He was sorry, but not for just the typical reasons Robin was far to complex for such simple things. He was guilty so very guilty of so many crimes against love that he could not keep count, but this crime was fresh in his mind.. a part of him was still in love with Bruce. There were days when his lover's lips would entangle his that he envisioned they were Bruce's. It was wrong, but how could you simply walk away from your first love? You couldn't. All these memories invaded his mind.. He just couldn't stop thinking about him when those intimate moments haunted him..
Bruce was the polar opposite of Slade. Bruce was never into the rough love making that Slade had cultivated Robin into. Bruce was a softer lover which sometimes Robin loved, because he could be free with Bruce. He could just let go of all the things that plagued his mind, and focus on feeling nothing but pleasure. He recalled their first time. Bruce kissing his lips softly sucking on his bottom lip tenderly. He could just feel the lightest presence of the elder's teeth on the pink flesh. He trailed kisses down his neck, and collarbone murmuring sweet nothings in his ear. Bruce undressed him with care, and admiring every inch of him. He was patient with him nurturing even never faltering with his love for him. He was a selfless lover it was all about Robin. He pampered him, indulged in every weakness, kissed the soreness away, and held him at night to make the nightmares to go Batman made his younger lover feel special, worthy, and flawless. He made him feel things he never imagined feeling in his life. He opened him up to all new experiences that were foreign to him both romantically, and culturally. He made Robin feel alive for the time in his life. They shared a unique bond that no one could understand.
Robin could never just erase that out of his mind. He could never hate Bruce. He just could never do such things. He was in love with Bruce, and that hadn't changed until he had encountered Slade. The older villain was ruthless in all aspects of life which Robin found appealing. He was drawn to him like a moth to light deadly, but beautiful. The way they made love would force Robin to fight, engage, and just be raw for once in his life that in itself was entirely to erotic. Slade was awakened a new Robin, but the remnants of the Old Robin still remained. The young hero noticed how Slade's body wasn't riddled with scars from self harm like Bruce, or the look of bliss when he entered a room like Bruce. No Slade looked at him with a lust, a yearn, a need, but never bliss, or so he thought.
Bruce was his first love, and that could never truly leave his heart. He knew what he had to do. He had to go see Bruce a final time to make peace so that he could fully love Slade, and he had to do it alone. So he vanished one lonely night in October. His communicator lay by his bed as did his uniform. He wasn't going as a fellow superhero he was going as himself the boy Bruce loved not the boy he turned him into. He walked the streets with no mask just his warm auburn eyes shining , and a broken expression such an interesting combination. He breathed in all the toxicity of the city, and he knew that he was finally home.
' Oh Gotham my old friend I have missed you' he though to himself walking in the direction of the Wayne Manor.
Gotham was a rotting, decaying city that was sub-merged into the filthy criminal life that it's inhabitants participated in. It was a dark seedy place with every crook, and cranny full of the town's nastiest well kept secrets. How could Bruce want to save a place beyond repair? How could he have let him let this city murder him from the inside out. Robin soon remembered why he left this place. He knew what it did to you it took your soul. It took everyone he ever loved, and he hated this dungeon venomously. He walked past the police station another painful memory they were ready to lynch Bruce. They weren't ready for their injustices to stop. All they did was joke about how they wish he would die slowly in agony. Bruce suffered injuries no one should live through including emotional ones, but he stood tall. He was a true hero. He walked past the meek gray building hidden by all the other bigger stores. He could see it from a mile away it was after all the place where he had his first kiss.