What am I dong? Seriously, what am I doing? Selim asked himself over and over again as he sat by the side of the train tracks a little over a mile away from the station. And since when did I start trusting these two? He glanced to the side to see his two kidnappers waiting patiently for the train to pass by.

"This is going to be difficult," Bonnie whispered, loudly enough for them to hear.

Marlin seemed to have taken it upon himself to explain all of his companion's words to Selim. Apparently, she didn't have the patience for such things. Selim found it a bit entertaining seeing as he'd taken the man as someone who didn't actually say much and his companion to be the one who explained. "We have to come at the train from this side, or the engineer might see us," he said. "Actually, they still might, if we're not lucky. We wait for the box cars at the back of the train, and at least two must pass before we can even come out. On a normal train that leaves us about three until the caboose. If we don't make it by the caboose, the conductors there will see us and we'll have to high-tail it out of here."

Selim raised an eyebrow at his wording. 'High-tail' wasn't exactly a word he would have expected to come from the man with the most cultured accent he'd met on his excursion. Marlin ignored the expression and continued. "It's going to be tough because it's a straight shot from the station, so if anyone is looking they probably will see us. That's why we had to get out this far. The train is going to be moving pretty fast by the time it gets here. If you can't get on by the time the beginning of the second to last box gets to you, duck and run back down by the side of the road or you'll put us in danger too."

"If you can't make it, kid, you're on your own," Bonnie muttered.

"I'll keep up," Selim responded with a scowl.

The man shrugged, scratching his gray head before he checked the straps on his backpack for what seemed like the thirtieth time. Bonnie didn't so much as acknowledge him. She seemed a little different from when he'd last spoken with her; colder and more stand-offish. Marlin, in comparison, seemed to have warmed up to him.

They had been waiting for almost an hour so far and he still couldn't believe he was waiting to illegally hitch a train ride to a country he would illegally sneak into with two criminals who had kidnapped him so he could find two Alchemists who might give him some answers about his heritage (and maybe the stupid voice that still seemed to like to pop up every now and then).

Selim shuddered. The last time said voice had said something, it had told Selim he didn't need these people (well, it had called them scum, but that was the gist of it). He sighed and turned to look back down towards the station, and that's when he caught the change of smell in the air.

"Uh, I'll be right back," he said suddenly, not waiting for a response.

The land surrounding East City consisted of a lot of fields and a smattering of trees across them. The fields behind Selim actually had several trees lining it. That's where he headed, hopping a fence and coming to rest in the corner of a field that had obviously already been harvested that year. The mud he landed in attested to that.

"What is it with you and mud?" he asked, annoyed.

"Have you lost your mind?" A high-pitched voice hissed back. "What are you doing with them?"

Mandy peeked carefully around the tree, her hair out of the frizz and back into the curls. Apparently she'd found some place to wash up.

"Uh..." Selim started, then stopped, trying to think of what he could actually say to her. He could lie, but he didn't see much of a need to. She took his pause as an invitation to continue.

"You do realize those are the people that kidnapped you, dragged you out here, and were planning on handing you over to someone who may very well have wanted you dead, right?"

Selim shrugged, uncaring. "Yes. They've since apologized and warned me of some danger."

She turned to stare at him incredulously. "Seriously? You believe them?"

"They are leaving the country."

"What does that have to do with anything? Maybe they're going to meet their employer!"

"They were working for the FFO before."

Mandy glared at him. "So they say! We have no reason to believe them!" No, he really didn't. But something else had come up.

Pathetic. Kill her and forget about this. Selim almost gasped. Kill? Okay, that definitely wasn't good.

"The Elrics are in Xing."

"So you plan on going into a country, without papers of any sort, and then you want to traipse all over it, without any money, with the two people who wanted to kidnap you, so that you can find two alchemists who may or may not still be there so you can get some answers about your father? Answers, which by the way, you've been living without for fifteen years." Her voice had raised several notches towards the end of her little run-on sentence.

