Again come the morning (part 4)

Steve's eyes are the first thing Tony sees, and then Cap says, relief obvious in his voice, 'I'd be mad at you if I weren't so busy being terrified.'

''m fine,' Tony says breathlessly and blinks.

There is dry sand under his body, under his head and his bare hands.

'I told you that you shouldn't –'

'Steve, please. Not now. I…'

'All right,' Steve agrees, nodding, and helps Tony sit up slowly, then hands him a bottle of pleasantly cool water. 'JARVIS had me seriously scared when he told me and no one else to follow, though. I left everyone behind with strict order not to come. But that was silly, Tony, you might have needed medical attention and Bruce –'

'J wouldn't let me have my way if he wasn't sure it's okay – by the way, thanks hon, I so love you, J.'

'I was opposed to your idea, sir,' JARVIS says unhappily from the side, 'but I took the surprise factor into consideration and easily calculated it would be much more efficient to follow your orders and not let anyone else know, making sure Captain Rogers actually helps you.'

'Also, this,' Steve says, waving at Tony and JARVIS in the armor, kneeling by his side, 'isn't a regular thing, y'know? I've never seen him like this. It's – weird. Sorry, JARVIS.'

'That is okay, Captain. I am aware of this situation being highly unconventional.'

Steve nods, frowning slightly – he is listening to someone over the comm, Tony realizes, he can't hear the messages as normally it's JARVIS to transmit them for him. Steve nods again, more decisively this time, and looks back at Tony.

'So, since you're fine, am I supposed to let you back in the suit and flying?' he asks, sounding resigned and appalled at the same time. 'Since we're in the middle of nowhere and it's getting dark now and you need to get out of here. And you still won't tell the others –'

'Steve –'

'You do realize, Tony, that there might be a moment when I won't be able to take you away and make sure you're not too damaged,' Steve says softly, looking around and then locking his eyes back on Tony. 'If you keep insisting on flying to missions by yourself?'

'There might,' Tony acknowledges, mentally assessing how his body feels; since there didn't seem to be any particular reason to the episode – other than exhaustion, maybe, and too many somersaults in the air – he should be quite fine. 'There might not,' he adds, massaging his temples a bit; it's more of a routine than actual help.

'Can I at least persuade you to get on Quinjet and get back to New York with us? Please?'

'JARVIS wouldn't let me –'

'Tony,' Steve cuts in sharply, 'please.'

'It'll only make everything more difficult to explain –'

'Don't worry about that,' Steve tells him and then wraps his arm around Tony's back reassuringly. 'Now you're going to eat this,' he says, taking out an energy bar from one of his secret pockets, 'JARVIS gave me one of those you keep on hand. So, you'll eat this, we'll wait a few minutes and you drink more water before we move.'

'Okay,' Tony mutters, taking the bar thankfully.

When he's feeling a bit stronger and JARVIS clears him, after a scan as thorough as he can manage through the suit, they make their way back to the other Avengers. Iron Man gets onboard with them; no one gives him stares but that's probably because Steve is glaring. Tony doesn't say anything at all, ignoring JARVIS quiet question about the benefits of possible informing the rest of the Avengers, at least about Nate.

Then he falls asleep in the armor which is something completely new. He's pretty sure JARVIS takes care of pretending he's human and lets Tony rest, he only wakes up before they land, when J tells him he'll have to move in a moment.

'That was silly, if I may, sir,' JARVIS says as soon as they land in the workshop, having left the HQ as soon as it was possible.

'Just don't, J,' Tony sighs tiredly, rubbing his eyes as soon as the suit's off. 'I – just don't.'

'I am afraid if you continue like this you will have to –'

'Mute,' Tony says and immediately regrets it because it's damn rude and JARVIS is right. So he adds, 'cancel. Sorry, J, I'm just… I don't know. I'm tired. I think I should just go to sleep and sleep for like forever, and I can't since we've got the debrief tomorrow and I don't know if I can be bothered.'

'I will go to the headquarters tomorrow, sir. You don't have to – there's an incoming call,' JARVIS changes the subject, his voice almost as if he was frowning. 'From Mister Parker.'

'Patch him through.'

'Heya, Iron Man,' Peter's voice fills the room, 'hope you ain't too banged up after today, but that's totally not what I was going to say and well let me skip the pleasantries – why Steve?'

'Sorry?' Tony asks, blinking, as he sits down in his armchair, resting his tired muscles.

