WARNING: Strong language and dark themes
A year had passed and Neji had been released from the hospital for a good amount of time. He tried his best to keep his life at least a little like it used to be. Of course, every time he saw Hinata or Hinabi train, he was always reminded of his state. He wanted so bad to be where they were and be able to go on missions like they did. At times he felt like a hopeless child just holding on to the dream of walking again. Hiashi had appointed someone to help Neji with daily activities which only dented his confidence and self-esteem more. It's true that he had accepted what had happened, but that doesn't mean that he likes being bound to a chair every hour of the day. He began to think to himself.
'If I could have dodged that attack … none of this would have happened. I am so tired of everyone feeling sorry for me. I am Neji Hyuga. This should not have happened to me. I was going to be a great ninja. Now what am I? The children at the academy can do more than I can.'
A knock on the door took him out of his thoughts, "Sir, someone is here to see you."
"Bring them in," he replied
Tenten thanked the woman at the door and walked into the room closing the door for privacy, "Neji, what's wrong? You look awful. Did you sleep last night?"
He gave her a fake grin, "Only a little, but you do not need to be concerned."
She took his hand, "Neji, what's wrong?"
He sighed, "I told you it's nothing."
Knowing not to push the subject further she tried to change the topic, "Ok, so do you want to help me train? That always seems to boost your spirits."
He clenched his fists, "Damn training!"
Tenten jumped at the sudden outburst, "Neji! What is going on?"
"Nothing! Nothing is going on and I hate it! Do you know how boring these four walls are; how tempting it is to just get out of here?" he asked seething
She attempted to kiss his cheek until he pulled away, "Neji…"
"Give me a kuni." he said flatly
"Why?"
"Just give one to me."
She started to get one from her kuni pouch, "What are you planning?"
"It does not concern you." he answered
"Yes it does Neji, just tell me!"
He sighed, "If you do not want to help me, fine. I'll do it myself."
He reached above his bed and grabbed a framed photo throwing it to the floor and grabbing a large piece of glass. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and plunged the shard toward his skull.
"NEJI!"
The woman next to him threw herself at him to knock the glass out of his hand. Her attempt succeed but, in turn, landed her on the floor. She did not know why, but she started crying.
"Why would you do that?" she asked through her tears
He remained silent
"Were you … trying to commit suicide?"
He couldn't look at her, "What if I was? I told you it was of no concern to you."
She got up and sat next to him, "Neji, please I want to help you. Do you know what it would do to me if you died?"
"What it would do to you?! Don't give me that shit! You don't know what its like to be where I am! I was supposed to be a great ninja; now look at me! I can not do ANYTHING!" he yelled
Why was he acting like this? Why now? She could not figure it out.
"Neji … please…" words could not form
"I am sorry Tenten, but what use am I to anyone? I am useless even to myself."
She dried some tears, "That is no reason to take your own life! I don't know where all of this came from, but you are not useless. I thought you were happy. What happened to the man that left the hospital smiling?"
He scoffed, "Do you honestly believe I was ever happy after what happened?"
She lowered her hands off of him, "You mean … you were never happy with me?"
"I didn't mean it like that. But if I am being completely honest, I've been severally depressed for a while now. I don't want to deal with all of this sadness anymore," he said getting the shard of glass off the floor
Tenten took a kuni from her pouch, "Fine. If that is what you want to do, I'll go with you."
He looked over to her in disbelief, "Don't you dare."
"Why? Do you think I'm not strong enough to go through with it?" she dared
He continued their eye contact, "There is no reason for you to do this."
"I thought I told you my reason. I will not let you take your life. If I have to put mine on the line for you to back down, so be it. I'm not letting my best friend leave." she said determined
He quickly took the kuni from her hand thanking god that his speed did not let him down.
"This is my decision Tenten. Now back off." Neji said
"You're really serious about this." she said in shock
"I am. Now leave. I do not want you to see this."
