Selim had long since become used to the nightmares. They happened on a regular basis and he'd had them ever since he could remember. Over the years, he had forced himself to learn to deal with the horrific images, cold feelings and downright sickening ideas those dreams brought. Only when he was particularly tired or just dozing did he tend to have dreamless sleep.
"Selim."
He hated it when he had to wake up from those blissfully restful nights where the dreams didn't plague him. That, and he felt particularly tired at the moment, like he hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep in months. Hadn't he just closed his eyes?
"Five more minutes," he muttered. Somewhere in his mind, he was vaguely surprised at himself. It had been years since he'd said something like that.
"Selim, the train's about to leave, get up!"
"Train?" he muttered, regrettably forcing his eyes open. All that met him was darkness and a face barely visible from the light shining through the window. It was surrounded by black frizz. "Mandy?"
She sighed and nodded before switching to shaking her head, obviously not in the mood to joke or giggle like normal. Actually, now that he looked hard enough, she seemed rather droopy-eyed too.
"We can sleep in the station," she muttered. Nodding, Selim gathered his bag (now almost empty of food despite Mr. Corrins' warning) and the hat that had fallen off when he'd struggled to get up. Slowly, they stumbled out of the car and onto the platform.
In the dark, Selim could only just make out old and small, but well kept buildings that could barely pass for a station.
"Where do we go?" he mumbled tiredly.
Mandy shrugged. After a few minutes, one of the security men from the train saw them just standing there in a tired daze and took pity on them.
"Just head over there," he said simply, pointing to a door. "The waiting room is inside."
"Thanks," Mandy muttered and started off in the general direction the man had pointed to.
"No problem," he called after her.
It took every ounce of will just for Selim to keep his eyes open. He fixed the goal of finding somewhere to sleep in his mind and refused to let go of the thought until he found a decent place. Somehow, he doubted the open-aired train platform counted. Desperate for anything to keep his mind going, he scanned their surroundings blearily and found, to his surprise, that the station stood empty. "Were there any other passengers that got off with us?" he asked, glancing behind him at the train.
"Don't know. Don't care," Mandy replied, words slurring together slightly.
Selim nodded in agreement, conceding the point despite the fact that she couldn't see him. Somehow, they made it to the door of the station, and she opened it. Stumbling inside, they found a modest selection of chairs and benches waiting for them.
Without a second thought, they both managed to collapse on opposing sides of the closest section and in moments, they were out.
xXx
Mrs. Baker sat dumbly in her chair, feet tucked neatly to the side as she stared blankly out the window. Two military officers she hadn't seen in over a year sat in front of her now. The tea on the table had long since cooled, and none of the three cups had been emptied.
The fact that these two had come to see her proved the dire nature of the situation—not that she hadn't known that to begin with. After all, she'd been told by the military government several times that they would keep an eye on her son.
The worst part was, she couldn't really bring herself to blame them.
"Mrs. Br—Baker?" Major General Mustang ventured, breaking the still silence that had fallen over the room.
"N-new Optain?"
"Yes," the dark-haired man said with a nod. "And we lost his trail from there."
"They're going to kill him, aren't they," she whispered, speaking the question as more of a statement.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the two exchange glances. "Not if we can help it, Ma'am," Lt. Hawkeye said. A lieutenant speaking out without verbal consent? She almost shook her head at the lack of decorum, but otherwise would have smiled at exchange. She couldn't bring herself to disapprove. Their particular relationship had always amused her and she took what comfort she could from the normalcy of it now.
After a moment, she sighed. "You don't have to keep the pretense up, Lieutenant, General. I can't say I would blame you if you took this chance to rid yourselves of him permanently. You have always had your reasons to...dislike him."
"With all due respect, Ma'am," the General spoke up with a hard edge, "we will treat this like a normal kidnapping and return him to you as quickly as we can unless we have proof that other action is needed."
