Again come the morning (part 1)

'You are an idiot,' Doc says as soon as he has Tony in his arms, holding him tightly and leading to the sofa so that Tony can sit down.

He didn't mind lying on the floor as much as he probably should have.

'Rhodey will be here in ten minutes – and no, you don't get to say anything. I've heard enough already. JARVIS?' Doc asks at the ceiling, 'this idiot's vitals?'

'Stable, Doctor,' JARVIS assures the man in his flat voice and Tony breathes out in relief, just a tiny bit. 'It appears to only have been a bit worse of a dizzy spell.'

'You're not supposed to damn faint and now I have to wonder why on earth you never told me you weren't feeling good, I mean, this way –'

'It's the first time –'

'All right,' Doc sighs before Tony can say anything more and honestly he isn't sure he knows what to he'd say because his brain seems still too occupied with the hurt look Steve has on his face when he was listening to the words Tony imposed on him – and the disappointment when he was leaving.

It takes Rhodey seven minutes to get there and the first thing he does is ask JARVIS if his sensors pick up anything that might be wrong; the A.I. assures him that's not the case. Rhodey blinks, breathes out and realizes he's still wearing his coat so he takes it off, sits next to Tony on the sofa and gives him the look.

'What?' Tony asks, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

'Are you okay?'

'Might have a bump on my head but nothing hurts, I'm fine –'

'That's good because I get to be mad at you,' Rhodey cuts in, his look hardening. 'You are an idiot.'

Tony closes his eyes for a moment, wondering why the hell does everyone feel up to saying this suddenly, when he's obviously not in the mood. When he's just done the wrong thing and he isn't sure there is anything he regrets doing more than this in his life.

'And I damn well understand that this is fucked up and difficult for you and I need to tell you why I am mad at you okay?' Rhodey continues, ignoring Tony's lack of response. For a brief moment Tony wonders there Doc has gone but then he figures he's probably down on the street to get a cooling pack for the bump on Tony's head. 'You listening to me?'

Tony takes a moment to nod stiffly but doesn't flinch when Rhodey wraps his arm around his back.

'I know I told you to do what you feel is the right thing to do and all that and I'm definitely glad you have this one thing off your head – because the situation will clear up – but that's not how you were supposed to do this and that's the problem with you. You feel somehow pressured to do things, you've always been like this, and no one ever sees that 'cause you're too good of an actor but I know you too well, you were supposed to make a decision and not act upon a feeling of obligation, okay? That's what I wanted you to do. Make a decision, the right decision, but not a dizzy-headed delusional decision – because I can see it in your damn eyes that you're regretting it.'

'Rhodey –'

'You are.'

'I am,' Tony admits because there is no lying to Rhodey, not at all.

'I wanted you to feel better, not more miserable, I care about you more than I probably should, you lucky bastard,' he says with a small smile and Tony can't help but return it tiredly, as it if were a great effort to move. It kind of is; he feels as it if he could just stay in the same place forever without moving because it's so comforting.

'But –'

'I've got a cooling pack,' Doc's voice floats across the room as soon as he opens the door.

'Thanks,' Rhodey calls back and then turns his head back to Tony and adds, 'you have a team meeting in three days.'

'Yes.'

'You're not going.'

'I – I have no idea,' Tony admits truthfully. He'd like to go, despite everything, especially now that he knows Rhodey and everyone else will be overprotective, but on the other hand he'd have to confront Steve. Or run really quickly.

'Agent Coulson mentioned there will be some important information the team has to talk about,' JARVIS reminds him softly and just a moment later Doc's hands press the cooling pack to the side of Tony's head that pulsates warmly. 'It might be beneficial if you attended the meeting but if you have any doubts, sir, I can do that for you.'

'Oh baby,' Tony breathes, pressing the cool pack to his head, leaning into it and into Rhodey's side. 'Yeah, well, I'll think about it.'

'I can pass everything you need to know to you –'

'I know, J. I'll just – I think I should rest now. Or you'll make me.'

