Note from the translator: all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, and all things Collisions belong to Drinou, a very talented and popular French writer. Again I want to thank you all for your reviews and your patience. Good reading.
Chapter 21: Reality bites
Intrigued, I picked it up and saw that one, it contained a flat square object, and two, it wasn't sealed. Might as well put an "OPEN ME" sign in flashing capital letters before my eyes. My curiosity more than whetted, I plunged my hand inside and pulled out a CD of Ludovico Einaudi and a card that I quickly read.
"Bella,
In memory of that moment,
Edward."
I was totally flabbergasted. After the evening that I'd spent, his attitude towards me, and the argument we just had, now I was landing on this note.
"In memory of that moment"
I looked at the CD a little closer. I remembered the artist. It was the composer of the beautiful melody that I had heard the other night when Edward had offered me a ride home. I had truly found it magnificent, sweet and captivating. We had been having fun together, him gently teasing me, and me, giggling heartily at his childish look.
"Oh, Edward, who are you really?" I thought. This man would remain a mystery forever. Sometimes despicable, sometimes so touching.
Stop over thinking and run after him, silly you!
I shook my head briskly. With this note in hand, I had a proof that he was something other than this heartless cad he claimed to be, but how to make him confess? And above all, what would be the point in the end?
I slowly exited the room and found the row of elevators, opposite to the reception desk, which had been my workplace at one time. It seemed such a long time ago suddenly.
When the metallic doors opened to the lobby of the 8th floor, the music deafened me. I was no longer in the mood to celebrate. So I headed directly to the makeshift checkroom, which we had installed earlier in the day, on one side of the large hall. I juggled between the dancing bodies, zigzagging to pave my way.
"Oh, you're back!" Emmett exclaimed, suddenly appearing on my left. "Where have you been? I didn't quite understand earlier, I really thought you were going to eat me alive."
I chuckled. As if I had the slightest chance against the pile of muscles that was Emmett.
"Sorry about that. I was... uh... upset."
"To say the least! So who did you eat in the end? Who was the unfortunate victim of Bella the ogre?"
My cheeks instantly took on a pinkish hue.
Damn! Let's hope he doesn't notice anything...
"Oh, oh, what's that? Tell everything to Uncle Emmett. Whom did you lash out at?"
Screwed.
I whined.
"No one Emmett. No one."
He put his big paw on my shoulder in a friendly gesture while squeezing me against him.
"You know that today is my birthday, Bella. It's my day. And on this blessed day you have to pamper me, you know what I mean?"
"Emmett," I sighed, "have I not done enough in organizing this party with Alice in bully mode?"
"Tut, tut, tut. Don't try to mollify me. You tickled my curiosity, now you'll have to assuage it."
Shit.
Should I remind you that Emmett is, how to put it... Alice's monozygotic twin when it comes to curiosity?
Then again, who else besides him could enlighten me on the mystery that was Edward? He seemed to know him well, or at least enough to appreciate him despite his arrogance and contempt for others. He could probably guide me. But it also meant that I would have to inform him of what "bonded" me to him... Crap.
"Edward," I whispered, looking away.
However, his lack of response forced me to stare at him again. His eyebrows formed a pleated line that marked his disbelief.
"Which Edward?"
Pffff. He does it on purpose or what?
"Cullen. Edward Cullen," I said in an exasperated tone.
"Holy shit."
Tell me about it!
"You went to find Edward to yell at him?" he continued, more doubtful than ever.
"Let's say... uh... that I went up to see him just now to... uh... have a little chat and ... uh... that's it."
He raised a suspicious brow while dragging me a little further, back away from the crowd.
"A chat? With Edward? The enigmatic and lonesome Edward Cullen?"
"Uh... Yes."
"I see. Actually no, I don't see at all. I think you need to explain to me!"
I pulled away from Emmett's arm, and with a sigh I sat on one of the big silver club armchairs.
"I... uh..." I stammered, blushing even more.
Repeat after me: I got my kicks with your buddy, who incidentally was also my boss, and I fucking loved it.
And one mental slap, one. Enough is enough!
Emmett pulled a second armchair over and sat in front of me, gazing at me with his cerulean eyes.
"So, Bells, just tell Uncle Emmett," he pressed, sipping his orange red cocktail.
