Disconcerting didn't begin to cover it. One minute he'd been surrounded by the vortex (and it had been strangely subdued, probably due to the minute amount of energy remaining in his stone) and the next he'd come to his senses and seen nothing but black.

He blinked, wondering if he had woken up at all, and then a jolt of pure terror shot through him. The ground beneath him bumped and jarred, and for a minute, in his sleep induced haze, he really had no idea what had happened.

"H-hey, what's going on? Where are the…" he faded off as the memories began to flood back.

"Selim?" he heard a familiar voice in the dark, also thick with sleep.

He didn't answer. Well, at least they'd taken his request to heart and called him by his human name. Why had he wanted them to do that again? He couldn't remember, and his still lethargic mind refused to answer him.

"Nothing," he managed to get out.

"Hn," another voice muttered in acknowledgement. Probably Edward.

Selim grabbed the blanket he'd been lying on and threw it around his shoulders, half to help him keep warm in the rapidly cooling air and half to provide some comfort and protection against the dark. The terror never really left, and so he sat there, huddled in the blackness as he reminded himself that his fear was completely irrational. It only worked marginally.

Waking up in the dome at the Elric's before hadn't been much better but at least at that point he hadn't been jumping and bouncing around like a horse on hallucinogens. Why couldn't the train ride be smoother? He would definitely have to put waking up in the dark while moving like that as something to avoid in the future at all costs.

Closing his eyes, he thought of bright sunlight and warm, summer days while willing his shoulders to heal again. No matter what the outcome, Selim realized that both sides of him wanted nothing more than for this awful ride to end.

xXx

His last major chance to escape would come when they opened the door. Selim knew this, and was marginally surprised that he didn't care. The train had long-since come to a stop, and he could still hear the clangs and clanks of the vehicle as it came to a full rest, but the box car felt so stifling and quiet now.

He sat with the blanket wrapped tightly around him to ward off the cold as he chewed on the last of the food that had been stashed in the car. He was glad the Elrics hadn't kept it from him.

By his guess, they'd reached New Optain. He couldn't be sure, but it would make sense. The city was far enough north to drastically manifest the changes in season, and Selim hadn't felt air that cold in over two weeks. He'd come to the conclusion that he liked the heat better.

The muted sound of several people mulling about outside the car reached his ears. Finally, they'd be moving him. For the umpteenth time he wondered if he should attempt to escape, but again decided against it. He wasn't even sure why anymore.

They mulled about for what seemed like forever and he found himself trying to calm his growing frustration. He hated how he couldn't really tell time in the dark like this. It had gone well past nerve-grating. He knew he'd become irritable and annoyed (well, more so than normal in any case) but he gave no thought to even attempting civility towards the Elrics. The closest he could get would be ignoring his company completely…until the doors opened in any case. He'd have light then, and everything would be more manageable. He could deal with the Elrics and the military at that point. Until then, he had to focus on not utterly panicking. He doubted he'd ever get over that indignity even if the Elrics let him live it down.

It took him a moment to realize he'd gone from almost absolute apathy to that deeply rooted anger in just seconds. His mood swings puzzled and frustrated him to no end. They held no rhyme or reason and tended to happen at the drop of a hat. Sometimes the calmer side would win; sometimes the more emotional. Sometimes Pride would win; sometimes Selim. His head still hurt from the stupid conflict, and he didn't feel any closer to resolving it than he had when he'd confronted the Elrics. He only knew he had to.

So he sat in the silence, waiting for the doors to open. Then he could escape—not the military (he still felt rather indifferent about being taken and punished by the government and doubted that would change any time soon), but the darkness.

It still took all too long in his opinion, but finally a bright burst of morning light shot through the darkness. He filled his lungs, vaguely realizing he'd been breathing slightly more heavily than usual and hoped that no one else had noticed. The fresh air and light soothed his soul in a way he could never describe. Just the sight of the open doorway almost made him feel giddy.

