Disclaimer: So I'm still using a bit of dialogue from the show. And the characters. And the town. And yada yada.
Wow you guys. I'm truly overwhelmed by the support this story gained from the first chapter alone. I usually figure if a story has ten-plus reviews per chapter it's a good story, so to get fifteen is incredible. I really and truly wished to get a second chapter out to all of you sooner, but like I said, hell. Add to that my critical, minimal social life with friends finishing their tests and papers sooner than me, a trip to the casino (don't ask), and The Hobbit premiere I've had limited time to squeeze in the true meaning of life – FanFiction - this week. It's just been torture. But we made it! And now, without further ado, I present to you, Chapter Two!
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The rainbow over Storybrooke encased the town like a dome. The former fairytale characters began frantically searching for their closest same-sex friends like dogs in heat.
Speaking of, the sound of chains being yanked right out of the walls in the basement of the town library with the full force of a werewolf's strength could be heard all along Main Street. Who even knows how many moons she spent trapped down there. But the power of the full moon was nothing compared to that of the Spell of Shattered Sexuality. When she finally burst forth onto the street, she wasted no time putting her impeccable nose to use in finding her One True Homosexual Love. It pointed her in the direction of Mr. Gold's pawn shop.
Meanwhile, across the one street in town at Granny's Inn, a young princess and mother carefully placed her baby in the crib (she figured if it was okay to send a newborn through a portal alone to a strange new world than this should be perfectly fine) before rushing out the doors and to the edge of the forest. Rumor had it that her warrior had been wandering around, lost for weeks, and it was high time someone went looking for her.
The dwarves were piling on top of each other right in the middle of the street – except Happy. No one wanted Happy.
And a fairy dressed in blue, having narrowly escaped being captured in a powerful hat, was hiding out in the church when the doors burst open with a flash of green. "You!" a dangerous voice called out, sending a shiver down her spine. "We have things that need to be… resolved."
SSS
"Prince Charming." Snow shuddered at the thought. "Finally I'm seeing things clearly."
Emma had taken refuge in the sheriff's office. For the moment her parents were bickering about who had suffered more in their unnatural heterosexual relationship, but it was only a matter of time before they revealed who their secret desires were, and that was something Emma could go the rest of her lifetime without knowing. She already had her suspicions about her mother.
Thankfully, because Anna had already undergone the Spell of Shattered Sight, she too was immune to the effects of this curse. Her fiancé had not been so lucky.
"Y'know, if this is what marriage is like, I'm glad we can't get married."
"What are you talking about Kristoff? Of course we can get married!" Anna explained, clearly forgetting that he was under the influence of a spell.
Kristoff yanked on the handcuffs. "Not you and me, me and Hans!"
"Hans?!" Anna shrieked in horror.
Elsa snickered. "I can't say I'm not a tad relieved. I feared it would be Sven."
Anna glared at her sister, which almost made Elsa laugh harder. "Not helping!"
"He's so handsome," Kristoff continued dreamily. "Have you seen those sideburns? They're so… so rugged."
Anna's face twisted in disgust. Turning to her sister, she muttered, "Actually, I was going to have him get rid of those after we were married." Kristoff gasped in offense.
"Okay, I know this isn't really you. I know it, but it's still upsetting so I'm just, I'm gonna be in the other room, and you just stay here handcuffed where you can't do anything stupid." She turned and followed after her sister, Kristoff tugging ever harder on those blasted cuffs.
Snow and Charming meanwhile were shaking and kicking and body slamming the bars of their cell doors, desperate to get to their other gay halves.
"My parents, that's not who they are," Emma explained, more to convince herself than Elsa.
"They're their gayest selves," Elsa reminded, hoping to comfort Emma in some small way.
"This is horrible," Anna bemoaned, falling into her sister's waiting arms.
"It's okay," Elsa soothed. "You're immune. We all are. And we're together."
"It's gonna be alright," Emma offered halfheartedly. "Remember, I'm The Savior."
"Is that like a real job here?"
"Apparently it is," Emma replied sheepishly. "I promised all these people I'd give them their happy endings, and I will. I'm just not sure how at this moment."
