Seven:
Snapshots of a Life

Daisy was holding a sleeping Jamie, still reading to him softly, when Ruth came back into the living room. Daisy glanced up at her and smiled a little, then whispered, "He just went to sleep, mum."

"It's been a long day for him," Ruth commented softly. "Want me to take him to bed?"

"At least let me finish his story," Daisy teased.

Ruth wasn't about to let her daughter's good mood go to waste, and she nodded her assent, falling into one of the chairs tiredly and closing her eyes. It was good to see Daisy happy, as she hadn't been since Jamie had been sprung into her life only the day before. Sending her off to the MoMA had been a good idea, it seemed.

Once Daisy closed the book, Ruth opened her eyes and got up to carry Jamie off to his room for a short nap before dinner. She came back and saw Daisy fiddling with a sketchbook and drawing pencils. She looked over Daisy's shoulder and smiled. "Oh, that's quite good," Ruth commented.

"It's from memory," Daisy replied softly. "It's not that good; I don't remember my old dad much."

"No, it's very good," Ruth said, sitting down beside her. "Can I see -?"

Daisy reluctantly handed over her sketchbook and said, "I love art. Uncle Malcolm says if Rose and I are quite good for our minders, he'll think about talking to daddy about taking me to the Louvre in Paris for my birthday so I can see the Mona Lisa." She blushed a little. "Daddy will say no, though – it's too dangerous."

"You let me handle your father," Ruth said. "I think it's a lovely idea – and you're quite an artist, Daisy."

Daisy smiled. "These aren't the good ones," she said. "These are practice. I won an award last term cross-England for a drawing of Aunt Ros at the cemetery." She fell silent, the smile vanishing from her face. "She was so sad and so beautiful."

Ruth flipped through the sketchbook and said, "I'm very proud of you, Daisy –"

"You shouldn't be," Daisy said. "I'm not good at school like Rose. She's going to Oxford; I'm going to be lucky to get through Sixth Form."

"Not everyone is meant for school," Ruth said gently. "I'd love to be able to change your mind, but… I mean, even when you were younger, I didn't know you were this good at drawing."

"I wasn't," Daisy said quietly. "But I learned because I wanted to remember you, mum. And we didn't have a lot of pictures of you. Daddy said it was dangerous."

"Your father does love that word," Ruth said with a sigh. "So you drew pictures of me?"

Daisy nodded, a little sheepishly. "He said you were okay, that you just had to leave us for a while. That everyone else would say bad things about you, but we weren't to listen because they weren't true at all. And you loved us." She looked up at Ruth and said, "You love us, don't you?" She looked so small, so lost, and Ruth felt heartbroken that she'd hurt her girls.

"I do," Ruth murmured, pulling Daisy close. "I never stopped worrying about you, I never stopped loving you."

"Even though you have Jamie?" Daisy asked a bit suspiciously.

Ruth paused for a long second, and Daisy took it the wrong way entirely, trying to pull away. "No, stop," Ruth said, holding her still. "I love all three of you for so many reasons. Rose because she's just like me, and I'm scared that she'll be too much like me. You because you were so wanted, so desired, so beautiful… and Jamie because he is even though he had every reason not to be." She pushed Daisy's hair back out of her face and smiled. "Do you want to hear a story?"

Daisy hesitated. "Okay," she said warily.

"Once upon a time, your mum was married to a stock trader who was gay," Ruth began. "And I was lonely and tired and I just wanted someone to tell me it was all right to feel those things, because my husband didn't think it was. He thought I should be happy because I had a good job and Rosie and a nice house and a flash car… and I wasn't. Well, one day, I went out after work with some friends and met a chap in the pub. He was nice enough, but not handsome in a way like, say, Brad Pitt or George Clooney –"

"Colin Firth, mum," Daisy said, rolling her eyes. "He's the sexiest Mr. Darcy."

"All right, well… I'm talking about your dad," Ruth said gravely, "so maybe you don't want to go there."

"Daddy is no Mr. Darcy," Daisy scoffed.

"No, he isn't," Ruth agreed, "but he swept me off my feet and made me very happy for two days. I didn't know it at the time, but we made you… and every time I see your beautiful face, it reminds me of how much I love Harry Pearce. And however much I love him, it pales in comparison to how much I love you." She reached over and gently stroked Daisy's cheek. "I'm sorry you thought – that you could ever think – that I didn't love you, Margaret."

"I'm jealous of a three year old," Daisy admitted very quietly. "Because he's had you and I haven't."

"Well, you have me now," Ruth said. "And Jamie thinks the world of you and Rose already." She paused. "Did you enjoy the museum?"

Daisy nodded. "I didn't think anyone would want to go with me," she said quietly. "Daddy said he wanted to, but he lies about things like that because he doesn't want to say how bored he is."

Ruth smiled and said, "That's very true."

Daisy said, "He tries, you know. He has since you left." There was a slight hint of recrimination in her tone, but it vanished. "But Rosie takes good care of me. She didn't want to go to school and leave me all alone. That's why she put off Oxford another year. She was scared to leave me alone." She looked down at her hand in her lap, fidgeting and playing with the material of her skirt. Ruth just watched her. "When they took us," she said very quietly, "and they shot Ginny… in front of us… Rosie got between them and me and said they would have to shoot her first. She's very brave, mummy. I'm not."

