Footpaths (part 5)

On Friday, after the last visit to the clinic in this course, Iron Man makes his way to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ for an R&D team meeting. He listens what everyone has to say closely and when it's his turn to speak, he shares the few details he came up with about the Chitauri devices.

'I don't think I can give you any more expertise than I already did,' he adds at the end of his monologue. 'We know how the weapons function, how they are powered, we know how to use them, and there is nothing more to be done about them, apparently. I'm unable to help you build similar ones, all out attempts at reverse engineering have been futile, so I will be resigning from the team. I'm sorry about that. There are other matters I need to attend.'

There is a wave of murmurs and then one of the scientists speaks up.

'But you will be available for contact if there is any breakthrough on the case?'

'I will,' Iron Man assures them and nods at the next person to speak.

When the meeting is over, he shakes everyone's hands and leaves quickly. On his way back to the roof landing pad he fancies he sees Fury straining at him from a far end of a corridor but he's not called in so he just takes off and flies back home.

The next day Tony goes to Riverside after a week's long break. The weather has gotten nicer within the last few days and while everything is still covered with snow, it's not so freezing anymore, so when he arrives most of the kids are making snowmen and running around. They seem pretty content by themselves so Tony just waves at them and goes inside. After a one-glance head count he's just made, he knows that four kids are unaccounted for.

'Hello, Nate,' Joan greets him and takes his coat despite his silent protest. 'You're a guest,' she explains simply.

'Who's in?' he types and lets her see the question on the tablet skin.

'Tiffany, River and Rosa. They were down with a cold earlier this week, they're fine now but I'd rather not risk them running around getting sweaty in that weather.' Tony nods in agreement, frowning a bit, because that's still not everyone.

'Marcel is upstairs with Bruce,' she adds. 'He had to skip this week's meeting because of a school function, but he didn't want to miss the lesson, so they're doing it now.'

'That's nice,' Tony types. Joan smiles.

'The kids are in the playroom. I believe there are dolls involved.'

'Sounds like fun,' Tony adds and shrugs. He's never had real toys, not really, as he took more interest in things he could break apart and put together, rather than simply play with, when he was just a toddler. He's always been the one to make things, not to come up with imaginary stories.

The kids welcome him enthusiastically and drag him down to sit on the carpeted floor, and then he's put in charge of building a home for the three dolls while they are being named and dressed. There are lots of items that don't resemble house appliances at all, in addition to what looks like a pre-made big set of toys, but Tony has created enough insane things in his life to have no problem with making a couch out of an old tissue box – it even has a nice pattern, matching the real furniture's colors – or a trash can from an empty toilet paper roll.

Tony ends up playing something alike JARVIS for the kids, being a sentient and prank-making house robot who communicates with the inhabitants via text messages. Tony's phone gets installed instead of one of the house's windows, pretending to be a big screen, and it's wired to his tablet: when he types, the letters appear on the phone screen, too. It's good that all the kids can read, even if Rosa, being the youngest one, needs some help with a few longer words.

But they're doing great overall and by the end of the playtime, when the other kids are getting back inside for lunch and Tony's mini team puts back their dolls into boxed neatly, Tony wishes he could take them all home to meet his bots because they are so amazingly easy-going and they treat the play-robot with more empathy than some people treat others in real life. Dummy would just spontaneously ignite out of the excitement with so many humans to play with.

He can't quite let people see Dummy because he's always been publicly linked to Tony Stark, and Butterfingers and You too, and the other bots aren't A.I.s so they wouldn't know how to play. And the workshop itself is a very dangerous place, but maybe he could take the older kids there, that's something to think about.

'Will you stay for dinner?' Tony hears a familiar voice and turns around, smiling at Annik with Lino in her arms. Tony is just about to say that yes, why not, when he notices Bruce descending from the stairs, with Marcel his side, talking at machine gun speed.

'I'm sorry, not today,' he types and gives her an apologetic look. 'Next time, I hope,' he adds, waves goodbye at the kids, and makes his way to the entrance hall.

'Hey,' he signs at Bruce, catching up with the man just outside the building.