"Well the way I see it, we have two options." Emma and Elsa turned to Anna expectantly. "Well, in the legend that inspired the Spell of Shattered Sight they – Oh."
"What is it? What was done?"
"Um, uh, to break the spell they had to kill the king. So in this case that would mean Ingrid."
"What's the second option?" Elsa asked, desperate for a solution that didn't involve killing anyone.
"Uh, well, we could let the spell run its course." Two sets of blonde eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Think about it. The Spell of Shattered Sight ends when everyone's dead, right? So wouldn't this spell end when everyone is, erm, satisfied?"
Kill someone or let the citizens of Storybrooke explore their sexuality? "Option one it is."
SSS
Regina was trying every spell in her arsenal to undo the one she had mistakenly put around her vault. Why the hell did she think it was a good idea to trap herself in there? She pounded on the door in frustration. "Sealed in my own vault!"
She turned around, breathing heavily. The unfamiliar level of desire that coursed through her body was threatening to overwhelm her at any moment. A hard kick to the door and a quick yell did nothing to quell her raging hormones.
"This is – This is – This is the savior's doing." Her eyes blazed and her lips pursed. She rushed down the stairs. "I should've realized this years ago." Looking up at the ceiling, she screamed to no one in particular, "This is what I get for being subtle!"
Turning around, she noticed the mirror and, more importantly, her lackluster pantsuit; it wasn't even one of her good ones. She wondered aloud, "What the hell am I wearing?" With a quick flourish of her hands and a puff of purple smoke Regina stood clad in her sexiest Evil Queen attire – all black, with the deepest neckline and leather pants, high heeled boots and an elegant up-do.
She smirked devilishly at her reflection. "I've missed you."
SSS
After sticking Anna with the baby and running real fast through the station with her fingers in her ears yelling "lalala" at the top of her lungs, Emma led Elsa down the one street in town to the ice cream shop previously owned by Ingrid. As luck would have it, Ingrid was inside the store for the first time since revealing herself to have ice powers. Emma and Elsa waited patiently for her on the street, trying to ignore the sexual shenanigans happening all around them.
Finally, the Snow Queen exited the building.
"Stop," Emma demanded in her most savior voice, holding her hand out for emphasis.
"This must end, Ingrid." Elsa held both hands out cautiously.
"Your magic is a part of us now. We control it, and we control it really well."
"I'm so proud of you both. You've finally embraced who you truly are."
Emma and Elsa shared a look, both wondering the same thing; if sisterhood was truly the only thing Ingrid wanted from them.
The only basis Emma had for sister relationships were what she'd seen in movies and TV, Elsa and Anna (who seemed unusually close by comparison), and Regina and Zelena (who were unusually murder-y by comparison). But certainly Ingrid's idea of sisterhood was not healthy, the looks she gave them far too intense. It would explain her choice of curse.
At the same time Emma and Elsa thrust their hands forward in an attempt at magic, but nothing happened. "Emma?"
"Again." But still, nothing.
The ribbons gave off a bright yellow glow. "The love that flows through our ribbons is without equal. Its strength protects the life force that we all now share." Both pulled with all their might at the knots in the ribbons, but they wouldn't budge.
"She's made it impossible for us to hurt her."
"We've gotta get these things off."
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"Gold?" Emma called out upon entering the pawn shop. The place was tossed. Glass cases were broken and trinkets were scattered about the floor. "Belle? You in here?" The door closed behind Elsa with a little jingle. "They're gone," Emma turned to tell her. Noticing something amongst a ruined shelf, she leaned over to grasp a lone strand of synthetic red hair. She dropped it back into its place, blushing profusely. She suddenly had a very clear idea of what went on here.
"Then what do we do?"
Emma shook her head to clear it of the disturbing, and not at all distracting, images of two of her friends having sex all over the store.
Pausing to think, Emma concluded, "We do it ourselves," then winced at the way that sounded out loud. Thankfully Elsa hadn't been taught the art of dirty mindedness and didn't catch on to the double meaning of Emma's words.
She moved behind one of the counters and picked up a dagger that looked promising, slipping it under the ribbon.