'Whatever was wrong, and don't say nothing was wrong because obviously something was, so whatever was wrong, why did you ask Steve only to follow you? I mean, I know you guys are an item but still, you were very harsh about that and it's not very much like you, and then Steve had this look on his face that man, I wouldn't dare to follow – but I thought you told me your secret stuff, back in the cave, and that you'd trust me with things –'

'Peter –'

'– and just, what do I not know? What does he know that I don't?' Peter questions, a hurt tone in his voice making Tony cringe inwardly. 'Are you still hiding something from me, because you know, I trusted you –'

'Peter –'

'And you just told me what, a few days ago, that I should tell everyone my identity because it seems to you like I should –'

'Peter!' Tony exclaims, feeling strange doing that over the phone. 'I understand what you're saying, okay? I do. And I understand why you might be angry – please don't interrupt. I understand because the whole thing today was suspicious and all, but honestly, it was something between me and Steve. You're right, we're an item. And it was private. Okay?'

'Yeah,' Peter says, not sounding convinced at all. Tony can imagine him rolling his eyes.

'We'll talk later, okay?' Tony adds and motions at JARVIS to end the connection. 'That was rude, wasn't it?'

'It was.'

'I should've tried more, right?'

'Probably.'

'I could tell him, at some point, he would keep the secret, wouldn't he?'

'I believe he would, sir.'

'He's just a kid,' Tony murmurs to himself, standing up slowly, even though the thought of moving makes him exhausted; the armchair isn't the best place to sleep though. 'He's just a sad kid pretending he's not sad and looking for guidance and I'm offering him everything but. Fuck it.'

There is a moment of silence when Tony makes his way from the workshop to his bedroom, Happy nowhere to be seen – probably informed by JARVIS that Tony is okay enough and would prefer to be left alone – and when he takes off his clothes and sneaks under the covers, JARVIS says, his words so quiet that barely audible, 'You should just rest, sir.'

Iron Man acts in his typical way during the debrief, in a way he used to always be before he got to know the team a little better: silent, not offering any words until asked directly; cold and unmoving. That might not be the cleverest way to do things, but it draws a line between him and everyone else, one that the other Avengers seem to feel well enough, so when the meeting is over no one follows him or tries to ask questions.

Steve catches up with Iron Man on the roof.

'Tell Tony I'll be at his place in half hour,' he says, patting the armor on its shoulder.

JARVIS forwards the words to Tony in real time.

'Tell him to meet me in the big 'shop,' he says, sighing, realizing that it means he actually has to put on normal clothes and probably eat something and ignore the exhaustion that wasn't completely erased by long hours of sleep, like he hoped it would be.

Steve acknowledges the words and Iron Man takes off. Tony puts on jeans and a hoodie, the first things that he manages to grab from his wardrobe, and tries to silently make his way to meet the armor, but Happy stops as soon as he steps out of his room.

'Food,' he almost snarls, his eyes dark. He's angry, Tony can tell easily, but he doesn't want to say anything. 'Now.'

'Okay,' Tony agrees, feeling bad for worrying Happy like that. Even though it's left unspoken. 'Thanks.'

'I'm gonna get a heart attack because of you, boss,' Happy says when Tony's half done with his soup and crackers with cream cheese; not very breakfast-y but Tony is glad for having something easy on his stomach to eat.

'Sorry,' Tony mutters between bites. Happy just shakes his head. 'I'm meeting Steve in a moment. Will come back for dinner.'

'You should rest –'

'I don't have enough time,' Tony counters and there isn't anything anyone could say to make a valid argument.

Steve doesn't ask any questions, assessing Tony's wellbeing rather than inquiring, and when he seems satisfied – despite the dark circles under Tony's eyes – he sweeps Tony into a strong hug and doesn't let him go for a good few minutes.

Tony leans into the embrace, resting his head on Steve's collarbone, and tries to match his too shallow breaths to Steve's. The radiating warmth all around him makes him feel weak but in the best of ways: weak with someone who'd take care of him just there. He wouldn't mind staying like this for hours and hours, he decides, especially today.

It's the anniversary of the Battle of New York. No one said anything back in HQ, assuming that each person might want to honor the day in their own way, but there is a memorial event in the evening that everyone can attend.

He might go, if he manages not to fall asleep in the meantime, which his body seems to demand.

'Thank you,' he mutters into Steve's chest.

'Hey,' Steve replies, tightening the grip around Tony's thin frame comfortingly. 'Is there anything you want me to tell the team? They're eying me. I don't mind but I thought –'

'Tell them it's private, please,' Tony repeats the words he told Peter. 'Can we just go on now? 'Cause I've got things I want to do before the evening. Lots of things. I don't like being interrupted by aliens and things.'