'I'm making you,' Rhodey declares, unwrapping his arm from around Tony and taking off his sweater. 'And I'm not leaving you alone so prepare for the return of the best memories from college, I'm going to sleep in your bed.'

'You don't have to –'

'It's a really comfy bed,' Rhodey says offhandedly, kicking off his shoes and letting them stay in the middle of the room. Tony smiles in agreement and drags himself up from the sofa, one hand still securing the bruise-relief, and lets Rhodey lead him to the bedroom.

When Tony is eating breakfast before leaving for the Avengers meeting, Happy comes up from his jog with a bunch of newspapers in his hands and drops them on the dining table before disappearing to take a quick shower.

'You know, boss, there's one good thing going on you should be happy with,' he says as soon as he gets out of the bathroom, still dripping water on the wooden floor; Tony just rolls his eyes at that.

'Yeah?'

'Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, but at least everyone stopped saying that Stark is hiding somewhere and making millions on weapons he's making for the baddies – you know, since Iron Man did his super-op and sorted the stuff out a bit.'

'Mhm,' Tony murmurs, mouth full of his fancy sandwich. 'Well, since I'm not the one obsessed with whatever they write about me no, I haven't really notices, but now that you mention it, I guess that's good.'

'You guess,' Happy snickers, shaking his head in disbelief. 'Sure. As if you didn't care – but well, that's not really important now. You've got like eight minutes before you'll be late for your meeting, so eat up,' he adds and disappears back into the bathroom.

Tony glances at the wall-slash-screen and notices that Happy is very right about that.

'You can get there in four minutes, sir, I did not want to rush you unnecessarily. You looked so peaceful –'

'JARVIS –'

'And you were eating without my prompting.'

'JARVIS,' Tony sighs, stuffing the last piece of the sandwich into his mouth and wiping fingers on the napkin. 'I assure Mark VII is ready?'

'Of course,' the A.I. replies, sounding slightly hurt.

'Well, baby, let's do this,' Tony mutters more to himself than to JARVIS and makes his way to the workshop; the armor is waiting for him in the middle of the room, everything orchestrated perfectly.

'Are you sure you do want to attend this meeting?' JARVIS asks halfway to the HQ and Tony hears the unspoken we can still go back or somewhere else.

'I'm a responsible adult and I'm supposed to act like one, so I guess I am attending this meeting – especially that Phil said there's some important things to be discussed, whatever, I might as well get out of that flat and see something else in the world.'

'You've seen plenty,' JARVIS reminds him softly and Tony laughs.

'I've seen it all,' he counters – because he has, right? He's seen and done almost everything a man can dream of and yet it doesn't really matter.

They are at the HQ just a moment later and Tony lands on the roof, as usually, and makes his way to the meeting room as soon as possible and the first thing he notices when he goes in is that Steve is not there.

What the hell does that even mean?

Tony takes a deep breath and tries to stop himself from overthinking this before he ever starts but he can't stop himself from wondering why he hasn't asked Ijon how Steve is doing – that's pretty mean and inconsiderate given that he's just ruined every ounce of the relationship they've been building for months. Almost a year.

For a moment he's wondering why Natasha isn't glaring at him but then he remembers that apparently she doesn't know. Which is definitely good but maybe if she did, he'd read something from her face.

'We got a message from Doctor Foster,' Phil starts and all heads turn towards him in a movie-like motion that almost makes Tony snicker – good that no one can see that.

So maybe he's a tad nervous, he admits to himself.

'She's picking up unusual activities in a deserted space in the middle of Arizona – just please don't ask me why it's the US again, I'd be quite happy that our response time is much better here – and from what she explained to me, the problem is that it's not the same kind of energy that was involved when Thor came. It's almost as if someone was trying to create a portal, in a way different that the Tesseract one as obviously Tesseract is not in human possession. But it's dangerously close and we're learning about that just now which means it's nothing sanctioned byanyone.'

'Do we need to infiltrate?'

'Certainly not you,' Phil answers Natasha and then looks around, adding, 'not any of you. You're too well known now for covert ops.'

