Again come the morning bonus

Happy misses Tony.

Already.

(There is no logic to that, of course, since he's still the person Tony spends most time with, but the man is simply so much, he's a force of the universe, and Happy knows perfectly how gaping the hole inside him will be when he won't be hearing Tony's voice every damn day.)

He didn't feel like that when Tony told him he had cancer, saying the word aloud as it if was the first time ever, with unsure fear only Happy could pichak up – it came later. When he was sitting by Tony's bed in hospital, watching the unconscious fragile man, already informed of what happened and knowing that in a few hours, in a few minutes maybe, he'll be one of the people telling Tony it's terminal.

Doc categorically forbade him to panic or cry or anything like that, you have to stay damn strong for this idiot, someone has to, he said.

Happy listened to him and so far, he's succeeded.

He's always there, making food, scolding, patching Tony up, making him go to sleep, handing him water when he throws up, making sure he has his medicine; he's always there talking, listening, being a silent presence. Even when he isn't there physically, JARVIS always keeps him updated.

Tony probably knows but he's never said anything so it's just another unspoken thing between them. Tony would tell Happy to stop hovering over so much and Happy would laugh and refuse, so the actual confrontation is unnecessary.

Happy is angry a lot.

There are meetings with Pepper and Rhodey and Doc, and a few people Happy knows in New York, and they notice he's angry but no one but Pepper dares to mention it.

'He's pushing himself too hard,' he tells her over a drink one early spring evening, 'and I'm letting him because there isn't any other way with him.'

'Tell me about it,' she murmurs, and then she taker her phone out of her purse and frowns. 'Remember Nata– Agent Romanov?'

'Obviously,' Happy rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his gin tonic.

'She's been around a few times, forwarding messages from Director Fury, and we've been –talking, I guess,' Pepper informs him, swirling her martini, the frown still on, as if she wasn't sure of what she's saying. 'She texted me asking if I'd like to go out for a drink.'

'Didn't expect you to you hang out with the crowd –'

'Fury is stubborn,' Pepper admits with a sigh and gestures at the barman to bring her the bill, 'Not that I'm telling him anything, he already knows too much. But we know he knows so that's good – I should probably stop here, sorry. A long day.'

'Board meeting?'

'You'd know how terrible they are. Bet Tony ranted about them so much.'

'He did,' Happy admits fondly, and then, 'just tell her to come and join us somewhere. I've mostly disappeared to the whole world but it won't be strange only Stark's buddies meet to catch up and things, right? Even if Widow is a great spy.'

Natasha comes over, her hair messy and the black dress hugging her figure, and they have surprisingly good time.

Of course it's a dangerous game, she's Iron Man's teammate and a superspy and Happy has to think about ten times before he says anything remotely relatable to Tony, but they end up talking about other things instead, after a few typical questions about how is Happy doing in his new job.

He can tell Natasha would threaten Tony – Nate – if he did something wrong with Steve, he knows she's a distanced assassin and a mystery, he knows she could take him out in less than three seconds, and somehow that only makes him more fascinated.

People don't know, and if they do they usually forget, that Happy can be dangerous. Not in the way S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and superheroes are, but in a way someone fiercely protective of friend is, in a way someone with access to everything Tony is. He'll have his own a suit of armor, he knows Tony well enough to be sure of that – he'll be making use of it and training. He has knowledge about Stark Industries, insights into the company that is avant-garde of the world.

He has JARVIS, too.

JARVIS likes him, he's always had, because he knows there is hardly anyone who both knows and cares about Tony as much as Happy himself.

(There was a life he had, once, before he met Tony in a shady place in a shady time, and laughed in his face. Tony loved that, drunk as he was, and offered him a job. Happy just rolled his eyes, in a manner Tony will become familiar with later, and ended up being very surprised by a phone call the next morning, the voice of a hangover billionaire saying the offer still stands.

Happy is pretty sure he has nothing to go back to.)

He has almost nothing but here and now, taking care of a certain genius idiot – Tony urges him to do things that don't involve him, so that you have a life when I die, he says and ignores Happy's scowl.

