Chapter XIII

Dear Diary,

July is finally here and nothing can stop me now, not even the overprotective eyes of Susan Baker, to go outside and climb the trees to read books. Yes, I do exactly that! Even right in this moment I sit on the White Lady and write in this journal of mine while feeling how the summer breeze encourages the leaves to dance.

I have some wonderful news to tell and that is that my baby sister (who will always be a baby to me no matter how old she is) is pregnant again and will have her new baby in early February 1925, isn't that exciting? I am very happy for her and Ken, he's literally jumping up and down and he thinks that it's going to be a girl again! As if he could know it better than Rilla! My sister thinks that she will have a boy and I will put more turst into what she thinks and not my brother-in-law does.

The news of the new "Ford baby" brightened up my summer holidays as I'm not very well on the inside, unfortunately. It's all because of this strange situation I am in with Carl. I know that he loves me, and I sometimes have this fear, when I talk with him, that he knows that I know, which is even more terrifying than just simply knowing that he's in love with me. I try to make as much excuses as I can not to meet up with him, not to go for our usual walks across the Rainbow Valley or our small picnics under the Tree Lovers. I simply can't stand looking in his face knowing that he, Carl Meredith, loves me.

But this whole situation hurts me incredibly, because I want to go for those walks and make those picnincs with him but I can't, my heart and mind won't let me do it. I don't want our friendship to fall apart and that's why we do meet up but just not as frequently as we used to (the very thought breaks something inside me and this wound can't heal properly, however hard I try).

Una agrees with my decision but I can always see in her eyes this small, tiny even, drop of disappointment (Una would never show whether or not she's disappointed in someone) that I can't even try to love Carl. I can't and I have a good reason for that. In the last week of June, so almost two weeks ago, Robert asked me to be his sweetheart again, through his beautiful letter sent along with wonderfully beautiful boquet of roses. And I answered him with one simple word, "yes".

I haven't seen Rob since this horrible and heartbreaking day in January, I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye to him before he left for Ottawa. I thought that maybe I could live without him, without his personality around me, without his presence, but when I received this letter in April… It was as if I opened an entirely new book and loved it after reading just the first sentence.

And it must be said that I've never experienced anything more romantic than this correspondence we have since April. Actually, I think I got to know him better through those letters than I did while he was sitting right next to me in Rainbow Valley last year. Maybe that's because we had this kind of correspondence (but not in any way romantic) after the war before even Robert came to Glen.

I'm just very confused at times because I'm really scared that Robert will propose to me again but this time I'm not afraid to say "yes", I'm just scared of the marriage itself. It's such a responsibility! And you have to be sure that the man you marry is "the one and only" or otherwise the married life will be entirely misarable. I talked with my parents about it and my Mother said that she knows how I feel and that I shouldn't be scared if I think that my answer to Robert's proposal would be "yes". However my Father thinks that I should "take it easy and think about it properly before giving an answer to Robert at all". I agree with both of my parents and that doesn't make my situation any better.

See? That's why I miss Carl, I would just tell him about my fears and he would give his advice and then wink at me and just by that I would feel more relaxed and calm (not entirely but at least in some ways). I can't tell Una about my fears, even though she's my bosom friend, as she wants me and Carl to be sweethearts and not "just" friends. I can't tell Nan either, even though she's my twin, as she will say that I have to say "yes" to Robert and that I should stop being a silly goose. Rilla would say just the same, and if I would bring the subject to Susan she would probably turn red and say that she is no expert on love affairs and that I should leave her alone with her cooking.

So my situation with both Robert and Carl is quite frightening and it really does keep my mind busy. However I really don't like this kind of 'busy'.

Well, I think that that's enough for today, Mother said that today we'll make strawberry sponge cake (with Susan of course) and we shall all go with the visit to Rilla's, she has been crying since last week (for every reason you can possibly think of) and so she asked us, the "Three Muskeeters of Knitting" (and that's Mother, Susan and I) to help her knit new baby clothes as well as to help her with knitting a new dress for little Leslie.

Yours,

Di Blythe

"Thank you for driving me home, Shirley. I just hope that I won't get soaked by just walking across the road to get home." Di chuckled a bit when she looked out of the window of Shirley's car.

