It Aint Pretty

I sat across from Bella, the day after she had announced who she was going to be having in her bridal party, feeling sick and not myself. I thought that maybe I had a cold, or maybe I had the flu, but I wasn't overly concerned. I knew that I would get over it and I would be fine. I knew that I had to.

"Edward got me the perfect ring. It really is just so beautiful." Bella held up her hand and her ring caught the light and sparkled. I felt a twinge of jealousy shoot through me at the sight of her ring. I felt jealous because I wanted she had and I wanted to be engaged and getting married.

"It's beautiful. And your dress, is simply gorgeous." Alice was Bella's maid of honour, I felt jealous. Rosalie was her first bridesmaid, I felt jealous.

"Thanks." Bella seemed a little less enthused than Alice and Rosalie about the wedding, but she still kept a smile on her face.

The three of them carried on a conversation, while I sat back against the expensive couch, cup of tea in hand and went deep into my thoughts. It had started out as a small train of thought, about why I hadn't felt good lately. My thoughts soon drifted from those thoughts to Jake.

I thought back to when we had first met and how I was drawn to him right away and didn't want to be away from him. I remembered how he called me beautiful and perfect. He was and is my best friend, I love him. But something…didn't feel right.

"Bailey? Are you alright?" A voice like bells came from my left. I couldn't tell if it was Esmé, Alice or Rosalie. It didn't matter because the voices faded until there was nothing left but muffled voices.

"Bailey?" I bent over my knees and gagged, feeling bile come up my throat. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. I felt it come out and my head started spinning. I felt sicker than I ever had. My body was shaking, my head felt like it was splitting and my vision was going blurry.

'Jacob.'

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I was scared, I was terrified. I was frightened and I felt alone. I had kept it from Jacob, Jake, my best friend, didn't know. Charlie didn't know, Bella didn't know, no one knew. I had lied to them all. I had said it was the flu. I said I had a cold. It was worse. It was devastating and I knew I needed to tell someone, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to say or how to say it.

Bailey. Please…come in." I stood and walked into Dr. Cullen's office, he was the only one that knew that something serious was happening. He was the only one that knew and I made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone.

"Hi." My voice was soft, I was expecting bad news. My hair was hidden, I hadn't had it down since I found the bald spot and I had refused to have it under anything but a beanie. I

"How have you been feeling?" I wanted to roll my eyes, I wanted to yell and scream and throw things, anything to feel better. Anything to get rid of the dread that has followed me all day. I wanted to swear like a sailor, but I knew that none of this would make me feel better. It wouldn't change anything.

"I've been sick. My hair is falling out and I've thrown up every day. I feel weak and tired and I look like I have two black eyes. People think I'm getting abused." I sat in the chair across from his desk and frowned. Everything was looking up and now it's about to change.

"Bailey…I know that these results may or may not be positive. We won't stop searching for the answer. We'll find out what's wrong. But you need to tell Jake. He needs to know what's going on." I heard his voice, I heard what he was saying, I even absorbed the information he was telling me, but I didn't react. I didn't smile or frown or cry or yell. I stared at him, blank face.

"What's the results?" I tried to keep my voice calm and even. I tried to keep a level head, despite the fact that I was freaking out on the inside. I was afraid to find out what sickness had ailed me.

"I'm sorry Bailey." Dr. Cullen opened the folder and I saw 'Positive' in bright, red letters sitting on top of a paper. It had things that I couldn't read and didn't want to read. My vision started going blurry again, but not because I was losing consciousness, but because of tears.

"I have to go." I stood and left the office, flinging the door open and briskly walking down the hall. I ignored Dr. Cullen calling after me. I ignored the sound of his footsteps coming after me. My goal was getting outside. I didn't want to be in the hospital anymore.

"Bailey." Dr. Cullen grabbed my wrist, gently, and stopped me from going any further.

"Please leave me alone. Please." Dr. Cullen moved in front of me and dug his phone out of his pocket.

"I'm calling Edward to drive you home. You can't drive under this condition. It's dangerous for you." I didn't fight Dr. Cullen. I stood there while he called, staring at the hospital, biting my bottom lip and sniffling.

"You'll fight it. You'll survive. You're a fighter. But please, you need to tell Jake. He needs to know. He has a right to know you. He loves you." I nodded and wiped away the few tears that were still there. I mustered up a smile at Dr. Cullen.

He stood with me for a minute until his pager had gone off, then he apologised and walked into the hospital leaving me alone. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked around the hospital at all the cars in the parking lot and the people coming and going. I wondered how many other people were in the same situation as me. I wondered if they had thought the same thoughts I had or had the same worries.

"Bailey? Are you ready?" I looked at Edward, and his shiny Volvo, and had no doubts that he was reading my mind, either that or Dr. Cullen had told him what happened.

"Yeah." If he did know, he hadn't said anything. He just opened the door for me and closed it behind me when I had gotten in.

I frowned when I was buckled up and reached up and touched the spot on my head that was void of hair.

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I do not have cancer, I don't know anyone that does have cancer. I'm writing about it simply for this fan fiction. I don't mean to offend anyone with cancer with what I write, so please don't be offended if I get anything wrong or if what I write isn't what really happens. Thank you for reading, and sorry again, if I offend anyone. Thanks for all the reviews and favourites and follows!