imakeeper: It will be, but I'm not ready to put her on the losing end just yet. I mean the situation has to be really hopeless before the tide is turned. Marietta has just begun, but trust me I promise a cool fight Cho vs. Marietta at the end. I just need to get Cho and Harry together, and have a certain body discovered, and one other thing happen bad before that happens. Well actually Harry and Cho getting back together as soon as possible, but she needs to see her mum first.
T-person: Hi, thanks again for the review. Well nothing will keep Cho from leaving, but something will bring her back. Two things actually. But I cannot tell you what they are yet. Your right about the dangers of getting into Dumbledore's mind, but if they are careful, creative, and limit their time, then the shape shifter can stay for limited time in his head.
Froggie2: Marietta has just begun her devious plans, but you will see them start to unfold soon. Harry and Cho will have a brief interaction, but Cho has to go soon. Her mother's very sick. But don't expect her to stay for long. When she returns she's going to see Harry again, and I'll have a chance to do the romantic thing full swing. But they will have to face many dark challenges together.
AntiBush: Dumbledore will be trying to find out who's going through his head, but he's pressed, in battle. He did just kill Sirius's cousin. Anyway because of who he's fighting, and although he knows that someone's trying to get into his head, he'll go off in the wrong direction. I mean, wouldn't you think that it was Voldermort trying to do it if you were in constant battle with his forces? Thanks about the Cho's loyalty to her family thing. I didn't know how well that would play. Well Seamus will not escape, at least I don't think. That was more to show the torment that he was going through. I mean this thing is writing his parents saying that everything is fine, and since the thing is him so often, Seamus pretty muck knows all about their plans because he dreams it almost every night, as if it were him doing it. So he's going a little crazy in there, knowing all this, and also being in solitary confinement, with one book that he read over, and over. Cho will indeed not stay long, but she doesn't know that. Marietta will actually be one of two reasons that Cho returns, although Cho will not know that either.
Chapter 49! How the hell did that happen? Okay, well there are actually two points that are going to happen. Harry will start on a course to find out what is happening to him from the inside. I mean why he would fly off in a rage, why he's so filled with anger, and why he has been biting everyone's head off since OOPT. It actually is an event that has a medical explanation. Here Harry Potter will screw up severely and it will finally bring him to question why he has been acting like this.
The second point will be that of Cho Chang now about to face multiple betrayal from everywhere, even if it's unintentional. She has to leave now, to get away from everything, and to get to her mother. Her world is falling apart, and she doesn't know what to do. She's been struggling since Cedric's death, and so many bad things have happened to her. Marietta and her gang can hurt Cho, but only so much. After all, how much can you be hurt by obviously stupid people, but when that hurt comes at you from the people you love, that the insults that stay with you. Or that's just my take. Anyway… um here it is. Hope you like.
Chapter 49: Unintentional Betrayal
Later that morning:
Harry headed down the corridor on his way to breakfast in the Great Hall. He had had the nightmare again last night. The one about killing Padma. He had been having it for several nights, and it was driving him crazy, and robbing him of sleep. It had even replaced the one about him being torched by Voldermort. The nightmare was never as clear as the first time he had had it, but it still haunted him. To add to that he was still depressed about Cho's deception. She had said that she did not associate with Marietta and her lot anymore, but… he clearly saw her and some other society members walking out of Cho's party in a festive mood. That to add to Cho's random crying, even at her own birthday party was also pushing him away from her. But there was also something else. Lately a sense of blind rage, and anger had been creeping up on Harry. He tried to ignore it at first, but he was getting angrier all the time, and he didn't know why. He felt he just wanted to lash out at the world.
He was still walking down the corridor adjacent to the great hall when Cho Chang stepped out of a girl's bathroom in front of him. They both looked at each other in silence for a moment, before Cho finally spoke.
"Harry, about… last night. I'm sorry that… that I didn't stay, and that I was crying, but…" Cho started, but was cut off.
