If die, only in Manhattan (part 1)

When Tony wakes up, Pepper and Rhodey are still asleep and he can hear remote clinging of crockery from outside the 'shop, which means Happy is already there. It looks like it's just a few minutes after sunrise so Tony makes an effort to sneak out of the bed unnoticed; not everyone is as good with little sleep as he is.

'Morning,' he mutters to Happy when he's closed the door behind himself, running a hand through his messy hair. 'Cocoa?' he adds with wonder, taking in the sweet chocolaty scent.

'Much better,' Happy declares, holding up a small cup and raising an eyebrow. Tony makes his way across the room and when he takes a sip, he smiles with pleasure; it's an espresso with some dark chocolate dropped into it, melting slowly at the bottom.

'I probably shouldn't,' Tony notes, sipping the rest of the coffee.

'You might need it today.'

'Ha. I might, no?' Tony half-agrees, glancing at the 24 hours news feed Happy was watching on mute. They seem to be overusing his name but that's only to be expected.

'You planning anything for today, boss?'

'I should meet the team. We'll see how everything else goes. They're possibly going to be a little mad at me –'

'As expected.'

'Of course,' Tony agrees with a scoff. It's understandable. To be honest, he kind of needs it, as a reminder. 'I'm not sure we'll have time and patience for any press today.'

'Or anytime soon,' Happy mumbles, taking the empty cup from Tony's hand, and adds, 'And Stane?'

'Him,' Tony closes his eyes for a briefest moment, 'I'll know when it's the right time for him.'

The look Happy gives him is almost scary.

Steve is at the door when Tony gets to the Avengers HQ, Tony walks up to him quickly, pretending that he hasn't just been pacing two blocks away and gathering courage to actually cross the street and walk the two hundred meters.

'Hello, Tony,' Ijon greets him in a cheerful voice, 'how are you on this fine day?'

Tony blinks.

It's right, it actually is a beautiful day, early sunlight warming up the city in the preparation of a perfect Indian summer day, bathing the glass and brownstone in soft glow. He hasn't noticed before, walking the streets with his head down and on autopilot.

'Hello,' he replies.

The pavements are still radiating cold from the chilly night, though.

'Everyone in?' he adds, looking questioningly at Steve's messy hair and rumpled t-shirt.

'Peter isn't. We're having breakfast.'

'Team breakfast?'

'Just quick breakfast. Less washing up. They're finishing.'

'You have machines for washing up,' Tony points out and swallows, glancing past Steve at the shady corridor.

'We try to save the worlds from villains on regular basis, it seems right to care about the environment or we won't have anything to save,' Steve declares in a lecturing tone, making Tony snicker, and then leans closer and adds, 'my little idiot.'

'Steve!' Tony pretends to be annoyed but still leans into Steve's arms a little bit more. 'Sorry I'm keeping you hungry, then.'

'I ate earlier –

'Of course you did.'

Steve scratches the top of his head goofily and lets go of Tony, asking, 'Did you sleep well?'

'Fine,' Tony grins, thinking about the mess of limbs and pillows he woke up amidst. 'Quite fine, thank you.'

They stand in silence for a long moment, Tony unsure what to do and Steve waiting for him to make up his mind. Tony feels bad about this whole deal, about lying to his teammates for so long in more ways than one; it's a different situation than with Pepper and Rhodey, back then: the Avengers know Tony is dying. He just has to explain everything else.

'Fury?'

'He'll probably appear out of nowhere at some point, unannounced. Hermes seems to have a bad influence on Ijon sometimes.'

'Oh boy,' Tony sighs and takes Steve's hand, leading him inside. 'Families stick together, huh?'

The doors close themselves and suddenly, there is a voice behind, saying, 'We do, don't we?'

'Peter,' Steve greets the young man, frowning slightly. Peter comes up to Tony and pokes him on the arm, frowning slightly, and then takes two steps backwards.

'Tony, my man,' Peter says, ignoring Steve, 'how's life treating you?'

'Not too bad,' Tony replies; it's true enough, all things considered. 'You?'

Peter pouts.

'What is it this time?'

'You're in all the news, papers, tv, national, international, everywhere,' Peter points out, sounding hurt, and wraps his arms on his chest. Steve gasps behind Tony, but he ignores it. 'Spider Man has never had that. I'm jealous.'