Selim thought about it. When she put it that way, it did sound rather stupid. It also sounded like a bit of fun. It would definitely be safer than facing Falk.

"Yeah, basically," he said finally and turned to go.

"Selim, no! Stop acting so childish!" She said as she practically leapt forward and grabbed his coat.

"Maybe I am acting childish," he responded calmly, even as he shook off her hand. "But I have thought this through. Do you remember their third companion? The sniper you never got to see? He's not with them anymore. He's at my house, waiting for me to come waltzing up."

Mandy stopped and stared at him for a few seconds, before her brow furrowed in anger. "So we'll talk to the police! Or the military!"

"The police and military are busy planning for a possible invasion by the FFO."

"In Central!"

Selim smiled. It wasn't friendly. "So, you heard about it too? They told me that," he gestured towards where the two adults crouched. "Doesn't that make the rest of their information more plausible?"

"No! No it doesn't!"

"And why should I trust you any more?" Selim asked. "You who just left me to make my own way back?"

"I followed you here! I'm trying to keep you safe!"

Selim scoffed. "Fat lot of good you did. You make a lousy bodyguard."

"At least I'm trying not to get you killed!" Somewhere along the line she'd seemed to have forgotten that they were whispering for a reason. "Something which you suddenly seem completely intent on doing! Now, you are coming with me!"

With that, she reached over to grab him. His eyes hardened and he glanced down at his shadow. The darkness came up and wrapped itself around her arm just as she grabbed him again.

Immediately, she stopped, staring at the dark loop before turning to look back at Selim. He didn't like what he saw there. Surprise, wonder, and more than a little fear. Some part of him almost reveled in that, but he really didn't care for the truth of that fact.

"B-but, I thought you couldn't control it..."

Selim deflated, looking away. "Your suggestion. It wasn't right on, but it helped. A lot. I never got the chance to thank you. I still can't control it all that well, but they obey me now; the shadows." He sighed and glanced back up at her. "This is proof that I'm not normal, Mandy. I have to get these answers. And if I have to go tear another country apart to figure this out, then I will."

"And why can't we just go back and wait in Risembool?"

"Did you ask when they were coming back?"

She shook her head and sighed, letting go of his arm. "No, but it can't be that long."

"I need these answers, and I need them as soon as possible, before something happens, like I lose control of them." Or the voice in his head actually convinced him that he should hurt or kill someone.

"And how do you think you'll manage to get into Xing?"

He shrugged. "Sneak in."

"You do realize that that will probably consist of walking for several miles through a desert, right?"

No, he hadn't realized that, but that didn't lessen his resolve any. So he shrugged. "I'll deal."

She put a hand up to the bridge of her nose, massaging it.

"You're awfully stubborn, brat. You know that?" Selim didn't respond. After a few seconds, she threw her hands up into the air. "Fine," she muttered, "then I'm coming with you."

Selim raised an eyebrow as he caused the shadow to release her arm. "That's an awfully long way to go for a meal ticket."

She shot a glare at him. "This stopped being about a meal ticket the moment you decided that those two would be good playmates," she muttered dryly. "Can't we catch our own train?"

"Next one leaves next week," he muttered. "It's now or we may as well go wait in Risembool."

"I still think that would be a better idea."

"Yes," Selim admitted. "Probably, but I'm still doing this. Are you coming?"

She sighed again. "Yeah."

They hopped the fence, landing in the long grass that lined the tracks and started walking back. As they did so, Selim glanced over at Mandy, and realized just what he was dragging her into, and what she was willing to do for him, even after he'd been mean enough that she hadn't even wanted to approach him. Maybe it really wasn't all about the meal ticket anymore.

"Hey, I'm...sorry for what I said back in Risembool," he found himself muttering, ignoring the vague sense of disapproval and betrayal that drifted to him from the back of his mind somewhere.

She sighed. "You were right. I was taking it out on you when it really wasn't all your fault and I did think about going to Risembool first, over the job thing. I was acting just as childishly as you were."

