Chapter XVIII
Di was sitting on the White Lady, her head leaning across the tree's trunk, her eyes closed, a soft smile spreading on her lips and a thick book in her lap. The summer breeze was softly brushing her red curls, and the sound of leaves moving around her made her feel as if nothing else existed in the world, just her and the summer breeze. It was the second week of July, the weather was perfect and Di felt like a real Queen, just in that very moment. But the Di from just an hour earlier was quite different.
Earlier that day, Di wasn't as peaceful and as happy as she was in that moment. She had an argument with her own self, and later with Nan about Di's wedding and the preparations for it. Di's wedding was supposed to take place in just over a week's time and she still didn't choose her wedding dress, she decided that she would wear her Mother's old veil but she still had no idea about her dress, the most important thing a bride should mostly think about in order to plan out her wedding, and the thing which should excite her most.
Di didn't know why and how was that possible but she simply couldn't find a dress in which she could picture herself while getting married to Robert. Everything apart from this wedding dress was prepared, the food was slowly getting made by nervous Susan, the official invitations were supposed to be sent in a day's time and Robert bought a train ticket to Glen for Saturday, so just four days from that day. But "the wedding dress" was Di's major problem and she was spending hours in the two shops in town in order to buy it. But not even one dress was close to perfection, and in Di's, and any other bride's for that matter, mind a wedding dress must be simply perfect.
Di was extremely busy even though she had no lessons to teach, she had a lot of planning and thinking to do too. She and Robert still hadn't decided whether they would want their wedding to take place in Rainbow Valley or a church and that was another matter for Di to be worried about concerning the fact that she was to be married in nine days.
Nan came over to Ingleside in the morning and asked Di to come with her to Bright River the next day in order to buy the dress, eventually, but Di refused her proposition and said that she wouldn't go to Bright River just to buy a dress. That was the reason of her fight with Nan and after it, Nan took her hat and went back to her home, leaving Di with their Mother who tried her best to cheer her daughter up, and she succeed, not entirely but a little at least.
That's how Di ended up with a book in her lap, her hair messy and her very own self sitting on White Lady's branch with her closed eyes and dreamy expression on her face. She needed just one hour rest and she didn't know it, but she would need it more than ever especially for the day that had already begun.
"Di! What are you doing up there?"
Di opened her eyes quickly and saw Carl sprinting in her direction with a funny smile on his lips "Oh, Carl you startled me!" she exclaimed although her face was still a picture of joyfulness.
"I'm sorry if I did, madam." he replied cheerfully and when Di put her hand towards him, he took it gently and helped her to get down off the tree "What were you doing up there? Isn't ground satisfying enough to read a book?" he asked her with a raised brow as they started their usual walk across the Rainbow Valley.
Di chuckled "If you already know that I was reading a book, then why do you ask what I was doing?" she asked him and then added softly "Besides, the ground can't be satisfying enough when you know that you can climb a tree and read a book between its branches instead."
Carl grinned at her "I was just teasing, of course the ground isn't satisfying enough." he said and then looked more deeply into Di's eyes "Is something wrong, Di? Your lips are smiling but your eyes definitely aren't." he said.
Di grinned weakly at him and stopped walking under the shadow of a cherry tree "Yes, there is something wrong." she told him eventually and sighed heavily "I don't know what's wrong with me Carl, I can't buy my own wedding dress and my wedding is going to take place in nine days! I mean, this is not how a bride should behave, is it? Oh, I don't know what's wrong with me, Carl!" she exclaimed and sighed heavily again.
Carl's cheeks flushed with red and his eyes started to twinkle, although his expression remained serious "There's nothing wrong with you, Di." he said, his hands shaking from nerves "Nothing." he repeated and Di looked at him worriedly.
"Why are you so shaky, Carl, I am a bad friend, is something troubling you?" she asked him, her eyes looking in his own with fear that there was something very nerve-wracking Carl's soul.
Carl grinned at her lightly and took her hands in his "You see Di, I came here today because I wanted to ask you something, and I thought that I would ask you later or maybe some other day but I think that I should just ask you now." he gulped.
Di frowned "What is it?" she questioned him.
"Don't marry Robert." he said eventually, and he breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he said the name of his rival.
Di withdrew her hands from his own and looked at him seriously "How can you ask me such a thing?" she exclaimed, her own cheeks flushing with bright red from anger which was entering her heart.
"Because I love you, Diana Ruby Blythe." Carl shouted out almost, reaching for her hands again.
Di was so astonished that she let him take her shaking hands in his own trembling ones and her lips parted a bit, as she stared at him helplessly. She studied Carl's face, his lips which just said those few words which she feared most in this world, his blue eyes which were somehow aflame, his eyebrows which were moving as he tried to figure out what she was thinking about.
In a blink of an eye, Di realised what Carl just said to her and that her hands were being tightly held in his. She took them away and looked at him furiously "You… you… love me?" she repeated after him, in something which could be hardly described as a whisper.
Carl stepped forward "Yes, I do." he replied shakily "I always did."
"This is not right, Carl, this is definitely not right." Di said more to herself than to the man who was standing next to her.
"Di, you see for yourself that you can't even think properly about your wedding to Robert." he said passionately "You see that yourself! Did it ever occur to you that you two might not be "meant to be"?" he asked her.
Di hit him in the arm "How dare you say such a thing to me!" she shouted and then laughed mockingly "You don't even know Robert!"
"I've seen him enough to know." Carl replied coldly "But Di, you musn't marry him, he's not the man for you. Maybe he is a romantic type of person, and a wealthy man at that, but please just think whether this kind of man can make you happy?" he asked her in despair.