'Didn't know you were here today – oh. I forgot it's Saturday.'

'Don't manage to come over every week,' Tony types quickly, Bruce glancing over his shoulder. 'How was your lesson?'

'We discussed some experiments and them we had a run with optical physics. Not Marcel's favorite, though. I think he's more of particle kind of a guy.'

'So you will create another specialist for CERN to steal from us?'

'I think S.H.I.E.L.D. will take him in straight out of college, if he continues like this, before Europeans can land their hands on him,' Bruce states, chuckling drily. Tony agrees completely, S.H.I.E.L.D. can be very possessive, and they are very patient, too.

'Want to grab lunch?'

'Do you have anything in mind?'

'Not really,' Tony admits, adjusting his hat. It still annoys him, after all those months, but not wearing it means feeling too cold.

'I know a place. Not that far, we could walk, okay with you?'

Tony nods in agreement and follows Bruce, half a step behind, for the next ten minutes or so. They get into a small, cozy-looking place that smells like butter and herbs, and Bruce leads Tony to a table in far corner, facing the entrance and giving them a nice view of the room.

'Anything you can't eat?' Bruce asks and Tony wonders for a second, but nothing comes to his mind, so he shakes his head for no. 'Then I'll order,' he adds and walks up to the counter, talking with the woman in rapid Spanish.

'Spanish?' he types, raising an eyebrow, but Bruce just shrugs.

'They have a weird cuisine mix here, whatever the chef feels like doing with the ingredients she gets fresh in the morning. Here,' he adds, placing a steaming cup in front of Tony. 'You look like you can use it. You cold?'

'No,' Tony signs, lying just a little bit. He is kinda cold most of the time, these days, but generally ignores that completely, and today is no worse than usual.

'I heard you told off S.H.I.E.L.D. weapons division.'

'News travel fast,' Tony types with one hand, supping the hot liquid. It's surprisingly sweet and full of warm, spicy flavors. 'We weren't getting anywhere anymore.'

'So I heard. Sounds like a good decision.'

'Why?' Tony signs with his free hand.

'You look like you're overworked,' Bruce says timidly, observing Tony's reaction, but he's not staring, just fixing his usual soft gaze on Tony with way too much concern. 'Don't say you're fine. I'm not going to pester you about that, it's your thing to take care of, so,' he trails off, running a hand through his curly hair a little bit awkwardly.

Sometimes Tony thinks he'd give everything to have this man-puppy in his lab, but then he had himself laughing at his own ridiculous thoughts.

'Just make sure you eat enough and come by for a movie night or something,' Bruce adds quickly, before setting his hands on the table. 'But I won't say anything more. I was meaning to ask you, have you hears about Doctor Foster's newest research? I'm no astrophysicist, but she got some very interesting readings –'

'I've seen the file,' Tony manages to type and then the women from the counter comes up with a tray of steaming bowls and plates, and they eat and talk until Tony's fingers seriously ache from all that tapping and Bruce's voice gets almost croaky.

When Tony gets back home, Happy drags him downstairs for a neighbor meeting and Tony smiles and listens and eats some of the homemade hors d'oeuvres, skillfully ignoring all the elderly ladies' wonders about his supposed second half.

Finally back in his workshop, with a cup of hot cocoa in his hand, Tony asks JARVIS to show him the night sky and relaxes in his armchair.

'You know, J, it was all nice, but I enjoyed being a hermit mad billionaire engineer a lot. I think that's enough socializing for like a year,' he sighs, staring at the holographic constellations, a perfect replica of what's hiding behind the clouds that have been hanging over New York for too long.

'Then I feel obliged to apologize in advance for reminding you that Colonel Rhodes, Miss Potts and Doctor Eisen will come over tomorrow for dinner,' JARVIS comments, sounding just a little bit soft underneath the sass.

'Happy's birthday,' Tony nods. 'That's fine. They're gonna harass him for once, not me.'

'Knowing your friends, I wouldn't count on it, sir –'

'Think he'll mind when I tell him his birthday gift will be a bit late?'

'Studying the dynamics between you, I would way he is likely to tease you and pretend to be offended and when he learns what the gift is, he will call you mad.'