She couldn't help the slight waver that came to her voice as she turned to look back out the window. "He can die, you know. He heals and grows like a normal human being; he hasn't manifested any powers. I know you've never cared for him, General," she turned to glance at him, eyes pleading, "but he's still my son. He's all I have left."
She didn't hear the man sigh, but she could read the sentiment in his expression. "Mrs. Baker, you have my word. If we find him and he does not require medical attention and has not regained any harmful memories, we will release him into your custody as soon as we can get him back to Central."
His words meant more to her than he realized. He'd been one of the people who had suffered most because of Selim. To this day, his dark eyes still remained slightly milky, a testament of his bout with and success over an unnatural blindness. However, she was not by any means naïve, and caught the threat that his words also carried.
"And if he has...remembered?" She asked softly.
He didn't answer for several minutes. He didn't need to. When he finally opened his mouth, it was only to confirm what all of them already knew. "We will do what we have to. I'm sorry."
She couldn't answer him, so she glanced back at the window, willing her already broken heart to be still and mentally preparing herself to pick up the pieces when what was left of it shattered.
"Please," she muttered to the window. "Please be safe, and please be my Selim."
xXx
When Selim awoke the next morning, he felt infinitely better. It had been a long time since he'd slept that well. Of course, he hadn't been that tired in a while too. It seemed that the shadow thing took a lot out of him.
His eyes flew open as the previous night came to mind. A sense of excitement at his accomplishment and the innate desire to show it off bubbled up again in his chest and he couldn't help but shake his head at the childish feeling. He didn't need anyone's approval, although he was going to thank Mandy for her suggestion, and she'd undoubtedly want proof.
Sitting up, he began to notice how stiff his body was from sleeping on the hard, train-station bench. With a wince and a sigh, he began to stretch, trying to loosen the protesting muscles.
"So you're finally awake," Mandy's voice came from behind him. He managed to twist his body without hurting too much, eyes sweeping over the fairly plain waiting area to land on her. She sat behind him reading a local paper like it was the most offensive thing on the planet. He'd never seen that annoyed of an expression on her face.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, voice still thick with sleep.
"Oh nothing," she said with fake nonchalance. "I'm just a little ticked that we came all this way for nothing." With that, she shot him a glare.
"What do you mean?" he asked, a little annoyed that he sounded so confused. He must have been really tired last night.
She folded the small paper and set it aside, now fully scowling at him. "The Elrics are gone. Have been for a few weeks. Apparently they went to Xing to visit relatives or something. We wasted all of that time for nothing."
Selim felt his heart sink at each of her words, and when she'd finished her explanation, he slumped back against the bench in defeat. It didn't take him too long to realize that Mandy hadn't stopped glaring at him.
"What?" he asked, returning the sentiment. "Why are you angry at me?"
"You didn't even check to make sure he would be here?" she asked.
"It was kind of a last moment decision," Selim defended. "As I recall, you were there when I made it."
"I guess your act of responsibility took me in. I just assumed you would have done your homework."
That got on Selim's nerves more than he would care to admit. "Since there obviously is a way for me to pry into a complete stranger's life and make sure he'd be where I need him to be," he defended with a growl.
"It would just take a phone call. Phones aren't that difficult to come by," Mandy responded.
"Of course," Selim replied, his own false nonchalance completely in place. "I can imagine that conversation: 'I'm just calling to see if Mr. Elric is there. Oh no, there's no reason why I'm calling to the only public phone in the town instead of actually sending a telegram to ask them. Oh, by the way, do they even have a phone?'" he shot her a dry look. "Phones are still expensive enough out here in the rural areas that the chances of finding one are minuscule at best."
"The older Elric brother's wife is an automail specialist. She has to have a phone. It wouldn't be that difficult to get that number!" Her voice had risen as she continued.
In contrast, his had begun to quiet down. "Forgive me for not knowing personal details like that. I don't usually make a habit of stalking people."
"Stalking? It's simple logic and facts!"
"Why are you so upset?" Selim responded. "Are you angry that we missed them or are you angry because a run away such as yourself obviously has somewhere else to be?"
