Footpaths (part 7)

Steve calls on Saturday morning when Tony is about to leave for Riverside and asks if they could meet up sometime.

'I developed some photos…I thought you might want to see them? You helped me a lot with the camera –'

'Spider Man helped you more than me,' Tony says and lets JARVIS forward it to Steve in the voice that Nate uses. 'But sure, we can meet. How about you come to my place? You haven't had a chance to see it yet. You could meet my personal A.I. – he's a sweetheart.'

'I heard he has some skills,' Steve chuckles; Tony can imagine Clint's tales pretty well. 'Tomorrow is good?'

'Lunchtime?' Tony asks, hoping for a yes because he'll need his evening hours to pack and prepare for the hospital stay.

'Sounds perfect.'

'I'll email you the address and directions – see you around noon?'

'Swell,' Steve replies cheerfully and hangs up and the room around Tony is suddenly filled with thick silence.

'JARVIS, make sure to remind me to get some groceries so that we can make edible food tomorrow. Also, straws.'

'Straws, sir?' the A.I. asks reluctantly, sounding as curious as he gets.

'Yeah, straws, I'm gonna make us milkshakes or something, remember Steve liked them, right? That time we did a road trip? Milkshakes will be swell. Also, when I'm in the clinic and they dose me with something, I want my own set of lovely bendy straws to drink from.'

'I will mark it as of utmost importance, then.'

Tony snickers, putting on his scarf and hat, wondering for millionth time why he created such a smartass creature. Maybe Tony's not the only one who can put up with J's sassiness – Rhodey is good at it. And Pepper. That makes Tony feel safe.

'I brought cake,' is the first thing Steve says when Tony-as-Nate opens the door and a moment later Steve pushes the box into Tony's hands and follows him inside. Tony doesn't even have a moment to protest because he doesn't like to be handed things – but then Nate doesn't mind. Nate isn't obsessive about being handed things.

'Welcome, Captain Rogers,' JARVIS says politely, just like Tony asked him to. They had a talk about how the A.I. should behave when strangers come by a long time ago, but since Steve knows about Iron Man and Nate, Tony let JARVIS be more at ease. 'I'm sure sir would greet you, too, if his hands weren't full of cake.'

'Oh,' Steve falters, taking off his thin jacket. 'Sorry for that,' he smiles sheepishly. Tony rolls his eyes at JARVIS and moves inside the flat, Steve a few steps behind him, and places the cake on the dining table.

'Don't mind him, JARVIS can be a prankster sometimes,' he lets the A.I. translate his signs. 'Thanks for the cake, you didn't have to –'

'I made it. Banana with chocolate frosting. Hope you like bananas?'

'Banana and chocolate is great,' Tony assures Steve and smiles when he sees Cap trying to copy the movements of his hands, spelling banana and chocolate, so he shows them a few more times, until Steve gets them right. 'I made pasta salad. Hope you like pasta salad?' he asks, quirking an eyebrow, and Steve beams.

'Pasta salad is great,' he says. 'You know, I really wanted to thank you for inviting me over,' he adds, taking the plates Tony took out of a cupboard a moment ago and setting them on the table. 'It's – well, this'll be another old-fashioned notion, maybe, but it's an… intimate experience to be in someone's private space. It says a lot about you.'

'What does this say about me?' Tony asks, gesturing at the surrounding room, and takes the salad out of the fridge.

'That would be cheating if I told you, wouldn't it?' Steve questions, setting the cutlery on the napkins he's just neatly folded.

'I see you're finally learning to be sneaky,' Tony comments, looking around. Ah yes, something to drink. Milkshakes later. 'Just one thing?'

'You have big dreams,' Steve says in a hushed voice, smiling slightly. 'Also, you don't live alone. I'm glad you didn't bend the truth about that. I wish I could meet them.'

'Well,' Tony pauses, considering introducing Steve to Happy for about half a second, but no. No. Steve would remember Happy's face and connect it somehow. It'd end in a great mess and Tony doesn't feel like taking the risk. 'Maybe some other time. He's out of the house a lot, busy with his own things.'

'Sure, I don't want to impose –'

They are about to sit down and Tony puts his hand on Steve's to catch his attention, and then takes it back quickly.