"If not more so," Selim returned.

She elbowed him with a scowl. "Don't know if I'd go that far." They took the next few steps in a contemplative silence before she spoke again. "Do you really find me that annoying?"

Selim winced inwardly, but again, he didn't see much of a point in lying. "Uh, yeah, I kinda do."

Instead of looking offended, she seemed to think about this for a second, looking up at the sky. "I guess that's a good thing," she said, half to herself.

"Seriously?" Selim asked. "You like to annoy people?"

She chuckled. "Of course not, sweetie. Only you."

He'd take that as an 'I forgive you.'

"Will you two get down?" Bonnie's voice hissed at them. "The train's coming!"

"Right," Selim responded, ducking down and hurrying towards the two figures he'd left behind only minutes before.

"Nice to see you decided not to ditch your girlfriend," Marlin muttered.

"I didn't ditch—hey, girlfriend?"

Marlin chuckled, Mandy giggled, and Bonnie rolled her eyes while Selim blushed. He'd never thought about Mandy like that. First of all, she was older. He'd never gone for older women (well, women in general really as he tended to not be so good around girls). Second of all...she was Mandy.

Disgusting. Selim gulped and looked away from all of them, although this time it wasn't out of embarrassment.

Shut up, he told it.

So, you finally acknowledge me?

Face drawing into a scowl, he purposefully looked down the tracks at the approaching train. The voice chuckled, but thankfully didn't say anything else.

By the time the train had reached them, it had already picked up a good deal of speed. Selim began to doubt whether he could actually catch it.

"Now!" Marlin said, jumping up and scrambling up the side of the tracks. He caught the handle on the side fairly easily and swung in between the carts. Bonnie was right behind him, pulling herself up expertly, even if she did almost trip. Selim was next. The handle hanging off of the side of the car was almost too high for him, but he had little trouble keeping up with the train. It just took a bit of a jump, and he was up. Then he looked back at Mandy. She kept trying to reach for it, but had already fallen a few feet behind.

Determined, she looked down at the ground in front of her, obviously concentrating on moving faster, but the train was still gaining speed. She wasn't going to make it, and there was nothing he could...

An idea came to his mind. He realized he didn't have a lot of time to think about it and threw caution to the wind. Concentrating, he focused on his shadow, now mixed with the shadow of the box car, and threw it out. It obeyed his will, reaching out and catching her arm before dragging her forward with a yelp. He caught one hand while the other caught the handle.

"Thanks," she gasped as she pulled herself up beside him.

"No problem," Selim grinned and turned to see that Marlin had indeed gotten the door open. They quickly filed inside.

"Close the door," Bonnie said.

"We need to make spaces behind the luggage," Marlin explained. "Small, separate areas so that if one of us is found, the rest of us won't be."

"Right," Selim responded, moving to a corner of the room and working to shift the bags, boxes and chests that had been piled there. The other three took to their own corners and began to do the same.

Marlin continued to explain, even as he worked on his own space. "Once the conductor comes through, count to twenty and then come back here so we can tell you what's going on. It may take an hour for him to come through, it may take minutes. That's why we've got to hurry."

"So shut up, and keep working," Bonnie hissed.

"What's wrong with you?" Marlin returned.

Bonnie huffed. "Nothing. Just hurry."

They each managed to scoot enough to the side to have a small space just for themselves. Selim looked at his rather tiny clearing with growing unease. They wouldn't be able to have lights either. At least it wouldn't be completely closed off.

"Now get inside, and stay quiet," he heard Bonnie say and turned around just in time to see her disappear behind some boxes. Selim had to admit, he was impressed. It didn't even look like there was any space available back there at all. She was the first to really get done. Mandy was second, surprisingly. Probably because of her slight frame.

"Do you need some help, Marlin?" Selim asked once he was satisfied with his hiding place.

"Nah. Always takes me longer. Get hiding."

