I apologise for all the sadness in these last few chapters. I promise to make the next one a bit happier! Please review; thoughts, opinions and suggestion are all welcome :-)

Jasmine woke up the following morning in the early hours after a short sleep. She guessed she must have fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion, her mind had been too active formulating a plan. Jasmine had resolved to wallow no longer; it wasn't helpful to those around her and especially not for her daughter. She switched on one of the lamps and reached over for her laptop.

She checked her emails first and couldn't help but be disappointed once more that was still no response from her mother. She opened up her web browser and typed 'childhood bereavement' into the search engine. She took a deep breath as she clicked onto a link for one of the suggested web pages and she began to read.

Her research was interrupted by a soft knock at her door and her sisters face appearing as the door was opened.

'Sorry, did I wake you?' Jasmine smiled at her sister.

Jac shook her head. 'I was on my way back from the bathroom and I saw the light. Are you ok?' Jac shut the door behind her and walked over to the bed.

'I've decided not to be such a pain in the arse' Jasmine watched as her sister sat down on the bed beside her. 'And I've decided that I need to step up and be the best mother I can for Ava whilst I still can.'

'Good'. Jac said bluntly as she settled herself against the headboard. 'It is ok if you need to be alone or cry or whatever though too'

'I know' Jasmine said 'I guess you lot would rather I talk to you as well though right?'

'It would help' Jac agreed. 'So what are you doing?'

'I've thought it through and I think I need to tell Ava what's happening. She's already picking up that something's wrong and I think that it would be better for her to expect my….' Jasmines voice halted for a moment as she searched for a word she felt comfortable with.

'Passing?' Jac suggested helpfully.

Jasmine nodded. 'If I just do a disappearing act on her, like mum did to you, she'll be confused and think I don't care or love her. You were right last night, I don't want my child to hate me whether I'm around to know about it or not.' Jasmine passed Jac the laptop 'there's a really helpful website I've found which tells you how to talk to a young child in this situation.'

'It says here you should be direct and honest in how you tell them and not to use phrases that may lead them think you have merely gone away.' Jac looked her sister 'Are you sure you can cope with that?'

'I think I may need you to help me' Jasmine said 'this is likely to be the hardest conversation in the world to have but I need to be the one to tell my child that I'm…' Jasmine took a shaky breath '… that I'm dying. I just need you to be there with me.'

'Of course I will' Jac reassured her sister 'when did you want to do it?'

'I thought as soon as she's awake. She's anxious about what's going on away so the sooner she knows what is actually happening the better.'

Jac shut the lid down on the computer. 'I think you're right. By the way you should probably know I contacted Peter to update him.'

'Thanks' Jasmine slid herself so she was laid back down on the bed. 'I guess we really need his support now huh?' She closed her eyes feeling exhausted once more.

Jac smoothed her sister's hair. 'Yep. This is strange new territory I'm afraid'.

'I'm sorry I acted jealous when Ava called for you and not me last night' Jasmine spoke with her eyes closed.

'That's ok, it must be strange having someone else take care of your child when you're right there' Jac continued to smooth Jasmines hair hoping the young girl would slip into sleep once more.

Jasmine shook her head. 'It's what I want but it's taking a while for me to get used to it. I need Ava to see you as her parent. It's the main reason I sought you out in the first place.'

'I'm glad you did find me.'

'Me too, you're a great Mum too you know' Jasmine yawned. 'Do you think you and Jonny will have another baby of your own one day?'

'I can't have any more children Jasmine' Jac spoke factually 'I had to have a hysterectomy, pregnancy had exacerbated my endometriosis so it was the only option.'

'Jac I'm sorry I didn't know' Jasmine felt embarrassed that she might have caused her sister upset.

'I know you didn't, it's not something I go around broadcasting' Jac sighed 'sometimes things are what they are and no amount of grieving for what you can't have will change it.'

