"Edward, calm down-" Roy said with the tone of a parent trying to explain something to a frustrated child.

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I!?" Ed snapped in return. He looked around, trying to pinpoint his location. Upon realizing he didn't recognize the place, he turned to Riza for an explanation. The pixie-woman, Muzét, giggled and nudged Roy with her elbow.

"Oh how cute, he hates you." She laughed. Roy snorted in annoyance and waved the strange woman away.

Riza sighed. She put her hand on her hip and leaned more heavily on that leg, a posture Ed had never seen the Lieutenant have before. He blinked in confusion. "This is my temple, Edward." She said.

"Your…" Ed repeated, confusion painting his voice "…temple?" He muttered the phrase to himself several times, trying to process it. Upon failing to do this, he snapped "Why the hell do you have a temple!?"

"Edward, calm down." She said.

"Fine." Ed muttered.

"Hey! Why do you listen to her when she says that?" Roy growled.

"Because he hates you." Muzét grinned, saying the last two words slowly "And likes Milla. Seems to me the boy has good taste." She winked at Ed as she said this.

Edward, currently unhappy with his situation, turned to Riza and pointed at the pixie woman. "What the hell is she and why does she keep calling you 'Milla'?"

"Because that's my name." Riza sighed. "Edward, it's a long, long story, and it'll have to wait."

Ed growled "Why the hell is that?"

Riza frowned slightly "I'll explain later." She turned to Roy "Sir, I need to go for a little bit."

Roy blinked, and then frowned in return. He nodded slightly, understanding something unspoken between them. Riza motioned for Muzét to follow her, to which the strange woman obliged to. The duo walked right past Edward and Roy and out the temple's door.

"Edward, listen to the Colonel. He knows this place better than you do." The lieutenant said over her should as she left.

"Wait-!" Ed grinded his teeth "Is NO ONE going to fucking explain what's going on!?"

"I will if you'd listen." The man scoffed. Ed growled, trying to calm the anger that rose from the thought of having to listen to Roy Mustang. He decided to both ask a question and exclaim his anger with a simple question.

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU ARRESTED FOR IDENTITY FRAUD!?"

Roy nodded slightly, his now-bronze eyes showing a glint of amusement. "Because Roy Mustang is not my real name." he sighed "This is a long, long, story Edward. So it'd probably be best if we went somewhere we could be comfortable."

Ed snarled at him and opened his mouth to retort.

"Edward, there's a small village at the foot of this hill." He explained calmly, stopping the explosion of the boy's temper before it happened "I have a… friend, there who could offer us a place to stay." When Ed went to interrupt, 'Roy' continued "And possibly dinner."

"…Fine." Edward mumbled. The two of them started off down the steps of the temple. Edward's yellow eyes glanced up at the man he thought he had knew for the past few years. Without a trace of any of the betrayal he held in his heart, he said "So what's your real name?"

Roy kept his gaze on the path in front of them "Jude Mathis."

"Where are we now then, Jude?" the teen put as much spite into the name as possible.

The Mathis-Mustang sighed "Edward, how much do you know about geography?"

Ed snorted "I fail to see how that's important."

Roy gave him a look that was a mix between annoyance and amusement. "Well, we're in Rieze Maxia."

"Rieze Maxia…" Edward repeated the name. His brow furrowed, obviously trying to recall something. Roy smirked and returned his gaze to the path they were walking on. As Edward thought, Roy put a hand on his shoulder gently to stop him from tumbling over a short ledge. Ed shook his hand off, casted Roy a look of pure annoyance, and clambered down. Roy, with a practiced ease, hopped down onto the ground beside him. "Isn't Rieze Maxia like, really far from Amestris?" Ed said.

Roy nodded. "Practically on the other side of the globe."

Ed's eyes widenend. "H-How the hell did we get here so quickly then?"

"Muzét, that woman with the wings, she opened up what is called a 'Dimensional Rift', which pretty much allowed us to…well, 'warp', here." The man explained. "That's the brief version."

Ed's brow furrow "She 'warped' us here?"

Roy nodded. "Yep."

"Wait, are you from here?" Ed blinked. Roy nodded again.

"Well, more specifically a port-side town call Leronde." He sighed.

"How did you get to Amestris?" the teen asked, forgetting his rage and temporarily exchanging it with the need to satisfy his curiosity.

