"In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble… they're only made of clay…," Jack sang softly, pouring two cups of tea and taking a few biscuits out of Ianto's tin. Jack Harkness usually never, ever sang unless he knew he was alone. Or around Ianto.
When Jack got back to the couch, the cosy mood seemed to have changed. Instead of relaxed and semi-sprawled out in the corner of the couch, Ianto was now looking pulled-in on himself, his arms wrapped around himself and his head lowered. Jack briefly wondered what could possibly have happened in the 90 seconds it took him to pour out a couple mugs of lemon-chamomile.
"What's up?" Jack asked gently, setting the tray on the table. "I thought you liked my singing," he teased lightly.
Ianto nodded silently and took a moment before glancing up. "Yep. Sorry, it's not you," he whispered.
"You ok?" Jack asked, putting his arm around Ianto.
"Will be. Just… that was Lisa's favourite song… ours, I guess." The tears had come on him so suddenly, he didn't even have enough warning to compose himself and stem the tide.
"'S ok," Jack said, rubbing Ianto's shoulder as he held him close. "You wanna talk about it? It's ok if not, too."
Ianto shook his head slightly against Jack's shoulder. "Was her favourite film, American in Paris. Her video copy was so worn out, she'd watched it so many times. She loved the dancing, the ballet." Ianto was startled by a short sob as he remembered how she looked when captivated by something she found beautiful. "She had such class," Ianto whispered, "such elegant taste."
"Pretty obvious that taste extended to choice in companions," Jack said, kissing Ianto's forehead.
Ianto shook his head again. "Could never figure out what someone so sophisticated saw in a council estate brat."
"I'm betting she saw quite a lot," Jack said softly, without the least hint of innuendo for a change. Jack hated it when Ianto said something self-deprecating like that, and he only ever mentioned his childhood in less-than-nostalgic terms. "And I happen to agree with her." Jack pulled the tea tray closer and passed Ianto a mug of tea.
"Thank you, Jack," Ianto murmured after a long while. "For letting me talk about her. Most people would probably be uncomfortable…."
Jack shook his head. "I understand. And I don't mind hearing you talk about her. Actually, I really appreciate that you think enough of me to share that with me."
"I've got to share the good stuff, Jack. I couldn't stand if you only thought of her… like that. She deserved better. And it helps me, as well."
"I wouldn't think of her like that, Yan. Not the Lisa you talk about," Jack promised. "And I'll listen, any time."
"That line in the film, when they're at the ball: 'You'll always be standing next to me, Lise.' I used to say that to her whenever she was sad or tired. Made her smile every time."
"No wonder," Jack said softly. He couldn't help thinking how nice it would be to have Ianto always standing next to him. If only their 'alwayses' could be a little more evenly matched, he thought.
There were times that didn't matter, though. If he could hold Ianto now so that he didn't have to feel alone when missing someone he'd loved, that was all that mattered. And maybe it was all that would ever matter, really. Maybe Ianto would always be standing next to him, too.