I am so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in ages! I will try not to let it happen again, I swear. I just haven't had any time recently to write and then I had huge writers block and couldn't get it written. But I powered through and here we are. I hope you like it. Oh and I think I mentioned it, but I'm not sure– Snow is about 3 months pregnant in this story.

Thanks to all the follows, favourites and reviews!

WARNING: Mentions of self harm.

Chapter 7

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Emma had barely spoken a word to anyone throughout and Snow kept not-so-subtly worriedly looking at Emma, fidgeting the whole time. David and Henry were trying to keep up the conversation, but the tension was still clearly palpable in the room.

Regina hadn't spoken either. She could read Emma perfectly well, and could tell that she was angry. It wouldn't take much for a full-blown argument to happen. And if she knew anything, it was that Snow did not know when Emma was close to boiling point. And Snow had a knack of saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong moment.

"Is there any dessert, Mom?" Henry piped up, breaking the deafening silence that had somehow permeated the room.

"Of course, dear," replied Regina. "We have apple pie and ice cream. How about we clear the plates and go get it, hmm?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically and started collecting everyone's plates. Emma offered him a small smile when he took hers, and he beamed back at her.

Once the two had left the room, it was just Emma, Snow and David left. Emma pointedly looked away from them, while Snow opened and closed her mouth several times, looking like she was going to say something. Finally, she spoke.

"So…Emma. How are you feeling?" Emma finally looked at her, only to raise an eyebrow in amused fury. Of all the things she could have said, she went with that.

"Oh, I'm just great," she deadpanned. "Really."

Snow had the decency to look a little ashamed at what she'd just asked, but she didn't stop speaking. "I just want you to know that we're here for you. We're a family, Emma, and we're going to help you get through this."

Emma sighed and mumbled "Only for the next six months." Snow looked confused, not having fully heard what Emma had said. "What?" she asked, but before anyone could say anything else Henry came bounding in.

"Pie!" he exclaimed excitedly, causing the adults to laugh and for the subject to be dropped.

They sat in relative silence eating the pie, except for Henry's occasional outbursts of praise at his mother's cooking.

After it was eaten and the dishes cleared away, Snow and David suggested they have a movie night. Emma quirked an eyebrow at the idea but acquiesced.

Unfortunately, Emma ended up sitting by Regina. The lounge only had two two-seater couches and an armchair that Henry was currently occupying. Naturally the Charmings had sat together, leaving Emma to sit as far away as possible as she could from Regina. She could feel the awkwardness of the situation, but chose to ignore the brunette.

Regina was no less comfortable. Much as she wanted to be close to Emma, she realised she didn't have the right to do so. She sighed inwardly as Emma scooted closer to the arm of the chair, leaving a fair distance between the two.

They hadn't properly spoken since Emma had woken. Emma had no idea of any of what Regina had said to her while she was unconscious. If she had though, it probably wouldn't have affected her anger. She was still extremely hurt and pissed off with Regina. Understandably so.

Both women knew they would have to talk it all out at some point, but they both chose to put it off, knowing it would be extremely uncomfortable and emotional.

Once the movie had finished, they all trooped off to bed. Emma kissed Henry goodnight then made her way to her room. She sighed as she looked at the bed. Another night alone. She desperately missed the warmth of another person and the stability she felt from it. There was something about being wrapped in the arms of a loved one that calmed her.

Emma felt the stress of the day weighing on her and picked up one of her notebooks. She started to write, feeling the burden of the day slowly ease away as she let all of her thoughts flow onto the page.

A few rooms away, Regina tossed and turned throughout the night, not having had a good sleep since she pushed Emma out of her life.

The next morning dawned far too soon for Emma's liking. She had managed a dream-free sleep, which was rare these days, only for it to be interrupted by the bright light of the sun.

She rolled over groggily, checking the clock. She burrowed under the covers with a groan as it was only 6am. Sleep, however, evaded her. After half an hour of tossing and turning, she decided it was pointless.

It was a beautiful, crisp day outside. Emma had not gone on a long run in a while, and she suddenly felt the urge. Exercise always cleared her mind, and the burn of her muscles distracted her from the pain in her mind.

So she pulled on some exercise clothes, grabbed her trainers, and quietly made her way out of the house. She didn't stop to leave a note; she figured no one would be up by the time she got back.

She ran, feeling the wind blowing through her hair and hearing nothing but the pounding of her own feet. It was freeing, and Emma felt more relaxed than she had in months. Running seemed to wipe everything else off her mind and made her focus on the present.

She stopped as she got to the pier, taking her time to appreciate the water. The waves were extremely calming, and Emma realised she hadn't been to the pier in some time. She sat down on a bench, hugging her knees to her chest, just watching as the waves crashed against the rocks.