Ava woke up at six thirty in the morning. She was confused as to why she hadn't seen her mummy since yesterday morning. She still thought, despite Auntie Jac's and Uncle Jonny's reassurances, her mummy was cross with her. Ava sucked on her thumb, a comfort habit she hadn't used for a while, whilst thought about this. In the end she decided that she would have to go and see her mummy herself. She slid down off the bed and tiptoed lightly across the landing to her mother's door. She reached up carefully and turned the door handle. She tiptoed into the room and was surprised to see her both her Mummy and her Auntie Jac asleep on her mother's bed. She walked around to where her mother was sleeping and placed one her small hands on her mother's arm.

'Mummy?' Ava said quietly. 'Mummy are you awake yet?'

Jasmine woke with a start and sat up a little 'Ava? Are you ok?'

Ava nodded her head but added gravely 'you didn't say goodnight last night.'

'I know. I'm sorry sweetheart' Jasmine pulled the little girl up onto the bed.

'What's going on?' Jac mumbled as she stirred from her own slumber.

'I've come in to see you' Ava informed her auntie. 'Why are you in here Auntie Jac?'

'I must have fallen asleep here when I was talking to your mummy.' Jac yawned and blearily rubbed her eyes. Ava clambered over her mother and settled herself between the two women.

'Are you still sad because you're tummy is poorly?' Ava asked her mother.

Jasmine looked over at Jac and Jac gave her sister a look which could be plainly read as 'here's your opportunity'

'You know my tummy has been poorly for a long time don't you Ava?' Ava nodded her head 'And you know I've spent a lot time in the hospital with the doctors trying to make me better?'

'We're always at the hospital' Ava sighed.

'Yes we've spent an awful lot of time there haven't we?' Jasmine managed to smile bravely at her daughter. 'Well the doctors have tried really hard to make my bad tummy better but they won't be able to fix my tummy for me.' Jasmine took hold of both Ava's hands with her own. 'what I need to tell you Ava is I'm going to die' Jasmine took a deep breath to steady herself 'I'm so poorly that I'm not going live for much longer.'

'What do you mean mummy?' Ava looked at her mother with a confused look on her face. Jasmine looked at her sister helplessly whilst a ball of emotion lodged itself in her throat.

Jac thought hard about the way she could define death in a manor a three year old could understand. 'What mummy means Ava.' The little girl turned her head so she could look at her auntie 'her tummy is so poorly that its starting to make other things her body poorly too.' Jasmine let go of Avas hands so the child could roll over to properly face her auntie. 'This means that soon mummy's whole body will be too poorly to work. When Mummy's body has stopped working it means she will have died and that means she won't be with us anymore.' Jac smoothed Ava's hair off her face. 'Do you understand Ava?'

'Mummy isn't going to be here because she is too poorly' Ava nodded. 'But where will she be?'

Jac could see tears were pouring down Jasmines face. She thought for a moment, she'd been pleased Ava's advanced intelligence had enabled her to grasp the situation so quickly, however she knew this part would be tricky to explain to any child. 'Well mummy's body will still be here but because it won't be working any more it won't be mummy.'

'What Auntie Jac is trying to say Ava.' Both the women and Ava looked up at the doorway at the sound of Jonny's voice. Neither Jasmine nor Jac had been aware that he had been listening. 'Mummy's body will stay here on earth but mummy's soul, the thing that makes mummy, mummy, will have gone on to Heaven.' He sat down on the end of the bed. 'Do you what Heaven is?'

Ava shook her head. Jac was glad Jonny was able to take over this part of the conversation. Knowing Jasmine's beliefs Jac knew her sister would want her Ava to believe in the purity of Heaven. But Jac also knew she herself would struggle to articulate something she couldn't believe in.

'It's a place where people go when they die, a very special place that is very far away above us, so far away that we can't even see it.'

'Can't mummy come back from there?' Ava asked crawling along the bed so she could rest against her uncle.

Jonny put his arm around his niece as she snuggled against him. 'Well that's the sad part about Heaven. Although it's magical there, you aren't allowed to come back. So even though mummy will want to come and see you very much she won't be able to.'

'Do you understand what's going to happen Ava?' Jac asked again

'Mummy is very poorly and so her body won't work and then she'll go to Heaven and then I won't see her anymore.' Ava turned to her mother 'is that right mummy?' Jasmine nodded her head still unable to speak. 'Why is mummy crying?' Ava whispered to her uncle a worried frown on her face. She wasn't used to grown-ups crying.

