CHAPTER 4

The bright light hurt Lexa's eyes. They weren't even open yet and still the light burned. Then as if by magic the light darkened. The pounding in Lexa's head subsided. She felt the end of the bed sink down with extra weight and heard heavy breathing. She slowly opened her eyes, the sunlight was still present. But it had been blocked out from her immediate view by what looked like a small tent within the tent.

Costia was standing on her bed fashioning the fabric contraption to the roof of the tent. The fabric blocked the sun's rays completely off her face and body. In her effort Costia grunted and looked down, her eyes caught Lexa's.

"I'm so sorry to wake you Heda." The girl said breathlessly trying to tie a complex knot in the material to keep it hanging.

"I saw that the light was disturbing your rest and thought that I ought to get rid of it somehow. You've getting so much better these last few days. I'd hate to had the sun ruin It."

"You needn't fret Costia." Lexa said simply reaching to wipe the sleep from her eyes. The movement caused a jolt of pain to stab through her arm as she remembered that that was the shoulder that had been stabbed.

Within a moment Costia was by her side holding Lexa's arm steady. "Easy." She said cradling Lexa's arm.

"It is fine." Lexa said slightly irritated by the girl's concern for only a small bit of pain.

To her surprise the red haired healer glared at her. "It is not fine Lexa. It has been hurting you for the last two days whenever you moved it."

Lexa was about tear her arm from Costia's grip, about to insist that pain was a part of life and that she could handle it, but then the girl began to rotate the limb. Rotate is the best word to describe the action. The healer placed pressure on Lexa's shoulder blade while at the same time rotating her arm in smooth circles. A sigh a pleasure escaped the Commander's lips. The burning that seemed to be an everyday sensation in the shoulder had suddenly vanished. Lexa felt herself melting into the bed.

"There." The healer whispered, sensing Lexa's relaxation. "How is that?"

Lexa exhaled softly releasing any remaining tension in her body. "Continue."
Costia raised an eyebrow.

"Please." Lexa conceded.

The healer smirked slyly. "I will continue."
Lexa let a small smile cross her face. Over the last few weeks this young healer had grown a very strong backbone. She did not allow Lexa to impede her work and enforced her medical treatments upon Lexa sometimes against her wishes, but always for the best. The girl had also opened up more with each time Lexa was lucid. It was almost frustrating to Lexa because she would always wake and learn what deep secrets her delirious self had confided to the healer and then would need to ask the healer to equalize herself. Lexa often wondered what the girl would say to her delirious self, she also wished that she could be as open with Costia while conscious.
After a moment of silence Costia stopped her massaging. She looked down at Lexa.

"May I try something Commander?"

"As I have said you may call me Lexa in here Costia." The girl said eyes closed in bliss.

"Of course Lexa." Costia said breathlessly, Lexa got the distinct impression that Costia had not forgotten how to address her patient but merely enjoyed the reinforcement of the special privilege she had been granted these last few weeks. "May I try something new Lexa?" Costia prompted.

Lexa opened them slowly and looked at the other girl. "You may Costia."

Costia nodded and released Lexa's arm and took a step back. Lexa felt of twinge of bitterness as her arm fell to her side and the pleasure began to subside.
The healer examined her patient from a far, contemplating what she about to do. Lexa felt like laughing for there was such a serious expression on the normally such good-natured face of the freckled girl.

After a moment Costia gave a slight nod and stepped towards Lexa. "Sit up."

Lexa raised and eyebrow at the girl playfully. Costia laughed catching the joke. "Please." She added overemphasizing the word.
Lexa obliged and struggled to lift her still fragile body into a sitting position. Once she reached a certain height Costia moved closer and helped prop her up to a full sitting position. Once she was sitting however the girl did not release her grip. Instead to Lexa's surprise she sat in the vacant space Lexa had created behind her.

"Lean back against me." Costia said gently. Lexa opened her mouth to object. The thought of being so close to the girl made her insides squirm. They didn't necessarily squirm with discomfort. In fact Lexa was having a hard time trying to deduce why she thought leaning back against the girl was a poor decisions. Lexa's mind didn't have time to form a conclusion because without waiting for a response the healer wrapped her arms around Lexa and easily pulled her into her.