Shirley smiled at her calmly "I don't think you ever did mind getting a little bit soaked." he said and grinned at her knowingly.

Di laughed again and patted his cheek "No, but I do mind when it's the middle of August and the rain should be forbidden till at least October." she said and it was Shirley's turn to chuckle.

"I'll see you tomorrow, won't I?" he asked her when she was getting ready to jump out of the car.

"Of course, Una and I will try out Mary Vance's new recipe for a "lemon chicken" and so I must come and see the result of our cooking." Di replied and kissed Shirley's cheek.

"And I shall taste it." he added and after Di smiled at him, she exited the car and quickly ran under the verandah's roof, not noticing that there was already someone else standing under the verandah's roof and was waiting for her to come home, this someone whom she hadn't seen in almost a nine months' time.

"Diana?" a low, hopeful voice filled Di's head like a scent of perfumes and she turned her head to the place where the voice was coming from.

"Robert!" she exclaimed and jumped on her sweetheart's neck with a happy smile spreading across her face "What in heaven's name are you doing on my verandah?" she asked him joyfully when she put her hands on his flushed cheeks.

Before Robert answered, he bent down to kiss her and Di thought that it couldn't feel more right to feel Robert's kiss on her lips. Suddenly all of the fears and doubts about which Di was writng about in her journal and talked over with her parents disappeared entirely and were replaced with romance and pure definition of happiness.

When Robert pulled away and put his arms around her waist, he kissed her forehead once again, his own eyes sparkling with joy "I thought that a week away from work and Ottawa would do me good." he answered her with a bright smile "I wouldn't choose any other place to go for vacation than the town where my Diana of the Rainbow Valley lives."

Di chuckled quietly and caressed his cheeks tenderly "Oh, Rob, you don't know how happy I am to see you!" she exclaimed once again "But where are you going to stay?" she asked him.

Robert took Di's hand in his own and they both sat down at the table next to them "In my old apartment. It's luckily available and it would be nice to stay in a place that I know well." he said.

"I'm glad." Di replied and smiled at Robert "I wish the weather was better and we could go for a walk straight away." she said but the smile remained on her face.

"It's alright, I was enjoying waiting for you to come, because I knocked on the door and I don't think anyone is inside." Robert answered.

"That's because Mother and Susan went to Miss Cornelia's and Father is out on the call with Jem." Di explained "So, Robert, how is Ottawa and how is your company doing?" she asked him.

Robert grinned at her "It's going better than I expected." he said "My company is on the very top of the hill of success and I couldn't be more pleased about it. Ottawa is also not as bad as I thought it would be after me coming back from the quiet and old Glen St Mary." he squeezed Di's hand as she smiled at him "And how is your life going? Is summer going fast for you?" he asked her.

"The summer is going too fast but in a good way as I'm very excited for this new school year." Di said cheerfully and then she opened her mouth slightly as she almost wanted to tell Robert that she and Carl had a small falling out but she quickly bit her tongue. How could she tell her sweetheart about another man being in love with her? So she smiled at Robert instead "But Rob, please tell me that you don't overwork yourself?" she asked him while worriedly looking at his tired eyes.

"I try not to." he replied with a weak grin "My mother would tell you that I'm "killing myself with work", but my father would say that "I just do an ordinary work", so I suppose that they don't have a specific opinion about that. I don't think I do, although I need a bit of rest. Does that satisfy you?" he smiled at her.

"No, but I know that you won't agree with me that you do overwork yourself." Di shook her head disapprovingly and Robert chuckled "Do you want to come inside?" she asked him slowly.

"No, no. Here is fine." Robert said quickly "Besides, I wouldn't want your parents to think that I'm impolite by entering their house without them being inside it. Let's stay here and enjoy the fresh air instead. Look! It stopped raining!" he said excitedly when he looked at the garden in front of him.

Di looked there as well and smiled dreamily, the sun was shining again and the sky turned positively blue once more. Again, the August could be seen and felt everywhere around them. "I suppose it's still a bit too wet to go for a walk without the rain boots though." she shook her head in disappointement.