Shit and shit again. He wouldn't drop it. I fiddled nervously with the hem of my dress. He was the only one who could put me on track, direct me. To hell with my embarrassment. I had to override my bashfulness and tell him everything.
I took a deep breath and launched myself:
"I went up to see him because... uh... let's say I had a few grievances against him... because of... uh... Damn!" I said, all worked up. "I slept with him."
"You... WHAT?" he cried out.
I hid my blushing face with my hand, ashamed.
"Did I hear right? You... Wow... This conversation is going to become very interesting."
Peeking between my fingers I saw a huge smile settle on his face.
"Perhaps even rated X. Wanna give me some details?"
"Emmett!" I growled.
He sucked up a sip of his drink while watching me carefully with his little nosy stare. I wanted to disappear...
"Come on! You started it; you must go on now! Spill the juicy details. And don't bother glaring at me with your stormy look... I don't know if you noticed, but you can't compete against me. So you slept with Edward tonight."
"What? No," I panicked. "It was before I worked here... and ... uh... also during my time here."
If he already looked surprised a few seconds ago, now he seemed completely taken aback.
"You slept with Edward... and more than once."
An impressed whistle escaped his lips.
"The little Swan is on fire! I must admit that I'm in awe. You've been hiding your little game pretty well."
I banged his knee in protest.
"Whoa, calm down tigress! And so tonight... it was for...?"
I nervously replaced a strand of hair behind my ear.
"A few months ago, while I was working as a waitress at a gala dinner given in the honor of Edward, I... uh... met him, so to speak. Then N.Y.E. offered me a job here just after firing me. In short, we have... uh... it happened again once."
You're no longer red, you're downright crimson my poor girl.
So be it if I looked like a peony; it was such a relief to finally be able to speak about it. So much so that I didn't stop at the mere mention of the situation.
"But what drives me crazy," I continued, "is his behavior. I can't figure him out. When I put him in the category of obnoxious assholes, he does something that destabilizes me and makes me change my opinion. And the next moment, the contemptuous bastard is back. How can you put up with him?"
"Years of experience," he laughed before suddenly looking more serious. "Edward is... how to say... special?"
"You've got that right..."
He put his glass down and leaned forward.
"You're interested in him huh? You just want another shag with him or..."
Oh my... That's a touchy topic!
"I don't want anything at all!" I retorted with alacrity. "He just drives me nuts. He's so calculating, manipulative and arrogant. He's infuriating! And on the other hand... He can also be charming, considerate... Pfff, what a shit!" I blurted out.
Damn, it felt good to be able to get it off my chest.
"Honestly, maybe there's an opening. Perhaps he even cares about you."
WHAT?
"WHAT?" I shouted.
Hey, are you done stealing my lines?
"Breathe, Swan, you should see your face," he giggled.
I buried my face in my hands. What a silly idea to tell Emmett about my sex life. I was such a fool!
"I'm no expert in Edward Cullen, but I'm sure of one thing: Edward never dips his cookie in the same mug twice in a row, if you know what I mean... So, somehow, I think he cares about you, or at least he's interested in you."
Cookie? It's downright the whole packet of cookies, yes! He must have never seen "the Thing" in action.
Oh no, no licentious thoughts now. I gave myself a nice mental slap, to put me straight. Emmett was enough to manage and I didn't need to add more.
And first of all, was he into me? Not a chance. Aside from having been a little distractive challenge, I hadn't served any other purpose.
"I want, I take, I throw away," I muttered to myself.
"What?"
"No, nothing. He's not into me; he just loves to play. He wanted to have me for whatever reason, he took me and that's it... It ends there."
"If you say so. But the only other person with whom I've seen him many times is this Victoria and frankly, brrr, this chick gives me the creeps."
I raised a mocking eyebrow. Emmett frightened by Victoria, who would have thought!
"I saw you, Swan. If you dare openly make fun of me again, I assure you that I will get the juicy details on your fooling around with your boss."
Well done!
Oh shit...
He burst into laughter.
"It's too easy," he chuckled.
"Very funny, McCarty. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"It's not my fault. You're the one winding me up."
He calmed his laughter before continuing.
"What I meant to tell you, Bells, is that Edward is not the kind of man who opens up. So if he did open up to you, even just a little bit..."
"Hey, there you are, you two!" Alice exclaimed, leaping toward us.