"You are," Ruth said very softly. "Telling me this is incredibly brave. Wanting to leave the house in the morning is incredibly brave." She kissed Daisy's forehead and whispered, "You, Margaret Eloise Pearce, never have to worry about me understanding how brave you are." Ruth looked up to see Rose watching them from the far side of the room, listening quietly. "Rosie, come here," she murmured. "Come here and sit with us a bit."

Rose came over at sat down on Ruth's other side. She snuggled up and laid her head on her mother's shoulder. "I knew you'd be very cross if something happened to Daisy," she said quietly, "so I protected her best I could."

"I would be cross if anything happened to either of you," Ruth said firmly.

They stayed like that, quietly, for a long time.

They were in the middle of dinner when a courier delivered a package with Jamie's brand new passport and birth certificate. Ruth looked them over and nodded her satisfaction. Harry glanced over them and smiled a little, seeing 'James Henry Pearce' on the documents. It was a shout-out to things that should have been, might have been, were once upon a time…

Jamie said, "Mummy, when are we going to London?"

"Soon," Ruth said.

"Very soon," Harry replied. "Is tomorrow too soon?"

"Tomorrow?" Jamie echoed. "That's really soon."

"Yes, it is," Ruth agreed.

Harry said, "I'm needed back at Whitehall. Our flight leaves at 5am."

Daisy sighed. "Daddy – you said we could see a show –"

"We can see a show in London," Harry replied. "Broadway and the West End aren't mutually exclusive, you know."

Rose said, "I have been meaning to ask if you can get us tickets to Anthony and Cleopatra, dad."

Daisy made a face. "Ugh," she muttered.

Jamie watched them all with tired fascination. "Daddy," he spoke up, "is there a bed for me at your house, acause mommy said you didn't know about me."

"There is," Harry said. "There was a nice lady named Ginny who used to live in that room, but we'll make it all yours, Jamie."

Jamie paused and then nodded. "Okay. I never had my own bed afore. Mummy and me share."

"No more sharing," Harry said. "You'll have your own room and your own bed."

Jamie made a little face, then said, "Does that mean mummy doesn't love me anymore?"

"Goodness, no!" Ruth exclaimed in alarm. "It just means that mummy and daddy will be sharing a bedroom."

"Why is it okay for you and daddy to share, but not me?" Jamie asked, confused.

"Because mum and dad love each other," Rose spoke up.

"I love them," Jamie said.

"Because mummy and daddy want to be alone together," Daisy said.

Jamie's eyes got wider. "Is that how we get babies? I want a baby sister!"

Harry spluttered, nearly spitting his wine across the table. Ruth immediately reached up to pat his back, and he gasped for breath, somewhere between laughing, crying, and choking to death. "Jamie, I don't think that's going to happen," he coughed out.

"Why not?" Jamie asked, pouting.

"Because mummy's too old now," Ruth said gently. "And because you're my baby, love."

"But I'm not a baby anymore."

"You'll always be her baby," Rose said, "just like Daisy and I are her babies."

Jamie sighed. "Okay," he said doubtfully. "But you're big girls."

"We are," Daisy agreed, "but we need a little brother to take care of us."

He contemplated that for a moment, then nodded. "I can do that, Daisy," he said proudly.

Daisy leaned over and ruffled his hair. "You're cute," she replied.

Jamie beamed at her and said, "We're gonna go to London tomorrow!"

"Yes, we are," she agreed. "We're going to go home – have you ever had pets, Jamie?" The little boy shook his head. "Oh, goodness! You're going to have so much fun, then – we have three cats and a puppy dog."

"Three cats?" Ruth spoke up.

"Fidget, Lily, and Darcy," Harry said. "Darcy was on our doorstep last winter and the girls brought her inside and the rest is history."

"I'm scared of dogs," Jamie announced.

"Scarlett won't hurt you," Rose interjected. "She's very small and she loves everybody."

"He's not used to dogs," Ruth said softly. "They can be scary."

Jamie nodded and made an uncomfortable noise. "Daddy, why do you have a doggy?" he asked.

"Because she was a gift to mummy and me from Rose's grandmother," Harry said gently. "And Scarlett is sweet and loves everyone she meets."

"Mummy, will you be there?" Jamie asked, his voice anxious.

"Of course, sweetheart," Ruth said, reaching over and rubbing his back comfortingly. "You don't have to be scared when I'm there."

"If London is very far away, how will we get there?" Jamie asked.

"By airplane," Ruth replied – which incited another round of panic at her son's behest. It was going to be a long trip.

Oh band of weary travelers…

Ruth carried Jamie off the plane as he slept. Poor soul was absolutely worn out. He'd been nervous on the plane until he'd fallen asleep on Harry's lap, and they hadn't had the heart to wake him. He hadn't even stirred when they'd touched down at Heathrow. He hadn't awakened when they'd gone through passport control, and he was still asleep as they went to claim their small luggage. The larger pieces were being claimed by the security officers and would be taken by van to the house after a thorough search for bugs and trackers.