Lexa felt her body tense as she leaned her back against Costia's chest but then Costia's hands went to work on her shoulder.

"Oh." This time Lexa did make a sound of relief as Costia place pressure on her shoulder. It was if Costia knew exactly where the pain was centered and how to relieve it. Lexa's body went limp in bliss and she was grateful that Costia had insisted on this position for Lexa did not have to put any effort in remaining sitting upright. It also granted Costia access to new techniques and better ways to heal the shoulder.

"How's that?" Costia whispered, Lexa realized just how close the girl's mouth was to her ear.

Lexa managed a laugh. "Oh, you know exactly how it feels." Lexa felt a smile form on Costia's face.

"Good." She said and continued with her work. Suddenly a thought struck Lexa. Ignoring the loss of her bliss she forced herself to sit up slightly. The movement shocked Costia and she stopped her massaging. Lexa turned her head to look at the healer.

"You have done so much for me dear Costia." She said. "You have cared for me for nearly a moon, you have fed me, clothed me, held me in fits, even blocked the sun from my eyes."

Costia said nothing. She diverted her eyes from Lexa's dark and fierce gaze.

"You have brought me relief and relaxation. Now tell me. How can I do the same to you." Lexa finished the last of her words breathlessly; almost fearful of what was to come. She had no notion of what Costia would say to this. Perhaps she would merely insist that it was her job, her duty to aide the commander as that was the task she had appointed her with. But somehow Lexa had hope.

Costia was silent. She found herself unable to respond to Lexa's question. The commander had always proven to render her speechless.

Lexa lowered her face trying to look at Costia's face. "Speak it." She said simply and I will oblige."

These words reignited the fire that had burned in Costia's chest for many days now and gave her enough courage to look at the patient

For a moment the two woman stared into one another's eyes, into each other's souls. Then Lexa began to lean in towards the red headed girl. She became so close that the two could feel their warm breathes on their faces. Costia's breath was shuddering and Lexa could feel the girl practically shaking. Lexa closed her eyes as she felt Costia's nose touch her own. Her heart was beating faster than it had in any battle she had ever fought.

"Is this what you wish Costia?" Lexa whispered lips brushing against Costia's.

Costia let out a small groan and closed the gap between them. Lexa had thought that Costia's treatments on her shoulder were blissful but they were nothing compared to the feeling of her lips. Costia's lips were warm and soft, softer than anything she'd ever touched.

Costia slowly raised her hand and gripped Lexa's face trying to deepen the kiss. Lexa obliged, sucking Costia's lower lips into her own mouth. The two let out a collective sigh. Costia stroke Lexa's cheek, Lexa ran her good hand down through Costia's fiery red hair before resting her hand on the girl's back.

Costia's breath quickened at the touch and pulled Lexa closer towards her. Unfortunately, at the particular angle they were kissing Lexa's shoulder was taking a considerable amount of strain and that small bit of motion tipped the scales. Lexa reluctantly broke the embrace and gasped in pain.

"Forgive me!" Costia said quickly and in an instant was off the bed and on the other side of the tent. There was a dark fear in her eyes, her hand shot to her mouth feeling her lips. "Please forgive me Heda." Costia's brilliant green eyes began to grow reflective with impending tears. "I forget myself."

"Costia." Lexa said slightly fearful herself. She had never lost herself in someone in that way before, these feelings were all new to her. Of course before she'd been named Commander she had experienced intimacy. It was required of all Commanders to experience such things, so they could be aware of it. Intimacy was a form of power and manipulation therefore Lexa was required to well versed in it. But this was new. There had been no passion with her other partners, there was no fire burning in her stomach when they had kissed her. This fire was weakness, it was attachment, all things frowned upon by those around her. She could not be weak; she needed to remain a rock in a stormy sea for her people, yet this healer. This girl had cracked her armor somehow and she didn't want it repaired.