He really never wanted to see a baggage car again if he could help it.

Somehow the Elrics had known exactly when the military idiots would open the door, as both had placed themselves between him and freedom. Alphonse crouched low, hands hovering above the floor of the car threateningly. Edward stood stoically, but his knees were bent and he looked ready to leap if Selim did anything.

He didn't.

"Time to go," the older brother said with a scowl. He appeared to have just crawled out of bed. Between the rumpled clothes and the hair coming loose from the pony-tail, he looked rather horrible. Selim couldn't help the smug grin that came to his face at that. He'd take what little triumph he could get.

Strangely enough, Selim noted with distaste, Alphonse looked much better. His clothes weren't even rumpled.

Outside, several military men in blue uniforms surrounded the car, each with a large rifle pointed directly at their captive. He wanted to scoff. If he really wanted to get away, he could easily just put up a shield and tear open the floorboards of the car. Truthfully, it wouldn't be that difficult to escape at the moment.

And why did his thoughts keep returning to that idea? He'd already made up his mind to be patient. Trying to escape now wouldn't put him in the best condition. He'd healed some more on the train ride (as much as he'd been able to when on the verge of panic), but over-exertion could still take him out. He did not want to tear his wound open again. Long periods of running and hiding would almost guarantee that he did.

Trying not to move his arms too much (still wanting to give the illusion that they remained damaged), he got to his feet and walked to the door, and then down the ramp. The doors were on the shaded side of the train so he stepped into the crisp, cold air caused by the vehicle's shadow. Then he smiled. He may have preferred heat to cold, but he would take cold light over warm darkness every time.

No one said anything as they walked him to a car and had him climb into the back seat between Edward and another military officer. Havoc climbed in the front and Alphonse went in the car behind. Smart. Now if Selim tried anything, he'd be hurting those who could do the least amount of damage, leaving their powerhouse to take care of any fallout.

He waited in silence for everyone to get situated, using the time to glance around and verify that they had indeed reached New Optain and not Central. He'd only guessed the former because of the situation with the FFO, and his brief scrutiny confirmed his deduction. Then he noticed two people standing just outside the entrance to the New Optain station and groaned inwardly.

"What are they doing here?" he muttered.

Edward didn't so much as twitch, probably figuring it was some sort of trick on Selim's part. Havoc, however, glanced at Selim with a scowl, then followed his gaze to the couple watching their car.

Bonnie and Marlin, of course.

"Well we couldn't exactly tell them they couldn't come," Havoc explained irritably. "The train back to East City had already come and gone by the time we got everything sorted out. They wanted a ride and had every right to one as far as I know."

Selim sighed and sat back in the seat, relaxing as much as he could in the situation. "Whatever," he murmured.

"It's not like they can do anything anyway," Edward commented, still scowling grouchily.

Havoc didn't answer. Instead he nodded for the driver to start the car. The soldier did so, and they began the comparatively smooth ride to military headquarters.

xXx

Selim had expected that his 'escorts' would march directly into New Optain headquarters and to General Mustang without so much as a pause…which was why it confused him that the rather large group sat in a sort of waiting-room in some make-shift headquarters in a run-down building somewhere towards the edge of the city.

"What are we doing here?" Edward asked aloud, scowling at the surrounding tent as if it had offended him somehow. Apparently Selim wasn't the only one in the dark.

"The General wanted our prisoner brought directly to him," Havoc answered.

Edward turned his full attention to the officer, expression dry and unimpressed. "Then why is he out here instead of sitting on his butt in his air-conditioned office?"

Havoc returned Edward's scowl, obviously not appreciating the younger blond's summary. "The General isn't the kind of person to sit in his office in a crisis."

"What crisis?" Edward returned. Pride grinned ever so slightly. It was entertaining to hear the man get so flustered. Some things, it seemed, really didn't change.