Damn! Alice had unknowingly cut Emmett off in his tracks and I knew beforehand that our little chat was over.
"I've been looking for you, for a good ten minutes Emmett. It's time for your speech. You didn't think you'd escape me now, did you? I expect you to thank me in front of everyone for this party, so move your ass and run to the mike."
The bossy little pixie grabbed him by the arm and pulled him with all her strength to have him stand up.
"Calm down pipsqueak. I'm coming! I'm going to give you your moment of glory."
She released her grip, satisfied, and retreated to the crowd where she waited for Emmett to join her.
"My duty calls," he apologized as he got up, "but if I may give you some advice, go find him. Maybe he's an arrogant asshole, as you put it, but he's also my closest friend, and I know that behind his confident stance and cold appearance, he's a good guy."
"Go find him?"
"Hmm hmm... Listen to the voice of the wise man that I am."
"Very funny! You really think I should go after him?"
"It's up to you."
"In order to go find him I need at least know where he's gone like a fury," I retorted.
"He's no longer in his office?"
"No, he left after we had a squabble earlier."
"Well, Swan, we go from one surprise to another with you. A woman of character, I like it! He was angry?"
Uh... Berserk? Close to breaking? Completely alight? Freaked out... might be closer.
"Quite angry, yes."
"Then he will most certainly be at the Zanzibar."
"Emmmetttt!" Alice yelled impatiently.
"Commmiiing! One last thing. If you ever want to take my advice and go find him, you'll need this."
He plunged his hand into the back pocket of his black jeans and retrieved a card from his wallet.
"You will most definitely find him in one of the VIP box of the Zanzibar. It's usually there that he takes refuge to... um... relax. This is my permanent access card. With that you can enter without an invitation. Just tell Elliot that you come on my behalf," he said, handing me the black and silver rectangle.
"Elliot?"
"The bouncer at the entrance."
"Uh, thank you."
"One more thing. I know Ed and, if he was furious when he went there, then he won't be alone. He will certainly have company... feminine company."
Great... Brainless Barbie doll version or the option with integrated neurons?
"Oh... Uh... Thanks."
He slipped away towards a bustling Alice.
My eyes were locked on the card between my fingers. Should I go or not?
You want a kick in the butt or what?
Screw it!
Suddenly walking decidedly, I went back to what was my original destination before Emmett had waylaid me and raised doubts in my mind. I recovered my coat in the checkroom and promptly left the place and then the building.
A little over half an hour and a taxi later, I reached the club's now familiar entrance. I was starting to feel like a regular. Yet the first time Jake had taken me here was not that long ago. Only a few months had passed.
But what months!
I entered and walked along the room, zigzagging between the guests, and soon I found myself at the door separating the trendy bar from the ultra select VIP club.
"Invitation?" Bellowed a giant African American guy from the top of his seven feet.
Wow... Better not annoy this one.
The famous Elliot was rather the impressive kind.
"Good evening, Mr. McCarty lent me his card for tonight."
I handed him the small black and silver rectangle that I had been fiddling with for more than half an hour. After a quick glance, the bouncer stepped away from the large door. I thanked him politely while pushing the huge black door panels that lead into the large room, which had once again been metamorphosed.
I pushed a large white curtain aside; amazed, I admired the decoration. High glass columns, filled with a multitude of bluish and white translucent marbles, furnished the access to the different booths on either side of the dance floor. The columns were all decorated with small twinkling lights running along the crystal. The walls, draped in shiny silk, enhanced perfectly the lighting effects of these luminescent pillars.
As usual, the dance floor was packed with raging dancers who wiggled to the rhythm of the Trip-Hop music broadcasted by the huge speakers. Crossing their tangled bodies proved to be a very laborious task. Not without difficulty and after a few changes to the itinerary so as to suit the moving crowd, I finally managed to reach the large counter at the back of the room. I took a moment to discreetly ogle the rather attractive male specimens working there and looked more attentively at their outfit of the day, a black sleeveless vest and a bow tie, before calling out one of the bartenders who was approaching me.
Yum!
"What can I get you, gorgeous?"
"I'm looking for Edward Cullen."
The handsome guy with steel blue eyes enhanced by eyeliner paused, quite surprised, and then, leaning over his counter, he leered at me from head to toe.
"You're not his usual style."
What?
What was he talking about?
"He's in the second box on the right, with one of your colleagues. You've got some competition tonight, pretty girl," he laughed.