'You're so damn helpful,' Tony murmurs fondly, waving at Butterfingers to come up. He's the shiest of the bots but he needs his quota of petting, too.

'I live to please,' JARVIS replies dryly, making Tony laugh, his voice echoing dully in the dark space.

The mini birthday party goes nicely and Happy reacts to Tony's gift notice more or less like JARVIS predicted which made Tony laugh a bit more that he should, but no one was surprised by that. He and JARVIS are totally allowed to have their own weird secrets.

The next few days are pretty mundane. Tony goes out with Annik, spends some time working with Rhodey and building random stuff in the big workshop, just to let his hands do some real work. He trains with Happy – cycling indoors while watching really bad horror movies is fun even if short breath doesn't help with that – and one time he even takes out Mrs. Linz for a long walk and a lunch in a nearby café.

Sleeping doesn't go too well and it annoys Tony endlessly because his body seems to need the rest but it unable to get it, but in the end it proves helpful when sometime around 1 a.m. on Friday night JARVIS speaks up in a soft tone. The sudden shift from the soft guitar music that was playing in the background still makes Tony flinch.

'Sir, I was asked to relay a message from you.'

'Oh?' Tony asks, blinking the half-sleep away and rubbing his eyes. His arms feel numb, he's been sitting unmoving for to long.

'It was Ijon who asked me.'

'Steve,' Tony knows, of course, because who else can be up at night at this hour. Come to think of it, more people could, but Tony isn't close enough to them to be bothered in the middle of the night, unless it was an emergency which he hopes so much it isn't.

'Yes,' the A.I. confirms, making Tony exhale and then scoff at how he's already overthinking everything. Already.

'Well, what's the message then? Spare me the suspense, okay? Is Steve home?' Tony adds, suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be on a mission.

'He and Agent Romanov came back almost four hours ago. They debriefed with Agent Coulson and retreated to their rooms.'

'And?'

'Ijon asked me to inform you that Steve seems to be very distressed and yet he refused to share any details with Ijon when he enquired.'

Tony smiles at how JARVIS says Steve with the same disapproving note a butler from that British series Happy likes to watch scolded the servants for saying something inappropriate. But Steve being distressed enough to make Ijon inform J and therefore Tony, that doesn't sound well.

'Ijon suggested that your presence might help Captain Rogers in this situation.'

'I'm terrible at people,' Tony answers automatically, running a head across his non-existent hair in a gesture he thought he got rid of months ago. 'I wouldn't know – how the hell would I be supposed to make it better? You know I'm not good at people.'

'So you keep telling yourself, sir,' JARVIS says levelly. 'Shall I remind you of all times you acted in contrary to those words? Starting with the time Iron Man almost let Captain Rogers cry in his lap.'

'J, you're close to crossing the line,' Tony says accusingly, pretty sure the A.I. will talk him into going over to the HQ anyway and he will protest but not really.

'Mark IX is ready for deployment,' JARVIS just says and Tony nods, taking off his dressing gown and pulling on a warm hoodie. It takes him two more minutes to make sure he looks like Nate, grabs his glasses, and a moment later he's in the air.

Steve's door is closed and it's no surprise.

Tony walks through the house in the suit – it's lighter and more flexible than Mark X, so it's good for a stealth mission like this – but he doesn't have to worry about noise too much, anyway. Steve's room is the only one in the southern wing of the house and on the top floor.

He tells Ijon not to tell Steve he came by, just knocks at the door and waits.

There is no sign of movement inside, no light, no noises, so Tony knocks again. And waits. After a long moment he hears a shuffle and a few light sounds getting closer, and then it all stops. Maybe if he wasn't in the suit, he would be able to feel what's going on behind the door, but he can't so he asks JARVIS for a quick word.

'Captain Rogers is standing a feet away from the door, listening, sir,' JARVIS says reluctantly. Tony frowns because he didn't expect that one at all.

'Steve,' he says and JARVIS conveys it in Iron Man's metallic voice, keeping it quiet. 'Let me in,' he adds and holds his breath, waiting.