Di clenched her fists "Yes, he would." she said through her teeth "Oh, why did you have to tell me that you love me? It's the worst thing you could ever do!" she told him, her eyes filling up with tears as she started turning around, ready to run back home.
Carl, as if he could read her mind, quickly took her hand in his again "Di, I love you and you can't blame me for that. I just do, as simply and plainly as it sounds, but that's the truth." he said to her tenderly.
"What about Rosalind?" she asked him suddenly.
Carl sighed "I will never love her as much as I love you." he answered her wistfully "But if you will marry your Mr Robert Keats, I have to marry someone too, or I shall go mad with fury and... heartbreak." he looked deeply into her eyes again and he didn't have to say any other thing for Di could read it all in his longing eyes.
Di withdrew her hands again and looked away "But I can't love you, not in the way you want me to anyway." she said rather sadly, her eyes still teary.
"I think you can, you just don't want to." Carl murmured and before Di realised it he turned her around and kissed her hard and strong on the lips.
She was so shocked that she couldn't move for the first few seconds. Di was actually very much surprised how good of a kisser Carl was. This kiss was nothing like she would expect it to be. It was quick but it was meaningful and in a way, familiar, although Di didn't know why she though it to be familiar for Robert had never kissed her like this ever before.
As soon as the thought of Carl being a "good kisser" crossed her mind, she pulled away and slapped him across the face, leaving a faint red hand-print on his cheek. Carl wasn't surprised at all, and the fact that he wasn't only caused Di to be even more furious with him "How dare you kiss me?!" she exclaimed and when Carl opened his mouth to say something she cut him off "No, I will speak now. Carl, I can't take it anymore, I just can't. Not now when I know… this." she breathed out "I'm going back home and don't follow me." she said sternly, turned around and started to run back home as fast as she could, leaving Carl breathless, confused and most importantly and sadly, broken-hearted.
Di came back to Ingleside, her cheeks wet and red, her eyes as wild, shocked and confused as never before and her small hands shaking nervously. Anne was in the kitchen when Di entered the room and immediately, even without asking, she enveloped Di in her loving and understanding arms. Di cried out all of her worries, doubts, anger, sadness, hopes, dreams and disappointments. Anne listened carefully to everything her oldest daughter told her about what happened just a few minutes earlier but also all about her thoughts she didn't share with her earlier although they were always there, in Di's head.
Eventually, when Di closed her trembling lips and all of her tears were shed, no more were left, Di asked her Mother a question so hard she would never forget even the tone in which she asked it "Mother, do you think that… I should refuse Robert?"
Anne looked at her daughter with pride in her eyes, as although she was broken-hearted that Di was in such distress, she was proud of her that she was making this decision, a decision which sometimes is the hardest a person will ever make in his or her life. "Darling, can you picture your wedding, your house in Ottawa, your teaching career in a different school and your future with Robert standing by your side through everything, the good and bad?" Anne held Di's hands in hers and looked into her eyes "Can you picture it all in your mind?"
Di looked at her Mother's eyes for a while, trying her very hardest to achieve the aim Anne just set in front of her, really trying to picture her whole life with Robert at her side. After a while, she looked at her and Anne's hands embraced together and she chuckled sadly "No, I can't picture it all, Mum." she whispered.
Anne sighed heavily and squeezed Di's hands. She put her hand under Di's chin and lifted up her head to her level. Di's eyes were filled with a new wave of fresh tears but those gray eyes which in that moment were almost as green as the dress she wore, those eyes were certain and sure of her decision, although Di's mouth wouldn't say them outloud yet. "Then you know what to do, sweetheart." Anne told her warmly "I must tell you, darling, that it is a very hard and difficult decision to make, but I believe that everything you will ever do is for your best and that's why I will always support you, dear." she smiled at her, her gray eyes, the same shade as Di's, turning teary.
Di smiled back at her Mother "And so, because you believe in me so much, as you always did, I will call Robert right now and tell him right away that I will send the engagement ring back to him today." she said sternly, not even looking at her diamond ring which was peacefully resting on her finger. A new and stronger woman called Diana Blythe stood up from her chair and marched to the telephone in the hallway with a heavy heart but a made-up mind.
Anne sat deeper in her chair and for the first time in her life she was glad that no one else, apart from herself and Di, was in the house. Her husband was on the call, and Susan went to town to shop for groceries. Anne put her right hand on her left and sighed again. She could feel the prayer passing through her body, like she always knew she would one day, and all she thought about in the next twenty minutes was about her hope for that prayer to become a reality for her daughter as she couldn't stand how one of her children, was so unhappy, and so dissatisfied with life.
She didn't hear a word Di said to the receiver in the hallway, the only thing she could hear was a soft chirruping outside the window at which she was looking and she smiled when she heard Di's footsteps coming from the hallway, right back to the chair she left those twenty minutes earlier. Anne looked at Di who sat back next to her. It was a different Di, her face wasn't swollen anymore, her cheeks weren't burning, her eyes weren't aflame, in front of Anne stood a new young woman with a brighter, worry-less life in front of her.
Di took her Mother's hands in hers, she took a deep breath and grinned, weakly, but lightly at the same time "I think that I've broken hearts of two men I love most in this world." she said eventually and slowly "One, the one I've been engaged to, will never speak to me again, and the second, the one who loved me even before I knew that he did, will do everything in his power to win my heart." she then looked back in her Mother's eyes "But… even though my own heart is a little bit broken itself, I feel like I can mend it."
Anne kissed her daughter's cheek tenderly, her eyes smiling and laughing at the same time "Don't feel it only, darling Di," she said as she put Di in her arms, and Di started to tremble again "-believe in it, too."