'You're not. Imposing. It's just kind of complicated.'

'I think I'm living complicated, you know,' Steve says with a soft sigh. 'Being so-called superhero, in the future. Part of a very nice but messy team, living in a house with potential Hulk, then the thing… between us…'

'Sorry,' Tony signs, knowing that Steve will recognize the word.

'No, don't be. Please don't. I didn't mean it like that – I meant it's just complicated. It's not an accusation or anything. And I don't mind it's that way, I'd rather be your friend right now than lose you.'

Tony sighs, closing his eyes for a moment and ignoring his strangely racing heart. It doesn't matter, right? It doesn't. It's just words.

'Let's just eat now,' JARVIS translates Tony's signs and Steve nods and sits down, looking between his hands and somewhere behind Tony's head, eyes unfocused. 'We should forget all the complicated things. Let's just eat and then I'll show you some things.'

'All right,' Steve agrees and places a portion of the salad on his plate before giving the big spoon to Tony.

'Have you been sightseeing anywhere recently?' Tony asks before he grabs his fork and digs in, knowing that it'll be easier for Steve to answer the question between bites than to keep a proper conversation. 'You were planning to go to Staten Island the last time, right?'

Steve smiles with and nods, launching into a tale; Tony listens eagerly. When they are done with food and New York tales – they admittedly fascinate Tony and it's not just pretending to be a Nate who is English, there are things that he genuinely didn't get to do yet and it's nice to hear Steve so happy about the little pleasures – Tony takes Steve to the workshop.

When they step inside, the room looks like a dark forest and Tony can't help but chuckle fondly. It even smells like forest: resin and moist soil.

'Spider Man did tell me that you had these amazing holograms, but it was more about playing a computer game house than… this,' Steve comments, mesmerized, still standing in the doorway, as if stepping inside would make the illusion go away. 'You prepared this?'

'I asked my A.I. to surprise us,' Tony says the half-truth and gestures at Steve to go in after him, but Steve is standing frozen in place, staring at the green and blue and black lines with wide eyes.

Okay, so maybe JARVIS surpassed himself this time. Tony usually ends up with a mini-planetarium above his head and that's all he needs, so the forest is new to him, too.

'Let's go for a walk,' he signs and walks up to Steve, takes his hand and leads him inside.

Steve hand is so, so warm.

They walk between the half-transparent trees for a few minutes, observing them closely and listening to the soft noises coming seemingly from nowhere, birds' songs and rustle of leaves under their feet and howling wind. The workshop isn't a very vast place but JARVIS changes the illusion constantly, leading them as if through a labyrinth and Tony loves it. Steve seems to think the same.

'Do you do this often?' he asks finally, when the illusion clears into grassland with a panorama of New York from far away projected onto the windows instead of the actual view from inside the city.

There is a moment of hesitation when Tony notices that he's been holding Steve's hand all this time and he has to let go if he wants to answer, but he doesn't want to. All right.

'Not like this,' Tony signs, ignoring the cold air wrapping around the suddenly exposed skin of his hands. 'J, the usual,' he signs and smiles slightly, ignoring Steve's questioning look. The forest disappears, revealing the normal chrome and grey look of the 'shop, as clean as Dummy and Butterfingers and You could make it, but a moment later it's bathed in darkness again.

The ceiling and the walls are suddenly a cupola covered with bright stars, more colorful and pronounced than in real, showing the configuration of yesterday's night sky. Without city lights to overshadow the view, there is the Milky Way and the Moon's glow just above the horizon, as well as some additional stars and galaxies that are there, beautiful and majestic but invisible to a human eye.

'This is what sir usually uses the holograms for,' JARVIS offers. Steve looks up, as if he was looking for the A.I.'s camera, the way he's used to do at the HQ.

'I don't – you could do everything with this,' Steve declares, turning to Tony, his eyes burning with fascination, and Tony blinks at those words. 'You could create everything you wanted with those holograms, if you had to – like someplace the way it used to be, right? If you can make it like this,' he adds, waving at the sky above them, and Tony blinks again and then swallows hard and stumbles back, leaning against the nearest desk, because he's just realized a thing he's never thought about and it hurts damn much.

