Chapter 11: Citadel III – I'm Commander Shepard…

Lunch break had arrived for the shopkeepers. They closed their shops temporarily and headed down to the Zakera Café for some refreshments. Etarn Tiron released the shutters, walking out of his store, Rodam Expeditions. Taking a nice stroll down the stairs, he checked his balance for the day.

"Not bad," he told himself. "Made quite a bit today."

Taking a right turn, he arrived at the café, and found a table facing the waterfront. Sitting down, he signalled the waiter and ordered a cup of turian coffee. Waiting, a familiar face sat down at his table, across from him.

He looked up. "Ah! Kian! I didn't see you there."

The asari, Kian Louros, owner of the Sirta Foundation on the Citadel, smiled. "Daydreaming a bit, Etarn?"

He made an excuse. "Of course not. When do I ever day dream, huh?"

The asari laughed. "Just about all the time, friend."

Etarn tried to change the subject. "Anyways… how's your day been going?"

"Bad," the asari shrugged. "Got robbed this morning. Four humans in clown masks came in and demanded all the money. When I refused, they tied up everyone in the store, including me, and started drilling into the safe."

Etarn interrupted her. "What? A drill? Are you making this up? Who uses a drill nowadays?"

"Ho ho," a new voice said. "I do. I own a bunch of new thermal drills. Just came in from Overkill Supplies the other day."

Both of them turned to face the intruder, realizing it to be Marab, their friendly salarian shopkeeper.

"Ah!" Etarn shouted. "Marab! Welcome. Join us."

Marab, owner of Saronis Applications, pulled up a chair and sat down. "As I was saying, these drills from Overkill are really good! They can get through just about any surface. The only problem they have is that they always jam."

"Yeah," Kian said. "But at least they didn't steal much. And Shepard will get my money back! Sirta Foundation is his favourite shop on the Citadel!"

Etarn wore a confused face. "Wait a minute. Shepard said my shop was his favourite shop on the Citadel!"

"You're both wrong!" Marab shouted at the two. "Shepard said his favourite store was mine! He even recorded an advert for me!"

Kian shouted back. "He recorded an advert for me!"

"Me too!" Etarn added.

There was a moment of silence as the three shopkeepers looked at each other.

Etarn suddenly wore a serious face. "Commander Shepard… must die."

Shepard walked down the stairs to the Purgatory Bar. He had visited the hospital wing earlier. They were still constructing most of the machines that were damaged from the Cerberus attack, but it all looked good, except that they still hadn't scraped Kaidan off the ground floor. Shepard had expressed an idea of perhaps cloning Kaidan, but the council said they would put it to suggestion, which usually meant no.

"Too bad we couldn't find Ashley's remains," Shepard told James, who was walking along with him to the bar. "Maybe if we had both their remains, we could make a Kaidan/Ashley hybrid."

James was about to say something, when a shop caught his eye.

"Hey commander!" James said. "This shop sells an Ariake Technologies plate! We should get some!"

"Good idea, James," Shepard told the ISA soldier. "We should buy some for the whole crew. Wait here. I'll see if I can get a discount. I just saved the whole Citadel after all."

"Didn't Thane, Snake, and Raiden help?" James asked.

"No," Shepard said. "I did all the real work. They just supported me. Like you guys."

"Oh," James replied, a little sadly.

Shepard strolled into the shop slowly. The turian who manned the counter looked at him and creased his eye muscles. Shepard recognized him. He forgot his name, but he did know that this was one of the many favourite shops he had on the Citadel.

"Hi there," Shepard said hopefully. "This is my favourite shop on the Citadel, and I'm hoping to get a discount on some armor I wanted to buy."

"Yes," the turian shopkeeper said. "I know you, Commander Shepard. I would name my firstborn after you, but not after I found out a dark secret."

Shepard was clueless. "What secret?"

"This is not your only favourite shop. Is it?" he shouted as he pulled out a Graal spike thrower from under his table.

"What?" Shepard lied. "Of course it is!"

The turian didn't respond with words, and instead fired a round of the spike thrower at Shepard. The commander only had so much time to fall backwards as the spikes whizzed over his head and impaled the wall behind him.

"While the Citadel is still being rebuilt," he told him. "No one's going to bother if there are a few extra holes in the wall!"

Shepard got up and got out of the store. He quickly looked around for James, but the ISA gorilla had vanished.

"I'll deal with him later," Shepard said, running off to the next safe place.

He didn't have his armor with him, as this was supposed to be a nice stroll around, which meant that he had no energy shielding as well. If he got shot, he'd probably die instantly. At least he always kept a predator pistol with himself when he went around without his armor. He turned to look behind him. The shopkeeper had closed his store and took a look at Shepard. The commander couldn't help but smirk. Even with revenge in their minds, the shop keeps still wouldn't want to lose their stores. Shepard quickly hid his face behind the wall as spikes flew at him. He needed to keep moving to survive, so he got his footing and sprinted down the nearby staircase. He needed to get to the Normandy. If the shopkeeper wanted a fight, he would give him one. With the right equipment.

