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TRIGGER: this contains eating disorders if you feel you may be affected please don't feel like you have to read

I don't own Emmerdale all rights go to ITV

Chapter 28:

"Right then, here we go" Ross said as he put the pints down on the table before sitting down. "You two alright?" Ross asked. "Yeah" Victoria said, while Finn sat there staring down at his pint. Why did he have a pint? He didn't deserve it, normally he'd come in here with Val and have a pint but now he can't and it's his fault.

"Finn" Ross said, gently nudging him under the table. "What?" Finn asked, his pale face showing when he looked up at Ross. "Are you alright?" Ross asked, repeating the question that he'd just asked the both of them. "Yeah" Finn said nodding.

Victoria looked at her friend, her best friend, and she had to stop the tears from falling. What had happened to her best friend? This wasn't the Finn she knew, this wasn't the Finn anyone knew. She'd felt sick when she'd seen him earlier, sick that someone could become that ill. It scared her.

"Right well, we've been out of action for a while so what's been happening?" Ross asked taking a sip from his beer, hoping to change the subject. "Nothing much", Victoria replied, "just the same as always." Ross nodded and looked to Finn who was still staring down at his pint. "Got anything to add?" Ross asked his brother. "Erm, no" he said looking up from his pint.

Finn hated this, he didn't know what to say. He was nervous and uncomfortable, he shifted in seat and pulled his coat around his hands. Why did he let Ross drag him there. He felt ashamed and everyone who looked at him knew what he'd done; knew that it was his fault Val was dead. He couldn't stand it and now he couldn't even look his best friend in the eyes.

"So how have you been then?" Ross asked Victoria, he was trying to start a conversation so Finn would join in. However that wasn't happening. "Yeah, I've been fine" Victoria said, she looked at Finn. "How have you been?" Finn looked up when be realised Victoria was talking to him; he didn't know what to say.

"Erm, I've been fine" Finn said and Ross tried to hide his eye roll. Finn was far from fine and he knew it. "Good, got any gossip for me?" Victoria asked Finn, hoping to get a conversation between them going. "Nope" Finn said bluntly and looked to his right to avoid Ross on his left and Victoria in front of him. Victoria looked down at her phone and knew this was her chance. "Look, I've gotta go but I'll see you later okay" she said to Finn who just nodded. As she stood up and got her coat, Ross shot her a sad smile and she returned it.

"What was all that about?" Ross asked Finn after Victoria had left. "Ross don't" Finn said as he rubbed his hand over his pale face. "Don't what Finn?" Ross asked, now starting to worry. "Can we just, can we just go?" Finn asked quietly and Ross sighed. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring Finn here. "Is that what you want?" Ross asked, finishing his pint. Finn nodded and looked at his untouched pint. Ross saw this and poured half of Finn's drink into his empty glass; it didn't look so bad.

"Come on then" Ross said as he stood up followed by Finn. Ross walked through the pub with Finn to the exit and as he looked to the bar, Dianne smiled ay him and he smiled back praying for the same thing as Dianne.

Victoria got home and sat down on the sofa. A single tear rolled down her cheek. The man she just saw wasn't Finn, it was a stranger who'd she'd never met. It was so hard to sit down and talk to this person who had clearly built a brick wall around themselves that wasn't supposed to be knocked down. She didn't know what she was supposed to say, or what she was supposed to ask Finn. It was like she was walking on thin ice and any second it would break.

As Ross walked home, he noticed that Finn was walking slowly behind him. He checked his phone and it was only 8:30pm but Finn sounded exhausted. Then Ross realised that Finn hadnt eaten since that morning, nearly 12 hours ago. He stopped and turned round to look at his fragile little brother and put his arm round him. "Come on, let's get you home."

Finn and Ross made it home and Finn walked in about to go upstairs. "Finn wait" Ross said as he walked into the kitchen. Pete watched what was going on from the sofa, nothing how tired Finn looked. He got up and went into the kitchen to find Ross making a sandwich, presumably for Finn.

"How did it go?" Pete asked and Ross sighed. "Not good", Ross replied cutting the sandwich in half, "he's not himself Pete and it's affecting his friendship with Victoria." Pete looked through and saw that Finn had taken his coat off and was now sitting on the sofa. "I'll take that through", he said taking the plate from Ross, "you got upstairs and sort yourself out." Ross reluctantly handed over the plate and then asked, "where's dad?"

"He's upstairs, sorting some stuff out" Pete said and Ross nodded. "Make sure he eats some of that" Ross said, referring to the sandwich. "I will, don't worry" Pete said knowing that even though Ross didn't show it, he was terrified for Finn. "Good, I'll see you later on" Ross said before leaving to kitchen and going upstairs.

"Hey" Pete said as he walked into the living room and put the sandwich down in front of him. He sat down next to Finn and grabbed the remote trying to make things as normal as possible, however for Finn that would never happen.

Finn looked down at the sandwich and knew he didn't have a chance, Pete would sit with him until he ate it. Except Finn couldn't bring himself to take a bite, he didn't deserve it and did Val get a sandwich made for her. Nope. He saw Pete look at him from the corner of his eye and he knew this was going to be a long night.

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See you next chapter :)