SSS
A half an hour and every potion and sharp thing in the store later had Emma finally admitting defeat. "I give up." She pulled the piece of some large creature's tooth out from under the ribbon. "It's useless. The magic protecting this ribbon is just too powerful."
"I guess the Snow Queen meant what she said about… her love."
"I'm sorry, I was too busy thinking of ways to punch her to retain that."
Elsa sighed. Sometimes Emma could be so Emma. Reaching over to grab the other woman's hand platonically, Elsa explained, "She said the love flowing through our ribbons was without equal." She stared at Emma, waiting for it to click. Emma stared back, blankly. Rolling her eyes, Elsa continued. "It may be without equal, but not without a counterpart that's equally strong."
Emma blinked at her. "What?"
"If her amplified love put these ribbons on our wrist, then maybe what we need is someone's equally amplified lust to get them off."
"Elsa, you're incredibly gorgeous, but I just don't feel – "
"What? No, not me. Regina. Wait, you think I'm gorgeous?"
"Regina, of course! She probably has something in her vault, like bottled essence of lust, or something! Elsa you're a genius!" Emma took off out of the shop, leaving a bewildered Elsa still standing at the counter.
"And you're hopeless," she whispered, following after her friend.
SSS
Regina glanced up from the tome she had been studying in search of a way out of her containment spell when she sensed someone approaching. Technically there were two someones, but her entire world had narrowed to focus solely on one woman.
SSS
"Okay, stand back," Emma warned as they approached the Mills' Mausoleum. She chucked a rock in the direction of the door, where it collided with a wall of magic. "Containment spell." She'd read about these. "Okay. Here goes."
She held up her hands, she made the face, she did everything she was supposed to, but still Emma couldn't make her magic work.
Placing her hand on her friend's shoulder, Elsa tried to reassure her, "You can do it."
Emma bounced in place a few times and shook out her hands, presumably to loosen her magic muscles, before trying again. "Okay," she breathed, making the face and holding up her hands once more.
Just then, a thought occurred to Elsa. "Hang on."
But it was too late. The containment spell flashed purple before disappearing. Emma turned to Elsa. "What is it?"
She gulped, keeping her eyes on the door. "Well, I was just thinking, if our ribbons come off, won't we be affected by the curse as well?"
Emma opened her mouth to disagree, then paused. "Oh, well, I'll just put the spell back up."
It wasn't that easy.
"I'm still getting the hang of the 'controlling the magic' thing. But lucky for us, we can just go in and detain her with your ice magic."
SSS
Regina was sitting in her reading spot, her books magicked back into place on the shelf, when Emma and Elsa came tumbling down the stairs. She turned to face them with a positively predatory smile sliding across her lips.
Emma took in a good eyeful of her former nemesis. "Whoa." Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "… It's a little late for Halloween," she added lamely.
"You." Regina rose to her feet.
"How do you walk in that thing?" Emma wondered like any good tomboy.
"With the poise and composure of a queen," Regina explained in her most seductive voice, hand resting temptingly on her hip. "Perfect timing Miss Swan." She was practically purring. "I was just reading up on the latest Bering and Wells fanfiction. It's a compelling story, don't you think? A strong, independent woman solving supernatural problems and a formerly misunderstood villain? How incredibly riveting, wouldn't you say?"
As she spoke Regina moved closer to Emma, until she was pressed right up against the other woman's shoulder, her finger twirling a lock of golden blonde hair.
"R-Regina, w-what are you doing? You- You want my mother."
"No Miss Swan." She leaned in to whisper in The Savior's ear, "I want you."
Emma's mouth, which had fallen open while Regina was talking, slowly closed, her eyelids blinking fast and many times.
Regina's eyes were reluctant to leave Emma's face, but sparkling blue movement to her left stole her attention. "What's she doing here?" Regina sneered at the unwelcome blonde.
"Uh, well we came here to have you take our ribbons off. But then we realized we still need them. So she's here to – "
"I'm here to restrain you again," Elsa explained. She was thinking a nice pair of ice shackles would do the job.
However, just as the icy blue magic left Elsa's hands, Regina blasted a fireball, melting the ice on the spot.