"Forget it Cho, I don't care. It was a mistake for me to go anyway. The truth is that… I really need to concentrate on my school work, and… I think that we need to take a break from hanging out with each other for a while." Harry said coldly.
"But… but… why Harry, I said that I'm sorry. You said that you believed me about the other day…" Cho said shakily. Harry shook his head.
"No Cho. I said that I wanted to believe you, but… the truth is that I don't. I really don't." Harry said without emotion of any kind. Cho held her hand to her heart, when he said it. She also shook her head.
"Harry… you don't mean that. Look, I've been going through a lot of well I've been going through a lot of things lately. There have been some problems in my life, and…" Cho started, but Harry rudely interrupted.
"Problems like what Cho? What problems do you have?" Harry asked.
"Well, two of my friends were very sick, and my grades have been getting worse, plus I've been having problems at home. I know that I've seemed well suspicious, and all, but really… I'm just going through some things that you might not understand." Cho said quietly.
"Things that I might not understand… things that you can't tell me about?" Harry intoned. Cho nodded her head.
"Yes Harry, some things that I cannot tell you about, but, there are others that I can share with you, like my grades are really doing horrible, and, my friends got sick because…" Cho continued, but Harry stopped her.
"Look Cho, I… I don't want to hear it. It was a rhetorical question. The point is you really only think that you have problems. I wish that I had your problems. I actually wish that you could have my problems for a day so that you would know how silly yours are in comparison. I've got You-Know-Who, trying to kill me off every year, and every year some magical creature almost kills me. First there was a three headed dog, then giant spiders, a Basilisk, Dementors, and even Deatheaters. Added to that my Godfather died last year, and I'm having nightmares. Now would you like to trade places, and let me be you for a while Miss popular. Then you'd know how lucky you have it, how easy your life is." Harry complained. Cho held her hand to her heart, from Harry's attitude. She looked like she was about to cry.
"No, Harry. I wouldn't want to trade places with you." Cho said softly.
"I didn't think so." Harry replied coldly. Cho looked at the ground for a minute, and then looked back up at Harry.
"Because, I'd never wish my problems on other people. Why are you saying these things Harry?" Cho asked. Harry gave a heavy sigh.
"Because Cho, I can't trust you, and… I just can't stand your constant whining for no good reason. You're like a human hosepipe, and I'm tired of it. What have you got to cry about anyway? You've got hoards of friends, and your parents are rich from what I hear. So you don't need me." Harry finished. The words hit Cho like a sledge hammer. Why are you doing this to me Harry? I thought you cared. Cho thought. She looked into his eyes.
"Human… human hosepipe. Is that what you think of me?" Cho asked quietly.
"You cry all the time Cho. Cedric died two years ago. I liked him, but you have to let go sometime." Harry said.
"I told you that it's not Cedric Harry." Cho said upset. Not likely true, you really did love him, so I think that you're in denial. Harry thought.
"Then you tell me why right now Cho. You tell me about all the secretes that you've been keeping from me since we started talking again." Harry demanded angrily.
"Don't yell at me, and don't make demands of me Harrison Potter. I've done nothing wrong. I've told you the truth from the start. Marietta and I are enemies. We had a fight at my party last night. That proves that were not friends." Cho yelled back.
"Well maybe it's because you're a spy for the society, and the fight was staged to keep you two looking like you were at each others throats." Harry yelled back.
"Oh, you are so full of shit Harry, that's the dumbest thing that I've ever heard of." Cho countered.
"Really, well you tell me Cho, what were you doing in the potions lab all those nights! And why did you bewitch that room?" Harry said gritting his teeth to keep from shouting anymore, as several students had stopped to watch the row.
