Emmett evenly spread the spackle onto the wall. One Bears game and eight hundred dollars had led to his fist making a giant hole in the wall and Jasper's endless amusement. Oh well, at least it'd been fun. Esme wouldn't think so though, so here he was, repairing the damn wall. Emmett sighed. Kate had been watching him again. He quickly finished repairing the wall. Once it dried he'd paint it and hope Esme wouldn't be too angry when she got home. "Kate are you going to just stare at me?"

"If I want."

"Well, I am pretty sexy." He flexed, admiring himself. "Yeah, I'm definitely the hottest man on earth. Do they give awards for that sort of thing?"

"Of course. I'll take you to the beautiful people committee and crown you our king. I hope you like our gifts of gold and mirrors for you gaze upon your glorious self."

"Wow Kate, your reverence sounds an awful like sarcasm." He turned to her, grinning. She sat on the couch opposite him, long legs crossed and a smirk on her lips. Emmett picked up he spackle knife and tray and tucked the end of a rag he'd used into his pocket. He made his way outside and used the hose to rinse the items in his hands and headed for the garage, drying them. He listened as Kate approached. He looked at her curiously, wondering what she wanted. She looked ready to say something but Emmett needed to get something off his chest.

"Thank you Kate."

She looked at him. "For what?"

He replaced the items in his hands to their rightful place. "These past two years haven't been exactly easy. Anala's memory was the only thing that kept me from . . ." he trailed off, memories of standing at the edge of a blazing fire he'd built replaying with completely clarity his head. He could remember the colors of the high flames and burning, crackling wood beneath it, standing so close he could feel the intense burning heat of it over his body. He couldn't even be sure if that had been his lowest moment, there had been too many others. Emmett hadn't just lost Anala, he had shut off his humanity, becoming a monster hovering on the very brink of letting himself go completely to ease the pain. "you always made it less shitty. You were always telling me to pull my head out of my ass and I needed that." Emmett pulled her close and hugged her. "I know I'm a pain, so thanks. Truly."

Kate sighed. "You dumbass."

A painful jolt went through his back and he hissed, then chuckled. "Ow."

"Whoops."

She pulled back and stared at him. "I've never seen you so wrecked. I used to look at you and wonder how you could change so quickly."

"I lost the one thing I couldn't go without." The answer was simple but the weight of it had been too painful to endure.

"Does she really mean that much to you?"

"More," he told her honestly.

"Why?"

Emmett smiled. "You know, Anala asked me something along those lines a while back. I guess I'm the only one who gets it."

"Gets it?"

"There's no me without her." they belonged to each other so deeply it was forever imprinted on their skin. He didn't deserve her, but she was his. Emmett knew a part of Anala was still that scared girl who had been taught she was nothing and worried she'd bring nothing but misery to him. She didn't think herself worth it, and he now held responsibility for part of that for how he had treated her after she mysteriously returned from death. Emmett could feel the difference in their relationship. They loved each other. It was intense and passionate and completely consuming, yet it was cracked and tainted with pain and hurt. One of his biggest regrets. But he felt her love every time those mesmeric eyes met his own. He could do nothing but love her in return and prove to her that part of her was wrong.

Kate's eyes narrowed almost auspiciously. "I doubt her Emmett. If she loved you—really loved you, she would not be so alright with us being as close as we are. She caught us fucking in your bed. Why is she okay with that? She's weak Em."

"Is that what you think?" he asked. "I guess I can understand why. If it were Rose, or even you, someone would be getting their face ripped off and I would be doomed. Anala is different. She honestly likes you Kate, it doesn't make her weak, it makes her strong and you didn't even notice how strong she really is. Anala wasn't angry because she . . ." Emmett shook his head at the sheer absurdity of his words. "She's not the type to hold a grudge that way. She's strong enough to take a slap in the face like that and forgive it without passing judgement."

Kate's expression softened and she smiled a bit.

"You really love her."

"I do. And in some messed up way, I don't think we'd be together right now if it weren't for you."

Kate shook her head. "No, I'm sure something would have come along and pushed you two together again." She paused and stared up at him for a long moment. "You know, Rose told me once that Anala was good for you. I didn't understand it until now. No matter what I tried, you have never once had that look that you have right now when you looked at me. She isn't even here, just the mention of Anala and one look into your eyes says it all."