'No one does – you're going? To Central Park?'

'I want to. You know, the speeches, the candles, pretending to be military because no one can know we're S.H.I.E.L.D.,' Tony muses; that part seemed reasonable but strange. They can go as civilians, of course, but if they want to honor the dead as soldiers, they have to pretend they're not S.H.I.E.L.D.

'Do you even have an army uniform?'

'Nick'll have one for me. I'm pretty sure Hermes had been bitching about looking elegant enough and this year's trends in men's smart clothing and how the uniforms don't go well with most people's eye colors or something like that.'

'Right,' Steve agrees, a small smile finally at the corners of his mouth. 'We have like four hours to kill, then – what do you want to do?'

'Let's test your super-soldier brainwaves,' Tony points at the corner with his experimental machines, glad no one is forcing him into another you should take better care of yourself talk today. Maybe it's just not the right day today, with everyone's minds a year back in time.

A year.

It's so hard to believe, especially when Tony thinks about the place him and Steve were in May 2012. A world away.

Rhodey comes by an hour before Tony and Steve are supposed to leave for the Avengers HQ to get dressed and ready for the memorial. He and Steve talk as Tony works, having been almost force-fed pizza. They seem to have a lot of memories to exchange and a lot of words to describe their experiences as proper army men, something Tony has never experienced, so he respects that and keeps to himself, not interrupting.

When it's time, Tony makes his usual transformation into Nate, still gaining a disbelieving headshake from Steve who keeps repeating it's amazing how his body language changes. Rhodey has to go by himself – it would be too suspicious if he joined the Avengers – so he takes a taxi as Steve drives Tony to HQ in a S.H.I.E.L.D.-issued black car.

'One of the juniors dropped this off in the morning,' Clint signs when he sees Nate and points at a package sitting on the table. It's a uniform, like Tony predicted, and it fits him perfectly. That doesn't make him feel less weird.

'You look very smart,' Steve comments, adjusting the collar of his shirt, the custom-made clothes fitting him perfectly, and leads Tony downstairs.

'I still would've preferred Hawkeye outfit,' Clint complains as he enters the hall where the rest of them are waiting. 'I know, Phil, don't give me that look, I know we'd stand out too much and everyone would just have their attention on us instead of the ceremony, but gosh I hate these shoes. And the tie.'

'Stop complaining,' Natasha rolls her eyes, looking perfectly comfortable in her heels and skirt. Tony is surprised that she didn't request a pair of pants – but that hardly matters. 'You okay?' she asks Phil, who seems a bit pale. He nods but seems to relax a bit when Clint takes his arm under his and whispers something into his ear.

Peter isn't there, of course it'd be impossible of him to come as Spider Man, but Tony doesn't doubt he'll be somewhere in the crowd anyway.

'Up to a walk?' Steve mutters into Tony's ear, taking his arm too, as they all move to head for the outside.

'Or?' he signs

'I could carry you,' Steve says, giving Tony a look.

'I'm fine,' Tony assures Steve and lets him lead.

The park is packed with thousands of people. It's an astonishing sight, really, on the beautiful late spring evening, everyone bathed in soft sunlight. It's even more stunning that it's so quiet; it seems like a few whispers here and there would turn into a low rumble, like a thunder, throughout the crowd, but everyone keeps silent.

S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are mixed with actual soldiers and NYPD officers, standing by the rows of plastic chairs placed around the scene from which the speeches will be given, with New Yorkers behind them. Tony recognizes many faces, all of them sullen and thoughtful, most hiding their expressions behind sunglasses.

It's five minutes to the beginning when someone makes their way towards the Avengers. It takes Tony too long to recognize the man and that's a very impressive feat.

'My friends,' Thor says, keeping his voice just above a whisper. He's wearing a uniform, too – Tony doesn't want to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. would have Nordic god size in stock – with his hair in a ponytail and his face clean-shaven. 'I have made every possible effort to be with you on this day –'

'Hi, guys,' another voice pipes in and Jane reveals herself from behind Thor, dressed to melt into the crowd. 'Thor picked me up from Australia. We had a… magical trip here. I'm glad to be with you.'

'And I, too,' Thor says at their astonished faces, wrapping an arm around Jane. 'But we shall talk afterwards,' he adds, giving Phil a long look. Phil nods, turning his attention back to the podium, and everyone follows – but Tony can feel Thor's gaze on his back for too long to feel comfortable about it. He does his best to ignore it, stands a few inches closer to Steve, and focuses on the people walking up the stage.