It's crazy but – possible. Breathtaking.

'Nate?' Steve asks worriedly, standing closer to Tony, so close that Tony can feel his body heat, it's a nice thing to concentrate when he tries to blink away tears. 'Are you okay?'

Tony nods for yes but it's unsure and Steve keeps frowning.

It's just that Tony never thought, never really thought about later, about the moment that will almost certainly come at some point when he will be in bad enough state to be confined to his bed and JARVIS – and this will be all he'll have. The whole world, everything he can ask for, in a small space around him.

It feels terrible but at the same time oddly liberating.

'I'm fine,' he signs, taking a deep breath. 'Sometimes I forget how beautiful this is,' he adds, JARVIS keeping Nate's voice hushed. Apparently that's a reply that Steve believes, with his artist's soul, because he smiles weakly and nods and doesn't ask any more questions.

'I know Doctor Foster is an astrophysicist and not you, but do you know the stars? If you do this stargazing thing quite often?'

'Yes,' Tony signs, and adds, 'But JARVIS will help.'

Then makes a time-out gesture and almost runs out of the room, leaving confused Steve inside. He comes back a minute later, holding rolled blankets under his arms and two pillows in his hands, and makes a questioning face.

'That's clever,' Steve laughs and takes on of the blanket, putting it on the floor and lying down. Tony follows his suit, he takes off his glasses before resting his head on the pillow and as soon as Steve says he's comfortable, he shows Steve how it's done: you have to point at the celestial body you're interested in and JARVIS lets you take it with your hand and then answers the questions.

Steve seems to love it, starting with the stars he recognizes, nudging Tony to play, too, and Tony chooses the stars and galaxies that he knows are most interesting, and then pretends not to stare at the lights reflecting in Steve's bright eyes.

'Hey,' he hears somewhere over his head, a hushed and slightly amused voice. 'Nate, wake up. I've got to go and I don't want to leave you like that.'

Tony opens his eyes, blinking slowly, but the room is blissfully dim so he doesn't have to squint – there's Steve hovering over him.

Oh.

He has to stop himself from asking what's happened and saying he's sorry because well, he isn't supposed to talk, so he just smiles a bit lopsidedly and Steve removes himself from his field of vision. Tony sits up, slowly, finds the glasses he left on the floor without looking and puts them on.

Steve is seated cross-legged on the other blanker, smiling fondly at Tony blinking away the sleepiness.

'You dozed off,' he says as if it was the most endearing thing in the world. 'I didn't want to wake you up. JARVIS said you were tired, so. Whatever he says, I trust him. We talked a bit and he gave me a tour of the workshop, but I'm afraid now it's time for me to go.'

Tony frowns, trying to remember falling asleep, but the last thing he can recall is JARVIS talking about Curiosity as Steve seemed rather fascinated with the robot's story.

'Sorry, he signs and gives JARVIS a somehow threatening look. 'You should have woken me up, I'm sorry, I guess I was more tired than I thought,' JARVIS translates. Steve shakes his head, his eyes still sparkling.

'No, no, it's fine. I guess it means you trust me,' he adds, raising an eyebrow, and Tony nods reluctantly. It probably does. Subconsciously.

'If you say so,' Tony agrees, standing up. Steve rolls his blanket perfectly and takes Tony's out of his hands, letting him keep the pillows. Tony snickers at that but doesn't say anything, just lets Steve do it if that makes him happy.

'I know you said you won't be around much this month, but give me a call when you're, I don't know, available? Ugh, that sounds bad,' Steve laughs tightly, making his way across the room to get his jacket.

'I'll give you a call,' Tony assures him and opens the door for Steve. 'It was fun.'

'It was swell,' Steve says and they both chuckle. His vocabulary is much broader and modern now but this has become sort of an inside joke. 'Thank you. Goodbye,' he sings and steps out of the flat and waves at Tony before disappearing in the dark staircase.

Tony stays for a few more moments, leaning against the doorframe and listening to the echo of Cap's footsteps and then it ceases, he closes the door with a sigh and looks at the clock: it's almost five. High time to get ready for tomorrow.