'Almost nothing,' Tony repeats when they talk, one evening, trying to avoid Happy's gaze as he tries to wordlessly make Tony eat his pudding. 'Almost? You mean your collection of scraps and stuff about me, is that your legacy thing or something?'

Happy laughs sharply.

'It's complicated,' he says. It really is. He's only ever exchanged a few phone calls with Natasha and he still isn't quite sure they were real, despite JARVIS insistence.

'Don't quote facebook on me –'

'I met Black Widow the other day, you know. I didn't tell you,' he ignores Tony's disbelievingly curious stare, heavy on his back. 'A couple weeks ago, she seems to be Pepper's badass women relax over martinis buddy. We all talked. Then Pepper left and we both talked and then she called. I don't even know, don't give me that look, I don't even have a fucking idea –'

It's Tony's turn to laugh. (The funny thing, he maybe should be more worried or more surprised or at least ask questions, but he doesn't. That's one thing about the new Tony.)

'It is complicated,' he agrees when he calms down.

'Told you so,' Happy chuckles darkly, pretending he doesn't notice how laughter makes his boss hurt.

They go on a date, Tony insists calling it a date, but it's just a dinner. Old fashioned, maybe, but it came easily and naturally to make the decision so they both agreed to go with it.

'You seem like you miss Stark,' she says halfway over the first course, when he recounts one of their early stories.

'I do,' he agrees with sincerity that makes her face soften a tiniest bit; he's surprised he can even notice that. Maybe because he's looking very hard for clues.

That is when he realized he does miss Tony.

Already.

He shrugs a little, making the sudden cold that washed over him go away, and steers the conversation different way. It's… pleasant. It's a different kind of a date than he's ever imagined but it feels all right, even when he thinks about how many people Natasha must have killed in her line of work.

Natasha has known he knows she's Black Widow from the beginning. It's a Pepper thing; Pepper seems to be weirdly familiar with Fury and she knows things. So Happy, in extension, is apparently S.H.I.E.L.D.-approved to know things, too.

'I could teach you a few neat tricks,' she offers.

Happy is about to reply when he hears JARVIS voice in the tiny comm unit in his ear, so he excuses himself and listens to the A.I.'s voice telling him Tony and Steve are talking while pretending to use the bathroom. He's torn between congratulating them and going back to damn step between those two, if only they raise their voices; he knows Tony wouldn't want him to be involved though.

So he stays and buys Natasha chocolate fondant and they share the cake with dessert wine and then spend a few night hours in S.H.I.E.L.D.-approved deserted gym.

Happy comes back sometime before sunrise, smiling like a madman and trying to stop himself from doing so. There is no point in going to bed now, since it's already almost-morning, so he fixes himself a big cup of coffee and catches up with yesterday's news and a bit of a boring book he's been reading.

Then he meets Steve and the first thing he tells Captain America is, in a cheerful off-handed voice, 'if you hurt him I will make sure you pay for it and I don't care you're America's hope or whatever.'

It feels like the right thing to do, especially since Natasha will surely do that to Tony. Well, to Nate, but whatever.

'You must be Happy,' Steve says, rubbing his eyes. He's adorable, Happy decides.

'Don't feel bad about calling me that ridiculous name, I've become fond of it since Tony insists,' he offer and then makes Steve coffee, too. 'I heard you resolved a few things yesterday.'

'JARVIS?' Steve asks, eying the ceiling, and when Happy nods, adds, 'We did resolve a few things. And then JARVIS answered all the questions I had – the medical questions.'

Happy nods sharply.

'… I like you,' he declares after a short pause, pointing a finger at Steve, 'Don't fucking dare to disappoint me. Or Tony. And help me make pancakes. He likes pancakes.'

Tony will never cease to make his life damn impossible.

Happy remembers a bit too well those few days when Tony came back to Malibu, after hearing the diagnosis, and cried for real for the first and last time Happy has ever seen. He can't stop thinking about that every time he sees Tony suit up, firm determination on his face.

