Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Revenge of the Wolf

Chapter 18 – Since you're gone.

Jade's POV

When I used to run it was always at night. I never ran during the day. The reasons were several, first of all its cooler and the streets tend to be less crowded. I also like the dark solitary nature of an evening run with my only companions being the stars in the sky. It suited my Goth nature.

Of course there were hazards, namely the two creeps that tried to rape me so long ago. But I was saved a by a wolf. I still remember that day, lying on the ground trying to fight off my attacker with I heard this snarling sound. Out of the darkness it sprang and within seconds, one of my two attackers lay dead; his throat ripped out by the beast.

For a moment I'd thought I'd be next, but much to my surprise, it protected me from the 2nd man. He quickly fled. I had occasionally caught a glimpse of a large dog following me the previous weeks, but this was its first real appearance.

At the time, I had no idea, it was Tori. She liked me, more than liked me and her wolf form already considered me its mate, or potential mate. She followed me because she liked me and to protect me. And protect me she did. That's where it all started. I wonder just how my life would have turned out had she not been there. I'd be dead.

I paid her back by forcing her to kill me.

Maybe I should have died that night, regardless I'm dead now.

As I jog down the street this night, jogging for the first time in years, I reflect on the fact that I am officially and legally dead.

Dead man walking, it's more like dead werewolf, running.

My runs used to help me clear my mind and think. Not so much tonight, with every step, I think about just how much I screwed up. I was able to forget my problems earlier today when I was at the music festival. But there, I was in the presence of Jimi Hendrix and The Who, here back in the normal world, even if it's not mine, my tormented mind, quickly went back to work.

I pushed myself, thought. It's easy to have a slogan, like get busy living or one foot in front of the others. I see their value but one must actually do the work. The slogan will not do it for you. With every step I have to force myself to take the next one.

Go against everything inside of me that just wants to crawl under a rock and die.

I made about half a mile before I couldn't go any further, pretty pitiful if you ask me.

I went back to the apartment, cleaned up and went to sleep. As I have every night since, I've woken up from my coma, I refought the battle in my head. It was different this time, up to know I always kill Tori.

This time, Tori killed me and as I lay dying, walked off hand in hand with Margo.

"Unlike someone else, she listens to me!" Snapped Tori, as my eyes closed for the last time.

Now my shattered mind has found a new way to torment me.

The next morning was my 12th day up from my coma and 21st day since I arrived. If your keeping track, Claudia cast that spell to detect my death the day after I arrived here. She then cannot cast it for a full 30 days.

Thus, Valentina and Julia have exactly 10 days to find Tori and bring her here. Cause if Tori is still in our world and Claudia discovers she's alive, she will do anything and everything in her power to destroy Tori. She knows, far too much.

It would also give her a reason to go after our children in an attempt to bring her out. She would have no idea, what condition Tori was in, but it would be a logical step to go after Fiona and the twins.

The worst part of it is that I can't do one fucking thing about it. I can't stand it. That in itself torments me nearly every waking minute of my day.

All I can do is just force myself to work out and get strong again.

The next morning, woke up to find both Victoria and Jadelyn gone, both having class that morning. Sitting there, drinking my coffee and trying not to go insane, I realized I needed more than to work out. I needed some structure.

Not even sure where that idea came from, but it seemed like a good one.

"Ok, West" I muttered. "What kind of structure."

Not able to think of anything, I showered and decided to go for a walk. Victoria and Jadelyn's apartment was very near a mall and an area with lots of shops and restaurants. So I decided to wander that area.

I need structure and to keep busy. Just sitting around with my thoughts, that's simply torturing myself. I need to keep occupied, when I'm not working out. Perhaps I'd get an idea of something I could do.

Victoria was nice enough to provide me with a spare set of keys, some money and a duplicate of Jadelyns driver's license. Officially her name is Jade West, but since the whole world switching thing started, she kept the name Jadelyn. I hear them in private, refer to each other as Jade and Tori, but that's just between them.