'What should I call you for the duration of this closed door meeting?' Levy asks when Tony enters her office the next morning. 'I know you made sure no one is listening. I made sure no one will bother us, in case you were wondering. So you can speak freely.'

'Call me my name, then,' Tony decides, crossing his legs, and looks at Levy expectantly.

'All right, Tony,' she smiles, pulling out what has to be his file from the desk's top drawer. 'We'll be preforming a few scans and procedures to see how everything is going, if we need to adjust anything in your treatment or your meds. I'll tell you what exactly will be going on in the next few days and then I'll take you upstairs to your room and then you'll meet the intern that'll get all your labs done so that I'll know what we're dealing with when we meet tomorrow.'

'All right,' Tony agrees but still looks at her expectantly. He knew all of that already and he knows very well that it's not what the meeting is about.

'I need to make sure you know what we'll be discussing when we have your tests' results, Tony,' she says after a moment of silence and Tony locks his eyes on her. 'You know you don't have much time. I won't lie to you because you're too smart and frankly, I hate lying to my patients. I think you'd rather know everything, whatever it might be.'

'Of course –'

'I want you to think about one thing before tomorrow, okay? I won't be asking right now about how you feel but I need you to think about that. I know you're not the one to whine and cry but I need you to think about everything and be honest with yourself and therefore be honest with me. We'll give you update on treatment options when we know more, but you have to think if you want to continue treatment.'

'You mean –'

'Just give it a thought because from your face I can tell you haven't, not really, but it is an option, too. Stopping the treatment. It depends on you, because I cannot force you to do anything or talk you into making a decision, but I need you to consider it.'

'So I should think about whether I want to stop radiation?'

'Not now, not yet. Not necessarily. I just need to make sure you realize it's an option.'

'But –'

'I think you'll know that it's time to make that decision when it comes,' Levy says, not letting Tony say anything more. That's probably for the best because she's replying to the questions he doesn't get ask anyway.

There is a moment of silence that feels like it's stretching endlessly even though Tony knows it's just a few seconds. Levy is looking at his file and Tony is looking at her, his mind blank.

'So you're telling me all this because?'

'I want you to be prepared for whatever news we might have for you. I know it's extremely difficult for you and I'm glad you have Happy and Doctor Eisen here with you, but I need to know that you are dealing with it.'

'You want me to talk to someone?'

'It's an option, you know. I know it'd be difficult for you –'

'Because no matter what, I wouldn't be able to tell them the whole truth. Is there a point in trying a therapist when I can't tell them the whole truth?'

'If they can answer a single question you have, it's worth it,' Levy says with conviction and Tony almost feels like believing her words. 'Just think about it. There is a medical specialization called psycho-oncology for a reason.'

'All right, I guess I can,' Tony agrees. Maybe he can really give it a thought.

'I'll take you upstairs now so that you can get familiar with the place and I will see you tomorrow morning.'

'Sure thing, doc,' he says, standing up and holding the door open for her, one hand already fishing out his Starkphone to type on.

For the next two days there are tests and more tests and a transfusion, leaving Tony groggy and tired and slightly achy, but that was all rather predictable. What Tony didn't expect was Levy telling him that they found the first metastatic tumor in his liver; it was likely to happen and honestly Tony has been lucky that it's been this long, but this situation being real brings everything to a different level.

'The tumor is near the inferior vena cava,' Levy tells Tony is her practiced calming voice, 'so it could be risky to remove it surgically. While I'd probably recommend a surgery to most patients, in your case…'

'The reactor complicates things?'

'Yes, it reduces your lung capacity significantly so it's more difficult to keep you all right in the OR. Not to mention the actual shrapnel in your body,' she says, looking at his apologetically, as if it was her fault that he's – like this.

'Doesn't the magnet interfere with your equipment?'

'So far, no, but you're the engineer.'

'What can you do then?' Tony asks, wrapping his arms around his chest tightly.

'I wouldn't want to put you on another chemo, that would be too strenuous and it might end up doing more bad than good – but there's tumor ablation. I think it's the best way, the tumor is small so it should be fine and the procedure is minimally invasive. Most patients don't even feel anything afterwards and can go home the next day.'