There are speeches and promises, wishes and memories and lists of names, and the words, amplified by many huge speakers, spread over the park and along the surrounding streets.

Tony looks around subtly, unspeakably thankful for the possibility to seat down, pitying the poor people standing behind in a tight crowd – but they are okay, he tells himself. He isn't okay.

He fancies he sees Rhodey and some generals he used to meet with before Afghanistan, discussing arms and deals, and looks away because it's not a good idea to go back down the memory lane that far.

A year ago he flew a nuke into space and hardly anyone but Steve and Fury knows that. When the Mayor mentions that and gives thanks to Iron Man for the feat, Tony feels those two pairs of eyes on him as he stares at his feet.

The sun slowly settles as the words continue, Manhattan skyscrapers reflecting more orange and pink and red and then violet, the colors changing in slow motion, giving time to everyone who was wearing shades to pocket them and pretend they're fine exposing their shiny eyes.

When the dusk settles, the speeches end and the people disperse around the lamp-lit park to grab a small candle boats from specially prepared points all around the area, and they light the candles and let them float on the calm surfaces of all ponds and lakes of the park. Tony lets Steve grab his hand tightly and lead them to get the lanterns, too, and they set them on the water in silence.

It must look beautiful from the air, Tony thinks, and wishes he could get into the suit and see for himself.

The Avengers are going to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ though, as planned, Nate and Jane with them, to have a toast to the memory of the fallen agents. The walk back in calm and tiring, making Tony's legs heavy, but Steve keeps him close and that's enough of a motivation not to stop.

When they finally reach the HQ, Tony takes a moment to quickly swallow a few bites of an energy bar, just to be safe, and refresh himself a bit with freezing cold water splashed on his face and neck, and then he feels more human.

The artificial lights of the building feel unreal for the rest of the evening, compared to the cozy half-darkness of the outside.

He drinks a few sips of whiskey, the alcohol burning his throat – it's strange, thinking how he was used to the feeling, before the medicine and everything – and then nurses the glass' contents for the rest of the meeting.

Steve makes him stay in his room at the Avengers' place, since it's closer and Tony doesn't have to travel across the night-clad city.

Tony agrees, not saying that he doesn't want to be alone either.

'You are most important today, not me. My stories can wait,' is what Tony hears when he enters the kitchen in the morning, dressed in his own clothes, with Steve a step behind. 'Hello, Steven, Nate,' Thor greets them, smiling over the plate filled with food, 'I was just telling Phillip and Clinton that I am not going to – steal their spotlight, I think Jane said.'

Jane nods at that, smiling apologetically.

'I told you about half million times not to call me Clinton,' Clint sighs, stirring his coffee with more energy than necessary. 'And I'll be thinking of nothing but your trip to Earth during the ceremony and Phil won't be too happy about that.'

'You'll forget everything as soon as you put on your suit,' Phil comments calmly and goes back to muttering something over the phone, presumable to Fury since those two always have something to whisper about.

'I'll get going, need to get my proper clothes and all. See you at four,' Nate signs to Clint who just sighs in response, and then nods tiredly.

Steve walks Tony out of the HQ and around the corner where Happy is waiting in a car.

'See you at four, then.'

'And you, handsome,' Tony replies, giving Steve a quick kiss on the cheek, and hides inside the car. Happy drives off, not bothering to say a word; instead, he plays soft music and before Tony knows it he loses track of things.

'You better wake up,' Happy's voice says loudly and authoritatively, and then the room fills with light. 'I know you didn't have time to rest properly and you were too stubborn to admit that, boss, but it's quarter to three and you need food, shower, and time to make yourself presentable for the wedding. You okay?'

'Yeah,' Tony replies, sitting up and trying to figure how he got into his bed. He vaguely remembers leaning against the wall in the elevator, so Happy probably dragged Tony's half-asleep self from the car to the flat. 'Yeah, thanks.'

'I made you a full wholesome meal and you're going to eat it,' Happy adds, making it sound almost like a threat.

Tony rolls his eyes and nods, making his way to the bathroom first. A shower later he feels more human and ready to face the almost too bight world outside; admittedly, a perfect weather for a wedding. Postcard-like.

When he's ready, Happy drives him to the City Hall where he meets the rest of the team and a few agents. It's nice to be a part of a family, especially that he knows neither Phil nor Clint have living relatives; the HQ is literally the only home they have.

The ceremony is quick, bright and flower-scented, and everyone cheers when the newlyweds exchange a customary kiss. Then Phil scoops Clint, despite his protest, and carries him bridal style out of the room.