Havoc glanced at Edward, scowl deepening. Then he turned his attention briefly to Selim before it returned to the older of the Elrics. Then he shrugged as if to say 'why not' and opened his mouth to explain.

"We got a message just before we left Risembool. The company here was late because the FFO got wind of our quiet evacuation of Central in preparation for their attack, and they decided to send a small group here as well. Apparently it's degraded to a hostage situation." He sighed and shook his head. "The General came out to oversee the negotiations personally."

"What negotiations?" Alphonse asked skeptically.

Havoc shook his head. "Just something about the hostages' lives in exchange for Fuehrer Armstrong giving up her position or her life."

Edward snorted. "Like she would."

"They haven't found a solution to the problem yet," Havoc said softly.

"They're not going to just let them die though, right?" Alphonse asked worriedly.

The officer shook his head. "That's what they're trying to prevent."

They stood there in silence for several minutes after that, the only muffled sounds being what came through door in front of them. At least they hadn't set up a tent. The building they'd taken over seemed to be old, worn and had probably stood empty for quite a while.

Finally, the muffled exclamations stopped, and Selim heard footsteps. The door opened to reveal three people, the head of which happened to be (of course) General Mustang.

The man paused and looked over the group for a moment before settling his glare on Selim (who happened to be more than willing to return it). The homunculus didn't break eye contact until he heard a gasp from behind the general. He lowered his gaze and found Hawkeye standing behind the commander, her own glare cold and threatening. She hadn't gasped though. The woman behind her in the doorway had. Mandy.

Suddenly he found the floor very interesting. He just couldn't meet those eyes that had once counted him as a fiend. He didn't want to know what he'd see there.

"Well, I can't say this is entirely unexpected," Mustang said wryly. "Fullmetal, still as short as ever, I see."

Selim saw a vein throb on Edward's forehead. "I'm as tall as you are," he said through gritted teeth. "And will you stop calling me that?"

"Sure you are, kid," Mustang said, although his voice held a certain amount of light amusement. Selim wanted to roll his eyes.

"General," Alphonse broke in, ever the peacemaker. "We were wondering what you're going to do now."

And that quickly, the atmosphere in the room turned somber. Mustang glanced around the group again, and then sighed.

"That's really up to the Fuehrer. Once she arrives from Central, I'm to escort the prisoner to her myself."

Selim wanted to scoff. Did the man honestly never learn? Selim had beaten him once, and he could do so again. Did these people really think that he would be there if he really didn't want to be?

That thought had him blinking. Did he want to be there? Not particularly, although he still felt strangely apathetic about the whole situation, so he didn't particularly not want to be their either. Why though? Why did he not care to simply leave? Perhaps because he wanted to see his mother? Yes, that had something to do with it, but as he examined the situation, he came to realize that it wasn't so much that he wanted to be there, but more that he'd become tired of running like a coward.

They continued to discuss his uncertain future, but he still didn't care enough to listen in and had just started to really tune them out when the door behind them opened, offering a nice distraction for everyone.

"Sir," an officer said, obviously addressing Mustang.

"What is it?" the dark-haired general asked, only the slightest annoyance at being interrupted lacing his voice.

"Some of the officers you called for are here, and they insisted on speaking with you right away."

"I don't have any more information than you do," Mustang said dryly.

"I know, sir. I informed them of the situation with their families, but some of them are still insisting."

This was obviously not something Mustang wanted to deal with at the moment, and that brought a slight smile to Selim. "Who are they?"

"Just two of them, sir. A Major Myers and a Colonel Browbeat."

Selim's eyes widened. Browbeat…that was Johan's father. A lump of ice began to form in his stomach. He was here inquiring after his family, which meant that either Johan or his mother (or both) were being held hostage.

At first he didn't really know what to feel about that, or how to react at all. Then that blasted conflict rose inside of him again. Why should he care about the humans and their pointless conflicts? They no longer served any purpose to him after all.