The little family stepped through the arrival gate, not really expecting anyone to be there to greet them. Daisy squealed with delight and raced over to Malcolm, throwing her arms around him and giving him a big kiss. "Uncle Malcolm, you came to meet us!" she cried. "Daddy let me go to the MoMA, and it was so wonderful!"

Malcolm smiled and hugged her back tightly. "Oh, Daisy, I've missed you and Rose," he said.

"How is your mum?" Rose asked as she stepped away from her parents to join her sister in hugging Malcolm.

"She… passed," Malcolm said softly. "But she's not ill anymore, and for that, I am grateful."

Harry stepped forward and said, "Malcolm, I'm so sorry –"

"No, don't be," Malcolm said with a smile. "She's in a much better place now. How was New York?"

Harry gestured over his shoulder at Ruth and Jamie and smiled. "I found my wandering heroine," he said, "and have brought her home. However, there's a bit of a snag…"

"A snag?" Ruth said. "You'd better take that back."

Malcolm's mouth formed a shocked 'o' when he saw the little boy stirring awake in her arms. "Oh my," he finally said.

Jamie whined and mumbled, "Mummy, I gotta go to the loo."

Harry took him from her arms and said, "Come, Jamie, let's go."

Malcolm watched them leave, then said, "Ruth – it's good to see you again, but I never guessed that you – is he Harry's?"

"Why does everyone automatically think I'm some kind of a cheap slut?" Ruth asked, a bit miffed. "Yes, Jamie is Harry's. We'd just done an in vitro implantation when I was forced to leave."

"Well, I'm pleased," Malcolm said. "Harry seems happy –"

"Are you coming back to stay, Uncle Malcolm?" Daisy interrupted. "As you've been taking care of us and all… like Ginny did."

Malcolm said, "Yes, Daisy, I moved my things in a few days ago." He looked over at Ruth and said, "I'm the nanny. Can you believe that? I left the Service to become a live-in domestic."

Ruth smiled. "The girls love you," she said. "So that's good, then."

Harry and Jamie came back from the loo, and Jamie rushed up to take his mother's hand. "Mummy, are we in London now?" he asked.

"We are," Ruth said, squeezing his hand. "Jamie, I want you to meet someone – this is your Uncle Malcolm. He's like a brother to daddy and me."

Jamie eyed him suspiciously, then said, "Hello, Mr. Malcolm."

Malcolm smiled. "You know, I have a train set that needs putting together – your dad said I could put it in the attic. Would you like to help, Jamie?"

Jamie looked at Ruth. "Can I, mummy?"

"You can," she said with a smile.

"Okay," Jamie said to Malcolm. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes. "I'm sleepy."

"Then we'd better get you home," Harry said, "so you can sleep till the sun comes up."

"Okay," Jamie said as if he hadn't just slept for hours.

They headed to the waiting cars; Harry wasn't at all embarrassed that he'd called in a favor and gotten someone to install a child's safety seat just the right size for Jamie for their trip home. And Ruth was incredibly grateful that he had.

Jamie fell asleep in the car as Ruth chatted with Malcolm about her life in New York as he drove her and Jamie. Harry was driving the girls in the other car, and she felt a touch irritated that he'd decided on this arrangement of passengers without consulting her. But she was glad to just talk to Malcolm; he'd always been a good, dear friend. If she hadn't been so desperately head over heels in love with Harry, she might have gone after a sweet soul like Malcolm instead.

"So, Jamie?"

"James Henry Pearce," Ruth said with a small smile. "If you want to take care of him, you'll find that more likely, he'll be taking care of you. He's very brilliant, Malcolm, and cunning when he wants something."

"The best of both his parents," Malcolm said with a small smile. "You've done well for him."

"I've tried," Ruth said honestly. "But there are times I know I've failed badly because he needed Harry and I couldn't be a father and a mother all at once." She sighed and looked into the back seat, at Jamie's sleeping face. "That's going to change now, though, isn't it?"

"I should hope so," Malcolm said. "Are you going to go back to work?"

She shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"There are plenty of jobs going spare for teachers," Malcolm said with a jovial smile. "And even more for good spooks."

"I can't go back to Five," Ruth said sharply. "That's not who I am anymore."

"You can take the spook out of Thames House, but you can't take Thames House out of the spook," Malcolm said softly. "Even I couldn't find you, Ruth. Harry was livid with me."

Ruth swallowed hard. "I went to ground. I had Jamie to protect, you see. It was never about me and Harry once I knew I was pregnant. It was always about Jamie." She sighed and said. "Harry told me what happened when the girls were taken –"

Malcolm clenched his jaw and nodded. "Yes. I went after them, and only managed to get there in time to talk down the shooter. He was going to do it, was looking right at Rose and the safety was off." His voice was low and full of pain. "I'm still not sure how I managed to do it, Ruth."

"They're very lucky to have you, Malcolm," she murmured. "And I don't mind you being the hired domestic help," she teased.

"I really do have a train set that needs putting together," Malcolm said.

"I'm sure you do," Ruth said with a smile.

END PART SEVEN