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It was the 10th January and Castiel was lying on his bed. It was cold and he didn't feel like moving at all, so he was tossing a tennis ball up and catching it as it fell. It was fun. Kind of. Not really.

Lysander said the day before that he wouldn't go to Castiel's house for some "personal reasons", so he was alone for the day.

Maybe he would pay a visit to his grandparents; the faces they would make when they saw him were always amazing. Or maybe he would call Eleanor. Or even Lysander. He said he couldn't come over, not that he couldn't talk.

Yes. He would call Lysander.

"What do you want? I'm busy" Lysander said on the other end of the line.

"Doing what exactly? Your best friend is bored"

"Lys, who is it?" A female voice called in the background of the call.

"Are you serious?!"

"For fuck's sake, give me a second" The call stayed quiet for a while before Lysander came back

"Who was that?"

"Samantha, from our school. Why do I bother, do you even know her?" He did know her, in fact. Samantha was a quiet girl that always sat in the back of the class. She had short brown hair and big hazel eyes and always said sorry before saying something. So that was kind of surprising.

"Yes, I know her. But how—"

"That's not what you called me for, Castiel. What is it?"

"I forgot you're not a morning person. But I told you, I'm bored"

"You rely too much on me"

"Yes, I do, and you know that"

"Call your parents. Call your fairy godmother. Call telesex. Call Eleanor, God knows it would do you good"

"Lysander Lorcan Denecour, what are you insinuating?"

"I'm not insinuating anything, it's obvious. Only you two are stupid enough to not have seen it by now"

"I don't like Eleanor"

"You do. You're just too stubborn to admit"

"Alright… maybe I like her—"

"Told you"

"But I can't just go up to her and say 'Hey Eleanor, how are you? Did you know I'm in love with you? Are you in love with me? 'Cause if we touch now, it could potentially be very interesting, given that I think we are soulmates'. That's not how life works"

"Why not? Remember when we watched Captain America and the guys said that he couldn't just knock on HYDRA's front door? What did he do?"

"He knocked on HYDRA's front door"

"And what happened?"

"He got frozen on an iceberg for 70 years"

"Before that, you fuck"

"He… won"

"Looks like we've learned a lesson today, kids! Sometimes the most obvious and ridiculous thing to do is the right one. Go for it, mate. Life might be surprising in a good way"

"You sound nicer now"

"Fuck off"

"Note to self: never call Lysander on a weekend before 13"

"You always say that and you always forget it"

"Whatever. But… What if life doesn't give me a good surprise"

"You fucking move on. But, of course, that's what you never do"

"I don't even know if I like her that much"

"I know you do. Go tell her"

"How?"

"She lives three blocks away from you, for fuck's sake"

"What am I gonna do? Pull a Captain America?"

"That is exactly what you're going to do. You have to face your feelings Castiel. No one else can do it for you"

"Okay. Thanks, Lys. I guess. But what if -"

"Fuckity bye" Lysander groaned and hung up.

Castiel stared at his ceiling thinking about his life a little. Eleanor was nice and she was pretty, but did he really like her? Maybe he did, but what if everything went wrong? It could go off like Deborah. He wouldn't take another Deborah; he would break apart if that happened again.

He thought about doing nothing but then he looked at the guitar. The one he always wanted. The one Eleanor bought for him just because she wanted to see him happy. And he thought about the past months and how Eleanor played a major part in his life now. And he thought about the good moments, and, just like in a silly cartoon, he could swear he saw a little heart appear above his head.

Castiel had butterflies in his stomach and his head was spinning and maybe that's what love felt like. Maybe that was real and he should do something about it.

He would do something about it.

So he put on clothes and he thought about what he would say.

"Eleanor, I like you" He thought "And I think I have for a few months now, and maybe I even love you but that's what I know for now. You are special to me, and nothing would make me happier than you telling me you feel the same. What I'm feeling it's better— it's stronger than Deborah. I've never felt like this and I want to share it with you. Is this too cheesy? Maybe, but it will have to do"

Castiel went downstairs, grabbed his keys and walked to de front door. He was confident. That was happening. He was going to confess his attraction simply by the heat of the moment and the burst of confidence. Lysander was right about everything and he had been stupid to have hidden it for so long.

He was doing this.

As he reached for the door, the phone rang. He thought about leaving it, but then it rang again and again and he walked over to it. It wouldn't take long after all, right?

He shouldn't have picked up the phone.

He picked up the phone.

"Hello?" He said in a hurry.

"Castiel! Oh my God, you won't believe it!" Eleanor screamed happily on the other end.

He shouldn't have picked up the phone.

It wouldn't have made much difference, but he should've said yes when she asked if he wanted to hang out that other day and he shouldn't have picked up the phone.

But he didn't say yes.

But he picked up the phone.

"Well you seem even more excited than usual, so I'm guessing something stupid happened, like your pony butterfly fairy princess TV show or whatever you watch has gotten—"

"I found my soulmate!"