When the rest of them follows, they see Clint blushing and almost mad at Phil for doing that, but Natasha just rolls her eyes and tells them to kiss again, which Phil obediently does, and Clint doesn't complain anymore. Then everyone gets into the cars and they drive to the Avengers HQ. There isn't a big party planned, like Clint mentioned when he talked to Steve: just cake and champagne in the back garden of the mansion.

Peter is there, in his usual clothes, hanging upside down from one of the roof shades, looking as relaxed as ever, but Tony can tell he's not really. He eats cake and makes jokes and pranks the unsuspecting agents but he's – tense.

'Excuse me,' Nate signs to Steve and walks into the building, knowing that Peter notices that and will follow.

'I think Thor wants to talk to me,' Peter says as soon as he gets into the control room – it's a good hiding place.

'Yes?' Tony types, the words appearing on the computer screen quickly.

'Do you ever get the feeling that he knows much more than he lets on – creepily more than he honestly should?'

'Yes,' Tony types truthfully, even though he feels like writing more than you know. Thor just looks at people, when they're not paying attention to him, with a heavy stare of someone who's lived through too much, but when you look at him, he always has the blinding smile on his face.

'I hated this, you know,' Peter says after a moment of silence, pacing around the room in quick strides in his usual manner. 'I hated it so much, not being able to stand by you yesterday. Not being able to come to the wedding ceremony today. I never – I never expected this. I just wanted to be Captain's America sidekick and do some good in my free time.'

'But this is…?'

'This is more than I bargained for,' Peter admits, although with slight reluctance, as if he wasn't sure Tony is trustworthy enough to hear the words. 'Before the Avengers, I popped here and there like I wanted, fought crime and had fun being badass since no one could ever catch me, and this –'

'It's family,' Tony's words flash on the screen.

'Yeah.'

'And you want to be a real part of it.'

Peter gives him a long look, stopping in the middle of the room, and then says, 'I want to feel like I belong somewhere.'

It's the exact words that Tony could have said himself, some time ago, when he was Peter's age, trying to find the feeling of belonging after his parent's deaths, trying to find it desperately and in the wrong places and in ways that hardly ever ended well. He can only wish Peter will be smarter.

'I want to tell them,' he adds, 'but I'm terrified of doing that because it's been a secret for years and it's been one of the things that defined me, you know. The duality.'

Tony nods, shuddering inwardly at his own thoughts about sharing identity – especially that he's fucked things up even more than anyone can imagine, right? – and offers Peter a tired smile. The boy is so much smarter than he lets on, with his funny non-caring façade.

'What do you want me to tell you? Because it seems to me that you already know the answer.'

Peter nods. Tony waits for some kind of an elaboration, but the conversation seems to be over.

'You know what?' Peter asks when he's right next to the door, his hand on the doorknob, 'I know what to do. I just want to show my pretty face at your wedding,' he says and disappears.

Tony blinks, processing the words, and then laughs soundlessly.

He isn't there when Peter breaks the news; he goes home around midnight, mostly forced by Steve and Happy's persistent phone calls. Sitting around eating snacks and talking isn't a taxing thing but Steve still notices his tiredness.

Then, as soon as he wakes up, JARVIS tells him and Tony takes a moment, trying to wrap his head around the news.

'That was quick,' he mutters, stretching his back pleasantly. 'What did the others say?'

'Doctor Banner admitted to being familiar with his name which made Peter rather happy. Agent Barton complained that people keep stealing his spotlight, but he seemed quite friendly to Peter, treating him as I imagine someone would treat a younger brother.'

'No surprise there,' Tony nods, putting on a pair of pants and a t-shirt in a few efficient movements. 'The rest?'

'Agent Romanov seemed happy to have one less mystery to resolve –'

'Which means now she'll be all about Iron Man. Ugh,' Tony sighs, but strangely finds himself not caring that much.

Maybe it's too beautiful day to care.

'So I missed all the drama,' he tells Happy when he emerges from the bathroom into the fruit-scented room, a fresh smoothie waiting for him on the kitchen table. 'Thanks, man,' he adds, taking the glass and sipping the perfect red berries drink.

'Drama?'

'Spider Man revealing his identity when Steve shoved me out of HQ 'cause you need to be rested for your treatment my ass.'

Happy doesn't seem too impressed.

'As if you couldn't have Ijon show you all the footage in 3D,' he just comments, rolling his eyes over the newspaper.