As I walked, towards the mall, I ran into one of those 24 hour fitness places. The place looked ok and if I am going to work out, I need to do so where I can be alone. At normal strength, I can list far more than any human. If I work out late at night, I'll probably have the place to myself.

It was a new place with a special going on, so I signed up and paid the first months due with some money Victoria had given me. They gave me an entry card for the front door, which is locked after 8 Pm and I went on my way.

Another block, down a sign in the window of some family restaurant caught my eye.

"Help Wanted, part time – Dishwasher"

I'm rich, I have a mansion in L.A. and a Villa outside of Rome, I'm the queen of all werewolves and now I'm considering getting a job as a dishwasher. I hated the thought, but these days, I hate pretty much all my thoughts.

Little torments, worries, flashes of guilt, grief, pain, regret, remorse, flashbacks, trauma, all flitting around my head, like a swarm of bats. It never stops.

Maybe some mindless work, help me ignore them. It's humbling and it will also help me pay them back. After all, my bank is in another universe, plus I'm dead anyway.

So I walked in and applied for the Job. The manager interviewed me right away and said he was looking for a dishwasher for the evening rush, from 4-8. I did tell them that I may not be able to stay for more than a few weeks. He must have been desperate, as he hired me right away. I told him I could start that night.

It was humiliating for sure, but a good dose of humility is what I need about now.

After getting my job, I wandered aimlessly and simply to keep myself busy, rode one of the many silver monorails that zipped across the city. Victoria had also given me a monorail pass.

I rode around for a while and then went home. But first stopped at a bookstore and bought a book about recovering from post-traumatic stress. It may help.

So I read for a while, Jadelyn and Victoria returned home and they were happily surprised by my efforts. I do my best to steer clear of them and not to interfere in their lives. They both go to school and both have part time jobs. They seemed to appreciate that.

I went to work that night, it was dirt, nasty work, but it kept my mind off of things.

I then settled into a routine. I'd sleep in to about 10 or so, eat, watch TV, wander around and I'd always spend some time reading. At 4, I'd go to work until 8. Then I'd go home, eat and then jog a route that let me to the fitness place and work out.

Each day I felt a bit more physical strength and stamina come back and I was able to run further and further. But it was a very slow process.

I had a structure, I had a plan and I was getting stronger, but I found it to be meaningless existence. Tori and our daughters were my life, my universe. Without them, I felt empty.

But still I trudged on.

Days passed and that deadline got ever closer, finally it got to the point where it was less than 24 hours away.

All this only heightened my anxiety, made those bat's fly around just a bit faster.

Coming home from work that night, I noticed a very familiar smell as I came in the door.

Tori, My Tori.

As soon as it came to my nose, I rushed into the room to find Valentina and Julia waiting for me.

"Tori! Where is she?"

"Jade." Julia said as she calmly approached me. "She is here, she is safe and we made it just in time. Claudia will not be able to detect her. She will then assume you are both dead. She's in the spare bedroom."

Valentina then spoke. "For some reason, she went in nearly a straight line and didn't stop. She headed northeast. She had made it almost all the way to Lithuania. It was very hard tracking her and finally….."

I could tell they weren't telling me something.

"But what?" I snapped, becoming more frantic by the moment.

"We have a problem."

Not caring anymore, I ran towards the spare bedroom.

Julia tried to stop me. "Jade, wait!"

Bursting in the room, my heart shattered, to see my beloved Tori, still in her wolf form, in a large cage.

"WHAT IS SHE DOING IN A CAGE!" I roared as moved to unlock her, only to have Valentina and Julia quickly restrain me.

"She doesn't remember!" Said Julia.

I tried to move, but they held me back. It was then I noticed Tori, who upon seeing me, began to whine and cower.

"Jade, calm down." Said Valentina. "We had to cage her. She doesn't remember."

I stopped struggling. "Remember what!"

"Anything." Said Julia, releasing me. "She doesn't recognize me, or Valentina. In fact she's shown no signs of the human side of her at all. She's actually tried to bite us a number of times. She's pure wolf right now. Tori's in there somewhere, but not any place where we can find her. She's dangerous and until we can calm her down, we need to keep her there. We need you to calm her down and get her to change back. We've tried everything, but nothing's worked."

