"Caroline can we ….. Can we talk for a moment please?"

John looked quite sad compared to his usual daft or drunken self. He was unshaven, clearly unwashed and she felt sorry for him. "Come in. I can give you a few minutes but I need to be going back to Kate's soon."

Caroline found herself again sitting on the dining room chair facing John on the sofa, their sofa. It felt like ground-hog day for her. It felt like she had so many children in her life needing her attention and the one who needed it the most was so far away. She resolved to go visit Lawrence at the farm tonight no matter what. "What's the matter John? What do you want?"

John looked at her with his puppy dog eyes. "Caroline. I need to talk about selling the house. I need to get it sold quickly because I want a place of my own. I can't stand it in Judith's flat. It's cramped and there are empty bottles everywhere. I feel like I'm a bloody student again. Have you had anyone show any interest at all?"

Caroline sighed. "To be honest John I really haven't had the time. Kate was rushed into hospital having had the baby prematurely and then Helena… sorry, she's called Helena. Helena developed an infection and she's in the intensive care unit in an incubator. Greg's been harassing us…. Sorry, Greg is the donor for Helena. The holidays have meant the estate agent's office has been shut. So the short answer is well, No!"

John's face looked crest fallen. He seemed to shrink into himself and all at once fade a little. Caroline felt for John who looked so lost. "John what's really going on with you now? You don't look very good to me."

"It's Judith. She's an alcoholic and spends most of her money on it. She's behind with the rent and I'm propping her up with what little income I have. So I could really do with the cash to get away. Find somewhere on my own. Would you … consider dropping the price a little?"

Caroline's face was furious. "Let me get this right John. You want me to drop the price so that you can escape the clutches of your bit on the side who is an alcoholic. The woman you left me, your boys and this house for? I guess all the excitement of the hiding behind people's backs and the risk of getting caught has worn off now? I guess the reality of life and responsibility sinking in now?" Caroline couldn't hide her anger. Her face was bright red and clearly she was holding herself control in check but it was fighting with the need to not let him know his betrayal still left their mark.

Caroline took a deep breath before asking her next question. "John when …. did you and Judith start your affair exactly? I meant how long was it really going on before you told me?"

John looked a little sheepish. "Caroline I didn't mean to hurt you or the boys. I was just bored with …" John stopped before he really landed himself in it.

"Bored with what John? With me, with your family? With your boys? What John, because I supported you with your writing and your creative mind. If that bored you then all your publishing success was a complete…... Is it more difficult for you now? Now you have to sort your own shopping, make your own dinner, wash your own clothes and balance the budgets." Caroline composed herself again. "Just tell me when John? Please? You owe me that much."

"It was about 18 months before I told you and left to live with her."

Caroline's heart skipped a beat in shock. It was far longer than she had ever thought. He had sneaked off with Judith even when they had gone away on holiday to Greece two summers passed. She felt angry and sad for the Caroline then that had no idea and had gone on juggling her work, her family and her husband. The old Caroline who nearly took him back had changed. She smiled and felt happy for the Caroline she was now. She had Kate who was far more caring and considerate with her than John had ever been. She had Helena that initially she wasn't really ready for but now felt love beyond the heavens for.

She looked up at John with a huge smile on her face and John noticed. "What? What are you smiling at Caroline?"

"I will drop the price to help you. Just as soon as I can get hold of the estate agents. I'll drop the price so that I can finally rid you out of my life and so that you can get a place of your own. When you do get a place of your own, you are going to make time for your son, Lawrence. He loves you John and he is heart-broken by what you've done. If you're not careful you are going to lose him forever and that would be a real pity John. Because as much as you feel I hate you I don't. I really pity you and your sad excuse for a life at the moment. You need to dry yourself out, get a damn job and make time for your beautiful son before it's too late."

John just stared at Caroline with a knowing acceptance of what she said. He didn't answer and looked like a small boy wanting his mother.

"John you can stay here for the next few days if you like whilst I'm staying at Kate's. My mum, Alan and Lawrence have gone to Gillian's farm for a few days. Please do not have Judith round here because I don't want to come home to a huge mess. I will warn you now. If I do come back to a big mess I will change the locks and I will not drop the price. I will not clear up after you and Judith's drunken antics anymore. Do you understand me?"

"Yes. Yes."

She left John sitting on the sofa, collected her bag and walked out the door to her car. She looked at the time and couldn't believe it was now nearly 4 o'clock. She decided that she would head over to Halifax even if it meant only spending a few minutes with Lawrence. She was determined to give him a big hug and reassure him about Greg. She would ask him if he wanted to come back with her to Kate's house. She would leave it until the last-minute before ringing Kate. She didn't want to wake her but she didn't want to push Lawrence out.

About a mile away from the farm she called Kate's mobile and Kate answered. She sounded quite tired. "Kate. Sorry, did I wake you?"

Kate's voice brightened. "No, I was just resting my eyes. I've slept on and off for most of the day. Are you coming home?"

"I'm just in Halifax to see Lawrence. I was worried about him." Caroline didn't want to upset Kate but she wanted to make sure she knew that Lawrence was a part of their lives too.

Kate smiled at Caroline. "It's okay. I do miss you but I understand you need to see him."

"Kate. I want to ask Lawrence if he would like to come and stay with us at your house. Do you mind if I do? He's been so unsettled lately and I'm worried he's feeling pushed out."

"Caroline. Of course you can. I really want you to know that Lawrence is always welcome here with us and Helena. He's a part of our family now. You really don't have to ask me."

Caroline cried at Kate's comments. "Thank you Kate. You're so precious to me. I really love you. I won't be long. I promise." Caroline ended the call and continued up the single moors track to Gillian's farm. She looked out across the beautiful scenery and felt the fading sun shine on her face. She was filled with light, happiness and warmth.

It was nearly quarter to five by the time she arrived in Gillian's farm-yard. Lawrence came running out to her with a huge smile on his face. "Mum, you came. Are you staying over?"

She took Lawrence in a big hug and squeezed him tightly. "I'm sorry Lawrence. I can't stay here with you because I have to get back to check on Kate." Lawrence looked saddened by her reply. "But how about you come with me and stay over at Kate's house? I can even take you to see Helena tomorrow if you like?"

Lawrence's face screwed up at Caroline's offer. "Does that mean I'll have to listen to you and Kate tonight?"

Caroline laughed slightly embarrassed. "Oh my god. Have you heard us … you know…?"

Lawrence looked at his mum slightly embarrassed and nodded. He looked up from his bowed head.

Caroline tried to stop a smile sliding across her face. "Is it that… I mean….. Do we….Noisy?"

Lawrence again nodded to answer his mum's embarrassing unfinished questions.

"Oh my. Well then I'm sorry Lawrence. I promise not to be so noisy in the future. I didn't realise we were that …. Erm…. Well. I'm sure tonight you'll have no worries there. I promise."

Lawrence looked up at his mum with a smirk on his face. God mum you are such a sucker. I was only kidding you. Do you really make lots of noise when you and Kate ….."

"Lawrence! You….." She blushed, then smiled and drew him into another hug.