Emma's eyes slowly fluttered closed as the soothing sounds lulled her to sleep.

Some time later, Emma awoke with a start. She looked around confused for a moment before realising where she was. She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep for but she thought she should get back to the house as quickly as possible, just in case her family were looking for her.

She made it back to the house fairly quickly, and let herself in. It was almost 8:15 according to the clock in the foyer. Emma hoped no one was up yet, but then she heard the unmistakeable sound of Regina's heels running closer to her.

"Snow, David? Did you find her? I–" Regina stopped short as she ran in and noticed Emma. There was a small moment of awkwardness as they realised they hadn't been properly alone in a long while.

"Oh, Emma, there you are. I–we were worried when you weren't here, and when you didn't come back your parents went to search for you."

"Oh. Sorry. I went for a run, and didn't think I'd be that long so I didn't leave a note. I guess I got caught up in it and didn't notice the time pass."

Regina simply nodded. She was having a hard time averting her eyes from Emma's body. Emma was wearing a simple tank top and shorts, and there was a thin layer of sweat coating her body. Regina hadn't seen her like this in several months, and her attraction to Emma hadn't been at all doused in the time they were apart. She wanted to run over to her and kiss her, but she knew that wouldn't be at all appreciated.

The silence hung in the air for a few moments before Regina collected herself. "I'll go call your parents and let them know you're here. Henry is still asleep at the moment. I-I'm going now." Regina ran off, slightly flustered. She fumbled with the phone before calling the Charmings.

Snow had poked her head in Emma's room at about 7:30 and immediately panicked when Emma wasn't there. She'd searched the house in a frenzy, not listening to David or Regina trying to offer her any reasonable explanations as to why she was gone. She'd insisted David come with her to search for Emma, and so they had gone, leaving Regina very exasperated.

As soon as Snow heard the news, she sped back to the house like a shot. She was acting rather ridiculously, but David didn't dare comment.

Snow entered the house and ran to the kitchen where she found Regina starting breakfast. She raised an eyebrow at Snow's dishevelled appearance.

"Where–Is–Emma?" panted Snow.

"She is currently in the shower, dear. Unless you want to disturb her, which I strongly advise against, then I suggest you wait until she is finished."

Snow fumed slightly at the snarky remark, but chose to let it go. She sighed and collapsed on one of the chairs at the kitchen island, and let David who had just entered pour her a coffee.

"I was just so scared," she said quietly. "When I woke this morning and Emma wasn't there…I just kept imagining all sorts of horrible things that were happening to her. I can't lose her again. I've lost her too many times."

David wrapped his arms around Snow and she leaned her head on his shoulder. The whole situation was taking its toll on them, although they weren't exactly helping it along.

Henry eventually emerged into the kitchen, sniffing the air hopefully. When he noticed Emma's absence, he frowned. "Where's Ma?" he asked.

"Right behind ya, kid." Emma appeared in the doorway, smiling at her son. She looked a lot better this morning; more relaxed and content.

Henry looked relieved and hugged her before focusing on his stomach again. "Where's the food?" he asked, which made everyone chuckle.

"Right here, dear," said Regina, serving up waffles.

Breakfast went surprisingly well. Emma was feeling much better after her run, and managed some conversation with Snow and David. They all felt a little more relaxed and happier.

There's always calm before the storm.

As Snow was finishing up hers, she suddenly clapped her hand over her mouth and rushed out of the room.

"Morning sickness," said David, by way of explanation. He went after Snow, and they could all hear tell-tale signs of retching from the downstairs bathroom.

After a few minutes they emerged looking happier than they should have, considering the circumstances.

"Why are you guys smiling?" asked Henry bemusedly. Snow and David grinned at each other before Snow lifted her shirt up just enough to expose her stomach.

"Look!" she said excitedly. "It's starting to show, you can tell there's a baby in there now. Isn't this great?!" Henry beamed and ran up to the two, hugging them tightly.

"Wow, this is so cool. I'm going to have an aunt or uncle!" He exclaimed. David ruffled his hair. "That you are buddy."

Emma had been very silent during this exchange. The happy bubble that had surrounded her for the morning felt like it had suddenly burst. She took in the happy faces of her parents and felt her heart shatter.

They looked so excited. They wanted the child; they wanted a fresh start. They wanted a child who they could raise, not a sorry excuse for a person who was their age. When they baby was born, they wouldn't want her. In time they would be consumed by the baby and forget her. Emma couldn't deal with that.

She stood up abruptly, surprising everyone in the room. "Excuse me. I'm not feeling well. I think I need some air." She fled the dining room quickly.

