A rather different, rather small chapter.
I wrote this while listening/watching the Rooster Teeth 24-hour Extra Life stream, so I'm severely sleep deprived, 55 dollars poorer and very happy about a man in a gnome costume. So, basically, forgive me if there are several mistakes in this.
Please review if you liked this - I have a goal of getting 75 reviews for this story when it ends and there's only 2 chapters left - and, if you have no idea what Rooster Teeth is you should check it out
Dear Eleanor,
I haven't talked to you in three days. Why am I writing? Like, I'll never send you this. I don't even know how to write a letter. Am I doing this right? Lysander told me that this would help me get my feelings out. This is not working, Lysander is a fucking liar.
I shouldn't have yelled at you, now that I stop and think about it. It was stupid. I'm sorry.
Lys says I should confess my feelings for you, but I'm not sure I have them quite figured out just yet. I like you, I know that. Fuck, maybe I love you. I don't think this is working. Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore.
Sweet Amoris, 21st January, 2015
Dear Eleanor,
Lysander said that this is the proper way of writing a letter, with the date and place on top. Why? I don't get it. It's completely useless, I mean, it just makes no sense.
Anyway.
I should maybe just… tell you how I feel, 'cause I'm writing this to tell you so…
I love you. I really do. And I know you found your soulmate but I need to tell you, you know? For a while I thought you could have been my soulmate. Guess I was wrong then. One heartbreak closer to happily ever after.
I hope you are doing okay, and I hope you're happy with Dakota. He'd better treat you well, otherwise I'm gonna hunt him down!
Please forgive me.
Love,
Castiel
Sweet Amoris, 22nd January, 2015
Dear Elly,
Demon broke my coffee pot today.
Remember the day of the storm? We got really close because of that. And because of your stupid game I didn't want to play.
Do you know when you love someone so much it hurts? It hurt because you're not here, because you never will. Because we're not mean to be and it hurts me but it doesn't hurt you. Funny, right?
There were load of things that reminded me of you on the TV today. Pretty much everything reminds me of you, to be honest.
Hope you are doing well.
I'll never send you these letters, so I don't really know.
Love you,
Castiel
Sweet Amoris, 23rd January, 2015
Dear Eleanor,
Demon is lying in the backyard being a useless shit like always. He may miss you. I do.
Today I felt like smoking, so I went to the store and bought a pack, but, as soon as I took one, I heard your voice in my head saying "It's a terrible habit and it's going to kill you someday" and I felt disgusted at myself for ever thinking it was a good idea.
Remember when I stopped smoking and I lied saying it wasn't because of you? I'm a sack of shit, I was always lying to you.
Love,
Castiel
Sweet Amoris, 24th January, 2015
Dear Eleanor,
I have never written a love letter before, and I don't think the previous letters count. So, that said, please don't kill me if this comes out wrong and ridiculous and stuff. Can I say "stuff" in love letters? God, this is difficult.
Eleanor, I have loved you from the day we met. I just didn't know it and I thought love was a strong word, but when I use it to describe what I feel for you, well… it's too weak. Not enough.
Ana, I used to think you looked like her – minus the blue hair – but now she looks like you and I don't know why but I'm actually seeing your face everywhere. You are even on my mirror. That picture we took on Christmas. You look beautiful. I want to punch the mirror again.
I don't think I really understand you just yet and I am sorry for what I said the other day. I just want you to know that you are really important to me.
Please forgive me.
With love,
Castiel.
Sweet Amoris, 26th January, 2015
Dear Eleanor,
It's two in the morning and I took seventeen shots of vodka trying to forget your name, but the only name I forgot was mine and I miss you so much, because you are here, but you are also not at the same time, and sober or drunk you are the only thing I can think about lately.
Love,
Castiel
Sweet Amoris, 28th January, 2015
Dear Eleanor,
I fucked up.
Castiel.