'Fuck you, kid,' Tony says with just a bit of affection in his voice, taking the two steps between them and ruffling Peter's already messy hair. 'Ignore that, Stevie,' he adds and whispers to Peter, 'sorry I pressed you to do tell them, back then. It's plain strange to not pretend all of sudden.'

'Just smile, Iron Man.'

'Clap and smile,' Tony agrees, nodding, and makes a face. 'Lesson learned, huh?'

'I do take advice from the best,' Peter declares and a second later he's halfway through the hall. 'Do keep up, old men,' he laughs and disappears into the conference room; Tony can smell the good coffee well enough.

'Did he –'

'Yes, he said that, you should know better than take it seriously. Also, give him some slack, ok? He's just a kid. It's tough for him.'

'And it's not for us?'

'In a different way,' Tony admits, making an isn't it obvious? face, and starts to walk down the hall.

'He looks up to you,' Steve says quietly, standing still.

Tony scoffs, thinking about the wonder in Peter's voice that's there all the time when they're working together, and thinking about Riverside kids, and chooses not to think about it.

Steve doesn't.

'You'd be a good dad,' he says, and it makes Tony stop abruptly and turn around. He gives Steve a sharp look and waits for him to walk closer.

'You can't just say things like that,' he states firmly, clenching his hands into fists inside his pockets. 'You know, just randomly. I can't even say kids and I don't go along because you know about Riverside, but kids and me don't go along, so well, and I don't want you to say next thing that you want to have a kid with me –'

'What?'

'– A biological mixture of our DNA or just a small copy of me, I'd die before it was born, it'd be hell of an awful thing to do to someone –'

'Tony,' Steve cuts in, putting his hand on Tony's shoulder and giving him a delicate squeeze. 'You're being ridiculous here.'

'That's what some people do, you know. Breed before they die for the sake of their loved ones, or whatever.'

'… People really do that?' Steve asks with a mixture of wonder and surprise in his voice. Tony nods. 'Oh hell.'

'Maybe it works for them,' Tony shrugs, ignoring how warm Steve's hand feels.

'This century is darn strange,' Steve mutters, and then adds, in a no-nonsense voice, 'but we're not here for that.'

Tony nods and they make way to the end of the hall and turn right; Tony sneaks through the half-open doors and frowns as soon as he takes it in; there is neither Spider Man nor most of the team inside. He looks over his shoulder but judging from Steve's surprised face, he didn't know about this either.

'I though we all were meeting?' he half-states, half ask, directing it at Natasha who is painting her nails without looking up. It's just her and Bruce in the room.

'They'll be here later,' she says easily, and then bites her lip in concentration. Tony would think it's funny if he wasn't busy wondering what's really going on. 'Steve?'

'Yes?'

'Can you leave us alone?'

'I… uhm, I guess,' he says when Tony gives him a small nod, and leaves the room back into the hall. Tony decides to go with the flow and sits down in one of the cushioned chairs, stretching out his legs and crossing ankles.

'So?'

'That one time, back after Manhattan battle, when we were cleaning up,' Bruce says, his voice a little tight. He clears his throat before continuing, 'you said you were just tired. Like all of us.'

'I was.'

'I asked you –'

'Are you annoyed because I lied to you? Because I didn't lie. I was tired,' Tony says, glancing between Bruce and Natasha. She's almost done; Tony wonders which look she'll give him when she finally tears her eyes away from her hands.

'No, no, of course, I understand. We were… asked, to talk about business with you, before everything else.'

'You and business, Bruce? Et tu?' Tony questions, sighing internally, and adds, 'why not Agent?'

'Phil is at HQ with Fury, talking to some big guys over the world who are questioning S.H.I.E.L.D.'s collective sanity,' Natasha replies, pocketing the nail polish bottle, and gives him a full blank stare. Nice one. 'Regarding letting Tony Stark save the world.'

'Funny, that,' Tony mutters drily.