Snow, David and Henry took her words at face value. They looked on sympathetically as she ran out and then returned to conversing about the baby. But Regina could tell. She knew Emma well, knew all of her insecurities, acknowledging with a flinch that she had exploited them all over the past few months. Emma was feeling far from alright.

She mumbled something about checking on Emma and exited the dining room in search of her.

Emma was not in her room or in the rest of the house. Regina growled in exasperation before she remembered how much Emma liked nature.

She went into the garden and found Emma sitting with her back to a tree, writing in her notebook. Her face was calm except for the small furrowing of brows that indicated she was concentrating.

Regina approached her slightly warily. Emma had no reason to put her confidence in Regina and would probably tell her to go away. But she decided to try anyway.

"Emma? Are you alright? What are you doing?"

Emma looked up, startled by the interruption to her thoughts. She looked up to find a very nervous Regina who was wringing her hands together. She looked like she was ready to be yelled or screamed at. Emma felt a little sad as she thought over what their relationship had become. Nothing but shambles.

"I'm fine. I'm just writing. It helps me clear my head, y'know? I used to do it all the time when I was a kid. I guess it's been a while since I've needed to do it, but here we are."

She didn't know where the honesty had come from, but she was past the point of caring.

Regina looked a little shocked from the admission, and eyed Emma curiously. Emma had never talked about writing during their relationship. For Emma, it was because she hadn't felt the need to release her anger or sadness. It had all seemed to fade away. But now…well, she had things to be angry and sad about.

"Oh, ok," said Regina. "I, well, I could tell you were a little upset back there. I just wanted to check on you. Do you mind if I sit?"

Emma nodded and Regina sat on the ground facing her. She fidgeted nervously with her hands, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"So, you don't have to talk. Not if you don't want to. I'm guessing I'm the last person you want to see right now, but we'll get to that later. What I want to say is that I never realised how much Snow's pregnancy might be affecting you. They don't want to replace you, you know. They love you more than anything, they just don't really know how to show it."

Emma scoffed. "Please. They're ecstatic because they have a chance at actually raising a child, and that it will turn out nothing like me. They'll raise some perfect little prince or princess, who will be nothing like their criminal worthless other child. They don't want me. They want the idea of me; their perfect saviour daughter who can never put a foot wrong. But that's not me. I'm not who they think I am. And I never will be."

Regina gasped slightly and her eyes filled with tears. "Emma. I know I'm the last person you will believe, but you are worthy of all the affection they give you. You are enough. They know who you are and they love you all the same. Please believe me. You are enough." She wasn't sure how Emma would take those words, since her behaviour had been contrary to that for the last few months.

Regina couldn't really believe what she'd done to Emma. Looking at her now, seeing so broken, her heart shattered into thousands of pieces knowing it was her fault. She'd turned Emma away and made her believe she didn't love her. She could never, ever make up for what she'd done. But she had to save her somehow. She had to make her see just how beautiful and amazing she was.

Emma simply gave a tight smile at Regina's words, clearly not believing them. "It's ok, Regina," she said in a voice devoid of any emotion. "You don't have to lie to me. I know you don't really believe that. I'm not naïve enough to think otherwise. You've made your feelings pretty clear. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go somewhere."

Emma stood up quickly and walked away, leaving Regina in a haze of pain and confusion. She put her head in her hands and wept for Emma, wept for what she'd done to her.

Emma all but ran back into the house, wanting to simply get away from Regina. It hurt too much to talk to her, to hear such words come from her mouth. She couldn't believe that Regina meant them. Regina spent the last 3 months basically telling Emma she was worthless and that she wanted nothing to do with her.

She couldn't figure out her angle. Emma at this point firmly believed that Regina had never loved her, although it didn't make the pain any less. So why was she saying all these things? Was she trying to manipulate her?

What really confused Emma was that Regina had looked so sincere. She'd seen nothing but concern in those brown eyes. But if Emma knew anything, it was that Regina was a master of hiding emotion and true feelings.

So she just supposed that she was lying to her, probably so she'd pull herself together enough not to hurt Henry again.

Emma sighed. She was always messing things up. She couldn't do anything right. She couldn't be a good daughter or a good mother.

She couldn't even make Regina happy.

Emma didn't know what to do with herself anymore. In 6 months she would become of second importance to her parents. In a few years Henry would undoubtedly leave for college and move on with his life.

And Regina…well. She clearly wanted nothing to do with Emma.

So Emma felt like she had nothing. Again, she was being left in favour of newer and better things. She was being traded. She was not enough. And that hurt more than anything.

Being around everyone at once was too much. She was constantly reminded why she had done what she did, not how she was meant to get better.

With a sob, Emma reached into her bedside table and pulled out her penknife. She lifted up her tank top with a shaking hand and pressed the knife in, drawing small lines. The pain and the blood reminded her that for once, she was just human.