That thought seemed to make the other side of him angry. Why should he care? Because this was Johan, his best friend…

Who had abandoned him.

But he hadn't wanted to. He'd proven he'd still cared when he'd given Selim the Elrics' book.

Suddenly, his mind froze as something occurred to him. Johan had to have read the book before he'd given it to Selim. With the way he'd acted, he must have come to a conclusion that contained at least part of the truth. At the time, Selim had thought Johan was just responding to his parents not allowing him to—

Why had his parents done that so suddenly after almost a decade with no problems? Johan said his parents had found his notes and then forbade them from being friends. So they'd suddenly thought of Selim as a danger. He could only draw one conclusion from that.

"They knew," he whispered. Thankfully, no one heard him and he continued to piece it all out in his head. Somehow, Johan had known before they'd found the book or he wouldn't have had notes. Or perhaps he'd just found the book and had been taking notes when his parents caught him? After all, how could he have known? When could he have found out? Had he really put it all together?

If so, why hadn't he told Selim?

Then again, he could imagine just how that conversation would go. In his mind, he could see his best friend walking up to him and grinning as he said, 'By the way, you're a monster. FYI.' No, Johan would never have done that.

"He wanted me to draw my own conclusions," he whispered to himself. But why would Johan want him to do that? To make the answer easier to accept? To keep the true answer from him? No, or he wouldn't have given Selim the Elrics' book. Besides, he'd claimed that he'd been working on wearing his parents down so they could at least speak to each other again. If he'd known the whole truth, why would he have done that?

So what had Johan really known? And why didn't he care if Selim found out?

For the life of him, he could not find the answers. It just didn't make sense…and both sides of him wanted to know. Blinking, he glanced around. Even Edward had taken his focus off of Selim in favor of watching the General address the waiting officer. Selim knew he wouldn't get his answer here. After all, if Johan did survive, why would he come to see the captured monster that had once been his best friend? Besides, he doubted the Browbeats would let their son anywhere near him, and Johan didn't often go against his parents' wishes.

So the first thing came first. He had to meet Johan himself before he could ask, and his former friend would have to be alive to answer his questions. If Selim wanted to guarantee he would receive an answer, the solution was simple: He'd have to rescue Johan.

And he couldn't do that as a prisoner.

"…meet with them shortly," Mustang was saying.

Selim knew he had to act then, and so he did. As subtly as he could, he moved a thin shadow out in two directions. The first crawled rapidly up Alphonse's leg, and the second wrapped around Mandy's. They both realized something was wrong at about the same time, but it was too late.

With all of his strength, Selim jerked his shadow, swinging Alphonse around, knocking Havoc, Edward, Hawkeye, Mustang and most of the other soldiers in the room down. He didn't waste time, already leaping towards one of the two windows in the room while dodging the hands and weapons of those few men he'd missed as he dragged Mandy with him. At the window he turned around and brought the dark-haired girl in front of him, making sure to plant her directly between him and Hawkeye.

"Don't move," he hissed, bringing a shadow to a point against her throat. Everyone in the room froze. Mandy was breathing rapidly, but she also didn't move. He could feel her tensing through the shadows and wasn't sure whether he should enjoy her fear or apologize to her for having to use her as a shield. It was a cowardly tactic, but he felt it had been necessary. When he was sure that he had everyone's attention, he aimed a glare at the General, who had almost risen from the floor.

"If you follow me, she dies," he said simply, then threw up a shield and jumped out of the window, thankful that they hadn't gone higher than ground level. Then he took off running down the street, carrying Mandy behind him.

He sprinted around several corners of the empty city (apparently at least this part had been evacuated as well) before he came to a stop. If he wanted to go through with this, he would have to conserve his energy.

Sighing, he turned and looked down at the State Alchemist, meeting her eyes. He expected to see fear there, but instead he saw something that confused him: a sort of sad resignation.