'You know how it is with that kind of men. Even if you know you have them in your pocket, you still have to pretend you care,' she replies smoothly, conversationally, in the way she's been talking with Nate since she made sure he wouldn't hurt Steve, her almost-best friend. Tony is somehow surprised that she'd not suddenly treating him like he's sure she would treat Tony Stark, if she met him some before the disappearance. That's a silly assumption but he made it anyway –

'It's because you were taught the wrong things about people, when you were a kid and later,' she continues, eyes still on him, as if she was reading his mind. 'And you've lived them for too long.'

'A lecture?' he smirks, true Stark style, leaning back in the chair.

'I know you have access to our databases and you know this: most of my life has been pretending to be someone else. I wouldn't want someone to treat me as one of the aliases.'

'But this is not an alias anymore. Not a game –'

'Isn't it?' she asks, a quick flash Tony can't identify in her eyes. She turns to Bruce and nods at him, waving her hands to help the polish dry more quickly.

'So, the business –'

'Yeah?'

'To be honest, it's just one question,' Bruce says sheepishly, glancing quickly at the papers in front of him. 'And I wanted to ask it personally. In the light of what you revealed yesterday, uhm, the tech –'

'S.H.I.E.L.D.'s got what it's got,' Tony declares, sitting up a bit; it's easier to breathe with his back straight. 'Peter will be in charge of all that.'

'Peter –'

'You can help, but I do trust him with it.'

'I wasn't going to imply you don't,' a faint grimace flashes though Bruce's face, 'no one silly enough to question it?'

'Dying man's privilege,' Tony laughs shortly, ignoring Natasha's sharp look, 'people let you do what you want. Peter and I, we've worked together enough, and he has some nerve, he'll keep S.H.I.E.L.D. in check.'

'As…?'

'Spiderman, of course.'

Bruce frowns, but there's a little grin crawling onto his lips.

'Imagine the tech business meeting with Spidey in his costume and a suit over it –'

'Don't encourage him,' Bruce pleads seriously enough, but he can't stop himself from an amused chuckled. 'But he'll do it, won't he?'

'And it's exactly what we need when I won't be around to make a mess of international news,' Tony agrees; it's so smooth these days, and saying death and die and all the euphemisms is getting easier and easier.

Natasha sighs deeply and stands up, saying, 'I'll get the rest away from nibbling on the snacks,' and she disappears behind the door silently.

'Pleasure to meet you in person, Doctor Stark,' Bruce says when she's gone, extending his hand over the table, and Tony raises an eyebrow at it. He stands and walks up across the table.

'You too, Big Guy. Doctor Banner,' he corrects himself innocently, wrapping his hand around Bruce's, and pats Bruce on the back. There is a long moment of silence, interrupted only by Tony's soft footsteps as he paces around the table.

When they start hearing voices from the corridor, remote and echoing, Bruce clears his throat again and asks, 'So, I'm not that kind of a doctor, but is there nothing…'

'Nope. If there was, do you I think I'd be here?'

'You would,' Peter's voice comes from outside, of course, super-hearing, at least Steve is more subtle about his better senses, ''cause you love us!'

'Now I very much hate you.'

'You're joking,' Peter says hurtfully, opening the door, the rest of the team behind him. Peter is dressed in his work clothes, sans the mask, and stuffs his face with whatever is in the bowl he's holding. Looks like M&M's.

'Maybe I am,' Tony cuts the mock-argument by sitting down and starting to unbutton his shirt, he looks up at Steve three buttons in and gets a slight nod. They sit down around the table, politely ignoring Tony's unexplained behavior; Clint puts the cups he was holding in his hands in front of everyone. His circus upbringing must help him with tricks like carrying six scalding hot items at once with perfect ease, Tony decides.

'So, no one is surprised by my revealed identity?' he looks at their half-guarded faces, nods to himself. 'Steve talked with you all about this, didn't he? I guess that makes some things a bit easier. What did he say, don't ask about everything at once? He's still the same person?' he raises an eyebrow at Steve who shrugs innocently.

Funny, really.

'I wasn't too forthcoming at the conference yesterday,' Tony says, shifting in his chair. 'Contrary to what some people believe, even as Tony Stark I like to preserve some privacy. Even if it might not seem like that,' he starts when his latte is put in front of him, he ignores his internal voice commenting on how he'd love a proper coffee. 'Bruce here just asked me if I'm sure there's nothing that can be done. And you know, we saved the world together a few times, I trust you guys, and I think I owe you some answers. For all those lies. Sorry for that.'