Selim nodded and took a deep breath. I'll be fine, I'll be fine, he told himself as he climbed over the boxes he needed to and hunkered down. Enough light came through the cracks of the train for him to not totally freak out, but he did not by any means feel comfortable.

After about twenty minutes, the discomfort had grown into a mild panic that he was trying his best to stave off. If this continued, Selim thought he'd go mad, and was just about to say so aloud when he heard the door open. Light flooded into the room, and he let out a small sigh of relief. Thankfully, the noise of the train covered it. The person picked his way through the cluttered compartment, approaching Selim's hiding place. Then he paused. Selim held his breath, scrunching down against the wall and put a hand over his mouth. Then he heard a jangle of keys, the door near him opened again, and then closed.

Selim forced himself to slowly count to twenty. When he hit nineteen, Marlin spoke up. "Alright, it's safe to come out now."

Grateful, Selim stood up. He could not get out into the open fast enough.

"Alright," Marlin said. "We have anywhere from fifteen to forty-five minutes before he comes back, so let's hurry. First of all, who is our last minute traveling companion?"

"Oh, I'm Mandy," she said with a grin. "I'm more or less a wandering alchemist."

"You want to collect the reward for bringing him back badly enough that you'd follow him all the way to Xing?" Marlin asked.

"How did you know that?"

Marlin thumbed over to Selim, who shrugged. He'd told them a bit about her before when they'd asked. Mandy glared at him for a moment before her smile returned and she looked back at Marlin. "Wandering Alchemists never really know when they'll be able to get their next pay check. You know?"

He nodded slightly. "True enough. My name is Marlin and this is Bonnie. Former bounty hunters."

"Pleased to meet you."

Marlin paused, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Alright, I was rather annoyed, but I can get along with whoever I need to get along with. Therefore I'm pleased to meet you."

"You're the kind of person that never gets upset, aren't you," Bonnie said, her voice dry.

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Mandy replied with a smile.

"Anyway, let me go over what is going to happen. There is a turn towards the Xingese boarder, about fourteen or so miles from the first stop. That's where we need to get off."

"In the middle of the desert?" Mandy asked unsurely.

Marlin nodded. "If we wait until after that, we risk too much of a chance at being caught. The station is almost directly on the boarder and there's at least one watchtower that we know of. It's a bit of a walk, but it's also out best chance. Fortunately, it's also the desert at a low altitude so we will have to worry more about sunburn and heat exhaustion than about winter cold.

"Right," Mandy said with a sigh, then turned to glare at Selim. "You'd better have them triple my reward."

"Hey, you didn't have to come," he replied.

"If we can skip the banter please," Bonnie muttered.

Marlin took out a compass and held it up. "We're going to walk far enough North that we shouldn't have a problem with any border patrols. The biggest problem after that will be getting the help we need. I don't suppose either one of you know Xingese." Both Selim and Mandy shook their heads. "Then just stick to the idea that we need to keep up a pretense of dumb tourists. Avoid police if possible. Once we get there, we may split up. Depends on how much you get on Bonnie's nerves."

The blond slapped his arm, but it was obvious she had no real harmful intent.

Marlin grinned at her teasingly before turning back to them. "If we all get into trouble, keep quiet and let Bonnie do the talking. She can talk herself out of just about anything."

"That's why you were doing all the talking when it came to Falk," Selim said.

Marlin and Bonnie both nodded.

"Falk?" Mandy asked.

"The sniper," Selim said absently.

"You could see how dangerous he was too, huh," Marlin asked.

Selim nodded. "Yes. I haven't felt that kind of malice since..." the black-haired man in his dream.

"Since?" Mandy asked.

"I guess...I never have really," Selim muttered, scratching the back of his head and looking away.

"Anyway, we'll let you know when we're slowing down and when we'll jump," Marlin said. "Until then, try to stay inside your hiding place and be as quiet as possible. If you snore, don't fall asleep. Well, that's all we have to say. Now, get back to your hiding places before our man returns. Once he leaves we have no idea when he'll come back so make sure you stay down and hidden."