Cap is just starting to learn that look.

All that can be done when Steve starts being around more and going to the clinic with Tony is stock up the fridge with cauliflower soup and blueberry jell-o, and then look from distance. Happy is glad there is someone to look at Tony the way no one has ever done before, the way that makes him smile knowing Tony will be safe.

Cap has to learn that, too: Tony doesn't care about getting hurt. Not-hurt and safe aren't the same states so Tony keeps going to missions and coming back hurt, Happy hates it but contrary to everyone else he doesn't really say anything.

Boss wouldn't be himself if he didn't keep pushing.

Natasha does tell Nate to be careful around Steve.

Happy laughs when JARVIS – his second-best buddy – informs him of that and it makes him feel nicely warm inside to know he predicted Natasha's next move right.

They meet up afterwards and Happy is damn proud of his acting abilities, even after a few drinks.

Maybe it's the few drinks or maybe it's just the strange and amazing way life if, but he takes initiative and kisses Natasha. She obviously enjoys it. They don't take it further because it doesn't feel right, and Happy feels like he needs to go back home and try to put Tony to sleep before tomorrow's meeting.

There is more meetings, divided between JARVIS and Tony, then fights not enough divided between JARVIS and Tony, but Steve has the primary right to worry now since he's the boyfriend, or whatever. It doesn't make Happy worry less. He's spent the last ten years worrying and learning to read things no one else can read, no one.

He lets Tony have his way more times than anyone else would. Because. He says thing pro forma but when Tony mentions that he doesn't have time, Happy lets him go.

After the few hours Happy spends flying with Tony and Rhodey, he gets drunk for the first time in months; he can let himself do that as Tony spends the evening in the big workshop with Steve.

(Happy knows he's being overly-everything even though he doesn't cry. Rhodey is the guy who gets him the best; he's been taking care of Tony for decades.)

Basically, they share a bit of a breakdown and a bit of unmanly crying because they both notice too much they wished they didn't, and while they're happy that Tony is as happy as i gets, they want him forever.

'All my life has been about him,' Rhodey says after eighth drink, the words slightly slurred and round around the edges.

'He sucks you in like a fuckin' black hole,' Happy agrees, raising a glass. JARVIS seems to hum in agreement, or maybe he's just imagining.

It's even more obvious when they're all wrapped around Tony when he's feeling sick and weak and insists he's fine. Even the bots know better and he knows they know. It fucking breaks Happy's heart to see Tony set his dignity and attitude aside and lay down and let them comfort him.

Happy goes and spends the day shadowing Doc, stealing every moment the man can spare between his patients' visits to talk about Tony.

They discuss pain meds over pasta and Happy doesn't even think how this became his life, then he meets Natasha in a restaurant and they eat mostly in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts, it seems, both seemingly too tired to care. Knowing that Steve is with Tony, Happy lets Natasha invite him to a surprisingly non-S.H.I.E.L.D. apartment and then they fall asleep on the sofa before anything could happen.

She's not there in the morning; the note says there was an urgent mission. Happy understands urgent missions better than he'd like to.

A few days later Tony says Steve is going to move in and Happy isn't sure how to feel about that. He's glad, of course he is, but it complicates things: while Steve and Natasha are friends, even with endless secrets between them, they don't know the same things and trying to figure it all out gives Happy an honest headache.

Well.

'He'll be great around you, boss,' Happy tells Tony over a snack, 'but I'll miss being your only one,' he adds teasingly. Tony chuckles weakly and gives him half-cocky, half-apologetic look.

Happy misses it already. It makes a fucking hollow feeling paralyze him from the inside.

Tony seems oblivious.

Whatever life Happy might be starting to, somehow, build these days, he won't even be able to imagine Tony not being there.

(Until.)

A/N: Just a little thing this time, but I hope you enjoyed the different POV and a bit of introspection. Feedback is always very very loved :) (and I'd love to hear what other characters you'd be interested in reading, too!)