'Well Mummy is very sad that she is dying because she doesn't want to leave you' Jonny rubbed Ava's back.

'I don't want mummy to go either.' Ava said sadly 'Its not fair.'

'No its not' Jonny agreed with the little girl. 'I think Mummy would like it if you gave her cuddle.'

Jac and Jonny watched as Ava crawled back up the bed and into her mothers arms. They both felt relief that the ice on the topic of Jasmines death had been broken, however they both knew this was just the beginning of Ava's understanding of it.

After composing herself Jasmine decided that they all ought to get up and make a start on the day. She promised herself she would keep Ava in a routine as much as possible. Ava was sat at the table as Jasmine poured a bowl of cereal for her. The little girl had become subdued after their chat, despite Jac's assurances that Ava was probably just processing, Jasmine couldn't help feeling anxious.

'Are you sure you're ok Munchkin?' Jasmine asked her child for the umpteenth time that morning. Ava nodded her head but her face still looked serious. 'It's ok if you want to ask questions' Jasmine reassured the child.

'Its just' Ava ate a mouthful of rice krispies 'who will read me my bedtime story if you're not here?'

'Well Auntie Jac and Uncle Jonny will' Jasmine felt stupid that they hadn't thought to reassure Ava that she would still be looked after. 'You like living here don't you Ava?'

Ava nodded her head 'I like my room and Auntie Jac is really nice'.

'That's good' Jasmine smiled reassuringly at Ava. 'Auntie Jac and Uncle Jonny love you very much and they want you to stay here with them so they can look after you.'

Ava ate some more of her breakfast but she still looked thoughtful. 'Because you'll be in heaven because you can't be here because your body will be too poorly?' the little girl checked again with her mother that she had the situation right.

'Yes that's right Ava.' Jasmine felt braver every time she heard Ava recall the reality they were facing.

'When will you go to Heaven?' Ava asked as she scooped more cereal onto her spoon.

'We don't know sweetheart' Jasmine smoothed Ava's hair.

'Why not?' the little girl asked

'Because you can't always know when things are going to happen. We just have to make the best of things'.

Jac's phone started ringing from where it sat on the kitchen counter. Jasmine heard the bathroom door unlock and Jac came rushing out, dressed but with wet hair, to answer it.

'Bloody hell Sacha, its seven thirty on a Saturday, I thought it was going to be an emergency' she spoke into the phone as she rolled her eyes at Jasmine. 'Your love life does not count as an emergency' she interrupted her friends speech. She groaned as she listened to a bit more of Sacha's dilemma. Jasmine couldn't help but smile at her sisters reaction to her apparent best friend. 'I don't know Sacha I'm not a flower person….yes good idea ask Mary Claire or Chantelle…no I am glad you finally went on a proper date with Mo, thrilled in fact…no Jonny's not here he went out to buy milk but I will ask him when he gets back…me? I'm fine…no I'm not just saying that…I know and I promise I will…right ok bye.' Jac hung up the call. 'He had to go, a real emergency turned up' she rolled her eyes at Jasmine.

Jasmine laughed. 'He finally asked Mo out on a date?'

'No Mo asked him out on a date' Jac said as she started to make herself a coffee 'I thought it might bring an end to the constant dating advice conversations Sacha keeps forcing on me but no such luck'. She sat down at the table with her sister and niece as Jonny walked through the door carrying a bag full of shopping and talking into his phone.

'That's great Mo' he was saying as he placed the shopping down on the kitchen counter and grinned at Jac 'I really pleased you had a nice time…yeah she's here I'll put her on… ok bye' Jonny handed his phone to Jasmine 'it's Mo she wants to talk to you'.

Jasmine took the phone and spoke to mo. Jac got up and helped Jonny to put away the shopping. 'So Mo enjoyed her date with Sacha then?'

'Oh yes apparently he's so funny and they just get on so well' Jonny rolled his eyes.

'Sacha just called me to ask if he should send flowers and if so what would be Mo's favourites'.

'He was asking you?' Jonny sounded amused

'Yes I know' Jac rolled her eyes at him. 'So what do you think?'