They all nodded and turned to their respective places. Selim couldn't help but pause and gulp as he looked back at his corner. He'd made his large enough to easily fit him and probably one or two other people (as long as they weren't Marlin's size) there too, but it didn't help. He still felt enclosed and trapped. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so dark.

"Come on, Selim," he muttered to himself. "You can do it."

Reluctantly, he climbed over the boxes and baggage, then stood in his little space, unwilling to sit back down until he absolutely had to. When he remained standing, he didn't feel so trapped. It wasn't all that easy to actually stay upright with the movement of the car, but he managed for more than half an hour. Then the conductor came back. As soon as the door opened again, he gritted his teeth and ducked back down.

Just as before, the man walked through without pausing until he got to the other side and stepped out with a jangle of keys. Selim closed his eyes and imagined he was somewhere...anywhere else. It didn't work very well. In his ears, his heart thudded louder than the clacking of the train wheels.

He'd been working on keeping his breathing even for several minutes when he heard something above him and jumped. Someone was climbing over the baggage. His breath hitched in his throat and he tried to scrunch down more, although he knew it would do no good. Had the man heard his breathing and stayed?

"W-who's there?" he asked.

"It's me."

"Mandy?" he felt himself relax for just a moment, then tensed up again. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she said. "I heard you try to give yourself a pep talk earlier. You're trying not to utterly panic with this little space, aren't you?"

Selim sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Would it help if I sat there with you?"

"You don't have to treat me like a child," Selim scowled.

"I'm not asking you as an adult to a child," she responded. "I'm asking as a friend."

Selim froze, blinking in the darkness. Friend? He'd only ever had Johan for a friend. No one else had ever really tried to be, much less called him one.

"I...guess there's enough room," he muttered.

He could practically see the smile on her face, although he didn't hear her normal giggle. "Then move aside for a sec," she said.

It took them a few minutes (and more than one awkward appendage to the other's eye or knee) to get situated so they could both sit comfortably, him on one side, her on the other. It made the space much smaller, but Selim had to admit it also felt much safer.

"Hey," he said after a few minutes. "Thanks."

She shook her head, although he could barely see the movement in the dark. "What are friends for?"

He grinned and relaxed against the wall and the chest next to him, feeling comfortable in the car for the first time.

xXx

It did get hot, rather fast. He knew Mandy had shed her coat and he took off his own as well as his hat and vest. Eventually all of his working with the shadows and the general atmosphere of travel caught up with him. Using the coat as a pillow, he allowed the heat to lull him off to sleep.

Selim opened his eye to find himself in a library he could have sworn he'd never seen before, despite the fact that it felt familiar. It seemed lavish and rich, but modest at the same time. There was a desk and chair off to one side, and a large, soft-looking, high-backed armchair fairly close to them, facing towards the center of the room. Otherwise there was a rug near the door and soft carpet covering the floor.

He was sitting on the floor by the chair. Standing up, he looked around, trying to figure out why it seemed so familiar. It wasn't like the school library at all, nor was it like his mother's cozy study.

Just as he started to take a step towards the door, it opened and a little boy came rushing in. He couldn't have been more than 9.

"Big brother!" he said with a grin and ran to Selim, throwing his arms around his waist. "I knew I'd find you here!"

To say he was surprised would be a horrible understatement. He'd never had any siblings.

"I..." he started, unsure of what to say. Then he smiled and knelt down. "Hi. Could you tell me your name?"

The boy giggled. "You know my name! It's the same as yours!"

Selim blinked. "It's Selim?"

"Of course!" the boy grinned.

Strange, Selim thought. He didn't like this but he couldn't place why. Something seemed…off. The fact that he couldn't pin point why really bothered him more than he suspected the actual root of the problem would.

"Right," Selim said, forcing a smile. "Where's um…our mom?"