'But you don't have anyone –'

'We do have people good enough, Natasha –'

'Not as good as –'

'This is not up to discussion,' Phil cuts in, silencing her with a firm look. 'The area appears to be nothing more than a desert on satellite images so we'll need closer surveillance and infiltration as there's certainly something that we're not seeing yet – but we will.'

'Who is going in, then?' Clint asks, eying Phil unsurely. Tony can understand that sentiment.

'Agents Walbert and McShea.'

Natasha and Clint hum approvingly in unison and JARVIS shows Tony the agents' files half a second later and he skims the text, mildly impressed. That does feel like a good pair.

'You obviously need to know that as with something going on, we might need to be on call anytime now and there's no saying when something might happen. We'll try to approach it our way but things can be quite unpredictable, you all know that best.'

'At least Hulk would be happy to stroll around the desert since I don't let him out on most ops,' Bruce murmurs, making Tony smirk. It's good to see that Bruce is in fact starting to accept his other half, especially now that he has learned to control him more.

'Another thing is –'

'Doctor Foster will be moving in to the HQ to ensure her safety after the recent discovery,' Captain America's strong voice finishes and everyone turns around the other way only to see him, in full costume, with small figure of Doctor Foster waving at them from behind his back.

They go in and take the free sits by the table and Steve doesn't spare Tony – Iron Man – half a glance. Tony tries to tell himself it doesn't matter but, damn it, it does.

That was one thing that Tony Stark was great at and Tony-Nate isn't anymore: not getting attached. Which is not a good thing in this big situation.

'… moving later today –'

'I will take the big room in left wing, with the roof access, if that's fine with you – my equipment needs that. And Steve assured me it's okay since the room is unoccupied.'

'It is,' Bruce agrees, giving everyone a quick look.

'It'll be nice to have a not-male around –'

'Spider Man –' Natasha starts through gritted teeth but that damn kid just grind under the mask

'– And a scientist,' he finishes, nodding to his words vigorously. Doctor Foster blinks and gives him an amused smile.

'You'll help me install everything, Spider Boy,' she says, pointing a finger at him. 'Since you can walk and the walls and ceilings and the like.'

'Sure –'

'All right, sorry, you can talk about that after the meeting, we still have a few points to discuss,' Phil cuts in, not sounding apologetic at all, not that anyone would expect that of him. 'Steve and Natasha, there's a mission for you,' he starts and then continues, reciting dates and objectives and more dates and objectives and it turns our April will be a very busy month – for everyone but Tony, it seems.

'You kinda did the big thing like, last week,' Clint reminds him over the rustle of the Cheetos bag he's trying to open.

'Director Fury wants to see you as soon as possible an asked me to remind you about that,' Phil adds, looking at Iron Man in this strange way that makes Tony feel as if he knew something but all information he's been able to gather says that Phil doesn't know more than he should.

'I will,' Iron Man assures him in a flat voice; Tony mouths thanks to JARVIS and then they go back to discussing this week's training session.

Tony can't keep himself from looking at Steve all the time, glad that no one can notice that thanks to the panoramic view helmet. Steve doesn't spare him even a single glance, in fact he seems to avoid looking even in the general direction.

When the meeting ends, Steve wraps his arm around Doctor Forster and starts conversing with her with ease, a moment later Natasha joins them and they all leave the room laughing, ignoring everyone else. Tony observes them until they disappear and then walks out himself, leaving Peter standing in the middle of the room with words at his lips that Tony doesn't want to hear.

He flies fast and low over the ocean, thankful that JARVIS doesn't want to say anything, and then makes his way to the big workshop to get his arms elbow-deep in grease and focus on circuits and wires and specs; there are tests he needs to do for the arc reactor with the new element core before he can move on to building a big one – but before he can really get started, someone gets inside.

JARVIS doesn't warn Tony beforehand so it's either Happy or Rhodey or –

'C'mere,' Pepper's voice echoes through the big room and Tony obeys without a question.

She hugs him tightly, so tightly it almost hurts, he can feel her arms pressing into his ribs in a deep pressure comforting way that makes him want to melt into her.