'I remember JARVIS mentioning it at some point – which kind?'

'Radiofrequency. It'd work best for you. It's a relatively simple procedure. We can do it while you're here this week. Tomorrow, even.'

'Would anyone else need to be there?'

'I can do it,' Levy assures him and Tony breathes out in relief. There is a very limited number of people who know about the reactor and he'd like to keep it that way. 'The liver is a typical place for metastasis; I've done it many times. Doctor Eisen can be there, if you want him. We'll use local anesthesia so you'll be awake.'

'All right,' Tony breathes, 'all right. Let's do it tomorrow and then I'll go home,' he adds, trying to keep his voice level but it's not exactly working.

He nods at Levy, gets up and drags himself back to his room only to see Doc waiting for him.

'You'll try the ablation, right?'

'She told you already?' Tony asks after he's closed the door behind himself and makes his way to his bed. 'Yeah. Levy said it could help more than anything else. Radiation is working as well as we could hope for. Apparently I'm lucky,' Tony states. The words sound more sad than irritated when he says them out loud.

'And you're not in pain.'

'Doc,' Tony says, sighing, and sits in front of the man on a bare hospital chair. 'Damn, I don't even know if I'm in pain anymore. I told that to Levy and I will tell that to every damn person who asks me about this: I. Don't. Know. I've got something lodged in a hole in the middle of my chest and it's here all the fucking time and I don't know if anything else around there hurts, okay? I can tell when I'm in pain. I can't tell if there's a constant ache everyone keeps asking about.'

'I know, kiddo.'

'So?'

'Well –'

'So you're just gonna stare at me?'

'I'm looking at you,' Doc says, leaning back in his chair and narrowing his eyes slightly. 'I'm trying to figure out what's going on in your head. Do you know what's going on in your head?'

'I don't have a fucking idea,' Tony admits, burying his face in his hands, wondering when that happened. It's just so, so much confusion about everything, and he was hoping that things would – clarify, the closer it gets.

'I know you don't want to talk about this, but I'm your doctor and I feel like I have to do this, all right?' Doc asks. Tony can feel the man's stare burning a hole in his head. 'All right?'

'All right,' Tony agrees weakly. 'Yeah?'

'I think it would be good for you to meet with a palliative care specialist. Wait – I know Levy mentioned it but just in passing and – hey, Tony,' Doc says, noticing that Tony's not moving. 'Are you okay?'

'I don't want to hear that,' Tony whispers, barely keeping himself from shaking. 'I know I have to. But I don't want to.'

'A specialist would help you immensely – that's what we're for, you know.'

'Yeah,' Tony breathes, trying to calm himself down a little bit.

'And if you don't want to talk to a therapist or anyone which I think is silly because I'm a doctor but I totally understand because I know you, a palliative care specialist would have the answers you'll need. Okay?'

'I don't have questions,' Tony mutters and he's pretty sure Doc can't hear him but can guess what Tony is mumbling.

'I'm here if you need to find someone or if you need to talk, you know that. I know this whole thing, these tests and results and talks are depressing and a little bit morbid, but it's a stage that you have to go through. Things that come as time passes.'

'I'm not good at waiting,' Tony chuckles because he's said that so, so many times but it's never before means what it means now.

'But you're good at not wasting time,' Doc counters, beaming at Tony. 'You're a damn champion at not wasting time.'

'Did I tell you we're working on some really fancy neuroprosthetics? We're almost done, me and JARVIS. It'll be ready for the experimental phase in a few weeks.'

Doc blinks a few times, with an unreadable look on his face, and then he bursts out laughing loudly, his voice booming in the small space.

'You know what?' he asks when he finally calms down a bit, wiping tears from his cheeks, and Tony shakes his head for no. 'You're so damn impossible.'

'That's me,' Tony says and it sounds – so right. 'That's me.'

The evening after Tony's procedure Rhodey manages to sneak into the clinic to see him for a few minutes. It's complicated, since Tony doesn't want Rhodey or Pepper to be seen with him; it's a long shot but he doesn't want to risk people asking questions since both of them are public people and if they have a new buddy, it's always interesting to the world. So Levy made sure Rhodey has a clear way to get into Tony's room and gave them some time to talk. It's all pretty funny, Tony thinks, as if someone was sneaking in and out their teenage love's house in a cheap movie.