"I guess I can't stop you," she kissed him and walked to the door, "Before you do this, I want you to know one thing. I love you Neji Hyuga and I hope you know that what you're doing is going to scar not only me, but everyone else who loves you too," she started to sob, "So do it! Take the one thing so many people hold dear away!"
She slammed the door and lowered herself to the floor holding her knees up to her chest. A few seconds later she heard the sound of the kuni and the glass hit the floor. The sound sent a shot of grief and pain strait through her only elevating her sobs. The Hyuga from the surrounding area came to see what was going on. Hiashi was part of the group and kneeled next to the crying woman to console her.
"What has he done to you?" Hiashi asked
She could hardly speak through the tears, "H-He … killed … h-h-him … self."
Hearing this, Hiashi's eyes widened, "What? He couldn't have."
He quickly flung the door open and sped into the room. His Nephew was laying on the bed, blood staining the sheets, "Neji!" The man went to the side of the bed to look at his face. He saw two gashes on his neck with blood relentlessly pouring out.
"Why? Come on Neji get up."
The older man became frantic looking for any signs of life. A tear rolled down his face blurring his vision. The younger man cracked one of his eyes open trying to figure out who was calling his name. Hiashi gasped as he saw this and, with all of his speed and power, brought him to the hospital.
"SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP HIM!" Hiashi yelled
Neji was immediately rushed to a room. Tenten, Hinata, and Hinabi burst through the door meeting up with Hiashi.
"Is he alive?" Tenten asked
"Barely." Hiashi answered
"What would make him do something like this?" said Hinata
Tenten looked at her, "I was talking to him before it happened. He said he had not been happy in a long time…"
"I know what you're thinking and this is not your fault." Hinata assured her
"I just don't know where all of this sadness came from. He seemed fine every time I visited him. I guess he kept it bottled up so long he just … I love him so much. All I want is for him to be ok, you know?" Tenten's sobs started anew
"We all love him. He will be fine I'm sure." Hinata said trying to ease the girl's pain
It was hours until the group got to see Neji. Hinabi was the first one in the room. She had not said much, but she wanted to see him better as bad as everyone else did. The rest followed behind. Hiashi immediately went to his side.
"Did he make it?" he asked
The doctor in the room answered, "It's a miracle, but yes, he is alive."
Tenten smiled and let out a breath she did not know she was holding. It was not too much longer until Neji woke up.
"Where am I?" he asked
Hiashi answered, "You are at the hospital. How could you do something like this? You had us all worried."
He looked down at his hands and moved his fingers to make sure that this was real.
"Are you feeling ok?" Hinabi asked
"Tired." he said barely able to speak
"We'll let you rest, but we will be coming back." Hiashi said taking his daughters out of the room
Tenten stayed seated in the corner of the room, "Just get some sleep Neji."
"Aren't you going to leave?" he asked
"No, now go to sleep. You need it." she said
He did as he was told and slept through the whole night. Tenten stayed with him until Hiashi and the others came the next day.
"Good evening Tenten. Did anything exciting happen?" Hinata asked
"Not unless you consider sleeping exciting," she got up and picked up some items she had gotten from home the night before, "I'll leave him to you all. He's still not talking a lot, but I guess that's normal for him."
Tenten gave one last look to Neji and left. Hinabi walked to the side of his bed.
"Are you feeling any better?" she asked
He looked at her, "I am. Do not worry about me."
Hinata went over and held his hand, "If you need any help, you know you can talk to me."
"Yes, thank you Hinata." he said
Hiashi, standing at the foot of the bed, wanted something answered, "What is going on with your friend? She seemed to want to leave in a hurry."
He sighed, "She thinks this is her fault."
"When you get out of here tomorrow, you need to tell her that none of this is on her." Hiashi ordered, feeling sorry for the girl
Neji answered, "It's not that easy. Do you think I want to talk about this?"
