Chapter 17

I know I promised that Robson was next but I lied. OK - I didn't lie but felt that a few other things needed to happen before we check back in with Robbie & Laura. I am fairly certain they will be next, 80% maybe 70% ok 50/50.

James stood in the empty room staring at the door. He was tempted to run after the man. He wanted to hit him, hurt him. How dare he say those things about Laura? How dare Malcolm Tucker try to twist his feelings for Laura into something salacious?

Long, angry strides took him to the door. As he moved to push it open he stopped, what was he angry about? Was he angry because the man had recognized he had unresolved feelings for Laura? Or was he angry because he realized he might not know everything about Laura? That thought drew him up short.

He ran his hands through his hair. He had to get her out of his mind. He wasn't in love with her, "Damn it." He slammed his hand into the wall and pushed the door open. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his packet of cigarettes and shook one out. Looking at the cigarette he cursed, crushing it and the packet in his hand before violently throwing them in the nearest bin.

Cigarettes had been how he'd bonded with Laura. He remembered the first time he'd caught her out back sneaking a cigarette. She'd begged him not to tell Robbie. He'd agreed if she promised not to lecture him about smoking. It was the first secret he'd kept for her.

He pressed his head into the cool stone of the wall. Why had he kept all of her secrets over the years? And there were a lot of secrets, maybe Malcolm was right, maybe Laura Hobson wasn't as innocent as he thought. Maybe she wasn't the victim, he only had her word.

He pictured her staring up at him the night before. Blue eyes brimming with tears, "I have to tell someone." He'd fallen for it, hook line and sinker. She hadn't planned on telling anyone anything. She'd just wanted to make sure he would continue to keep her secrets. God he was a fool. Why hadn't he seen through it? He pushed off from the wall headed to his car. Angry with himself for believing her, angry with himself for protecting her in front of Robbie. Angry with Laura for fooling him.

Malcolm watched James wrestle with his own demons. He smiled to himself as he witnessed James lose the battle. A kinder man might have felt some remorse. A better man wouldn't have shamelessly picked at James' insecurities. Malcolm Tucker was neither of those things. He was a man who came out on top. You didn't get there being kind or even better. He wanted his life back, he wanted all that he had lost. If he had to hurt a few insignificant people along the way, so be it.

Jean walked through the station reading through the documents she'd been given at her status meeting. Her attention was drawn away from the briefing to shouting in another room. She stepped into her outer office and raised an eyebrow at her assistant, "Connie?"

"It's Inspector Hathaway ma'am. He's been on a bit of a tear all morning."

"James, are you sure?"

Connie nodded at her, "Yes ma'am. I'm not sure who he's screaming at now though. All of the sergeants and DCs bailed out of the station. It's probably some unsuspecting PC catching his wrath now."

"Any idea what he's on about?" As Connie shook her head Jean handed her the stack of papers and proceeded down the hall. She watched from the doorway as James berated the young woman. She stepped into the room and smiled kindly at the young woman, "Inspector Hathaway, my office, now." James turned at the steely voice, anger flashing across his face. Jean met his angry gaze and still smiling said, "PC Adams, I feel confident that Inspector Hathaway is simply having a bad day and hasn't meant a word of his little tirade. However, if you'd like to file a formal complaint against him I will certainly understand and fully support you. Please see Connie, she will be able to help you with the paperwork."

James gaped at her before striding out of the room. The young woman looked at Jean not sure who she was more afraid of, "Ma'am that won't be necessary. He's just having a bad day, he's generally a pretty good bloke."

Jean smiled at her, "That's very kind of you. If he hasn't apologized within 24 hours, please let me know." Jean gave her one more smile then followed after James. The annoyed look on Connie's face told her that James had followed her orders, "Connie, why don't you take a break?"

"Are you sure?"

She looked into her office to James pacing back and forth, "Yes, something tells me Inspector Hathaway isn't going to want any witnesses to what is about to happen to him."

Connie laughed. She had witnessed the full wrath of Jean's temper. For a single moment she spared a thought of sympathy for James. His cursing inside the inner office squelched that thought, "Would you like me to pick up lunch?"

Jean nodded, "Yes, please." She watched Connie leave then closed the outer office door before turning to her inner office and walking into it. She closed her office door and watched James pace, "Care to tell me what all of this is about?"

James pointed to the bullpen where she'd found him, "Why did you do that?"

Walking past him she perched on the edge of her desk, crossing her ankles daintily, "Why did I do what?"

"You pretended to throw me to the wolves. You knew she wouldn't do anything the way you phrased that."

Jean tilted her head questioningly, "Why did I keep the PC from filing harassment charges against you?"

"Yes, why did you? Why did you bring me back to the force? Why did you bring Robbie back to help me transition to being an Inspector? Why have you spent all of these years protecting me?"

Jean raised her chin as she fixed her gaze on James. She could feel her own anger rising. Her voice lowered to a flat, even level, "I'm not sure what you are implying Inspector."

"Did you take me under your wing all those years ago to have a faithful lapdog? I was your little station snitch in those early years. Did you feel like you owed me something? Has this all been your way of repaying you?"