"Kate . . ." he never knew she felt this way. It had never been mentioned. Kate was awesome, he loved her. But he had never had the thought to actually pursue something more on the relationship spectrum, and Kate had her share of willing lovers, some they had shared together throughout the years. Had she been giving off signs this entire time? Was he really that oblivious? He was usually good at reading women. Emmett didn't know what to say.

"Did you ever feel anything like that for me? Ever?"

"Kate I . . ." he stared at her. What do I say? He didn't want to hurt her, Kate was closer than blood. He didn't want to hurt her but he wasn't going to lie to her either. Kate shook her head.

"I knew it." golden eyes met his own and she smiled. "Can you blame me though? Loving you is like loving the sun. Easy to do but I can never really have it." She suddenly grabbed him and kissed him. Their lips moved together and he held her slim hips, returning it softly. Kate pulled back after a moment, licking her lips.

"Damn, Em. The Committee won't know what hit them."

He laughed before kissing her cheeks. "Kate I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I've got better things to do than be the heartsick lover."

"You wouldn't have been happy with me."

"How would you know? The thought to try hadn't even occurred to you."

Emmett shook his head. "That's exactly why. Any man worthy of you wouldn't even need to try and think. They'd know the hardheaded, crazy sadist in the pretty blonde packaging was perfect and every day should be spent making sure you knew. If I was a woman I'd be you, we're too alike. You would've killed me."

"That's true."

"Hey Kate?"

"What?"

He grinned.

"You love me."

She shoved his chest halfheartedly. "Shut up."

Anala stood near the river, watching the water. The sound of the flowing river was calming. A balmy aching was traveling through her back. It was uncomfortable but easy enough to ignore, at least for the moment. Anala felt the buzz in the air, the itch under her skin. It wouldn't be much longer now. Anala got the sense she was being watched but she didn't acknowledge it, waiting. It was quiet, evening beginning to set in and with it came rainclouds.

"Anala?" she turned. Edward stood behind her. Anala paused. The vampire looked troubled. His dark gold eyes were clouded and his expression grim. His messy copper hair looked messier than usual, telling her he'd been running his hands through it. Anala turned to him completely, worried.

"Edward are you alright?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

Edward stepped closer and offered his arm like the perfect gentleman. She took it and the vampire led her into the woods. They walked in silence. Anala didn't break it, figuring he needed to collect his thoughts. They moved through the forest, a blend of greens and browns, footsteps silent on the earth. She had never really spent a lot of time with Edward alone like this. There was always at least one other person there and she had never really gotten the opportunity to do so with the escalation of events that year. Anala was happy to finally talk to Edward. She knew Edward was a thoughtful person, he weighed things carefully in his mind, and while it was a good thing to have, sometimes he seemed to overthink things and it ended up leaving him troubled.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know who to go to."

"Don't apologize. I just hope I can help. Is everything okay?"

Edward didn't say anything and Anala stopped, keeping her hand in the crook of his arm. He stopped with her. She stared off into the trees, listening to distant thunder. "Tell me," she said softly.

"Anala, do you think that one day you'll want to be with someone else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Other than Emmett. Do you think that you'll love him but want to be with others?"

Anala looked at him, curious about the random question. "Well, I'm pretty open. I suppose so, I mean it isn't something I'm unfamiliar with, and my kind are too connected to put names to physical reactions. I would, but if it bothered Em then n—"

Edward looked startled. "No, no! That wasn't what I meant. Sorry I guess I should've rephrased that."

There was an awkward pause. Anala laughed.

"Well now that you know more about my sexual preferences than you probably thought you would, we're closer than family."

He smiled and chuckled a bit. "I can't argue that."

"How about you try again?" she suggested.

"Do you ever wonder if one day, maybe years from now, that Emmett isn't what you thought you wanted?"

Anala looked up at him. "No Edward, I don't."

"Why?"

"Because when I look at him, when I talk with him, even when we fight and argue, I could never picture not having those things. Our relationship isn't perfect, and there's obstacles but it's ours. I can feel it inside and that tells me that I could never love another like I love him. He's more than I could've ever hoped for."

