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Jac awoke in the late afternoon gloom to find Ava curled up on the bed beside her fast asleep. The child was sucking her thumb, a habit Jac hadn't seen her do before, and her other hand tightly griped the arm of Mr Bear. Jac lay next to her niece for a while watching the little girls innocent face as she continued to sleep peacefully. Jac doubted Jonny was aware Ava had let herself in here, but she was glad of the child's company. Jac could hear the deep male voices of her grandfather, Sacha and Jonny coming from the living room and she could smell some sort of food cooking in the kitchen. No doubt Mo was creating comfort food for them. Jac slowly got up off the bed, trying not to wake Ava. She changed out her pyjamas into comfortable jeans and soft green sweater and brushed her long red hair until it shone.

'Auntie Jac?' Ava spoke groggily from the bed to get the woman's attention.

'Hi Pumpkin' Jac smiled at the little girl, sitting down next to her on the bed 'did you have a good sleep?'

Ava nodded and sat herself up 'I love you' she whispered as she impulsively wrapped her arms around Jac.

Jac held the child tightly as she whispered back 'I love you too, my Ava' marvelling, as she did frequently, at the flesh and blood realness of the child she held in her arms.

'I thought I said Auntie Jac needed to rest, Ava?' Jonny softly scolded the child as he entered the bedroom to find her being held by his wife.

'I thought Auntie Jac might be lonely' Ava justified herself to her uncle with an 'I know best' expression on her face that was unmistakably like Jac's.

'It doesn't matter Jonny' Jac shook her head as she smiled at the child 'she managed to sneak up here without waking me anyway. I don't even know how long she's been here.'

'Well I put her down for a nap in her own bedroom about an hour ago' Jonny was unsuccessfully hiding his amused grin from Ava. 'Come on wee miss, Mo's baked some ginger bread men that need decorating.' He held out his hand to the child and Ava's let him help her down from the bed. She hugged her uncle's legs and then dashed out of the bedroom door to find Mo.

'We so need to put a lock on this door now she's tall enough to open it' Jonny grinned at Jac as he sat down next to her on the bed. 'You look a little better.'

'I feel a little better' Jac admitted, taking Jonny's hand in hers 'Ava seems a lot better too'

'She fluctuates between sadness and calmness' Jonny shrugged 'but Mo's pretty good at keeping her occupied'

'So are you Jonny' Jac smiled reassuringly at her husband 'you are so good with Ava.'

Jonny shook his head still feeling inept after Ava's melt down this morning 'she asks for you all time when it's just me and her. I don't seem to reassure her the same way you do'

'Come on Jonny, it's just a phase' Jac squeezed his hand 'probably because I remind her so much of her mother. Look at the way she hugged you just then, she loves you'

'Mo's been cooking and baking in the kitchen, you know what she's like expressing love and care with food' Jonny changed the subject, still not completely convinced of his own prowess as a parent.

'My appetite has vanished' Jac shook her head at the thought of food.

Jonny suddenly let go of her hand and placed his hands on her shoulders firmly 'you're not doing this to me again Jac' he spoke seriously.

'Doing what?' Jac was confused by his sudden change in mood.

'Starving yourself so there's hardly anything left of you, you did it after Amelia and I won't let you do it again.' He shook her lightly, letting her know how serious he was. 'What do you think it did to me, watching you making yourself ill like that? I won't do it again Jac, I swear to God this time if you collapse I'll insist they tube feed you. I'll hold you down myself whilst they insert the tube if I have to.' He watched as tears fell down her cheeks. He'd never spoken to her about this since it had happened all those months ago, deciding he would have to be satisfied the shock of being admitted for under nourishing herself had been enough to get her eating and drinking again. He wiped away his own tears angry at Jac for making him tell her this and angry at himself for making her cry.

'I'm sorry' she cried 'I just…I can't' she gave up trying to speak as the sobs took over her.

Jonny gathered her up into his arms 'I know it's difficult when you don't feel hungry but you have to force yourself to eat a little and remember to drink' he kissed her damp cheek 'just try to eat a little something every meal time. That's all I ask' her held her tighter still as he spoke 'and if you can't do it for me, then do it for Ava. She's been through enough.'