He could tell that he'd gone too far, but he refused to back down. He was right, after all. Why should he?
"The recruiting," she responded, sounding a little more subdued, and far more hurt. "For the alchemy. It may be over."
"Then why did you accompany me?"
"For the reward!"
Selim almost couldn't stop the grin of triumph from spreading across his face. Game; set; match. "And which is more important to you? My reward and meeting the alchemists, or finding a job, because I doubt this hasn't crossed your mind before. You obviously wanted to come here and meet the Elrics as much as I did and you took that chance. Now that your gamble didn't pay off, you are simply taking your anger out on me. Please refrain from doing so as it is not only misplaced but almost more annoying than your normal personality."
For several minutes she just sat there watching him, that same mask of inexpression on her face. Then she reached down and calmly picked up the paper, stood up and strode rather purposefully away from him. As she passed, she dropped a ticket onto the seat next to him. Before he could bring himself to ask about it, she'd left the station.
Blinking a little in surprise, he glanced down at the ticket and picked it up. It would take him all the way back to Central. She'd probably spent the last of her money on this ticket, and then she'd just left... Apparently he'd said enough that even the reward wasn't worth his company anymore.
His gaze turned back to the door she'd disappeared through and he suddenly felt empty. He'd won the argument and kept his pride intact, but had it really been worth it to hurt her so obviously, especially when she was still trying to look out for him? He should apologize, but something inside of him really didn't want to.
Caught in his miniature dilemma, he sat on the bench until the train back to East City came about an hour later, apparently making its return trip. Knowing that she had to be on the train too, he kept an eye out for her, hoping at least that they wouldn't part on such bad terms.
He didn't see her.
It wasn't until about half an hour into the trip that he realized he hadn't ever thanked her or told her about his new control over the shadows.
Of course, that only made him feel worse.
xXx
He reached East City with no problems at all whatsoever. Apparently his hat did its job at hiding his identity well. Either that or the general human populace just didn't care. He wouldn't be surprised if either or both were true.
After being told that there would be a three hour stop here to restock the coal and give their passengers a break, he decided to get off instead of staying and waiting on the very warm, stuffy train. He felt relieved to finally be heading home. Relieved and strangely depressed, although for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. He'd even gotten rid of the annoying chatterbox (even if he did feel a little bad about that).
So why did he find himself hoping for a problem to arise—with the train perhaps; something that would just give him a few extra hours, or a day? He couldn't quite figure it out. He was looking forward to seeing his mother and the servants again. It would be difficult, getting used to new bodyguards (he felt a pang of regret and thankfulness for Sam and Nick), but there were other servants he'd come to like who would still be there. The maid that liked to tell him jokes, for instance. Or Mrs. Ecklestein, the cook who would let him sneak spoonfuls of the not-yet-finished desserts. Oh yes, once he got back he'd ask for a feast. With how he felt now, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to eat enough to appease his stomach. Throughout his little adventure, he'd tried to hold back on his rather insatiable appetite and once he got home he could eat his fill. He also wanted to see Johan again, even if they still couldn't be friends.
Besides, they all needed to know that he was alright.
So why did he feel so reluctant? Was it because he hadn't gotten the answers he'd wanted? Thinking about it, he decided that that did have something to do with it, but it wasn't the main problem. As he sat in the train station, chewing on the last of the bread and cheese Mr. Corrins had packed for him, he couldn't seem to come up with an answer.
Why didn't he want to go home?
Frustrated at himself, he decided to explore more of his control over shadows while he mulled the question over. Closing his eyes, he focused on his own shadow. It took longer than it had the second time the night before, but he was finally able to establish a connection. It took him a moment to get to a point where the additional sensory input didn't completely overwhelm him. Initially he began to try and focus on one eye (or 'window', as he decided to call them), and was rather proud of himself for being able to do so. All he found he needed to do was close the other eyes.