'Nate – Tony –'

'No, Clint. I do owe you some answers. And I do want to say I'm sorry, it wasn't easy to pull that whole thing off, and not only because it's complicated to lead two different lives,' Tony pauses, his hands playing with the last button, as they have a moment to read into what he didn't say. 'It's cholangiocarcinoma. Bile duct cancer. Hard to spot, tough to treat. A real rarity.'

'How long have you –'

'I've had the first tumor removed and started my treatment by the time Iron Man made his introductory speech on TV,' he replies, leaning back in the chair, keeping his clothes wrapped around his chest.

They gasp collectively.

Tony gives himself points for Natasha's stare.

'What?'

'I thought it was a more… recent thing,' Clint mutters. Peter's staring, Tony realizes it might have been a good idea to mention that earlier. 'And that it's why you'd come out…'

'I had fun pretending everything was fine,' Tony says, and finds himself adding, although he's not sure why, 'at least outside of home.'

'It's been almost three years,' Natasha mutters, giving Bruce a quick glance that Tony doesn't fail to notice. Bruce might not be that kind of a doctor, but he sometimes is, when the team needs him.

'I got my diagnosis in autumn, and had the surgery soon after that –'

'The months after you came back from Afghanistan,' Clint points out. Tony closes his eyes, breathes out, in, out.

'Yeah, a couple months after I came back, we noticed something was wrong. Me and JARVIS,' he clarifies, remembering that not everyone takes JARVIS for the most obvious part of every 'we' that doesn't involve Steve. 'The first surgery went great, and the adjuvant treatment afterwards, too.'

He takes a sip of the latte, tasty enough, and goes back to fiddling with the hems of his cuffs.

'So it's recurrent?'

'Yeah.'

'Recurrent tumors are usually harder to treat,' Bruce explains, rubbing his temples. 'Sorry,' he adds. Tony blinks and then laughs. 'Uhm?...'

'Don't say sorry, Tony hates it when you say sorry, especially that it's not your fault,' Ijon speaks up, making everyone but Tony flinch.

'Thank you, dear,' Tony says firmly, looking up to cross eyes with the nearest camera over the table, 'let the adults talk. And yes, it was unresectable. They gave me a number, an estimation. That was almost two years ago now. They said two to three years –' he ignores them again, looking somewhere behind Steve's head, face blurry and out of focus, because it's a safe spot, '– my doctor said just recently, less than half a year, they think. They don't really know, but they think,' he laughs a little bit too bitterly, ignoring Steve's wince somewhere in his field of vision. 'This complicates things,' he adds, opening his shirt, taking the masking cap off, and letting them see the reactor.

He's made sure not to let more people than absolutely necessary know about it, and he's never talked about it or anything similar – why would he, not being Stark – so it takes them a moment of total silence to take it in.

'Arc reactor,' Bruce and Peter say simultaneously.

'Miniaturized,' Bruce adds with wonder, staring openly. It'd make Tony feel self-conscious if he wasn't used to be stared at, in all possible way on the intimate scale, since he was a kid. The metal casing in his chest is not the prettiest thing ever, admittedly, and it seems to stand out more than when he first installed it, because he's skinny now. The scars around it are not better, or the scars from surgeries lower on his abdomen.

He doesn't care though, he could show them off – they're battle scars, in a way. That's what people told him before and it feels right.

'Shrapnel from the ambush,' he explains, tapping on the reactor's blue surface, 'had to keep it out of my heart somehow. Car battery at first, and I tell you, desperation and timelines work pretty well, all things considered. I built the first baby in that cave, it wasn't the best but it did its job.'

'So this device protects your heart?' Thor asks, speaking up for the first time, and Tony flashes him a smile.

'Yeah, it does, but it also complicates other things. Like, treatment options. Not a good life choice to put something inside your chest, if you do have a choice.'

