is aware that Rhodey has been doing all the heavy lifting for him and he's thankful. He's feeling okay, better than he's expected, and that makes him smile all the time as they work.

Also, creating, building, making things with his own hands gives him the rush that nothing else does.

'Done,' Tony declares half an hour later when all the coils are connected and the prism and all other pieces are in place. 'Now we'll synthesize a small piece of the new metal, whatever we decide to call it,' he tells, turning to Pepper. Rhodey handles her a pair of protective goggles. 'I'll put it into a small reactor, like the one here,' he says, tapping at his chest, 'and we'll run all possible kinds of tests on it with J. It should work perfectly but you know, science, you never know unless you conducts a few experiments.'

'More like a few dozen,' Tony hears Rhodey mumble and he grins. True.

'Come on, we're doing this,' he says and nods at JARVIS who is temporarily installed in the lab. 'We good?'

'Yes, sir,' the A.I. replies crisply and Tony moves a step away to let Rhodey do the honors and turn the valve.

What happens in the next few minutes really feels more like magic than science because by the end Tony takes the new metal, still warm to touch, and lets JARVIS do a quick scan to make sure everything worked.

And then the A.I. confirms that it's a new element.

'This is gonna be my legacy, Pep,' Tony says, turning the triangular piece between his thumb and forefinger. 'I've been thinking – I've been wanting something to leave for everyone when I'm gone, when Stark is gone. This is going to be my legacy for Stark Industries. We're gonna make it work and it'll change this fucking world when I'm not here.'

'Tony, don't talk like that –' Pepper starts, but then cuts off abruptly. Tony turns around, wondering why wouldn't she finish the sentence, and he sees Rhodey squeezing her hand so tightly that his knuckles re white.

Tony smiles, it's a half-sad smile, but it's a genuine one.

'That's one good thing my dad did, I've got to admit,' he says, walking out from inside the coil circle, and puts the triangle into Pepper's hand. 'Don't worry,' he continues in an almost-whisper, 'it's not gonna be that soon.'

'It better not be, Mister Stark, because I'm not being left with all your paperwork to manage by myself again,' she says, her lip trembling the slightest bit. Tony sighs, eying Rhodey unsurely.

'Well, I'll try, I guess,' he says and then clasps his hands. 'But now, isn't it picnic time? I'm famished and let me tell you, it's something coming from me,' he says, blinks a few times, and the next second there are Rhodey's arms wrapping around him.

'You idiot,' Rhodey says warmly, but his eyes are firm. Tony smiles lopsidedly.

'Sorry,' he mumbles and he is sorry. If he knew his knees would just give out like that, he's at least lean on something.

A moment later, with Rhodey's help, Tony sinks into the soft padded chair.

'It's just – I guess I need a minute, you know, the adrenaline rush – we've just had a breakthrough –'

'Shut up,' Pepper orders him and handles him a glass of cold water, Tony has no idea where it came from, but he accepts it gratefully. 'Are you okay?'

'Just crashing from an adrenalin rush, I guess,' he admits and drinks the rest of the water, The steady cold sensation of the liquid helps him focus, it's a strange discovery, but a pleasant one. He accepts a piece of chocolate candy from Pepper, not really surprised she'd have that one her, and a few moments later he feels ready to go upstairs and get his picnic share, and then maybe go home and lay down and listen to JARVIS' steady voice talking science to him. Yes. That sounds perfect.

A/N: Beta by Kae & dri-dri93, thank you!

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked this chapter and maybe found some answers you've been waiting for, I'll be eternally thankful if you let me know what you think, what you like and don't like, your opinions are very important to me :)