"I'm going to let you go," he mumbled. "I don't want to hurt you or kill you, and as far as I'm concerned you can go running back and tell your precious general whatever you want." At least the sorrow had vanished, replaced by confusion. "I'm…sorry," yeah, it was still hard to say that and he didn't expect that to change any time soon. "I didn't want to use a hostage, but that was the only way I could escape."

She said something, but he had a shadow covering her mouth. For a moment, he considered just leaving her there without letting her speak, but then figured 'why not?' It wasn't like she could do anything at the moment, and she obviously had a question. Besides, as much as he'd hated to admit it, he'd missed her company…a little.

"What?" he asked when he'd moved the shadow.

"Why didn't you escape before? You could have gotten away earlier, I know you could have."

He regarded her for several seconds. Then he shrugged. If he answered her, she'd know where he was going. Abruptly it occurred to him that he didn't actually know where the hostages were at the moment, and that she'd probably know.

"Where are they keeping the hostages?"

"What?"

"The hostages," he repeated, trying not to sound annoyed.

She blinked. "A-at the hotel at the end of the street the temporary base is on. Why?"

He shrugged again. "I need to know which way to run." He turned and began to head down the street away from her, making sure to keep her tied up in his shadows for as long as he dared.

"Wait," she called. He paused. "Why are you letting me go? My life could lengthen yours…the General told me everything."

He raised an eyebrow, ignoring the pang of disappointment that shot through him. "You want to die?" he asked.

"Of course not, sil—" she cut off and bit her lip. It took her a few seconds to speak again, and when she did, she didn't meet his eyes. "Who are you?"

He didn't really know how to answer that question. "Pardon?"

"You're not acting like Selim or Pride, not from what I've seen and not from what the General has told me. Who are you?"

She really wanted to know…no, she needed to know. He could see it in her eyes even without meeting them, and he could see past the question as well. She had really just asked what had happened to the person she'd known.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "Right now…neither, both…I don't know if I'll ever know."

He waited for her to respond, but she didn't. Instead she looked up at him with a puzzled expression, as if she were trying to figure him out. He wanted to scoff. If he couldn't figure himself out, did she really think she could?

Then, to his surprise, she smiled softly. "Still as strong as ever, I see. Stronger, I guess."

He couldn't help the incredulous expression that came over his face. What did she mean by—

Then her words from the train came back to his mind. "You're a proud person, yet you ask for help. In my opinion that makes you strong."

He looked away. "I'm not."

"You just proved that you are."

"Stop it!" he suddenly rounded on her. "You think I'll fall for your stupid human logic? For the feelings and weaknesses that you all try to hide?" Why did that sound so familiar? He brushed the inquiry to the back of his mind, refusing to focus on anything but the here and now.

After only a moment's hesitation, he withdrew his shadows. If he kept them anywhere near her for even a second longer, he'd probably just kill her and get it over with. "Get out of my sight, scum. Run back to your hero and take your pathetic attempt at logic with you."

She must have seen the dangerous glint in his eye, because she only paused the barest moment before turning and running back down the street towards where they'd come from.

She didn't take a second look.

When she'd disappeared from view, he took a deep breath before turning and stalking moodily in the other direction. He'd have to double around and keep his shadow's eyes out for anyone coming in his direction, but he knew his destination now. He wanted to conserve energy and keep his shadow usage to a minimum (actually he didn't want to use them at all at the moment so as to rebuild his energy supply, but it was a necessity he couldn't risk holding back on).

Still, as he moved stealthily around the buildings, he realized that he felt different…like he had a purpose again. Even if it was only temporary, he'd found a new objective—something to work towards...and he liked having that back again, even if it would benefit humans.

Not the happiest with this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. There will be a definite hiatus next week so I can ensure the quality of the fic. ^^; May post later in the week, or just wait a whole two weeks (or more, but probably not), not sure at the moment.

Anyway, again, please let me know what you think! Reviews inspire more ficcage...*hint hint*