'I hate those business trips,' she murmurs into his head.

'No you don't,' he mutters back. Her arms tighten just a tiniest bit.

'Yes I do,' she insists and he lets her because she deserves that. 'JARVIS told me you're working on something big for me,' she adds a few moments later when both their hearts calm a little.'

'Just the arc reactor I told you about million times, nothing exciting –'

'Are you going to start building it soon?'

'I hope so –'

'Can I help?' she asks and Tony frowns, opens his mouth to say something but stops.

'It's a dirty blue collar job, Pep, you don't need to,' he says finally.

'My back is stiff from sitting in the same position all the time,' she says as if explained everything. 'Besides I loved DIY back when I was a kid. And I go to gym a few times a week so I –' she stops, looking down, and Tony chuckles.

'Just say it. You probably have more damn muscles than me. It's fine.'

'Tony, I'm so sorry for –'

'Don't be,' he interrupts. 'It's not your fault, just stop that please because I've have enough of things to sulk about today and I really do need a break, okay?'

She nods, glancing at her watch and looks around.

'No, nothing is ready yet. But you can lift the coils when we get to that point. It's mainly ordering things and some wiring job to be done. But – don't you have something today?'

'I just came back from a trip. Got a day off. Your company won't fall apart –'

'It's not my company.'

'– Hopefully,' she finishes, ignoring him and Tony lets her yet again and then she takes off her dress just there, in the middle of the workshop, and he tries not to roll his eyes as he throws one of the spare t-shirts at her, so big that she looks as if she changed into another dress, and then they work.

Fury's A.I. has been ready for some time now so Tony decides to pay Director a visit the next morning; morning turns into afternoon as his body seems to need more rest than he anticipated after spending the whole day with Pepper in workshop, actually working, and ended up going to sleep well after midnight, completely exhausted. But, as he assured JARVIS, it was a good kind of exhaustion.

'I still think you and Ijon should vote or something,' Tony tells JARVIS over breakfast-lunch-whatever he's eating at noon. 'About the name.'

'I'd really like to have a name,' the young A.I. pipes up from a small computer he's working through right now, connected to the servers Tony secured for him together with Ijon's. This little thing has an attitude and Tony did that on purpose, especially now that Fury can't do anything to him because he knows the truth. Well, almost.

'Can't you just name yourself?' Tony rolls his eyes, knowing the answer, but it's still fun to bicker with two artificial intelligences over his soup and toast.

'I would like to name myself Anthony, then,' the A.I. says and Tony almost spits out the soup. Fury's going to love this creature.

'No way,' Tony protests, 'JARVIS, right? No way?'

'That would be remotely inappropriate, sir,' JARVIS agrees politely, sounding just a little smug. Tony sighs and goes back to his food, thinking about all possible names that would fit.

'Should we go for something what, modern? Victorian? Wait – what's the name of that sparkly vampire?'

'I wouldn't appreciate being named after –'

'It's Edward, sir,' JARVIS interrupts the kid A.I., this time with amusement clear in his voice and Tony groans because really? His second name? But then maybe that's more of a reason to do that.

'I protest –'

'Of course you do, you ungrateful brat, you should be proud to be called after your creator – don't say anything. Let's go for something classy. Oh – I'll just call you Hermes. That's classy, right? Classy and classical. What d'you think?'

'I rather like it,' the A.I. replies more warmly.

'All right then, H –'

'It's Hermes,' the A.I. corrects him and Tony huffs amusedly, giving the computer a look, and puts the bowl and plate into the dishwasher.

'Sure it is, H. We're going to move you to your new daddy today and you'll have someone else to argue with. Finally,' he adds, waving goodbye at the laptop and closing it before putting it into a protective sleeve and then into a backpack.

'This is, as they say, going to be fun,' JARVIS comments drily and Tony has to agree. And it is fun when he observes Fury's scowl as the A.I. introduces himself after Tony has installed him into the director's mainframe.

'Are you kidding me?' Fury half-asks, half growls and Tony's smile widens. 'This thing is the most smartass being in the universe.'