"None of your fucking business and I told you I didn't bewitch any room. I'm not your goddamn enemy you stupid git! Don't be so fucking stupid." Cho shouted at him. Harry was enraged; every anger about everything that had happened, and was happening over the last two years came bubbling up inside him, People trying to kill him, Dumbledore, and Cho keeping secretes from him, and his godfathers death, his nightmares about Padma. He had been hurting since the end of last year, and he was tired of it. He wanted to hurt someone else now, wanted to make someone else feel as bad as he did, and for a moment he didn't care who he was hurting, and that's when the unthinkable happened.
"Fuck you, you stupid Chink bitch!" Harry yelled hatefully. He gasped, and covered his mouth with his hand as if to stop the word from coming out, but it was too late. A collective gasp came out of the students around them, and Harry instantly regretted using it. He wanted to take it back, but it was impossible, because at that moment everything stopped. Cho didn't say another word as her jaw dropped. She just stood there stunned, looking more hurt than he had ever seen her. She looked as if it was difficult for her to breath, and she couldn't believe that the word had come out of his mouth. For a long moment there was dead silence as every student in the corridor turned to look at Harry or Cho. The two of them just stood there looking at each other in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Harry started to walk up to Cho to beg her forgiveness. But she fled towards the Ravenclaw tower. Harry looked around at that angry faces on the students around him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he choked. "I take it back" He said ashamed. Suddenly an Huffelpuff girl walked up to him with an angry look in her eyes.
"It's not that simple Harry Potter. You don't get to take that back like you do other things. She's never going to forget that, even if she forgives you." The girl said. Harry looked at the Huffelpuff girl with fear and shame.
"I didn't mean it. I swear that I didn't mean it." Harry said, tears starting to form at his eyes.
"Then why did you say it? Out of everything that you could have called her, why that?" the girl asked with anger. Harry shook his head.
"I, I don't know… I was angry at her. I just wanted to hurt her. But I didn't mean to say that." Harry said as tears rolled down his face. "How… how do I fix it?" Harry asked the girl. She laughed at him.
"Fix it? Fix it Potter? That's not something that a simple apology will work on. You really hurt her, and if she never talks to you again, I wouldn't blame her." The girl said. Harry looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Please, how can I make this right, I'm not a racist? I'm really not. It… it was a mistake. I was stupid. I never say that, ever." Harry pleaded. "I'm so ashamed." He continued. The Huffelpuff girl looked at Harry's pleading eyes, and could tell that he was sincere in his deep regret. She gave a deep sigh, and looked toward the corridors that lead to Ravenclaw Tower.
"When you say something like that… then you have to understand that, it's not just about apologizing with words. If you're sincere, then you'll have to show her that you're sorry. If she never forgives you, I don't blame her. I don't think that I would forgive you if it was directed at me." She said. She then turned to look back at Harry. "But understand this Harry Potter. If… and that's a big if. If she forgives you, then understand that you can never say that word again. Or even think it. Honestly I want to kick your arse for it and I'm not even Chinese. So don't expect any sympathy from me. The girl looked around at the other students. A few had left for the great hall, for breakfast. She looked back at Harry Potter one more time. And don't expect to have as many friends that you did before you opened your mouth and let that shit fly out of it. Harry stood up and started to the Great Hall, head hung in shame. When he got there word of the incident hadn't spread yet, but the people at the Ravenclaw table seemed gloomy none the less. Harry walked slowly down the isle against the wall, ignoring Ron's attempt to wave him over to a seat next to him, and walked over to, where Hermione was seated. She greeted him pleasantly, but he did not respond. Instead he just sat there, next to her and across from Seamus Finnigan who was pouring another goblet of punch. Harry started looking at the Ravenclaw table, hoping to see Cho Chang, so that he could fall to his knees and beg her forgiveness. After it didn't look like she was going to show up, Harry finally turned to Hermione.
"I need your help Hermione. Harry said in a sad tone.
"With Potions?" Hermione asked. Harry shook his head.