The next morning Tony gets a lift to the clinic, the radiation routine is engraved into his mind by now so he lets his mind wander as the usual sequence of steps and movements is followed, and then he's finished – feeling blissfully well, thank you – he tells Happy to drive him to Riverside where he promised to meet Annik and go for a walk with her and the kids, if he can. He feels like he can so he meets them in front of the Riverside entrance and they make their way to the park, in the high sunlight, the stuffy warm air thick around them. Tony loves it.

He loves that kids don't ask questions, too, just take things as they are, because he knows he looks sick.

Annik doesn't ask any questions either, she's too polite for that, but she does throw him subtle glances more than usually. When they are about to go back, almost two hours later, Tony texts Happy asking him to grab Rhodey from his apartment – they were supposed to meet for a meal later so Tony knows Rhodey's home – and pick him up.

'Take us to the big 'shop,' he asks as he gets into the back of the car. Happy obey and less than twenty minutes later they are walking into the room.

'You prefer take-in pizza on the 'shop floor to a home-cooked meal?' Happy teases, taking of his sunglasses and tossing the car keys onto one of the workbenches.

'It has a certain appeal to it,' Tony teases, checking something on one of the screen JARVIS automatically turned on as soon as Tony pressed his finger to the pad to open the door. 'But it's not what things are about today – I just realized that it's been a year since the battle.'

'Duh,' Happy rolls his eyes.

'Well, that isn't a great observation by itself, maybe, but it lead me to a cool idea, so you're gonna be thankful for my not-deep thoughts. I should have done this, like, ages ago,' he adds, gesturing at the northern corner of the room, seemingly empty. 'J, come on.'

A second later there are three suits there, each of different size, custom-made, and Tony turns around with a wide grin.

'What d'ya say?'

'Wicked,' Rhodey says and then whistles as JARVIS walks the suits closer, ready to be occupied.

'Help yourself. JARVIS will make sure you don't fall into something or kill yourself,' he adds, as if it was some kind of a comfort – it should be, he spent lots of time getting bruised learning to fly by himself and JARVIS makes it about hundred times easier.

Before he gets into his suit he dry-swallows an antiemetic, just to be on the safe side, and flies out first, with Rhodey and Happy following him, invisibility mode engaged in all the suits, and they spend a good few afternoon hours in the air.

Thor finally decides to explain and discuss things during the team meeting. While everyone was impatient, they understood that he needed time alone with Jane as they haven't seen each other in months.

'I have heard about your problems, friends,' he greets everyone is his usual booming voice and smile, and then gestures at Jane. 'Jane explained me what has happened during my absence, as well as what you are still inspecting. I have heard about the portals that appear out of nowhere and disappear a mere moment later – Heimdall never misses to notice such occurrences – yet none of us are able to explain the origin. The portals are not natural, we have never seen anything alike before. I assume it is a problem of wrong advancement of Midgardian technology.'

'So, basically, even Asgardian magic and shit can't help us and we'll probably be flying around the world like mad trying to kill off weird creatures popping up here and there?' Clint summarizes, sounding resigned, and understands the sentiment very well.

'Until we find the source and stop the evens right there,' Natasha reminds them.

The two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have infiltrated the southern facility but their communications is vastly limited so only when they decide they have enough information will the whole agency have full view of the situation. And that might take weeks.

'You, sir, do not have to worry about that. You have me,' JARVIS tells Tony, making him smile and nod slightly; he indeed doesn't have to do things personally. Though he'd rather chose that option.

'What about Loki?' Phil asks, and Clint's hand wraps around his straight away.

'He is in still prison and shall not be allowed to roam free for decades, as promised,' Thor says solemnly. Everyone breathes our in relief. 'It would be easier, my friends, if Loki was behind these strange events. Now we need to find the source and the reason behind it.'

'True,' they agree and keep on talking. Tony keeps Iron Man quiet and reserved today, since he doesn't have anything to input, really, and spends most of the meeting observing Peter. He seems to be unsure, a strange state for Spider Man. He talks less and jokes less and doesn't annoy everyone endlessly and endearingly; maybe it's just transition.

He probably feels exposed.

Natasha, Jane and Clint are going back to Australia – no honeymoon time in the end, it seems – while the rest of them stays in America in case something happens. Again. Also, it's a good idea to train some more since Thor is around and, as he claims, plans to stay in Midgard some time, helping with whatever intergalactical mess might build up.

When Iron Man is going to take off from the roof, Peter catches up with him and asks him to wait a second.

'I just wanted to let you know you were right,' he says, keeping his voice down in the middle of the empty corridor. 'It's better to have a family than anything else. And while I still feel as if I were damn naked – and let me know I'm not that type – most of the time, at least, it's gonna be fine. Everyone is so accommodating.'