'You'll learn to love him,' Tony just says, shrugging. 'They do that to you.'

'I doubt it,' Fury comments, glancing at his main screen where the system is showing 87% completed installation. 'So, voice recog? Biosingature?'

'Brainwaves,' Tony states.

'You're gonna be the death of me,' Fury rolls his eyes, and then adds, 'Really?'

'I've been working on some things since I disappeared, you know. Yea, really, do you think that would be beyond me? Please don't forget who you are talking to. I'm good at the stuff that's not supposed to exist.'

'Brainwaves, mine and yours then?' Tony nods, they were supposed to be the only people keyed in the system. 'No wonder this thing is so fucked up.'

'It's Hermes, not thing,' the A.I. reminds drily, his voice suddenly coming from the speakers and not from the computer which means the installation is complete and now Tony only has to do the final check to make sure everything is 100% top-notch because damn, Tony Stark doesn't settle for anything less than perfect.

'You still not gonna tell me anything?' Fury asks when Tony is finishing the check, eying him with the same firm scrutiny Tony is used to. He shakes his head for no and looks back at the screen: everything seems to be fine. 'Well, do as you wish,' Fury scowls, shoving his hands into the leather pockets. 'You know where to find me.'

'You just let me know everything, of course I know where to find you.'

Fury doesn't say anything for a long moment so Tony packs his stuff in silence, ignoring the eye following his every movement, and then he's putting on his coat, Director is suddenly right behind him.

'Yeah, you're damn right I did,' he says, his voice low. 'And I trust you not to fuck this up.'

Oh do you, Tony wonders silently and nods without voicing anything, then salutes Fury stiffly and gets out of the room. A second later there is a text message from Hermes on his phone, saying this man is a menace, I like him. Tony smirks at the phone and when he looks up, there's Clint standing right in front of him.

That seems to be a thing today and Tony isn't enjoying it at all.

'Hey Nate,' Clint greets him with a little frown but his face smooth out a fraction of a second later and Tony wonders if it was just his imagination.

'Hey,'he signs, offering Clint a small smile, and then adds, 'mission briefing?'

'Yeah, the usual stuff, as if I hadn't memorized it all by now. But Sitwell wanted to go over details one more time and man, he can be mean when you don't follow his orders, so I'd rather come here than listen to his bitchy comments while I wait long hours waiting for my shot and freezing my ass off.'

'Understandable,' Tony agrees.

'You visiting Fury?'

'You know him, he always wants something,' Tony signs with a small shrug.

'Sure I know – well, you know, before I disappear in the gear room, I was wondering if you feel up to some cycling? The weather is supposed to be nice this week, spring like perfect sunshine and all, according to this weather guy that wears the colorful suits. Ijon says his predictions are kinda trustworthy, so, what do you think?'

'I'm a little busy this week, maybe a bit later?' Tony replies, keeping his face straight and nice as he lies because he hasn't been cycling for so long, not outside, and he's not sure – he's not sure how much he can do.

He'd rather not think about it.

'All right, you know when I'm out, so just let me know when you'd be up to it,' Clint says easily and hen waves at Nate, disappearing as quietly and disturbingly as he appeared. Tony takes a deep breath and makes a mental note to go out with Happy for a ride and see how that will go before he makes any promises. Tomorrow, maybe. That sounds like a plan.

He and Happy have to wait another day to make a cycling trip as Tuesday is rainy from the 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. They decide to go on one of their favorite routes back from autumn and it feels lovely, to be on the move again, feeling the speed with every bit of your body, but it's not fun for too long.

'We're taking a break. Now,' Happy orders before they even reached that small park and Tony nods obediently and stops, moving his bike to the side of the pavement and leaning against the wall. 'You all right?'

'What do you think?' Tony asks breathlessly, trying to focus on anything other than the tightness in his chest.'

'I've got you,' Happy says quietly, taking the bike from Tony's grasp and leaning it against the wall next to them. 'Just breathe?'

'I am,' Tony rolls his eyes and does focus on breathing. He's just a little bit dizzy. Nothing more. Nothing more. And he shouldn't be.