"No… I think I'm going crazy. I think… I'm having nightmares about Padma Patel, and I'm filled with rage lately. I'm mad at everyone all the time, and I took it out on Cho Chang today. I didn't mean too. I just I was filled with rage. She was trying to explain something to me, tell me why… but I got mad, and yelled at her. I called her something. It was… really bad, and um… I didn't mean it, but it just came out, and it was because I really wanted to hurt her feelings. I need you to call your parents, next time you go to the phone area in Hogsmead, and tell them that I think that they were right. I need a physiatrist. I also need to speak to Dumbledore now too. Um. I feel awful." Harry said. Hermione looked at him in sincere surprise.
"Is it that bad Harry? Is it about You-Know-Who?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded.
"Some of it. I don't know, but lately I've been angry all the time. Just filled with a rage, and I… really hurt Cho this morning." Harry said. Hermione looked at him blankly.
"What did you say to her Harry?" she asked. Harry buried her head in shame.
"I… don't want to repeat it ever again." He said, embarrassed. Hermione leaned in very close to him.
"Harry just whisper it to me one more time, and you don't have to say it again, but I have to know." Hermione said. Harry leaned into her ear, and whispered the word which caused her to pop back in astonishment.
"What! Harry are you stupid, what were you thinking? Why would you call her that? Cho's a nice person! How could you do that?" Hermione demanded.
"I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with me. I never wanted to hurt her, but… I don't know. I think that I'm going crazy. Oh god Hermione, I'd give anything in the world to be able to take it back. I don't even know what to say to her when I see her again." Harry said, almost in tears. Hermione propped up her head with one hand, a look of shock on her face.
"Harry… this is bad." She said in all seriousness.
"That's not all Hermione. I have dreams, about hurting people. Like Miggins. It was after the real event occurred, but… it was so real. And I had another dream about hurting…" Harry started to continue, but Hermione jabbed him in the ribs to indicate that he should look up. Luna Lovegood and two other Ravenclaw girls were standing in front of him, angry looks on their faces. The first time that he had ever seen an angry look on Luna's face in his life. The three of them just stared at him angrily in silence. Finally Luna spoke up.
"Harry, did you say it to Cho this morning? Did you call her… that?" Luna asked, hoping that it wasn't true. Harry looked up at Luna with watery eyes.
"Luna I didn't mean it! I'm sorry…" Harry began. The hand grabbed Seamus' goblet and sent punch flying all over Harry's face, and robes.
"Hey!" Seamus shouted annoyed.
When he wiped off his glasses it was Luna that held the goblet in her hand.
"I can't believe you Harry. Why would you do that!" Luna shouted, drawing the attention of all of the students around Harry.
"I'm so sorry Luna, I didn't mean too we were fighting, and I just…"
"What were you fighting about, that you would call her that Harry?" Luna demanded.
"Well… she was trying to tell me that… she was no longer friends with Marietta, but I didn't believe her, because I saw Marietta leaving her party laughing, with those society people, we got to shouting at each other, and it just came out. I'm so sorry." Harry pleaded. Tears started to fall from Luna's eyes, and it looked like the other Ravenclaw girls wanted to jump over the table at him. Other students looked on with interest.
"God Harry you fucking idiot! Cho and Marietta are enemies now, and Marietta and her gang left happy because they had made Cho cry, with the letter from her father!" Luna shouted.
"What letter?" Harry asked blankly.
"The letter saying that her mum had her other breast removed because of the cancer that… gasp!" Luna put her hands to her mouth too late as Harry had done before. And as before… to late to stop the words. Everything went quite for a moment. It was a moment that seemed to hang in the air forever. Harry looked around at everyone, the two girls beside Luan turned to look at her with disbelief, and Hermione covered her face in pity for everyone involved. Luna stood there as if frozen in fear of a curse of her own words, and Harry was sure that this was the worst of his nightmares to date. Finally through a river of tears he looked at Luna again.
"Her mother what?" Harry asked. Luna stood in place shaking in fear, as if a giant troll were in front of her.