'The casing reaches two inches inside the body, part of sternum and ribcage had to be removed, certain organs, for the last of a better description, rearranged. Lung capacity is down by fifteen percent, the heart –'

'We don't need a full lecture, Ijon, they're already a bit green,' Tony cuts in, looking around. He knows his fingers are playing with the reactor in a subtly protective way but he doesn't feel like he should stop. Steve seems to think so, judging by the look on his face, but Tony ignores it. 'It can be a small problem during surgeries, and any experimental treatment that might be out there,' he nods at Bruce, 'so I stuck to what already is out there to cure me. Didn't work, that happens too often. End of story.'

'So, a transplant –'

'Too risky with this,' he taps the reactor again, 'also, the tumor's extrahepatic, so it wouldn't work. And if you bring up 3D printers, yeah, in five years maybe. The tumor's in the worst place and a printout working artery that can't be connected to my own doesn't seem like a recovery plan to me.'

'I do not know these matters,' Thor frowns, 'we have different ways of dealing with illness in Asgard.'

'I'll tell you all about it,' Tony assures him, making a mental note to arrange a meeting. It'll be a blast, spending time with Thor is always something else. 'Oh,' Tony says, realizing that he hasn't said the other very important thing yet, 'so JARVIS will pilot Iron Man suit from now on. My A.I.,' he clarifies, remembering that not everyone has had the chance to meet J.

There's a pause, again, interrupted only by Peter opening a bag of Cheetos.

Really?

'So, that's it?' Clint asks, leaning over the table to steal the bag from Peter's hands.

'All I wanted to tell you –' he stops, feeling his phone vibrate in the jacket's pocket. 'Sorry,' he says, looking at the screen, there is a text message from Rhodey. He's eavesdropping via JARVIS, of course.

Forgot about me?, the message says. Tony blinks. Ah.

ETA? he types, and the reply comes a second later.

5 min.

'That's it about me dying,' he flashes them a perfect Stark smile, 'and that's not it, in a way, I guess,' he says, pocketing the phone. 'There's something I sent a memo to Fury about, and talked with Steve and he was supposed to talk to you about yesterday.'

'A new member of the team –'

'And we said yes,' Clint finished Natasha's sentence. 'We could use some air force kids on the team. Air force is cool. I'd trust a pilot to fly a suit,' he adds, giving Tony a sly look. Tony pretends to be hurt. He is much better than Rhodey at flying the Marks, years of practice it is.

'Honeybear will be here in a moment. With JARVIS.'

'So we're having a fun morning, guys,' Peter says, folding himself in a way that should be impossible in his chair.

'I'll get James a coffee –'

'We'll come back in a sec,' Tony agrees, standing up, and follows Steve outside. 'Were they mad at me yesterday, watching the press conference?' he asks in a whisper when they're halfway down the hall. Maybe he should run from the room like that, but he needs a breath, and it's meds time, too.

'They were slightly annoyed, I'd say, for a moment. They weren't mad. They were sad, if anything.'

'Ugh,' Tony shivers, taking his little medicine dispenser from a pocket. Steve puts a glass of water in front of him and moves to the coffee machine. 'Hate making people that.'

'They were sad for you, not sad because of you, you know.'

'I know, I know –'

'You don't sound it.'

'Don't go wise old man on me now, please,' Tony sighs, drowns the glass and puts it onto the table. Steve gives him the look.

'How does it feel?' he asks, walking up closer to Tony and wrapping his arms around Tony's waist. 'You look tired.'

'I always look tired, don't I?' Tony brushes it off, leaning into Steve's embrace. 'It feels strange. Maybe because you obviously forbade them asking Stark questions. Or too many of any kind of questions…'

'There will be time,' Steve mumbles and gives Tony a quick kiss. 'You've got lots to deal with for the next few days. I'm sure Pepper has reporters stalking her, and senators, and the public opinion –'

'The internet loves me as much as it hates me.'

'They'd love you more if they knew more, I heard people already saying you should get a Nobel prize for the reactor –'

'No serious talk, Steve, please, as you said we'll be having enough of that,' Tony protests, wriggling out of Steve's embrace and taking a step back.

'Tony?'

The worry is Steve's voice – this is what being Nate did to Tony, he's too easy to read now, and he can't be bothered to put up his public Stark masks.

Tony shakes his head, wishing for the thoughts to go away, and turns around, ready to go back and introduce Rhodey to the team properly, but he might as well tell Steve, because Steve won't let it go now.