He'd be flattered if he wasn't preoccupied with being scared.

'I know that it's illogical and it's not real but sometimes it's as if I could feel it, you know,' he tells Rhodey after they've exchanged all the how are you doing et caetera. 'When I run a hand across my abdomen when I shower or when I undress. That's – it's distressing, you know? It's awful. It makes me feel like throwing up because they can't cut it out.'

'I'm sure if they could –'

'I know, if it was possible they would have cut it out back then but it wasn't and it's been a long time and – I don't know. It's just there.'

'Tony –'

'Okay, so just ignore me,' Tony says, looking away and trying not to let his voice sound as tearful as it feels. Being mute has this one big advantage, no one gets to read your emotions from your tone. That's a pretty great advantage. 'I'm just being hysterical here –'

'And it's completely normal,' Rhodey cuts in, moving closer to Tony, until they sit arm in arm on the hospital bed. 'It's normal and it's human and it's fine, you're doing amazing, all right? You're doing better than anyone would expect of you. Give yourself some credit.'

'I should be somewhere else, inventing artificial organs or something, that would at least help with keeping me fucking alive, and thousands of people, but –'

'That tech is years away, decades away, and I'm pretty sure if anyone could get it done sometime soon it would be you, you damn brilliant bastard, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, do you get it?' Rhodey asks, making Tony look at him. Rhodey's eyes are dark and firm and Tony knows he wouldn't be able to say no. 'Don't blame yourself for not making the impossible real. It is impossible. You have to accept that. Can you do that?'

'I don't know – I can, yes, I can, but I don't want to. I want to think I could do it, I want to know I can do it, I want to make it happen. I want this to end. I want all this damn mess to go away, all right? Just that! Is it so much to ask for?' Tony almost shouts at Rhodey. That's – that's not nice. But he's not sure he cares.

Rhodey just stares at his for a moment that feels like infinity.

'Is that about today?' he finally asks, much calmer and quieter than Tony has expected.

'What about today?'

'You had a long talk with Doctor Levy.'

'We had a damn long talk, right,' Tony parrots, looking away from Rhodey's eyes and staring at his calloused hands. 'It was probably overdue, too, but I'm that guy who's afraid to face the truth, especially when someone else is involved, you know? We can do great, JARVIS and me. It's easy when it's just us. Don't – don't even start,' he says, noticing that Rhodey wants to interrupt. 'I know we've talked about this a lot. And I get what you've been telling me. And you're here, right? I let you come. Fuck, I even asked you to come and I'm glad you're here, I'm glad you're all here. It's just that it would be easier.'

'I get it,' Rhodey assures him in a whisper, wrapping his arm around Tony's shoulders, clad in a hospital gown. 'And I'm not leaving.'

'You should sneak out before the nurses Levy shoved out of the corridor come back. They shouldn't see you here. No one should see you here.'

'I will go, don't worry, we've got – JARVIS?'

'Eight minutes forty seconds, Colonel.'

'You heard,' Rhodey states, tightening his embrace. 'We have that much before I've got to run.'

'Tell me what you'll be doing tomorrow,' Tony demands, leaning into Rhodey's hug and finally relaxing, his breathing calm and easy. 'Any Hammer tech to spoil your day?'

On Saturday Tony wakes up after the first night this week he spent in his own bed, rested and feeling all right and ready to go out for a walk with Annik; the older kids are leaving for a small field trip again so there are only a few youngest staying behind. The weather is misty and moist but nice, so they end up in a park.

When he's going back home, he gets a text from Fury telling him to find a place for a meeting. Tony stops in the middle of the pavement, staring at the words with bewilderment, and then texts back the address for his big workshop and catches the next bus that will take him nearby. Fury gets there almost an hour later when Tony is doing some comforting manual work on one of his prototype robots.

'I've got the newest weapons we extracted from south-east Asia a few days ago,' Fury states without as much as a greeting, but that's rather expected. 'I got them here for you even though they should stay at the local branch, according to protocol, so you better give me some answers, weapons specialist.'