"Nothing." She mouthed, but it was too late. The other two Ravenclaw girls forgot about Harry as tears fell from their eyes, and they slowly, walked back to their table. Hermione started crying, and Luna just stood there… in shock from her own action. She looked down at Harry.
"I've had people bugging me about the letter all morning. Offering me chocolates, wizarding cards, everything. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I wouldn't have done it for all the money in the world. It was a secret that Cho only shared with me. She trusted me not to say anything." Luna looked back to the Ravenclaw table; the sounds of crying had started up already. She then looked at the Gryffindor table, and enough people were close enough to hear her shout that deep conversation was going on there as well. "Shit." Luna said quietly. She turned to leave and bumped into Professor Flitwick who demanded to know what was going on. She looked down at him. "I'm sorry Professor. I'm very sorry." Luna said. She walked out of the Great Hall passing other Ravenclaws, and some Gryffindors that asked her if it was true about Cho's mum. She said not a word, but proceeded to the girls bathroom to hide, and cry on a toilet. Ashamed at her unintentional betrayal of Cho's secrete. Harry turned his gaze to the masters table. As usual Dumbledore was missing, so he panned across to look at Professor McGonagall. Later, I have to talk to her. Harry thought. Harry walked in a daze to the room of requirement, his head throbbing like mad, his vision blocked by tears that flowed unendingly. Upon entering it a bed sat in the middle of the room, with feather pillows. Harry immediately threw himself onto it and began sobbing uncontrollably, trying to use the pillow to muffle his howling agonizing screams. Poor Cho. Why, oh why didn't you tell me? I want to help you. I want to make things better, but I only made them worse. After a long cry that exhausted him, Harry sat up. I will fix this Cho. I will make things better. I promise. I will prove to you that I'm sincere, and I'll never… ever… doubt you again. I only hope that you'll take pity on me, and forgive me. I'm so sorry. Harry thought to himself, as he silently made the vow.
That afternoon, an empty classroom:
There was nothing, but talk of the contents of the letter outside in the corridors, amongst the students. Marietta and Seamus were the only occupants in the classroom. Marietta paced the floor, as Seamus sat back casually in a chair with a backrest.
"Well the secretes out. But I'm a bit worried. I had readjusted my plan to have her go against Potter after she returned, and now I'm going to have to adjust my plans again, now that he's not going to be something that she'll desire to return too. Who knew that Potter would be his own worst enemy? Where did he hear that word from? Did you say it to him?" Marietta asked Seamus.
"No, I've no idea where he heard it, or what would cause him to say that to her. But he was raised by muggles, so it makes since that it would be a word familiar to him, on some level. Of coarse I never figured him to be one to use it, but… you never know. Do you want me to become him tonight, so that I can probe his mind?" Seamus asked. Marietta rubbed her chin for a moment in thought. Finally she turned to Seamus.
"No. I want you to become Cho tonight. Get into her mind, and find out about… very personal moments with her and Cedric Diggory. Things that only the two of them would know. Spend as much time as you can in her head tonight, and write everything down when you're done, so that you don't forget. After tonight we stop concentration on Cho for a time, and go after our two primary targets… Dumbledore and Potter." Marietta said with an evil grin. Seamus looked at her.
"It was certainly a lucky break Potter saying what he did. Now much the school will be against him." Seamus said smiling himself. Marietta scoffed.
"A drop in the ocean my dear. They are only students, but when Potter gets blamed for the death of Padma, than it shall send shockwaves all over the magic world. Either Dumbledore will have to remove Potter from the school, or parents, and the Ministry will force him out, and then my love, with Potter gone. We can take on the Headmaster together." Marietta smiled. Seamus walked behind Marietta and put his arms around her. He kissed her gently on the neck.
"Not too soon my dear Marietta. I still need more time if I am to be ready. But it won't be so long either." Seamus smiled.