Emma and Elsa shared a panicked look. Regina continued to stare hungrily at the mother of her child. With a quick wave of her hands Emma sent Regina flying back into the wall. "Let's go." She and Elsa bolted up the stairs, Regina still hot on their trail.
"SWAN!"
SSS
"She's after me. I'll lead her back to the station. I'm sure there's an extra pair of cuffs lying around somewhere. You need to get to the Snow Queen's lair and try to reason with her."
SSS
Emma was nothing if not predictable. It only took Regina a few seconds to figure out where Emma would lead her, so she saved herself the trouble of running after the blonde and simply poofed herself over to the police station.
She was instantly overwhelmed with a cacophony of voices pleading for her to magically release them from their constraints, and she was only too happy to oblige. After all, she needed this place empty when Emma arrived.
SSS
Charming burst into Gold's pawn shop just in time to hear that the two-faced imp had his beloved's heart, "Here, in my bag, with me." He wasted no time knocking The Dark One unconscious with one of the heavy old books lying around. He pulled Hook's heart from the bag, carefully thrusting it back into his chest. Hook's eyes fluttered open, flashing a brilliant rainbow.
SSS
"Where did she send us?" Kristoff demanded, running frantically along the beach.
"She tried to send us back to where we came from and this was the closest spot," Anna explained, trying to keep up with him while carrying a baby in her arms. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going back to Arendelle, even if I have to swim there!"
"I don't think that's how portals work. I mean sure I've only ever been through one, but it seemed pretty one w – Ah!" She tripped over a bottle, nearly falling to the ground. Anna picked it up with her free hand, an idea forming in her head.
"I'm going back, and nothing you do will stop me." Kristoff stated, pulling off his boots.
"I'm sorry Kristoff, you'll thank me later. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Close your eyes." And then she whacked him over the head with the bottle.
Noticing a piece of parchment fall to the ground, she bent over to pick it up and read it. "Kristoff! Kristoff! Do you have any idea what this is?!" Getting no response, she looked over to the crumpled form of a man lying in the sand. "Oh right, I knocked you out." She leaned over and, with the hand not holding the baby and the letter, began to shake him. "Wake up! We have to take this to Elsa!" She kissed him on the cheek. "Iloveyouyou'reamazing! … You're unconscious." She slowly rose to her feet. "I'll be right back, stay here. I mean, I know you'll stay here but I'll be right back anyway!"
Just then a frazzled Snow White came tumbling out of the bushes and onto the beach. "I'm coming for you Ariel!" she cried, running straight for the ocean. Anna caught her around the waist. "Let me go! I have to swim to Ariel!"
"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. I don't know who this Ariel woman is, but that does not sound like a good idea." Realizing there was nothing else around to hit Snow over the head with, Anna grabbed the cuffs that came over with Kristoff when Regina poofed them away. Attaching them to Snow's wrists, she decided "You're coming with me," before dragging the struggling queen behind her in search of her aunt's ice palace. All the while the baby continued to sleep peacefully cradled in Anna's arm.
And on the docks just a few hundred feet down the beach, two men could be seen running hand-in-hook towards a giant pirate ship.
SSS
Emma crashed into the police station, immediately turning around to lock and magically seal the door shut behind her.
"Miss Swan."
She gasped and turned around to find Regina, still in her seductive Evil Cleav- Queen garb, seated with crossed legs on her desk, that same damnable smirk in place on her dark red lips.
"I've been expecting you."
Emma gulped audibly.
SSS
So in case I was too subtle (I have an unfortunate tendency to do that) Tink is topping Blue, Ruby has resurfaced, and Aurora has finally noticed that Mulan is missing.
And now we've reached the part of the show where I shamelessly promote my various forms of social media (remove the spaces in the links). So, if you're interested in clever fan vids, here is my YouTube page:
www .youtube channel /UCCbTg86HNdhRF_RIXT9kr4w
If your flavor is semi-witty tweets to match our mediocre television lives, here is my twitter page:
twitter iFlipForRizzles
I'm also on tumblr, barely, but I post a thing or two, so:
www .tumblr blog /iflipforrizzles
Thanks for the love you guys!
~ Jen