Am I dreaming or he just took me for a high-class prostitute?
Oh!
"Uh, no, it's not what you... I know him... We've worked together... I mean I've worked for him."
"Yeah, I have no doubt about it."
He snickered and turned to another customer.
Asshole!
I was stunned. As if I looked like a... Ahhh! I looked down at the little designer dress and the 200$ pumps Alice had lent me for the evening. That barman was just a moron!
Perhaps he's a moron, but he's sexy all the same.
Now that my target was located, I made my way among the clubbers. Oddly enough, it was easier for me to slip through the crowd than extracting myself from it. In a nervous gesture I smoothed an invisible crease at the bottom of my dress and, taking a deep breath, I got around one of the illuminated columns for entering the private booth.
Oh hell!
A blonde, skirt lifted to mid-thigh, was outrageously swaying her hips, sitting comfortably astride my ex-boss.
Too bad if I ramble but... OH HELL!
She was bestirring herself in the crook of his neck, leaving only her peroxided locks to my view, assembled in a bun, while she was savoring him from his jaw line to his collarbone, which was left bare by his slightly open shirt. An arm raised on the back of his seat and the other resting on the arm of the couch, Cullen relished the moment, a drink in hand.
And a castration by kicking at the right place, you think he'd relish it too?
Breathless, I stifled a gasp of astonishment. After all, what did I expect? Had I not just been mistaken for a high-class call girl, the likes of the scantily clad specimen playing 'rub and touch' under my nose? Seeing that kind of display with your own eyes was pretty... uh... baffling.
Fortunately neither one had even noticed me; they were too busy with their joint activities.
It proves that the earlobe nibbling requires great focus... Ah! I'm going to whip her ass. I'M GOING TO WHIP HER ASS!
I quickly repressed my murderous thoughts and chose the 'incognito' option instead. Carry out a discreet retreat seemed like a much better idea. Yet my legs remained bolted to the floor.
Give me a weapon to kill her! Hey oh... DON'T TOUCH!
I was disgusted by the situation, but I still remained there, motionless, my eyes fixed on them. I didn't want to leave without having this semblance of the discussion I came here to get. However, the timing was probably not the best...
It depends for whom, cause it seems pretty okay for both of them.
Just when I was stepping back to leave the booth, Edward raised his glass to his lips. While taking a sip, his eyelids unsoldered to land directly on me as I was standing straight like an "I" at the entrance of his private box.
Oh shit.
Whoops!
His expression swept a whole range of emotions in a split second. From surprise to anger, it was all there, until his gaze congealed in a cold and remote expression that froze me on the spot.
"Isabella?" he rasped.
Uh... How do you breathe?
I painfully breathed some air in.
His sharp voice at least had the effect of stopping the lascivious movements of the other earlobe sucker.
She doesn't only suck earlobes if you ask me...
"Laura, leave us."
"My name is Lola," she whispered to him, slipping her hand under his shirt.
"Regardless, leave us. Immediately," he commanded her.
The blonde complied. She stood up with ease, unfolding her endless and perfectly sculpted legs that gave me complexes, and offered me a disdainful look before leaving the place.
Oh yeah... I'm the one who stays with him and not you!
Cullen motioned me to settle on the seat in front of him. I sat in silence, quite nervous and intimidated.
"Did you forget some reproaches on your long list to come all the way here?" he asked in a tone that was meant to be mocking.
However, the joke didn't reach his eyes. Locked on me, they seem more suspicious, cautious even.
"I just came here to talk in a civilized manner."
"Civilized? Come on... A drink?"
He grabbed the bottle of bourbon on the small table in front of him.
"Uh, no thanks."
"Would you rather have a cocktail?"
"Neither. No more alcohol for me tonight."
He poured himself a glass and almost gulped it while staring at me attentively.
"So, what exactly brings you here? You want to further explore a specific point mentioned earlier in my office?"
"No, not really."
"I'm all ears, Isabella. To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?"
I inhaled sharply. A woman's gotta do... I rummaged in my bag, pulled out the kraft envelope, and placed it carefully on the table between us.
The effect was immediate. As soon as he recognized it, his jaw clenched.
"I see that snooping into other people's stuff is an integral part of your definition of the word civilized," he hissed.
"I didn't snoop into your things... You dropped it and I noticed it on my way out of your office," I justified myself.