Briefly he wondered just how many windows he could open, but didn't want to press his luck. He'd been so drained from doing this the night before, and he'd be heading back to New Optain again. There shouldn't be a problem if he just passed through on the train, but there was still an uncomfortable possibility that he'd meet his kidnappers again.
Than again, he could defend himself this time, but only if he wasn't dead to the world because he'd tired himself out practicing and playing around with the shadows. After about ten minutes of experimenting with the windows, he closed all of them and started trying to move the shadows subtly—as he was not by any means the only person in the large, brick station so at odds with the small, wooden one in Risembool.
He found it simultaneously easy and difficult to keep the shadow movement small and realized that true control would take a while. No one noticed though, even when he accidentally had one shadow move too much or made it bigger than he originally wanted to.
After several blatant dismissals, he decided to test just how stupid the people around him were. He'd find a target, and then move the shadows at their feet until they noticed. Once they did a double take, he'd release control and they'd only find a simple shadow under their scrutiny. For some reason he found this act satisfying and entertaining.
Then he felt just the slightest throb from his forehead.
Stupid humans. Selim almost jumped, losing control over one particular shadow he'd been using to try and get one man's attention as he read a book. He whipped around in his chair. It had almost sounded like someone had whispered in his ear.
"What? Who was that?" He asked, whirling around in the opposite direction, but no one behind him seemed to be interested in his antics. The only person who had taken a seat particularly near him that remained awake was an older woman who glanced over with a curious and rather disdainful look.
Brow furrowing, he leaned back into his chair. Great, now he was hearing things. Sighing, he glanced at the giant clock set on the wall between a large pair of windows. He still felt the little things he'd been doing with the shadows had taken their toll, and he decided to try and relax until they called for boarding on the train again. It was awfully warm in here too. He took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his head. Maybe he should have stayed on the train. Too late now.
After fanning himself a bit, he replaced the hat and slumped against the seat's back. He'd only just gotten comfortable when a shadow fell over him.
"Well look what we have here," a familiar voice had Selim's blood running cold and his eyes snapped up to the large man standing before him and the woman standing beside him with her arms folded.
"Oh look, Marlin, we caught our little runaway monster," the blond-haired woman said with a predatory grin. "Whatever will we do with him?
Selim gulped. They'd found him, and this time he wouldn't have any help come to the rescue. He tensed up and reached for the shadows.
"Where's your little friend?" Marlin asked, looking around at the passengers that had taken up temporary residence in the waiting room.
Selim's mouth formed a thin line. "She'll be right back."
"Is that right?" Marlin asked as he took a seat next to Selim. Then he glanced up at the woman who continued to stand there uncomfortably, a hand on her darkly tinted glasses. "Just sit down, Bonnie."
She sighed and took a seat on the other side of Selim. He glanced around. If he made a break for it now, and they pulled out weapons, innocent people might get hurt.
Who cares? They're worthless. He jumped again at that voice. Where was it coming from? He didn't dare look around this time, too stiff and tense with his kidnappers sitting beside him.
"Listen, kid," Bonnie said with a sigh, "we wanted to apologize."
Selim blinked, creepy voice momentarily forgotten as he looked over at her. "Excuse me?"
"We've decided to cut all ties with the FFO," Marlin replied, sounding more than a bit put out.
"Why?" Selim asked.
Bonnie shrugged. "The original ideals behind the FFO were to reform the government. Then they got this new leader, this Clemin guy you were talking about, I guess." Selim's frown deepened, but he didn't say anything so she continued. "He's only been at the head for a few months and he's already changed it so much. Now it's more about taking over the current government than anything."
"And you disagree?" Selim asked.
"We agree the government needs to change," Marlin's gruff voice interjected. "But the FFO's new ideas aren't going to change anything."
"It'll just make it worse," Bonnie muttered, playing with her glasses again. Now that she was so close, he could actually see her eyes through the sunglasses and blinked.
"You're eyes...they're red," he said.
She shot him a glare than looked away. Now that he looked he could see her hair had been died to look blond. A very convincing blond.
"You're Ishbalan," he stated, blinking in surprise.