'I love you Jonny, you know that don't you?' Jac mumbled against his chest.

'Of course I know you love me' Jonny reassured her kissing the top of her head 'how could I not?'

'I'm sorry I'm such a mess' Jac buried her head against her husband's warm body frightened he would let her go, that he would leave her because she was such a burden.

'You're not a mess Jac' Jonny lightly pushed her away from his body and held her face in his hands 'look at me' he commanded her softly. He waited until her eyes lifted up to meet his own 'you are not a mess, you are grieving for your sister and I know you still grieve for Amelia because I do too. Not only that but your mother turning up and Joseph…' Jonny let his voice trail off. He kissed her softly on the lips. 'You are not a mess, you are unbelievably strong but there's only so much one person can take Jac, so let me share the load. Remember our pact, the one we made when we found out you were pregnant? Allow yourself to be vulnerable with me, talk to me and let me take care of you.' He kissed her again 'I love you so much.'

'I'll try' Jac whispered 'I'll do it for both you and Ava.'

Jonny let go of her tear stained face and allowed her to slump against him once more. 'I know you'll probably bite my head off at this suggestion but what if you tried counselling again?' he ran his fingers through her thick hair as he spoke 'We could find someone you're completely comfortable with, who doesn't work at the hospital.'

'If I say I'll think about it, would that do for now?' she spoke quietly, knowing he was right. Sacha had tried this conversation with Elliot as back up a few days ago. Her anger did little to dissuade them from the topic, much to her horror Sacha even tried discussing the rape with her. In the end she had taken Elliot's prescription for the sleeping tablets in a bid to get the pair them leave her alone, which they only did once they had Jonny's confirmation she had picked the tablets up from the pharmacy.

'If it's a serious think about it then yes' Jonny smoothed her hair 'those nightmares are awful Jac, I can't stand seeing you so afraid'

'I don't think counselling will ever make those go away' Jac sighed at the affliction her nightmares had been in her adult life.

Jonny squeezed her tight, to show her he understood 'Mo has offered to stay over for a few days and I've accepted. I think Ava is going to be, understandably, demanding so I think an extra pair of hands will be a good idea.'

'Ok' Jac nodded, too tired to protest that the arrangements were made without her. 'Jonny?'

'Hmm?' he answered her still smoothing her hair.

'Can we just stay like this for a while longer?' she snuggled closer into him 'can you just hold me?'

'Of course' Jonny felt relieved they had cleared the air, his chest felt lighter now he was less worried Jac was going to fade away from him. 'Anything you want.'

Sacha wrapped his arms around Mo as she stood string the chicken stew she had cooking on the stove and lightly kissed the back of her neck.

'Sacha!' Mo protested firmly, but she couldn't help the smile that was forming on her lips. Sacha let her go reluctantly and watched Jac and Ava through the partially open sliding doors completing a jigsaw puzzle together on the coffee table. Jac looked better than she had done this morning but Sacha could still see she looked exhausted.

'I hope Jonny and Granddad George are able to buy suet' Mo spoke as walked over to her partner and wrapped her arm around his waist 'you can't have a stew without dumplings'. Jonny had volunteered to fetch the ingredients Mo needed as a brisk walk in the cold air would do him some good. Granddad George had gone with him sensing Jonny had things on his mind that he might want to discuss away from Jac.

'I think Ava is doing Jac the world of good, but…' Sacha let his quiet words trial off.

'You're worried Jac will burn herself out running around after her?' Mo finished for him. Sacha nodded his head. 'I'm going to stay over here for a few days' Mo spoke leaning against the man she'd fallen in love with 'just to help out a bit.'

'I think Jac will appreciate that, in her own way' Sacha smiled down at Mo. 'I've offered Granddad George a place to stay for as long as he needs it.'

'You're a good man Sacha Levy' Mo spoke quietly before she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. Sacha responded with a kiss on Mo's lips just as Jac had decided to enter the kitchen.