Roy laughed softly "The long way."

"Holy crap." Ed frowned. "Wait, if the lieutenant's actual name is 'Milla', did she name herself 'Riza' after this country?"

Roy sighed "Yeah, Milla's not the most creative when it comes to names."

"How long have you known her?"

Roy blinked, a pale blush creeping on his face "W-well… I wasn't much older than you when I first met her." He glanced to the side, a dreamy smile on his face and suddenly he was lost in his memories.

Ed frowned, thinking. It was very interesting to him how they had got there, but it was frustrating to know not only Mustang, but also Hawkeye have been lying to him and his brother about who they were. Riza has her own temple, which was one of the more interesting things. Perhaps she was some sort of priestess? How did Mustang come to living in Amestris, and under a fake name anyway? WHY did he use a fake name? And the look that Roy had now….

Ed snorted. He knew Roy and Riza had a stronger relationship than they let on, but maybe now that their covers were blown, Roy feels more comfortable blushing and daydreaming over her. Ed coughed into his fist, trying to draw Mustang back to reality. After the first attempt he coughed louder.

Mustang bolted straight up for a moment, startled from his daydream. He shook his head briefly. "Well, anyway, we should be there soon." He looked toward his young companion "I'm going to assume you want to know about the town?"

"No, I'm fine with blindly wandering around." Ed said.

Roy blinked. With a sigh he added "Ed, I sincerely can't tell whether or not you're joking."

"Tell me about the damn town!" Ed snapped.

"Woah, alright." Roy frowned. He turned away from Ed, a flash of hurt in his eyes. Maybe it was just Ed, but Roy seemed to show more emotion when his eyes had a brighter color. Perhaps the darkness that was in his eyes before somehow masked his emotion? Or maybe he was just more comfortable in this environment? Then again, Edward hasn't really been around the man too much outside of the office. Maybe Roy just showed more emotion when he wasn't around his men?

"…Edward, are you paying attention?" the man asked. Ed jumped a bit, startled.

"No, not really. Start over." He said.

Roy sighed "The town we're going to be at is called Nia Khera, it's the Lieutenant's hometown. It's a pretty small village, where everyone knows everyone. Kind of like Resembool."

"Well it was the last time you were there." Ed snorted.

Roy blinked "What do you mean?"

Ed put a hand on his hip and waved his over hand out in front of him as if he was explaining to a student "I know you've been in Amestris for at least three years. But if you consider your rank in the military, then you'd have to be there for at least five, that being a stretch. And from what I know of Rieze Maxia, they just started opening up trade about a decade ago, which mean that it's developing and changing due to the push to contact others."

Mustang raised an eyebrow "So, in short, you're saying it might've industrialized?"

"Yep." Ed nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Roy put a finger to his forehead, crossing the over one across his chest "I guess you could be right. Well, last I remember it, it was a small town that was very faithful to its religion." He crossed his arms "So Edward, I want you to be respectful."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Ed snorted, waving him off. "I won't bite their heads off if they don't bite mine off."

"I'd hope so." Roy sighed. His brow furrowed "Also, about my friend in that village…" his voice trailed off, lingering in silence.

Ed blinked, waiting a moment for Roy to continue. "…About your friend…?"

Roy sighed "Well, I don't quite know if he considers me his friend, although he will help me. Or, you, rather."

The teen blinked "Why?"

Mustang shrugged "Riza, or as he knows her, Milla, likes you."

Ed snorted. "How would he know that?"

Roy sighed "Hell if I know, but if anyone would randomly know, it's him."

"So what's the guy's name?" Ed said, choosing to ignore the comment.

"It's-" Roy cut himself off, listening intently. A look of pure annoyance spread on his face. "Actually, he'll tell you in a moment." He muttered "Probably."

Ed blinked in confusion "What-"

And from the distance, Ed heard it.

"Phooooooooo…."

Very distant, but rapidly approaching and becoming louder and louder.

"oooooooOOONNNNN…."

Kind of… annoying, too. Edward noted Roy spreading his feet apart slightly, tensing up a little. Vaguely, the blond wondered if he should prepare for a fight.

"NNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" A man with long white hair back flipped off of one of the looming cliffs, drawing a pair of daggers and making for Roy's face.