"You never doubted you might not love him like you thought?"

"Of all the things I've doubted involving that man, my feelings towards him was never one. Why do you ask?"

"I love Bella, I do . . ."

"But?"

Edward paused before his thoughts finally spilled out. "But it isn't the same anymore. She bothers me, simply by doing things I have seen her do countless of times before. I used to want to spend my time just observing her, being in her company but now I feel like there's a sense of obligation and not desire. It's as if I'm drifting and she ties a tether around me and keeps me there. I want her to be happy and live a long life but everything we ever seem to talk about is her shoving her opinions at me and telling me I should change her when that is the last thing I want to do. I don't want to take her humanity away. Who would want this anyway?"

"Edward I don't understand what you need from me."

Storm clouds hovered in his eyes. "I need you to tell me I'm wrong to think this way if I love her."

"Oh, Edward I don't think I should get inv—"

"Please, it's alright, I'm asking you for your thoughts."

Anala paused, debating. "You want me to tell you that's wrong?" He nodded. "Why would I do that? It obvious to me you're unhappy. If you feel obligated to spend time with Bella then you should listen to what your heart is saying to you. You feel like you're drowning don't you? You've tethered yourself to her and it's starting to feel more like a restraint. If you've made your thoughts clear that you don't want to Turn her, which it makes you uncomfortable having to go over it with her again and again then Bella shouldn't be pushing you. She should respect that. But she's young and oblivious to the pain that can be inflicted on others."

"It's more than that. She isn't listening. She has this entire scenario in her head and it's so wrong, this existence isn't as picturesque as she imagines it to be. I'm noticing the difference in our relationship to yours or jaspers or Carlisle's. Rosalie and Javan were right, she doesn't love me, just the idea of me and living forever. I was blind, I couldn't see it but . . ." his voice softened. "Does that make me a terrible person?"

Anala wondered how long he had been bottling this inside. "It makes you human."

Edward pressed his lips together. It was getting dark now and the ache in her back was beginning to become more noticeable, making her shift. He turned them, leading her back the way they came. "I'm going to have to hurt her, aren't I?"

"The alternative isn't very good either. I know you're a good man Edward, you want to do what's right and that's honorable but please don't disregard your own happiness."

Edward paused and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "Thank you Anala. I'm happy you took the time to talk with me."

Anala looked up at him as they walked. "I would have thought you'd go to Carlisle."

A frown tugged at his lips. "So did I, in all honesty. I don't know, I can't really explain it. It just occurred to me you were a good choice to seek out."

Anala squeezed his arm. "I'm glad you did. I didn't think you liked me very much."

Edward paused. "I suppose I can understand why you thought that. I like you very much Anala. You're interesting and you make my brother too happy for words. I never meant to make you think otherwise. You're family."

Fire bursting through her shoulder blades made her steps falter, taking her breath away.

"Are you okay?"

A shooting pain radiated along her spine and she cried out, legs giving out in shock. Edward caught her. "Anala!"

"I'm fine," she gasped, trying to gather herself.

Edward knelt, holding her against him as he pulled his phone to his ear. "Clearly you're not." He told her. Anala shuddered and hissed as the burn started to become more and more like a hot poker being dragged down her back. "Nolan, I'm with Anala. It's starting—yes I'm sure."

"Edward." Gold eyes looked at her as he spoke. "Alright." He hung up and Anala was swept up in his arms as he took off.

Anala groaned. "Put me down!" what was it with the Cullen men thinking she was a damsel in distress? She had legs. Walking was not a newly formed skill for her. She was suddenly in the backyard and Edward set her down gently and Anala peeled off her jacket, hissing. Her hands shook as she pulled off her shirt. She looked to him. "Take it off."

"What?"

She gestured to her back and the clasp of her bra. "Take it o—aah!" Anala's back was on fire. Her ribs felt like they were on the verge of breaking. The bra straps slipped down her arms and she tossed it away onto her shirt. Large hands grabbed her and Anala pulled away from Emmett, too distracted by the slashing agony making its way through her shoulders. Anala thought it would be easier this time around. But she had forgotten how disorientating it was, how painful. The same instinctual fear that had taken hold all those years ago was right there, gripping her tight as she tried to keep herself from being consumed by the pain.