"So what of it?" she growled.
"N-nothing," Selim responded, taken aback by her attitude. "I'm just wondering why you're hiding it. Weren't the laws against the Ishbalans lifted after the coup?"
"Changing a few laws doesn't get rid of the prejudice," she responded with a sigh.
"But your people helped to save the country!"
She shook her head. "And before that how many lives were lost in a pointless war? Some things take longer than a few decades to change."
They sat there in silence for several minutes. Finally Selim got tired of the tense atmosphere and spoke again. "So why are you guys here if you're not following me?"
Marlin scoffed. "Are you joking? We thought you'd high-tailed it back to Central. Made straight for the train station, but never caught you. We even tried following you on foot. That' when we split up with Falk."
"The sniper?" Selim asked dryly.
"Yeah," Bonnie said with a shake of her head. "We split up because he was sure you'd head back to central and he thought we were slowing him down." She scoffed. "I'm surprised he didn't just kill us right then and there."
"Me too," Selim muttered, a slight shudder at the memory of the thin man, suddenly very glad he'd decided to head down to Risembool. Was returning to Central now a good idea if that sniper would be there waiting for him?
"Anyway, we had no clue you'd take the long way around just to avoid us. Good job, kid," Bonnie said, sounding more than a little begrudging.
"And why should I suddenly believe that you don't want to have anything to do with me?" Selim asked, realizing he'd begun to relax. Immediately he stiffened up again. These two had kidnapped him before. Why should he trust them? "What brought about this change?"
The two exchanged glances, then Bonnie sighed. "We got word that they were behind the supposed alchemist jobs your friend was talking about. Problem is there have been rumors of some of them disappearing." Selim forcefully swallowed the lump that rose in his throat. Well that didn't sound foreboding at all. "And there have been even more rumors about FFO amassing an army to go against Central."
"What?" Selim blurted out. "We have to warn Central then!"
"Calm down, kid," Marlin muttered. "They already know. Been making preparations themselves, getting non-military families out of Central all quiet like for the past few days."
"You can tell them when you get back, if you want," Bonnie added. "We don't care. You can call them now even."
"What are you doing then?" Selim asked.
"We're heading to Xing."
"Xing?" Selim asked. "Why?"
"We're not going to be a part of a war if we can help it," Bonnie replied. Marlin gave a firm nod in agreement. "Besides," she continued, "we're not exactly the most upstanding citizens, if you know what I mean. As far as we can see it, we don't have much of a choice."
Selim scowled but didn't respond. Worthless cowards. The voice said again. Selim jumped.
"What's wrong with you?" Marlin asked. "You're awfully jumpy."
The dark-haired teen's heart sank. If they hadn't heard that... "I am sitting here with two people who kidnapped me," he muttered defensively. Probably not a good idea to let them know he was hearing a voice that didn't seem to care for them.
Of course the 'hearing a voice' thing didn't bode well for him either.
"Anyway, we wanted to warn you about Falk. You may want to find somewhere else to hole up for a while." Marlin said as he stood up.
"Now that we told you, consider us even," Bonnie muttered. "See you around, kid."
Selim wasn't normally an impulsive person. He liked to study and think things through. He didn't do so well thinking on his feet, so to speak. As such, he took his time coming to conclusions when he had to, and it didn't bother him.
At that moment, he had three thoughts in mind: One: He couldn't go back to Central without risking his life, and potentially the life of others around him. Two: He had a new, rather creepy voice in his head that seemed to like to belittle those around him (although he hoped that one would go away if he just ignored it). Three: He needed answers, no one wanted to give him, and the only people he knew of who might be both able and willing to do so were in Xing at the moment.
"Wait," he said after the two adults' retreating backs. They paused and glanced back at him. He mentally smacked himself. What was he doing?
"What?" Marlin asked gruffly.
Selim swallowed and felt his fists clench at his side. This was a rather unique chance after all, if (perhaps) not the most intelligent. "D...do you have room for one more?"