"And you've presumed that since your name was on it you could have it? It didn't cross your mind that there was a reason why I hadn't sent it to you?"
His glass slammed on the table.
Okay... It's going to be mayhem.
"Tell me a little bit what's in that head of yours, Isabella. I can already see you rejoicing at the thought that I'm interested in you."
Staring at me with a look dark with anger, he leaned toward me like a wild cat pouncing on its prey. The table was the only object precluding us. I remained stoic, both petrified by his reaction and just passive, waiting for the storm to abate.
"Do I look like I'm rejoicing about anything?" I asked as calmly as possible.
"You're nothing else than a girl I picked up during a benefit dinner and that I screwed to take my mind off things."
Ouch, that hurts.
My breath caught in my chest. A jab in the stomach would not have been worse. I swallowed my tears. He wanted to hurt me, to make me suffer. But I wouldn't let him have this pleasure, or at least I wouldn't let him see that he'd reached his goal.
Everything was so predictable. So why did it hurt so much?
"You've been a simple pastime, Isabella," he went on vehemently. "You were there when I needed a diversion. I fucked you, you loved it, period."
I swallowed his words unflinchingly, too stunned to react. Each of his insults, of his cheap shots, showed me my helplessness. His shell was built out of reinforced concrete. Unshakable, unbreakable... Totally impassable. And so I had to face the facts; I was no match to fight against it.
"This," he added, pointing a finger at the envelope, "is just a moment of weakness that I've hastily eradicated. I'm an arrogant and manipulative asshole, you said it yourself, so get this through your skull once and for all: you were only a distraction that is beginning to seriously get on my nerves."
I abdicated. The CD and his little note had just been a slight crack that immediately clogged, leaving only a cold wall between him and me.
"I see," I enunciated calmly.
I grabbed the bottle of bourbon, and with a steady hand I poured myself a glass under his stunned and surprised expression.
"Thank God I was only a distraction. I would have felt so bad to have caused an overflow of joy in your sad and dreary existence."
I drank my glass in one gulp, swallowing a grimace when the brownish liquid burned my throat, while enjoying the astound expression that I had brought about in Mr. Absolute Control.
"It's giving yourself way too much importance, Isabella. You were and will always be just a poor little clumsy waitress to me."
What a jerk!
"Your attacks and blows below the belt no longer reach me. You can say whatever you want, Edward, this," I said pointing to the object of contention, "speaks for you. I won't have the pretentiousness of saying that you care about me, no. However, I note that as always, you're burying your head in the sand. You hide behind this arrogance and this contempt. How I pity you, Edward."
I quietly put my glass on the table and, just as quietly, I left my seat.
"With that being said, I wish you a good evening in the company of... hmm, what's her name again? Oh yes, Lola. I'm sure she will know how to entertain you wonderfully."
I turned to the entrance of the private area. From the corner of my eyes, I spotted the so-called Lola who was passing nearby. I then told her, a little louder than necessary, "He's all yours," sure that it would reach Edward's ears.
Then, without looking back, I left the private box and the Zanzibar.
Once outside, I avoided the clients huddled on the sidewalk and reached the street in stride. I motioned to the first taxi that turned onto 45th Street, eager to put as much distance as possible between this place and me. The vehicle stopped at my level. Luckily, it was vacant. I was about to open the door when a powerful and angry growl shouted at me.
"ISABELLA!"
I froze, my hand hanging in the air. That voice... It exuded such anger that I shuddered.
But this second of floating was enough for me to remember his words. I blinked, taking back the control of my body and my mind. I had nothing more to hope for from him, nothing more to expect either. So why bother having a final confrontation? He wasn't going to change. Ever.
Bolstered by this awareness, I opened the cab door, ignoring his call – or should I say barking? With a weary movement, I slid in the back seat and rested my head on the cold window as I asked the taxi driver to pull away without delay.
At that moment, I jumped and quickly sat up as a thud resounded inside the cab. It was the sound of Edward Cullen's fist crashing on the body.
"Speed up," I ordered the driver.
As the vehicle slipped into the rather fluid traffic of this New Yorker night, I turned to the Zanzibar. On the sidewalk, Edward, clenched fists and tense jaw, was staring at my taxi moving away.
Thank you, Lizzard43. For everything.
Until next time
Milk