Having both released me, I carefully knelt down beside the cage.

"How did you catch her?"

Valentina answered. "A tranquilizer dart, heavily imbued with magic. That cage is reinforced with magic as well. Otherwise she'd break out of it.

As I got closer, she looked at me and whined again, quickly moving back to the corner of the cage where she began to tremble.

She was terrified of me. Just the thought of it, made me feel like I'd been punched in the stomach.

As I with heartbroken eyes, watched my mate cower before me, Julia continued. "We sent Victoria and Jadelyn to stay at Tori's father's house, for a few days. They told him there was a problem with the water and it needed to be fixed. That will give you a few days alone with her. I was afraid that if she saw Victoria or Jadelyn it may confuse her and that could be dangerous. She could kill either one of them, very easily."

I reached in the cage, hoping my scent would let her know I was not to be afraid of.

"Come on Baby, come back to me!" I said, beginning to cry.

Her eyes were full of terror, other than that I saw no sign of the woman I love. All she seemed to know was that she feared me. Even more heartbreaking, was her appearance, her fur was dirty, matted and full of briars. She also looked a lot thinner than before. Still it looked as if her wounds had healed.

"We're sorry Jade, we are. But think of it this way, you're both safe and Claudia has no idea either one of you is alive. You have time now, to get back to where you were. Then plan your next move."

I just sat there, feeling my heart break further. "My poor Tori."

Julia put her hand on my shoulder. "If anyone can coax Tori out, it's you. She's traumatized and I think as a result the human side of her is hiding deep within her. So deep, she's forgotten it's there. I'd like to stay and help you, but we need to go. We can't stay very long."

"Why?"

"Claudia knows I was with you and as a result, she'd had me watched. I have to be very careful, with what I do. I've have managed to spot one or two of them following me. I think she believes I know where Tori is. But I'm sure, once she determines that Tori is dead, she'll back off. Then as long as I act like I know nothing, she'll have no reason to follow me anymore. But for now, I have to get back; I've been invited to a party thrown by some of my wizard friends. Claudia might be there. If I'm late or miss it, that will look suspicious. Got it""

I nodded blankly. "Yes."

Valentina then knelt down by me. "Don't worry comrade, this is fixable. And I have a bit of good news to share."

"What?"

"When you first arrived and we told Jadelyn what happened. After thinking, Jadelyn speculated that since Claudia is essentially a supervillain and supervillain's always have a lair. Now that may sound ridiculous, but it is logical. I've been to Claudia's houses over the years, she has 3, but I don't think it's anyone of those. She's got to have a separate place where she does her dirty work and where possibly her minions congregate. We have a possible clue to its location. One I found at Margo's house, when I went back. But for now, don't worry about it, right now it's only a possible lead. It may go nowhere. You need to fix Tori and yourself and we'll worry about the rest. We've got to go."

Valentina then handed me a key for the lock that kept the cage shut.

It all registered in my mind, but at that moment I hardly cared. They said their goodbyes and Julia opened the portal back to my world. They then stepped in and it vanished.

My perfect Tori was in a cage, my God, what have I done. Seeing this, feels like I had the roof dropped on me again.

The cage was one you could buy at a pet store, collapsible and built for a very large dog. But this one had been reinforced with magic, to keep Tori from escaping.

She's a wolf and a large one to boot. In my condition, still very weak and though she's rather thin herself, I'm sure she could easily kill me.

But there was only one way forward, one way to bring my baby back. It would start with a leap of faith.

Knowing full well the possible consequence, I unlocked the cage and swung the door open…..

Well, on the plus side, Tori is now safely hidden away from Claudia and she will soon be convinced that both Jade and Tori are dead.

On the negative side, Tori seems to not remember her human side and at the moment is pure wolf. Even worse, she seems to be afraid of Jade.

The Chapter title, "Since You're gone" Is a reference to the Car's song of the same name.