A few seconds later there is more shuffling and then the door opens, revealing the dark room with Steve nowhere in sight. Tony steps in and as soon as the door's closed, he gets out of the armor and turns around, taking out his phone and showing Steve a pre-written message saying Ijon asked me to come. What's wrong?

Steve squints a bit at the screen's light when he reads the words, his face lit up distortedly by the white-blue halo.

'I'm all right,' he replies sharply, taking a step back. 'You didn't have to come. I will talk with Ijon about this, I'm sorry you're here in the middle of the night –'

'I wasn't sleeping anyway,' Tony types. Steve nods. 'And I'm glad Ijon called. I would be mad at him if he didn't. I programmed him, remember?'

'Yeah,' Steve breathes, taking yet another step back.

Tony stays unmoving, looking at Steve with a frown on his face, and wonders what is the right thing to do – say, type – right now. Obviously something during the mission unsettled Steve pretty roughly but Tony can't remember anything from the file JARVIS got him that would indicate what kind of something it was, and Steve certainly doesn't look like he'd like to talk about that.

'I'll make tea,,' Tony types in the end, lets Steve read the message and makes his way to where he remembers the kettle is, but a few steps later he notices that he's walking on pieces of paper, laying randomly all across the room's floor, filled with lines and doodles that don't make much sense to Tony, at least not in this half-darkness. He stops just for a second, though, listening to Steve's heavy breathes suddenly audible when the rustle underneath Tony's feet ceases, and then makes his way towards the end of the room decisively.

Steve is sitting on the sofa when Tony has the tea ready in two big mugs. He pulls a small table he almost bumped into closer to the sofa, places the mugs on the top, and sits down, giving Steve his space.

They sit in silence for long moments and when Tony is feeling like he's going to doze off any minute, Steve moves reluctantly, takes the now-lukewarm mug and drinks it all in one go.

'We had terrible tea in Russia,' he says quietly. 'Nat complained about it a lot. She said they used to have the best tea there, but then we were undercover in a snow-buried town. In the middle of nowhere. So no one should expect luxuries like good food.'

Tony nods, cradling his mug between his cold hands, and waits for more words.

'It was just causalities,' Steve says finally, a few long moments later. Then he puts his mug away. 'I didn't – not everything went as planned. It wasn't like New York battle, it wasn't like the war, it was just random and unnecessary and terrible and I – I shouldn't even be here.'

'Why?' Tony types, ignoring how his hands are trembling slightly.

'Children,' Steve just says, burying his face in his big hands. Tony feels the urge to wrap his arm around Steve's back reassuringly, or just touch him, letting the soldier know that someone is there with him, but it doesn't seem like a good idea. Steve is far too tense for that.

'Go to her,' Tony types and fixed his eyes on Steve, waiting for him to look up. Then he adds, 'if she isn't with someone else.'

When Steve sees the words, he shrugs unsurely and presses his lips in a tight line.

'They aren't – I wouldn't know –'

'She needs you,' Tony adds. 'And you might need her, too. Go.'

It takes Steve a long moment, but he stands up and walks out of the room, not looking back. Tony sighs, puts the mugs into the sink and stands in the middle of the big space, his eyes now used to the cozy blackness, so strange to him as he doesn't cover the arc reactor up at home. The darkness is blue in his own little world.

'Sir, please go home and rest,' JARVIS says from Tony's phone that's still in his hand. 'I am sure Captain Rogers and Agent Romanov will manage to tend to themselves, especially given that they share the experiences of the unfortunate mission. You have a meeting tomorrow that you should attend and it would be beneficial for you to get some sleep. And it is 2:53 a.m. already.'

'All right,' Tony agrees, but only because he doesn't know what he would say if Steve came back. What is the right thing to say in such situation, Tony's pretty sure there isn't one. But he could ignore the exhaustion creeping up on him. He could, if he wanted to, he tells himself silently letting JARVIS wrap the suit around him and sneaking out of the HQ as silently as possible.

A/N: Thank you for reading and sorry for the wait :) I'm still in the process of moving so I don't have much time. The next update will be sooner, I hope :)