"Don't worry my love. Thanks to Mr. Potter. Time… is on our side. Unfortunately, due to my recent unpopularity from the incident at the party, I have to take myself out of the loop for a time. Someone's bound to come across the body eventually, and we'll only have to let things take their natural course." Marietta said. Seamus turned her to face him, and looked seriously at her.
"There is of course a problem. I don' think that when Dumbledore sees Potter kill Padma, with that ability he has to recreate the event that he will let anyone else know about it. I mean, I've been into his head, and his loyalty to Potter is without measure. He simply is incapable of believing that he could ever do such a thing. Believes him to be infallible on that level. He'll just say that Potter was impersonated by someone, or not mention it to anyone." Seamus continued.
"We don't have to worry about what he thinks… I never counted on getting the Head Master to believe Potter was crazy, but he can't just not say anything when a student eventually turns up dead. And if he uses the spell he did in the library, with the other Masters around, than they will see that it actually was Potter who did it. It will cast some doubt in their minds, even if they do believe that he's innocent. Besides… the Ministry may send someone of their own to investigate, and use that same spell, maybe even one of our own plants in the Ministry. And we can depend on them to spread the word about Potter." Marietta explained.
"Brilliant plan Marietta. I didn't think about having a Ministry person coming to investigate. Do you think it may be your mum?" Seamus asked.
"No, that's not mum's department. It will be someone else, I don't know whom. But even if it's not one of ours, they won't be able to deny the evidence right in front of them… when they see Potter murder poor Padma Patel in cold blood." Marietta finished. Seamus caressed her cheek softly.
"Your such a wicked witch." He said playfully.
"Yes, I know… I'm such a bad girl." She said in a sensual tone, as the two drew closer into an intimate embrace.
That Night, Cho's Dorm Room, Ravenclaw Tower:
Outside Beverly, Nancy, and Erica kept people who had come to offer Cho their sympathy, and well wishers out of their dorm room, so that Cho could have some time to herself. She hadn't been left alone since a bunch of people had first come up hugging her, and telling her how sorry that they were for her. Cho had been shocked to find out about Luna's betrayal, and had run to the dorm room to confront her afterwards. Luna apologized to her profusely, and said that it just slipped out in an argument that she had had with Harry. It wasn't enough, and Cho said that she never wanted to talk to Luna again, that she couldn't trust her. After Cho's roommates had said how sorry they were to hear about what had happened to her mum, they asked Cho if there was anything that they could do for her. Cho nodded, and asked if she could have some alone time, and if they would ask everyone to leave her alone, especially Luna.
Cho lay in her bed, looking up at the miniature night sky that she had bewitched the top of her four post bed to look like. She made not a sound, but reflected upon the past two days events. Cho felt betrayed by everyone in the world, the people who were closest to her, the people who were supposed to be their for her, the ones she always knew that she could count on. She was mad at the world now, so much so that it tied her stomach in knots, and caused her to have bad stomach cramps.
Her own father had done something so horrible to her by sending her the letter. That's not something that you're supposed to find out about by letter you heatless bastard! You should have come up here and told me face to face. How can you ask me to be here, when mum is so sick, how could you not tell me in person, how can you think that this is the way that it should be. I'm not supposed to be here right now. I'm supposed to be with mum, and you're not ever supposed to just send a letter like that. I've done everything that you've asked. I've kept it all in, and haven't told hardly anyone. I'm stuck here cut off from my entire family, and it's not fair. I shouldn't have to go through this by myself. I wanted to talk to Professor Flitwick, about it to get some type of guidance, but I didn't, and then you send me this letter father. Yes you were sympathetic, but a letter will not make up for the fact that you're not here, telling me in person. How could it not be important enough to tell me like that? I know that you cannot apparate at Hogwarts, but you could have easily done it at Hogsmead, and walked here. How hard would it have been? I'm your daughter, your only child; couldn't you have just done that for me? Cho silently screamed in her head. Cho wished that she was a muggle just then with a phone that she could use to call her Uncle's home, and yell all of this to her dad, to express her rage, at the insult of getting a letter to hear about the condition of her mother. A phone, a phone, oh god why can't we have phones in the wizarding world? She thought.