'Yes to flowers and her favourites are sunflowers but if he can't get them tell him go for something with lily's '

'Right ok' Jac muttered as she typed a text to her best friend. 'I'm hoping this will bring an end to my constant unnecessary AAU consults'

'If not you might have to make a stand with Sacha and send Elliot down there instead'

'Elliot?' Jac sent Sacha her text. 'I could send you down there to diagnose the patients he's been using at excuses'. Jonny stuck his tongue out at her.

The couple turned around at the sound of Jasmines laughter. 'It's so good to laugh at something normal' she giggled. She handed Jonny back his phone. 'Mo is going to take me to church, I really feel like being there this morning.'

'Ok' Jac nodded her head 'did you need us to watch Ava?'

'No its ok' Jasmine smiled 'I'd like to take her with me. Actually I want to get her christened and I was thinking about asking Mo to be god mother. Do you think she would?'

'Excellent choice' Jonny grinned 'she was Amelia's too, and I know she'd be delighted.'

You had Amelia Christened?' Jasmine asked in surprise.

'I wanted her to be' Jonny answered her. He knew she still struggled to get her head around the idea of Jac's atheism and his faith working together.

'I was thinking about asking Sacha for god father.'

'Well that might be tricky' Jac laughed 'as Sacha is Jewish'

'Huh, I guess I should have spotted that' Jasmine thought for a moment. 'Well who was Amelia's godfather?'

'Elliot Hope' Jac answered her sister as she cleared away Ava's now empty bowl.

'I don't really know Elliot that well' Jasmine admitted. 'What about Michael?'

'He's an agnostic Christian but you could always ask' Jac poured her niece a glass of Apple Juice. 'He's good with advice but I warn you; he'll spoil her rotten.'

'I'm sure you are more than capable of stopping Ava from becoming a spoilt little madam' Jasmine laughed. 'I just want to make sure she has as big support network as possible.'

Peter had dropped by the flat whilst Jasmine and Ava were still at church with Mo. He had been impressed at Jonny's retelling of the mornings events, it wasn't easy to tell a child their parent was dying but between the three of them they had managed it.

'We're lucky she's so intelligent' Jac said sadly 'She grasped the idea really quickly.'

'That's good' Peter smiled encouragingly at the couple. 'But be prepared to keep being asked the same questions. Young children take a while to fully process things and she'll want reassurance. I'm glad to hear you did it as a team as well. That's really good for Ava to see'

'I'm so worried about saying the wrong thing, or doing something to upset Ava.' Jac admitted 'I know Jasmine is Christian and would want Ava to experience her death in that way but I struggle with it. I'm lucky I have Jonny' she squeezed her fiancé's hand.

'You have faith?' Peter asked and Jonny nodded. 'Beliefs are important when considering how we talk about death and faith can be comforting. So Jonny here can answer all her questions about God and Heaven and isn't there a friend called Mo?'

Jonny nodded again 'Jasmine wants her to be Godmother to Ava.'

'Good, good' Peter nodded. 'Give yourselves a break you're doing marvellously in a very difficult situation. The important thing to remember is not to try to shelter Ava away from anything you feel will be too hard for her because it will only confuse her. Let her see how you grieve and it will help her.'

The coupled nodded. Peter handed them some pamphlets 'These just go over a few things we've already discussed but there's also some practical advice in there too such as letting Ava feel useful by giving her little tasks to do to for her Mum and keeping up with normal routine and discipline and so forth'. Peter took a sip of tea before he continued 'We're making good progress on the legal guardianship as well. I managed to track down Ava's father and he agreed to sign away any potential paternal rights he may have to Ava'

'You found Ava's father?' Jac sat up straighter

'Oh yes. Simon Jacobson, very unpleasant man in my opinion didn't seem to give two hoots about Ava.' Peter looked guilty 'I shouldn't have said that, its not very professional of me.'

'Well Jasmine won't speak about him so we'll trust your judgement' Jonny laughed.

'Hopefully due to recent events we'll get the legal guardianship in place sooner rather than later and you'll technically be Ava's official guardians.' Peter smiled as he watched the couple in front of him exchange relieved smiles. 'I've a feeling this will make Jasmine happy too'.