'Please! Not in my kitchen!' she gave the couple a disgusted look, although Sacha knew she was only joking by the smile that played on her lips as she filled the kettle. 'Granddad and Jonny are on their way back. They've had to trudge through slushy snow all the way to the bigger supermarket but they managed to get everything you needed' she informed Mo as she fetched mugs out of the cupboard.

Sacha nudged Mo and gave her a meaningful look. Mo excused herself and headed to the bathroom, guessing Sacha was about to give Jac a talk and this was likely to be more successful without her in the room. She smiled at Ava as she passed the child in the living room wondering to herself if her chance to have her own child was to be with Sacha.

Jac managed to eat half a bowl of stew and a dumpling which was enough to satisfy Jonny and Sacha that she was making an effort not to make herself ill. After Ava had been put to bed Jac had sat on the sofa next to her grandfather and they discussed the funeral arrangements, which had mostly been pre planed by Jasmine before her death.

'I will talk with Reverend Timmins tomorrow and try to sort out a date' Granddad concluded the topic. He considered his granddaughter for a moment taking in her pale skin, tired eyes and skinny frame. 'You'll be ok Jac' he spoke softly 'we'll be ok'

Jac nodded her head 'I know'

Granddad reached over and took Jac's hand in his 'I'm glad Jasmine found you. I don't know how I'd get through this without you.'

Jac squeezed her Grandfathers hand 'me too.'

'Does Mo seem a little quiet to you?' Jonny asked Jac whilst brushing his teeth. He watched the reflection of Jac cleansing her skin in the mirror as she shrugged. 'She seemed quiet to me' he answered his own question as he spat out the remaining toothpaste from his mouth.

'I think I may have the answer as to why' Jac announced as she pulled a pregnancy testing kit out of the small pedal bin she'd just placed her used cotton wool in.

'What's it say?' Jonny whispered.

'Its positive' Jac whispered back 'but I don't know how long this has been sat in here for'

'Do you think I should question her about it?' Jonny asked Jac as he watched her discard the item back into the bin and wash her hands.

'No.' Jac spoke as she dried her hands 'I think we should both question her about it.' She unlocked the door and headed to the living room where Mo was laying reading on the sofa bed with Jonny hot on her heals.

'Are you pregnant?' Jac bluntly asked Mo. Jonny groaned at her insensitivity as he stood behind her.

Mo pulled the duvet over her head and groaned at her own stupidity for not hiding the testing kit better.

'Urgh is not an answer' Mo heard Jac's stern voice.

Mo lowered the duvet from her face before answering with a quiet 'yes'.

'I'm guessing this is a good thing right?' Jac asked her softly this time, sitting herself down on the end of the bed.

Mo shrugged her shoulders.

'I know that's not true' Jac crossed her arms 'you've wanted your own children for years.'

'Ok so I know I want this baby' Mo gave Jac a nervous smile 'but it wasn't planned. Sacha and I haven't even discussed our relationship properly let alone having babies together'

'Sacha Levy loves children' Jac hid an amused smile 'he'll be over the moon. Once he's gotten over the shock that is.'

'What do you think?' Mo asked Jonny shyly.

'Are you happy?' he asked his best friend as he sat down on the edge of the sofa bed.

Mo nodded.

'Then I think its great news' he smiled at his friend as he pulled her into a hug.

'How far along are you?' Jac asked Mo, starting to get practical about the new arrival.

'I'm not sure' Mo admitted as Jonny released her 'Maybe a couple of months, my last period was kind of light'

'Ok I'm going to bed if you two are going to talk female bodily functions' Jonny groaned as he stood up. As much as he loved Mo knowing the ins and outs of her menstrual cycle was not essential to their relationship.

'Well you can easily find that out tomorrow when you're at work' Jac smiled at Mo 'I think you should phone Sacha and tell him'

Mo shook her head, still unsure of his reaction, as a mournful cry from Ava interrupted their conversation.