But her father's betrayal was only one of many over the last two days. Next she thought about her friend Luna Lovegood. Luna, whom had been like a little sister to her, whom she had taken under her wing, and kept Marietta and Danielle from picking on her. Luna had told everyone the secrete that Cho had told only her in complete confidence. Luna, who had sworn never to tell anyone else, and yet from what Cho had heard, she had blurted it out in front of the whole school. How could she be so cruel? I trusted you above all others. I knew that you were the most honest person that I know, and you hurt me like this? Why? No, I don't care why… I just know that I cannot trust anyone anymore. Not dad, not you, not even… Harry. Harry Potter. I love you. I wish that I didn't… I wish that I had never met you. I wanted to be friends, no more, but would have settled for friendship. But… you…" Cho's mind went blank. She raised her wand, and quietly said a jinx that caused the mirage of the night sky to be replaces by a mirror. Cho looked into it and remembered what Harry had said.
"You're like a human hosepipe, and I'm tired of it. Fuck you, you stupid Chink bitch!" Harry had said coldly. Cho looked over her features, her dark skin, the shape of her eyes, nose, sometimes it had been very hard growing up in Hogwarts School. There were very few ethnic Asians at any given time. She had been good friends with Jill Tanaka, but she really didn't know of any others except a boy that had just been sorted this last year, who she really didn't know. There were the Indians, who were supposed to be ethnically Asian, but she didn't look like any of them. She now really didn't look like any of the student in the school, and sometimes it made her feel out of place, not that that was a new experience to her. As far as she knew, she and her family had been the only Chinese family in all of Scotland. It wasn't like it was with her cousins in London, where there were a significant number of Non-Indian Asians in their Muggle School. But then England tended to be a bit more diverse than Scotland. Still because people had been so nice to her, and she was fortunate enough to have so many friends, sometimes she forgot that she looked so… different. Even the racist taunts of Marietta's gang had their limitations of how much they could hurt her. But when Harry had called her a chink out of the blue, when he had showed her that he looked at her differently, it had crushed her. Marietta and her gang meant nothing to Cho, they were school bullies, and Cho had come to expect it. But Harry had really hurt her. She didn't want to look different to him; she didn't want to look unattractive to him. But it was clear that that's what he thought of her. He thought of her as different, not like the other girls whom there were more the norm. More normal. Indians, blacks, whites, there were a lot of them in school. But Cho was the only ethnically Chinese girl, and only Asian girl in general in school now, and that wasn't normal. And that's what Harry wanted… someone normal. Cho got out of bed and walked over to the dresser with the large mirror, and sat down in the chair. She pulled out a drawer, and scavenged through the makeup, and eyeliner, until she found what she was looking for. It was Nancy's skin lightening cream. Nancy had bought it to lighten her freckles. Cho poured some into her hands and started rubbing it onto her face. She didn't want to be abnormal. She wanted to look like everyone else; she wanted Harry to look at her as he would anyone else. After all, look at the girls that he seemed to like; Hermione Granger, Fiona Burrows. They are lighter than me. Cho thought sadly, as she continued to rub the cream into her skin.
The door to her room finally opened, and Beverly walked in, and knelt down next to Cho.
"Cho… I, we really wish that you would talk to us about it. Please." Beverly pleaded.
"I can't Beverly, just… I'll be okay. Just please, I'm not able to talk about it. I can't explain it to you." Cho said sadly, still rubbing the lotion onto her. Beverly nodded reluctantly.
"Luan's outside. I know that your mad at her, and that this was some big secrete that you two had. But she feels awful, and she's really sorry for what she did. It was an accident, and she's crying about it for the past two hours. Cho maybe you should just talk to her." Beverly said.