"Downstairs with Dad," little Selim grinned. "He came home early just to see her!"

"Oh." Why did this all seem so familiar?

"Because it happened to you," little Selim said. Selim started, looking down at the younger boy who looked so much like him. "You don't want to remember, but it all still happened."

"Remember?" Selim asked unsurely. "Remember what? Why should I remember any of this?"

"You won't, because you're weak."

Okay, that was a little too creepy for a kid to say. "That isn't true," Selim replied.

The boy shrugged. "It's because you're just like them."

"Just like who?" This was really starting to make him uneasy.

"The humans," the child said as if stating the obvious. "The poor, weak, pathetic humans. They're all going to die and serve Father's plan." How could he say that with that brilliant smile? And was it just him, or had the boy's eye-color changed? Where before it had been a dark brown, now the irises looked…was that purple?

"F-father?" Selim asked, baking away. Why did this child frighten him so?

"Not the one downstairs. That's all fake, although not as fabricated as the life you live now." The smile had vanished, replaced by a cold glare as he advanced slowly towards Selim. "It's utterly disgusting how you fancy yourself to be one of them. Revolting, really. The scum."

Why did he know these words?

Selim's eyes suddenly flew wide. The voice. The one that only he seemed to be able to hear.

"You!" he said.

Little Selim grinned cruelly. "You finally figured it out? So pathetic. It seems 'stupid' really is contagious."

The older teen suddenly realized that he'd been backing away and stopped, fists clenching.

"Who are you, and what do you want," he asked.

A wave of amusement and superiority washed over him, and somehow he knew it came from this child...this thing. "Your Pride."

"What?"

"And I hate it."

"Hate what?"

"Being weaker than you!" the child's lip curled in utter disgust for a second, but then he looked back at Selim, face neutral. The older boy now stood firmly, glaring at the younger.

"Maybe I'm not as weak as you think I am."

The smaller boy laughed as if to humor a child who had tried to make a joke. "You are. But don't worry, you won't be around for long." Something jerked Selim's legs out from under him and he yelped, falling backwards and flailing. He didn't know how the younger boy had moved so quickly, but he somehow stood above Selim, glaring down condescendingly. " I'll end your miserable existence…and then I'll end theirs."

And that suddenly, he wasn't in the library anymore, he was falling down, racing face-first towards a ground that he couldn't see.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he yelled, willing something to save him. The shadows reached out and grabbed him in mid-air, pulling him back—

"WHOA!" Selim yelped as his entire body lurching backwards brought him out of the nightmare. Beside him, Mandy flailed madly as she also slammed against the wall of baggage. Brain still thick with sleep, he forced it to work and assess the situation. What had happened? The train was stopping? So suddenly? He blinked and glanced over at Mandy. She seemed just as confused as he did.

"Get out!" he heard Bonnie yell. "You'll be crush—"

The baggage car jarred suddenly forward, cutting her off as it crashed into the car in front of it. Beside him, Mandy screamed at the impact. He also let out a yell as they both made contact with the wall and some of the smaller boxes rained down on top of them. Then he felt the world tilt, and suddenly realized what Bonnie had been talking about. The baggage they'd used to hide behind would crush them when the car fell on its side.

Apparently Mandy realized it too for as the car fell, he heard her terrified gasp. Not knowing what else to do, Selim grabbed her and called the shadows.

The world twirled, tilted and bounced as it slid down into the desert sand outside.

Yay! Next chapter. I told you guys I'd probably be updating this weekly, and that's what's going to happen until I catch up to what I have written (I'm in the middle of chapter 14 right now). Thinking of a Monday-Wednesday update, depending on the time I have. :)

Oh, and if you'd like to see pictures of an older Selim, I had some fun with Paint Tool Sai the other night. ^^; Going to get up pictures of Mandy, Johan, Marlin, Bonnie and Falk sometime fairly soon too. obi-quiet .deviantart .com /# /d4vik6k (without spaces)