Mustang gently pushed Ed out of the way as the white-haired man flung down. Almost as if this was common, Roy grabbed the man by the wrist and flipped him over, pinning him to the ground.

"Nice to see you again." Roy smirked, loosening his grip.

The white-haired man snorted. "How DARE you show your face around here, you Phony!?"

"Easily, actually." Roy sighed "If I let you up, will you attack me again?"

"…No." the man pouted. Mustang nodded and let him go. The white-haired man got up and dusted himself off, glaring at Roy. Then his eyes caught on Ed's rather confused (and amused) expression. He pointed to the child and looked at Mustang.

"Who's this?" he blinked.

"That's Edward." Roy nodded. The man's eyes widened.

"Wait- like, Eddie?" he gasped. Mustang flinched.

"N-No. Just Edward. Ed." The man said. Roy motioned to the white-haired man, quickly changing the subject. "Ed, this is Ivar."

"Woah-Wait! You can't just sneak that by me!" Ed snapped "Who the hell is 'Eddie'!?"

Roy flinched again and inhaled deeply. He opened his mouth to speak before Ivar interrupted.

"I don't believe that's any of your business, Pipsqueak!" Ivar shouted, crossing his arms and spreading his legs. A nerve bulged on Ed's forehead.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST SAAAY!?" Ed roared.

Ivar blinked " 'Pipsqueak'?"

Ed howled in anger, jumping up and kicking the white-haired man in the face. Repeatedly. After the first two, Ivar started to block them with a fair amount of ease. He turned to Roy, still blocking the angry pipsqueak's kicks, in desperation. Roy shrugged.

"You just need to let him yell it out."

After several minutes, Edward was out of breath, Ivar's hands were bruised, and the three males were heading down the last stretch to the town. Ivar and Roy exchanged looks over Ed's head. Mustang gave Ivar a thankful smile to which he pointed and yelled 'Phony' in an over-dramatic fashion. Roy rolled his eyes and set Ivar's hair on fire with a light 'click' of his fingers.

Another few moments later, Ed was pointing and laughing at an Ivar running around in circles while Roy smirked smugly.

Hi everyone, I'm the author of this fanfic (obviously) and I want to thank you for reading this far! I'd appreciate it if you'd read more as I update and hopefully enjoy it. You don't have to worry about reading A/Ns much at the end of chapters because I really haven't been saying much lately. This is just to cover a few things.

I don't respond to reviews much. But that is not to say I don't enjoy them. Please write me one to tell me how you feel about this fanfic! It helps me get motivated!

Now, I have one other Tales of Xillia fanfic at the time (Four Years After) and I enjoy writing small bonus 'skits' at the ends of the chapter. I was debating for a while whether or not to do that for this fic, and I decided I will! So at the end of each chapter, you'll get a few side-conversations in a skitty-format.

So besides from the skits, you won't (usually) hear much from me. I hope you continue to read (and hopefully enjoy) 'Identity Fraud!'

"Frenemies"

[Roy and Ivar's boxes push against eachother, both with agitated expressions]

Ed: [annoyed] "So do you two hate eachother for a reason?"

Roy: [?] "I don't hate him."

Ivar: "I don't hate him either. It's just kind of habit to act like this now."

Ed: "Why?"

Ivar: [slides over to Roy] "Nosey kid, huh?"

Roy: [sigh] "Back when Ivar and I were younger, Ivar was just jealous because I got all of Riza's attention."

Ed: [smug smirk] "Ohhh."

Ivar: [?] "Who's Riza…?"

" 'Eddie' 1"

Ivar: "Jude…"

Roy: "Hm?"

Ivar: "uh… Well… Sorry."

Roy: [?] "About what?"

Ivar: [Side look] "…Eddie."

Roy: [cringe] [box sinks] "Thanks."

"Ivar the Incredible"

Ed: "So, Ivar, Mustang said you'd introduce yourself…?"

Ivar: [annoyed] "Who's Mustang?"

Ed: [snort] "Oh. Right. 'Jude'."

[Roy slides onscreen]

Ivar: [unaware of Roy] [snort] "Hell if I know."

Roy: "Because he used to come up with these long-winded speeches to introduce himself."

Ed and Ivar: [!]

Ed: [snickering] "Really?"

Ivar: [embarrassed] "N-no! Stop making things up you Phony!"