"I don't want to talk to her about it. I don't want to see her. I'm still very mad at her. In my family we don't talk about family problems to other people, because it's no one's business who's not in the family. I could only confide in one person, to keep my sanity, and it was her. Now she's betrayed that trust. So I don't want to talk to anyone. I've just had the worst two years of my life, and I want to go home now, and just forget, about everything else." Cho said quietly.
"I understand Cho. It's been hell on you, I… what are you doing with Nancy's lotion." Beverly asked. Cho stopped what she was doing, and turned to Beverly.
"Well, I need to lighten my skin. I'm too dark. I just wanted to look more… normal. Harry only likes…" Cho started.
"Oh god Cho, don't tell me that you're doing that for Harry Potter! That stupid, racist git doesn't deserve to have you even look at him. Stop trying to be yourself, and just be happy with who you are. Who care's about what he wants. Maybe you haven't noticed, but all your friends are just fine with the way that you look, and so are the long list of guys that would love to have the privilege of going out with you. There is nothing wrong with the way that you look, there's only something wrong with Harry Potter, and other racist like him. Just forget about him. He's a bad guy Cho, I know he is. Just please I'm asking you as a friend forget about him. Cho, please." Beverly pleaded. Cho lowered her eyes to the bottle of cream that she held in her hands, and then back to Beverly.
"Your right, I'm sorry. I… he doesn't even like me. The funny thing is that he accused me of being a racist." Cho started to chuckle, but it turned to a cry as she put her head on Beverly's shoulder.
"I thought… I thought that I had run out of tears… I haven't…sob… cried all day. I wanted him to like me Beverly… I wanted him to like me so much… sob." Cho cried. Beverly patted her on the back.
"I know you did Cho. I don't know why, but I know you did." Beverly said. "Cho, is there anything that I can do for you, Nancy, Erica, and I… we want to help." Beverly continued with some tears of her own forming.
"Yes, I've already had my going away party… and…" Cho started.
"It's it wasn't much of a party." Beverly cut her off.
"It was before Marietta, and um. Well, when I leave on Saturday. I don't want a big crowd. I just want to go quietly from here. Can you help arrange for people not to be there?" Cho asked. Beverly nodded.
"I promise, I'll talk to Professor Flitwick about it. I still wish that you would change your mind about leaving permanently. We're all going to miss you." Beverly cried.
"I'm going to miss all of you too. But, I just don't belong here, I can't stay. In fact. I'm not going to class anymore. I'm going to turn my wand into Professor Flitwick tomorrow. Then just wait until the Hogwart's express leaves on Saturday." Cho said sadly. Beverly looked around the room, and then back at Cho.
"You will miss this place… but not as much as it will miss you." Beverly said with no emotion.
"I will, everything, the Great Hall, classes, the Quidditch pitch, the library, the teachers. Everything. But most of all, the people I've had the privilege of meeting here. I will miss everything." Cho finished. She excused herself for bed. Beverly left the room, to go and talk to her other roommates and friends about what had happened. Cho lay in bed, trying to sleep, and reflecting on the one thing that she would miss most off all about Hogwarts when she left. A boy with emerald green eyes, and messy black hair, that could never love her, because Beverly had been right. There was nothing wrong with the way that she looked, and if Harry Potter couldn't accept that, then that was his problem. Because Cho wasn't going to change herself for him. She would have Stephanie Burt return her hair to its natural Raven black color again tomorrow, if she would agree not to ask about her situation at home. But still, it was Harry Potter that she was thinking of when she drifted off to sleep. He would still be what she missed the most. And across the castle through tear-filled eyes, it was Harry Potter that thought about Cho. She was the one thing that he missed right now most, and it only hurt more when Hermione talking to him about Cho leaving for good. Harry's sleep that night would be restless from torment, and guilt of worrying about Cho. He would go to her tomorrow; I will fix it, somehow, I will fix it. He thought, as he drifted off to an unhappy sleep.