'I'm glad,' Iron Man's voice is earnest, like Tony's own. 'Are you going to…?' he trails off, gesturing at the building around them.

'Yeah, I think I might move in. Fun, right? And free food. Always welcome.'

'Let me know when and I'll find you a housewarming gift,' Tony says and mock-salutes Peter before quickly disappearing, leaving the young man following him with his sharp eyes.

'Sir, Hermes is pestering me about Director Fury demanding you come and inform him about the progress you have done regarding portals. At the team meeting.'

'Tell him there is no progress and that I will come on Monday – Nate will. After clinic. I'm so going home, Pepper comes back from Europe in like, half an hour, and I have things scheduled. Science, very important things, groundbreaking things,' he says as he finally takes off, jumping from the edge of the building and letting the suit carry him. 'Changing the world of medicine via Pepper's brainwaves or something. You can actually say that if you wanna, as long as no one bothers me today.'

'I think you should just make use of the analgesic you were prescribed, sir.'

'Sometimes I hate how perceptive I made you,' Tony mumbles, ignoring the words when he comes home. For half an hour. Then he breaks and takes half a dose and it helps scarily much.

At least Pepper is happy to see him genuinely smiling.

JARVIS categorically forbids Tony to get into one of the suits and go to the training. None of them say anything aloud, anything about Tony being in pain, but they don't have to.

Tony hates it more than anything. He appreciates the medicine a lot and even enjoys the sudden numbness he imagines more than feels when the meds kick in, but it still feels like stepping onto grounds he's never wanted to visit. And knowing, as a fact, that there's no going back, he hates that most.

But it's just pain meds, Happy tells him. Happy is too fluent at Tony-speak for his own good. He makes Tony lay down on the sofa with his head in Happy's lap, and discuss the schedule for the big arc rector – they finally have to start getting things done – and then blueprints. He has the bots sneak out of the workshop, too, to stretch their legs and make Tony smile with their goofy attempts at comfort. Pepper and Rhodey come by too, as soon as they can, and in the evening the whole human-robotic family is there.

'Finally,' Fury comments when Tony sneaks into his office on Monday morning. 'You do make people wait for you, Rives.'

'I have a life, you know,' Tony rolls his eyes, sitting down unceremoniously. 'And it's not like I have anything to tell you, I've been keeping in touch with Jane, data-wise, and I will continue keeping in touch with everyone, data-wise, and if there's something I notice, I'll let you guys know. About portals and things. Is that what you wanted to ask about?'

'That is,' Fury admits, and then sits down in front of Tony, resting his chin on a support of intervenes hands. 'Good job with Peter, too,' he says and damn, his eyes are sparkling and he looks content. Tony has never seen him look content or anything similar. That's very new.

'Thanks, I guess – did it matter to you, knowing his identity? I thought it didn't matter to you. And you probably knew already.'

'I neither confirm nor deny,' Fury declares in a way that makes Tony feel sure Director did know. 'It's good for the team. Better response time, getting to know each other, good for fighting together.'

'Whatever you say,' Tony agrees, wondering if that's what really matters. Or maybe Fury is just a soft-inside bastard who is secretly happy seeing a lost boy find his place.

Tony is seriously starting to doubt the icy façade.

'Also, Banner came up to me when we were discussing Foster's trip to Australia. He said he was glad I didn't try to send him there, and he asked me if I knew anything about Nate.'

'As in?'

'As in, he has fucking eyes, Tony, and he's had eyes on you for a damn year. Talk to him or something, tell him what's wrong or make him stop poking his nose into your affairs, whichever, I don't care – I just don't want to be the oracle. Which apparently everyone seems I am. Everyone says you know everything, Director, my ass, Banner,' Fury mutters, making Tony snicker, but then his face grows serious.

'It's complicated,' he just says, standing up, Fury's eyes following him closely.

'Everything about your life is.'

'Fair enough,' Tony says, then nods and opens the doors, making his way straight outside. He remotely feels like throwing up but nowhere near real throwing up, so he sucks it, puts on his sunglasses and crosses the street to walk on the sunny side of the road.

Steve stays over for a few days during the week, taking care of Tony who is embarrassed by how warm it makes him feel inside to know someone looks out for him while he's sick. He knows it's how things are supposed to be, how humans are supposed to act, but other than his few close friends, no one has ever treated him like that. Howard would always tell him to stop whining, Obie and all business partners would tell him to suck it up since there are more important things going on. Maybe they never said it directly, but he heard it anyway.