"I know it will be difficult, but it must be done or the same thing could happen to her. I do not think you want that to happen." he said
He did not say a word. He knew she would. What he didn't know is why she had not done it already. He saw her with a kuni in her hand willing to go with him. He would not be able to live with himself knowing that he was the one that caused her death.
"Bring her to me now." Neji said
Hiashi was a little alarmed by the tone of his voice, "What do you mean? You will see her tomorrow."
"That doesn't change the fact that she could be lying the same way I was right now. I want her here. Now." he demanded
"I'll go get her." Hinata said
"I'll go with you." replied her sister
"Very well, you two may leave." Hiashi told them as they made their way out the door
The two ran to Tenten's house, finally making it, then rang the doorbell. She opened the door surprised to find the two Hyuga sisters.
"What are you two doing here? I thought you were staying with Neji today?" Tenten said
"We were, but he said he wanted to see you." Hinabi answered
A look of confusion washed over Tenten's face, "Why?"
Hinata spoke up, "I'm sure he'll tell you when we get there. Come on Tenten."
She was hesitant to go, not knowing what would happen. She could not get the image of his almost lifeless body out of her head; the sound of the weapons hitting the ground tortured her. She walked outside knowing that if this was not settled now, it would never be settled.
They walked into his hospital room and Neji spoke up, "Thank you. I do not want to be rude, but can you give us some privacy?"
They all agreed to go outside and wait until the conversation ended. Meanwhile, Tenten went to her chair in the corner of the room never looking at him, she couldn't bring herself to.
"Tenten, please look at me." he pleaded
"I can't. If I look at you, all I will see are those bloody bedsheets." she said holding back tears
His heart broke a bit. He still couldn't believe he actually went through with it. Now she is having to deal with his reckless behavior.
"Please just come over here. Kiss me." he begged
She was shocked at how out-of-character his statement was. Neji would never say that. She slowly got up and did exactly what he wanted. Feeling his lips on hers instilled in her mind that he was not that semi-lifeless body Hiashi dragged out of that room. She knows she is strong when it comes to this kind of thing, but she couldn't hold the tears anymore. She cupped his face and deepened the kiss never wanting him to be that close to death again.
"Stop crying. You're ruining the moment." he said jokingly
She let out a chuckle, "Shut up."
She went back over to her chair going back to her previous mood, "Why did you do it?"
"I was not thinking about anyone else, just me. All I wanted was to stop the pain I felt every minute of every day. I am sorry that I gave some of that to you." he said
She looked at the floor, "You … you used my kuni. Your blood was on my weapon."
He didn't know how to respond so he stayed quiet. How he wished he could walk over there and take her in his embrace making sure she knew that she did nothing wrong.
"I know I said this when I first asked for you to be with me, but I did not know what it meant at the time. Right before you left my room the other day, you said you loved me. I am telling you right now that I love you too. I never want anything to happen to you, especially if it is because of something stupid I did. I need you to know that this is not your fault." he said
She smiled a bit, "You're acting so weird, telling me to kiss you, confessing your love," she paused, "I can't even tell you how crushed I was when I heard you drop those-" she let out a small cry
"I am deeply sorry…" he tried to assure her
He was spouting off every curse word he knew in his mind wanting his legs to move so badly. All he could do was sit there and watch her cry. As if she had been hearing his thoughts, she went over to him and held his hand, drying her tears.
"What would you do if I put you in this situation." she asked
"The exact same thing you are doing. I would not let you die unless I went with you. I would beat myself up day and night if something like this happened to you on my watch. You are acting exactly as you should." he answered
"I want you to promise me one thing ok?" she said
"Anything."
"Promise me that you will never end up in the hospital again."
He smiled, "I will try my best, but I will miss you sitting next to my bed every day."
She playfully punched him on the arm, "Oh please. Stop with all that lovey-dovey stuff."
"No, I don't think I will. You hate it too much." he joked
"Fine, but after today, you are no longer getting hospital visits from me. You need to stay out of trouble." she warned
"I think I can handle that." he joked as he captured her lips