James took a look at the new game at the store. The back of the box promised unlimited fun, but he wasn't so sure.

"Is this unlimited fun true?" he asked the shopkeeper. "This… For a Greater Just Cause than Any Other?"

The shopkeeper turned to him. "Of course! Ever played those games? You'll never run out of things to do!"

"Hmmmm…" James wondered out loud. "Alright then. I'll get it."

"Excellent!" the shopkeeper scanned the game and tapped away at his console.

"100 credits," he told the soldier.

James paid up and pocketed his change. "If it's not unlimited fun, I'll be back."

"Of course!"

James took the bag from the shopkeeper and headed back towards the shop he left the commander at. Arriving, he noticed that the shop was closed, and the commander was nowhere to be seen.

"Strange."

James scratched his head like a cartoon, wondering where the commander had gone off to. Thinking perhaps he went back to the Normandy, James headed back to the hangars.

Shepard dodged around a wall. He had been running from the turian shopkeeper for a while now. The guy was a good shot, able to almost impale Shepard every time he shot. Shepard didn't want to shoot the guy, as it would be bad for his reputation and his selection of stores, but if the shopkeeper kept this up, he might not have a choice.

"You can't hide forever, commander!" the turian shouted, blasting wildly with his gun.

Shepard suddenly heard a new voice over the gun fire.

"Hey, Etarn!"

It was female. Shepard looked around the corner and saw an asari walking towards the turian. He recognized her as one of the shopkeepers he had spoken to before.

"Where'd he go?" she questioned.

"I don't know!" he shouted back. "If I knew, I wouldn't be standing here wasting my bullets would I?"

"I brought a life detector," she told him. "I thought it might come in handy."

Revealing a small metallic sphere, she activated it, unleashing a small red burst of energy. Suddenly, the asari turned in Shepard's direction and shouted.

"There!"

She pulled out a Disciple shotgun and blasted the wall Shepard hid behind. Shepard quickly ducked down as the shots sprayed through the wall just over his head. Sprinting from his crouching position, Snake managed to avoid more bullets as he made for the bridge across the plaza. He turned back to fire some rounds at their feet to try and scare them off, but it didn't work. They just stepped behind cover, and waited. As soon as Shepard turned back to focus on the front, they resumed their shooting. Crossing to the other end, the commander took a sharp left, running down an alley way, staying out of sight from the shopkeepers. All of a sudden, a salarian stepped out from behind a potted plant and faced the commander. He screeched to a halt, unsure if this was a random civilian, or one of those shopkeepers. He couldn't recognize this one. To him, all salarians looked alike.

He tried his luck. "Hi. Uh… How's it going?"

The salarian answered his previous question. "Not good for you, commander."

He pulled out a M-76 Revenant rifle from his back, and aimed it towards Shepard.

Shepard rolled his eyes along with his head, and broke into another sprint, dodging rifle fire as he ran. He could feel the heat of the bullets, dangerously close, as he made for another exit.

"Wouldn't go there if I were you, commander," the salarian shouted over to him, his voice fading as Shepard got further.

He didn't care. Taunts never worked on him, because he thought he was the best of everyone. He ran towards a big sign labelled exit. It was a staircase to somewhere else. Reaching the bottom, his foot hit something on the floor. He took a second to look down. It was a pressure plate.

"Uh oh," was all he could say as a net shot out from the side, pinning him to the opposite wall. "Perfect."

Mysterious gas shot out from the hooks in the net. Shepard inhaled them. It smelled kind of weird, but no gas has ever knocked…

Shepard woke up, groggy. He looked around the area, trying to remove the blur in his vision. He remembered getting trapped in some sort of net, and then gas.

"The gas must have been sleep gas or something," he told himself.

He tried to get up, but failed. Shepard looked down. Gravity cuffs locked him down to the ground, making him unable to move his arms and legs. He was in some kind of square room. It was quite dark, except for light coming from under a door in front of him. Voices came from behind the door. Shepard tried to listen. It sounded like the shopkeepers from before.

"You caught the commander, Marab?"

It was the turian. Shepard strained his neck muscles to bring his head closer to the door.

"Yes," another voice said. It sounded like the salarian. "My traps from Overkill got him. I told you to trust in their products."

The turian changed the subject. "Anyways, where'd Kian go? She needs to be here so we can all decide what to do with the commander."

There was a pause.

"I still can't believe he betrayed us. I always thought I was really his favourite."

"Me too! Who would've known he was a sneaky cheapskate."

Footsteps silenced the two. "I'm back guys. Sorry. Had to lock up my shop. Who knows who was there when I left to find the commander."

It was a female's voice. Shepard assumed it was the asari shopkeeper. Shepard thought for a while. There were three shopkeepers out to get him here. A turian, an asari, and a salarian. He had to get out fast. He didn't want to think what they would do to him first.

"No prison can hold the Shepard," he whispered to himself, careful to not let the shopkeepers know he was awake. A little bit of self-esteem was always good.