'We'll take a train back home –'

'No way,' he protests, looking at Happy sharply. 'No fucking way. I need a breath and some sugar and whatever and I'll be fine. I'm not taking a train back.'

'Maybe it would be –'

'It wouldn't.'

'All right then,' Happy agrees, his face impassive. Tony still knows exactly what he's thinking. 'We'll go a bit more slowly if that is damn fine with you.'

'It is,' Tony replies in the same tone and they share a look; Tony would smirk but it sounds like too much effort. Happy hands him a protein bar and an electrolyte drink and he accepts them thankfully.

When they do get home, which takes much too long, Tony locks himself in the shop and asks JARVIS to make the forest illusion he created for Steve some time ago, despite the A.I.'s protests, and he lays on the floor in the middle of the room, pretending to be somewhere else. It's nowhere near as good as punching things to get rid of the buzz in his body but he's too tired to move.

Hermes keeps sending Tony messages throughout the week, stating clearly that he tells everything to Director Fury as ordered and this way everyone is perfectly clear about what's going on and Tony has some fun annoying the director with his all-knowing A.I.

Pepper thinks it's hilarious, when Tony recounts her the story over Friday dinner, but she has this look is her eyes that Tony can't quite place. It's almost as if she was trying to hide something because her laughter is half a pitch off and he's known it for so long to be able to tell. He doesn't ask any questions though.

He lets Clint know that Nate's pretty busy right now and won't find time to meet up, unfortunately, and that feels hurtful but necessary. He isbusy, that part is the truth, busy with the brainwave controlling systems and robots and arc reactor – the parts are starting to arrive around the end of the week but it will take some more time to collect them all as a few of them have to be shipped overseas.

Saturday is Riverside and Tony congratulates himself for not thinking about Steve all week – Steve who is somewhere in southern States right now, meeting up with some S.H.I.E.L.D. teams, stop that now – and he makes sure Bruce is not going to be around. He's not trying to avoid people too much but Bruce is too observant for his own good and Tony's had enough unsure stares from Clint already.

The kids steal his brain for most of the day and it's a pleasant and a very welcome distraction, he stays as long as he's okay and when he starts to feel tiredness crawling up his limbs, sometime after dinner, he apologizes and makes his goodbyes to disappear onto the sunset streets a few minutes later. Before he goes, though, he promises to come over during the week to see a rehearsal of a play the kids are preparing for a contest. Something fantasy about dragons and warriors and the only thought Tony's come up about it so far is that they're lucky that they've never have the pleasure of meeting a dragon.

On Sunday, it's JARVIS who goes to the training.

There's a heated argument between him and Tony about this, as heated as it gets with the ever-polite A.I., and Tony lets JARVIS have it his way, mostly because he knows that's the right one, even if it hurts damn much.

JARVIS narrates the training for him while Tony works on one of the robots he's making mostly to keep his hands occupied. He'll just donate it – well, he'll have Pepper donate it somewhere – after. It's more of an instinct than anything else.

Everyone is back from their ops for the weekend so the training is long and intense, working out fight details and trying to synchronize the movements, nothing more than usual; the only difference is, JARVIS informs Tony, that somehow everyone seems to have some personal issues on their minds. They are all focused and perfect because they are professionals, but the A.I. picks up tiny details like this.

He doesn't stay after the training though.

'I know I am substituting you, sir, but I am not part of the team and I would not want to pretend to be you during any time of personal interaction with the other Avengers.'

Tony rolls his eyes at this – he's got a screwdriver between his teeth so it's pretty impossible to speak – and lets it go.

The armor is back a few minutes later and JARVIS puts it back where it came from, disconnecting himself, just a moment after Tony leaves the 'shop to get some food.

'I think Captain Rogers wanted to talk to you but he could not find the courage to start a conversation,' JARVIS tells Tony in this quiet considerate voice that he's developed sometime during the second week of his existence when Tony was too out of it to talk; JARVIS was the one to keep his voice level and composed and to keep stream of speech coming until Tony calmed down and dragged himself to bed. Old times.