'My dear dad never got the prize,' Tony says, knowing that Steve's listening attentively, unmoving. 'When I was a kid, I promised myself I would, so I would be better than him, and would be recognized as better – and so far, I fucked it up. I wasn't better. I got some attention, and recognition, but it's never been enough to make that promise real.'

'You can do it now.'

'Maybe I can,' Tony agrees, a shiver running down his spine. It takes him a few moments to continue. 'Nominations deadline in February 1st. The prize is awarded in October.'

'Ah,' Steve exhales, and says nothing else.

When the silence starts ringing in Tony's ears, he adds, 'There have been instances of it being awarded posthumously.'

'Tony –'

'It's just one prize, though,' Tony says, turning back to face Steve, 'and I want it very much, I've wanted it very much for decades, but I don't care that much. There are things more rewarding than that. The team. Iron Man. Some things Nate's done… And I will get it posthumously, anyway' he adds, smirking.

'I hope you're not talking about a girl,' he hears a voice from the corridor.'

'Platypus!' Tony shouts, making Steve wince. At least he's used to the nicknames by now.

'Ijon said you run out of the team room with Steve,' Rhodey says, appearing in the doorway, and comes up to Tony to give him a brief hug. He's not wearing the suit which makes the embrace rather nice and soft. 'Are they being a pain?'

'I needed to take a breath, and this,' he says, shaking his mini meds box.

'And?'

Steve looks at them briefly, stirring milk into Rhodey's coffee.

'And they're all giving me the look, apart from Peter, but he didhis share yesterday.'

'Idiot,' Rhodey mutters fondly and messes Tony's hair in a brotherly movement that almost makes Tony think Steve's envious, but he understands Tony and Rhodey's relationship too well for that. 'Can we, then?'

'After you,' Tony gestures towards the door, and they go back to the conference room, Rhodey first and Steve at the end, with two mugs in his hands, Tony realizes, he hasn't notices that. One of them is places in front of Rhodey, and the other in front of him' he recognizes the sweet scent of a vanilla nutritional drink; it shouldn't surprise him that Steve checked with JARVIS if Tony had breakfast, which he, admittedly, didn't.

'Colonel James Rhodes, everyone – some of you might be familiar with his name,' Tony looks towards Natasha/Clint corner, they give him sharp nods. 'He's been with the Air Force for over twenty years and has been working managing weapons contracts for the last few months. He also has his own suit, similar to mine, and he's a damn good pilot,' Tony says, winking at Rhodey, who rolls his eyes.

'How do you want to balance between them and us?' Bruce asks, playing with his empty tea mug; Tony can say he's a bit nervous, even though he obviously trusts his teammates not to let the wrong kind of army people be around.

'It's not active duty anymore, just lots of paperwork and teleconferences. I moved back to New York, permanently, when I started the job,' he adds, glancing at Tony.

They seem to get it.

'So, we'll have both an A.I. and an ex-army pilot being Iron Men for us,' Peter concludes, sounding just a tad too happy. 'Sweet.'

'So you're okay with all that?' Tony asks once more, just to make sure; they do seem okay with it. Which is good. Maybe they think there can never be too many people saving the world at once.

'Wait,' Clint says, sounding as if he suddenly realized something, 'that one time with the factories, when Iron Man was in three places in short period of time –'

'I wasn't even there. I was at home.'

'I was the one to execute Sir's exact plans,' JARVIS speaks up, his voice soft in the big room, and the few people who haven't met him yet frown at the new invisible voice. 'Good to meet you all, Avengers.'

'Fellow Avengers,' Tony corrects, smirking slightly. 'Everyone, my first and beloved personal A.I., JARVIS. Say hello.'

'I believe I just did, but – hello,' JARVIS says obediently, sounding just as sarcastic as ever. Natasha's eyebrows go up at that.

'Is he a copy of you?'

'He's his own person. But we're best buddies for a reason,' Tony explains and hovers over his mug, taking in the scent and ignoring Steve's pointed look. He just isn't sure this is a good moment for food, even the liquid kind. 'So, we good?'