"You forgot to lock it when you left?!" the turian shouted at the top of his voice. "Shopkeepers never forget that!"

"Well-"

"Stop shouting you two!" the salarian interrupted. "There's customers."

Shepard listened. More footsteps entered the 'store'.

"Hello there, and welcome to Saronis Applications," the salarian said nicely. "How may I assist you?"

"Just browsing, thanks."

Shepard identified the voice as a human's. Maybe he could get their attention and he would find him locked up in this room. She struggled against his cuffs again. The most he could do was rattle them a bit, but it was useless to try to lift his arms. The cuffs were too heavy.

Shepard was about to give up for a while, when another voice startled him. "Everybody get down!"

Shepard looked up, imagining he could see through the door. All he could see was darkness, and a little light from under the door.

"Down on your belly!" another voice shouted.

Shepard heard the whimpering voices of one of the shopkeepers as people moved around the store. Glass was shattered and a sound like some sort of drill started, very near him.

"They must be drilling into this room!" he thought, happy that he was going to be rescued. "It's probably my team. Except James. He disappeared before."

More voices were heard. "Keep civilians away. We don't want to have to kill anyone. Except for guards."

"Grab all the merchandise. Don't leave anything behind. And make sure the civilians are all tied up."

"Ok…" Shepard thought. "That can't be my team."

A strange penetrating sound suddenly pierced the air around Shepard with its loud, continuing noise. It sounded like someone was trying to drill his way to where Shepard sat. The noise was deafening in the small enclosed space Shepard was stuck in. Unable to move his hands, he had to listen to the loudness of the sound for a couple of minutes until it finally stopped. Looking up, the door slowly opened, revealing to Shepard that the shopkeepers had locked him in a vault. He looked around as more light poured into the room. Four humans wearing clown masks walked into the vault. They each held a rifle in their hands, pointing it around furiously as they entered.

One with strange pink eyebrows looked to Shepard. "Who're you?"

Shepard stared at the rifle pointed at him. "Uhm… I'm… uh… just some guy."

"Just stay down!" the man shouted again.

Shepard looked at his cuffs. "No problem."

The four masked men started grabbing everything they could get their hands on. Money, gold, even weapons, and stuffing all of them into little blue bags. Shepard watched patiently as they moved about the vault, going out every now and then to check on the shopkeepers.

One of the men with a US flag clown mask moved towards the entrance. "Ok guys! We're done here! Let's go!"

With that, the four men ran out of the store, where a kodiak awaited them. It had its own custom paint job, which made Shepard wonder how they never got caught. Shepard watched as the Kodiak moved out and sped off. Suddenly, it was all quiet again. Shepard looked around. He was still trapped in the cuffs, but so were the shopkeepers now. They were down on the ground, cable ties keeping their arms behind their back. The commander couldn't help but laugh. If he could just get out, he would go over to them and mess with them. Then it occurred to him. He had an omni-blade! The commander would have smashed his palm into his face if his hands weren't tied. Activating the omni-tool, the blade materialized out and slashed the cuff off, releasing him from the gravity hold. Standing, Shepard rubbed his wrist, because that's what people do when they break out of their cuffs. He walked into the store, taking a look at the robbery that had just occurred. Almost nothing was left. Tech, weapons, and money, all gone. He walked over to the shopkeepers as they lay on the ground.

"I'm commander Shepard, and this is my favourite moment on the Citadel!" he told them. "What's stopping me from using a concussive shot on you guys right now?"

The salarian shopkeeper whimpered as he thought about it. "Please, commander! We're sorry! We won't do it again!"

Shepard lifted an eyebrow. "Really now?"

The asari shopkeeper spoke up. "Yes! We'll never give you trouble again if you let us live!"

Shepard thought about that for a while. "How about a discount?"

The salarian shopkeeper looked in shock as the commander asked for a discount. Again.

"How about it?"

"Fine," he replied, defeated. "You'll get your discount, commander."

Shepard smiled. "Glad that we understand each other."

With victory in his hands, he walked out of the store in a slow swagger, making sure to show that he had won. The shopkeepers watched as the commander left the store entrance, still lying on the ground with their hands tied up with the cable ties.

"This is just perfect."

Shepard arrived at the war room, still strolling around with his swagger.

Traynor saw him and just had to ask. "Something good happen, commander?"

He smiled. "Of course! I just got a great discount on the Citadel!"

Liara had overheard that last sentence and walked towards the commander. "This is not another one of your lying problems, is it?"

"Ehm… No, no," Shepard tried to say. "They gave me a discount because they wanted to!"

"Right."

Pretending not to hear any more conversation, Shepard walked up to the Galaxy Map in the middle of the room. He stood in his usual place, and took a good look at the map. There were many places he had yet to visit in his travels of the galaxy. According to him, if he visited all the planets in the galaxy, he would be the best in the universe here.

"Traynor," the commander told his specialist. "Set a course for the nearest planet I have not been to before. It's time I went on another adventure today."

Project Eel – Citadel III

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