'Fuck him,' Tony mutters, taking the leftover food from yesterday to heat up. 'Fuck it all,' he adds, a bit more decisively.

'I do not think it is the smartest way to approach things in life,' JARVIS comments drily, making Tony bow his head in agreement even though today he just can't be bothered to care.

'Well, whether it is or it isn't, that's what I'm doing today. And we need to get in touch with the med team tomorrow, right? They wanted a meeting?'

'Indeed.'

'Tell them I'll be available between 5 and 7 p.m. I need to take care of some stuff earlier.'

JARVIS does as he's asked and Tony spends the morning trying to cycle all through his usual autumn route after he's sneaked about of the flat when Happy is running.

He knows JARVIS will tell Happy where he's off to, a basic safety precaution. It doesn't matter though.

Nothing matters but him, the sun, New York streets that have become so familiar, achingly familiar, bathed in soft light.

He manages to go all the old way, there and back, with too many stops, taking too long, but he does it and when he's back, he's grinning like a madman. Happy just raises an eyebrow and shoves a plate with grilled cheese into his hands before he even manages to take off his clothes.

The teleconference is quick and up to the point, the trial for some of the medical tech Tony's been making with his team is halfway done and they get to analyze the details and staff's comments. People love it. Tony loves that even more.

He's too excited to go to sleep at night to he takes Mark VIII out for a trip over the ocean, letting JARVIS do all the job for him and simply relaxing, and he ends up sleeping and trying to ignore the dull ache in his gut in between for most of the next day.

On Wednesday there is the rehearsal at Riverside and despite the presence of the dragon, Tony enjoys it a lot, laughing soundlessly at the younger kids' acts and nodding, impressed, at the precision the decorations and costumes were made with by the older kids.

Tony arranged a lots of fruit to be ready when they finish so they make this gigantic bowl of fruit salad – one can't eat ice cream all the time, healthy snacks and all – and when he gets back home, he absolutely refuses to eat anything more, annoying Happy, and ends up hiding in the 'shop again.

'Sir,' JARVIS says sometime later, when Tony is tinkering with a code he's been working on, one hand wrapped around a mug of hot tea and the other running wildly across his customized keyboard. 'There is a call from Captain Rogers. Shall I?...'

'I –' Tony breathes but before he manages to make a decision, JARVIS speaks up again.

'He hung up, sir.'

Tony nods in acknowledgement and turns his eyes back to the screen but a moment later the incoming call signs lights up again.

'Sir?'

'Patch it through, J,' Tony decides, feeling like he'll regret this decision later but the hell with that.

'Nate?' Steve's unsure voice comes from the speaker. It sounds almost shaky. 'Na– Tony?'

Tony closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to say something but there are no words he can say so he just takes one more deep breath. And one more.

'I don't know if you are listening,' Steve says, his voice so quiet that Tony can hardly make out he words. 'But I – I know your name, now, I know more, and I just,' he stops, the line goes silent for a moment and if Tony didn't have the sign on his screen he'd think Steve's disconnected. 'I wanted to hear your voice,' he finishes. There is no plea in it, just a plain half-sad statement.

'Can't,' Tony signs to JARVIS, saving the files and leaning back in the armchair. 'Hang up.'

JARVIS does.

Tony grabs his phone a second later and texts sorry to Steve, with his own hands instead of asking JARVIS to do that – it feels a tiny bit less like cheating- and then he says, 'We're going to fly, J.'

'Of course,' JARVIS agrees, and they spend the rest of the afternoon over the ocean, both silent, JARVIS guarding him, Tony breathing in the salty scent and gazing dreamily at the cityscape of Manhattan that suddenly feels so small.

A/N: Sorry for the wait, longer piece for you this time! Thank you for reading. I hope this is what you've been waiting for and that some things get cleared up.

Please consider leaving a shortest comment, I'm not getting any presents for Christmas this year (as you know I moved abroad) and your words would be the greatest gift I can imagine right now :) If you told me one thing you've enjoyed most in this chapter/series I would be the happiest person ever for holidays! :)