'All right,' Tony says, putting away the tools and wiping his hands on the t-shirt while Fury places a case on the nearest desk. 'What are they?'

'Just guns. Very efficient and very unusual guns. The design is slightly different from what we've collected before but there are some traits in common and we know for sure the men who used them were connected to the previous few dealers we incapacitated.'

'Show me,' Tony orders, walking up closer to the desk and Fury opens the gray case that's been sitting on his desk.

'Looks normal, doesn't it?' Fury wonders aloud observing as Tony takes the gun out, weighs it in his hands and looks for a serial number or a name of the weapon or anything.

'No letters, no numbers, no symbols… Doesn't exactly help with finding out who made them.'

Tony nods, looking closely at the device in his hands, a cold feeling crawling across his body just under his skin because he's almost sure he knows. He dismantles the gun with swift practiced movement – it's surprisingly easy, thanks to muscle memory – and places the gun parts on the top of the case, the black standing out on the light gray background, and then he shoves the case with the gun off the desk, putting as much strength as he can into the movement. The case falls and slides across the dark floor, stopping on the opposite wall, gun parts scattered on the floor.

'Stark?'

'It's Howard's,' Tony spits out, feeling very much like breaking something else, like hitting something or punching someone in the face with all his strength. 'It's his design from early 70s that never went into commercial production. I've seen the blueprints. There weren't any made, besides a model Howard created personally, so this – this shouldn't fucking exist.'

He can hear JARVIS tell him to calm down and breathe even though the A.I. is silent, but if he was to speak up, he'd definitely say breathe, sir, in this incredible calm voice, and he'd say we will make this right.

They will.

'Give me everything – and I mean everything – you have on this case and I'll take care of it. I take care of the weapons, you may have the men but I want into interrogations and I want all transcripts.'

'Are you sure this is a good idea?'

'Are you kidding me?' Tony asks, raising eyebrows questioningly. 'Really, are you? I don't trust anyone with this. I need to make it right or I'll find a way to strangle Stane to death, bring my father back from the dead and strangle him, too.'

'Why are you feeling so emotional about this? It's just weapons.'

'I thought I made myself clear some time ago,' Tony scoffs, wondering if anyone but him and JARVIS could ever really understand that decision. 'No more weapons. And I'm not going to sleep until I'm sure there are no more weapons signed with my name. And don't – don't tell me it's different. That's what Iron Man does, that's what I do. I take care of that stuff. That's the least I can do.'

'Well,' Fury says, staring right at Tony with his piercing glare, and then sighs. 'You got it.'

'I want the data tonight, then. Goodbye,' Tony says, gesturing at the door, and Fury leaves, taking big steps, after just half a second of hesitation. Tony doesn't feel like he can focus on work anymore today so he picks up the gun pieces from the floor, throws them into the case, leaving it on the desk. Then he puts on the suit and flies back home.

'JARVIS?' Tony asks as soon as he gets into the flat.

'Yes, sir?'

'I don't care what you have to do – use all available resources. Focus on nothing but the search: we have the names. Make sure you follow those people. Hack everything you've got to hack, you have my blessing, but I need this situation resolved. I need to know where they produce the weapons and I need to know who does that and I need to ask them a few questions about Stane.'

'I will do my best. You are aware that I might not find anything, though.'

'Are you trying to secure your ass in case you don't because if yes, that's completely unnecessary. You can do it. If I didn't think so, I'd do it myself, well, if I could keep myself from throwing up for long enough to focus on hacking. Or something.'

'I am sure you would do great no matter the circumstances, sir, but you definitely should rest unless you want to face Miss Potts' wrath.'

'I better rest,' Tony agrees, nestling his head between the two soft pillows. 'Just do it and I'll let you fly there and blow stuff up.'

'That is an extremely tempting offer,' JARVIS declares smugly and then goes silent, busy with his new top priority task.

A/N: Thank you for your lovely comments! I was so so happy to read your thoughts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and how things are shaping up a little bit. Let me know what you think :)

One more chapter of Footpaths to go, including questions, answers and confessions.

Beta by Kae & dridri93, thank you!