Now, this is a silly question. A very silly one as they have to have endless questions and they have to want to know all the answers – that's an obvious reaction and well, he can see it in their eyes – but it's also saying that he'd like to go. There's a meeting at SI today that he has to attend, and he's supposed to dress up and look pretty, apart from providing explanations about everything in the world. It's going to be fun, but three interrogations in one day might be too much.

He knows Fury will come by, with Phil maybe, in the evening. It's as obvious as the sun rising.

It's Bruce who speaks up; unexpected, Tony has to admit.

'Steve explained this to us, but I have to ask about that skin colorant. Did you really…?'

'Easier than I would have thought,' Tony laughs, 'and when I really need something, it makes it easier,' he adds, tapping the reactor.

'It is strange to see you white. And this pale. I guess no holidays on a tropical for you, these past couple years?' Peter asks, looking up from his snack.

'Sadly, no,' he admits. Rhodey's staring at him, he can feel the burning of the gaze on his nape. 'No California sun, either, but we could rectify that… So, we done?'

'For now,' Clint says, doing the I watch you gesture. 'You had me fooled,' he adds in signs, making Tony huff amusedly.

'I said I don't speak, I never said I couldn't,' he replies. Clint blinks, realizing that Tony's right about it, and lets his hands hover in the air before he adds something.

'You're good,' he signs.

'Genius,' Tony replies, returning the look, and stands up slowly. Better be on the safe side. 'Okay, so I know there's so much more you want to know and you should know and you deserve to know, but you need to forgive me, I've got a busy day, I'm sure you can all imagine, and I should get ready for some boring stuff to deal with. I'll be back, to eat pizza and play poker or whatever you want to do, in a few days when this all dies down, you can have all you endless explanations. They have to be quite provisional for now. But I leave you Rhodey to play with so you won't be bored,' he adds, offering Rhodey a mischievous smirk. Steve stands up, too, and puts his hand on Tony's shoulder; it makes Tony feel smaller – smaller but protected.

'Go get the car,' Steve tells him and Tony nods, waves at everyone and leaves the room, but Ijon tells his what Steve says: it's difficult for him, Steve tells the team.

He wants to be annoyed with those words but they are too true, and he's not sure he has the energy for it.

They are also pretty sweet, so.

'Ijon, car?' he asks out loud, realizing what Steve told him when he's almost by the door. He walked here all the way from home, even though Happy insisted on giving him a lift.

'Steve got here in your sky blue Mercedes yesterday,' Ijon supplies, sounding just a bit amused. Do all of the A.I.s know how Tony always teases Steve about choosing the least flashy car? Even if it makes sense.

'Smooth ride,' Tony had to agree though, he modified the car to be perfectly comfortable, even if boring.

They drive in silence, taking a way round, and Tony doesn't say anything when Steve stops by Tony's favorite Thai and gets him a takeout soup, easy to eat. He rests his legs on the console and sips the perfect soup, feeling his body accept the smooth warmth, and smiles at Steve.

Then he realizes they're moving the wrong way.

'Steve? Home?'

'You have six hours until you have to be home,' Steve says and drives on. 'Play some music, would you?'

Tony frowns but decides to go with it because why not.

They end up by the ocean, just on the outskirts of the city, parking the car in the middle of a large concrete flatness. Steve takes the soup mug from Tony when he's finished with the broth and eats the veg and meat from the bottom of it, using chopsticks with recently trained proficiency.

'You know me too well,' Tony laughs.

'Doesn't seem like a food day to me,' Steve mumbles, his mouth full. He swallows and puts the box on the car mask. 'Therefore I got something,' he adds and disappears by the trunk. 'Here you go,' he hands Tony a mini tub of blueberry ice cream.

'You took the picnic fridge with you just to force this ice cream into me?' Tony asks, amused, accepting the tiny tub and a plastic spoon.

'Blueberry,' Steve just says, as if it explained everything, looking back into the mug in his hand.

The ice cream tastes like blueberry and salty wind from the ocean.

A/N: I am very sorry for taking that long. It's been a busy time and I haven't had the right environment to write at all, it's been incredibly frustrating. I hope you enjoyed this part nonetheless! Please consider letting me know what you think :)

You should be grateful to Soccerstar66 who left me the most amazing review a few days ago and it definitely motivated me to get this piece done and posted. Thank you very much dear, it made me feel like someone really cared!