Jac picked up Mo's phone from the coffee table and handed it to her 'Phone him while I try to settle Ava' she spoke firmly as she left the room and headed into Ava'a bedroom. She scooped the child up into her arms and headed towards the rocking chair making reassuring shushing sounds as she went. She set the child facing her on her lap and placed Ava's pink patchwork quilt over the child's cool body before gently rocking the chair. 'Every things going to ok Ava' she spoke softly to the child as she rubbed her back 'I know at the moment everything feels sad and confusing but I promise you you'll be ok.'

'I miss Mummy' Ava sobbed

'I know Ava' Jac kissed the top of the child's head 'I miss her too'

'Why can't you sleep in here with me?' Ava whined through her tears. Jac had already had this discussion with Ava and was sticking to the advice received from Granddad and Sacha that if she gave in she would regret it later when Ava became a difficult sleeper, unable to settle on her own.

'Because we've all got to sleep in our own beds Pumpkin' Jac held the child closer to her, breathing her clean innocent scent. 'Besides you've got Mr Bear to keep you company.'

'You won't go, will you Auntie Jac?' Ava sniffled.

'No Ava, I'm not going anywhere' Jac reassured the child, knowing this question had more meaning to Ava than just the sleeping arrangements 'I love you Ava, and Uncle Jonny loves you and Granddad loves you'. Ava sunk forward onto her aunties chest, tucking her head under her chin as she listened to these words of comfort.

'Can I stay here with you and Uncle Jonny for ever Auntie Jac?' Ava asked as she closed her eyes. Ava had asked Jac this question when she and Jonny had bathed her earlier that evening. Jac had had to hide her amused grin as Jonny explained to Ava that of course she could stay with them for ever and ever but he doubted that she would want to live her boring aunt and uncle when she was a grown up. Ava had then stated in that case she never wanted to be grown up, which made both Jac and Jonny laugh until Jac realised that she'd never felt like that as a child, she had always wished she were older to escape the unhappiness she lived in. She had had to leave the bathroom, under the pretence of fetching Ava's pyjamas, in order to have a little cry at the unfairness that her mother hadn't allowed her even that most innocent of childhood feeling and how unfair it was that Jasmine would never know that she had made Ava's childhood so fantastic the child never wanted to leave it behind.

'You'll always have a home with us Ava' Jac smoothed the child's soft red hair 'for ever and ever if you want it'

'I will always want to, for ever and ever' Ava spoke sleepily not knowing how much those words meant to her aunt. Jac continued to the rock the child as her breathing became deep and even, finally having been lulled back sleep. Mo entered the room and smiled at the sight of Jac rocking a sleeping Ava in the rocking chair.

'How'd it go?' the red headed woman asked her, continuing to slowly rock the slumbering child.

'He was a little shocked' Mo admitted 'but he said every child is blessing and ours will be no exception' she grinned broadly as she spoke those last words.

'Jasmine said Granddad had told her same thing when she was expecting this little one' Jac smiled back at Mo 'and I remember Amelia being the biggest but best shock of my life too.' She stood up with Ava in her arms, letting the quilt fall to the ground. 'Could you give me hand?' she whispered to Mo nodding her head towards the child's bed where the duvet lay in messy heap on top of it.

'Sure' Mo whispered back as she hurried over to the bed and straighten it's covers, folding back the duvet to allow Jac to lay the child down on the mattress. Mo watched as Jac gently the laid Ava's teddy bear on the bed within easy each of the child's grasp, and then covered the sleeping partners over with the thick duvet.

'She's so beautiful Jac' Mo whispered in awe as they both watched the sleeping child for a few seconds.

'I know' Jac smiled 'but then I would think that being slightly biased.'

'I'm sorry I brought all the baby drama to you on today of all days' Mo whispered slightly embarrassed as she watched Jac pick up the discarded quilt and fold it neatly.

Jac shook her head as she laughed softly 'you have no idea how much after last few days I've needed to hear some good news. I'm happy for you and Sacha and Jasmine would have been to.' She placed her hand lightly on Mo's arm to guide her from the child's room. 'And of course at least we now know we've got something to look forward to.'