All of a sudden Robert turned his head and looked in Di's eyes again. Something in his eyes changed, Di noticed, and she remembered what kind of a twinkle his eyes were shining. Di took a deep breath and so did Robert. "Di?" he whispered, taking her hands in his.

"Yes?" she whispered back, her heart beating fast and her eyes shining with hope, joy and fear.

"I know that it's been just a few months since we parted our ways in such a heartbreaking way." he said eventually, examining her hands "But somehow I feel ready to try again, and I want you to know that my feelings towards you have never changed." Robert looked in her eyes again "I love you, Diana Blythe. And it seems that I can't, and that I don't want to, hide it anymore." he smiled at her when Di's cheeks turned suddenly red "Therefore…" he started and put his hand on her cheek "Di, will you marry me? I promise you that I will be everything you want me to be, because I need you, darling." his voice started shaking a little and Di felt as if a lump was stuck in her throat.

Di took a deep breath. There he was, her sweetheart sitting next to her, proposing for a second time with those hopeful and passionate black eyes looking straight into her own, waiting for a long awaited answer. Di took a deep breath again. She knew the answer, of course she did! But why was she so nervous? Was it normal? Was it expected? She didn't know and wouldn't know for a while yet.

Suddenly her whole future life stood in front of her and she, for the first time in her life, could picture it without any struggle. Her wedding day, her long and loving marriage to Robert, her teaching career in an Ottawa's school, and eventually three perfect children of her own sitting on her lap with those blonde curls of Robert's and green eyes of her own. She was ready and she was excited.

Di smiled at Robert as tears formed in her eyes "Yes, I will." she whispered and put her arms around her fiance's neck.

Two hours later Mrs Blythe and Susan came back to Ingleside from their visit to Miss Cornelia (or rather Mrs Marshall Elliot), and the sound of Di singing welcomed them back. Anne smiled and she almost knew the answer to why Di was so suddenly cheerful and happy. Susan shook her head but grinned nonetheless while looking at 'Mrs Dr dear' and trying to read her thoughts from her glowing face.

"Oh, you're back!" Di exclaimed and kissed both her Mother and Susan with her apron around her waist, and a bowl and a spoon in her hands "I am preparing a special cake for a special occasion today." she announced, her eyes sparkling.

Anne sat down at the kitchen table and observed how her oldest daughter was putting flour in the bowl "What's the occasion darling, if I may ask?" she questioned her.

Di looked at her and smiled widely, she then looked at the bowl in her hand and at her Mother once again. She groaned but she smiled again and sat down next to Anne and Susan who was still stunned that Di wanted to make a cake by herself, without her help. "I wanted to wait for Father to come but I will tell you now. I'm getting married!" Di squeaked and Anne put her arms around her daughter quickly and Susan's eyes turned teary.

"When, Di? And how?" Anne asked her daughter again, her own eyes twinkling.

"Robert surprised me by coming to Glen for a week," Di started explaining, holding Anne's and Susan's hands in hers "-we met at the verandah, we talked and suddenly Robert popped out the question again." she proudly put her right hand in front of her with a shining diamond on it "And I knew, I just knew the the answer!" her own eyes were wet once again "Oh, Mother and Susan are you happy for me?" she asked them, worriedly looking at Susan.

"Sweetheart, we love you and as long as you are happy, we are too, maybe even more than you." Anne replied warmly and squeezed Di's hand tightly.

"I know that I will be cross with myself after this conversation is ended." Susan sobbed "Me, the old Susan Baker: crying! Oh, Di dear, you're the last one of our children to get married, this house will be so empty after you leave."

Di kissed Susan's cheek quickly "It won't be until next year." she said to her comfortingly "Besides, Ingleside could never be empty, not with all of the small children visiting here more and more often as they grow older."

Susan wiped away her tears and patted Di's hand "You're right, Di dear." she said eventually "Well, we still have a year with you living here and this must do."

"And we will treasure this time as much as we possibly can." Anne added joyfully.

Di put her arms around her Mother and Susan and let her tears of happiness flow down her flushed cheeks "And I will dream about the time after the next summer holidays." she whispered to herself.