Jean took a deep breath and counted to ten. She had no idea what was going on in his head but she refused to rise to the bait, "I will answer your questions in no particular order. I, as you say, took you under my wing all those years ago because I knew you wouldn't fit in. Yet at the same time I knew you could be outstanding with the right guidance. Did I benefit because you fed me certain information? Yes, I did. Did I use that? Yes, I did. I am a political creature James. You don't get to my position without being one." James seemed to cave in on himself. He hadn't expected her to admit to using him. Jean stood and advanced on him, "I brought you back to the force, as well as Robbie, for the same reason. You close cases James, you make me look good. I like you but don't ever think my personal feelings for you will override your usefulness to me."

James sat heavily in the nearest chair, "So I am just a lapdog, your faithful little snitch that you control like a puppet on a string?"

Jean laughed as she sat across from him, "I've no idea where you got that idea. I knew the day you told me you wanted to be Robbie Lewis' bagman that you were no one's puppet. I always saw potential in you James but it was then I saw greatness."

James stared at her, the last few minutes' conversation playing through his head. He looked desperately at Jean, "I'm so sorry. I don't where that came from."

"James what's really going on here?"

"Do you feel like we are being used as pawns?"

"By whom James?"

He shrugged and she could see his anger building again, "Dr. Hobson? Here we are all concerned about her. You head off to a hotel to confront her ex-husband. I spend the night in her bed comforting her. Robbie's lost and confused because she won't speak to him. Why do we do it?"

"Because we're her friends, her family James, that's why."

He stood stalking furiously through her office, "So we just blithely keep her secrets, protect her."

"What secrets are you keeping for her James?"

"All of it, her marriage, who her husband was, everything."

Jean crossed her legs forcing herself to stay seated, "Has she told you any of these secrets James?"

He turned to look at her, "No, of course not, you know she hasn't."

"Has she asked you to keep these secrets?"

"Well if she didn't tell the secrets how could she have asked me to keep them?" Jean smiled benignly as the realization that James had created his own problem dawned to him. He pressed his head into the wall.

Jean let a few minutes passed before she spoke, "You can't hold your decisions against her James."

"You aren't angry at her?"

"Why would I be angry with her?"

"For all of the lies."

"James?" She waited until he turned to look at her, "What lies has she ever told you? Because, to my knowledge, she has never lied to me."

"She never told Robbie the truth."

"And that is between her and Robbie not you and her." She motioned for him to sit, "I think your real problem is she fell off that pedestal you put her on all of these years." She raised an eyebrow, "Or was she perhaps pushed?"

He looked at the floor, "I went to see Malcolm Tucker this morning."

Jean nodded, their conversation finally making sense, "Let me guess he said all sorts of partially truthful things that wound their way into your mind and pushed all of your inferiority buttons."

James hung his head as the realization that he'd been duped set in, "He said that he wasn't the guilty party we think he is."

Jean nodded, "He's probably right."

James stared at him, "You're on his side."

Rolling her eyes Jean stood and walked to her desk, "Don't be stupid." She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out two packages. She handed one to James before she sat again, "No one is completely innocent or completely guilty."

"Laura's your friend."

Jean motioned to the package she'd handed him, "Eat. Yes, she is my friend but I've also been married for a very long time. Trust me there is plenty of blame to go around."

"You don't know the whole the truth." He took a bite of the granola bar she'd handed him."

"I dare say you don't either. You've always had a soft spot where Laura is concerned. I would even wager that at one time it was more than friendship." The look James gave her confirmed her guess, "People like Malcom Tucker are skilled at reading people and manipulating what they see to their advantage."

"I guess so."

"James you went off to meet him confident in the knowledge that you would be the smartest person in the room. What you didn't factor is he is equally brilliant but he's also a borderline sociopath. Not a quality that you share."

James' shoulder slumped, "What did she see in him?"

Jean paused for a moment thinking of the nicest way to say what needed to be said, "Are you asking because you're worried for Robbie or because you want to know why she never picked you?"

James tried to hide how her question affected him before finally giving up and answering honestly, "Both."

"Malcolm is brilliant, funny, ambitious…all the things women look for. When you are in his spotlight it's like the rest of the world ceases to exist. It is a singular focus that is very flattering when you are the object of it."

"And Robbie?"

Jean smiled, "Because he's brilliant, funny and completely unassuming. He saw Laura for who she was and loved her anyway. He never expected her to be anyone but who she is."

"And me?"

"The only thing I can offer, James, is it's hard for someone to notice you when you put them on a pedestal."

James filed her comments away to examine when he was alone, "How do we protect her?"

Jean shook her head, "We don't." At his look she smiled, "Malcolm will continue to pick us apart. He will find all of our weaknesses and have us at each other's throats. Look what he did to you today."

"So we just abandon her, leave her to fight her own battle?"

"It's the one thing he won't expect. You and I have set the stage, unwittingly, that her friends will fight her battles. It will completely unnerve him if she shows up on his doorstep."

James laughed as he realized the simplicity of Jean's plan, "Give him what he wants. Robbie will never go along with it."

"It's not really Robbie's choice, is it?"

"And who is going to make this recommendation?"

Jean stood and returned to her desk. Putting her glasses on as she sat she smiled at James, "I suspect she will come to the conclusion on her own. But if she doesn't, I'll talk to her."

James stood recognizing that he was being dismissed, "And we just wait in the meantime?"

Jean looked at him over her glasses, "Actually, I'm going to wait. You will be apologizing to everyone you offended, insulted or otherwise annoyed today. I'd start with PC Adams if I were you. I understand she likes hazelnut in her coffee."

Hiding his smile James walked to the door, "Yes ma'am."