The week seems to be bad and it makes Tony think about what Levy said, and Doc, that he will know when it's time to stop the treatment because it does more bad than good – but it's not this moment yet, Tony tells himself. Yes he still wonders.

He feels like he's got a bad flu, even though there are no flu symptoms but general feeling sick, and a heavy pounding in his head that won't stop. He's not even running fever.

Steve scoops him out of bed, first thing in the morning, and helps him to the bathroom; he doesn't seem to mind wrapping his arms about Tony when he throws up, or cajoling Tony into eating some pudding and crackers. He reads Tony's prescriptions carefully and makes sure everything is on order, and he asks Tony to stop playing macho and use the analgesic.

'You're too good to be real,' Tony tells him, making Steve smile sadly.

'No, I've just been sick enough time in my life to understand and learn to appreciate help, and all I can do now is give help. And you deserve it. I know Happy takes care of you, and James and Pepper, and your doctor friend, but I want to be there, too. 'Cause I understand.'

'All right,' Tony agrees tiredly, 'I'm glad someone does.'

Thursday evening Iron Man is called to an emergency op in Middle East – helping out with retrieving captured civilians, something Tony feels very strongly about – and Steve needs to go to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ for a meeting. He ends up assisting Thor and Spider Man in containing a domestic terrorist who popped up in D.C.; not really Avengers' usual job but the man is known to be affiliated with a few shady businesses so Fury really wants to keep close in case something goes wrong.

Something does go wrong, there is some strange experimental device in action, one that no one understands well yet, and the three Avenger's superhuman features help them get on the top of the situation.

That's what JARVIS and Pepper tell Tony in the morning, when he's getting ready to leave for the clinic, shuddering at the idea of going outside: it's pouring, maybe it's warm June rain but it's pouring, grey clouds floating quickly over the cityscape. He slept the whole night curled up on the sofa, with Pepper right next to him. She didn't fall asleep at all, but when he tries to apologize for keeping her awake, she scolds him.

'I wouldn't have gone to sleep anyway, Mister Stark. We're going over finance plans for the next few years and I took two days off to finish trying to wrap my head around it enough to be able to trust my finance dept. All these pages,' she says, waving at the nearby stacks, 'I'd have to go through anyway.'

'If you say so,' he agrees, knowing that there's no point in arguing with Pepper. 'By the way, J, thanks for the good job and congratulations on saving what, was it twenty-seven people? I think it was twenty-seven people. Good job, kid.'

'Thank you, sir,' the A.I. replies smoothly.

'How long before you're home?'

'ETA five yours, sir. Minus debrief.'

'Good luck with Fury and Hermes, honey pie.'

'Sometimes you can be very cruel, sir,' JARVIS deadpans, making Pepper snicker. 'But I hope I shall enjoy myself pretending to be you pretending to be Iron Man.'

'Won't Fury want to talk face to face…?'

'I'm Tony Stark and I know you know that he knows, Pep. He should be prepared for me doing Stark-level crazy shit, and refusing to pull up the faceplate it's that high on the list.'

When radiation is finally over, Tony sighs with relief at the thought, he spends the day with Rhodey, planning the final day for synthesizing all the new-still-nameless element they need for a big reactor core, and then for testing it out before they actually make everything work.

JARVIS sends out a message cancelling Nate's visit to Riverside, citing urgent matters and promising to come over whenever he can.

Instead of spending time with kids, Tony spends Saturday with Steve, talking a very slow walk through the rain-scented streets. The weather is much better, with sun peeking from behind the fluffy clouds, and only the seemingly sudden outburst of green in the city reminds everyone of the few rainy days.

'Tony,' Steve whispers the name, so that no one but Tony himself hears it, 'can I – could I move in with you? With Nate, I mean? Not completely, maybe, but… a bit? If that makes sense?'

Tony takes a moment to decide if it does and he's still not sure when he says, 'Yeah, sure you can.' But then he takes a breath and asks, 'I thought living with the team is a big thing? That's why Peter is supposed to move in in a few weeks?'

'I just need a break,' Steve says, the words heavier than Tony would have expected. 'I want to be as close to you as I can – and I need a break.'

'Anytime, then,' Tony tries to keep his voice cheerful, ignoring the unspoken words, and wonders silently what is Steve trying to run away from this time.

A/N: Thanks for everyone who faved/followed the story, and especially to those amazing beings who leave me reviews, it's the most precious thing you can do :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that maybe it answered some of your questions.

There will be 4 more chapters of Again come the morning, if you're interested :)